Backyard Championship League RIGHTS PLAYERS



Updated As Of:  07/15/18


Q-Tip City Morning Wood


Garden State Warriors


Lacey Twp Backdoor Sliderz


Springfield Isotopes

Mikey T

North Dover Little Dudes 


Rojo’s Resurgence


OG Trout Fishing Club


Barnegat Light BoWeevils 


Cattus Island MoonZ


Loma Portal Gamma Rayz


Nick Madrigal


Akil Baddoo     


 Keston Hiura


Brady Singer


Victor Victor Mesa


 Nick Pratto


 Carter Kieboom


Alec Bohm


Nolan Gorman


Cavan Biggio


Jonathan India  


Christian Pache


Royce Lewis


Matthew Liberatore



 Julio Pablo Martinez


Pavin Smith


Joey Bart


 Alex Kirilloff


Shane McClanahan  


Jesus Sanchez


Evan White


Jo Adell


Casey Mize     


 Logan Gilbert    


Yordan Alvarez



Jesus Luzardo



Alec Hanson


Brandon Marsh


Yusei Kekuchi




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Backyard Championship League RIGHTS PLAYERS


Runs:  67  OGTFC (Heroy) [6]
Doubles:  29  Warriors (Ryan) [5]
Triples:  5  OGTFC (Heroy) [5], Warriors (Ryan) [8], Isotopes (Mikey T) [8,9]
Home Runs:  20  Isotopes (Mikey T) [3], Bad Dudes (Mike) [5, 6], Sliderz (Doch) (6)    
RBI’s:  73  Isotopes (Mikey T) [3]
Stolen Bases:  18  OGTFC (Heroy) [18]
OBP:  .4196  — Sliderz (Doch) [13]

Strikeouts:  113  OGTFC (Heroy) [5]  **ALL TIME RECORD**
Quality Starts:  10  X*Rayz (Odom) [8], OGTFC (Heroy) [5]
Complete Games:  2  Warriors [7]
Wins:  9  Morning Wood (Shane) [5], Banana Slugs (Brian) [10]
Saves:  9  OGTFC (Heroy) [6], X*Rayz (Odom) [13]    
Holds:  12  RRF (Rojo) [8]    **ALL TIME RECORD**
ERA:  1.730  — X*Rayz (Odom) [8]


Runs:  71  —  Heroy (2016 [Week 14])
Doubles:  31  —  Lobman (2012 [Week 17])
Triples:  8  —  Brian (2016 [Week 11])
Home Runs:  27  —  Rojo (2017 [Week 18])
RBIs:  81  —  Ryan (2009 [Week 16])
Stolen Bases:  27  —  Odom (2016 [Week 18])
OBP:  .456  —  Lenny (2011 [Week 6])

Strikeouts: 113 — Heroy (2018 [Week 5]
Quality Starts: 12 — Lobman (2016 [Week 2])
Complete Games: 4 — Ryan (2008 [Week 8]), Lenny (2011 [Week 11]), Lobman (2010 [Week 19])*
Wins: 12 — Cliff (2016 [Week 7])
Saves: 11 — Mikey T (2009 [Week 14]), 2016 [Week 5]), Rojo (2010 [Week 1])** , Cliff (2015 [Week 9])***, Shane (2017 [Week 14])****
Holds: 12 — Rojo (2018 [Week 8])
ERA: 1.29 — Odom/Sean (2011 [Week 20])

Note:  Records in extended weeks are limited to rate stats only (OBP and ERA) EXCEPT in the two dumb fucking instances with Saves referenced below (we really need someone to get 12). 


*Includes 1 5IP Rain-Out CG.

**Rojo had 11 Saves on an 8 day week. No pitchers pitched on Day 1.

***Cliff had an illegal roster for one day in Week 9. TYPICAL CLIFF.

****Shane accumulated 11 Saves within the initial 7 Day Period within an extended week.


THE COMPLIANCE WARNING LIST: Barnegat Banana Slugs, Q-Tip City Morning Wood, Astoria Isotopes, Rojo’s Renegade Force

















Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz:  9 (Ozzie Albies x3Gregory Polanco x3Freddie Freeman, Jose Altuve, Carlos Gonzalesfor some reason)

OceanGate Trout Fishing Club:  6  (Mookie Betts x3, Trea Turner x2, Mike Trout)

River City Bad Dudes:  5 (AJ Pollockx2, Wilson Contreras, Manny Machado, Andrew McCutchen)

Garden State Warriors:  4 (Andrew Benintendi, Austin Meadows, Christian Yelich, Yoan Moncada)

Astoria Isotopes:  3 (Jean SeguraYolmer Sanchez, DUSTIN FOWLER)

Point Loma X-Rayz:  2 (Jose Ramirez x2)

Barnegat Banana Slugs:  1  (Trevor Story)

Bell Road Bears:  1  (Ian Desmond)

Q-Tip City Morning Wood:  1  (Starling Marte)






Wilson Contreras (Bad Dudes), Week 6:  3 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 3 HRs, 1 SB AND ALSO IS A CATCHER





Whatever Dustin Fowler did ‘cuz it was Dustin Fowler (Week 7)























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YEA UNFORTUNATELY IT IS MOOKIE BETTS. The Sawks hater in me hopes this curses him for 2019 because last year’s JROLLwinner, Charlie Blackmon, did not have a SINGLE JROLL in 2018. But yes came down to Betts vs. Albies vs. Polanco and uh see chart below:



Mookie Betts:  89

Ozzie Albies:  69 (nice.)

