Note: It is 2019 and the world is as bleak as ever. WITH THAT IN MIND, gonna start tracking the bleak Backyard #s as well. Same rules as the records likely apply here but that’s for me to figure out.
Runs: 29 — LTBS(Doch) ; OGFC(Heroy) Doubles: 6 — IBB(Sean) ; RRF(Rojo) Triples: 0 — I’m sure a buncha folks throughout BY history Home Runs: 4 — PBX(Odom) RBI’s: 23 — LL(Shane) Stolen Bases: 0 — I’m sure a buncha folks throughout BY history OBP: .254 — BBS(Brian)
Strikeouts: 57 (12) — LL(Shane) Quality Starts: 1 (10) — IBB(Sean) Complete Games: 0 — I’m sure a buncha folks throughout BY history Wins: 0 — PERHAPS a few folks throughout BY history but maybe just BBS(Brian) Saves: 0 — I’m sure a buncha folks throughout BY history Holds: 0 — I’m sure a buncha folks throughout BY history ERA: 7.64 (12) — IBB(Sean)
BECAUSE everyone else is SELFISH (and because I want to properly memorialize the death of the Bad Dudes, and because look how adorable lil Tony Kemp is) I am here to crank out a Quick Hitters despite currently BATTLING for my BRACKET LIVELIHOOD with an X-Rayz team that just blew the doors off us in the Thursday games portion of the matchup. Fortunately these things tend to be decided Friday-Sunday and fortunately, even if I lose it’s just to Odom <3, but STILL. This weight shouldn’t fall on my shoulders, and yet here I am, carrying this pitiful operation to the finish line. I’ll go back and post Quick Hitters for some random weeks we missed in Like November.
But yea Doch you’re selfish, Bad Dudes you’re dead, let’s cover Week 18 so its spirits can finally rest….
Bears (8-9-1) over Kings (10-8) — 10-3-1
MVP: Jonathan Villar (1 JROLL, .519 OBP)
lvp: Gleyber Torres (0-12)
Banana Slugs (7-10-1) over Isotopes (8-10) — 9-3-2
Lets get this out of the way first, shall we? The BackdoorSliderz put the finishing touches on the best REGULAR season in Backyard history, by winning percentage, and did so in LOUD fashion by setting the Runs record and shattering the HRs record and sending the Renegade Force straight to hell. A fitting end for both, now lets all root against Lacey and root for 2007 Patriots memes.
Lets also get this out of the way, The Bears are BACK IN THE DANCE (at least for now) for the first time since they became the Bears in fact. Last season the squad infamously lost 5 in a row to miss the playoffs, this season they won 3 in a row to make the playoffs (#4 seed) after publicly declaring they wouldn’t be able to win said 3 in a row based upon the quality of their opponents. Well turns those opponents all SUCKED, and can suck IT….nerds. But yea lets all root for this team but not too hard, we can kinda take it or leave it at this point in terms of “winning a playoff matchup”. Seems like a chore.
The X-Rayz ended their season in a fitting manner, establishing a new Strikeouts record with their signature (for this season at least, and lets face it probably forever this is Odom we are talking about) bulk-relief strategy. Somehow this team is once again in the playoffs, despite having the ugliest Opening Day roster for like the second or third season in a row, slotting in as the #5 seed….. again despite a truly hideous roster at times, times that extended beyond Opening Day. The roster is less hideous now, Jose Ramirez in particular is less hideous now, and they’re using the Age of the Opener to their full advantage as only they can. Everyone should know better than to sleep on this franchise in the Backyard Bracket.
UNFORTUNATELY the Astoria Isotopes clung to a playoff spot when it was all said and done, but at least the Barnegat Banana Slugs didn’t?
And LAST BUT NOT LEAST, RIP to the last active “never missed the playoffs mehhhh” streak that The Old Heads liked to lord over the newer generation (we are not counting 2 in a row shut up Doch)…. and with it RIP to the River City Bad Dudes. The Dudes had a shot at a spot had a few things broke their way but first they needed to win and THEY DIDN’T, and those things didn’t break I don’t think, and I’m sure there’s a bunch of excuses they’ll give you about all of this but don’t listen to them they are just some loser non-playoff team why would you ever listen to them. The blender half-full view on all this is now they can’t quit the league or whatever and also now they have this delightful new team name: River City Fightin’ Margs LOOK HOW KEWWWWT…….
Oh yea also the Ocean Gate Fishing Club still exists and they’re in the #BYB as the 3 seed. Also the Lakehurst Leviathans still exist and they are not in the #BYB but TRENDING UP. There now I’ve named everyone I think. Oh The East Coast Kings….. they have the 2nd bye, well-deserved, we here in Island Beach appreciate the tenacity with which they approached our Week 18 battle (jkjk look at the #s BRIAN, extra starters wouldn’t have mattered)
MVP OF THE WEEK:
RONALD ACUNA JR.
13/31, 12 Rs, 6 HRs, 10 RBIs, 3 SBs, .471 OBP
LVP OF THE WEEK:
1 Spineless Quitter
Jonathan Villar (IBB, 2) [11/24, 6 Rs, 2 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 1 HR, 3 RBIs, 2 SBs, .519 OBP]
Fernando Tatis Jr. (LTBS, 3) [7/25, 5 Rs, 1 2B, 1 3B, 3 HRs, 7 RBIs, 2 SBs, .379 OBP]
MOST JROLLs BY TEAM: Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz & Barnegat Banana Slugs – EIGHT (tie)
FEWEST JROLLs BY TEAM: Astoria Isotopes – ONE, and it was Freddy Galvis, so gross.
AND SO, AS CLEARLY ILLUSTRATED ABOVE, YOUR 2019 JROLL AWARD WINNER…….
ADALBERTO MONDESI. Adalberto was the early season favorite once it became clear that trading him for Carlos Martinez was actually a bad idea, and he takes the JROLL crown despite only appearing in 82 games. WHICH IS IMPRESSIVE. Congrats to Adalberto and to the Lakehurst Leviathans for rostering Adalberto.
Thank you for tuning in to Week 18 QUICK HITTERS. ENJOY THE BACKYARD BRACKET EVERYONE (particularly all you losers that are watching from home)(whom I will eventually join)
-OK, so the league is still fun. Its the first thing I check during the season, and I get great joy in spending an hour or two just perusing the FA list for the next gem or SP eligible reliever. I do, however, feel that there are all very valid concerns (at times) about how sometimes people get frustrated about the setup or the monotony of the league day to day. This has led many of us to openly complain or even threaten to leave the league at the end of the year. Maybe we’re all getting older, or busier, or whatever. The thing is: This league is still great and could be even better if a couple of tweaks are made. Below are the beginnings of some referendum I intend on bringing to the table in the off-season, most of which have come from conversations I’ve had with some other owners throughout the past year and change:
Fantrax – Maybe the biggest and most important decision we have this year will be the potential move from ESPN over to the Wild Wild West of Fantrax. Fantrax is uncharted territory for us, fantasy baseball wise. The football experience we had was downright awful, but from all accounts Fantrax has improved leaps and bounds. Despite what Fantrax lacks in a workable app (They’re supposedly making one for next year), they make up for in having all the customization data and options that our league DESPERATELY needs. Sure, ESPN has the interface that’s easy to use, but what good is it if pitchers are given PP stats for 2 consecutive days? We have to manually monitor our dynasty situation because ESPN doesn’t care about that portion of fantasy baseball. With a potential move to Fantrax (WHICH WILL BE FREE THANKS SHANE), we would have all this managed for us. Players who are currently FUCKING high schoolers are in their system, which negates the need for a rights system. Its easy for all of you who don’t attempt to manage this whole process to scoff at moving just for a few high schoolers, but it’s going to safeguard you from making really dumb roster decisions in an effort to get that last 2 AB’s from a rookie infielder. Honestly, I think its all worth risking a year and taking a chance at making our league everything it could be in the end.
League Expansion – This might be a big ask nowadays, but I think expanding the league to 12 teams would be a major positive to the league. Adding 2 additional teams will dilute the FA Pool to a point where people will have LESS options to stream with during the season, which will allow for more trades and careful thought regarding your roster construction. With the impending departure of The Renegades (is he really going?), MAYYYYBE this is a tough ask, but I feel like this would be a major enhancement to the league. I have thoughts about how an expansion draft would work, but that could be discussed if this idea makes it past conception. Even IF Rojo leaves, I heard rumblings that Brian/Shane/Doch ALL have potential owners to replace him, so to me it’s a thought to let them all the fuck in… Let’s get weird!
