The Spring Draft will return in 2018!Although it will likely occur during the winter technically, it is called the Spring Draft because it happens during Spring Training. NOW that I have cleared that up, I can announce that the date is TBD. Because who knows when ESPN will open the league up again for sure in 2018. The draft will be held on the first weekend following the league being re-activated. The date will be flexible so schedules will be accommodated. The draft will consist of 3 rounds. Draft order will be decided by reverse standings, with the BCS Cup winner and runner-up selecting 9th and 10th. In order to be eligible to draft, a team must have at least 1 open roster or rights spot. A team must have one open roster spot or rights spot for each draft pick they use in the draft. Teams with no empty roster spots or rights spot will not participate in the Spring draft. They are not permitted to trade for a pick once the draft has started. The draft will take place in a GroupMe chat, separate from the Backyard Radio feed.
2018 All Star Break Rights Selection Process
The Rights Selection Process returns for the 2018 season! The event will take place on the Thursday following the All Star Game. The process will have 3 rounds. A team must have 1 empty spot in their controlled rights pool for every pick they make during the process. Draft order will be decided by reverse standing, with the BCS Cup winner and runner-up selecting 9th and 10th. Any player not in the ESPN system is eligible to be selected. The draft will take place in a GroupMe chat, separate from the Backyard Radio feed.
The Backyard Baseball Hall of Fame
Introducing the Backyard Hall of Fame! Ballots on the first class of candidates will be sent out shortly. Voting will be 100% league owners. All stats over a players 162 game season will be considered. Only stats from the 14 categories in the Backyard scoring structure will be observed. Players must receive 70% or more of yes votes to be inducted. Players are only eligible for the ballot twice. Players will enter the HoF with the team that owned them for the most total time during their Backyard career. A petition may be filed if a team feels they have a claim to a HoF inductee. If deemed valid by the league office, a league vote will be held to decide which cap said entrant dons. A maximum of 5 players may enter in any given year. A minimum of 0 players may enter in any given year. A website will be opened to display the players in our HoF. Beginning in 2018, events such as cycles and no hitters will also be logged in the HoF. The Hall of Fame class will be released 1 by 1, beginning on the Monday of the BCS Cup and released daily until the full class has been announced. The induction ceremony will be held before the start of the Spring Draft.
That’s all for now. Stay tuned for Part 2: Future Proposals.
The 2017 Backyard Championship League Fantasy Regulard Season (One of these days I will hammer down a formal name for this league) BROUGHT US MANY THINGS. But perhaps the most valuable of those things is the JROLL, inspired by Jimmy Rollins’ 2007 season and handed out to players that are able to collect a DOUBLE, TRIPLE, HOME RUN, AND STOLEN BASE all in a single week. So naturally a 2017 JROLL AWARD should be awarded to the guy who did the best job of racking up JROLLS. What follows will be that award as well as a team-by-team breakdown of JROLLS for this season. BUT FIRST LET US POST (AND POSSIBLY CRITIQUE) THE RESULTS OF THE AWARDS VOTED ON BY ALL OF OUR OWNERS. In order to highlight why you don’t get to vote on the JROLL AWARD……..
2017 AL Live Wire: Zack Cozart, Renegade Force
My vote: Luis Severino, Banana Slugs
Why you got it wrong: Sevvy Sev has just been fairly fucking dominant all year, and what’s Cozart done he’s missed like 40 games is what he’s done.
2017 NL Live Wire: Michael Conforto, BackdoorSliderz
My vote: Michael Conforto, BackdoorSliderz
Why you we got it wrong: I dunno still might have been Smoakhere though, Conforto’s numbers barely best Steven Souza Jr. and he is the guy I had to leave out in place of Smoak so SCIENCE.
2017 AL Rookie of the Year: Jacob Faria, Morning Wood
My vote: Jacob Faria, Morning Wood
2017 NL Rookie of the Year: Aaron Judge, Isotopes
My vote: Cody Bellinger, Isotopes
Why you got it wrong: Judge already had like 84 ABs in 2016 and I believe this award should reward the most High Minors production most of the time and Bellinger CERTAINLY did more with his first 84 ABs, and by extension his first 130 ABs overall. Both are good though we get it T.
2017 AL Mariano Rivera Reliever of the Year: Greg Holland, Isotopes
My vote: Greg Holland, Isotopes which I tried to change to Chris Devenski, X-Rayz after I reallllly thought about it.
Why you we got it wrong: SP ELIGIBLE RELIEVER STATS ARE LIFE.
2017 NL Mariano Rivera Reliever of the Year: Craig Kimbrel, Bad Dudes
My vote: Kenley Jansen, MooniniteZ.
Why you got it wrong: Kenley had more Ws allowed one less ER, and EVEN THREW IN A HOLD. Just had a few less Ks. And he is the best reliever in baseball and shame on you all.
2017 AL Dy Young (in honor of Jose Fernandez I am sure this name will be cleaned up next season): Chris Sale, Titans
My vote: Chris Sale, Titans but I mean shit poor Klubez should have grabbed a vote
2017 NL Dy Young: Zack Greinke, Morning Wood
My vote: Ervin Santana, Bad Dudes.
Why you got it wrong: COMPLETE GAMES ARE ALSO LIFE.
2017 AL MVP: Charlie Blackmon, Isotopes
My vote: Charlie Blackmon, Isotopes
2017 NL MVP: Nolan Arenado, MooniniteZ
My vote: Nolan Arenado, MooniniteZ
SO A BIT OF A MIXED BAG overall but clearly you can see you cannot be trusted with something as sacred as a JROLL award. So let us get to that…..
THE 2017 JROLL AWARD
FIRST SOME FLUFF…..
TOTAL JROLLS IN 2017 BACKYARD REGULAR SEASON: NINETEEN
Broken down as follows: 2 Wk1, 3 Wk5, 2 Wk6, 3 Wk8, 2 Wk11, 1 Wks12-15, 1 Wk17, 2 Wk18
Point Loma X-Rayz: 2 (Billy Hamilton, Jose Ramirez)
Rojo’s Renegade Force: 2 (Paul Goldschmidt, Chris Taylor)
Bellcrest Park MooniniteZ: 2 (Nolan Arenado, Keon Broxton)
River City Bad Dudes: 2 (Rougned Odor, Xander Bogaerts)
Toms River Titans: 1 (Javier Baez)
Barnegat Banana Slugs: 1 (Tommy Pham)
OceanGate Trout Fishing Club: 1 (Brian Dozier)
Q-Tip City Morning Wood: 1 (Brandon Belt)
PRETTIEST JROLL OF THE SEASON:
Billy Hamilton (X-Rayz), Week 5: 2 2Bs, 3 3Bs, 1 HR, 9 SBs
AND NOW, YOUR 2017 JROLL AWARD WINNER…….
CHUCK NAZTY SLIDING IN TO TAKE THE INAUGURAL CROWN. I guess this might have been fairly obvious to anyone that’s perused the season stats but LET THE RECORD SHOW I was really just planning on giving this award to whoever racked up the most JROLLS. With Blackmon and Alex Bregman tied at 2 (and me not believing in giving out ties for this most sacred of awards) we had to jump to the overall season stats, and at that point it becomes clear this award in this year should belong to Mr. Nazty. The guy has 5 more triples than anyone else in baseball and those are the reallll stickler stat for most potential JROLLERS. CONGRATULATIONS TO CHARLIE BLACKMON FOR THIS PRESTIGIOUS AWARD.
AND THUS CONCLUDES THE REGULAR SEASON. THIS ONE WAS PERHAPS THE WACKIEST SEASON YET, WITH ONLY TWO TEAMS OUT OF CONTENTION AS WE HEADED INTO WEEK 18. NOT TOO SUUREEEE THAT HAS EVER BEEN THE CASE. BUT WHEN IT IS ALL SAID AND DONE THERE CAN ONLY BE SIX HEADED TO THE BACKYARD BRACKET (UGLY PROTOTYPE ABOVE, BELOW THE GIF OF SPIDERMAN FIGHTING DUST SURELY YOU SEE IT) AND IT TOOK A WHOLE LOTTA WEEK 18 MADNESS (INCLUDING YET ANOTHER SUNDAY NIGHT HEARTBREAKER) TO GET TO THAT SIX SO LET US ILLUMINATE MORE SPECIFICALLY HOW WE GOT TO THAT SIX..……
MVP: Eddie Rosario – Neither team gave a shit, but THIS GUY was picked up just to prepare for a Round 2 Monday night doubleheader and he is out here SLUGGIN’. So fuck it maybe he stays around after that even, baseball is a funny game. 12/27, 10 Rs, 3 2Bs, 4 HRs, 9 RBIs, 1 SB, .484 OBP
LVP:JT Realmuto– Nobody gave a shit here, but perhaps JT gave the least shit of all? 2/21, 1 R, 1 RBI, .200 OBP
MooniniteZ Hitter Of Note: Again neither team gave a shit, but here look at this Joey Votto walked 12 times last week(8/22, 10 Rs, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 5 RBIs, .588 OBP).
MooniniteZ Pitcher Of Note: Anddd naturally James Paxton went and got hurt and now the BPMZ’s two best pitchers will miss the entire playoffs in all likelihood EXCELLENT (6.1 IP, 3 ER, 6 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 4.26 ERA).
Titans Hitter Of Note: They didn’t give a shit here, but as the Titans look ahead to 2018 they can take solace in the fact that Andrew Benintendi will probably be pretty good that Red Sawks fuck (10/22, 5 Rs, 1 2B, 3 HRs, 9 RBIs, 2 SBs, .458 OBP).
Titans Pitcher Of Note: And maybe Eduardo Rodriguez, a different Red Sawks fuck, will also be pretty good which would give the Titans yet another pitching piece that could be argued to be excessive at this point (6 IP, 0 ER, 7 Ks, 1 QS, 0.00 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: This one had no bearing on the playoff picture and neither team paid much attention so I don’t think there’s much to say here, other than to note that both of these teams had PRETTY STRONG offensive numbers and both of these teams only started 5 pitchers. Although it SHOULD BE NOTED that the MooniniteZ racked up 60 Ks with only 5 starts so yanno, it is possible the strikeout record might have been in play if they kept something close to that pace. But WITH SO MANY PITCHING INJURIES HOW WOULD I EVEN FIND 12 STARTS. Anywho the Titans put up solid hitting stats in their 2017 swan song (49 Rs, 19 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 16 HRs, 42 RBIs, 7 SBs, .3469 OBP) but the MooniniteZ put up slightly better numbers in some spots (53 Rs, 19 HRs, 43 RBIs, .3828OBP) and got a whole bunch of Saves (10) and there is your difference. In Round 1 BOTH THESE TEAMS will be on vacation, in Round 2 the #1 seed Bellcrest Park MooniniteZ will return from vacation to take on the winner of the uhhhh 4 v. 5 First Round Matchup or whatever. The Titans will remain on vacation, but they will be remembered. Hopefully they change their team name in 2018 so I can avoid these Remember The Titans puns because otherwise I just can’t fucking help myself sometimes.