Gregory Polanco:  57


Makes it pretty clear sadly, so CONGRATS TO MOOKIE BETTS. Now if only management could get you into the Backyard Bracket more. If. Only.



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2018 Week 18 Review: “Oh Shit We Got Somewhere” Edition

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AND THERE. IS YOUR REGULAR SEASON. Years from now we will be able to talk about the collapse of the Bears and LITTLE ELSE, so yanno. I take pride in that. What lined up as a potentially dramatic Week 18 kinda wasn’t with most matchups kinda deciding themselves quickly. In honor of that brevity I shall keep this brief……










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Mission Valley X*Rayz Tie A Rojo’s Renegade Force Team That Should Not Be Allowed To Win Another Game In 2018  –  6-6-2


MVP:  Edwin Diaz  –  Edwin Diaz was the most impressive man in this matchup and I do not even care if 5 saves against RRF is entirely unnecessary.  5 IP, 1 ER, 11 Ks, 5 Saves, 1.80 ERA     

LVP:  Evan Gattis    Rare is the week I see a guy fail to reach base even once in 15 ABs so I’m calling it out.  0/15, 1 RBI, .000 OBP                


RRF Hitter Of Note:  I almost forgot how Nick Markakis is having that career year for whatever fucking reason, and next season he will be unrosterable and lose his spot in the Braves OF and all that fun stuff (12/26, 6 Rs, 4 2Bs, 1 3B, 1 HR, 8 RBIs, .448 OBP).

RRF Pitcher Of Note:  Might as well shoutout CC Sabathia for still CHUGGIN ALONG in his 27th season, for he is now on the DL and may chug no longer for all we know (6 IP, 0 ER, 7 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 0.00 ERA).


X*Rayz Hitter Of Note:  Billy Hamilton finally getting around to the whole stealing bases thing A LITTLE LATE, the rest of his production tends to be a bit unpalatable so you really want your B-Ham up around 40 SBs around this time (7/21, 2 Rs, 2 RBIs, 5 SBs, .333 OBP).

X*Rayz Pitcher Of Note:  Just need to note that Blake Snell was pulled at FORTY SEVEN pitches in this game cuz Rays, really not what one wants in a must-win Week 18 sitch (5 IP, 0 ER, 6 Ks, 1 W, 0.00 ERA).


BBR1:  RRF v. Sliderz (#4 v. #5)

              X*Rayz @ HOME






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OceanGate Trout Fishing Club Deny The Q-Tip City Morning Wood A Franchise Record Tying Win Total  –  8-4-2


MVP:  Mookie Betts  –  FAREWELL Mookie Betts, for this is yet another season where the OGTFC will not be taking your talents to the Backyard Bracket. The OGTFC love missing the playoffs the way OGTFC ownership loves making 30 year old brides-to-be cry about their age. And strippers. And inappropriate comments in public settings. Also JROLLmaybe I’ll tally these up again who knows  13/29, 10 Rs, 5 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 1 HR, 5 RBIs, 2 SBs, .556 OBP     ***MVP OF THE WEEK*** 

LVP:  Evan Longoria    Evan Longoria has pretty much looked old and borderline unrosterable just about every week except Week 17 against the beloved Bears, which, rude.  4/23, 2 Rs, 1 RBI, .240 OBP     


OGTFC Hitter Of Note:  Lets also wave goodbye to Trea Turner because he is another very talented OGTFC player and he deserves better, BLOW IT ALL UP (10/29, 5 Rs, 1 2Bs 1 3B, 2 RBIs, 2 SBs, .406 OBP).

OGTFC Pitcher Of Note:  They can keep Zack Godley if they want I guess, Zack had a good week but sometimes has bad weeks (14 IP, 3 ER, 13 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 1.93 ERA).


Morning Wood Hitter Of Note:  Almost wanted to point out Mitch Haniger because I point out JD Martinez every GOTDAMNED week but yea here’s JD’s line once again, those two are the bright spots on a dark-ish season in Q-Tip City (13/28, 7 Rs, 5 2Bs, 4 HRs, 11 RBIs, .531 OBP).

Morning Wood Pitcher Of Note:  And imho they might as well hold onto Dereck Rodriguez cuz I think he looks KINDA GOOD and they’re pitching was KINDA BAD in 2018 (14 IP, 1 ER, 11 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 0.64 ERA).









