2022 Records And Tracking

2022 SEASON RECORDS

Runs:  52 – (River City, Week 4)
Doubles:  20 – (Queensboro, Week 2, Lakehurst, Week 3, Queensboro, Week 4, Lacey Twp, Week 4)
Triples:  4 – (River City, Week 4)
Home Runs:  23 – (River City, Week 4)
RBI’s: 65 – (Lakehurst, Week 3)
Stolen Bases:  10 – (East Coast, Week 2)
OBP:  .400 – (Ocean Gate, Week 3)

Strikeouts: 100 – (River City, Week 4)
Quality Starts: 10 – (River City, Week 3)

Complete Games:  0

Wins: 10 – (Island Beach, Week 3)
Saves: 8 – (Island Beach, Week 2)
Holds: 5 – (Island Beach, Week 2)
ERA: 1.73 – (Island Beach, Week 3)

ALL-TIME RECORDS

Runs:  72  —  Doch (2019 [Wk 18]) 
Doubles:  32  —  Heroy (2019 [Wk 10]) ; Odom(2019 [Wk 18])
Triples:  8  —  Brian (2016 [Wk 11])
Home Runs:  32  — Doch (2019 [Wk 18])
RBIs:  87  —  Lobman (2019 [Wk 13])
Stolen Bases:  27  —  Odom (2016 [Wk 18])
OBP:  .456  —  Lenny (2011 [Wk 6])

Strikeouts: 122  —  Odom(2019[Wk 18])
Quality Starts: 12  —  Lobman (2016 [Wk 2])
Complete Games:  4  —  Ryan (2008 [Wk 8]) ; Lenny (2011 [Wk 11]) ; Lobman (2010 [Wk 19])*
Wins: 12  —  Cliff (2016 [Wk 7]) ; Odom (2019[Wk 10])
Saves: 11  —  Mikey T (2009 [Wk 14]) ; 2016 [Wk 5]) ; Rojo (2010 [Wk 1])** ; Cliff (2015 [Wk 9])*** ; Shane (2017 [Wk 14])****
Holds: 12 — Rojo (2018 [Wk 8])
ERA: 1.29 — Odom/Sean (2011 [Wk 20])

Note:  Records in extended weeks are limited to rate stats only (OBP and ERA) EXCEPT in two dumb fucking instances w/ Saves referenced below (we really need someone to get 12). 

*Includes 1 5IP Rain-Out CG.

**Rojo had 11 Saves on an 8 day week. No pitchers pitched on Day 1.

***Cliff had an illegal roster for one day in Week 9. TYPICAL CLIFF.

****Shane accumulated 11 Saves within the initial 7 Day Period within an extended week.

———————————–

2022 Records And Tracking

The Return Of T

Holy crap two posts in one week?!

Quite. It’s real. Baseball has returned as has the Backyard and maybe even this blog? Formal announcements for a few things that you probably already know about.

The Rumors of the Retirement of Mikey T Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

As you’re all very well aware, I have used my wonderful skills of persuasion (how else would I have so many kids if I didn’t, amirite?) and we will see the return of Mikey T to the league after a brief, self-imposed “timeout” of sorts. Not only is he back, but I have secured the Isotopes also be returned to him by the graciousness of “The New Guy” Chris who will “definitely be in the chat” this year. And I have unceremoniously removed my second failed attempt at a brother in the league again and Chris will run that team.

Universal DH

Now that the National League has implemented the DH rule FINALLY, we will do the same. Starting this year, one of our utility spots will be converted into a DH spot. I have also reduced eligibility carry-over to 15 games so more are eligible to be placed there right away, with more quickly following once games get underway.

Killing Off Complete Games

JUST KIDDING

Prize Money!

You read that right. Sean CLAIMS to have pitched the idea before but I didn’t exactly have to convince anyone so DID HE?? ANYWAY…this year, it’ll be $20 of “dues” if you will. Half of that will go to Fantrax to pay for the site and half will go 100% to the winner of the Backyard Bracket. If it goes well, we can look into increasing it in 2023 if I have time to address that instead of saving the league AGAIN. The easiest way will be to send it to me since Fantrax wants to charge per transaction, (it’s 50 cents but come on) so I can pay it in one shot. And the prize money will be held via the Fantrax Treasurer that pays out automatically to the winner, so there’s no chance the shit bag commissioner runs off with it. The easiest way would be to Venmo it to me (@monkees19) and I’ll take it from there.

That’s…all for now? Stop making me do stuff and you won’t have to read these. Maybe WEEKLY RECAPS make a return? We. shall…see.

-Shane

The Return Of T

YAY BASEBALL (Sorry Greg) And Some League Business

Perhaps I might be the only excited person but ask me if I care. I’m gonna be so excited that it’s gonna rub off, just watch. I do want to glaze over a few things as things return to the “new normal” in The Backyard as discussed in the off-season.

Return of Pre-COVID Bench

During the previous two seasons, we had an extended bench to account for the whole COVID thing in lieu of a larger IR/IL/DL/WHATEVER. Since we all know the pandemic is 100% over, the Backyard is going to drop two bench spots heading into 2022. This will go into effect April 1st but feel free to make those cuts early. That’s just when I will make the change and anything after will make the roster illegal.

Fantrax Fee

I was very diligent this off-season trying to find an alternative to Fantrax and I just couldn’t find an acceptable one that would fit all of our league needs. Many had features but lacked out scoring format. Others would do it, but not allow the customization we need. Of the three most popular scoring formats, ours is less popular than points or roto so until something else emerges, Fantrax it is. And since we are a premium league, it does come with a cost that I have not been able to circumvent a third time. This $10 per person fee can be paid directly on the Fantrax site/app, not to me. There’s a deadline on the app, probably.

Everything Else

Honestly, not much. You’re free to make trades and free agent acquisitions as needed and as always. If there are any further concerns, ya’ll know where to reach me.

YAY BASEBALL (Sorry Greg) And Some League Business

BACKYARDBRACKET 2021: BCS REVIEW MOSTLY BECAUSE I WON THE FUCKER

FIRSTLY LET ME BE “FAIR”…

and “balanced” and once again congratulate the Lacey Township Backdoor Sliderz for their many years and half-years of success. Which are now over. Because I fucking WON which shouldn’t be too much of a surprise to you cretons, I’ve done so a buncha times since I’ve been in this god forsaken league. To the point that my victory season may be the very thing that brings the Backyard to its knees. Well it was already on its knees so it’s more likeeee this may be thing that murders it once and for all. The very thought of the blog wielding the championship would have, years ago, been a truly terrifying prospect. Just week after week of me tooting my own horn throughout a probably unsuccessful title defense but ALAS the world has changed. I’ve grown bored with the blog and likely with fantasy sports as a whole so INSTEAD, instead what you’re getting is a ~review~ for historical preservation purposes but one where I likely keep referencing how I don’t want to write these things anymore over and over. One thing I’ll just add once is as far as I’m concerned this league should have been a $20 buy in years ago and so ULTIMATELY, for the rest of my life I’m going to feel like each and every one of you owe me $20. So think about THAT next time you try and criticize me, you bastards. And now withour further adieu, onnnn with the review thingie……..

#1 LAKEHURST LEVIATHANS

DEFEATED 8.5 – 5.5 BY THE TRULY INSPIRATIONAL CHAMPEENS…

#2 ISLAND BEACH BEARS

8.5 – 5.5

[BRACKET MVP — Salvador Perez [LL] (12 Rs, 9 HRs, 22 RBIs, .414 OBP) *Please note this was all for naught BUT, had the Leviathans won the whole shebang, they would have had Salvy’s HR tear to thank in many ways. Interestingly the LL’s backup C (Yasmani Grandal) also went off over the course of their playoff run (12/22, 8 Rs, 2 2Bs, 5 HRs, 15 RBIs, friggin .633 OBP) but again, history gets to be written by the victors so history shall forget the really great work by these Lakehurst catchers OH WELL…..

MVP:  Jeimer Candelario  –  Didn’t really see this one coming BUT Jeimer put up the finest numbers of anyone in the BCS and that’s how this works so take your crown JC. 10/27, 7 Rs, 3 2Bs, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 7 RBIs, .433 OBP     **MVP OF BCS OBVIOUSLY**                

LVP: Matt Manning    Mr. Manning did the Leviathans no favors, with the ugliest ERA in an overall ugly ERA battle between these two teams.  3.2 IP, 8 ER, 1 K, 19.64 ERA **LVP OF BCS OBVIOUSLY**     

Bears Hitter Of Note:  Akil Baddoo was kicked to the curb by the Slugs, perhaps at a time when he was being heavily platooned, and he’s still being pretty steadily platooned, but WHATEVS the Bears were moreee than happy to pick him up Baddoo is a Baddood (sry)(6/20, 6 Rs, 2 2Bs, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs, .417 OBP).