Next Week aka This Week: MooniniteZ vs. BYE, Titans @ DONE FOR THE YEAR
MVP: Jose Pirela – Jose Pirela out here SHININ’ for the X-Rayz’ home town team, and also for the X-Rayz. This particular week. 10/24, 8 Rs, 3 2Bs, 3 HRs, 5 RBIs, .533 OBP
LVP:Logan Morrison – LoMo you could have contributed more than 5 measly singles and 1 measly RBI but you didn’t and that is why you are here. 5/21, 1 RBI, .2611 OBP
X-Rayz Hitter Of Note: Gotta shout out to Yadier Molinahere cuz he’s like 94 years old in catcher years and still getting it done both at and behind the plate (6/26, 6 Rs, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 7 RBIs, 1 SB, .259 OBP).
X-Rayz Pitcher Of Note: Not alotta standouts for the X-Rayz on this side of the ball in Week 18 but uhhh Chris Devenski got 2 Holds with only one inning of work so let us make note…..of that (1 IP, 0 ER, 1 K, 2 Holds, 0.00 ERA).
Morning Wood Hitter Of Note: I am gonna highlight my favorite Morning Wood pickup and that is a one Whit Merrifield, everyone knows they either rostered him or considered rostering him and then just threw him back in the pond and now LOOK AT EM he might rather improbably be a guy I wanna trade for him already (10/32, 3 Rs, 1 3B, 1 HR, 7 RBIs, 1 SB, .324 OBP).
Morning Wood Pitcher Of Note: And let us also highlight the work of Carlos Martinez which has been plenty solid for this sinking ship all season say that 5x fast (14 IP, 5 ER, 14 Ks, 2 QS, 2 Ws, 3.21 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: What can weeee discuss here? Let’s see, the X-Rayz lead the league in steals in Week 18 and that prompted me to look back and see how many times they DIDN’T lead the league in steals and turns out they didn’t lead the league in steals 6 times in teh 18 weeks. So a 66.6% league-leading steal numbers percentage. Not too shabby. In other news the Bonerz had the fewests Runs in the league in Week 18 (35) and that is something that probably happened AT LEAST 66.6% of the time, they also tied for the fewest RBIs (36) and that is probably something that happened fairly frequently as well. TOUGH INAUGURAL SEASON for QTC is what I am saying here. That being said they did ride some decentish pitching numbers to a near upset here, but in the end it fell short and mercifully their season comes to a close. We will give them the first year to sort of mold their roster and learn the league ins and outs, hell even the MooniniteZ sucked in their expansion year, but NEXT YEAR I WANT LESS HEAD SCRATCHING TRADES. As for the X-Rayz, they wrap up a PRETTY IMPRESSIVE third straight double digit win season (an EVEN MORE IMPRESSIVE sixth straight if you go back to the dynasty dayz) and wrap up the #3 seed and for their troubles they draw the guy from Lacey that they HANDPICKED for the league. Did they handpick their own doom? Tune in this week to find out.
Next Week aka This Week: #3 X-Rayz vs. #6 BDSliderz (The Commish takes on THE MAN HE BROUGHT INTO THE LEAGUE, write your own storylines accordingly, Morning Wood vs. THE LONG COLD OFFSEASON
MVP: Justin Turner – Justin Turner is having himself a HELL of a fucking season, and I once owned this guy and I just straight up dropped him AND THAT SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN A MISTAKE AND EVERYTHING IS ALL ABOUT ME ALWAYS. 7/23, 6 Rs, 2 2Bs, 4 HRs, 9 RBIs, .346 OBP ***MVP OF THE WEEK***
LVP:Trevor Story – Same old Story. Which is that Trevor Story isn’t that good. IT ISN’T A “DOWN YEAR” IT IS A FLAWED APPROACH SEE ALSO RYAN SCHIMPF. 1/13, .250 OBP
BackdoorSliderz Hitter Of Note:Michael Conforto is another BackdoorSlider swingin’ a hot bat at justttttttt the right time o’ year it seems, all of his hits last week left the yard (4/21, 6 Rs, 4 HRs, 7 RBIs, .370 OBP).
BackdoorSliderz Pitcher Of Note: And Aaron Nola continues to do quite a good job of uhhh preventing others from swinging a hot bat(7 IP, 1 ER, 8 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.29 ERA).
Banana Slugs Hitter Of Note: As Brian has noted the continuing correction of Josh Donaldson‘s numbers continues, he isn’t nearly as old as he looked earlier in the season folks (8/20, 4 Rs, 3 HRs, 9 RBIs, .538 OBP).
Banana Slugs Pitcher Of Note: DO NOT LOOK NOW but Jake Arrieta looks good again, I sure as shit would take him all my pitchers are dead or dying (12.1 IP, 3 ER, 11 Ks, 2 QS, 2 Ws, 2.19 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: OH YEA THIS MATCHUP HAPPENED TOO. This is perhaps the only typo if you will that I have ever regretted because Doch really DOES deserve some discussion and some credit for coming to play in Week 18 and doing what he needed to do to set his team up for a possibly playoff berth. A berth they would eventually realize when all the rest of the chips fell where they may. BUT FIRST the BackdoorSliderz needed to take care of their own business AND TAKE CARE OF IT THEY DID: 17 Rs, 46 RBIs, .3593 OBP, 95 Ks, 10 Ws, 2.531 ERA. These are all excellent numbers folks, and all good enough for category Ws in this one, and it was 1 uhhh “point” if you will losses in QS and Saves that served as the only real blemishes on the week for Lacey Township. Just a real solid performance in a must-win week, highlighted by a 9 R 6 HR 14 RBI Sunday to come from behind in a lot of these categories, as the Banana Slugs seemingly had already started their bye week at that point. So yes for the Banana Slugs, they stop their “non-losing” streak at 6 but they remain the #2 seed and in possession of the all-important First Round Bye (as well as an always impressive double digit win season). That sentence I just typed means the Banana Slugs will be on vacation in the #BackYardBracket’s first round, biding their time and whatnot. The Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz ON THE OTHER HAND head to Point Loma for a showdown with an old friend that abandoned them, and abandoned us all really, for the sunshine of the west coast. Should be a doozy of a matchup.
Next Week aka This Week: BDSliderz @ X-Rayz (“Oh thanks for inviting me into your little fantasy baseball league NOW GET OUT OF MY WAY”), Banana Slugs vs. The Sweet Taste Of A First Round Bye
MVP: Odubel Herrera – HOWZ ABOUT A JROLL FROM A PHILADELPHIA PHILLY WHAT A SWEET WEEK 18 TREAT. I had no idea that Odubel was on the ‘Topes and have no idea that his performance was back from the grave. Perhaps I should get re-acquainted with my possible Round 2 opponents at some point. 10/22, 4 Rs, 2 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 1 HR, 4 RBIs, 2 SBs, .538 OBP
LVP:Rougned Odor – Oh Rougned, what have you become? A marginal player whom will probably rebound next year but whom has negative value this year, is what you have become. 2/15, 1 2B, .188 OBP
Isotopes Hitter Of Note:Khris Davis nearly had himself a JROLL as well but couldn’t man the fuck up and get himself a steal, EVEN THOUGH HE IS BLACK @gaheroy (6/21, 6 Rs, 1 2B, 1 3B, 3 HRs, 8 RBIs, .423 OBP).
Isotopes Pitcher Of Note: I think lots of people should have probably grabbed Sean Doolittle when they had the chance and now he’s out here putting up 3 Save weeks and whatnot (4 IP, 0 ER, 3 Ks, 3 Saves, 0.00 ERA).
Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note: THE BIG NEWS really from this past week was that Bryce Harper done fucked his knee up and is very likely out for our entire fantasy playoffs, so the Bad Dudes will now have to try and win a championship without the guy that CARRIED THEM to their last one (5/15, 3 Rs, 1 2B, 1 HR, 6 RBIs, .368 OBP).
Bad Dudes Pitcher Of Note: BUT MAYBE Ervin Santana CAN CARRY THEM THROUGH THIS YEAR, I am thinking a string of CGs or something (11 IP, 4 ER, 12 Ks, 1 QS, 3.27 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: Credit where credit is due here, the ‘Topes needed to win to get in here and they did their job. Not only that but they did said job against the team they would be pretty much guaranteed to face in Round 1…..so yanno now they’ll face in Round 1. BUT IN WEEK 18 this was all about the ‘Topes outslugging the Bad Dudes, and also a good bit about the Bad Dudes just having a Bad Offensive Week, and also a good bit about the Bad Dudes coping with the psychological trauma of a Saturday Bryce Harper Bad Injury. River City posted the week’s worst OBP (.2988) and second fewest Runs (39) and despite some solid pitchin’ and pen numbers (96 Ks, 3.544 ERA, 5 Saves, 3 Holds) the sagging offense was all the window the ‘Topes needed in a somewhat-typical-for-them strong offensive week (57 Runs, 18 2Bs, 3 3Bs, 18 HRs, 8 SBs, and a league-leading .4065 OBP). Astoria would take 6 of 7 hitting cats and would sneak by with one more QS (7 to 6) and one more Win (5 to 4) than their opponents and that is your spread folks. Astoria now returns to the playoffs after a one year hiatus with their most dangerous offense PROBABLY OF ALL TIME in tow, and they will be taking on the same goddamned team they just took on we literally just talked about it. For the River City Bad Dudes they will be hoping the third time is the charm (FOURTH TIME if you count the Wiffleball HR Derby), as they suffered a Season Series Sweep at the hands of the Astoria Isotopes (and a humiliating derby loss at the hands of their owner). But again the key story here is the Bad Dudes will have to do it alllll without their star player, he of the 197 wRC+ back in Lobman’s 2015 championship season.
Next Week aka This Week: WE ARE RUNNING THIS ONE BACK, #4 Bad Dudes vs. #5 Isotopes (disregard what ESPN says regarding seeding)
2017 WEEK 18 GAME OF THE WEEK, SPONSORED BY A DIFFERENT GAME OF THE WEEK THINGIE
MVP: Brian Dozier – THE DOZE MAN did all he could to try and drag this undeserving team into the playoffs. BOY he woulda been fun to watch on a playoff team, just to see if he could replicate last season’s 2nd half. But oh well I guess. Also JROLL. 13/34, 9 Rs, 1 2B, 1 3B, 3 HRs, 9 RBIs, 1 SB, .417 OBP
LVP:Mike Foltynewicz– Really if someone is to be blamed here it is Folty for this Friday performance that FUCKED the Renegade Force, keep in mind they narrowly lost both Ks and ERA. 2.2 IP, 6 ER, 1 K, 20.25 ERA ***LVP OF THE WEEK***
OGTGC Hitter Of Note: Kris Bryant is an excellent hitter who will NOT be featured in this year’s #BackYardBracket and he had a ridiculous OBP last week (14/23, 4 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 3B, 1 HR, 4 RBIs, .679 OBP).