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Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz Punch Their Ticket To The Dance With Impressive Victory Over Garden State Warriors  –  9-4-1


MVP:  Ronald Acuna Jr.  –  Welllll well well if it isn’t wunderkind Ronald Acuna Jr. waiting til precisely the right point in the season to start mashing dongs. This kid may end up being pretty good, along with all the other BackdoorSliderz kids, and now I am worried I might have helped create a monster going forward. MAGA TRAIN MOTHERFUCKERS.  8/27, 6 Rs, 1 2B, 4 HRs, 6 RBIs, 1 SB, .321 OBP     

LVP:  JT Realmuto    The Warriors sorta lazily made their way into the playoffs, bye already in hand, and even TOP-RANKED FANTASY CATCHER ACCORDING TO ESPN PLAYER RATER JT Realmuto sorta took the week off.  3/21, 1 2B, 1 RBI, .182 OBP


BackdoorSliderz Hitter Of Note:  Matt Carpenter also still hitting dongs in case anyone was wondering, and MAN was this the wrong year to part with Matt Carpenter they even played him at 3B a bunch when they said they wouldn’t I HATE YOU MIKE MATHENY (5/25, 5 Rs, 3 HRs, 5 RBIs, .310 OBP).

BackdoorSliderz Pitcher Of Note:  When the Mets actually win for Jacob deGrom you just know everything is coming up ButtSliderz (6 IP, 0 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 0.00 ERA).


Warriors Hitter Of Note:  I for one think the Warriors will be just fine when they come out of the bye week and one reason for that is  Francisco Lindor (9/32, 4 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 2 HRs, 7 RBIs, 3 SBs .343 OBP).

Warriors Pitcher Of Note:  And another reason is a shrewd acquisition of a one Carlos Carrasco (13.1 IP, 3 ER, 17 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 2.03 ERA).


BBR1:  Sliderz @ RRF (#5 @ #4)

              Warriors v. BYE (#2 seed)







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Astoria Isotopes Vulture #1 Seed In All The Backyard Land With Victory Over The Barnegat Banana Slugs, All That Chit Chat In Week 17 Still Looks Annoying  –  8-4-2


MVP:  Miguel Andujar  –  AND A CHILD SHALL LEAD THEM. Really annoying that the ‘Topes straight up DROPPED Andujar at one point but then realized the gravity of their error and picked him back up on waivers. That made me sad.  9/28, 8 Rs, 1 2B, 3 HRs, 8 RBIs, 1 SB, .387 OBP

LVP:  Whit Merrifield    The Slugs blew their chance at the bye and they should very much blame Whit Merrifield, ironically.  ONE ASSUMES Vlad Jr. will eventually heal this wound FUCK YOU SHANE.  2/24, .154 OBP     ***LVP OF THE WEEK***          


Isotopes Hitter Of Note:  Paul Dejong SIGHTING, apparently the Isotopes still have Paul DeJong (7/24, 5 Rs, 3 2Bs, 3 HRs, 8 RBIs, .320 OBP).

Isotopes Pitcher Of Note:  They also have a Cole Hamels that looks a wee bit REJUVENATED with the move back to the NL, so that could be helpful potentially (13 IP, 3 2 ER, 11 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 1.38 ERA).


Banana Slugs Hitter Of Note:  Well JESUS (not Aguilar, who had 3 dongs) David Peralta where did this power stroke come from, usually this guy hits an annoying amount of grounders but also a good amount of triples but this year he’s getting that bitch a bit higher in the air (12/27, 8 Rs, 1 2B, 1 3B, 4 HRs, 6 RBIs, .483 OBP).

Banana Slugs Pitcher Of Note:  Trevor Bauer was goooood and then took a liner to the ankle so we shall see, he perhaps could have used a bye week to rest up 😉 (12.1 IP, 1 ER, 19 Ks, 2 QS, 2 Ws, 0.73 ERA).




In a CARAAAYYYYYZAY “Winner Takes Top Seed Loser Doesn’t Even Get A Bye” matchup the drama just wasn’t….quite…..there, aside from the what’s at stake part. Credit where credit is due to both of these teams but particularly to the Isotopes of Astoria, whom outclassed the Banana Slugs in a few pitching cats that are the Slugs’ bread and butter (or whatever a slug equivalent to bread and butter would be, bananas and banana byproducts?). The Isotopes impressively grabbed both Ks and ERA en route to a 4-2-1 advantage on the pitching cats, and then they handled business on the hitting side as well to the tune of a 4-2-1 once again. Even with a sub-.300 OBP the ‘Topes stuck to their game of dongs and ribbies and the Slugs couldn’t quite keep pace, despite a solid offensive showing for a team that sometimes lacks on that side of the ball. Not sure this one had much drama despite stretching the possibilities into the Sunday night game, I don’t think ‘Topes ownership was livetweeting every second of that game so HOW AM I TO KNOW? How am I… know.