Roster Expansion – OK, so if adding more teams isn’t as palatable to you as is it is to me, maybe think about expanding our rosters to add 3-5 additional bench spots. These spots would be free for anyone on the FA list, which helps diluting the pool (like I discussed in bullet 2). Taking 30-50 halfway decent players off the FA list will again enhance the potential for trade discussions and allow for people hold onto certain borderline players and not stream as much. Just how many roster spots we’d add is certainly up for debate, but I think this is a logic solution to a problem we have.
Extend the Waiver Period – Sounds controversial, but really there’s sense behind this idea. Currently, we’re at a 2 day waiver period. This allows you to stream through a litany of pitchers, and still catching them for a 2nd start later in the week. The way this league has evolved, teams (such as myself) only have to roster 2-3 starters at a time while streaming the rest of their starts. Sometimes that works, other times it doesn’t, but you shouldn’t be able to construct a roster that just filters thought players like it’s a DFS pick em league. Extending the waiver period won’t cure this entirely, which is OK, but it’ll curb some of the quick drops and adds. In turn, maybe we see some more trade negotiations? Its hard to say, but it feels to me like a 5 day waiver period will place more emphasis on who you drop and not the frequency in which you drop them over the course of the year.
Summing this up: Not all of these changes NEED to be made in order to make this league as good as it could be, but any one of them could surely improve some of the intricacies that we have currently. Maybe it wont cure all the complaining and fatigue, but I think these changes could bring some fun to the league again in 2020.
OH YEAAAA FEELIN goooood here at the blog. Not so good that I actually want to write out a Week Review but good enough to write out a QUICK HITTAZ. Which honestly will likely offend the people that tried to HIJACK this blog even more. I suspect SOME PEOPLE find Quick Hitters offensive because of its brevity and to those people I say:
“Brevity is the brother of brilliance” — George Steinbrenner, allegedly, like at least once…
I also say fuck you, write a review yourself then you illiterate bastards. ON TO Week 17 Quick Hitters…
BUT FIRST, an important note on the tie-breaking procedures that will undoubtedly affect that whole Backyard Bracket thing that’s gonna start in another week….
Head to Head playoff tiebreakers:
Head to Head
Total Season Stats
Record Last 9 Games
Longest Win Streak
Most 10+ category win weeks
More than 2 team tiebreakers:
Head to Head (requires a complete sweep by one team)
Record Last 9 Games
Longest Win Streak
Most 10+ Category Win Weeks
What does all of that mean for The Backyard Bracket this year?! FUCK IF I KNOW, I thought about writing up detailed scenarios but that already seems really hard. Please refer to Mike’s crudely written charts as a starter course:
BBOTW: BackdoorSliderz (16 and ONE) over Bad Dudes (6-8-3) — 11-2-1
MVP: Walker Buehler (MVPOTW)
lvp: Wilson Contreras (3-16, 1 R, 1 RBI, .188 OBP)
WEEK 17 QUICK NOTES:
The Kings wrapped up the #2 seed in Week 17, and those fux in Lacey have had the #1 seed wrapped up since like early June, so we have our top two all set for the #BackyardBracket. #s 3 through 6 will be an ABSOLUTE MESS, but that mess will have sorted itself out by this time next week (hopefully).
The Isotopes stopped the bleeding in Week 17 with a much-needed win (previously had lost 4 in a row, previous to this previously had won 7 in a row, previous to the previous to the previous previously had lost their first 5 to start 2019) over the Renegade Force. With the victory they now find themselves poised to grab the #3 seed or the 4 or the 5 or the 6 or the 7.
The Bears lead the league in runs scored for the second week in a row, perhaps coinciding with Jose Altuve having two working legs perhaps coinciding with the team trolling their owner for declaring they couldn’t win out. They still might not win out, but probably need a W combined with a Renegade Force L to make the playoffs. They’ve already won though, when you really think about it.
The Banana Slugs managed to stave off formal elimination in Week 17 with a victory over the X-Rayz, both teams would be out if the playoffs started today (I think? I know for da Slugs) but THEY DON’T, so that’s fortunate for them and for the league as a whole. Need to sort this mess out.
UNFORTUNATELY that means there is one team that has been eliminated from #BYB contention and that team is the Lakehurst Leviathans, a blog favorite. Regardless of coming up short of their goal in the 2019 season the Leviathans can hold their heads hight for TWO (2) reasons: 1- They have more wins this season than their first two seasons combined, in a particularly brutal year within the Backyard. and 2- They called out ESPN in a tweet which netted us a potential free trial on Fantrax, or maybe it inspires ESPN to get their shit together, or maybe some combo of the two. Hats off to the 2019 Lakehurst Leviathans, look forward to seeing what they can do in 2020 (should the league exist, @Brian ;)).
WEEK 17 QUICK AWARDS / JROLLS
MVP OF THE WEEK:
WALKER BUEHLER (partly cuz he was last time so it saves me from finding a new GIF)
OUR LONG BACKYARDONAL NIGHTMARE IS OVER. A few weeks ago the Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz were some sort of undefeated unstoppable juggernaut (likely influenced by some wholly unsustainable BABIPs but I digress), their heel of an asshole of an owner had taken over the blog with promises of timely content and copious wrestling references, and things looked bleaked folks. Fast forward a few weeks and there has been very little content (FRAUD), and the BackdoorSliderz have finally tasted defeat in the 2019 Backyard season (FRAUD), and now I have returned to write about it in longform while also restoring Jimmy Rollins to his rightful JROLL throne. If you’re threatening an undefeated season culminating in a second straight championship we are forced to take you seriously because that THREATENS the 3PO greatest team of all time narrative. And that allows you a little leeway within the blogosphere. But now you’re just some fraud that’s got a first round bye that’s got to HOPE AND PRAY their team’s insanely good fortunes aren’t running out all at once at the worst possible time. Better to be .450 BABIPing in August and not April, folks. To be fair they also have insanely good players BUT you also have to yanno, HOPE AND PRAY those guys don’t slump or get injured. I see vulnerability in the Lacey’s beady little eyes…..
Oh yea there’s also some other matchups that happened, the X-Rayz finally bulk reliever’d their way to the Ks record, etc. etc. etc. all will be covered BUT FIRST…..
East Coast Kings Perhaps Permanently Pummel Playoff Plans Pertaining Towards The Barnegat Banana Slugs (Probably?) – 12-2-0
MVP: Nelson Cruz – Honestly I forgot the Kings even HAD Nelson Cruz (been kinda outta the review game for a minute) but LOVE IT LOVE HIM love the energy, he’s my second favorite Old Man Masher in baseball (see opening GIF for #1).12/29, 10 Rs, 1 2B, 7 HRs, 13 RBIs, .485 OBP
LVP:Yasiel Puig – Yasiel just didn’t contribute much stuff this week, and that’s about as much analysis as I intend to give here. On the Yasiel front. 4/21, 4 Rs, 2 2Bs, .292 OBP
JROLLs: Francisco Lindor (2, ECK)
HRs. The poor Banana Slugs likely mashed as hard as they’ve mashed all season (7th in HRs) but it still wasn’t enough against a locked in Kings squad, and they lost the HRs cat 25-17. That means 8 more runs for the Kings (the won Rs 60-48), at least 8 more and obviously more than 8 more RBIs for the Kings (they won RBIs 70-57), perhaps a slight OBP bump (the won OBP .363 to .357). Put it all together and you have two teams that had impressive offenses in Week 16 but yanno, one was more impressive. And so that one….won.
