MVP: Jose “EVERYTHING HURTS!!!” Martinez – The X*Rayz managed to pull off the old “win without anyone having a particularly good week on your ENTIRE TEAM” trick which always makes these MVPs a bit dicey. Nobody hit more than 2 dongs, only two guys scored more than 5 runs, nobody pitched all that lights out. BUT Jose Martinez whined his way to a .500+ OBP and a team-high 7 RBIs so he is your MVP here.9/22, 2 Rs, 4 2Bs, 1 HR, 7 RBIs, .519 OBP
LVP:Jose Altuve– Altuve is getting dinged here because of EXPECTATIONS, because again nobody on the BdSliderz was particularly AWFUL in this defeat. But Jose did not do much of anything except for a few empty singles and a pair of walks and he is EXPECTED to do more, as he goes so goes the Lacey Twp. The team not the town, the town cannot be salvaged at this point. 7/23, 2 Rs, 1 RBI, .385 OBP
X*Rayz Hitter Of Note: Nice lil week from Billy Hamilton, HIT A DINGER EVEN, and yea if he could get on base a third of the time all the time who even KNOWS how many bags he could steal (5/26, 6 Rs, 1 HR, 2 RBIs, 3 SBs, .333 OBP).
X*Rayz Pitcher Of Note: Miles Mikolasdid kinda okay last week and he looks kinda okay, but maybe just okay and maybe just kinda (13.1 IP, 5 ER, 9 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 3.38 ERA).
BdSliderz Hitter Of Note: Even in defeat, the BdSliderz can take comfort knowing that Ozzie Albies is a beast (10/23, 6 Rs, 5 2Bs, 2 HRs, 5 RBIs, .458 OBP).
BdSliderz Pitcher Of Note: And also Blake Snell SHOWING SIGNS OF LIFE, didn’t even walk a guy in this start which is perhaps a first for him (6 IP, 1 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.50 ERA).
Week 3: X*Rayz v. ‘Topes (1-1 v. 1-1),
BdSliderz @ MW (1-1 @ 0-2)
MVP: Javier Baez – Javy Baez out here FINALLY DOIN SOMETHING, only 5 hits but four of them left the yard and the 5th went for two bases. This matchup was actually rather tight on both sides of the ball so the Warriors ended up needed every last R and every last RBI outta this man. Cuz they won each of those cats by 1. #analysis. 5/20, 6 Rs, 1 2B, 4 HRs, 10 RBIs, 1 SB, .286 OBP
LVP:Brandon Belt– And given the tightness of said offensive cats, Brandon Belt’s big empty OBP week did the QTCMW no favors and helped SPOIL a week in which they really held their own on the pitching side against the vaunted Warriors staff. But yea, offense and stuff. 3/16, 1 R, 1 RBI, .364 OBP
Warriors Hitter Of Note: Andrew Benintendi BITCHED OUT of a possible JROLL by not socking a dinger, like the Red Sawks bitch he is, but yea still a nice weekt (9/21, 4 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 7 RBIs, 1 SB, .500 OBP).
Warriors Pitcher Of Note: Don’t want to alarm anyone but Dylan Bundy is showing some signs of acehood, this is also where I should note that if the Warriors hadn’t got their 12th start cancelled a few times they would have likely topped the all-time Ks record that was set by them way back in 2014 (12.2 IP, 3 ER, 16 Ks, 1 QS, 2.13 ERA).
MW Hitter Of Note: JD Martinez had himself a nice little week and one can surmise from these hitters of note that the Red Sawks offense is doing alright right about now (8/25, 4 Rs, 2 2Bs, 2 HRs, 9 RBIs, .333 OBP).
MW Pitcher Of Note: The poor Morning Wood staff DID THE DAMN THING just to try and keep pace with the Warriors and ended up losing ERA anyways (2.498 to 2.520), but yea nobody for the Bonerz did the damn thing more than Carlos Martinez (13 IP, 1 ER, 15 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 0.69 ERA). (Nice.)
Week 3: Warriors @ Bad Dudes (2-0 @ 1-1, BBOTW ‘cuz I said so)
MW v. BdSliderz (0-2 v. 1-1)
MVP: Paul Goldschmidt – The Renegade Force offense was the best offense in the first week where I actually tally offensive stats, so they are rewarded with a bunch of 2018 records that will likely be broken any week now. But FOR NOW they are all over that offensive record board and Mr. Goldschmidt obviously had a hand in that, as he tends to do.10/24, 8 Rs, 1 2B, 1 3B, 4 HRs, 8 RBIs, .462 OBP
LVP:Nomar Mazara– PRETTY UNINSPIRED STUFF outta Nomar Mazara, has me thinking about what to name it when a guy gets a bunch of ABs but ends up with no counting stats. Perhaps a REYROLL in honor of Rey Ordonez’s counting stat inept rookie season(/career)? We will consider it. 6/21, .286 OBP and das it
RRF Hitter Of Note: Chris Taylor socked 100% of his total 2018 dingers and knocked in 75% of his total 2018 RBIs in Week 2, so heating up folks let’s see if he’s still got it (6/22, 4 Rs, 1 2B, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs, .304 OBP).
RRF Pitcher Of Note: Corey Kluber is v good (8 IP, 0 ER, 13 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 0.00 ERA).
Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note: AJ Pollock managed to lead the Bad Dudes in HRs (tied with Chapman) and RBIs while also having a bad OBP and only 3 hits, so THAT IS INTERESTING MAYBE (3/20, 2 Rs, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs, 1 SB, .182 OBP).
Bad Dudes Pitcher Of Note: And at least, the Bad Dudes have found themselves a Jacob Junis to roster for at least another start or two (11.2 IP, 4 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 3.09 ERA).