Bears Pitcher Of Note:  Blake Snell suckeddddd for a large portion of the year but conveniently turned it the fuck on come playoff time and that is appreciated (7 IP, 0 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 0.00 ERA).

Leviathans Hitter Of Note:  This is truly the first I’m learning that Jorge Polanco has 27 HRs this season, and well two of them came in the BCS matchup (7/22, 4 Rs, 2 2Bs, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs, .360 OBP).

Leviathans Pitcher Of Note:  A one Matthew Boyd had the second-worst ERA for the Leviathans and really I just want to note that the 3 Tigers starters they trotted out gave them ERAs of 10.80, 11.25, & 19.64 GO ROOT FOR THE CLEVELAND GUARDIANS INSTEAD SHANE (4 IP, 5 ER, 6 Ks, 11.25 ERA).

ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS:  I WON AND YOU ALL LOST AND I WON… Because I was involved in this one (moreso because I WON this one), and because it’s been so longgg since the thrilling matchup nobody paid attention to (I was going to write something weeks ago but yanno, didn’t, so now I’m just doing it for historical documentation) I’m going to cover it OLD SKOOL STYLE, the way I covered it back when I gave more of my time to the blog and back when my good friend and former co-owner Mike Odom won his first solo championship. Which means covering it day by fucking day…….

2021 BCS DAILY BREAKDOWN…

Monday – Bears: 5 Rs, 2 2Bs, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs, .286 OBP13 IP, 13 Ks, 5.54 ERA, 3 S, 1 H Leviathans: 5 Rs, 1 2B, 1 HR, 4 RBIs, .240 OBP14 IP, 10 Ks, 5.14 ERA, 1 W, 1 S, 1 H

Prettttttty BLEH start for both storied franchises (the Leviathans stories are mostly about how bad they were in the earlier years of their existence but STILL, stories…) as both teams failed to crack .300 OBP and both teams pitched like shit. The latter would become a pattern. On the bright side of things all 4 of the Bears RP-type spots contributed, 3 Saves and 1 Hold on a Monday as an early sign of the solid Bear Bullpennin’ to come.

Tuesday –  Bears: 8 Rs, 4 2Bs, 2 HRs, 7 RBIs, 1 SB, .358 OBP14.2 IP, 20 Ks, 1.84 ERA, 1 QS, 2 W, 2 S, 1 H Leviathans: 6 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 HR, 5 RBIs, .321 OBP12 IP, 13 Ks, 9.00 ERA, 1 S

Tuesday saw the Bears put together the most complete pitching line prrrrobably of the whole matchup, which again had absolutely terrible pitching. But Blake Snell was a beacon of bright light all playoffs for the Bears and he did good work here, and the Bears notched a Win a Save and a Hold out of their 3 SP-eligible relievers. Bullpens win championships.

Wednesday – Bears: 16 Rs, 5 2Bs, 1 3B, 5 HRs, 11 RBIs, 1 SB, .574 OBP4 IP, 6 Ks, 2.25 ERA, 2 S, 1 H Leviathans: 8 Rs, 4 2Bs, 2 HRs, 7 RBIs, 1 SB, .358 OBP10.1 IP, 13 Ks, 1.74 ERA, 1 QS, 2 W, 1 S

The best offensive day for either team came on Wednesday and belonged to the Bears, whomst ~at this point~ were feeling pretttttttty good about their chances as they had managed to pull away in several offensive categories. a 3B and HR from Max Muncy and a 4 R, 2 HR, 6 RBI performance from Nick Castellanos helped spark a Bears offense that hummed along to a .574 OBP and I am sure Shane was displeased with this day. Despite the fact that the Leviathans quietly had a fine offensive showing themselves, as well as their best pitching day, but none of this is really about them now is it.

Thursday – Bears: 6 Rs, 1 2B, 4 HR, 9 RBIs, .289 OBP8.1 IP, 12 Ks, 1.08 ERA, 1 QS, 1 H Leviathans: 7 Rs, 2 2Bs, 2 HRs, 8 RBIs, 1 SB, .442 OBP3.2 IP, 1 K, 19.64 ERA

A light-ish Thursday that saw the Bears go another +2 in the HR category, while grabbing their second and LAST quality start (a QS total that would be matched by the Leviathans, again this shit was ugly). The matchup felt pretttttty well at hand from the Island Beach perspective if you were to stop things right here. Shoutout to Matt Manning for doing his best to sink Lakehurst’s ERA once and for all and forever.

Friday – Leviathans: 12 Rs, 2 2Bs, 7 HRs, 12 RBIs, .411 OBP9.2 IP, 11 Ks, 5.59 ERA, 1 S Bears: 9 Rs, 4 2Bs, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs, .309 OBP11.2 IP, 9 Ks, 10.03 ERA, 1 W, 1 S, 1 H

Friday rolled around and WHOAAAAA signs of life from the Leviathans. Without earlier in the week padding the margins this 7 HR barrage from Lakehurst might have been a devastating start to the weekend for the Bears, and while certainly not a welcome sight they emerged from Friday night still on top. An additional triple helped sooth matters, and the pattern continued of grabbing bullpen stats in the midst of an awful ERA week. But credit where credit is due for the Leviathans offense, they went bonkers on Friday evening due in part to that Nolan Arenado guy they stole and his 2 HRs. WHERE is the criminal investigation into that trade, I ask you all….

Saturday – Leviathans: 12 Rs, 2 2Bs, 5 HRs, 13 RBIs, 1 SB, .586 OBP22.1 IP, 19 Ks, 6.45 ERA, 1 W, 1 Hold Bears: 8 Rs, 4 2Bs, 2 HRs, 7 RBIs, 1 SB, .358 OBP13.2 IP, 18 Ks, 8.56 ERA, 2 W

Saturday came and went with another ONSLAUGHT from the Leviathans bats, with the Bears chipping in a solid day in a lesser performance just to maintain a bit of a freakin leaddddd here. Things looked far less in the bag heading into Sunday, again a testament to a Lakehurst squad that showed a bit o’ heart in their weekend performance. 2 HRs out of Salvy Perez that dong-hitting madman of an old man catcher, I dunno what the fuck THAT was out of him but I don’t like it. Witchcraft.

Sunday – Leviathans: 10 Rs, 1 2B, 4 HRs, 9 RBIs, .373 OBP8.1 IP, 4 Ks, 3.24 ERA, 1 QS, 1 W, Bears: 7 Rs, 1 2B, 1 3B, 3 HRs, 9 RBIs, .304 OBP9.2 IP, 7 Ks, 9.31 ERA

Sunday was oneeee lastttt day of the Leviathans bats outclassing the Bears bats and like the entire weekend before it amounted to the Bears holding on to just enough cats….

Amazon.com: Pussy Magnet Costume : Clothing, Shoes & Jewelry

to sneak away with the victory. VALIANT comeback attempt by Lakehurst but they were ultimately undone by the cruel hands of fate, falling too far behind mid-week, etc. etc. etc. If this series had gone another two days or so the Leviathans might have completed the comeback but that isn’t how this series work I AM YOUR CHAMPEEN EMPEROR BOW BEFORE ME YOU PEASANTS. Ahem.

AND SO IN THE END…….In the end the X*Rayz Bears BLOG finally completes its destiny. While it probably would have been better for ~the Backyard~ and for humanity if Shane’s hard work as League Commish and guy that had to turn around a terrible team (to be fair a lot of that was of his own creation) was rewarded with a championship, that’s not what the fuck happened now is it. And I can confidently say that was a karma thing for this Arenado trade, a trade that may TORPEDO THE WHOLE LEAGUE AS WE KNOW IT. But it’s not about the #1 seed Lakehurst Leviathans, who engaged in shady trade dealings with owners that may not even be real people, it’s about the #2 seed Island Beach Bears that took them the fuck out and it’s about me typing this thing up like A MONTH after the fact just to clear it from my “things I was maybe going to get around to doing” schedule even though I am typing into the fucking void right now. It’s been real, void.