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: Haven’t talked pitching in a Kings matchup so let’s do that, shout out to a weirdly dominant streamed Steven MatzCG shutout for the Kings. Also shout out to the fact that mayyybe just maybe Trevor Bauer isn’t the super-established ace Trevor Bauer likely thinks he is. I consider him a super-established whiny little bitch, however…
What’s Next (Week 17): ECF v. LL (9-7 v. 6-10)
RRF@ AI (7-8-1 @ 7-9)
Pacific Beach X-Rayz Rack Up A Shit Ton Of Strikeouts, Also Do Other Things Well In Big Beatdown of Astoria Isotopes – 10-1-3
MVP: Jose Ramirez – JOSE RAMIREZ SIGHTING. The X-Rayz have turned around an ugly start to the season but Jose has mostly been an afterthought even during said turnaround. That is up until July; 9 HRs in a month that has seen the X-Rayz go 3-0. If J-Ram keeps it going into the #BackyardBracket this team can make noise folks.12/30, 7 Rs, 3 2Bs, 4 HRs, 9 RBIs, 2 SBs, .441 OBP
LVP:Mike Moustakas – More like Mike MOSTSUCKASS, AMIRITE? I hate that I’m dignifying that bad name joke, and also this was a real toss up between Mike and Khris (2/22, 2 RBIs), but ultimately we are going with Moustakas and with that shitty name joke and that is just how things are. 1/15, 1 R, .182 OBP
Strikeouts. In a week where the X-Rayz set a new and rather tough to top record in the Ks department, I guess I have to go with Ks here. Ever the Innovator Odom has really taken a shine to this whole “bulk reliever” craze because of course he has, but it’s worth noting the EFFECTS here. The ‘Topes rocked a 9.513 K per 9 in Week 16, better than the X-Rayz 9.217, but WHAT’S THAT MATTER when the latter team tosses 116.2 innings to your 84.2, THIRTY TWO MORE INNINGS THROWN on the Pacific Beach side. And that’s how you set a Ks record and win the cat 119-89, and that’s how you grab 11 wins, and usually there’s a risk of ERA ruin but the ‘Topes managed to suck more (X-Rayz won ERA 4.71 to 5.53), and that’s how you get your doors relatively blown off (also only hitting like 6 HRs doesn’t help) and get leapfrogged in the Backyard Bracket Standings.
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: Eight bulk relievers used by the X-Rayz in Week 16, not sure what his usual is but SEEMS LIKE A LOT… ‘Topes were league-worst in Wk 16 in Runs, HRs, RBIs and I guess that’s just what happens when Khris Davis is slumping HARD… Also a real rollercoaster of a season for Astoria, whom started out 0-5 then won 7 in a row and have now lost 4 in a row…
What’s Next (Week 17): PBX v. BBS (6-7-3 v. 5-10-1)
AIv. RRF (7-9 v. 7-8-1)
River City Bad Dudes Best A Super Invested Definitely Started Twelve Pitchers* Rojo’s Renegade Force Squad – 9-4-1
*one was an opener but beggars can’t be choosers
MVP: Miguel Sano – Miguel Sano is a fat turd (whoever had “turd” twice in Blog Bingo gets a prize) who strikes out too much and is probably a piece of shit, BUT he’s mashing taters this season and mashed some taters in Week 16 and I guess that’sa ll the MVP of the week part cares about. Nice tie-in to the River City Mashers hidden in this paragraph, FAN SERVICE for longtime Backyard fans. The Doch Blog never delivered this sort of stuff, or any sort of stuff really. A totally Weak and Low Energy blogger. ANYWHO YEA MIGUEL SANO. 9/27, 6 Rs, 4 HRs, 11 RBIs, .379 OBP
LVP:Masahiro Tanaka – I mean, FOR FUCKS SAKE Masahiro. You get LVP of the Week cuz I’m not sure I’ve seen that many runs given up in quite some time. And it was against the Red Sawks so SHAME ON HIM. 3.1 IP, 12 ER, 4 Ks, 32.40 ERA ***LVP OF THE WEEK***
Holds. You lost AT YOUR OWN GAME ROJO. The Bad Dudes won Holds 4-1and that isn’t necessarily why they won the MATCHUP (the .342 to .311 OBP disparity probably more damning) but it IS necessarily all I want to talk about here cuz this matchup bores me.
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: Renegade Force perhaps making league history as the first team to knowingly (I think) start an “opener,” THIS LEAGUE JUST GETS WACKIER AND WACKIER…
MVP: Didi Gregorius – Both Didi and JD Martinez did real work in Week 16 (pretend Judge is JD in the GIF above) but Didi did slightly better work and fuck the sawks and so on and so forth.11/26, 5 Rs, 4 2Bs, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 13 RBIs, .448 OBP
LVP:Francisco Mejia – On the opposite end of the spectrum, Mejia did the very opposite of work and contributed nothing but a few base hits and no wonder this goddamned owner always harrasses me about Gary Sanchez. 4/16, .294 OBP
JROLLs: Trea Turner (2, OGFC) ; Adam Eaton (1, LL)
Triples. This matchup was tiiiiiiiight all over the place man, but it’s always an unfortunate circumstance when your team musters more than one three-bagger and still loses the cat. And that was the case here so lets highlight Heroy sadness, two triples (AND ONE JROLL) out of the OGFC and they get bested by a Leviathans team that put up four despite the absence of Adalberto. Tough break kiddo. Other tough breaks include 1 “point” losses in SBs, QS, and Holds but this paragraph was about the triples so we are gonna STICK TO THE TRIPLES.
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: The Leviathans had 69 RBIs (nice.)… ALSO, with this victory the Leviathans have more wins in Year 3 than they had in Years 1 and 2 COMBINED (double nice.)(#TrustTheProcess)…
What’s Next (Week 17): LL @ ECK (6-10 @ 9-7)
OGFCv. IBB (8-7-1 v. 6-9-1)
2019 WEEK 16 BACKYARD BATTLE OF THE WEEK, SPONSORED BY THE 1985 CHICAGO BEARS’ WEEK 13 DEFEAT
Island Beach Bears Accomplish Everything They Needed To In 2019 Season, Slay The Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz Beast Fucking Finally (they are now allowed to go win the championship or whatever I guess*) – 7-6-1
*jkjk we root against any and all back-to-back chamPEEN challengers ’round here, fuck them I want ’em bounced in Round 2..
MVP: Edwin Encarnacion – Were there better performers in Week 16 both on the Bears and on other teams? I mean yea PROBABLY (definitely). But this was another performance in a long line of CLUTCH PLAYOFF PERFORMANCES (as far as I’m concerned I just won the playoffs) wherein Encarnacion, win or loss, gave us a heroic effort. In this case we needed doubles and he HEROICALLY contributed FIVE, 45% of his total heading into Week 16. Good. Man. 11/32, 6 Rs, 5 2Bs, 1 HR, 3 RBIs, .400 OBP ***MVP OF THE WEEK/PROBABLY YEAR***
LVP:Alex Bregman – Bad week outta Breggy and a quiet week outta a few other ButtSliderz Starz in Week 16, it’s almost like that’s how baseball is supposed to work as opposed to having EVERYTHING GO YOUR WAY ALL YEAR LONG. Suck it, turds. 1/17, 3 Rs, 1 2B, 1 RBI, .238 OBP
Bears Hitter Of Note: Jonathan Villarheard rumors of other owners BALKING at requested returns (probably justifiably so) when those owners came asking about himand so he went out and had himself a week on them basepaths (10/33, 9 Rs, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 5 RBIs, 5 SBs, .361 OBP).
Bears Pitcher Of Note: When you trade away all of your other good pitchers you’re left with one good pitcher and then that good pitcher likely ends up your pitcher “of note” in these winning situations, and his name is Mike Clevinger (14 IP, 4 ER, 14 Ks, 2 QS, 2 Ws, 2.57 ERA).
BackdoorSliderz Hitter Of Note: Lets all point at Cody Bellinger and laugh because he DIDN’T absolutely bludgeon me in Week 16 and perhaps he isn’t Barry Bonds, which would be nice for me and my trade psyche (he’s still really good and young and I regret that trade and that trade only)(I’ll still trade any mothafucka)(4/18, 4 Rs, 1 2B, 2 RBIs, .333 OBP).
BackdoorSliderz Pitcher Of Note: And just for FAIR and BALANCED reporting of the FACTS I’ll not do the thing where I try and single out a bad performance here… Robbie Ray had double digit Ks in back-to-back starts so good for him, STILL LOST LOSER (12 IP, 5 ER, 21 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 3.75 ERA).
How many words does one owe history? When will enough be written about our triumphs in WWII, about the moon landing, about the moments that DEFINED civilization? Can enough words ever be written? I posit that they cannot, which is why this blog will fail regardless of how long I write about one of the greatest regular season victories (if not THE greatest) in Backyard history (and I intend to write a buncha words and they won’t even be particularly interesting but THE WORD COUNT, oh the word count). Sure teams have gone on some runs, won some games in a row, even won some championships in a row 😉 . But has there ever been a team that remained undefeated this late into one of our regular seasons? No seriously I am asking. And IF SO, could that team have possibly been helmed by a more despicable owner than the one that currently presides over the Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz? This one I can answer myself: no, for that would be impossible.