Week 3: RRF @ Slugs (2-0 @ 1-1)
Bad Dudes v. Warriors (1-1 v. 2-0, BBOTW)
MVP: Mookie Betts – Mookie Betts had a helluva line while only taking one AB on Saturday and zero ABs on Sunday cuz his footsy wootsy hurtsy wurtsys. so AGAIN, I think the Sawks offense is cooking with gas right now. Firing on all cylinders. Etc. etc. etc. Here’s to hoping they all slump simultaneously as well. 6/18, 8 Rs, 4 2Bs, 1 HR, 8 RBIs, .409
LVP:Ender Inciarte– I mean on the one hand here Ender gave em 2 steals, I MEAN WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ENDER. Probably for Ender to get on base a bit more and score a few runs, I guess. 1/17, 2 SBs, .158 OBP
OGTFC Hitter Of Note: Mike Trout remains really good at baseball, to the point that I am kinda bored of him (8/23, 6 Rs, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs, .467 OBP).
OGTFC Pitcher Of Note: For some reason I always feel like Justin Verlander just had that year where his ERA was like 4.50 two years ago but then I look up and it was actually four years ago and he is actually really good again, our simple and incorrect concept of time is funny like that (15 IP, 1 ER, 20 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 0.60 ERA).
Slugs Hitter Of Note: Howz about DJ LeMahieu with the POWER STROKE, he’s up to 5 HRs when he had 8 all of last season and someone needs to go check if he’s been fucking around with that launch angle swing change balleyhoo (10/30, 6 Rs, 3 2Bs, 3 HRs, 5 RBIs, .355 OBP).
Slugs Pitcher Of Note: Max Scherzer also remains really really good at the kind of baseball he is supposed to be good at, at this point there’s really no line I could read for his week that would shock me with its nastiness he’s the best pitcher in the Backyard folks (16 IP, 2 ER, 21 Ks, 2 QS, 1 CG, 2 Ws, 1.13 ERA).
Week 3: OGTFC v. Babadooks (1-1 v. 0-2)
Slugsv. RRF (1-1 v. 2-0)
2018 WEEK 2 BACKYARD BATTLE OF THE WEEK, SPONSORED BY YARDS BREWING COMPANY
MVP: Mike Moustakas – SICKENINGLY the douche above, I guess giving himself moose horns (?), is the guy that killed me the most in this matchup. Followed closely by the HR GAWD Khris Davis, but yea Moose was all over the Babadooks this week in a depressing matchup where we couldn’t close the gaps we needed to close and come out of it looking like we got beat worse than we probably got beat. So fuck Mike Moustakas. 11/25, 6 Rs, 2 2Bs, 3 HRs, 7 RBIs, .440 OBP
LVP:Edwin Encarnacion– SICKENINGLY have to give this one to Edwin, which always pains me, but he is the guy from my own team that killed me most in this matchup. Followed closely by Lewis Brinson whom is attempting to play himself onto the waiver wire once his eligibility is up. And yanno not counting all the pitchers that got bombed. But yea I think I still have to give this to Edwin 😦 HE REYROLL’D IT. 1/17, .158 OBP
Isotopes Hitter Of Note: I could point out Khris Davis‘s 4 HRs and 7 RBIs but I would rather point out Nolan Arenado did nothing except rip that one triple and get suspended WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO THAT GUY the Isotopes locker room culture is out of control (3/15, 1 2B, 1 3B, .333 OBP).
Isotopes Pitcher Of Note: Two starts from Chris Sale was really all the ‘Topes needed to blow past the MEAGER K numbers from the Babadooks, and also enough to keep their terrible ERA less terrible than mine (11 IP, 2 ER, 16 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.64 ERA).
Babadooks Hitter Of Note: The only joy that I could really take from this matchup was the fact that the throw-in guy from the Arenado trade, Scott Kingery, guy ‘Topes management knew next to nothing about, had the best week of all the players involved in said deal (8/26, 5 Rs, 4 2Bs, 2 HRs, 11 RBIs, .321 OBP).
Babadooks Pitcher Of Note: ALL THE PITCHERS SUCKED, and Alex Wood you’re a dick as well, but I guess from an ERA standpoint Lance McCullers sucked most(3.2 IP, 8 ER, 6 Ks, 19.64 ERA).
This one got BBOTW status as a rivalry game of sorts, the ‘Topes having handed us two of the 3 regular season losses we amassed in 2017 and EVEN SO we still ended up trading them Nolan Arenado. So this was the week where the spoils from the ‘Nado trade came back to batter the Isotopes and uhhhh KINGERY WAS GOOD, Rhys Hoskins WAS OKAY, Cody Bellinger WASN’T TERRIBLE. But none of that mattered because pitching was awful and the team hit its way to a sub .300 OBP and that is just never a good thing. BUT LETS TOUCH ON THE PITCHING THING REAL QUICK. Things were looking kinda sorta okay for the Babadooks heading into Wednesday and then on Wednesday they surrendered 18 ER in 9.1 IP. That stung, and even with ‘Topes pitching sucking a bit themselves the Babadooks never really recovered from that day. Maybe even entered Sunday with a chance to recover but just to extinguish hope quickly Zack Godley went out and gave up 5 in 4 innings. So yea this review was all about us and our failures, SOME PRETTY BAD STARTS FROM SOME PRETTY GOOD PITCHERS IMHO. The Isotopes got a bad start of their own from Jose Quintana but Sale propped up the staff enough, the bats hit enough dingers, Jean Segura and Nado each chipped in three baggers, and when it’s all said and done the Babadooks franchise loses their third straight to the ‘Topes and this one looked pretty ugly. I WANT REVENNNNNNNGE.
In Week 3 the Isotopes will head to Mission Valley looking to take down the defending champions; each team rebounded from a Week 1 defeat to win in Week 2. And on the BCPB side the ‘Dooks will be looking to avoid an ugly 0-3 start when they take on the KINGS of the ugly start, the OceanGate Trout Fishing Club (whom are coming off a nice victory against Barnegat, can’t deny them that).