For the X*Rayz Bears this marks their franchise’s FIRST CHAMPIONSHIP and their owner’s FOURTH OVERALL championship, his first since the Great Dynasty Split of whatever year that was……that split occurred prior to the 2015 season, is when that was. Let the record show Mr. Odom Me has now stood atop the Backyard Mountain at the conclusion of 4 of 7 14 seasons in the Backyard, folks. Let’s Go To The Bear Parade.

Let's Go To The Bear Parade: Molly McIntyre: 9780997730524: Amazon.com:  Books

WHAT’S NEXT, OR WHAT’S IT ALL MEAN, OR WHATNOT

First let’s just re-run what I wrote the last time I thought I was done writing these things up…..

What’s next for the league or whatfuckingever? I imagine it will continue and I imagine I will continue to be in it. Which is okay I guess. Either way on that one, tbh, but what I’m really interested in opining about is what’s next for this horrifically named blog.

When I started this blog in 2015 I wante….jkjkjk I didn’t start this fucking thing, Mike did. Hence the ridiculous name. I think there was another wordpress named “Backyard Views” or “Views From The Backyard” or some shit and it was just filled with bad poetry, and honestly I prefer that one. ANYWHO, BEHOLD Mike’s first post:

“Oh hey guys.

This site is here to continue with the overwhelming information stream that we already have for our fantasy baseball page, and life in general. I’ve been thinking about making this for a while, mostly to track some of the happenings on the site, and really to give everyone a forum to post, well, anything they want really. Mainly we will focus this thing on the fantasy baseball page, but hey, go nuts with whatever you’d like.

Please note: This will be a good storage site for all of our favorite stories, rankings, T’d Up episodes, Trade Block discussions, etc.

There’s also an app, so maybe it’ll be good. I’ll check it out and let you know.

Feel free to make an account and post something. Ya know.

Lobman”

Wow wouldjya look at that Mike was even sort of ENCOURAGING poetry to be posted on here, is how I read that. Can’t believe Brian continues to let that opportunity go to waste.

ANYWHO when I look at that post now there’s a picture of an enlarged prostate just below it (“Urologist: Enlarged Prostate? Do This Immediately (Try Tonight), and that feels pretty fucking fitting here. This thing has gotten a bit longgggg in the tooth, as have I, and we’ve grown together…..me and this thing. Both for the worse. I’m FAR TOO indispensable a County employee to continue to hastily bang out reviews whilst @ work, and also FAR TOO busy being fucking cool (or napping or drinking or something) when not @ work so it’s tough to say…..what the future holds…..for this blog. Also, if I’m being perfectly honest WordPress’ new format fucking sucks a spiky one. I am DISGUSTED by the spacing on these latter posts of mine and I have no plans to learn how to properly format these things, and the blog deserves better. Deserves better spacing. Deserves better effort all around.

There’s a temptation to Viking Funeral this thing but also that sorta defeats the purpose of whatever it was I was attempting to do this year, by putting out shitty reviews of the Backyard Bracket and such. So it stands as some sort of historical record. And PERHAPS there’s some sort of collaborative effort to reclaim its glory as something capable of making an owner quit the league, but the key word there is “collaborative” and you’re all lazy fucks so uhhhh….yea. BASICALLY I’m just saying this thing might get pretty dusty in the 2021 fantasy season (I guess we are gonna have one of those?) and this is me making peace with that. If this is my last post my only regret is not saying meaner things about Dochney in it. Cuz

FUCK

THAT

GUY

STILL HOLDS UP, I gotta say. And I feel like it was something I was comfortable leaving asmy last blog post and then I just haddddd to go and win the next season and so naturally I needed to make sure that was properly documented in the internet’s permanent ink and so here were are. For those reasons I don’t want to write over top of it too much but I’ll just add, beyond all that stuff above, I just need to add that I that I reserve the right to stick to my occasionally-voiced vow to retire if I won the championship in 2021. Because I won the championship in 2021. And so I can quit if I want to and nobody can stop me.

AND EVEN IF I do not retire in 2022, that is if there is even a league to not retire from, this…..blog……must…..end. At least the part of it where I write this stuff up, it seems like Shane was keeping up with the weekly records pretty solidly which is commendable because he works like 7 jobs and has like eleventeen kids so I don’t think I should be complaining about having less time at work to write these things up (I mostly refuse to consider doing it on *actual free time* but it’s like DOES SHANE EVEN HAVE THAT?!). But yea really I want to blame WordPress’ wonky piece-of-shit new writing format for the slow decline and eventual death of this blow these days. Put THAT on their conscience yanno? I SHAN’T wrestle with this buggy bullshit any longer.

It’s hard to write this thing coherently when I give so little of a shit about this post and it’s hard to not close this with a nod to Kurt Cobain’s suicide letter and it’s better to burn out than fade away. And this thing has sorta been doing a bit of both of those things over the past two-ish years (much like our planet), hence me quarter-assedly writing a post that I will not like “advertise” in a Backyard chat I do not exactly check up on regularly (just about never, clearly, but let it be known I appreciate you all IRL but these MOBILE PHONES mannnn…..they’re the devil I tell you….not sure if anyone’s suggested this yet). So it’s time to hang up the ole’ typewriter gang, and maybe down the line examine why I use so many parentheseseses when I get the time. This is perhaps the most hideous post I’ve ever posted and I think that’s the best way to sign off. Rock and roll can never die.

YOUR 2021 CHAMPEEN (and don’t you chumps fucking forget it)(see here’s the parentheses thing again, they have no business being featured in this many sentences and I kind of do it in texts and at work at times and it’s like WHAT IS THIS ABOUT REALLY?),

The Island Beach Bears

This was beautiful work Brian gotta say….
Less beautiful but still appreciated…

#BEARFOREVER ❤
BACKYARDBRACKET 2021: BCS REVIEW MOSTLY BECAUSE I WON THE FUCKER

2021 SEASON/POSTSEASON REVIEW & BCS PREVIEW: Ding Dong The *Witch Is Dead Edition

*……by witch i mean bitch, perhaps it autocorrected cuz i’m doing this BY PHONE

SPECIAL REPORT from Seattle….

Fucks sake, it’s been nearly a year since I wrote one of these things and boyyyy do I not miss it and boyyy do I regret attempting this on a phone but it’s happening now and BOYYYY WHATTA YEAR it has been. ~Backyard~ bitching is probably near an ATH, I can’t quite quantify that because I’ve all but stopped looking at the chat (honestly how much covid content can you fucking cram in there MIKE). Overall engagement with the league seemingly ebbing and flowing team by team, to the point where Rojo and I didn’t find out Mikey T had quit until like 3 weeks later (Rojo has since also quit). And yet….the league….trudges on. Have there been some great storylines? MAYBE. Mikey T quitting like the undersized little leaguer he’s always been is kinda fun, Shane’s worst to first routine is nice to see. Brian getting trounced in the playoffs ALWAYS a welcome sight. Have there been some trades? I think so. Our noble commissioner really wouldn’t want me digging too deep into this Nolan Arenado fiasco I know that much. Am I now in the BCS and writing this just to take some cheapshots at all of you LOSERS that aren’t? Almost certainly. Let’s recap the year as concisely as possible shall we? Cuz I’ve got an “Underground Tour” in like 90 mins….

THE 2021 SEASON ….. What can I say about this season that hasn’t already been said? Literally anything, because the blog has withered and died like so many of our hopes and dreams. Shane valiantly attempted a Power Rankings 5 weeks in, and it’s possible the Weekly and All Time Records are somewhat accurate, but other than that we got not a lot. The Power Rankings DO show the two eventual BCS-bound squads in the top 3 so that’s a nice time capsule. The Margs at number one but we SAW how they went out now didn’t we (I beat them. is how.) Ultimately this whole thing is like a nice time capsule now isn’t it. Let’s do some quick hits:

Favorite 2021 Backyard Storyline: LAKEHURST LEVIATHANS

Hard not to get at least a lil bit misty-eyed about the slow buildup of the Lakehurst Leviathans run to the numero uno seed here. This is a team that was 3-8 in that sham of a 2020 season but also 6-12 in ‘19, 2-16 in ‘18, 3-14-1 in ‘17. SHANE HAS ALWAYS BEEN REALLY BAD AT THIS. And now for the first time he’s really been pretty good at this, this season, and it’s just a shame people haven’t been more supportive of that. The Leviathans have gotten a helluva rookie year out of Jonathan India and StarMar has stolen a buncha bags and Zack Wheeler has been really good and aside from that I’m not sure how they’ve done it folks. When Shane lost (so very often) he didn’t lose the lesson, I guess. THE DALAI LAMA LOOK HIM UP

Runner-Up Fave Story: All the quittings. So longggg suckerrrrrs (also maybe save a seat on the bus outta here for me and my trophy)

Runner-Up to the Runner-Up Fave Story: Doch’s reign of terror finally coming to an end. It was a great 2.5 season run Doch, but go fuck yourself. Truly.