Comeuppance has been a long time coming for this team, a talented unit to be fair but one that also has been hashtag BLESSED with some lucky bounces in its day. I think they beat the Banana Slugs in a week when they had like a .270-something OBP, I think Fernando Tatis Jr.and Keston Hiura have had UNSUSTAINABLE BABIPs to begin their respective careers, I think this had to happen the way it happened. At the hands of your fearless, really at this point less-than-part-time, blogger (and perhaps part-time lover) because only HE would then chronicle the great moment in glorious detail. And only HE, thanks to his own human failings, would be able to perfectly set up a Sunday Night Scenario that quite frankly I didn’t see enough applause for the in chat. Edwin Encarnacion is a BACKYARD TREASURE and he deserves your respect. Perhaps no player is more synonymous with their respective franchise, and obviously no player more perfectly epitomizes the GLORY DAYZ of back-to-back-to-back championships for this (once proud, now multiple times renamed) franchise, and now he has basically delivered a fourth championship. Feels like I’ve won the championship this season. You’re all free to keep playing and do the whole “Backyard Bracket” thing but yanno…..whatever.
There was a time when I planned to break down each day of this HISTORIC VICTORY FOR THE ISLAND BEACH BEARS, but holy shit that sounds exhausting and its difficult enough to piece together the play-by-play just from Sunday. So yea with that caveat in place lets now get fucking pumped up and lets fucking LETS BREAK DOWN THIS HISTORIC MATCHUP’S HISTORIC SUNDAY, SHALL WE?! FUCK YEA LETS:
DAY 7 (Sunday, 7.28.19 Anno Domini)
The Island Beach Bears enter day 7 of their battle WEARY and sensing defeat. Things were lookin’ kinda solid with the BackdoorSliderz offense scuffling, and then Saturday they uhh unscuffled. Categories as of Sunday AM were as follows (not because I think anyone wants to read this shit, but because I want to pump up this word count to up the obnoxious):
Runs – Bears lead 53 to 38
Doubles – Sliderz lead 14 to 12
Triples – Bears lead 2 to 0
HRs – Bears lead 11 to 9
RBIs – Sliderz lead 44 to 37
OBP – Sliderz comfortably ahead just take my word for it
SBs – Bears lead 7 to 4
Ks – Bears lead 80 to 69 (nice.)
QS – Bears lead 9 to 5
CGs – Bears haven’t had one all goddamned year, surprised the ButtSliderz didn’t grab one but yea this ended up 0-0
Ws – Tied 6 to 6
Saves – Sliderz lead 4 to 1
Holds – Bears lead 5 to 1
ERA – Sliderz lead like 2 something to 3 something
BEARS LEADING 7-5-2
This lead, this lead is a mirage and the Bears know it. For what you DON’T see up there, though certainly I had the room to note it, is the Bears have maxed out their starts by Sunday AM (and amassed a measly 80 Ks doing so) while the BackdoorSliderz would be trotting out four arms for the final day: Kyle Gibson, Robbie Ray, Walker Buehler, and AARON NOLA. The last arm is of obvious added significance, it’s an arm that already logged a start for the Bears earlier in the week and an arm they then traded away because dynasty is boring make some trades you pussies. It is also an arm that what was SUPPOSED TO BE starting only once in Week 16, was sort of important to me to avoid facing my sweet sweet Aaron in 2019. Alas he ended up getting bumped up to Sunday, and Lacey ownership did what Lacey ownership does best: paid lip service to sitting him as some sort of courtesy or signaling of their high moral fiber but MERELY A SIGNAL, they were never gonna sit him WERE THEY (Bears ownership wouldn’t have wanted that, but also was drinking at the time of the initial message so didn’t really offer that opinion clearly one way or the other, so could Doch have even KNOWN what I wanted? Has he ever known what anyone else ever wanted? Has he failed to please everyone in his life?)?! ANYWHOM, ultimately Nola got the nod and that was the right move I wouldn’t have wanted a bullet left in the chamber.
SO, and stay with me now, what we have at this point is the Bears BASICALLY expecting Ks and Ws to go to Lacey, with a possibility of them going 4-4 in QS and tying that up as well….. things seemed bleak to say the least. As I alluded, the BackdoorSliderz had already used a 16 run/4 double/5 HR/15 RBI/.460 OBP Saturday to overtake OBP and generally signal the end times for the Bears upset chances. Or so we thought :))))))))))))))) It would require a good amount of good Lacey pitchers pitching poorly for the Bears to retake the ERA lead, and we had already done everything in our power to try and grab more Ks or more Ws or whatever by signing a buncha shitty SP-eligible relievers and treating it like BCS Sunday. And so at this point Bears ownership was on the beach not paying much mind to these sorts of longshot hypotheticals, is what I’m saying.
FAST FORWARD to late afternoon and suddenly the BackdoorSliderz pitching staff has managed to blow the ERA lead by pitching jusssttttt poorly enough, suddenly the Bears are told they’re clinging to a 7-6-1advantage, and even more suddenly they must reckon with all of those fucking random SP relievers they brought in to try and grab additional pitching stats. Pretty quickly it was assumed by Bears ownership, QUITE CORRECTLY (because they’re actually super smart and stuff), that those shitty relievers were shitty for a reason and so they would fuck said Bears and return said ERA lead and the overall lead with it probably upon their first opportunity…. almost instantaneously Colin McHughdid just that. Around the same time just GENERAL LIFE LIVING, the sort of thing Rojo has tried to tell us all about from high atop the mountains, prevents Bears ownership (me) from subbing out a resting Nicholas Castellanosfor a not-resting Hunter Renfroe. By the time of this realization the DEFINITELY EXPECTED Luis Perdomo earned runs have also crossed the plate and we’ve officially written off ERA (evidently we shouldn’t have we only lost 3.90 to 3.86, I would have been haunted by Josh Tomlinif things broke poorly), now turning the attention to catching the evil LTBS RBIs and/or 2Bs while also defending a slim lead in HRs.
This is gripping stuff, one would imagine, if both owners were both scowling MLBTV and furiously refreshing computer screens to follow along. And in fact for the sake of this blog post we are going to say that Doch definitely was doing precisely that, in some sad little Lacey cave like the ones people used to pretend Bin Laden was hiding in. There’s some parallels there. At some point we know the LTBS closed the HR gap to one (thanks to Soto or Confortoor Santana or one of those fucks, but this isn’t their story) and at some other point we now know Marcus Semien and Danny Santana have homered to give the #DongsCat it’s final margin of victory for the Bears. Small margin, small total overall but it’s not the size that counts. So ALL GOOD ON THE HRs, hooray for the good guys. RBIs inched close (another size pun in here somewhere), some thanks due to Travis D’Arnaud for contributing 7 RBIs for the IBB while only bequeathing 2 RBIs for the LTBS (he’s filled in admirably for Gary Sanchez), but ultimately despite our best efforts bad things sometimes happen to good people and good things sometimes happen to bad people (see Doch’s 2018 season) and so we couldn’t close the gap there. And by “best efforts” I mean we couldn’t close the gap because Hunter Renfroe hit a grand slam on the fucking bench, with plenty of space for him in our not-being-used RF slot.
SO RBIs weren’t working out and its down to doubles to slay the beast. Ozzie Albies knocked the lone Sunday double for Lacey, the very excellent Danny Santana and Jonathan Villar and Travis D’Arnaud chipped in their own two-baggers for Island Beach (left out a “two-bagger” joke about Dorothy here), and by the time the dust had settled we arrived at a very unsatisfying 6-6-2 tie heading into Sunday Night Sawks-Yanks. This could not stand, however….
SUNDAY NIGHT SAWKS-YANKS (7.28.19 Anno Domini)
The Yankee-loathing Lacey outfit has no participants in the Sunday night game, the Bears have ❤ Edwin Encarnacion ❤ and Aaron Hicks. The Bears need one double or 4 RBIs to finally hand the BackdoorSliderz a much-needed loss in 2019, and the presence of Edwin in this equation has them quietly CONFIDENT….. so confident they are not watching the game one bit, and are going to Mellow Mushroom. I think I’m back from Mellow by the time Edwin evidently smokes a single in the top of the 5th…..
….that moves Hicks to 3rd and no farther, so yea running out of innings but WE ARE FINE EVERYTHING IS FINE. STILL. I think at this point I’m “watching a documentary” on PFAS, Edwin would not betray this organization.
In the 7th inning, we get what we need and by “we” I mean THE LEAGUE AS A WHOLE needed:
Encarnación doubled to left center, Hicks to third.
Print that out and smoke it folks, I’m giving you PITCH TYPE and everything here. I will also note the double was hit off of Bad Dudes RELIEVER PHENOM EXTRAORDINAIRE Darwinzon Hernandez.