OGTFC Pitcher Of Note: Sean Manaea got fucking ROCKED, ESPN described it with “may be the worst fantasy start of the year by any pitcher” so I guess that is noteworthy (0.1 IP, 6 ER, 0 Ks, 162.00 ERA).
RRF Wood Hitter Of Note: Nelson Cruz is an excellent hitter who will NOT be featured in this year’s #BackYardBracket and he is a beloved former player of mine and I wish him well in the twilight of his career (10/23, 6 Rs, 3 2Bs, 4 HRs, 10 RBIs, .440 OBP).
RRF Pitcher Of Note: Corey Kluber is a fucking PHENOMENAL pitcher who nearly carried the RRF to the playoffs all by himself and he will NOT be featured in this year’s #Backyard Bracket and he should have garnered at least one “Dy Young” vote as he’s been pretty unreal in the second half here (16 IP, 4 ER, 20 Ks, 2 QS, 2 Ws, 1 CG, 2.25 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: OH WHAT A FUCKING PAINFUL ONE for Renegade Force Fanz worldwide. They had this one, they had this one within their grasp and then they choked it all away. And to a team that was simply using the last week to get to an unholy 6-6-6 record and ALSO miss the playoffs, no less. I could talk about numbers here but numbers and charts and figures CANNOT QUANTIFY HEARTBREAK, and I am both heartbroken to see the Renegade Force miss the playoffs and also kinda happy cuz they might have been tough and DEFINITELY happy that the OGTFC also missed the playoffs. Yet again there will be no back to back champion, Odom and I will have our quiet champagne toast at some point in the near future and Mercury Morris will probably show up to that one as well. Let the record show we will also have a quiet champagne toast if anyone ever goes back to back because we know they will probably never go back to back to back that is really difficult. But where was I? BRANDON FUCKING KINTZLER, that is where I was. Sure Jordan Montgomery could have maybe gone a bit deeper in the Sunday night game and grabbed 2 more Ks (OGTF won the cat 73-72) but I mean also give the guy a fucking break he took a batting practice liner to the head Saturday and he was facing the Red Sox. But it was Brandon Kintzler’s appearance late Sunday night and the subsequent 1 K he got in it that would prove the fatal difference here. That combined with that SHITTY Folty start discussed above also combined with Rafael Devers not being in the Sunday night starting lineup to open up the possibility of the miracle SB (2-2). And YES, Devers did come in late and take Chapman deep and with that Rojo’s Renegade Force are now the sole owner of the ALL TIME HOME RUN RECORD for a week. SMALL CONSOLATION TO RRF FANS WORLDWIDE, as they continue to await their first championship.
Next Week aka This Week: BOTH OF YOU ARE HOME, GO HOME BOTH OF YOU
OH BUT THERE IS MORE……..ROUND ONE PREVIEW HERE WE GO…..
ROUND 1 PREVIEW
Now that we have looked at how we arrived at this #FieldOfSix, let’s take a look at the matchups that will determine which two teams will advance to Round 2 to take on the top 2 seeds…..
FIRST ROUND BYES: #1 BELLCREST PARK MOONINITEZ
#2 BARNEGAT BANANA SLUGS
#3 POINT LOMA X-RAYZ VS. #6 LACEY TWP BACKDOORSLIDERZ
The Point Loma X-Rayz enter the 2017 #BackYardBracket AS POSSIBLE CHAMPIONSHIP FAVORITES if group chat polling is to be believed, but first they’ll have to take out the new guy (and new guys have had some luck or success or whatever you want to call it in their playoff debuts in the past). Both of these teams would qualify as dangerous if they are to advance to the next round, the X-Rayz earn that title with their typical formula of speed speed and speed and the BackdoorSliderz earn that title with a more well-rounded attack. The season-long numbers back this up; the X-Rayz are leading the league in Triples and Stolen Bases (also 2nd in Runs) but laggards in the HR and RBI categories, and the BackdoorSliderz slotting into the top 5 in all offensive categories. Interestingly enough both teams have pitched to a near-equal ERA, X-Rayz slightly ahead 3.971 to 3.997, showing just how far the Lacey pitching staff has come in recent weeks (they were definitely towards the bottom in previous installments of the Power Rankings in that particular CAT). The rest of the pitching numbers tend to fall in the X-Rayz favor, they are the #3 seed here after all, so Lacey Township will certainly want to stream carefully if they are to try and pull off the oleeee 6 over 3 upset here.
These two teams split their season series, with the BackdoorSliderz winning in Week 6 (7-3-4) and the Point Loma X-Rayz taking their Week 15 matchup (7-6-1). The winner here moves on to take on the #2 seed Barnegat Banana Slugs; the Slugs are 2-0 this season against the X-Rayz and 1-1 against Lacey Township.
WHAT TO WATCH FOR: POWER NUMBERS. Everyone knows they are likely in for an L in the SBs cat when they head to Point Loma, and it can be a bit of a dangerous trap for teams to try and alter their roster to stay competitive there. But it can be even worse if teams have a bit of a power outage that coincides with a power boon in Point Loma, as you really want to make sure you take the HR and RBI categories at a minimum when taking on this team. Watch the power numbers early to see if the X-Rayz are keeping pace with the BackdoorSliderz in these cats, it could signal some reallll trouble for Doch if one of those categories goes to Point Loma.
#4 RIVER CITY BAD DUDES VS. #5 ASTORIA ISOTOPES
The Week 18 matchup so nice we are playing it twice, or whatever, as the Astoria Isotopes now have to suffer the INDIGNITY of marching into Round 1 as the lower seed against the team they just handily defeated in Week 18. And the Isotopes will be marching in with a dominant offense: 3rd in Runs this season, 2nd in HRs and RBIs, really good at pretty much everything except stealing bases and hitting two-baggers for some reason. But they’ll be facing a pretty powerful offense in itself (ALBEIT GRAVELY WOUNDED) in the higher-seeded Bad Dudes: 3rd in HRs and 3rd inRBIs, just one RBI back of the ‘Topes there. River City might not be as strong, at least season-long rankings wise, as Astoria in some other offensive categories but they may very well make up for it on the other side of the coin: 2nd in Ks, 3rd in QS and Ws, 1st in Saves. MUCH LIKE the 3v6 matchup this one features a more well-rounded lower seed offensively (again just due to a very unscientific review of season-long numbers that is full of holes if you really think about it) but stronger pitching just about across the board from the higher seed (the ‘Topes do boast 2 more Wins and 2 more Holds than the RCBD but that is all they got on ’em). WHAT THAT MEANS I do not know, I do not know what any of this means. I think again the key here might be the power categories, as both of these teams probably generally expect to win those two (hence being 2nd and 3rd in them both, respectively) AND YET ONLY ONE CAN WIN EACH CAT. OR THEY CAN TIE.
In the regular season the 5th seed here took BOTH matchups, beating the Bad Dudes back in Week 10 (8-4-2) and then again like two days ago in Week 18 (8-5-1). The winner here gets a date with the top-seeded MooniniteZ, and INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH the 5th-seeded Isotopes boast the only current owner to have beaten the BPMZ this season and he did it twice. The River City Bad Dudes lost both of their matchups with the MooniniteZ, and actually boast a record of something like 3-7 against all of the playoff teams I think, so they can suck on that.
WHAT TO WATCH FOR: LOBMAN’S DELICIOUS TEARS OVER THE BRYCE HARPER INJURY. Bryce Harper is very good we all know that. And what SOME OF US KNOW (or have decided) is that this franchise’s last title was entirely a product of Bryce’s epic 2015 season, in the same way that your author’s lone fantasy football championship coincided with CJ2K. The Isotopes already boost a formidable offense and it is no doubt a devastating blow for the Bad Dudes to be without their Baddest Dude in this matchup, so look out for the waterworks if things aren’t going the 4 seeds way in this one come sayyyyy Saturday evening-ish. It is easy to get dehydrated in the thin Colorado air and Lobman will be at a serious risk if he is losing water through his tears. Is all I am saying.
AND SO THE STAGE……….HAS BEEN SET. BUT FOR REAL THIS TIME, THE BACKYARD BRACKET HAS BEEN COMPLETED AND THE BACKYARD CHAMPIONSHIP LEAGUE’S (BCL) 2017 PLAYOFFS ARE UNDERWAY AND WHO WILL MAKE THE BCS (BACKYARD CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES)? I KNOW I HAVE MY GUESSES. APOLOGIES TO THE FOUR LOSERS WHO ARE ALREADY GUARANTEED NOT TO MAKE SAID BCS, YOU HAVE ONLY YOURSELVES AND THE CRUELTY OF FANTASY SPORTS AND RANDOM CHANCE AND LUCK TO BLAME. FUCK Y’ALL. BYBR1 TUNE IN……………….
WEEK 17 CAME AND WENT AND AFTERWARDS WE HAVE OUR FIRST FOUR SEEDS ALL LOCKED UP HERE: THE MOONINITEZ WILL REMAIN THE #1 SEED, WHICH IS WHERE THEY HAVE BEEN SINCE ROUGHLY THE BEGINNING OF JUNE. THEY WILL BE JOINED IN THE FIRST ROUND BYE…..BY…. THE BARNEGAT BANANA SLUGS, A TEAM THAT SAW THEIR IMPRESSIVE 5 GAME WIN STREAK SNAPPED (see below) BUT ALSO A TEAM THAT HASN’T LOST SINCE LIKE MID-JUNE (SO LIKE A 6 WEEK NON-LOSING STREAK, SEE BELOW I TOLD YOU ALREADY!). BEHIND THESE TWO ARE THE POINT LOMA X-RAYZ AND RIVER CITY BAD DUDES JOSTLING FOR THE 3 AND 4 SEEDS, AND BEHIND THOSE TWO ARE FOUR TEAMS BATTLING FOR THE FINAL TWO SPOTS. LET’S LOOK BELOW AND SEE HOW WE GOT TO THIS POINT……
(Editor’s Note: All the stuff I have said about the Bad Dudes having clinched the 4th at worst is a lie because he is a disappointment, TURNS OUT he can drop lower if the ‘Topes take em to town the way they took em to town in that HR Derby…..)