2021 BACKYARD AWARDS (poorly researched):

MVP: Shohei Ohtani (Bashers) – He’s been ridiculous and I enjoyed the idea of him languishing away on Rojo’s team, surrounded by empty roster slots.

Cy Young: Adam Wainwright (‘Topes) – Could very easily also give this to Ohtani but SOMEHOW Wainwright has been really good and twirled 3 CGs and so TECHNICALLY the rating system has him higher. And let’s let the old guy have it. And look how these two guys are on teams with new ownership, THIS LEAGUE IS GONNA DO JUST FINE.

ROY: Jonathan India (Leviathans) – I mean I just ASSUME, they’re in the BCS after all.

PLAYOFFS REVIEW AND BCS PREVIEW

Luis Garcia getting ready to contribute LITTLE TO NOTHING to the Bears BCS Monday

I wouldn’t want to spend too much time devoted to the LOSERS of these earlier rounds cuz really this is all about me and Shane. But the earlier rounds had to happen first so let’s have at it…

ROUND ONE REVIEW

The Leviathans and Bears sat back with their byes and watched the Banana Slugs get absolutely TROUNCED by the league’s reigning champeens, 10.5 – 3.5. Chalk this up as another season when the Slugs SURELY felt they had a top team but were surely wrong. The Margs and OGFC played a far tighter one, ending in a 7-7 draw when uhhh Bradley Zimmer or some shit couldn’t do enough in the Sunday night game (to be fair it sounds like a lot was being asked of him). Margs move on as the higher seed and we are on to the semis….

ROUND TWO REVIEW

Here’s where it gets fun you guys. First let’s get it out of the way, yea yea I stomped out the Fightin Margs and GOOD fuck them. If i were to say something nice I would say it’s impressive that Mike’s squad always seems to get at least one dub in the playoffs and that shows some genuine uhhh fantasy baseball team constructing chops? (not something you’d want to put on a Tinder profile) But also a few of those playoff victories have come at my own expense and so….yanno….fuck them.

MORE FUN THAN THAT was the Lakehurst Leviathans defeating the Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz HANDILY, 11.5-2.5. Again I remind you, while Doch was on his 2.5 year reign of terror as back-to-back-to-halfback champion of this league Shane’s squad was putting together last place-type finishes and just looking generally bad. And now it’s 2021 and the world is irreparably damaged and the Leviathans are ROLLIN BAYBAY. As for Doch, what can I really say about him that hasn’t already been said no matter how horrible. Things that even the people he thinks “love” him (if such a creature could truly warrant love) say behind his back, and often. Ultimately the BDSliderz put together one truly dominant season in 2019 but managed to sandwich championships around that season as the 6 seed in both the 2018 and the (barely worth actually counting) 2020 seasons and that is something that he can cling to on cold and lonely nights (of which I’m sure there are many). The injury bug may have bit a bit too hard this season, or maybe he got LUCKY to sneak into the playoffs in 2018 and then LUCKY to find a trade partner so willing to build up his fellow Sean’s roster. Or maybe it’s alway a bit of a luck/skill hybrid where it’s tough to tell which had more to do with it. Like poker or drunk driving. ANYWHO rest in piss, Butt Sliderz (plz note: IRL I find Doch to be a generally pleasant young man his stupid stacked team just needed to stop winning, and now it has, and now we can begin to heal our relationship and I think I see some great things in our future 🙂 )

BCS PREVIEW

And so now we have the #1 seed Lakehurst Leviathans (14-4) vs. the #2 seed Island Beach Bears (12-4-2) for allll the marbles. Wheeler vs. Musgrove. India vs. Semien. etc. etc. you get the idea. For Shane, he’s seeking to fully complete the turnaround and enter an exclusive group of Backyard champeens. For myself, it’s the seeking of a FOURTH championship (absolutely nobody disputes this) but the first without my POC PIC. A victory for Shane invites added and unneeded scrutiny into the Commish’s EXTREMELY SUSPECT Nolan Arenado trade. A victory for myself invites the possibility I choose to “retire on top” (don’t worry I could also choose to “retire in shame” if I lose it’s an option either way). One thing is for certain and that’s this: Surely everyone will be watching this matchup closely, edge of their seats nail-biting type stuff, and surely this “blog post” won’t be chock full of errors and weird formatting issues despite being written on an iPhone, and surely I’m going to think of a nice way to wrap this thing up just in case it’s the last post I ev

2021 SEASON/POSTSEASON REVIEW & BCS PREVIEW: Ding Dong The *Witch Is Dead Edition

2021 Early Season Power Rankings

Yay for content! It’s about time someone did it anyway. See above as I have updated the season long records to reflect, ya know, the actual season going on, NOT 2019. And since we didn’t have a pre-season power rankings you’ll have to just let me do what I do. Don’t like how I do it? Too freakin bad, do it yourself then. I’ll be doing them in reverse order because that’s how I do things.

#10 Toms River Swamp Rats

2021 Record: 1-4

League Leading: 3B (T-1st)

League Worst: Runs, HR, CG (only team without one)

Team MVP: Jack Flaherty (5 W, 4 QS, 3.15 ERA, 36 K (in 34.1 IP)

It’s a rebuilding year for the Swamp Rats and it shows in the record. There are signs of life after a week 3 win over the Topes, but being in the bottom half of just about every statistical category isn’t gonna do you any favors in these here rankings.

#9 Rojo’s Renegade Force

2021 Record: 1-4

League Leading: None

League Worst: 2B, K

Team MVP: Shohei Ohtani (24 R, 8 2B, 2 3B, 9 HR, 21 RBI, 6 SB, .322 OBP)

While the week 2 victory over Island Beach in and of itself was impressive, the other four weeks have not been as much, including an opening week shutout (12-0-2) to the Slugs. Ohtani is doing Ohtani things but the rest of the lineup, when it’s set, isn’t carrying it’s weight.

#8 Astoria Isotopes

2021 Record: 1-4

League Leading: HLD

League Worst: SV, W, SB

Team MVP: Nolan Arenado (6 HR, 23 RBI, .340 OBP)

The Topes are gonna need to beat more than the previous team to earn a higher spot in these rankings. They are in the top half of most offensive categories, so there could be some positive regression.

#7 Ocean Gate Fishing Club

2021 Record: 2-3

League Leading: 2B, SV

League Worst: None

Team MVP: Kris Bryant (13 2B, 9 HR, 22 RBI, 1 SB, .397 OBP

Bryant is having a huge year and Trout is Trout, but they can’t do it alone on offense. The team is middling overall with a bat in hand and while the pitching has been excellent, hitting counts just as much, which is why they land in this spot.

#6 East Coast Mambas

2021 Record: 3-2

League Leading: None

League Worst: 3B, RBI

Team MVP: Carlos Rodon (4 W, 3 QS, 1 CG, 0.69 ERA, 35 K (in 26 IP)

The top of the rotation has done well and kept them in most weeks, but the offense needs a boost, being in the bottom half of every category on the year. Both losses have been to 1-loss teams.

#5 Lacey Township Backdoor Sliderz

2021 Record: 2-3

League Leading: QS

League Worst: HLD

Team MVP: Ronald Acuna Jr. (29 R, 10 HR, 22 RBI, 5 SB, .409 OBP)

The defending champs have had an overall tough schedule so far and are doing okay on the year with the counting stats. Despite the losing record, you earn some respect until proven otherwise, but losses to team’s above them keep their rating where it is.

#4 Barnegat Banana Slugs

2021 Record: 4-1

League Leading: 3B (T-1st) CG, W (T-1st)

League Worst: OBP

Team MVP: Vlad Guerrero Jr (7 HR, 23 RBI, .447 OBP)

Despite a downright ugly OBP the offense has been humming along as is the pitching, which is no worse than 4th in any stat on the year. A loss to the next team keeps them here.