Bears win 7-6-1
Bears win self-proclaimed “last week they give a shit about winning”
Undefeated season for the ButtSliderz is off the table, which is a bit of a relief I think we can all agree
Bears now have to keep giving a shit until formally eliminated from playoffs (TAKE NOTE ROJO), which isn’t a relief per se but is still FINE ITS FINE we can pay attention to a fantasy baseball league while still existing in the world (TAKE NOTE LOBMAN, OR MAYBE ROJO, I am forgetting the gripes at this point)….
The league is saved and you’re all fucking welcome
Look I know this one was a bit of a coin flip in several spots and we just have easily could have allowed the LTBS to escape with yet another win and they’re still the current favorites (though clearly I think we’ve exposed some kinks in the armor, not gonna tell anyone what they are it’s a big secret) for that OTHER champeenship still to be awarded. I know all these things. But I also know that this shit needed to end and so Edwin ended it, and so nobody ever ask me if he was available to trade for ever again. Notta one of youz. ANYWAYZ Week 17 has the Bears still in the bracket hunt weirdly enough, so they’re gonna head to Ocean Gate and try and beat those jackasses. And if they don’t at least they beat this jackass. This jackass and his ButtSliderz take on the River City Bad Dudes in our Backyard Battle Of The Week.
June is in the books and it is time to do the monthly power rankings for the start of July. To take a more objective approach, I tried to quantify the category rankings to help with the Power Rankings. I did this by simply adding up a team’s rank in all the categories and dividing by the number of categories to find what I am going to call a team’s rating, just so I don’t use the word ranking 600 times in this blog entry. I did this new rating system through the categories for offensive, pitching, and overall. Obviously, the lower number rating the better, since every team would want to be first in every category. This is by no means a perfect system, but if teams are close in record, their overall rating will be looked at to give a more objective approach to how they are ranked in the Power Rankings. All stats for the rating system were done as of the afternoon of Monday, July 1, so week 14 stats will not be counted toward the rating system.
Well the reigning champion Backdoor Sliderz remain undefeated and have clinch the number 1 seed for the playoffs before the all-star break. As you can see by the category ratings, this is no fluke. This is a complete, well balanced team that is rated first in offense and first in pitching in the league. Their team has been known to devastate opponents to the point that they need to call out of work. There’s a lot of young talent on this roster that should help them compete and make people call out of work for years to come, that is if they don’t break the league this season. They already have 4 players with over 20 HRs (Bellinger, Freeman, Bregman, Acuna). Albies and Domingo Santana are 2 other young hitters having themselves real nice seasons. Santana has over 60 RBIs.
We already saw what some of the young prospects they have can do last year in Soto, Albies, and Acuna, now we are seeing what Tatis Jr. and to a smaller sample size Keston Hiura can do. Tatis Jr. looks legit if you ask me, which makes me love the Altuve trade for him and Bellinger even more. A trade that caught Dochney some flak last year from most, not all though.
The pitchers don’t quite have as much youth as the hitters on Dochney’s Diaper Dandies. They are led by the ageless wonder Justin Verlander as well as veterans like Greinke and deGrom. Walker Buehler is the young gun of the group who is putting together a nice season with his 3.43 ERA and 104 Ks in 97 IP. Robbie Ray is very serviceable because of his K rate but not quite as heralded as the rest because of his inconsistencies and inability to go deep into games. I am sure everyone around the league would take a guy with 129 Ks in 98.2 IP.
Relievers look solid for the Sliderz. Osuna, Holland, and Colome all have firm control over their closer roles while putting up good numbers. D Backs and White Sox need to hang around those Wild Card spots long enough for Holland and Colome not to get traded into setup roles at this year’s MLB deadline though, which is a lot to ask for.
The Fishing Club currently sit tied for 4th place in the standings but they make it to number 2 in the Power Rankings. This is the first team that gets bumped up in the Power Rankings based on their ratings from the new imperfect system that was just created. They are only a half game out of 2nd place anyway so it’s not a huge leap. They have the 3rd rated offense and the 3rd rated pitching, but overall, they are the second rated team. We all know what their core of can do. I am talking about Trout, Betts, Rizzo, and Bryant, who is having himself a nice little come back campaign. They also have some young players who are breaking out in a big way like Josh Bell, who has 25 HRs, 77 RBI, and 65 Runs as of July 2. Austin Meadows is also enjoying himself a nice little breakout season as well, although he has been plummeting down to Earth over his last 30 days with 0 HRs and .267 OBP over that span. Heroy may have missed his chance to trade Meadows at this point, especially now that I am blasting his last 30 on the blog. The rookies are looking solid. Senzel is doing just fine in his first taste of the big leagues, while Yordan Alvarez and Eloy Jimenez look like they will be legit power threats for a long time in this league. Eloy
The pitching was a question mark heading into the season for Ocean Gate, but they have been phenomenal. Luis Castillo has bounced back in a big way with a 2.56 ERA and 115 Ks in 98.1 IP. We all knew Gerrit Cole was a stud, he has 161 Ks in 109.2 IP. Tyler Glasnow was looking like another breakout star before being going down with a forearm injury. Heroy probably won’t get him back before the end of the Backyard season, but I guess there’s still hope.
His bullpen is solid with Iglesias, Vazquez, and Hader. Hader hates to give up hits to minorities so he decides to strike them all out instead with his. He is probably the best reliever in all of baseball and has a ridiculous 16.8 K/9. Iglesias and Vazquez are prime trade candidates if the Reds and Pirates fall out of that Wild Card Contention, so the Fishing Club better be rooting for the Pirates and Reds to stay relevant in July.
R Mac has put together a nice a little squad for himself. When I first came into this league, he was a pitching first team, but now he has a lot of young stud hitters while his pitching staff is more than formidable. Let’s get Yelich talk out of the way since he is challenging Trout as best baseball player on the planet currently. Yelich only has 30 HRs, 65 Runs, 66 RBIs, 18 SBs, and a .428 OBP this season so far. Still has a week to pad those stats prior to the all-star break. He just traded for Rhys Hoskins in what I thought was a great move for R Mac. Sold high on Ketel Marte in that move, good job. Gleyber Torres is a stud buried down at the bottom of the Yankees stacked lineup but that’s ok because there’s still plenty of run producing opportunities down there. Javier Baez continues to carry over his success from last year. Yoan Moncada is finally playing up to his potential as well. Saying finally seems harsh when he’s only 24 years old, but that’s what he gets for signing a huge contract at 19.
On the pitching side of things, the Kings look great on paper. They have Paxton, Kershaw, Berrios Strasburg, and Syndergaard. Paxton and Syndergaard have been mildly disappointing though, especially Thor for me personally being a Mets fan. You can throw 99 all you want but when you leave it down the middle, big leaguers are going to catch up on it. If the pitching stays healthy and clicks like they are supposed to, this will be a very dangerous team come playoff time. Let’s not forget 2-way player Brendan McKay just getting called up by the Rays ready to contribute minors eligible innings and at bats for the Kings.
In the bullpen, Doolittle and Hand are good options that I do not think stand to much a risk to be traded. Kimbrel finally signed with the Cubs and that is great place for him to be and R Mac could not be happier after enduring those 2 long months of dead space on his roster.
The IsoDOPES just had their impressive 7 game win streak snapped by the top team in the league and fell to 4th in the Power Rankings despite being tied for 2nd in the standings and just getting Judge back from injury. T might have a legitimate gripe with the blog for his 4th place ranking, especially considering they were just in the championship game like I don’t know, 10 months ago. But screw it, I have the rankings power now, and I am putting too much stock in my nowhere near perfect rating system, a system in which T is rated 5th in offense, pitching, and overall. So, don’t @ me with your gripes bro, if anything you’re overrated in the power rankings.
The Topes have some good hitting. Mike Moustakas, who I have a personal bias against I guess because I don’t think he is that good, has an Isotopes leading 23 HRs before the all-star break. Those 23 HRs make me look real silly for making my previous statement. Arenado and Blackmon have been a dynamic 1-2 punch as the Colorado edition of the Isotopes. Each have 20 HRs, and OBPs north of .380. DJ LaMahieu may be the hottest hitter in all of baseball currently, he has over 60 runs and RBIs before the all-star break. He is another player I once doubted and questioned how he would hit away from Coors Field. I am eating my words once again on that one. Matt Olson has 16 HRs while missing the first like 6 weeks of the season or something like that, which is impressive. This team’s offense is just going to get deadlier as they are just getting Judge back.