Before we begin I would like to welcome everyone back to the Backyard blog’s WEEK REVIEWWWWWWS. And welcome you all to the 2018 SEASONNNNNNNN. Give yourselves a round of applause. COUPLE OF QUICK CHANGES:
I am tired of fucking writing about your sometimes uninteresting matchups. Also I want to streamline this format so any old schmuck could review a week if they are feeling randy. So these reviews will be pretty box score-y EXCEPT for the BBOTW.
ON THAT NOTE. Only a true coward would pick his “Backyard Battle of the Week” (NEWER SNAPPIER NAME) after the week has ended and quite frankly I am disgusted with you all for letting me get away with it for this long. From now on that shit gets picked ahead of time, based on personal preference of the review writer. And then that shit is the only shit that gets thoroughly reviewed with paragraphs and stuff.
Some other news and notes….
POWER RANKINGS, I’ve decided those don’t make much sense early in the season. You could argue you already sorta have my preseason Power Rankings with my projected standings, which is what I am arguing right now. Beyond that the first batch is scheduled for beginning of May, followed by rankings top o’ the month for June July and August. So I guess I’ve STREAMLINED that to 4 editions of Power Rankings per season. If anyone is really itching for them in April here feel free to write your own.
ONE LAST NOTE AND THIS IS AN IMPORTANT ONE: MONEY. We all like it, and this league needs to start bringing some in so I can hire someone to proofread things I am too lazy to. Jk that wouldn’t be what it is for BUT I am hereby proposing a $20 buy-in for the Backyard, starting this season, to be paid to the champeen and runner-up and whatnot via Venmo or some shit at the end of the season. I think I’ve already gotten soft verbals from like 7 of you or so, the cash breakdown would be as follows:
$140 – BCS Champ
$40 – BCS Runner-up
$20- Trophy Maintenance (aka to pay for the little plaque thingie to be added each year).
Think about it folks, talk about it amongst yourselves, I think it is a fine idea because the trophy should be paid for each year, but I know change is hard so fully prepared for this idea to go nowhere. But it is a good one.
ALRIGHT I think we are all caught up here let’s get on with this shit. Just to show how zaaaneeeey these changes have become I am just reviewing Week 1 in a random order that I prefer. I reserve the right to review future weeks based on margin of victory though, as was customary in simpler times….
MVP: Patrick Corbin – Patrick Corbin gave the MooniniteZ 12 quality innings in 2017 and in 2018 he came out and gave the Babadooks the fucking BUSINESS. Gotta like what you’re seeing from Patrick Corbin thus far, he’s throwing his slider 45% of the time cuz fuck a fastball.13 IP, 2 ER, 20 Ks, 1 QS, 2 Ws, 1.38 ERA
LVP:Joey Votto– When your team scores the fewest runs/knocks the fewest dongs in the week SOMEONE MUST BE BLAMED so I blame Votto, who somehow scored ZERO times (and pretty much did nothing) in 31 ABs and even more horrifyingly only managed one walk. 7/31, 2 RBIs, .265 OBP
Banana Slugs Hitter Of Note: The Slugs scored the second most runs in all the land in Week 1 and some credit has to go to Brett Gardner there as he’s already up to 10 (10/42, 10 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 HR, 3 RBIs, .347 OBP).
Banana Slugs Pitcher Of Note: The Slugs also EASILY put together the best ERA in all of the Backyard, and narrowly tossed the most Ks, thanks to your Corbins and your Charlie Morton and such and such (12 IP, 0 ER, 13 Ks, 2 QS, 2 Ws, 0.00 ERA).
Babadooks Hitter Of Note: All Smoaks aside Rhys Hoskins was one of the few batters to actually show up for the Babadooks in Week 1 (11/25, 6 Rs, 5 2Bs, 1 HR, 7 RBIs, 2 SBs, .559 OBP).
Babadooks Pitcher Of Note: And then on the pitching side of things Alex Wood and his piss poor velocity accounted for 40% of our total QS EVERYTHING IS FINE THOUGH WE ARE FINE (14 IP, 3 ER, 10 Ks, 2 QS, 1.93 ERA).
MVP: Freddie Freeman – Freddie Freeman remains really good, not sureeee what else to say about that. I say this is the year he ends up as the top rated fantasy 1B. Cuz yanno Rhys Hoskins will probably be seen as an LF and all that. 11/30, 10 Rs, 5 2Bs, 2 HRs, 11 RBIs, .558 OBP
LVP:Miguel Andujar– The Yanks rook only had 17 ABs for the ‘Topes but LET US BLAME HIM ANYWAYS, as they were mostly unproductive ABs and mostly the ‘Topes had a very good offensive week. 2/17, 1 R, 2 RBIs, .167 OBP
BdSliderz Hitter Of Note: The BdSliderz put together not one but TWO JROLL this week, so many that I almost made the picture up top J-Roll to anger him, but yea one was “Carlos Eduardo Gonzalez” so we all know the one I am gonna highlight is Ozzie Albies tha god (10/41, 9 Rs, 3 2Bs, 1 3B, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs, 1 SB, .262 OBP).
BdSliderz Pitcher Of Note: Jameson Taillon have yourself a WEEK young man, who needs two balls anyways (14.1 IP, 2 ER, 16 Ks, 1 QS, 1 CG, 2 Ws, 1.26 ERA).
Isotopes Hitter Of Note: The ‘Topes DID lead the league in runs in Week 1 so that’s uhhh something to build on, Charlie Blackmon right in the mix as per usual (10/36, 9 Rs, 2 2Bs, 4 HRs, 6 RBIs, 1 SB, .366 OBP).
Isotopes Pitcher Of Note: Cole Hamels had a sorta fascinating week, racking up 23 Ks across two starts but also failing to rack up any QS and pitching to an ERA of 5 or so(16 IP, 9 ER, 23 Ks, 1 W, 5.06 ERA).