MVP: Elvis Andrus – A slew of solid performances from the X-Rayz bats but Elvis went out and swatted 7 DOUBLES on the way to a .500 OBP and that helped the X-Rayz set the season record for doubles and that shall be commended herein. 14/29, 3 Rs, 7 2Bs, 1 HR, 3 RBIs, .500 OBP
LVP:Xander Bogaerts– Sure you stole a base and hit a two bagger and scored twice but what ELSE did you really do Xander? And also fuck you ya dirty Red Sawk. 5/21, 2 Rs, 1 2B, 1 SB, .273 OBP
X-Rayz Hitter Of Note:Lorenzo Cain CONTINUES to put up his best season since that season that I used to flip him and a draft pick for Joey Votto (10/24, 5 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 RBIs, 4 SBs, .440 OBP).
X-Rayz Pitcher Of Note: Anddd the shark man Jeff Samardzija continues his up and down season, has rebounded nicely in his past 3 starts after getting rocked twice in a row by the lowly Padres (14.1 IP, 6 ER, 8 Ks, 2 QS, 2 Ws, 3.77 ERA).
Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note: I had a hard time deciding amongst the bad performers for Lobman’s LVP so let’s ignore Wilson Contrera’s 5 HRs/13 RBIs to highlight Rougned Odor‘s continuing efforts to chase down Alcides Escobar for baseball’s worst OBP (5/29, 4 Rs, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs, .172 OBP).
Bad Dudes Pitcher Of Note: On the positives end Ervin Santana tossed up YET ANOTHER CG, the Bad Dudes will be rather pleased with themselves if he can repeat the feat in the playoffs (9 IP, 2 ER, 9 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1 CG, 2.00 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: Don’t let this score fool you this one was a bit more lopsided than it even appears, as the Bad Dudes offense waited til Sunday to get going and the X-Rayz offense was fairly solid throughout (except for RBIs, where they failed to clear the 40+ plateau I have taken a liking to mentioning). But yes a bit of a wire to wire beatdown by Point Loma, en route to scoring 8 more Runs than any other team in the league and hitting 9 more Doubles than any other team. The X-Rayz also displayed downright PROWESS with their bullpen numbers, 8 Saves 4 Holds, and used their bullpen and their speedsters to go a tidy 5-2 on each side of the CAT COIN. The Bad Dudes actually had a strong power showing in 17, 19 HRs 54 RBIs, accounting for the two cats they took there. And with this impressive victory, the 2nd most impressive victory against Lobman this week (the first being Mikey T’s captivating performance to steal the HR Derby crown #BelieveTheSleeve), the X-Rayz swap placed with the Bad Dudes and slot into 3rd place in the Backyard Bracket. The X-Rayz simply need to beat the 10th place Morning Wood in Week 18 to hold onto that position (a Bad Dudes loss would accomplish the same) and MORE IMPORTANTLY slot on the opposite side of the oleeee Backyard Bracket from yours truly. For the River City Bad Dudes, they head into Week 18 having already clinched the 4 seed I THINK needing a win to hold onto the 4 seed at worst and also to attempt to knock out their HR Derby nemesis and his Astoria Isotopes.
Next Week aka This Week: X-Rayz @ Morning Wood (#3 v. #10), Bad Dudes vs. Isotopes (#4 v. # GOD KNOWS anywhere from 5-8)
MVP: Mike Trout – Mike Trout is back to being Mike Trout, he’s so insanely good that I keep avoiding putting his picture up for these things. HE IS LIKE THE PROPHET MUHAMMAD IN THAT WAY. 10/22, 6 Rs, 1 2B, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs, 1 SB, .571 OBP
LVP:Patrick Corbin – The ‘Topes got saddled with the bad Patrick Corbin start in Week 17. And yes I am only giving him this so I can give him an MVP later on (SPOILER ALERT). 3 IP, 7 ER, 3 Ks, 21.00 ERA
OGTFC Hitter Of Note:Yasiel Puig one of a few different trade deadline acquisitions that came through for the OGTFC this week (Dozier 3 HRs, Verlander SEE BELOW) so they are really getting some bang for their buck at least (6/20, 7 Rs, 2 2Bs, 2 HRs, 2 RBIs, 1 SBs, .417 OBP).
OGTFC Pitcher Of Note:Justin Verlander looked absolutely cooked at a few different points this season but now here we are in early August and he’s rattled off 4 straight QS and 5 outta his last 6 (7 IP, 2 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 2.57 ERA).
Isotopes Hitter Of Note: Heyyyy Cody Bellinger, nearly forgot about this guy ever since he ever so slightly slowed down his HR pace (6/25, 5 Rs, 4 HRs, 6 RBIs, 1 SB, .269 OBP).
Isotopes Pitcher Of Note:Cole Hamels has been pretty good this year TAKE NOTE PEOPLE, I’ll always be a fan (15 IP, 3 ER, 12 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 1 CG, 1.80 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: GOOD GOD we are nearing the Mark of the Beast playoffs scenario we have all feared, as the OGTFC continue to stumble their way towards somehow sneaking into the fuckin’ dance here despite a hideous affront to nature of a record (2-3-3 over their last 8). And worst of all PLAYING PRETTY WELL, as they managed to outslug this season’s top sluggling team (albeit on a bit of a down week for the ‘Topes) and managed to pitch rather effectively (85 Ks, 8 QS, 5 Ws, 5 Saves, 3 Holds, 3.012 ERA, 2nd best mark of the week in ERA and t-2nd best mark for QS and Holds) which hasn’t exactly been a calling card for their titular defensular season. Their one blemish this week was their RBI total, they had the fewest runs batted in for Week 17 but I doubt they much give a shit about that. And for the ‘Topes this is yet another week that fell short of their usually lofty slugging standards; while 13 HRs 40 RBIs certainly aren’t anything to sneeze at, they speak to a team a bit out of rhythm down the stretch here. The Isotopes season-long numbers certainly paint the picture of a team that can’t exactly pitch itself to victory and that showed itself to be the case here, with a Cole HamelsCG representing their only cat win on the pitching side of things (also tied in Wins). The Isotopes could have used this one to possibly climb up the bracket and put the nail in the OGTFC coffin but INSTEAD they now find themselves currently listed as the 7th seed, AND THE OGTFC ARE VERY MUCH ALIVE. The Fishing Club arrive at Week 18 with a huuuuuge matchup awaiting them, a battle with Rojo’s Renegade Force. The Astoria Isotopes find themselves in a huge matchup pretty much only for them though, when they take on the River City Bad Dudes and attempt to beat the Bad Dudes brass twice in 8 days (THE FIRST TIME BEING THAT SENSATIONAL HR DERBY VICTORY).
Next Week aka This Week: OGTFC vs. RRF (WHO KNOWS THEY ARE BOTH FIGHTING FOR THEIR PLAYOFF LIVES I THINK CURRENTLY THEY ARE LISTED AS EIGHTH AND FIFTH), Isotopes vs. Bad Dudes (#4 v. likeeee #7 or something, this is all kinda confusing currently)
MVP: Paul Goldschmidt – Pauly G is arrrrrrguably the top player in fantasy this particular season but also that is maybe Charlie Blackmon but also maybe we should just wait for THE PLAYER RATER AWARDS (be forewarned those things go a bit nuts with their love of the SB, I AM JUST SAYIN’). 6/21, 7 Rs, 5 HRs, 9 RBIs, .400 OBP ***MVP OF THE WEEK***
LVP:Joey Gallo – Not muchhh outta Gallo in Week 16, as he continues to straddle that .200 or so batting average line all goddamned season. 3/14, 2 RBIs, .313 OBP
RRF Hitter Of Note: Apologies to Joey Gallo and his 5 HR/10 RBI week but Chris TaylorJROLL EVERYBODY (8/25, 9 Rs, 1 2B, 1 3B, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs, 1 SB, .370 OBP).
RRF Pitcher Of Note:Corey Kluber continues his ass kickery (9 IP, 1 ER, 11 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1 CG, 1.00 ERA).
BDSliderz Hitter Of Note: Also ALEX BREGMANJROLL EVERYBODY and a BEAUT but also too bad you lost no MVP consideration for you (10/26, 7 Rs, 4 2Bs, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 9 RBIs, 3 SBs, .452 OBP).
BDSliderz Pitcher Of Note: The Phillies can’t seem to get Aaron Nola a W but he is still good again and ’twas a good pickup for the BDSliderz and good good good (13 IP, 4 ER, 10 Ks, 2 QS, 2.77 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: In perhaps the most important battle of Week 17 for playoffs type stuff, and the most important battle to date in 2017 for each of these teams cuz that is kinda how this works the battles get more important as time goes on…..anyways…..I forget where I was, but Rojo’s Renegade Force won a MUST WIN here and gained the important Season Series Sweep over the Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz. Is what happened here. The Renegade Force continued their strong play of late (4-1-1 in their last 6) and as a result they continue to control their own destiny. This latest victory was achieved through strong power numbers (20 HRs, 63 RBIs both tops in the league for the week) and good enough pitching (particularly the Klubez CG) and just basically holding on for dear life on Sunday as Lacey attempted to mount a bit of a comeback, lead by a pitching staff that rattled off 3 QS but 0 Wins (BDSliderz would win QS 9-8, lose Wins 7-4). An Alex Bregman triple helped the LTBS tie that cat but couldn’t get them to tie the week, but GOT A JROLL so yanno……maybe that is what matters most here. Rojo’s Renegade Force knows their work is not done, however, as they now head into another must win when they take on last year’s champs in Week 18. The Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz also find themselves in a can’t lose scenario when they host the Barnegat Banana Slugs, who already have their position in the Backyard Bracket set in stone. So it will be interesting to see how they play that one, LEAGUE INTEGRITY AND ALL.
Next Week aka This Week: RRF @ OGTFC (oh whatfuckingever just wait a week it will sort itself out), BDSliderz vs. Banana Slugs (OhWhatFuckingEver v. #2)
MVP: Eduardo Nunez – GOD THIS IS SO WEIRD giving the Morning Wood an MVP. And weirdly enough, that MVP is also Eduardo Nunez. Weird weird weird. 11/28, 4 Rs, 4 2Bs, 2 HRs, 9 RBIs, 2 SBs, .393 OBP ***MVP OF THE WEEK*** CUZ I MEAN THIS IS A MORNING WOOD VICTORY HERE
LVP:Manuel Margot – Manny Margot getting the extended tryout with the Titans as they look for possible 2018 pieces, and he wasn’t all that great I guess but WAS OKAY. 3/14, 2 RBIs, .313 OBP
Morning Wood Hitter Of Note: GOD THIS IS SO WEIRD having their team go first, but yes Justin Upton also helped contribute to this historic week (7/25, 5 Rs, 2 2Bs, 4 HRs, 11 RBIs, .267 OBP).
Morning Wood Pitcher Of Note: They had a debut from their team’s future (Erick Fedde) that I could note but instead I want to note Jacob Fariawho CONTINUES to be real good for the Rays, so good that I’ll probably try and acquire him with yet another overpay to the QTC this very off-season (6 IP, 1 ER, 9 Ks, 1 QS, 1.50 ERA).