Pitching is just so-so on paper for the Topes. Chris Sale is a stud, I don’t feel like talking about him. Mike Minor is a revelation this season with his 2.40 ERA and 110 Ks in 112.2 IP. They have the ever-valuable SP eligible pitchers picking up saves for them in Sergio Romo and Ian Kennedy. Both of which could be traded and out of closers roles by the end of the month though, because the teams they play for stink.
Rojo Rojo Rojo. Fan favorite of the league. Winner of the superlative “most likely to not start 12 in a week.” I probably should have given him a lower rank for his lack of commitment, but I was more impressed that he sits in a playoff spot even with that lack of commitment. He doesn’t exactly go by the Rays Ways philosophy that Odom does, but he does go by the full line changes and I do not need a closer philosophy. Don’t leave the league Rojo!!! You’re the only non asshole out of your group of friends, don’t leave me with all these other losers next year.
Let’s start off by talking about another player I have openly ripped in the chat or blog before. Eric Hosmer has a Force leading 60 RBI this season. That just upsets me, because I guess I have a personal bias for no good reason against the guy because I always say he stinks and I guess I was wrong, again. Rafael Devers having himself a fine season in Boston. Joey Gallo is not shocking anyone with his 20 HRs, but he has a .426 OBP!!!!!! Goldschmidt has been slightly disappointing, while Chavis has been a rookie sensation. Also, Springer is a stud, but we knew that. And Shohei shoheiing us that he is valuable even when he is not being a 2-way player.
On the pitching side of things, Ryu has been a boss (1.83 ERA, 94 Ks, 103 IP, 13 QS, 9 Ws). Bumgarner looking to have a Verlander like resurgence if he could get traded to a contender by the end of the month. But I know Bummy has a weird no trade list that I do not feel like looking up right now but recall there being some contenders on that list. Maybe just a ploy to get them to commit long term to Bummy before trading for him. Let’s not forget about fan favorite Charlie Morton, who has been unstoppable for Tampa this year (100 IP, 120 Ks, 2.43 ERA).
The Slugs currently are tied for 6th place with the Island Beach Bears. I have no idea who would win the tie breaker if the season ended today, but we have a few weeks until we need to worry about that junk, if we need to worry about it by then. This Slugs team is built on their pitching. They are rated 4th currently, and sport quite an impressive rotation. Simply put Max Scherzer is the best pitcher in the game and he is doing it again this year. He owns a 2.43 ERA to go along with 170 Ks in 122.1 IP, 15 QS, and 8 Ws. Yeah…. Um, he’s good. The pitching doesn’t end with Scherzer, Trevor Bauer has 134 Ks while Patrick Corbin and Jon Gray each have 111. Rookie sensation Chris Paddack looks very legit and being sent down to the minors for those few weeks might have been the best thing to happen for the Slugs if he avoids being shut down for the Backyard playoffs. Oh yeah, there’s this other guy named Severino sitting on the IL for the Slugs. Unfortunately, he may not be healed in time to make in a difference this year in the Backyard. Also, Kirby Yates has 27 saves for the Padres, that’s good for most in the league by the way.
The Slugs offense is a work in progress. They are 10th in the category ratings, which basically equates to them being hot garbage (if you put stock in the irrelevant ratings that is). Not ideal, but there’s potential here. Luke Voit and Eddie Rosario both just landed on the IL, fortunately it doesn’t appear to be serious for either player. Story, Eugenio Suarez and Jorge Polanco are all having good years as well. Puig’s 17 HRs and 13 SBs are pretty good despite a .289 OBP and only 35 runs scored (this is considered having a monster season if you have a team with a shitty offense like the Slugs do). Vlad Jr. has big time potential and we certainly haven’t seen him anywhere near his best.
As previously stated, the Island Bears are currently tied with the Slugs for the final playoff spot. They rated 9th in all 3 of the categories. Gary Sanchez is the best fantasy catcher in baseball with his 23 HRs. Altuve has been banged up a bit and disappointing in general during his Bears tenure, but who knows, he could be healthy and back to his MVP like form any day now. Edwin Encarnacion is another ageless wonder as he just keeps hitting bombs everywhere he goes and is now part of a modern-day Murderer’s Row. Max Muncy and Dan Vogelbach have been having very good years as both have 20 HRs so far. Possibly their good play and three mashers with first base eligibility is why the Bears traded Hoskins for Ketel Marte.
Aaron Nola is the Bears best pitcher and set a pretty high bar for himself last year. So, his 4.22 ERA this year is disappointing to say the least. He still has 110 Ks in 96 IP, and he will be fine over the long run. After Nola the Bears staff gets a little dicey. Domingo German was amid a breakout season before getting injured. Started pitching like dogshit in his last 3 starts before landing on the IL, but the Bears are hoping he gets back to his form in the first 10 starts when he comes back this week.
Shane’s 5 wins so far is the same amount of wins Shane had in his first 2 seasons in the league. In fact, Shane’s squad is sitting a half game out of the final playoff spot with 5 weeks left in the Backyard season. A playoff birth is very attainable for the fan favorite Leviathans. He is rated 10th overall in the category ratings, but that rating is probably meaningless anyway.
My main man Carlos Santana having a hell of a season back in Cleveland (55 Runs, 18 HRs, 50 RBI, .411 OBP). Adalberto Mondesi is leading the league in SBs with 27 and 3Bs with 8. Grandal is one of the few catchers worth rostering and has 18 HRs this year with a .379 OBP.
Pitching hasn’t gone quite according to plan for the Leviathans. Soroka has been a stud with a 2.13 ERA and 9 Wins for the Braves, but his 67 Ks in 84.2 IP is unimpressive. Jack Flaherty’s 94 Ks in 85.1 IP is impressive, but his 6 QS and 4.75 ERA is not. Matthew Boyd having a great year for Shane’s favorite team and I feel his 129 Ks is slightly out of nowhere. His 11.4 K/9 is a dramatic increase from his career 8.4 K/9 and he’s not sacrificing control with a 1.8 BB/9 on the year.
Another team that has been struck by some bad luck this season. The category ratings justify the Rays Ways philosophy that Odom has implemented as they are the 3rd overall rated team in the league, even though their record has them tied for last. They throw bulkers at you on a regular basis, constantly get to the 100 K mark during a week and have tied the Ks record twice this year. The saves and stolen bases are there, just like every year for the Rays, but now their RBI numbers are way up to 3rd in the league. 6th in ERA is not bad either considering he’ll throw any bulker at you seemingly going against any team.
Tough to talk about individuals on a team that has literally made 1243 moves so far this year. Lourdes Gurriel Jr and Austin Riley each look like they’re sticking around, and each have 14 HRs in under 200 at bats this season. Jose Ramirez is supposed to be their best player but has struggled a whole lot this season, at least he has 18 SBs. Speaking of steals, I know Odom is happy about rostering Mallex Smith these days and his 21 SBs.
The pitching side of things is tough to track as well for the X-Rays. They love to stream their bulkers, especially their Tampa Bay Rays bulkers. Outside of the bulkers, Snell has taken a step back, but still has an insane 117 Ks in 85 IP. Lucas Giolito has been a stud this season for the White Sox with his 115 Ks in 96 IP with a 2.72 ERA and 11 wins. They also grab a lot of saves out of Chapman, Greene, and even Edwin Diaz. Diaz is now a Met though so naturally his ERA has gone up 2 runs.
This is a very unfair ranking for the Bad Dudes, the category ratings say he’s much better than last in the league. Lobman and Odom should both probably be in the top 6 and not the bottom like they currently sit in the standings. Lobman has been struck with a lot of bad luck this year if you ask me. His lineup has a ton of power and run producing evidenced by his recent record setting 28 HR and 87 RBI week, but he was only rated the 4th best offense because it does lack some speed. This lineup boasts the likes of Pete Alonso, Manny Machado, and Matt Chapman who all have at least 20 HRs. Bryce Harper and Willson Contreras are both good players, although it could be said Harper, the former prodigy and MVP has been disappointing this season. All this is forgetting to mention that Giancarlo Stanton only has 31 at bats this season. In a Stanton related note, I heard Stanton just signed a sponsorship deal with Herr’s to name a potato chip after him…. AJ Pollock has a deal with Lay’s.
The pitching is where this team seems to fall apart. Alex Reyes is currently wasting a roster spot with his 53 career IP currently sitting in the minors. Brandon Woodruff is really the only pitcher of note for this team with his 3.79 ERA and 120 Ks in 102 IP. The Bad Dudes have a few prospect pitchers who can not make it to the majors soon enough for Lobman.