Week 2: BdSliderz v. X*Rayz (2017’s #5 v. 2017’s #3/CHAMPEEN)
‘Topes v. Babadooks (2017’s #1 @ 2017’s #6, BBOTW)
MVP: AJ Pollock – AJ POLLOCK JROLL! A fine lookin’ JROLL at that. All of a sudden JROLLs are in large supply around here, not sure how I will feel about this if it continues. But for Week 1 we will just enjoy the JROLLs and blame the extra game or two or whatever.12/35, 7 Rs, 6 2Bs, 1 3B, 1 HR, 6 RBIs, 3 SBs, .425 OBP
LVP:Anthony Rizzo– Pretty weak effort for Anthony Rizzo by Rizzoian standards, and I always knew I didn’t like his face and this just proves why or something. 3/28, 2 Rs, 1 HR, 3 RBIs, .219 OBP
Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note: Here’s another hitter that hit good for the Bad Dudes, and truthfully he should be matchup MVP cuz he hit six goddamned HRs, but I am so tired of Google image searching Bryce Harper pics for these things so I am giving myself a pass for Week 1 (10/29, 10 Rs, 6 HRs, 12 RBIs, 1 SB, .535 OBP).
Bad Dudes Pitcher Of Note: And Sean Manaea had a nice little week on the bump, and who knows how many times I will be able to say that going forward (15.2 IP, 2 ER, 11 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 1.15 ERA).
Fishing Club Hitter Of Note: Mookie Lynn Bettsperformed well in Week 1 but yes this is also just an excuse to write out that name (12/33, 8 Rs, 3 2Bs, 1 HR, 2 RBIs, 2 SBs, .475 OBP).
Fishing Club Pitcher Of Note: And also Gerrit Cole, he did not struggle with his initial jaunt into the American League and then of course he didn’t struggle yet again when he got the Padres at home (14 IP, 1 ER, 22 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 0.64 ERA).
Week 2: Bad Dudes v. RRF (2017’s #4/runner-up:( v. 2017’s #8)
OGTFC @ Slugs (2017’s #7 @ 2017’s #2)
MVP: Shohei Ohtani – Let’s allll get used to seeing this guy’s MUG every time the Renegade Force grab a victory, particularly in weeks like this when he logs two starts and also two dongs for them. Will be interesting to see if the RRF learn how to properly work him into the lineup, as they left a 3 run jack on the bench due to a little uncertainty adapting to this newfangled weapon. Despite that Ohtani looked really good on the mound and really good at the dish and logged 2 QS, 2 Ws, and 2 HRs for Rojo and NOBODY HAS EVER DONE THAT BEFORE IN THIS LEAGUE. Historical stuff, you guys. 4/14, 2 Rs, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs, .333 OBP OH BUT ALSO 13 IP, 3 ER, 18 Ks, 2 QS, 2 Ws, 2.08 ERA
LVP:Julio Teheran– Julio got off to a fairly poor start to 2018, to the point where the Bonerz probably wish he just lined up for one start in Week 1 rather than two. 8 IP, 9 ER, 5 Ks, 10.13 ERA
RRF Hitter Of Note: Zack Cozart had himself a fine week as he attempts to remove the “surprising” tag from his surprising 2017 season, the blog appreciates that he did not steal a base as that would have been one too many Rollinses for this week IMHO (11/44, 7 Rs, 3 2Bs, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs, .313 OBP).
RRF Pitcher Of Note: And also in the non-Ohtani Asian pitchers market Masahiro Tanaka had a lovely little week, I’ve always been a fan but only really went as far as offering like Matt Carpenter for him so here we are (12.1 IP, 4 ER, 15 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 2.92 ERA).
MW Hitter Of Note: AND THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT, fucking 2 more JROLLS that I didn’t even notice til the exact moment I wrote this sentence but one was StarMar and the other is Yankee legend DIDIIIIIII who had himself a fucking WEEK (12/32, 10 Rs, 6 2Bs, 1 3B, 3 HRs, 10 RBIs, 2 SBs, .524 OBP).
MW Pitcher Of Note: Jacob Fariaalso had himself a fucking week but in the bad way, this is across two starts folks (5.2 IP, 9 ER, 2 Ks, 14.29 ERA).
2018 WEEK 1 BACKYARD BATTLE OF THE WEEK, SPONSORED BY BALLAST POINT’S GRAPEFRUIT SCULPIN
MVP: Miguel Sano – Fresh off the non-suspension for that time he off that time where he DIDN’T attempt to assault that young girl in that mall or whatever (I think he probably did it but what do I know), Miguel Sano has opened the season not suspended and has made the most of that non-suspension. I am not going to write anything more and pretend that is out of some moral high ground but really I just don’t know what else to add. 8/27, 7 Rs, 3 2Bs, 3 HRs, 8 RBIs, .405 OBP
LVP:Orlando Arcia– TOUGH START to the Orlando Arcia Era in Mission Valley as he looked to establish himself as a replacement for Elvis Andrus. Early returns weren’t terribly encouraging. to replicate Gyorko you didn’t do much, you jerko. I dunno someone needs to go here and your OBP sucked more than Bregman’s. 1/11, 2 Rs, .231 OBP
Warriors Hitter Of Note: Christian Yelich had a solid week but I am mostly pointing him out cuz he hit the oleeee 10 day DL, along with Wil Myers, so the Warriors will have their offensive flexibility tested a wee bit in their Week 2 matchup (10/26, 6 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 HR, 5 RBIs, .407 OBP).
Warriors Pitcher Of Note: The Warriors’ 136 total Ks were actually THIRD this week behind 137 from the ‘Topes and 138 from the Slugs, so that is nice and tidy Jose Berrios had a huge CG I could talk about but I would rather note that Clayton Kershaw started three times and got fucked out of three Ws by the ailing Dodgers offense (19 IP, 4 ER, 19 Ks, 3 QS, 1.89 ERA).