Titans Hitter Of Note:Tim Beckham, another guy getting himself a tryout for the Titans, HAD HIMSELF A WEEK with 14 gotdamned hits great time to finally give up on him Tampa (14/24, 6 Rs, 3 2Bs, 1 3B, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs, .600 OBP).
Titans Pitcher Of Note:Chris Sale got hit the hardest he’s been hit all season and, as with all Red Sawks, good fuck him (5 IP, 5 ER, 7 Ks, 12.60 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: WHAT CAN REALLY BE SAID HERE?! The last time the Morning Wood won a game Richard Nixon was president. That isn’t true but I wish it was, particularly considering the ineptitude of the current administration. But lets not get all political this is about the AM Bonerz triumph, a triumph they maybe couldn’t have risen to (hehe) without the help of the Titans (only started 7, probably paid little to not attention to the proceedings, etc. etc.) but A TRIUMPH NONETHELEAD. The Morning Wood rose to the occasion (hehe) in what was possibly their last decent chance at a win in the 2017 season by posting PRETTY GOOD across the board numbers that would have given plenty of teams some trouble, I’ll highlight the category wins here: 49 Runs, 18 Doubles, 19 HRs, 48 RBIs, 86 Ks, 6 Saves. High quality numbers, certainly good enough to beat a Titans franchise that is in a bit of a tryouts phase at best here. The Titans only started 7 AND I HOPE THEY REALIZE the symbolism, failing to start 12 in a few other matchups is maybe the reason they aren’t in this jumbled mess of a playoff picture to begin with. Chew on THAT Ryan. Anyways, both of these teams will play other teams in Week 18 and what they do in those games will not matter. Actually this isn’t entirely true, the Morning Wood can look to possibly knock the X-Rayz down to 4th and grab their SECOND 2 game win streak of the year and their first since the first two weeks of the goddamned year. So that is something to play for. The Toms River Titans take on the already-clinched-first-place Manchester MooniniteZ and FORTUNATELY that is the case because 1) I didn’t really want to have to participate in Week 18 I was looking ahead to 20 already and 2) We might have seen a meltdown if the Titans didn’t start 12 and gave us the 1 seed. Not gonna name names. Fortunately none of that will be the case and now it is debatable if these two teams will even COMBINE for 12 starts. BUT WE ARE OFF THE RAILS HERE, AGAIN THIS IS ALL ABOUT THE Q-TIP CITY MORNING WOOD, CONGRATULATIONS ON WIN NUMBER THREE Q-TIP CITY MORNING WOOD.
Next Week aka This Week: Morning Wood vs. X-Rayz (#10 v. #3), Titans @ MooniniteZ (#9 v. #1)
2017 WEEK 17 GAME OF THE WEEK, SPONSORED BY THIS KEWL GAME OF THE WEEK THING AGAIN
MVP: Patrick Corbin – Patrick Corbin pulled a realllll fucking magic trick that ended up being the difference this week, as by the time late Sunday rolled around a lot of Ks were needed and a QS was needed in order for the MooniniteZ to salvage a tie and he delivered BOTH. The magical part is he actually gave up 6 Runs and we just got enough luck with the way the errors worked out to grab the QS and grab the tie, which is swell. 6 IP, 3 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 4.50 ERA
LVP:Trevor Story– VINDICATION I TELL YOU! 3/18, 1 R, 1 SB, .211 OBP ***LVP OF THE WEEK***
MooniniteZ Hitter Of Note: Joey Votto is good, currently has a .469 second half OBP second only to Paul Goldschmidt who is better (9/19, 4 Rs, 2 2Bs, 2 HRs, 7 RBIs, .583 OBP).
MooniniteZ Pitcher Of Note: Jimmy Nelson has quietly been dealing and even though he gets NO RESPECK around these parts I have been happy to have him aboard, save it for Round 2 Jimmy (14 IP, 3 ER, 16 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 1.93 ERA).
Banana Slugs Wood Hitter Of Note: Josh Donaldson for like the first time all season kinda looking a bit like himself, BETTER LATE THAN NEVER SAVE IT FOR ROUND TWO J-DON (6/21, 6 Rs, 2 2Bs, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs, .429 OBP).
Banana Slugs Pitcher Of Note: And in other good news for the Slugs, Luis Severino he a beast (11.2 IP, 2 ER, 17 Ks, 1 QS, 2 Ws, 1.54 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: WELL THAT SETTLES THAT. The Manchester (or whatever they are eventually named) MooniniteZ will be your #1 seed, and by virtue of tying this one rather than winning or losing this one the Barnegat Banana Slugs are locked in as your #2. This one was a helluva battle folks, I know ‘cuz I was there. Runs bounced back and forth all weekend (da Slugs would pull away Sunday and win this Cat 40-37) and upon briefly grabbing the lead due to Matt Carpenter triple Manchester ended up RELINQUISHING said lead after 3 Sunday Holds came pouring outta the Barnegat bullpen. This put the MooniniteZ in a sitch where they basically needed 6 Ks and a QS from Patrick Corbin just to eke out a tie, and as you may have read above they got 10 Ks and a QS and BOOM ballgame (Kenley would add 3 Ks later as Kenley sometimes does). Despite losing a chance at the #1 seed the Slugs have to be feeling pretty okay with a tie here, as they clinch a bye and now get to sit back and relax in the Backyard Championship League’s First Round and really the 1 seed vs. 2 seed thing might only matter if they end up tying the MooniniteZ again in the BCS and LET US NOT GET AHEAD OF OURSELVES HERE. For now, both these teams will be at their leisure for the next two weeks. TECHNICALLY the Manchester MooniniteZ will be playing the 9th place Titans in Week 18 and maybe they want to set some sort of win percentage record for the new 18 game format but also maybe they don’t give a shit either way. The Barnegat Banana Slugs have a more interesting matchup, as they take on a Lacey Twp team that really would like to win in order to get themselves into the Backyard’s Big Dance. The Banana Slugs can ruin that, and the Banana Slugs still have a 6 week uhhh not losing streak and can tie the season high streak of 7 (set by ME) with a tie or a win. If that sort of thing matters, not sure it does. Pretty sure it doesn’t. The point is the Slugs MooniniteZ and X-Rayz all have had 5 week winning streaks and of those three the Slugs have lost uhhh least recently. But they also didn’t beat me this season. ALMOST NONE OF YOU DID (yet). So….. nana nana boo boo.
Next Week aka This Week: MooniniteZ vs. Titans (#1 v. #9), Banana Slugs @ BDSliderz (#2 v. # WhoFuckingKnowsAtThisJuncture)
AND SO THE STAGE……….HAS BEEN SET. TOP 4 SEEDS ALL BUT FIGURED OUT, ALTHOUGH THE X-RAYZ CAN STILL SURRENDER THE THREE SEED IF THE BONERZ SOMEHOW WIN TWO WEEKS IN A ROW (HIGHLY UNLIKELY). AND THEN YOU HAVE FOUR TEAMS BATTLING IT OUT FOR THE FINAL TWO PLAYOFF SPOTS. TRULY BEAUTIFUL. ALMOST AS BEAUTIFUL AND DOWN TO THE WIRE AS MIKEY T’S THRILLING WIFFLE BALL HR DERBY VICTORY. TUNE INTO WEEK 18 FOR SIMILAR THRILLS AND CHILLS AND LESS ELBOW INJURIES, AS WE WILL BE SITTING THIS ONE OUT AS WELL (AND ROUND 1, SITTING THAT ONE OUT TOO)
Backyard Rules and Regulations
EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY…although I understand it’s very VERY late in the season. However most of these rules and protocols are known and just not put down in ink somewhere MUCH TO MIKEY T’S DISMAY. So without further adieu…..
Over 12 starts
Beginning in 2018, starting more than 12 pitchers will result in an automatic disqualification if you win or tie a matchup, as well as a roster lock for that day and the following day. Starting more than 12 pitchers in a losing matchup will result in a roster lock for that day and the following day as well as that opponent being allowed to pick one start for you to bench during your next matchup with them. Decision on who to bench must be decided by 5 minutes before roster lock on the Sunday of the matchup. Any owner that exceeds 12 starts in Week 18 or during the playoffs will be disqualified and will have their rosters locked from the moment of the violation until the following Opening Day. Current rule posted during 2017 still applies for 2017.
All Star Week Matchup Start Limit
The All Star Week Matchup start limit is 24. Owners are free to make an agreement with their opponent on a lowered start limit. Any disputes between owners over a start agreement will be handled by league offices.
Additions to the policies in place
– Owners selecting a player to be benched by their opponent for violating the minor league policy must select their player 3 minutes before first pitch of said players game.
– All minor league strikes reset the day after the BCS Series concludes. Multi year violations totals can and will be held against you.
– Beginning Opening Day 2018, all 2 and 3 strike offenders of the minor league policy will lose their 1st round pick in the following Spring Draft.
– Any owner that accumulates 5 violations over any time period will not be allowed to participate in any Backyard draft for 1 calendar year, beginning on the day of the 5th violation.
– The intention to claim or pass on a rights player once they reach the ESPN system must be declared by the owner of their rights within 1 hour of roster lock on the day the player reaches the system. If the owner is unaware of the player reaching the system for more than 24 hours, the decision must be made within 1 hour of them finding out the player is in the system.
– The current legislation states: – All teams must maintain a total of 8 minor leaguers at all times barring a trade, DL move involving a minor league player, or the day a player exceeds minor league limits. In this instance, the team will have until the next First Pitch Roster Lock to become compliant. All teams MUST ALWAYS maintain at least 8 minor league players.
We shall be altering that. Teams may be non-compliant on the day any player comes off of the DL up until roster lock. They no longer need to be minor leaguers only. The rule now applies to major leaguers as well. Offseason Minor League Compliance Owners that are eliminated from the postseason may allow their current minor league players to exceed the maximums up until 24 hours before the Spring Draft. These owners can not make any trades or adds until they make their roster compliant.
Gross Owner Negligence Clause aka The Unwritten Rule That Must Now Be Written Cuz Someone Went And Abused It
An owner may petition to the league office once (1) every 2 calendar years to have a player added back to their roster after having dropped them. Petition must be filed within 1 hour of the disputed transaction. Player must have been owned by team for over 1 calendar year to be eligible for petition.
I do believe that covers it (for now). The loopholes never stop, so please send any suggestions or comments towards the Commissioners Office.
