Four point nine weeks in the books, and this new format is still more time consuming that I can justify SO. I’m tweaking it YET AGAIN (and then probably again again), and to save time I’m not gonna wax poetic too much about Week 4. Two of our three winless teams kept losing, two of our three undefeated lossless teams kept winning not losing, and that was that. If you need more information FINE READ BELOW….

 

Also it’s gettin kinda sad on the keep making the ‘Topes the BBOTW biz so I might only do that yanno, like one more time.

 

 

 

 

East Coast Kings Check Mate All Up On Rojo’s Renegade Force I Dunno That’s A Chess Reference I Didn’t Want To Think Too Hard About It  –  10-2-2

 

MVP:  Elvis Andrus  –  One of those guys in the above GIF doesn’t suck. HINT: It’s Elvis. Elvis had been kinda filling in for some MI injuries for the Kings and to his credit has done so admirably, and last week was a nice lil week for him. Congrats to Elvis.  9/24, 6 Rs, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 5 RBIs, 1 SB, .483 OBP     

 

LVP:  Chris Taylor  –  Chris Taylor was QUITE GOOD for the Renegade Force last year but had been quite poor for them this year, resulting in a drop from the squad I think mid week here or some such fuckery.  1/9, 2 RBIs, .111 OBP

 

 

 

 

Key Category:  STRIKEOUTS. The Kings won this cat 95-65 and when THAT happens it is probably a safe bet that uhhh, the pitching matchup is gonna be a bit one-sided. And it ’twas, the Kings won it 5-1-1. They also won the hitting cats 5-1-1 but that’s neither here nor there.

 

Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’:  MAYBE NEXT TIME…

 

What’s Next (Week 5):  ECK v. PBX (2-2 v. 0-3-1)

                   
RRF @ IBB (2-2 @ 3-0-1)

 

 

 

 

 

Island Beach Bears Island Beat Down Lakewood Leviathans, Whom’s Fans Now Must Worry About A 2-16 Season (OR MUST THEY)  –  9-2-3

 

MVP:  Rhys Hoskins  –  Just gonna say it is a real relief to the Bears that Rhys is legit and just gonna leave it…..at…..that.  7/24, 4 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 3B,  3 HRs, 6 RBIs, .433 OBP

 

LVP:  CJ Cron  –  A productive 1-15 is still a 1-15, stop trying to make my job unpaid volunteer position difficult CJ.  1/15, 1 2B, 2 RBIs, .176 OBP

 

 

 

 

Key Category:  RUNS. The Kings Bears won this cat 51-32 and when THAT happens it is probably a safe bet that uhhh, the pitching hitting matchup is gonna be a bit one-sided. And it ’twas, the Kings won it 5-1-1 6-1. They also won the hitting cats 5-1-1 but that’s neither here nor there.

 

Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’:  MAYBE NEXT TIME…

 

What’s Next (Week 5):  IBB v. RRF (3-0-1 v. 2-2)

                   
LL @ RCBD (2-2 @ 2-1-1)

 

 

 

 

 

Heroy’s Dumb Goddamned Team Beat The Pacific Beach X-Rayz  –  8-5-1

 

MVP:  Tyler Glasnow  –  It was narrow cat victories in Ks and Ws for the Heroy-lead team, and Glasnow provided some of both and YEA you may have noticed I’m playing a little fast and loose on these awards but that’s because nobody has been very good.  6.2 IP, 2 ER, 9 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 2.79 ERA

 

LVP:  Ryan Yarbrough  –  Yarbrough had been putting together some productive little lines for both the Rays and Rayz but then, AS ASTUTELY NOTED by Rayz ownership, the other Rays got too cute and used him one too many times against the same time over the course of like two weeks and it didn’t work out.  4.1 IP, 7 ER, 2 Ks, 14.54 ERA

 

 

 

 

TRIPLES. Always a shame when you lose the Triples cat despite notching more than one triple, but that’s what happened to the X-Rays as they lost triples 3-2. WORST OF ALL one triple just came from an Alex Verdugo 1-4 day.

 

 

Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’:  CHANGE YOUR GODDAMNED TEAM NAME HEROY…

 

What’s Next (Week 5):  HEROY v. ‘Topes (2-2 v. 0-4, BBOTW)

                   
PBX @ ECK (0-3-1 @ 2-2)

 

 

 

 

Barnegat Banana Slugs Blitzkrieg The River City Bad Dudes GET IT CUZ BRIAN WAS IN GERMANY  –  7-5-2

 

MVP:  Trevor Story  –  Obviously Trevor and I have a COMPLICATED relationship, but also obviously he’s made some necessary changes after that tricky sophomore season. And he JROLL‘d and I don’t think anybody else did in Week 4 so regrettably here we are.  10/25, 8 Rs, 4 2Bs, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 5 RBIs, 1 SB, .464 OBP     ***MVP OF THE WEEK***

 

LVP:  AJ Pollock  –  AJ seemed JUST A WEE BIT off in Week 4 and it turns out his arm is all fucked up and infected or something so now he’s on the IL, and that’s just classssssic AJ Pollock.  3/19, 3 Rs, .200 OBP        

 

JROLLs:  Trevor Story (1, BBS)

 

 

 

XBH. This one ended up brutally close on the extra base hits front, as the Slugs would win 2Bs 18-17, 3Bs 3-2, HRs, and 18-17. So unfortunately yea Trevor Story really fucked up Lobman’s week here. Not to be confused with the time that Adalberto Mondesi fucked up Lobman’s week which                                                          is in the FUTURE.