X*Rayz Hitter Of Note: FORTUNATELY for the X*Rayz re: Arcia, another SS rose to the occasion and early returns were far more encouraging for that one and his name is Tim Anderson and he had a friend die once (8/29, 7 Rs, 3 HRs, 4 RBIs, 5 SBs, .364 OBP).
X*Rayz Pitcher Of Note: Luis Miguel Castillo got off to a litttttle bit of a suspect start for everybody’s darling breakout pick, but one of those starts was against the Nats so give that a little bit of a pass and really I think this middle names thing is the far more suspect situation in the early going here (CUZ IT IS REALLY EARLY PEOPLE) (10 IP, 10 ER, 9 Ks, 9.00 ERA).
I picked this one prior to the week beginning due to it featuring our defending champ and TURNS OUT this may have been the week’s best matchup, as there were a few lead changes on Sunday owing to a razor-thin OBP margin for much of the afternoon. Truth be told I hinted the X*Rayz might be dead in the water MUCH EARLIER in the week and they rallied and rallied good over the weekend, on the backs of identical 2 HR/7 RBI Friday and Saturdays and uhhh OTHER STUFF. But in spite of their best efforts they were unable to overcome that dastardly Jose Berrios CG, and the narrow OBP lead faltered (with the Warriors demonstrating some ACTUAL MANAGING for a change with their benching of Rendon in the night game). The 14-14 deadlock in HRs has to sting for Mission Valley, typically a light-on-HRs type squad, as does the always insulting to injury loss of the triples cat despite multiple 3Bs (3-2), but in the end this one came down to the Warriors demonstrating their usually strong pitching and the depleted staff of the X*Rayz failing to keep up. And that Berrios CG. Can’t overstate how big that was because I kinda understate it by not giving him Pitcher of Note or MVP or nuttin.
In Week 2 the Warriors will look to ACTUALLY MANAGE their way to another win versus last year’s dead last Woke Up With A Boner Squad, despite two star bats set to miss all or most of the matchup (Wil Myers& Christian Yelich). The X*Rayz, meanwhile, head to Lacey Township hoping to avoid a Heroyian 0-2 start to their title defense campaign.
Week 2: Warriors v. AM Wood (2017’s #9 v. 2017’s #10)
Only cuz Heroy noted nobody discussed it. FINE we will fucking discuss it ya baby……
Apr 4, 3:21 AM in the gotdamned morning
OGFC traded Andrew Miller, Cle RP to XYZ
XYZ traded Jay Bruce, NYM RF to OGFC
Fishing Club Return
JAY BRUCE, 31 year old Mets RF and a guy that can hit some dingers, nobody is saying that he can’t hit some dingers. .324 OBP, 29 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 36 HRs, 82 Rs, 101 RBIs, 1 SB for 2 teams across 555 ABs in 2017.SO real good XBH numbers, and can he keep it up? I dunno probably can. You always wonder if going to the Mets saps morale (Todd Frazier already feels less joyous to me) and if the Mets training staff increases DL stints but WHAT DO I KNOW, and Jay is still fairly young and has fairly consistent underlying numbers that point to the basics in those numbers being mostly repeatable. More time in the OF and less time in the 1B maybe leads to more time off but maybe….not. I am not sure of anything today.
ANDREW MILLER, 32.88 year old southpaw reliever for the Indians and the best non-closer reliever in alllll of baseball. 4-3, 27 Holds, 2 Saves, 95 Ks in 62.2 IP (15.43 K/9), 1.44 ERA (1.99 FIP) in 2017. What is there really to sayyyyy here, Miller is the best holds guy in a holds league. Usually by a pretty sizable margin.And I doubt that changes this year and I’m sure he grabs a few saves to boot (more if Allen gets injured) and a bunch of Ks and bam business as usual.
Uhhhh not too sure really. Seems the OGTFC were desperate to move Miller, perhaps for an OF, I hope for an OF cuz there’s probably better non-OF bats on the waiver wire right now. And seems the X*Rayz just took what was given to them. #analysis
THE X*RAYZ. I like the X*Rayz side here because TO ME Jay Bruce is still a borderline replacement-level bat, particularly now that he’s got the Mets stank on him. Nothing like a trip back to the Mets to drag down your morale and your numbers. So yea Jay Bruce is like, guy that may be outperformed by Corey Dickerson and Andrew Miller is best holds guy in league that counts holds. Gotta give this one to the latter side. THIS WAS RELATIVELY BORING THOUGH pick up the pace, league.
AND SO WE ARRIVE AT OPENING DAY, AND AT THE 2017 CHAMPS….
2017 RECORD: 10-6-2
KNOW YOUR OWNER!: COMMISSIONER ODOM AND THE X*RAYZ, your 2017 champs BOW BEFORE THE CROWN YOU BITCHES. That was a bit much but yea, Odom returned to glory last season and captured his 4th title in 7 seasons (insert all your bullshit about the co-managing here) despite once again starting with an unimpressive looking roster. The X*Rayz were the X-Rayz back then and rode that roster to an 8-2-1 finish to the season, grabbing the third seed. And then they marched right through ALL CHALLENGERS in the playoffs (unfortunate BCS incident that we will not get into aside) and came out of things with the cup and all the glory. So now they get that lovely little trophy-based team logo. And their name on the trophy if we ever fucking get around to properly updating it (I predict it takes a year or two). ODOM IS GREAT AND THE X*RAYZ WON THE CHIP LAST SEASON WHICH MAKES THEM ALSO GREAT. BEST OF LUCK TO THE COMMISH IN THE UPCOMING SEASON!
KEY ADDITIONS!: LF Marcel Ozuna, CF Delino Deshields, 3B Nicholas Castellanos, RF Jay Bruce, RF Scott “Young Jay Bruce” Schebler, PERHAPS SS Orlando Arcia, PERHAPS 1B/LF Ian Desmond, PERHAPS but definitely don’t count on it SP Miles Mikolas.