Dedicated to Tyler Skaggs after his untimely passing.
Week 13 is in the books and we saw one impressive winning
streak end to an even more impressive winning streak. We already have the first seed for the
playoffs clinched and we’re not even at the all-star break. This clinching of the first seed means nothing,
because all that matters is just getting into the playoffs, record doesn’t matter
once in the playoffs.
We also saw 2 teams flirt with breaking the Ks record, the HR
beaten, and RBI record getting demolished, albeit in a losing effort. Most of the matchups ended up not being that
close except for 2.
Unfortunately, there are no Jerichos to report this week either. This is sad news because of the newly found interest in the distinction with the name change which everyone around the league seems to agree is a much better name.
Coast Kings silence Rojo’s Renegade Force 8-2-4
Nelson Cruz 5 Runs 2 2Bs, 3 HRs, 10 RBI, .500 OBP
In an interesting strategic decision, Rojo decided it would be best to only make 7 out of 12 starts this week. Bold strategy Cotton! The move did not pay off as this matchup wasn’t particularly close, I am sure Rojo had numerous empty lineup spots as well if he only started 7 pitchers this week. 48 Ks might be an all-time low, but I don’t feel like fact checking that. One must start questioning how long Rojo is going to stick around the Backyard or if he is just too cool for us losers.
R Mac won the battle of the chat mutes with relative ease this week. He himself only made 11 starts, but that was still 4 more than the other Ryan in the league. Nelson Cruz had a big week on his way to matchup MVP honors. I guess I’ll make mention of Rafael Devers’ 7 2Bs this week, because that is impressive whether his GM was paying attention to him or not.
RRF (6-6-1) v IBB (5-7-1)
ECK (7-6) v RAYS (3-7-3)
Beach X-Rays bulk their way to victory against Ocean Gate Fishing Club 9-3-2
Lourdy Lourd, Gurriel had himself a week with his 7 Runs, 5
HRs, and 8 RBI. He gets the MVP of the
matchup despite The X-Rays tying the Ks record this week. He got a lot of Ks from a lot of guys
including like 16 or something from Snell, but his other stats weren’t the most
impressive considering he had 1 so-so start out of his 2 this week. Kevin Newman was another big bat for the Rays
chipping in 3 HRs and 7 RBIs. X-Rays may
be tied for last, but do not mistake them for an easy win. The no light days and bulking philosophy
makes this team very dangerous. They may
have suffered from a bit of bad luck this season as well when you look at where
they rank on the year in all the categories, but we’ll expand on that more in
the July Power Rankings.
Greg’s team is pretty good in their own right. He got big strike out performances from pitchers Bieber (17 Ks), Cole (13 Ks), and Fried (14 Ks), but unfortunately, he was playing the guy who seems to get 100 Ks every week. The Fishing Club disappointed on offense this week which is a shame considering some of those guys they have. They look to bounce back against the Isotopes in the extended Week 14.
RAYS (3-7-3) v ECK (7-6)
OGFC (6-6-1) v TOPES (7-6)
Banana Slugs out pitch the slugging Bad Dudes 7-6-1
***MVP OF THE WEEK***
Max Scherzer 16 IP, 24 Ks, 2 QS, 2 W, 1.29 ERA
87 RBI for the now last place Bad Dudes. This shattered the previous RBI record which
was established in the BD era, so who really cares about that old record anyway. His 28 HRs were also an all-time Backyard
record. All this was done with Stanton
landing back on the IL. And you can forget
about the 60/60 club, Lobman just established 60/80 club. Most impressive part about these records is
how Lobman still didn’t win the matchup.
He’s still a loser, even with his 62 Runs, 28 HRs, 87 RBI, and .388 OBP.
Lobman only has a few more weeks to trade
for some pitching. He may be sitting in
last place currently, but he is by no means out of this playoff race.
Breaking News. Mad Max is pretty good. 24 K week is no joke no matter how many starts you have. He was simply dominant and helped bring the Slugs to 1 K away from tying the all time K record with Odom’s Rays this week. Trevor Bauer also pitched in 12 Ks over 6.2 innings. This matchup was a classic pitching vs hitting battle and pitching won. All the other team had to do was win 1 category on their weak side and the Slugs were able to win doubles. Luke Voit only hitter of note for the Slugs as he chipped in 5 2Bs.
BBS (5-7-1) v LTBS (13-0)
RCBD (3-7-3) v LAKE (5-8)
Beach Bears beat Lakehurst Leviathans 7-2-5
Well this was an ugly matchup looking at the surface stats, so much so that I really do not want to spend to much time on it. Bears won the category of ERA for the week with a hideous 5.65 ERA to Shane’s 6.00. Max Muncy was good, 12 RBI weeks are very impressive. To the Bears credit, 51 RBIs is pretty good, but .317 OBP is not. The only teams that both these teams would have beat beside each other was probably the 7 start Renegades.
IBB (5-7-1) v RRF (6-6-1)
LAKE (5-8) v RCBD (3-7-3)
OF THE WEEK REVIEW***
Township Backdoor Sliderz stay undefeated with Sunday night magic to beat Astoria
Ronald Acuna Jr 11 Runs, 2 2Bs, 2 HRs, 2 RBI, 4 SBs, .469
The matchup of the week did not fail to deliver. The rematch from last year’s championship
came down to the wire as Dochney was able to lean on the Baby Braves stirring
up Sunday night magic in order to capture a victory. It was Acuna’s home run that solidified the win
for the REIGNING, DEFENDING, UNDISPUTED BACKYARD CHAMPION OF THE WOOOOOOOOORLD,
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEAAAAAN DOCHNEY! (imagine Paul Heyman delivering that). T’s winning streak ended at 7 while Dochney’s
streak is now at 18 dating back to last season.
Dochney has clinched the top seed and it’s not even the ASB.
Dochney did everything he could do to lose this matchup by having
empty lineup spots on full days with players sitting in their respected MLB
lineup. Missed out on a DeGrom QS
because I was sleeping at the wheel and left him on the bench. But the Sliderz were able to produce just
enough while I was on auto pilot. Pitching
was awful for the Backdoor Sliderz. Seems
like they just have not been that sharp over the last few weeks, which is not a
good sign going into an 18-start week against the Slugs.
T had a tough loss in this one as he lost a Sunday lead to Dochney’s squad down in Lacey. T was so emotionally crippled and traumatized from #DochWeek that he had to take off work Monday. Can anybody get LaMahieu out right now btw? He was dominant once again with 8 Runs, 3 2Bs, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 10 RBIs, .654 OBP. Charlie Blackmon is also back folks as he had himself one hell of a week as well (11 Runs, 2 HRs, 7 RBI, .452 OBP).
LTBS (13-0) v BBS (5-7-1)
TOPES (7-6) v OGFC (6-6-1)
A LOOK AHEAD
Next week will be the extended 2-week matchup because of the all-star break. Each team will be able to start 18 pitchers. The biggest storyline will be how many starts will Rojo throw out there?
***Matchup of the week in week 14 East Coast Kings (7-6)
vs Pacific Beach X-Rays (3-7-3)***
This is a shocking turn of events as I stated that Dochney
will be getting every matchup of the week until his streak ends, but it was
decided that R Mac and Odom getting it this week. Odom is fighting to keep his playoff hopes
alive as he goes against a formidable foe in R Mac. Odom is sitting tied for last, but I do not
believe his team is a last place team when looking at his stats compared to the
rest of the league. He may be victim to
some bad luck according to the new rating system that means nothing that was
just created by Dochney. This will be expanded
upon further in the July Power Rankings
Week 12 is in the book folks. There were some tight matchups that went down to the wire. A few teams stayed hot; one team in particular stayed undefeated. Five players were added to the ever popular and fan favorite List of Jericho.
Island Beach Bears are out pitched and lose to the Barnegat Banana Slugs 6-5-2
These teams are tied for 7th place with each
having a record of 4-7-1, only a half game behind Shane’s Leviathans for the 6th
and final playoff spot who sit at 5-7.
It was the pitching that led the Slugs to victory as they dominated the
pitching categories 5-0-2. Of course,
this means they lost the hitting categories 1-5-1, only winning steals in a
close 5-4 battle.