#3 Lakehurst Leviathans

2021 Record: 4-1

League Leading: Runs, RBI

League Worst: ERA, QS

Team MVP: J.D. Martinez (10 2B, 10 HR, 31 RBI, .427 OBP)

Yea, I know I’ll get some shit for putting MYSELF here, but with only one loss, argue against it. Top 4 in every offensive category and at least middling pitching rankings (except that ugly ass ERA) MAYBE THIS IS THE YEAR they actually EARN a playoff spot.

#2 Island Beach Bears

2021 Record: 3-2

League Leading: OBP (T-1st)

League Worst: None

Team MVP: Nick Castellanos (24 R, 8 2B, 9 HR, 22 RBI, .357 OBP)

Despite having a worse record than a couple of teams below it, the Bears are near the top in most categories and beating the #1 team will earn you some sway around here.

#1 River City Fightin’ Margs

2021 Record: 4-1

League Leading: HR, OBP (T-1st) W (T-1st) Ks, ERA

League Worst: None

Team MVP: Giancarlo Stanton (he’t not hurt!!) JUST KIDDING IT’S Corbin Burnes (2 W, 4 QS, 1.53 ERA, 49 K (in 29.1 IP) and STILL 0 BB

It was actually difficult to pick a team MVP here, which says a lot about why this team is ranked #1 right now. Top 5 at least in every pitching category and top 3 in almost all offensive ones make an easy case for this spot. A tough loss to a tough opponent and quality wins (except T haha) put the Margs firmly in the one spot for now.

2021 Early Season Power Rankings

2021 Minors Expansion

Hello fellas.

As has been discussed ad nauseum to some degree during the off-season, it’s become clear that just about everyone is hungry for more. More prospects. More minor leaguers. So more we shall have. Sometime tomorrow, 1/20/21, I will add 3 minor league slots to everyone’s teams and place everyone on waivers, the same as last year.

That said, there has also been discussion that more is too much. It’s been a mixed bag so we will have a league wide vote (see, I care) about contracting the amount on bench spots we have in our roster. At present, there are 12 spots. So, sometime this weekend, we will vote on either keeping it the same, or cutting one or two reserves.

Also on the docket, it has been discussed about fiddling with the starting roster. It has been proposed that the 1B/3B spot and 2B/SS spot be condensed into one INF slot and a DH spot be added. I would like to wait until the NL rules on the DH rule for 2021 before voting. If they strike it down, perhaps an additional UTIL spot instead. Who knows? It’s something that does need to be discussed and will be, in time.

That’s all for now. Forgive the shitty editing and lack of fun images, but I had to do it on my cellular telephone or put doing this off YET AGAIN.

2021 Minors Expansion

BACKYARDBRACKET2020: BCS REVIEW & WHAT COMES NEXT FOR BACKYARDVIEWS

FIRSTLY LET ME BE FAIR…

and congratulate the Lacey Township Backdoor Sliderz for winning an IMPRESSIVE and NEARLY UNPRECEDENTED 2.5 BCS Titles in a row. 0.5 BCS Titles from tying the all-time in-a-row record with a chance to overtake that in a theoretical 2021 season that we will theoretically be having in the Backyard. It is absolutely impressive what the Lacey contingent has accomplished in their first 2.5 seasons. Even though it came via a tie (thanks to a SIX inning 5 ER CG, no less) to an “8th seed” team that shouldn’t have been allowed in the Bracket. Even though that was how it all went down. The Backdoor Sliderz are clearly the best roster in the Backyard and somehow that’s allowed them to win 2.5 titles in a row, which is I dunno good I guess. It’s like having pocket aces and not getting fucked on the river or something, I guess? 2.5 hands in a row. And there’s nothing I can say here that can change that. And to attempt to say more would be to have to write more words and I’ve already planned a BUNCHA words for the finale down there so let’s just MOVE ON, BRIEFLY TOUCH ON THE BCS MATCHUP, BRIEFLY TOUCH ON THIS BLOG’S UNCERTAIN FUTURE, WORK IN SOME MORE CAPS LOCK AND PARENTHESES AND BE DONE WITH THE 2020 FANTASY BASEBALL SEASON. Sounds like an excellent plan. (ONWARD…..)

#8 Astoria Isotopes

DEFEATED VIA TIEBREAKBER BY THE PIECES OF SHIT BELOW THIS SENTENCE…

#6 Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz

7-7

[BRACKET MVP — Freddie Freeman] (he did alotta good stuff the whole Backyard Bracket go look it up if you don’t believe me)

BCS MVP — Juan Soto (6 Rs, 2 2Bs, 2 HRs, 5 RBIs, 3 SBs, .571 OBP

BCS LVP — Paul DeJong (2 Rs, 1 2B, 1 RBI, .200 OBP

WHAT WENT RIGHT — Backdoor Sliderz:

Aaron Nola grabbed a hideous 6 inning “CG”…..the Braves kept on fucking hitting…..5 gents with 5 RBIs (Freeman, Soto, Albies, Bregman, Will Smith for some reason) and 4 gents with 4 RBIs (Brandon Lowe, Tatis Jr., Teoscar Hernandez, Maikel Franco) and boom you’ve out-RBI’d the ‘Topes bats with only 9 gents…..24 Ks outta deGrom…..

WHAT WENT WRONG — Isotopes

Aaron Nola grabbed a hideous 6 inning “CG”…..sub-40 Rs & RBIs isn’t a GREAT sign of your team offense clicking, I guess, I dunno…..6 SBs is enough to win a lot of weeks but NOT THIS WEEK, cuz yanno the LTBS had 10 and all…..pretty bleh K numbers if you ask me…..

This one was ULTIMATELY a valiant-ish effort from the ‘Topes, but with Arenado out the offense could not keep pace with the……Braves basically. A 3 Save Sunday scored them the tie and makes that disgusting CG a hard pill to swallow, but hey these things happen. Next time find a disgusting CG of your own.

WHAT’S NEXT

What’s next for the league or whatfuckingever? I imagine it will continue and I imagine I will continue to be in it. Which is okay I guess. Either way on that one, tbh, but what I’m really interested in opining about is what’s next for this horrifically named blog.

When I started this blog in 2015 I wante….jkjkjk I didn’t start this fucking thing, Mike did. Hence the ridiculous name. I think there was another wordpress named “Backyard Views” or “Views From The Backyard” or some shit and it was just filled with bad poetry, and honestly I prefer that one. ANYWHO, BEHOLD Mike’s first post:

“Oh hey guys.

This site is here to continue with the overwhelming information stream that we already have for our fantasy baseball page, and life in general. I’ve been thinking about making this for a while, mostly to track some of the happenings on the site, and really to give everyone a forum to post, well, anything they want really. Mainly we will focus this thing on the fantasy baseball page, but hey, go nuts with whatever you’d like.

Please note: This will be a good storage site for all of our favorite stories, rankings, T’d Up episodes, Trade Block discussions, etc.

There’s also an app, so maybe it’ll be good. I’ll check it out and let you know.

Feel free to make an account and post something. Ya know.

Lobman”

Wow wouldjya look at that Mike was even sort of ENCOURAGING poetry to be posted on here, is how I read that. Can’t believe Brian continues to let that opportunity go to waste.

ANYWHO when I look at that post now there’s a picture of an enlarged prostate just below it (“Urologist: Enlarged Prostate? Do This Immediately (Try Tonight), and that feels pretty fucking fitting here. This thing has gotten a bit longgggg in the tooth, as have I, and we’ve grown together…..me and this thing. Both for the worse. I’m FAR TOO indispensable a County employee to continue to hastily bang out reviews whilst @ work, and also FAR TOO busy being fucking cool (or napping or drinking or something) when not @ work so it’s tough to say…..what the future holds…..for this blog. Also, if I’m being perfectly honest WordPress’ new format fucking sucks a spiky one. I am DISGUSTED by the spacing on these latter posts of mine and I have no plans to learn how to properly format these things, and the blog deserves better. Deserves better spacing. Deserves better effort all around.