 

 

Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’:  MAYBE NEXT TIME…

 

What’s Next (Week 5):  BBS @ LTBS (1-2-1 @ 4-0)

                   
RCBD v. LL (2-1-1 v. 2-2)

 

 

 

 

 

2019 WEEK 4 BACKYARD BATTLE OF THE WEEK, SPONSORED BY “Black bear caught in a hot tub in living its best life in Tennessee”

 

https://www.ktuu.com/content/news/509488902.html

 

 

 

 

Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz vs. Astoria Isotopes Goes The Way I Expected It To Go  –  8-5-1

 

MVP:  Cody Bellinger  –  So APPARENTLY this asshole is White Barry Bonds. Apparently. WISH I KNEW, I would have considered asking for another player or four in that Altuve deal.  8/18, 4 Rs, 2 2Bs, 3 HRs, 8 RBIs, 1 SB, .500 OBP    

 

LVP:  Mike Tauchman  –  For some reason the ‘Topes gave 17 ABs to this asshole and damned if I don’t want it immortalized RIGHT UP TOP.  1/17, 1 R, 1 SB, .158 OBP    ***LVP OF THE WEEK***      

 

 

 

BackdoorSliderz Hitter Of Note:  Yepppp Fernando Tatis Jr. had his first JROLL, PERHAPS the first of many for him in his career, WHO KNEW he was going to be up on Opening Day this year lolololololol….o….l Good lord these have been sloppy I highlighted that Tatis JROLL like three times ANYWHO Juan Soto was good this particular week, and clearly I need to start diversifying the team in the BBOTW (8/26, 5 Rs, 3 HRs, 8 RBIs, 2 SBs, .379 OBP).

BackdoorSliderz Pitcher Of Note:  Woulda like to have taken these guys down a peg by noting a deGrom injury but he seems to have dodged a bullet so WHATEVER Justin Verlander had a nice start meh MISTAKES WERE MADE, hey look here’s a Zach Eflin streamed CG (9 IP, 1 ER, 3 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1 CG, 1.00 ERA).

 

Isotopes Hitter Of Note:  In a season of VERY FEW silver linings, at least Nolan Arenado has been starting to get the power stroke back after a slow start but yea still this isn’t really much of a silver lining (8/23, 6 Rs, 4 HRs, 6 RBIs, .444 OBP).

Isotopes Pitcher Of Note:  In a season of VERY FEW silver linings, at least Chris Sale had a bit better of a week but yea still this isn’t really much of a silver lining (12 IP, 4 ER, 18 Ks, 1 QS, 3.00 ERA).

 

BBOTW BREAKDOWN

 

I can likely just break this down by citing the OBP matchup up top, a la one of the reviews above with the totes adorbs cat keys (KEY CAT):  The BackdoorSliderz won the OBP cat here .373-.322. And .322 isn’t even a BAD OBP number at all (despite a few terrible performances, shout out to Justin Smoak in his audition to replace the ‘Topes GOAT Miggy Cabrera [Justin went 3 for 21]), and despite the disparity this matchup opened Sunday up as a bit of a toss up. BUT Sunday saw 6 HRs and 11 RBIs from the Sliderz to keep those cats out of reach, they’d go on to take the hitting uhh SECTION 5-2.

Things were a bit more back and forth on the pitching side and that woulda REALLY been where the Isotopes might have been able to squeeze out an upset here. 109 Ks from the ‘Topes is mighty impressive, as is a 3.72 ERA, but the ButtSliderz weren’t far behind at 3.75 and managed to take two cats narrowly (Wins 7-6, Holds 2-1, CGs 1-0). The CG there was an absolute DAGGER, as Doch sold his soul to the Philadelphia Phillies and was rewarded with a SUNDAY Zach Eflin CG shutout. I mean that nearly single-handedly clinched it, when ya think about it, but not quite, but close enough so whatever fuck you.

Week 4 will see the 4-0 BackdoorSliderz taking on sometimes chat foe Brian and the Barnegat Banana Slugs. The Slugs are fresh off their first W of the 2019 season/a German vacation let’s see if they feel invigorated and can HALT THIS WIN STREAK (pretend I’m not writing this on Sunday). The Astoria Isotopes, on the other hand, will take on longtime friend Heroy and his fucking team. This is the BBOTW because it has been fun to track the 2018 BCS runner-ups disastrous beginning to 2019, but also we are probably going to stop tracking it after this cuz it is getting kinda sad.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week Four Review, MERCIFULLY OVER.