WEEK 16 SAW THE NL KINDA GET BACK ON ITS GAME, WITH THE ONLY NL TEAM TO LOSE BEING THE MORNING WOOD BECAUSE DUH. IT ALSO SAW THE MATCHUPS BREAKING IN A WAY THAT MIGHT MAKE FOR MAXIMUM CARNAGE IN WEEK 18. SO MUCH SO THAT I AM NOT SURE I WILL BE ABLE TO FOLLOW IT WHEN I SUMMARIZE THE MATCHUPS BELOW, BUT I WILL TRY I GUESS. AND THEN WE WILL HAVE TO GET PAST WEEK 17 FIRST. BIG MATCHUPS ALL AROUND FROM HERE ON OUT, FIRST LET US DISCUSS 16……
MVP: Carlos Santana – After disappointing with the HR numbers pretty much all season and being publicly put on the trade block by Lacey Twp at least a couple of times, Santana responds with a 4 HR week in an important late season matchup. KOOKY GAME, this fantasy baseball.Marcel Ozuna – No wait this is Ozuna once again, THE SANTANA PICTURE STAYS THOUGH. 8/27, 6 Rs, 5 2Bs, 1 3B, 1 HR, 10 RBIs, .387 OBP
LVP:Wil Myers– Myers with a very poor performance (presumably) RIGHT around the time that the Isotopes were furiously shopping him at the deadline. I have no idea if they actually were but I feel like they could have been, things I’ve seen in the chat etc. etc. Anyways Myers didn’t do good here. 2/17, 1 R, 1 2B, 2 RBIs, .200 OBP
BDSliderz Pitcher Of Note:Jacob DeGrom continues to delight his fantasy owner, as his fantasy owner is also a sad saddddd Mets fan (14 IP, 4 ER, 18 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 2.57 ERA).
Isotopes Hitter Of Note: VERY DOWN WEEK for the ‘Topes but at least Mike Moustakas is still hitting the ball very well (5/21, 4 Rs, 2 HRs, 7 RBIs, .250 OBP).
Isotopes Pitcher Of Note: Also German Marquezcontinues to pitch very well on all these different times that the ‘Topes have added and then dropped him (7 IP, 2 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 2.57 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: I mean sure I listed the score in a serious manner up above but make no mistake LACEY REALLY DID A FUCKING NUMBER ON THE ‘TOPES, who picked an inopportune time to forget that chicks dig the long ball. This was the first time the ‘Topes didn’t have double digit HRs SINCE WEEK ONE folks, which is somewhat impressive. Equally impressive is the across the board offensive domination seen from the BackdoorSliderz in this one: 53 Rs, 23 2Bs, 3 3Bs, 17 HRs, 49 RBIs, 7 SBs, .3517OBP.Very strong numbers across the board there, and the proof of that lies in the fact that the ‘Topes weren’t able to top any of ’em. The bats went quiet in Astoria that night. And by “that night” I mean for 7 consecutive days and nights. Fewest Runs in the league for Astoria in Week 16 (30) also worst OBP (.3013), also shitty RBIs (35) total . OH WELL. Going forward, Lacey Twp. lands in uhhh Rojoville for a YUGE matchup with the Renegade Force. A loss to RRF and Rojo gains the pivotal season series sweep so A GAME TO WATCH. Oh and the Isotopes are hosting the OGTFC and looking to put the nail in their 2016 coffin. BEST MAN SCHMEST SCHMAN.
Next Week aka This Week: BDSliderz @ RRF (#5 v. #7), Isotopes vs. OGTFC (#6 v. #8)
MVP: Andrew McCutchen – Cutch was on his way to a solid but unspectacular week until Sunday rolled around, and on Sunday he PUT THE RRF TO BED with a 3 HR performance. 6/21, 7 Rs, 5 HRs, 9 RBIs, .400 OBP ***MVP OF THE WEEK***
LVP:Joey Gallo – Not muchhh outta Gallo in Week 16, as he continues to straddle that .200 or so batting average line all goddamned season. 3/14, 2 RBIs, .313 OBP
MooniniteZ Hitter Of Note:Steven Souza finally putting together a season that can make the Rays feel a wee bit better about that terrible deal he came over in (7/25, 5 Rs, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs, 3 SBs, .400 OBP).
MooniniteZ Pitcher Of Note:James Paxton seems to be back to business and this is good news considering how not back to business McCullers has been AND NOW HE IS ON THE DL OH KEWL (13 IP, 0 ER, 18 Ks, 2 QS, 2 Ws, 0.00 ERA).
RRF Hitter Of Note: A tough week for the RRF offense and Kyle Schwarber tried his hardest to help and ended up traded for his troubles (5/11, 2 Rs, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 5 RBIs, .538 OBP).
RRF Pitcher Of Note: Jesus I didn’t even know about this one til now, but HAVE YOURSEL A GAME Masahiro Tanaka (8 IP, 1 ER, 14 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.13 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: And with that, THE SOON TO BE RELOCATED (as long as Rojo stops disappointing me, you brought this loss upon yourself) MANCHESTER MOONINITEZ clinch a bye in this year’s playoffs. So it’s like winning twice, cuz fuck Manchester and fuck Rojo for dillydallying on getting me outta there. And also quite frankly it’s going to be really hard for the MooniniteZ to drop the #1 seed but let’s leave that intact for drama’s sake. This victory was achieved by AS USUAL playing RRF tough in the Holds cat and FOR A CHANGE AT LEAST LATELY pitching well (99 Ks, 8 Ws, 3.012 ERA after posting a 5.629 ERA in Week 15). And even with the 4-1-2 edge in the pitching cats this one came down to the weekend with many an offensive cat up for grabs. But from Friday through Sunday the Mooninitez did 22 Rs 9 HRs 21 RBIs, (thanks Cutch), and the Renegade Force did 17 Rs 3 HRs 19 RBIs and that’s how The Bye Was Bought folks. In Week 17 the MooniniteZ will look to halt a SEASON HIGH win streak in Barnegat while at the same time clinching the #1 seed, so the work is not done. Rojo’s Renegade Force will need to rebound in a must-win battle against the BackdoorSliderz, a win gets them the all important SSS. EVERY MATCHUP IS IMPORTANT WEEK 17 IS FUN.
Next Week aka This Week: MooniniteZ @ Banana Slugs (#1 v. #2), RRF vs. BDSliderz (#8 v. #5)
MVP: Ryan Zimmerman – The Zimm Mannnnn does it once again, as he continues the renaissance season that continues to help the Slugs continue to win. Continually. 7/20, 5 Rs, 1 2B, 4 HRs, 9 RBIs, .381 OBP
LVP:Logan Morrison– Logan Morrison I would say YA BLEW IT but yanno, I am not sure how invested anyone is in the Morning Wood season at this point. So carry on. 1/12, 1 RBI, .154 OBP
Banana Slugs Hitter Of Note: Johnny fucking Schoop keeps Schoopin along, a really damn fine season for this guy(6/22, 6 Rs, 1 2B, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs, .370 OBP).
Banana Slugs Pitcher Of Note:Jon Gray did pretttty good in Week 16 despite no wins to show for it, particularly in his visit to Washington to take on that tricky Nats offense (12 IP, 5 ER, 14 Ks, 1 QS, 3.75 ERA).
Morning Wood Hitter Of Note: In the brightest news maybe ever received in Q-Tip City HEY LOOK JD Martinez seemed to like his new digs last week(7/30, 7 Rs, 5 HRs, 12 RBIs, .281 OBP).
Morning Wood Pitcher Of Note: And also Zack Greinke did SO GOOD that the Morning Wood must be convinced these good times shall last forever and he was not traded and I guess now he is the (baby) face of this franchise (15 IP, 3 ER, 15 Ks, 2 QS, 2 Ws, 1.80 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: I mean I really just don’t know how many times I can write about the Pre-Noon Erections losing another week, but let’s give it a go. THE BARNEGAT BANANA SLUGS ARE ON FIRE FOLKS, seemingly playing their best baseball right around the best time in the year to do so. This one makes it 5 straight and while I am sure there was times it maybe seemed in doubt, to me it was probably never really in doubt. The Slugs pitched a gem with 8 QS 8 Ws (tied for league high) and a 2.641 ERA (league high). The Bonerz had a 5.090 ERA. The Slugs failed to reach the 40 RBI plateau that I declared a thing but so did a bunch of other teams in Week 16, the Bonerz actually were pretty good in that department with 49 RBIs. All in all just too uneven a performance from Q-Tip City to grab that elusive third win, especially from a team as locked in as Barnegat. The Banana Slugs will look to set a 2016 league high with a sixth straight win in Week 17, one that could set them up for the possibility of the #1 seed and would certainly go a long way towards securing at least one of the two byes for their team. AS I STATED ABOVE I always figured Barnegat would get their 5th straight win and am prepared for the challenge thusly. As for the last-place Morning Wood, they take on the second-to-last place Titans in Week 17. OKAY SO NOT EVERY MATCHUP IS IMPORTANT, THIS IS THE ONLY ONE THOUGH.
Next Week aka This Week: Banana Slugs vs. MooniniteZ ( #2 v. #1), Morning Wood @ Titans (#10 v. #9)
MVP: Yoenis Cespedes – Yo did a littttttle bit of everything in Week 16, everything THAT IS except steal a base. A week without JROLLS is a sad week indeed. NO JROLL HERE. 9/27, 5 Rs, 2 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 1 HR, 5 RBIs, .379 OBP
LVP:Cam Bedrosian– Cam Bedrosian BAD BULLPEN WORK. VERY BAD BULLPEN WORK. 1.1 IP, 6 ER, 1 Ks, 40.50 ERA
Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note: Rougned Odor out here trying to pull up his shit-tastic OBP one week at a time (8/24, 5 Rs, 1 2B, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs, .385 OBP).
Bad Dudes Pitcher Of Note: Craig Kimbrel recorded 7 of his 8 outs in Week 16 via the strikeout LETS MAKE A NOTE OF IT (2.2 IP, 0 ER, 7 Ks, 1 Save, 0.00 ERA).
Titans Hitter Of Note: Christian Yelich had a reallllll good week in a losing effor (10/29, 9 Rs, 5 2Bs, 3 HRs, 8 RBIs, 1 SB, .406 OBP).
Titans Pitcher Of Note: Yu Darvish, on the other hand, got himself massacred by the Marlins (3.2 IP, 10 ER, 5 Ks, 24.55 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: What could have been, if the Titans weren’t so banged up and didn’t hand other teams free wins earlier in the season which makes their current games all but meaningless. What could have. been. The Titans limped into Week 16 with aces hitting the DL left and right, and in the end I am going to credit that for the Bad Dudes razor-thin 4.537 to 4.539 ERA victory. BUT THE BAD DUDES ALSO WON OTHER CATEGORIES, let us not sell them short. They won Saves 7-3, Saves being a strong point for this team all season and continuing despite their Osuna for Herrera swap (Herrera had 4 Saves last week for the Royals are HOT). And the Bad Dudes put up a real solid offensive line, just reallll solid: 49 Runs (tied for 3rd best of the week), 21 2Bs (best in week), 2 3Bs, 17 HRs (tied for best in week), 51 RBIs (2nd best in week), .3582 OBP. The steals still lagged behind, with only 2, but the Bad Dudes were able to go 6-1 on the offensive side and with the Titans pitching staff a-hurtin that was more than good enough. STEAL MORE BASES THOUGH DUDES. With this win behind them the Bad Dudes move on to a SOMEWHAT BIG Week 17 matchup with Point Loma, a mere half game separating the two teams. With this loss behind them the Titans are basically in the same spot they were in already, they now take on the 10th place team and maybe give that team a glimmering hope of a 3rd win before the year is done. MAYBE. I mean like only if they don’t really pay attention due to it not mattering for anyone if they pay attention.