KEY SUBTRACTIONS!: 2B Daniel Murphy, SP David Price, RP Aroldis Chapman, 1B Rhys Hoskins, SP Robbie Ray, 3B Evan Longoria, SS Elvis Andrus, LF Adam Duvall(pretty much cancelled out by Bruce).
THE HITTERS!: The fun thing about reviewing the X*Rayz in preseason is that you always know the roster will probably look DRASTICALLY different later, and you always know it will probably look super underwhelming upon first glance, and yet you always know Odom is likely to make it work. SPEED KILLS FOLKS. The biggest killer on this particular squad is Jose Ramirez,7 cat STUD who busted out last year in a hugeeee way with 29 dongs…. plus all the other sexy stuff in all the other cats, FIFTY SIX doubles for example. Jose drives the bus here. Also on the bus are your signature X*Rayz speed demons, Dee Gordon and Billy Hamilton, joined this year by potential breakout candidate once a-fucking-gain DELINO DESHIELDS. This time it is happening folks. Mission Valley also went out and made two excellent trades this offseason (I mean I am sure they made a bunch of trades but I am only recognizing two as excellent for now), snagging Marcel Ozuna and Nicholas Castellanos. The Babadook is rather high on both those two individuals, and considers them to instantly slot in as the 2nd and 3rd best bats on the team. Beyond these names you have PROBABLY dependable bats in Jay Bruce and Trey Mancini and then a wholeeee bunch of question marks (Andrelton Simmons, Orlando Arcia, Ian Desmond, Yadi Molina). Those four are all suspect for various reasons. Oh yea also they have Scott Schebler, whom I like plenty. ANYWHO let’s look at the HR projections for last year’s worst HR hitting team: SIX projected for 20+ with two projected for 30+ (Ozuna 31 and Bruce 33). And here is where I point out the strange obsession with tracking 0+ HR hitters was allllll a ruse. Cuz this team fucking sucked at homers last season and still stood atop the mountain when it was all said and done. Chicks may dig the long ball but the Backyard doesn’t attract need chicks. Cuz cooties.
The Babadook’s Five Best Bats
1- Jose Ramirez
2- Marcel Ozuna
3- Nicholas Castellanos
4- Dee Gordon
5- Billy Hamilton
THE PITCHERS!: ABTWTS. Always Be Tinkering With The Starters, that’s how they do things in Mission ValleyOOKING RATHER THIN, here. Out are the team STALWARTS David Price and Robbie Ray (if history is any indication they will roster and trade Ray three more times this season though) and in isssss……youth and Jeff Samardzija. The sexiest of that youth is the young man above, a one Luis Castillo of the Reds. FILTHY stuff which was already on display across about 90 innings last season, guy could certainly grab an All Star bid this year. Chris Archer still remains as the guy least likely to ever be dealt by this deal-heavy team, he’s approaching 30 but just gave you like 250 Ks in 200 innings despite an unlucky ERA HE GOOD. Then you have elder statesman of the staff in Samardzija, not a great ERA last season but a great everything else and a great postseason to help the X*Rayz take home the cup. Then it gets ehhhhhhhhhhh: Tanner Roark is meh, James Shields is only here as a monument I hope, Dinelson Lamet has talent but does not have control and also has an elbow issue so he could show some real growing pains and/or miss a lot of time, Luis Gohara plenty of talent as well but couldn’t really pitch to righties last year and is getting a bunch of “I’m a fatty” type injuries already and who knows what the Braves plans would be for him even if he was healthy. Miles Mikolas who fucking knows. LOTTA RISK in lotta profiles, but Mitch Keller and Sandy Alcantara and AJ Puk also lie in wait as potential impact rookie SPs. So really ya just gotta wait and see here.
The X*Rays B*Pen parted with a stalwart of their own (Chapman)but remains very dangerous on the strength of its big 3: Roberto Osuna, Edwin Diaz, Dellin Betances. Osuna and Diaz are two of the best young closers in the fantasy game today, Diaz prone to a bit more volatility due to walks but both should be pretty excellent with room for growth. And Dellin Betances remains an excellent source of Ks, just take that little quip about walks I just made for Diaz and multiply it by 500 here. HIDEOUS walk rate last year and a testament to his stuff that his ERA wasn’t in the 4s. Mission Valley also appears to be strutting into things with Shane Greene as an additional closer to round out the bullpen and Cam Bedrosian on the bench, SO WATCH THAT BATTLE CLOSELY FOLKS IT SHOULD BE A GOOD ONE. But yea the big three remains very very good here. Dellin please stop walking so many people.
The Babadook’s Five Best On The Bump
1- Chris Archer
2- Luis Castillo
3- Roberto Osuna
4- Edwin Diaz
5- Jeff Samardzija
THE PREDICTION!: 9-7-2, 3rd place. These Opening Day rosters for this franchise almost NEVER impress for one reason or another and then they either make 650 moves or guts and guile their way into the playoffs anyways. The X*Rayz continue to corner the speed market and that strategy has served them well, they are your defending champeens and I fully expect them to arrive in the playoffs ready to defend. Just not with a bye.
THE COMMISH’S PREDISH! (Odom’s Prediction): 9-7-2, 5th place.
AND JUST TO WRAP IT ALL UP, SEAN’S PROJECTED PLAYOFFS PREDICTIONS PROJECTIONS FOR THE PREDICTED PLAYOFFS…… how I predict the playoffs will play out:
KNOW YOUR OWNER!: Mike! Mike is still here, still grinding out BCS appearances. NOT WINNIN EM SO MUCH LATELY. But getting there. Which is impressive enough I s’pose. When he’s not scouring waiver wires Lobman enjoys cooking, drinking margaritas, watching CNN, etc. And when he IS scouring waiver wires, he is rather prolific. Last year the Bad Dudes made a league-high SIX HUNDRED EIGHTY FOUR moves in-season, grinded their way to a 4 seed, and then further grinded alllll the way to their third straight BCS appearance. Which resulted in their second straight BCS loss. LETS GO FOR THREE/BEST OF LUCK TO LOBMAN IN THE UPCOMING SEASON!