There’s a temptation to Viking Funeral this thing but also that sorta defeats the purpose of whatever it was I was attempting to do this year, by putting out shitty reviews of the Backyard Bracket and such. So it stands as some sort of historical record. And PERHAPS there’s some sort of collaborative effort to reclaim its glory as something capable of making an owner quit the league, but the key word there is “collaborative” and you’re all lazy fucks so uhhhh….yea. BASICALLY I’m just saying this thing might get pretty dusty in the 2021 fantasy season (I guess we are gonna have one of those?) and this is me making peace with that. If this is my last post my only regret is not saying meaner things about Dochney in it. Cuz

FUCK

THAT

GUY

#BlogForever #BearForever

BACKYARDBRACKET2020: BCS REVIEW & WHAT COMES NEXT FOR BACKYARDVIEWS

BACKYARDBRACKET2020: HELLSCAPE YEAR’S APPROPRIATELY MAILED IN (AND LATE) ROUND TWO REVIEW/BCS PREVIEW

THE GIF REFERS TO…

both me writing up another one of these and this RECYCLED BCS matchup from two years ago, but we shall get to that in due time. Probably a lot quicker than it usually takes to get to that. Anywho ONCE AGAIN I am here to do my due diligence and put together something I plan on nobody reading. Just to capture a moment in time yanno? This must be what it is like to be a “Soundcloud rapper”…..welp we are down to our final two and it’s a familiar final two, with one of them being VERY familiar to the BCS as of late. So that’s…..I don’t want to call it an “accomplishment” but that’s something. It’d be more of an accomplishment if you fuckers ponied up and added a small cash prize to this slog, like I suggested years ago (particularly now that you’re all “degenerate gamblers,” but I digress. Let’s see how we got here, ONWARD…..

#2 Ocean Gate Fishing Club

DEFEATED BY

#8 Astoria Isotopes

9-5

WHAT WENT RIGHT — TOPES:

A couple of schmucks (Wainwright & Minor) put together those cute 7 IP CGs and those ended up being the difference, really…..4 measley SBs were enough to win that cat by 1…..the Fishing Club had a sub-40 RBI week which I’ve now decided is some sort of arbitrary cutoff for good vs. bad RBI weeks…..probably most importantly on the offense side was DJ LeMahieu being a man possessed (9 Rs, 4 2Bs, 4 HRs, 10 RBIs, .516 OBP)

WHAT WENT WRONG — Fishing Club

None of their schmucks were able to throw 7 IP CGs…..only 3 SBs from a team that used to steal more bases, LOOKIN AT YOU Trea Turner…..sub-40 RBIs and sub-30 Rs aren’t great….. on 10 HRs feels a little light…..a few fellas (Sano, Solak, Grossman) put up some ugly OBP numbers to drag down the team OBP, below the other team’s OBP…..somehow tied in QS even though they put up a 2.73 ERA and the ‘Topes put up a 4.41…..

#4 Barnegat Banana Slugs

DEFEATED BY

#6 Lacey Township Backdoor Sliderz

9.5-4.5

WHAT WENT RIGHT — LTBS

The Braves offense was once again fairly murderous…..got 7 RBIs outta Keston Hiura somehow…..got the victory in the Ks cat even with deGrom exiting his start early…..but chyea those Braves have just been murder for like a month…..

WHAT WENT WRONG — Slugs

They failed to grab a 2nd (and then ideally 3rd) Hold and they ran into a Butt Sliderz offense that was HAWT, that’s pretty much it folks…..OBP and RBIs were a little low (you can sort of blame Adalberto & Vladito for both) but why nitpick…..

BCS PREVIEW

#6 Lacey Township Backdoor Sliderz

vs.

#8 Astoria Isotopes

OVERVIEW:

It’s 2018 all over again folks, only THIS TIME the world is a smidge more hell-ish. Which I think is reflected here. The LTBS are the 6 seed once again but THIS TIME they’re facing a ‘Topes team that was the 8th seed and has no business being here, and also THIS TIME it is Doch’s 3rd straight BCS appearance and threatens to be his 3rd straight title (if he wins this sentence will be altered to delegitimize said title don’t worry). GUESS WE WILL SEE WHAT HAPPENS OR WHATEVER

GUYS™ TO WATCH:

BATS BATTLE — DJ LeMahieu (‘Topes) vs. Freddie Freeman (LTBS)

It’s the BCS so it’s going to come down to BEST vs. BEST and in this case we are referring to the two best hitters since the calendar hit September 1, and that’s been Freeman and LeMahieu for the whole LEAGUE if the “score” thing is to be believed. Unfortunately Acuna Jr. is third in that metric and I don’t know how he isn’t second, that metric is a bit of a mystery (also fellow ATL/LTBS Adam Duvall is 5th which just shows you how ridiculous those dumb Braves have been) so the ‘Topes will have to contend with THAT. But yea DJ will need to stay hawt and then maybe the ‘Topes hope law of averages cools down the Braves O a bit.

ARMED CONFLICT — German Marquez (‘Topes) vs. Jacob deGrom (LTBS)

SOMEHOW the two Coors pitchers are the ‘Topes best QS options, they both go twice this week but Marquez is the one that provides a bunch more Ks and ALSO the one that’s already went and given them a QS on Monday. They will seek another this weekend and ideally two from his counterpart (KYLE FREELAND, not sure why I was treating him as if he was in WITSEC). For the Butt Sliderz, they’ll get deGrom twice this week and he’s already gotten things popped off with a 7 IP 2 ER 14 K performance Monday evening. Thank GOODNESS that wasn’t a doubleheader or else the ‘Topes would have really been smartin’. But yea the LTBS are about as set up as they could as for in the finale between two deGrom starts and two from Aaron Nola INCLUDING a doubleheader start this very evening (ahem….. CG alert). So maybe I should have gone with Nola. And if I wrote this before that 14K game I probably would have but I didn’t and now I’ve written too much to go back and change it. Let’s move on.

PREDICTION:

Those who don’t learn from history are something something something, let the history teachers finish that one. But yea I would be a FOOL to not expect the LTBS to continue their run, and I am no fool, so that is what I expect them to do. Shall start writing the post that dismisses this as a legit 3peat now. Backdoor Sliderz WIN IT ALL AGAIN, 8-6

BACKYARDBRACKET2020: HELLSCAPE YEAR’S APPROPRIATELY MAILED IN (AND LATE) ROUND TWO REVIEW/BCS PREVIEW

BACKYARDBRACKET2020: HELLSCAPE YEAR’S APPROPRIATELY CHAOTIC (AND LATE) OPENING ROUND REVIEW/ROUND TWO PREVIEW

I CANNOT…

Stress enough, how little interest I have in pretending to care about the outcomes of these fucking things. AND YET…I feel I must capture them in time on the internet, until the Earth is swallowed up by the sun or we delete the blog or whatever. Maybe I’m just sour about incorrectly predicting 3 outta the 4 matchups. But NO I think I’m just over “blogging” as an art form. But so YEA this thing is on hospice, nobody should even read this, we are just going to bang it out for reasons unclear to even myself. ONWARD…..

#1 River City Fightin’ Margs

DEFEATED BY

#8 Astoria Isotopes

9-5

WHAT WENT RIGHT — TOPES:

3 Dongs for Matt Olson…..got some triples and the other team did not get any…..6 QS despite a fairly MEH 4.41 ERA…..6 Holds to grab that cat in a particularly contested Holds matchup…..just seemed to do justttt enough to grab cats or tie cats where the Margs put up solid numbers (SBs comes to mind, tied 8-8)…..

WHAT WENT WRONG — Margs

39 RBIs on 10 HRs feels a little light…..a few fellas (Sano, Solak, Grossman) put up some ugly OBP numbers to drag down the team OBP, below the other team’s OBP…..somehow tied in QS even though they put up a 2.73 ERA and the ‘Topes put up a 4.41…..

#2 Ocean Gate Fishing Club

DEFEAT

#7 Rojo’s Renegade Force

9-5

WHAT WENT RIGHT — OGFC

Two CGs and only ONE of them was the bullshit 7 IP variety (Gerrit Cole), Luis Castillo manned up and went the full 9…..managed to tie in 4 cats (2Bs, HRs, QS, Ws)…..got triples when the opponent didn’t get triples…..2 QS outta Kyle Hendricks…..all of a sudden the RRF were a team that DIDN’t get any Holds…..

WHAT WENT WRONG — RRF

Apparently they abandoned the Holds strategy at some point…..Alec Mills‘ 9 inning no-hitter wasn’t allowed to count for 2 CGs…..they only got to 11 starts which may have made ALL THE DIFFERENCE (but no probably not)(but close)…..

#3 Island Beach Bears

DEFEATED BY

#6 Lacey Township Backdoor Sliderz

9.5-4.5

WHAT WENT RIGHT — LTBS

The Braves offense was absolutely murderous for most of the week (7 Rs, 3 HRs, 13 RBIs, .571 OBP for Freddie Freeman, for example)…..some inconsistent rookie pitchers were fairly consistent (2.94 team ERA)…..bullpen contributed 3 Ws (and the team had NINE total)…..lots o’ Ks…..