Next Week aka This Week: Bad Dudes @ X-Rayz (#3 v. #4), Titans vs. Morning Wood (#9 v. #10)
2017 WEEK 16 MATCHUP OF THE WEEK, SPONSORED BY THIS KEWL GAME OF THE WEEK THING THAT I JUST STOLE OFF GOOGLE IMAGES….MAYBE I NEED TO CHANGE THIS TO GAME OF THE WEEK. 2017 WEEK 16 GAME OF THE WEEK
MVP: Corey Seager – ‘Twas a bottom o’ the 11th double from Seager that tied this matchup up and gave the OGTFC YET ANOTHER TIE and so he is your MVP here. Curse you, Corey Seager. Curse you. 11/25, 5 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 3 RBIs, .481 OBP
LVP:Mark Trumbo– Mark Trumbo was abominable. No its ands or buts about it. And then yesterday he got put on the DL. BET THE X-RAYZ WISH IT WAS LAST MONDAY AMIRITE?! 1/21, .091 OBP ***LVP OF THE WEEK***
OGTFC Hitter Of Note: Anthony Rizzo nearrrrrly pulled off the JROLL BUT HE DIDN’T, and he also skipped Sunday’s game with a sore back (7/19, 4 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 HR, 5 RBIs, 1 SB, .571 OBP).
OGTFC Pitcher Of Note: And Gerrit Cole had another one of those lovely two start weeks that he’s been mixing in this season, I certainly recall one against my squad (13 IP, 3 ER, 12 Ks, 2 QS, 2 Ws, 2.08 ERA).
X-Rayz Wood Hitter Of Note: Lorenzo Cain so closeeeee to the JROLL but he was too high and mighty to steal a base last week, there were no JROLLS is what I have been trying to tell you people (11/28, 8 Rs, 1 2B, 1 3B, 1 HR, 3 RBIs, .414 OBP).
X-Rayz Pitcher Of Note: And also Luis Castillo has been pretty fucking lights out thus far, I kinda wish I acquired him as we all should at the moment (13 IP, 4 ER, 8 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 2.77 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: I didn’t break character above to describe the tie with more colorful language but MAN I probably should have, this one was a fucking tough one for X-Rayz fans as the OGTFC once again escape with a tie they have no business escaping with. To do it the needed ELEVEN INNINGS outta the Sunday night game, with Yasiel Puig delivering a crushing RBI (both for Giants and X-Rayz fans) in the 9th to bring this matchup to 6-5-3 and then Corey Seager delivering the DAGGER DOUBLE in the bottom of the goddamned 11th to bring this matchup to 5-5-4 and bring OceanGate another god forsaken tie in their god forsaken season. And LET US ADDRESS THE ASIAN IN THE ROOM, the X-Rayz did indeed choose to sit Ryu in this game in order to protect a slim ERA lead (the X-Rayz won 3.746-3.780) and this did indeed cost them the W when Ryu went out and threw 7 shutout with 7 Ks (the X-Rayz lost Ks 77-74) but I mean c’mon…..Hyun-Jin Ryu we are talking about here. He could have just as easily given up like 5 ER in 4 IP with 2 Ks and I don’t think anybody would have been tooooo shocked, the X-Rayz still won this thing without the extra innings. AND they both were lucky it was even this close, as these were the two lowest RBI totals for the week (the OGTFC won 34-33) and they were also in like a 4 way tie for 2nd fewest HRs (11). So yea, sad that the OGTFC still have a pulse here but thems the breaks. The OGTFC will take their faint pulse to Astoria this week and they reallllly can’t afford a loss, probably can’t even afford one of those ties THEY LOVE SO FUCKING MUCH. The Point Loma X-Rayz will host the River City Bad Dudes in a pivotal game for playoff positioning; the X-Rayz haven’t quite locked up a playoff berth just yet and would be well served to try and win this one to steer them towards winning out (they get the 10th place Morning Wood in Week 18), something that could put them in that 2nd Bye if things break right. DRAMA EVERYWHERE.
Next Week aka This Week: OGTFC @ Isotopes (#8 v. #6), X-Rayz vs. Bad Dudes (#4 v. #3)
TWOOOO WEEKS TO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. THE #1 SEED CURRENTLY NOT QUITE ON THE LINE BUT VAGUELY ON THE LINE AND ALSO CAPABLE OF BEING CLINCHED THIS WEEK. A BUNCH OF OTHER THINGS THAT MAY HAPPEN WITH THE STANDINGS. STAY GLUED TO YOUR SEATS AND YOUR ROSTER LOCK TIMES EVERYBODY.
August 1st. One day into Week 17, the week before the final week of the regular season. SEVERAL teams all bunched all over the fucking place, which gives me a bit of creative licensing with the rankings here. And everyone recovering from the dust that hath settled following the trade deadline. We will acknowledge any deadline deals made and acknowledge what I think the current Power Rankings are and they will realllly skew from the current standings cuz fuck y’all and we can just get that started right now let’s do that…….
(All seasonal rankings from press time here, games through July 31st)
1- Manchester MooniniteZ (10-3-3)
YEA IT IS ME, I HAVE LOCKED UP A BYE WHILE MOST OF YOU FUCKERS HAVEN’T EVEN LOCKED UP A PLAYOFF SPOT SO DEAL WITH IT. The MooniniteZ maintain a grip on the top spot because they maintain a grip on the #1 seed and have lost a precious few games to a precious few opponents (and only one current owner, DAMN YOU TURTORAAAAAAAA), an 8 week stretch of uhhh not losing helping them wrap up the aforementioned bye. And let’s see how they did it, usually I just highlight a few cats here but fuck it this is the grand finale let’s get ’em all in there (NOW WITH MOVES!): Runs 2nd, Doubles t-6th, Triples 6th, HRs 4th, RBIs 3rd, SBs 4th, OBP 3rd, Strikeouts 1st, QS t-10th, CG t-8th, Wins 1st, Saves t-5th, Holds 5th, ERA 6th, MOVES 4th. So a bit of a balanced attack although we have CERTAINLY lost some ground in some cats relative to last month, which may explain that ugly run of Ties is what that may explain. But still competitive through and through. Except for those FUCKING Quality Starts, something we have been cursed to never be even competent at. Joey Votto has been masterful and Justin Smoak has been a SURPRISE REVELATION and Nolan Arenado leads the league in both RBIs and handsomeness by a healthy margin and even Andrew McCutchen is back to basically being Andrew McCutchen, minus the steals pace that is gone forever (9 AIN’T BAD). This team has been in command of a bid for a bye for many weeks now and CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF their owner is aware of how one wins a playoffs matchup without having to consult the owner of the Point Loma X-Rayz. ALTHOUGH I MAY DO JUST THAT IN ANY MATCHUP THAT DOESN’T PIT ME AGAINST HIM.
DEADLINE DEALS: ONE if you count the earlier int he week flipping of Alex Reyes for Felipe Rivero. Much maligned by people that wanted me to add more future pieces but WE ARE TRYING TO GET THIS DONE NOW and Reyes is useless til like 2019. I promise there will be less caps lock going forward.
2- Barnegat Banana Slugs (10-5-1)
Can’t. Deny. A current five week win streak. As much as I would like to and work in some Trevor Story digs (he’s been bad though), the Slugs have overcome all challenges and now have tied the season high win streak achieved separately by each half of the former dynamic dynastic duo (with a chance at setting a new season high win streak should they get past one of them in Week 17 SEE ABOVE). The Slugs might be masters in doing just enough to get past their opponent, for here are the ranks: Runs 7th, Doubles 8th, Triples 7th, HRs 9th, RBIs 9th, SBs 7th, OBP 6th, Strikeouts 3rd, QS 4th, CGs t-2nd, Wins 7th, Saves 3rd, Holds 3rd, ERA 5th, MOVES 9th. So A LOT of poor production on offense, perhaps propped up by prettier pitching numbers which are perhaps propped up by their bullpen optimization and uhhh Max Scherzer. The Slugs have to hope Josh Donaldson gets back on track towards the end of the season here, which would help the O a lot, and they’ve gotten quietly excellent seasons out of Jonathon Schoop, Jake Lamb, and Brett Gardner (this one got less quiet for a second there)….and also Starling Marte is back and maybe he is really good even without the cheating. But I mean fuck the point is this team has won 5 straight and who am I to criticize that. I am merely the guy scheming to stop it at 5, is who I am.
DEADLINE DEALS: NONE
3- Astoria Isotopes (8-7-1)
And we first break from standings here, as the ‘Topes are technically seeded 6th but somebody forgot to tell their offense that. It’s all built on the backs of Aaron Judge and Charlie Blackmon and Cody Bellinger and let’s see those numbers and all the rest of the numbers: Runs 5th, Doubles 10th, Triples 3rd, HRs 1st, RBIs 1st, SBs 8th, OBP 4th, Strikeouts 8th, QS 8th, CGs 7th, Wins 4th, Saves 2nd, Holds 6th, ERA 8th, MOVES 5th.FACKIN POWAH NAWMBAHS is what people from Boston would exclaim upon seeing that. The ‘Topes have reached double digit HRs in 16 of 18 weeks and have 20 more HRs than any other team and THAT is what can make them rather dangerous come playoff time. HRs are the only guaranteed uhhh 4 cat contributions (if you count OBP) and the Astoria Isotopes have em in spaaaaaaades. Also they’re the only team to beat the MooniniteZ twice and the only current owner to beat them at all and WHAT A FEAT THAT MUST BE. Perhaps for the first time in ages I am not 100% confident the Isotopes will bow out in the first round, is what I am saying here.