In the Backyard Bracket’s First Round the Astoria Isotopes will take a well-deserved break from action as the Backyard’s #1 seed overall. Meanwhile the Barnegat Banana Slugs (#3), for their troubles, have to take on a particularly dangerous #6 seed in the River City Bad Dudes. Yanno the team looking to make it to a fourth straight BCS, that one.

BBR1:  Isotopes v. BYE (#1)

              Slugs v. Bad Dudes (#3 v. #6)






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River City Bad Dudes Assist Bell Road Bears In TRULY EPIC Collapse, It Has Not Been The Best Of Summers What Can I Say  –  8-5-1


MVP:  Giancarlo Stanton  –  Giancarlo Stanton has stayed healthy for the Bad Dudes and ONE CAN CRAFT AN ARGUMENT had he not they’d miss the playoffs. Because like four teams were within a hair of the last playoff spot so one can craft an argument about just about anything. Is muh point.  8/27, 8 Rs, 5 HRs, 9 RBIs, .424 OBP      

LVP:  Rhys Hoskins    FAR DIFFERENT from his performance ’round this time last year, Rhys let us down in Week 18 and has Sophmore Meh’d. We still very much believe in the skill set.  1/21, 3 Rs, .200 OBP           


Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note:  NATCH Rougned Odor hit a triple and JROLL‘d in the one week in the past like 9 that I couldn’t muster a triple, that won’t fix his ears though (9/30, 7 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 3B, 1 HR, 5 RBIs, 1 SB, .400 OBP).

Bad Dudes Pitcher Of Note:  And also Kevin Gausman twirled a gem cuz again NATCH (8 IP, 1 ER, 8 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.13 ERA).


Bears Hitter Of Note:  I honestly have nobody to really commend here so let me just say I am confident a healthy Edwin Encarnacion would have hit 11 dongs over the weekend, he never lets me down come playoff time (2/14, 1 R, 1 HR, 5 RBIs, 1 SB, .235 OBP).

Bears Pitcher Of Note:  And for the last time just want to thank Aaron Nola for nearly singlehandedly willing us out of the depths of the league on the QS leaderboard, and for teaching me how to love (a pitcher) again (6 IP, 0 ER, 5 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 0.00 ERA).



And so the reasonnn the Slugs find themselves in a tough Round 1 matchup has a lot to do with a lot of different factors, the final spot in this year’s #BB truly coming down to some crazy tiebreakers and factors and yada yada. One of those factors was certainly an absolute COLLAPSE by the Bell Road Bears, which I cannot die is INTERESTING from a seasonal recap standpoint but also cannot deny not at all giving a shit about. BAD TEAM would have made no noise in the playoffs. The River City Bad Dudes however are poised to make noise, on the strength of a basically wire-to-wire Week 18 victory that gets them back in the dance (which they’ve been in every single time mehhhh). 4-3 advantage in the hitting cats and a 4-2-1 in the pitching stuff, shit pitching and injuries kinda robbing this one of much drama a Freddy Peralta Friday disaster sorta sunk the battleship longgggg before a Tyler Skaggs Saturday disaster had the chance to. And that was all she wrote for a team with numbers that likely should have stuck them with a Bonerz-esque record, and the team with slightly better numbers moves on and grabs the 6 seed. 3 teams from each division in the Backyard Bracket NICE SYMMETRY.

The River City Bad Dudes will enter the Bracket yet again, a 6 seed taking on the 3 seeded Barnegat Banana Slugs. The Bell Road Bears will miss the playoffs for the 2nd time in four seasons, book-ending two straight seasons of 1st round byes that lead to NOTHING and so questioning EVERYTHING about existence (jk I’m fine but feel free to try and trade for all my dudes of value, I want to join the MW @ the bottom SEEMS PEACEFUL DOWN THERE).



BBR1:  Bad Dudes @ Slugs (#6 v. #3) 

              Bears @ HIBERNATING





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EXHAUSTING, just an exhausting regular season. Now I get to (mostly) relax and visit Fangraphs a lot less and some of you can join me on this treat, some of you cannot. ALL OF YOU can feel free to gather your composure and scroll below for the Backyard Bracket Round 1 Preview, should anyone still read these things……









Now that we have looked at how we arrived at this #FieldOfSix, let’s take a look at the matchups that will determine which two teams will advance to Round 2 and a date with our top two seeds aka the fuckers below…..






                                         #2  GARDEN STATE WARRIORS (13-5, .722)      







#3 BARNEGAT BANANA SLUGS (12-6, .667)   VS.     #6 RIVER CITY BAD                                                                                                            DUDES (8-10, .444)




The Barnegat Banana Slugs enter the 2018 #BackYardBracket having jusstttttt missed out on a bye, and it kinda stings this year as now they have to face a very capable six-seeded River City Bad Dudes franchise. The Slugs find themselves with the season-long advantage in every pitching cat outside of CGs (3-2 Dudes) and Holds, however the Bad Dudes have the advantage in every hitting cat outside of Steals. These things don’t exactly play out along those lines in a 7 day sample size BUT this will be an interesting matchup nonetheless, damn good pitching vs. pretty good hitting and all of the SSS craziness in play.