WHAT WENT WRONG — Bears

All attempts to use the bullpens on doubleheaders imploded in their face with shitty relievers blowing Hold opps…..ostensibly good relievers also blew leads (6 ER in 2.1 IP for Kenley Jansen)…..Nicholas Castellanos stopped being good a few months ago (.192 OBP)…..

#4 Barnegat Banana Slugs

DEFEAT

#5 East Coast

12.5-1.5

WHAT WENT RIGHT — Slugs

MOST things, the offense was really cookin’ with 62 RBIs despite a so-so (but good enough to win the cat) .326 OBP…..9 Ws and 97 Ks outta the staff is really good…..getting 9 RBIs outta Alec Bohm is really good…..getting EIGHT out of Adalberto Mondesi (14 total for the year now) is really good…..Adalberto also out-stole the opponent 6 to 4, which is really good…..they hit more triples than their opponent…..they just did really good, good job…..

WHAT WENT WRONG — East Coast

uhhhh paltry K numbers…..mediocre RBI total despite an above-mediocre R total…..a few sub-.300 OBP fellas (Baez, Correa, Hoskins, Happ, McMahon) dragged down the bunch a bit too much…..starting Rick Porcello maybe cost them the ERA cat…..

ROUND TWO PREVIEW

#2 Ocean Gate Fishing Club

vs.

#8 Astoria Isotopes

OVERVIEW:

CHILDHOOD FRIENDS BATTLE (I think?) Both of these losers are the idiots that allowed the LTBS to win these past two years (I think?) and now one of them may be tasked with allowing him to do it again. Hard to root for either of these teams but especially hard to root for that city slicker fuck whose too good to SLUM IT in NJ for his friend’s children’s birthday parties. So fuck him go Fishing Club (I think?)

GUYS™ TO WATCH:

BATS BATTLE — Josh Bell (OGFC) vs. DJ LeMahieu (‘Topes)

This is entirely based on what’s already happening, which is DJ is on fucking fire (6 Rs, 3 2Bs, 3 HRs, 8 RBIs, .571 OBP). So uhhhh yea, Josh Bell should try to close the gap a bit in the 1B battle. Is my analysis. I am truly phoning this in so what do you want from me, me.

ARMED CONFLICT — Shane Bieber (OGFC) vs. Mike Minor (‘Topes)

Shane Bieber could realllllly do the Fishing Club a solid by grabbing a LEGIT CG, like a man, against the Tigers. And that is because the ‘Topes already got a helluva start out of their old friend Mike Minor (7 IP “CG” shutout dub with 8 Ks) to give them a commanding 2-0 lead in the all of a sudden juicy CGs category (cuz of these aforementioned doubleheaders), so that was helpful. And they’ll hope he gives them another solid start on Sunday.

PREDICTION:

The CGs give the Isotopes a nice early leg up but I’m going to suggest here that the Fishing Club prevails because fuck Mikey T I haven’t seen the guy in 8 months. Fishing Club advances, 7.5-6.5

#4 Barnegat Banana Slugs

vs.

#6 Lacey Township Backdoor Sliderz

OVERVIEW:

WELL I didn’t do my part (which I shouldn’t have been expected to quite frankly, haven’t won a playoff matchup in yearrrrrrrrz) so it’s now up to Barnegat to hault the Backdoor Sliderz march towards a third straight championship (which I’d then have to unfortunately note as illegitimate. If the Slugs have an offensive showing like they did in Round 1 I wouldn’t put it past them. If the Braves keep acting like Murderers Row that gets trickier. There’s also PITCHING in these fantasy baseball weeks. So we’ll see how the pitching goes I guess.

GUYS™ TO WATCH:

BATS BATTLE — Luke Voit (BBS) vs. Freddie Freeman (LTBS)

Luke Voit is still powering the Slugs offense (3 HRs, 8 RBIs already this week) so this matchup makes ALL THE SENSE. Last week Freddie Freeman was an absolute murderer so if Voit can outpace him this week that’d be nice. Real nice for the Slugs.

ARMED CONFLICT — Trevor Bauer (BBS) vs. Aaron Nola (LTBS)

Trevor Bauer is in many ways a person that shouldn’t be allowed to use the internet but BOY can he pitch this season, and the Slugs will get two starts out of him and the first one was a beaut (12 Ks). Another double digit K perfromance would be a nice boost. Speaking of double digit K performances, Aaron Nola has 4 of them this year including 10 in each of his last two starts. So he can be a real sonuvabitch like that. GOOD ARMED CONFLICT HERE.

PREDICTION:

This is one part noting the LTBS are good, one part wanting to annoy the Slugs, and one part acknowledging my prediction is more of a curse than anything. LTBS advances 9-5

THERE ANOTHER ONE ETCHED INTO THE PYRAMIDS OF HISTORY. OR SOMETHING.

BACKYARDBRACKET2020: HELLSCAPE YEAR’S APPROPRIATELY CHAOTIC (AND LATE) OPENING ROUND REVIEW/ROUND TWO PREVIEW

BACKYARDBRACKET2020: HELLSCAPE YEAR’S APPROPRIATELY CHAOTIC (AND LATE) OPENING ROUND PREVIEW

That blurry outline of a thing is what it’s allllll about folks (trophy’s actual location currently unknown?)

That’s right “OPENING ROUND”

Because I refuse to acknowledge the “Wild Card Weekend” as actual ~playoffs~ there was a win-less team in there for fucks sake. Also because this “preview” is late enough already so put two and two together. This is going to be appropriately half-assed because it’s been a half-assed sort of year and also I AM LOCKED IN. So let’s get this shit over with…..

#1 River City Fightin’ Margs

vs.

#8 Astoria (LIARS) Isotopes

OVERVIEW:

FINALLY a sense of normalcy in a broken world. In fact I was at Margs HQ POOLSIDE the other day and I do believe ownership implied the Margs winning this matchup might save lives or something? Aanywho the Margs returned to prominence in a big way by rebounding from an out-of-the-bracket finish in the ’19 season to the top seed in this weird gotdamned ’20 season. Their reward is a date with the team from Astoria that we all know full fucking well no longer resides in Astoria. If I can work in the POINTS SYSTEM early here uhhh the Margs lead the league at 101.5 points and the ‘Topes were 7th at 71.5 points and that is perhaps why the Margs had 5 more wins. They’ll look for another win against a longtime playoff foe in their first taste of Fantrax Bracket Action.

GUYS™ TO WATCH

BATS BATTLE — Manny Machado (Margs) vs. Nolan Arenado (‘Topes)

As these two Handsome Hot Corner Hotties go, often their teams’ respective offenses tend to follow. Last year it was Machado struggling to a pretty mediocre 108 wRC+ (LOOK IT UP) while Arenado was his same old self (plus a career high BA and OBP), but this “year” (all 40 fucking games of it) it’s Arenado that is struggling (88 wRC+) while Machado is hitting arguably the best he ever has (career high 149 wRC+, I’m just going to make all of these wRC+ get fucking used to it).

ARMED CONFLICT — Corbin Burnes (Margs) vs. Tyler Mahle (‘Topes)

The late start on this preview allowed me to sort of cheat but I SWEAR I selected Burnes vs. Mahle prior to their starts. Okay prior to Burnes’ start. And my thinking there was as follows: ‘Topes get a two start week out of a weirdly high-strikeout Tyler Mahle, so if you’re the Margs you’re hoping for somebody to at least MATCH Mahle’s Monday output (a 7 inning QS with 3 ER and 10 Ks). And then you hope the next Mahle start is dogshit, which is certainly possible (cuz it’s still Tyle Mahle). ANYWHO Burnes was able to do that on Wednesday afternoon and then some (7 inning QS/W with 0 ER and 11 Ks). So that’s what you want to see. If you’re the Margs. In your Armed Conflict®.

PREDICTION:

The River City franchise has longggg been a tough out in the first round. Which is what this is. Margs over ‘Topes, 8.5-5.5

#2 Ocean Gate Fishing Club

yanno what Brian worked really hard on logos so you’re getting your old logos you FUCKS
vs.