DEADLINE DEALS: NONE
4- River City Bad Dudes (9-6-1)
The Bad Dudes have themselves in position to once again make the playoffs and potentially make some noise in said playoffs, as they will tell you about at length if you ask “hey have you guys ever missed the playoffs and do you want to also talk about whether or not you’ve always made the 2nd round or whatfuckingever mehhhhh”. Anywho, the numbers: Runs 6th, Doubles 2nd, Triples t-4th, HRs 3rd, RBIs 4th, SBs t-10th, OBP 8th, Strikeouts 2nd, QS t-4th, CGs 5th, Wins 3rd, Saves 1st, Holds 8th, ERA 6th, MOVES 1st. TYPICAL RIVER CITY (I really haven’t tamped down on the caps lock much) with their typically solid offense, as usual not much of a threat to steal a base but a threat in most other spots. Bryce Harper and Manny Machado are no longer flirting with SBs that can be part of it, in Machado’s case he is flirting with no longer being a top talent. But he has still been okay, and Harper has been very good, and Giancarlo Stanton has been very good, and even the long-yearned-for AJ Pollock is doing enough to maintain Mike’s chub for him I am sure. So that is good. And the Bad Dudes are always a threat to get to the BCS once they reach the playoffs, so that is bad for other playoff teams. Let’s hope they fail in Round 1, because we don’t need teams reaching the BCS 3 seasons in a row ever ever ever again.Unless it is one of my teams.
DEADLINE DEALS: NONE
5- Point Loma X-Rayz (8-6-2)
Business as usual out in Point Loma, as the X-Rayz close in on yet another playoff berth using the same tried and true speed kills approach. THE NUMBERS PLEASE: Runs 4th, Doubles 5th, Triples 1st, HRs 10th, RBIs 10th, SBs 1st, OBP 9th, Strikeouts t-4th, QS 3rd, CGs 6th, Wins 5th, Saves 4th, Holds 7th, ERA 2nd, MOVES 3rd. An interesting new wrinkle here with the X-Rayz pairing elite speed with PRETTY ELITE pitching, shout out to Chris Archer and David Price and Robbie Ray. And now here is the bad news, the last two just hit the DL and who can really say for how long. And now here is the good news, Brad Peacock should slot back into the rotation following some Astros injuries I don’t want to discuss. And the other good news is uhhh that Dee Gordon and Billy Hamilton still steal a lot of bases, and the X-Rayz actually have some guys that can put up good HR/RBI numbers in any given 7 week stretch, and if the pitching holds up the speed kills strategy could propel the X-Rayz to their first playoff victory (ASIDE FROM YANNO THE MANY PLAYOFF VICTORIES WE ALREADY ACHIEVED BEFORE BEING FORCED TO DISSOLVE).
DEADLINE DEALS: NONE
6- Rojo’s Renegade Force (7-8-1)
Rojo’s Renegade Force have some eye-popping offensive numbers, and prior to their recent run-in with yours truly they had not lost in their last 4 weeks (3-1-1 in their last 5). Which ain’t bad. So yea…..those numbers: Runs 1st, Doubles 3rd, Triples 2nd, HRs 2nd, RBIs 2nd, SBs 5th, OBP 2nd, Strikeouts 6th, QS 1st, CGs t-2nd, Wins 6th, Saves 10th (eye roll emoji, Holds 1st (eye roll emoji), ERA 2nd, MOVES 2nd (WHOAAA).So the Renegade Force didn’t take my advice at picking up a closer to keep other teams honest (lost Saves last week 3-0, tied in Holds 4-4 AHEM) but they do have a SUPAH FACKIN STRAWNG AWFENSE and are even currently employing a bit of an island of misfit toys vibe ONCE AGAIN, utilizing guys like Chris Taylor and Scooter Gennett and Paul Goldschmidtand Joey Gallo and Nelson Cruzand George Springer(some of these guys aren’t misfit toys, Springers DL’d though so CLOSE). They also have Corey Kluber and an improving-of-late Masahiro Tanaka and a newly-acquired top 5 pitcher (MadBum). WIN AND THEY ARE IN, and if they get in perhaps they can once and for all go on a run and get me to shut up about the closer thing (very very unlikely that I would).
DEADLINE DEALS: ONE, acquiring Bumgarner and CarGo for Puig, Schwarber, David Phelps, and Michael Fulmer. Gotta give talent to get talent friends.
7- Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz (8-7-1)
The non-struggling new guy impressed out the gate, then dropped a bunch in a row, but has now rebounded to go 3-1 in his last 4 and find himself firmly in the playoff conversation. The numbers for Lacey for the year (and I am not referring to meth busts or home abortions or anything of that sort): Runs 3rd, Doubles 1st, Triples t-4th, HRs 5th, RBIs 5th, SBs 3rd, OBP 5th, Strikeouts 9th, QS t-10th, CGs t-8th, Wins 8th, Saves 7th, Holds 9th, ERA 7th, MOVES 10th (but NO WORRIES here this isn’t another Cliff situation, very active owner both in trade negotiations and farm stocking). LOOKIN’ PRETTY GOOD with the bats, competitive in absolutely every category. Jose Altuve remains himself and Freddie Freeman has gotten back on track after the wrist injury and Marcel Ozuna and Travis Shaw have been great. LOOKIN’ PRETTY BAD on the pitching side of things. Which is strange because Jacob DeGrom has been good and Rich Hill tends to be good when he pitches and Aaron Nola was a really smart pickup. STREAM BETTER, I guess. The reality is the BackdoorSliderz are precariously clinging to a playoff spot and should they get in I don’t even KNOW what kinda managerial style they’ll employ, inaugural season and all. We have seen first year teams go on a playoff run that takes them all the way to the BCS before, and this team certainly has the talent to do that. First they gotta get in.
DEADLINE DEALS: ONE, trading Brian Dozier for Justin Turner and Brendan Rodgers. Which I think was a nice little deal.
8- OceanGate Trout Fishing Club (4-6-6)
Ohhhh this sad sad title defense. Mercifully we seem pretty close to it being all over and done with, because WHAT IN THE FUCK KINDA RECORD IS THAT?! Let us gaze with horror upon whatever numbers might birth such an atrocity: Runs 8th, Doubles 4th, Triples 8th, HRs 6th, RBIs 7th (WITH 666 RBIs WHICH MAKES PERFECT SENSE), SBs 2nd, OBP 1st (interesting), Strikeouts 10th, QS 7th, CGs 10th (only team in the league without a CG this season), Wins 9th, Saves 8th, Holds 4th, ERA 9th, MOVES 6th. I mean you look at a lot of the numbers, and at THE MARK OF THE BEAST RBI total, and you can kinda see how the OGTFC found themselves in this predicament. Just the classic championship hangover coupled with the occasional extended injuries to Mike Trout, Trea Turner, Jason Kipnis, Gregory Polanco coupled with the trading of the heart of the team, Buster Posey. I MEAN THEY CURRENTLY DON’T EVEN HAVE A CATCHER. Somebody tell them that Mejia is not coming up this week please. Also their pitching hasn’t been all that great outside of like Andrew Miller, and sometimes Gerrit Cole. I could waste a bunch of time writing extra words about how they could be dangerous if they make the playoffs but WHATS THE POINT, I don’t see it happening. Officially calling it a 7 teams for 6 spots race. And really its like 4 teams for 3 spots or something. #MATH
DEADLINE DEALS: FOUR, in a desperate attempt to reach the playoffs that probably falls short 😦 the four are the two I already discussed with other teams PLUS trading away their heart earlier in the week for Josh Bell and Clint Frazier PLUS picking up Verlander for Ian Happ. The first two deals were mostly pretty justifiable, the last two here a bit less so but still…. meh.
9- Toms River Titans (5-10-1)
Ohhh this franchise, coming up on 3 years removed from one of the most impressive championship seasons I think this league has ever seen that wasn’t one of mine. Back in a time when pitching did indeed win championships….this year that will not be the case for the Titans. Remember the Numbers: Runs 9th, Doubles 9th, Triples 9th, HRs 7th, RBIs 6th, SBs 6th, OBP 7th, Strikeouts t-4th, QS 2nd, CGs t-2nd, Wins 2nd, Saves 9th, Holds 2nd, ERA 1st, MOVES 7th. The pitching staff has done mostly what it was asked to do, even as it has endured injuries off and on to Kershaw and Syndergaard and Strasburg (AND EVEN….Pineda). However the pitching has not been enough to overcome a lower tier offense that has struggled outside of Carlos Correa (now also injured) and Lindor and Sano and Rendon. There is still a strong core within this team, they’ve traded away George Springer but have also added Buster Posey and Yu Darvish. And they will be closely watching Yoan Moncada throughout the rest of the season, and probably hoping he amasses as few ABs as possible in a lost year. THE TITANS WILL RISE AGAIN is what I am saying. But for now they toast so fuck em.
DEADLINE DEALS: ONE, astutely trading Josh Bell and Clint Frazier for (perennial top catcher that isn’t nearly as close to being done catching as people seem to believe) Buster Posey.
10- Q-Tip City Morning Wood (2-13-1)
And last but not least, the struggling new guy. Who is nevertheless an active and valuable member of the league and one should be allowed to shape his roster however he pleases in his inaugural season, even if that shape ends up resembling a turd sandwich. Let’s check out the numbers for that sandwich: Runs 9th, Doubles t-6th, Triples 10th, HRs 8th, RBIs 8th, SBs t-10th, OBP 10th, Strikeouts 7th, QS 6th, CGs FIRST (THANKS Ervin Santana, whom has since been traded), Wins 10th, Saves t-5th, Holds 10th, ERA 10th, MOVES 8th. As is well known by now, this team ain’t won a single game since starting out 2-0 and you can certainly sorta see why here; important to note they are last in Runs by FIFTY ONE currently. Perhaps they can recapture some magic out of the gate next year, but MIGHT BE TOUGH considering all the talent they shipped outta Q-Tip City. Pretty much all that remains is like, JD Martinez and Justin Upton and to a lesser extent Brandon Belt and to even less of an extent you can hope the gains are for real with Logan Morrison and Corey Dickerson and even perhaps Aaron Altherr but YEA. Not too pretty of a sight on offense, and with pitchers it is Carlos Martinez and hoping that Zack Greinke ages gracefully and hoping that Alex Reyes eventually returns from TJ and reaches his full potential. LIVIN’ ON HOPES AND PRAYERS IN AM BONERTOWN.
DEADLINE DEALS: ONE, for we are counting the early week flipping of Felipe Rivero for Alex Reyes that helped boost up their farm system.
So there you have it ladies, one man’s correct interpretation of the Backyard Championship League’s current Power Rankings. EXCITINGLY ENOUGH the new wrinkle of the 18 game schedule means the champion will be decided in the first few days of September, meaning this will also serve as your Power Rankings finale for this season. If you are itching for a Power Rankings in September just do as I stated last year: 1- Wait for the champion to be crowned ’round Labor Day. 2- That team is #1 in the Power Rankings. 3- Every other team is #10 because they FAILED. Best of luck for all of you trying to not fail and best of luck in 2018 for all of you that have failed already, maybe you will grab a decent spot in the 2018 preseason Power Rankings if you play your offseason cards right or something.