One thing working in the Banana Slugs favor is a pretty convincing season series sweep of the Bad Dudes, with a 9-1-4 victory in Week 8 and a 7-5-2 in Week 17. The Bad Dudes will be the first to remind you that the playoffs are a different animal altogether howevs. Also please everyone support local artists and save the Brian skateboarding GIF to your phone for use 4e.

WHAT TO WATCH FOR:  DONGS.  The Slugs will feel good about their advantages on the pitching side of things, most likely, but what would realllllly help ’em, out is a powerful week for the Barnegaters coupled with a bit o’ a dry spell for the Bad Dudes. While River City grabbed a 10-2 RBI lead after Monday’s festivities they only did so on the strength of 1 dong, and everyone knows it is gonna take more dongs than that. Dong dong dong dong dong.






#4 ROJO’S RENEGADE FORCE (8-7-3, .528)      VS.     #5 LACEY TOWNSHIP                                                                               BACKDOORSLIDERZ (8-9-1, .472)




The matchup that was only allowed into existence because the higher seed here acted SOFT in Week 17, I could really end this here but I will continue. IRONICALLY ENOUGH Rojo’s Renegade Force leads the league in the power cats (HRs/RBIs) BUT if we are being honest here the BackdoorSliderz have just been fucking solid pretty much across the board, all cats they hold their own. Also if we are being honest here RRF don’t deserve to win another game this season. MIGHT be why the BackdoorSliderz just put up perhaps the greatest Monday batting line in Backyard Bracket history. Let’s highlight it here:  17 Rs, 4 2Bs, 7 HRs, 20 RBIs, 1 SB, .4366 OBP. In the words of Noob-Noob:


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In the regular season the Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz won the first meeting between these two teams back in Week 8 (7-5-2). And THEN in Week 17 the Renegade Force started 11 and basically did that thing where dogs roll over as an act of submission, and so these two teams tied (6-6-2). So now you have the matchup that you have, with the BDSliderz taking a 1-0-1 regular season record into battle with these WIMPS.


WHAT TO WATCH FOR:  THE WILL OF THE FANTASY GODS. Life is all chaos and it is very unlikely there are “fantasy baseball gods” but also NO LESS LIKELY than any actual “God” so if there IS fantasy baseball gods (no way there’s an actual God) they are displeased with the RRF. And that is why they just got mollywhopped on a Monday in the hitting cats. These Bracket weeks they are long ones so this thing’s far from over, but if the BackdoorSliderz absolutely BLOW THE DOORS OFF this matchup I will certainly try and claim it is divine intervention of some sort. You should NEVER play for the tie, despite how pretty Rachel is.




2018 Week 18 Review: “Oh Shit We Got Somewhere” Edition


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TOTALLY FORGOT to do Power Rankings, and on one hand who gives a shit no way I write this much on this blog next year and on the OTHER hand well then I might as well make this year as complete a performance as possible….So without further adieu, August Power Rankings complete with categorical stats (that don’t budge much) and my humble and correct opinions on each team’s best and worst personnel in ’18 (full time-ish players only) because fuck it needed to write something in there……

(All cat ranks through 8/7/18 or 8/8/18 or who knows)

1- Garden State Warriors (13-4)

The Cat Ranks: Runs 1st, Doubles 1st, Triples 1st, HRs 5th, RBIs 2nd, SBs 2nd, OBP 6th, Strikeouts 5th, QS 4th, CGs 1st, Wins 6th, Saves 2nd, Holds 10th, ERA 4th, MOVES 9th.

2nd Half Record:  7-1

Best Player / Worst Player:  Francisco Lindor / Yu Darvish 



2- Astoria Isotopes (12-4-1)

The Cat Ranks: Runs 2nd, Doubles t-5th, Triples 6th, HRs 4th, RBIs 4th, SBs 8th, OBP 4th, Strikeouts 4th, QS 9th, CGs t-9th, Wins 8th, Saves 8th, Holds 2nd, ERA 5th, MOVES 5th.

2nd Half Record:  5-2-1

Best Player / Worst Player:  Nolan Arenado / Cole Hamels



3- Barnegat Banana Slugs (12-5)

The Cat Ranks: Runs 8th, Doubles 7th, Triples t-9th, HRs 6th, RBIs 7th, SBs 4th, OBP 9th, Strikeouts 1st, QS 1st, CGs 3rd, Wins 1st, Saves 4th, Holds 6th, ERA 2nd, MOVES 10th.