#7 Rojo’s Renegade Force

OVERVIEW:

The Ocean Gate Fishing Club enter this year’s dance as the #2 seed, but I mean that’s a game away from nearly being the #5 seed so WHO GIVES A FUCK. The POINTS SYSTEM paints a rosier picture however, as they easily clock in at 2nd place with 97.5 POINTS which is 8 POINTS higher than the #3. Higher points are better here. And on the flip side you have the Renegade Force which had 66 points, which is a very low total, but not so low that they were gunning for a seed in the top 6 (aka THE ACTUAL PLAYOFFS YOU CLOWNS) til just about the bitter end. They came up a bit short, but they also got to face that guy Guy who just put together the sort of season we burned Cliff at the stake for. So now the RRF are cursed to continue on, in a matchup with Heroy that’s pretty rivalry-free as best I can tell. Which is a shame because Rojo has said lots of terrible things to me about Heroy’s wife and child and I’ve just never told Heroy about them. So I blame myself here.

GUYS™ TO WATCH:

BATS BATTLE — Mike Trout (OGFC) vs. Kyle Tucker (RRF)

On paper this “battle” feels sort of ridiculous, Mike Trout is the best plaer in baseball and Kyle Tucker is not. But look under the hood and Kyle Tucker has been all SORTS of valuable this year, mostly because the Astros gave him whatever Magic Triples Elixir they gave to Evan Gattis that one year. So Kyle has 6 of them triples on the year and another one (or two) in this matchup would be HELPFUL. Or HURTFUL if you subscribe to the theory that Rojo wants no part of winning this week. Which I do. So it’s HURTFUL.

ARMED CONFLICT — Zac Gallen (OGFC) vs. Hyun Jin Ryu (RRF)

This Zac Gallen character is all of a sudden a bonafide STUD, which is unfortunate because Heroy owns him and he will squander the talent. And then you have Hyun Jin Ryu who was pretty excellent last year, and had regression written all over him as he moved over to the AL East, but has managed to be pretty darn good this year as well. And both of these fellas get two starts this week and GUESS WHAT both of their first starts came on Monday and neither did a great job. So let’s see if they do a better job next time. That may help dictate things yanno?

PREDICTION:

My prediction is that Rojo’s will to lose outshines Heroy’s will to fuck up. Fishing Club advances, 9.5-4.5

#3 Island Beach Bears

vs.

#6 Lacey Township Backdoor Sliderz

This is the second fuck alluded to below Heroy’s logo…

OVERVIEW:

In many ways, this matchup is for the VERY SOUL of the Backyard. The Island Beach Bears, the reluctant voice of this league/probably his generation (just hasn’t written a book yet) versus the Lacey Township Backdoor Sliderz, B2B BCS Champ and league VILLIAN. Nobody has ever won 3 in a row aside from that time I won 3 in a row (or 1.5 in a row if you guys want to be fags about it)(Heroy probably does) and DAMNED if I don’t intend to defend my honor, and Odom’s honor. And the league’s honor. For it is all we all have. The PROBLEM is the Backdoor Sliderz are likely a much better 6 seed than their first go-round as the 6 seed in their league debut, what with their 87.5 POINTS and their top 3 or so dynasty players and whatnot. The Bears on the other hand grabbed the #3 seed despite only amassing 73 POINTS (last I checked, these things change quick it seems) and despite an 0-3 start. They won 5 straight after that start, dropped one, and then won two more to close out the season so that should demonstrate SOME ability to win SOME matchups SOMETIMES. Here’s to hoping this is one of those times. Once again the league’s very soul is at stake you should all be rooting for me.

GUYS™ TO WATCH:

BATS BATTLE — Tim Anderson (Bears) vs. Fernando Tatis Jr. (LTBS)

Fernando Tatis Jr. has turned out to be the crown jewel of the worst trade I’ve ever made (little known fact, I remember a certain text from Odom that was like “it’s Altuve mehhhh” so I blame him a bit) as he’s been ridiculous this season. And just as sadly he’s also ridiculously enjoyable to watch. I LIVE for grand slam dongs on 3-0 counts in blowout games. So it’s a struggle. So it is of small consolation, but consolation all the same, to roster an equally ~fun~ shortstop of our own in TA. His hitting profile leaves a ridiculous floor but he’s ACTUALLY managed to sort of hold his own in the actual stats portion of this battle as well. NO REALLY LOOK AT THE FULL STATS:

Tatis (44 GP, 171 ABs): .310/.407/.655 (180 wRC+), 45 Rs, 10 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 15 HRs, 39 RBIs, 8 SBs

Anderson (32 GP, 136 ABs): .353/.390/.596 (167 wRC+), 35 Rs, 10 2Bs, 1 3B, 7 HRs, 15 RBIs, 5 SBs

ADMIT IT, closer than you’d think……and that shall likely need to remain the same this week.

ARMED CONFLICT — Sixto Sanchez (Bears) vs. Jacob deGrom (LTBS)

Certain members of the Backyard loveeeee posting shit about their young pitchers in the GC and for that reason you should all be THANKING me. Sixto Sanchez has been the best young pitcher out there and it hasn’t been particularly close and I shudder to think what the chat would be right now if he was on certain rosters. 25-2 K-BB PEOPLE. ANYWHO the Bears will have him for two starts this week, first one went swell (6 scoreless, QS/W, 6 Ks) and they’ll gladly take a repeat performance over the weekend. And even WITH that repeat performance the hope is that adds up to a few more Ks than deGrom racks up in his one start (13.13 Ks/9). Jacob racks up alotta Ks and throws the ball really hard. But Sixto throws it pretty hard too 😉

PREDICTION: This league has been terrorized by the Butt Sliderz for FAR TOO LONG. Like one entire year, where they terrorized the entire league and only lost once (to me). And then the previous year where they snuck into the 6th seed and won the championship like bastards. And then now here they are, 6th seed a-fucking-gain. YES they’ve won the championship two years in a row. But doing it three years in a row is really hard. So… BEARS SLAY THE DRAGON, 8-6

#4 Barnegat Banana Slugs

vs.

#5 East Coast

close enough…

OVERVIEW:

This one’s the long-winded chat post replete with *laugh crying emoji* versus the occasional GIF dropped into the chat out of nowhere. The guy I would never ever pick to win the championship because it’s more fun not to versus the guy I picked to win the championship but not because we are related. The Slugs are probably a tad peeved to have fallen all the way down to the 4 seed, with their 90.5 POINTS and all. But that’s life in the NFL and also life in a strange 11 “matchup” season. Fortunately their counterparts can empathize, as the East Coast franchise was in first place last time I wrote about this godforsaken fucking league and here they’re the 5th seed. But it’s the Backyard Bracket Baybay (I know because James Paxton is hurt) so both of you buck up.

GUYS™ TO WATCH:

BATS BATTLE — Luke Voit (BBS) vs. Nelson Cruz (EC)

SURE I could have made this about MI “stars” like Story & Lindor but uhhh I didn’t fucking wanna, so I didn’t. This one’s gonna be about the BIG BOPPERS. THE DONG DADDIEZ. THESE TWO GUYS. Luke Voit has managed to maintain the GAINZ from last year, in fact he’s increased his slugging percentage from .468 in ’19 to .SIXOHFOUR in ’20. Which is pretty dang good. But a number that’s better than that number is .SIX EIGHTY FIVE and that’s what Nelson Cruz is slugging these days, tops in the majors (Trout in 2nd at .671). Nelson is ageless and Luke is singlehandedly holding the Yankees offense together with glue and masking tape, and both of these boppers operate out of their respective teams Utility spots and I think it will be important for one of them to hit better than the other one this round. Cruz with the early advantage in Dongs 2-1, due to Doubleheader Dongs. But PLENTY OF ABs TO GO (which is why it’s okay for this preview to come out now)(go fuck yourselves)

ARMED CONFLICT — Max Scherzer (BBS) vs. Sonny Gray (EC)

If the Slugs were gonna set their rotation they’d likely set it for Mad Max to get two starts this week and that is PRECISELY what they’re getting. And Max has already given them one great start (7 scoreless, QS/W, 8 Ks) and you gotta figure he’s fixing to give them another one on Sunday. Maybe. So if you’re ~East Coast~ you’re going to need one of your best K guys to come out and match that sorta performance and the PROBLEM with Sonny is his last start came on 9/1 and he got 2 outs and gave up 6 runs. So then they skipped him once through the rotation. So now East Coast fans have to hope that mental refresher pays dividends and he comes out guns blazing Thursday.

PREDICTION:

Can’t back off that Pre-Season Prediction now baybay, East Coast advances 7.5-6.5

BACKYARDBRACKET2020: HELLSCAPE YEAR’S APPROPRIATELY CHAOTIC (AND LATE) OPENING ROUND PREVIEW