KEY ADDITIONS!: SP Jake Arrieta MAYBE, CF Andrew McCutchen2B Jason Kipnis, RP Brad Boxberger, RP Zach Britton MAYBE EVENTUALLY, SP Kevin Gausman forreal this time lolz, SP Carlos Rodon ditto for this guy lolz.
KEY SUBTRACTIONS!: RP Wade Davis, RP Archie Bradley, RP Craig Kimbrel ALL THE RPs, 1B Chris Davis, SP Ervin Santana MAYBE if he throws another 4 CGs or whatever (I do not expect this to happen),
THE HITTERS!: These fucking bridesmaids. I kid I kid. Let’s talk about these Bad Dudes Bat Dudes a bit. The Dudes seem to just shuffle chairs around the stars and that seems to be the case once again, with Bryce Harper Giancarlo Stanton and Manny Machado THE BIG THREE all back obviously. These guys are all good obviously. Also rather good is a man that somehow mustered 43 2Bs SIX TRIPLES and 33 HRs last season and that man is Jose Abreu. Somehow that season snuck by me last year but that is a fucking beaut. Beyond that you’ve got Wilson Contreras as a guy that isn’t Gary Sanchez but is pretty damn good (top 3 we shall say), AJ Pollock as a guy that should be fine humidor be damned cuz he was never going to hit 20 HRs again anyways, Yoenis Cespedes as a potential monster if he can avoid lame injuries, Nomar Mazara looking to take the next step forward as a soon-to-be 23 year-old that knocked in 101 RBIs last season, etc. etc. etc. PLENTY OF BATS TO GO AROUND. Also Rougned Odor who sucks but will probably be fine for our league’s purposes if you can stomach potentially hideous OBP, and Jason Kipnis as an aging poorly/injury-prone question mark that also has hit like six dongs in spring training. HOORAY SPRING TRAINING DONGS. ON TO THE HR REPORT: NINE projected for 20+, as well as Contreras projected for 19, and 5 of those 9 projected for 30+ (with Stanton projected for freaking 52). Power should be fine here. PERHAPS a smidge top-heavy on O overall but the RCBD bats can compete with any lineup.
1- Bryce Harper
2- Giancarlo Stanton
3- Manny Machado
4- Jose Abreu
5- Yoenis Cespedes
THE PITCHERS!: These fucking “Second Place Is The First Loser” No Fear T-shirts. I kid I kid. Let’s talk about the Bad Dudes Ball Throwers a bit. SORTA an underwhelming starting staff as I would call it, lead by Carlos Carrasco fresh off his best season to date. I have loved Carlos Carrasco since he was a Clearwater Thresher in my old MLB The Show Phillies franchise TRUE STORY. So yea I love Carlos, surprised I haven’t tried to trade for him yet. After Carlos I declare a bit of a dropoff, as one guy I have NOT ever loved is Marcus Stroman. Should deliver some innings and some QS but meh, but he also may be the second best pitcher on the staff. Sonny Gray is also here as he looks to settle in to a full season as a Yank, if The Kraken can block The Curveballs he could have a nice little season. And Jake Arrieta arrives in Philly, a man shunned in free agency, but at least he showed up before June. Also there’s a bunch of other FRINGE arms (Kevin Gausman, Carlos Rodon, Sean Manaea) that need to show me more or need to not be injured before I waste too much space on them. Also there is Danny Salazar whom the Indians need to go ahead and just turn into Chad Green type already.
As for the Bad Dudes bullpen, changes afoot. SHIPPED OUT were some dudes (Wade Davis, Archie Bradley, Jimmy Sherfy) and BROUGHT IN were some other dudes that might be able to mostly match the performances of those three (Brandon Morrow, Mark Melancon, Joe Jimenez). OH YEA and they still have Craig Kimbrel there, he’s probably the second best closer in all the land which is a sad thing to admit ‘cuz SAWKS Never mind now they have Brad Boxberger, he’s like 3 blown saves from being replaced by Hirano. Now they also have Blake Treinen as Kimbrel replacement *sad trombone*. The Bad Dudes also have the ghost of Zach Britton rattling his chains around their DL slots, what he’s got when he comes back is anyone’s guess though. He used to be lovely.
1- Craig KimbrelCarlos Carrasco
2- Marcus Stroman
3- Sonny Gray
4- Jake Arrieta
5- Danny Salazar
THE PREDICTION!: 8-8-2, 5th place. I expect much o’ the sameeeeee from the Bad Dudes this year, inconsistency and tinkering all season long resulting in an underwhelming playoff berth. And those meeting the Bad Dudes there would be wise to no take them lightly, they’ve marched through all the rounds before they can march through all the rounds again.
THE COMMISH’S PREDISH! (Odom’s Prediction): 11-7, 3rd place.
These are the Official and Up To Date and Decided Upon Rules Of The Backyard, once and for all and maybe even forever…… do not bitch about them later because these are them. If you ever need to find them just make your way over to the blog (google “backyardviews wordpress” or something, if this is something you struggle with) and search under “League Business” on the side there and there they shall be. Study them, know them, respect them, fear them, abide by them.
Punishment for Exceeding Matchup Starts Limit Beginning in 2018, exceeding a matchup’s starts limit (typically 12 starts, more in extended weeks) will result in an automatic disqualification if you win or tie a matchup, as well as a roster lock for the first FOUR (4) days of the next week’s matchup.
Special Week (Opening Week & All Star Week) Matchup Starts Limit
Opening week start limit is 19. The All Star Week Matchup start limit is 24. Owners are free to make an agreement with their opponent on a lowered start limit. Disputes between owners over a start agreement may be brought to the attention of league offices, however it’s likely said offices will say something to the effect of “shut up you fuckers and just adhere to the max start limit”.