2nd Half Record:  5-3

Best Player / Worst Player:  Max Scherzer / Jonathan Schoop



4- Rojo’s Renegade Force (8-7-2)

The Cat Ranks: Runs 3rd, Doubles 4th, Triples 10th, HRs 1st, RBIs 1st, SBs 10th, OBP 7th, Strikeouts 10th, QS 7th, CGs 2nd, Wins 2nd, Saves 10th, Holds 1st, ERA 9th, MOVES 3rd.

2nd Half Record:  3-3-2

Best Player / Worst Player:  Corey Kluber / Marcell Ozuna



5- Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz (7-9-1)

The Cat Ranks: Runs 4th, Doubles 2nd, Triples t-7th, HRs 3rd, RBIs 5th, SBs 7th, OBP 2nd, Strikeouts 7th, QS 2nd, CGs t-5th, Wins 9th, Saves 9th, Holds t-3rd, ERA 1st, MOVES 7th.

2nd Half Record:  4-3-1

Best Player / Worst Player:  MATT CARPENTER / Robbie Ray



6- River City Bad Dudes (7-10)

The Cat Ranks: Runs 5th, Doubles 3rd, Triples t-7th, HRs 2nd, RBIs 3rd, SBs 6th, OBP 3rd, Strikeouts 8th, QS 8th, CGs 4th, Wins 3rd, Saves 5th, Holds t-3rd, ERA 8th, MOVES 2nd.

2nd Half Record:  4-4

Best Player / Worst Player:  Manny Machado / Marcus Stroman



7- Mission Valley X*Rayz (7-10)

The Cat Ranks: Runs 9th, Doubles 10th, Triples 5th, HRs 10th, RBIs 9th, SBs 1st, OBP 8th, Strikeouts 6th, QS 3rd, CGs t-9th, Wins 4th, Saves 1st, Holds 9th, ERA 3rd, MOVES 1st.

2nd Half Record:  3-5

Best Player / Worst Player:  Jose Ramirez / Chris Archer



8- Bell Road Bears (8-9)

The Cat Ranks: Runs 10th, Doubles t-5th, Triples t-2nd, HRs 9th, RBIs 8th, SBs 9th, OBP 10th, Strikeouts 2nd, QS 5th, CGs t-5th, Wins 7th, Saves 3rd, Holds 7th, ERA 7th, MOVES 4th.

2nd Half Record:  3-5

Best Player / Worst Player:  Aaron Nola / Gary Sanchez



9- OceanGate Trout Fishing Club (6-9-2)

The Cat Ranks: Runs t-6th, Doubles 8th, Triples t-2nd, HRs 9th, RBIs 10th, SBs 3rd, OBP 1st, Strikeouts 3rd, QS 6th, CGs t-5th, Wins 10th, Saves 6th, Holds 5th, ERA 6th, MOVES 6th.

2nd Half Record:  2-4-2

Best Player / Worst Player:  Mike Trout / Amed Rosario



10- Q-Tip City Morning Wood (2-15)

The Cat Ranks: Runs 7th, Doubles 9th, Triples t-9th, HRs 7th, RBIs 6th, SBs 5th, OBP 5th, Strikeouts 9th, QS 10th, CGs t-5th, Wins 5th, Saves 7th, Holds 8th, ERA 10th, MOVES 8th.

2nd Half Record:  1-7

Best Player / Worst Player:  JD Martinez / Sonny Gray and I don’t even care how long he’s been rostered





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And there is your 2018 POWER RANKINGS FINALE. September Power Rankings are one champeen and then a whole bunch of losers. Thank you for your time.


2018 Week 17 Review: “CRAZY FUCKING SHIT I TELL YA” Edition

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WEEK 17 really set us up for some shit….is what it did. Whether it be the end o’ the Warriors Win Streak or the CONTINUED slide of a Bell Road Bears franchise that has just been a mess of late or losses by two of the like 4 teams vying for that last playoff spot (or two) or RRF playing for a tie like an absolute disgrace. All of that stuff combined to set up a ZANY Week 18. First let’s lightly touch on all of that stuff……














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Rojo’s Renegade Force Spit In The Face Of The Fantasy Baseball Gods, Play It Safe In Order To Tie Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz  –  6-6-2


MVP:  Justin Verlander  –  Norrrrrmally I don’t like to point out MVPs in tie situations (I mean not normally but at least a couple times this season) but in this scenario, since they deadlocked at 93 Ks (SINCE ROJO SAT HIS TWELFTH STARTER) I will have to point out that Verlander struck out 14 in but one start.  7.2 IP, 1 ER, 14 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.17 ERA      



BackdoorSliderz Hitter Of Note:  With apologies to the Acuna JROLL I wanna instead note that Matt Carpenter is still having his best season ever at 32.66 years of age because that gives me hope (11/26, 7 Rs, 2 2Bs, 4 HRs, 7 RBIs, 1 SB, .543 OBP).