Gary Sanchez continues to mash as he had 3 HRs and 9 RBI on
the week and now has 23 home runs on the year for the Bears. That Yankees lineup going to be fun to watch
as they are starting to get healthy. The
Bears pitching continues to struggle on the season, their team ERA was 5.45
this week. The Bears are ranked 10th
in team ERA and QS on the season. Doesn’t
help when Aaron Nola is pitching a gem from the bench on
Yasiel Puig recorded a Jericho on his way to earning the MVP of the matchup. His 2 steals proved to be the most important of his stats recorded this week. Steals were the only offensive category that the Slugs narrowly won this week. It was all they needed though, because the Bears pitching is just not very good. Strong pitching performances this week from Lance Lynn (15 Ks in 2 starts), Max Scherzer (10 Ks), and Patrick Corbin (8 Ks) for the slugs. Shout out to Adam Ottavino and his 3 holds for the Slugs who won the holds category 3-2.
Puig – BBS
BBS (4-7-1) v RCBD (3-6-3)
IBB (4-7-1) v LAKE (5-7)
hot by beating off the Bad Dudes 7-6-1
Another closely contested Backyard matchup. There’s a new DJ taking over the infield in
the Bronx. LaMahieu had himself a damn
good week with 10 runs and 10 RBI and OBP over .500. He also had himself the only triple of the
matchup. He was only a double short of
the prestigious Jericho, that every hitter so desires to get every week. This was the 7th straight victory
for the Isotopes who now sit in second place after starting the season 0-5. Ian Kennedy had 2 saves with SP eligibility.
Kennedy is over 30 and a former Yankee, this is the only reason why T knows his
The Bad Dudes offense is pretty good. 51 runs and 54 RBIs for the week. Peter Alonso continues to rake .548 OBP, 7 runs, 8 RBIs, 4 HRs, 3 2Bs. Chapman, Mazara, and Machado all had big weeks on their own. This offense is just getting Stanton back too, who will find his groove and start crushing home runs soon enough. Maybe they should think of trading a bat for a pitcher, I know I’d be willing to take Alonso off his hands. 6.25 team ERA for the Bad Dudes this week. Their best pitcher on the season has been Brandon Woodruff (114 Ks in 94.1 IP, 7 QS, 9 Ws, 4.01 ERA). Pretty solid year for Woodruff I will admit, but they need some more weapons out there. Shout out to Alex Reyes sitting at 53 IP in his career. Alex just left a AAA start with pectoral discomfort this week (cue the San Andreas “ah shit, here we go again” meme). He has been struggling in the minors this year anyway, but it would sure be nice for that guy to stay healthy.
RCBD (3-6-3) v BBS (4-7-1)
TOPES (7-5) v LTBD (12-0) ***Matchup of the Week***
Ocean Gate Fishing Club dominate the East Coast Kings 10-2-2
***MVP OF THE WEEK***
It appears Greg doesn’t love R Mac anymore after this week (or whatever Greg’s name was for a couple of those weeks). This one wasn’t even close. The Fishing Club’s staff was excellent with 9 QS, 2.42 ERA, 6 Saves, 4 Holds. Cole Hamels, Gerrit Cole, and Shane Bieber strong weeks, while Castillo racked up 13 Ks in an otherwise mediocre 2 start week. Trout was just a monster as he shows us why he is the best baseball player on the planet. Heroy got good performances from other spots on the offense as well. Alvarez had 3 HR and 8 RBI, while Betts was a 2B away from a Jericho. Amed Rosario was motivated by my words last week and showed he has a pulse (.458 OBP, 4 runs, 3 2Bs, 2 RBI, 3 SB). Get your trade offers in while you have a chance folks!
Berrios was impressive in a 2-start week for the Kings 15 IP, 13 Ks, 2 QS. Christian Yelich is keeping up with his usual insanity and hit another 3 dingers this week bringing his season total 29. Yeah, he’s pretty good too and in contention for this whole best baseball player on the planet thing (63 Runs, 29 HRs, 63 RBIs, 17 SB, .435 OBP). The Kings are looking to bounce back this week against the Renegades.
OGFC (6-5-1) v RAYS (2-7-3)
ECK (6-6) v RRF (6-5-1)
Lakehurst Leviathans beat Rojo’s Renegade Force 9-3-2
The Leviathans pull out their 5th victory on the
season, which is the total they had in their first 2 seasons combined. Nice little turn around going on here for
Shane as they currently sit in the 6th and final playoff spot. The groin injury to Mondesi hurts this squad
a bit, but it doesn’t appear to be too serious, hopefully he is back out there
recording Jericho’s soon. Carlos Santana
is a stud while wearing an Indians uniform.
One of the more underrated players around the league had himself quite a
week with 7 Runs, 3 HRs, 5 RBIs, 1 SB .500 OBP.
He is having a great season so far for a Cleveland team that is suddenly
hot in June (Santana has 53 Runs, 14 2Bs, 1 3B, 17 HRs, 47 RBIs, 3 SB, .417 OBP). Sticking with the Indians theme, Oscar
Mercado had a nice little Jericho as well for Lakehurst this week.
Overall this matchup was a little underwhelming when comparing to the other scores around the league. Rojo and his Gades are sitting in the 4th playoff spot currently. Elvis Andrus chipped in a Jericho. Rojo will look to bounce back next week in a tough matchup against the East Coast Kings.
LAKE – Oscar Mercado
RRF – Elvis Andrus
LAKE (5-7) v IBB (4-7-1)
RRF (6-5-1) v ECK (6-6)
OF THE WEEK REVIEW***
Backdoor Sliderz hold off X-Rays 7-6-1 to stay undefeated
The matchup of the week lived up to its hype as it came down
to the wire Sunday night. Dochney fell 1
RBI short of the elusive 60/60 club for the second straight week. With the X-Rays needing a steal Sunday night,
Yadier Molina took second base for a defensive indifference in the 9th
while Cards were trailing. If that had
been ruled a steal this matchup would have ended in a tie. There were plenty of storylines going on in
this close matchup. These were the only
2 teams to reach the 100 K mark this week. Odom’s squad finished first or second around
the league in the categories of runs, 2Bs, steals, Ks, wins, and saves. X-Rays probably would have won against any
other team this week.
With steals up for grabs going into Sunday, that underdog
team in Lacey streamed the long time X-Rays cornerstone and former Backyard
champion Billy Hamilton. Billy would go
on to have 2 SBs Sunday, helping to keep the category tied at 10 which was
critical for the win for those underdog champion good guys residing in Forked
River. Domingo Santana and Freddie
Freeman had themselves a big week, each with 10 RBIs and OBP north of .440. Buehler was absolutely dominant in his 16 K
complete game, which avoided extra innings with a Matt Beaty walk off. Nobody wants to be on the receiving end of
their pitcher tossing a 9-inning gem without getting a CG…. Nobody! Verlander and DeGrom brought it in their 2
start weeks with Verlander having 17 Ks and DeGrom 19. Big time Jericho for Childish Bambino (4 Runs,
2 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 1 HR, 7 RBIs, 2 SBs, .500 OBP).
X-Rays put up one hell of a fight. As stated before, he probably would have won any other matchup. #NoLightDays was in full effect, attacking you with bulk pitchers seemingly every day. Felix Pena was especially effective in this role having 10 Ks for the week without eating up a start for the X-Rays. X-Rays also got a good performance out of Zach Plesac in a 2-start week (2 QS, 8 Ks, 2 Wins, 1.29 ERA). Jose Ramirez showing signs a life, picking up a Jericho this week. It feels like the Indians have been all over this recap, right? Mallex Smith continues to hit since his call up, 8 Runs and 3 SBs this week.
Juan Soto – LTBS
Jose Ramirez – RAYS
LTBS (12-0) v TOPES (7-5) ***MATCHUP OF THE WEEK***
RAYS (2-7-3) v OGFC (6-5-1)
A LOOK AHEAD
The first and second place teams square off in week 13. A rematch from last years championship. Topes are riding a 7-game winning streak while
the Backdoor Sliderz are 12 and 0 to start the year and have won 17 straight
going back to last season. T will be
looking to get his vengeance by handing Dochney his first loss on the season. Oh, and Dochney secures the first-place seed
with a win this week. I am going to make
up this stat and say this would be the earliest the 1 seed has ever been clinched
in the Backyard. I have no evidence to
back this claim up but let’s roll with it anyway.
Oh yea, there are 4 other matchups that I’m sure have some
implications too. The playoff picture
may begin to take shape this week. Rays
looking to remain alive in a must win against Heroy’s Fishing Club. Shane, the current 6th seed,
facing off against Sean’s Bears who sit in 7th. Bad Dudes vs Slugs will be interesting as
they both are looking at the playoffs from the outside for the first time in
the AD era of the Backyard. And the battle
of the chat mutes with R Mac and Rojo squaring off. Who will break the silence first!?