Minor League Regulations and Requirements
– All teams must maintain a total of TEN (10) minor leaguers at all times barring a trade, DL move involving a minor league player, or on the initial day a player exceeds minor league limits. In this instance, the team will have until the next First Pitch Roster Lock to become compliant. All teams MUST ALWAYS maintain at least TEN (10) minor league players. If you do not have the full allotment of minor leaguers, you will be asked to pick up minor leaguers to reach compliance. If you do not pick up minor leaguers to reach compliance, Low Minors players will be picked up for you and they will suck or be Tim Tebow or both.
– Low Minors spots (6) are for players with 0 MLB IP and 0 MLB ABs. This is mandatory. High Minors spots (a maximum of 4) are for players under 50 MLB IP and 130 MLB ABs respectively. For players with both pitching and batting eligibility, they will lose minor league status upon reaching either threshold. There is no mandatory requirement to own FOUR (4), or any, High Minors players; however as stated above it is mandatory to roster TEN (10) minor leaguers at all times.
Regular Season Violations to Minor League Regs
1st Strike:Offense A (Empty minors roster slot): Warning.
1st Strike:Offense B (Rostering ineligible player at roster lock): Warning.
1st Strike:Offense C (Starting ineligible player at roster lock): Opponent is allowed to select one player that you must sit the following day.
2nd Strike:Offense A (Empty minors roster slot) Warning.
2nd Strike:Offense B (Rostering ineligible player at roster lock): Opponent is allowed to select ONE (1) player that you must sit the following day AND no adds or drops allowed for the following day.
2nd Strike:Offense C (Starting ineligible player at roster lock): Opponent is allowed to select ONE (1) player you must sit the following TWO (2) days AND offending team loses ONE (1) minor league player (High Minors, Low Minors, or Rights) to waiver wire or rights pool. Player will be picked by a jury of your peers, via GroupMe poll.
3rd Strike:Offense A (Empty minors roster slot): Lose TWO (2) minor league players (a combo of HM, LM, or Rights) to waiver wire or rights pool. Player will be picked by a jury of your peers, via GroupMe poll.
3rd Strike:Offense B (Rostering ineligible player at roster lock): Lose FOUR (4) minor league players (a combo of HM, LM, or Rights) to waiver wire or rights pool. Players will be picked by a jury of your peers, via GroupMe poll.
3rd Strike:Offense C (Starting ineligible player at roster lock): Opponent is allowed to select ONE (1) player that you must sit the remainder of the week AND minor league temporary death penalty (lose all minor league players plus rights players, must maintain 10 empty minors and 3 empty rights slots for one year from date of offense).
Violations to Minor League Regs on Sundays/Week 18/Playoffs
– Strikes proceed same as above with Sunday violations carrying into the next matchup with said opponent as needed.
– Week 18 (last week of the regular season) offenses will carry a mandatory drop of ONE (1) minor leaguer (HM, LM, or Rights); player will be picked by a jury of your peers via GroupMe poll.
– Playoff violations will result in same punishments as above for Offense A (Strikes 1 and 2) only. For Offense A (Strike 3) and Offense B and C (all), violation will result in temporary minor league death penalty (lose all minor league players plus rights players, must maintain 10 empty minors slots and 3 empty rights slots for one year from date of offense). Additionally your opponent shall be allowed to select TWO (2) players from your roster that must be benched for the remainder of the matchup.
– If an ineligible player is found in an active lineup, they can/will be removed from the lineup immediately by league officials.
Additional Minor League Reg Notes
– Starting in 2018, minor league violation totals shall be recorded and carried over year to year. Multi-year violations totals can and will be held against you, records of violations shall be maintained in Rights Players document on blog.
– Starting in 2018, 3 strike offenders of the minor league policy will lose their 1st round pick in the following Spring Draft.
– Any owner that accumulates FIVE (5) violations over any time period will not be allowed to participate in any Backyard Draft for ONE (1) full year, beginning on the day of the 5th violation.
– The intention to claim or pass on a rights player once they reach the ESPN system must be declared by the owner of their rights within 1 hour of roster lock on the day the player reaches the system. If the owner is unaware of the player reaching the system for more than 24 hours, the decision must be made within ONE (1) hour of them finding out the player is in the system.
– Rosters may be non-compliant on the day a player comes off of the DL up until roster lock. Previously this rule applied to minor leaguers only, now it applies to all players.
-Owners eliminated from the postseason may allow their current minor league players to exceed the maximums up until the end of the ACTUAL BASEBALL SEASON. Once the World Series concludes, offseason rules for minor leaguers will begin.
Rights Players/Rights Draft(s) Guidelines:
Participation in the Rights Players process is not required for any team that does not wish to participate.
You may only have THREE (3) draft rights players at any given time.
If you decide to keep any of your Rights Players, you will forfeit your picks in the next Rights Draft in descending order (3,2,1) depending on how many players you keep/how many rounds the draft contains.
If you renounce the rights to your Rights Player, they will be available in the draft. If they’re not drafted, they are ineligible to be selected in any form until they show up in the system, or the offseason draft.
An updated list of Rights Player rosters is on the blog. See blog.
Trades are acceptable for Rights Draft picks, and Rights Draft picks for the Spring Rights Draft. This is already being tracked.
Rights Players currently unattached to teams ARE eligible but with the following conditions:
If a player is drafted in this year’s draft rights draft, they MUST sign with an organization by the All-Star Break Rights Draft (TBD). If they are not attached to a team by that time, they will be released back into the pool for the next year’s draft.
This is not negotiable. This is a risk that you take for picking this player. You are being warned.
Again, just a little refresher on the draft rights process:
If you draft a player, you are obligated to make a decision on his roster status for your team the second he is found to be available in the ESPN player pool.
You are free to add him or decline and send him back to the player pool.
If you add this player, you will use your waiver spot. Your waiver spot will be used REGARDLESS of whether we notice a player is on or off waivers at the time.
If you relinquish the rights to a player, he’s available (via waivers or free agency) to the rest of the league.