BackdoorSliderz Pitcher Of Note:  Another guy that pitched well and racked up Ks was a young fellow by the name of Walker Buehler (12.1 IP, 3 ER, 15 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 2.19 ERA).


RRF Hitter Of Note:  Nelson Cruz still CRUZIN (sorry) towards yet another 30+ HR campaign at 38 and that also gives me hope, LOVE THESE TWO HITTERS OF NOTE (7/26, 4 Rs, 1 2B, 4 HRs, 10 RBIs, .326 OBP).

RRF Pitcher Of Note:  HUH that’s weird I coulda sworn Masahiro Tanaka was lined up for two starts in Week 17 HOW PECULIAR (6 IP, 0 ER, 8 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 0.00 ERA).


Week 18:  Sliderz v. Warriors (7-9-1 v. 13-4)

                   RRF @ X*Rayz (8-7-2 @ 7-10)






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Barnegat Banana Slugs Complete Season Sweep On A River City Bad Dudes Team That Would Have Preferred That They Had Not  –  9-1-4


MVP:  Trevor Story  –  GROSS I KNOW, but in the battle of middle-infielders-whom-I-enjoy-trashing-to-their-owners Story had uhhh one more RBI than the other guy. And PERHAPS that made all the difference, one could incorrectly claim.  7/26, 5 Rs, 1 2B, 4 HRs, 11 RBIs, 1 SB, .296 OBP     ***MVP OF THE WEEK***

LVP:  Jon Lester    Jonny really let the squad down with a two start performance that did no favors for a Bad Dudes team that needed to try and steal ERA.  2/21, 1 R, 1 RBI, .136 OBP           


Banana Slugs Hitter Of Note:  Howz about Salvador Perez with a MATCHUP HIGH 3 dongs (7/31, 3 Rs, 3 HRs, 8 RBIs, .250 OBP).

Banana Slugs Pitcher Of Note:  Nick Pivetta gave up 6 runs in an inning of work back on the 4th o’ May but since then he’s been v. good again GOOD FOR NICK (12 IP, 2 ER, 14 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.50 ERA).


Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note:  But yea Bryce Harper also hit three (7/25, 3 Rs, 2 2Bs, 3 HRs, 7 RBIs, .321 OBP).

Bad Dudes Pitcher Of Note:  Dylan Covey also TECHNICALLY let the squad down but the Bad Dudes trotted Dylan Covey out sooooo (4.1 IP, 4 ER, 1 K, 8.31 ERA).


Week 18:  Slugs @ Isotopes (12-5 @ 12-4-1, CO-BBOTW) 

                   Bad Dudes v. Babadooks (7-10 v. 8-9, CO-BBOTW)






Breaking down how it all went wrong for Aroldis Chapman
Q-Tip City Morning Wood And An On The Bonerz Payroll Aroldis Chapman STUN The Bell Road Bears On Sunday Night  –  8-4-2


MVP:  JD Martinez  –  JD Martinez had no business getting up in the 9th inning of that game but SURE ENOUGH he did and sure enough he took down the Bears on the very first pitch, credit to that guy but also fuck that guy THIS WAS KARMIC RETRIBUTION for all the Sunday night games I stole JD is but a tool…..a tool of destiny.  7/23, 4 Rs, 4 2Bs, 1 HR, 4 RBIs, 1 SB, .429 OBP

LVP:  Aroldis Chapman    Aroldis Chapman simply needed to close out a goddamned 3 run save and perhaps not give up a run and instead he did the opposite of that and turned what was headed for a 7-7 tie into an 8-4-2 loss. Aroldis Chapman will be traded this offseason.  2 IP, 2 ER, 6 Ks, 9.00 ERA     


Morning Wood Hitter Of Note:  Didi Gregorius put together his best week since like April I am gonna say, without checking one bit (8/24, 4 Rs, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs, .385 OBP).

Morning Wood Pitcher Of Note:  And also Rick Porcello you mother….fucker (9 IP, 1 ER, 9 Ks, 1 QS, 1 CG, 1 W, 1.00 ERA).


Bears Hitter Of Note:  Elvis Andrus hit two triples which was very kind of him, even if ULTIMATELY MEANINGLESS (10/29, 4 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs, .345 OBP).

Bears Pitcher Of Note:  Freddy Peralta wildly efficient enough in Week 17 for me to keep him beyond his High Minors status, we now fully expect him to be wildly inefficient in Week 18 (10 IP, 3 ER, 14 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 2.70 ERA).


Week 18:  MW v. OGTFC (1-7 v. 3-5)

                   Bears @ Bad Dudes (8-9 @ 7-10, CO-BBOTW)






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OceanGate Trout Fishing Club INEXPLICABLY Keep Their Bracket Hopes Hanging By A Threat, Put Mission Valley X*Rayz In A Need-Help-To-Get-In Scenario  –  7-4-3


MVP:  Brian Dozier  –  THE DOZEMAN. Or whatever.  7/19, 5 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 7 RBIs, .455 OBP     

LVP:  Magnerius Sierra  –  Unfortunately for the X*Rayz the X*Rayz had like three different guys I could have given this one to. Gonna go with Magnerius because he has the funnest name but don’t think I didn’t see you Dee (2/19) and Nicholas (3/21), REAL DISAPPOINTMENTS you two…were….here.  2/16, 1 R, .125 OBP


OGTFC Hitter Of Note:  Howz bout Willie Calhoun  actually appearing and contributing in a Backyard season, LONG TIME COMIN’ folks (6/18, 4 Rs, 3 2Bs, 4 RBIs, .400 OBP).

OGTFC Pitcher Of Note:  Howz about Zack Godley apparently back to being good after taking most of the season off (7 IP, 0 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 0.00 ERA).


X*Rayz Hitter Of Note:  Silver linings for X*Rayz fans, they still own Jose Ramirez and he is probably the Backyard’s best player in 2018 (10/22, 3 Rs, 2 2Bs, 3 HRs, 8 RBIs, 3 SBs, .538 OBP).

X*Rayz Pitcher Of Note:  Sucky linings for both X*Rayz fans and fans of the actual Rays SHAKIN THINGS UP, Ryan Yarbrough struggled to follow the “openers” last week (10.1 IP, 11 ER, 10 Ks, 1 W, 9.58 ERA).


Week 18:  OGTFC @ MW (6-9-2 @ 2-15)

                   X*Rayz v. RRF (7-10 v. 8-7-2)







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Astoria Isotopes Defeat Garden State Warriors, Also Do Not Shut The Fuck Up About The Matchup Deep Into The Wee Hours Of Monday Morning Astoria Isotopes  –  5-4-5


MVP:  Khris Davis  –  Khris Davis is absolutely the forgotten man in both the Backyard and all of baseball and I for one am SICK OF IT. I mean HO HUM no biggie he’s just on his way to his third straight 40 HR season, the year before these 40 HR seasons started he had 27 in 121 games. HO HUM. Khris Davis deserves some RESPECT.  7/22, 4 Rs, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs, .407 OBP    

LVP:  Wil Myers    Tough start to the week for Big Wily and then he went on the DL to save face, or due to a legit injury, or something.  1/14, 1 R, .071 OBP          


Isotopes Hitter Of Note:  Nolan Arenado remains good but I mean EVERYBODY KNOWS THIS (9/30, 5 Rs, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs, .364 OBP).

Isotopes Pitcher Of Note:  The ‘Topes went back to their Tylers well and it failed so lets at least point out their failures, AND I LIKE Tyler Skaggs (3.1 IP, 10 ER, 3 Ks, 27.00 ERA).


Warriors Hitter Of Note:  I for one am super happy that Javier Baez finally fucking arrived, damn fine season for Javy B and Cardi B alike (10/24, 5 Rs, 3 2Bs, 1 3B, 3 HRs, 7 RBIs, .481 OBP).

Warriors Pitcher Of Note:  David Price Gerrit Cole got screwed out of a win on Sunday night a good hour before I got screwed out of a win and GOOD I AM GLAD but also what a shame cuz it helped the ‘Topes (14 IP, 3 ER, 10 Ks, 2 QS, 1.93 ERA).




USUALLY I break this thang down with at least some level of detail but since Mikey T wouldn’t shut the fuck up about a matchup that didn’t budge the standings one bit you can just refer back to his running commentary. Isotopes tied the hitting cats 2-2-3 and “won” the pitching cats 3-2-2.

In Week 18 the Astoria Isotopes face the Barnegat Banana Slugs WITH A BYE ON THE LINE, so if he talks a lot about this one at least it will make slightly more sense. In Week 18 the Garden State Warriors take on the Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz NOT WITH A BYE ON THE LINE they seemingly locked one up but yea. Certainly the one seed will be on the line and certainly they will have the chance to send the Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz to the depths of hell and/or the offseason.



Week 18:  Isotopes v. Slugs (12-4-1 v. 12-5, CO-BBOTW)

                   Warriors @ Sliderz (13-4 @ 7-9-1)








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2018 Backyard Regular Season Finale is very much upon us, leading us straight into the 2018 Backyard Bracket. And just about nothing is settled, other than the fact that the Bell Road Bears have been Dumpster Bears of late. Quick rundown of what’s at stake in Week 18 for historical documentation:


  • In the first of our unprecedented CO-BACKYARD BATTLE(S) OF THE WEEK, the Astoria Isotopes host the Barnegat Banana Slugs with the winner guaranteed to grab a bye. There’s also the opportunity for one (or both) of them to grab the Backyard Brackets top seed (if the Warriors lose, more on that later) so I guess that was perhaps why ‘Topes ownership was acting all hot and bothered all Sunday evening, but still fuck them.
  • In the second CO-BBOTW, the River City Bad Dudes host a reeling Bell Road Bears franchise in what amounts to a play-in game for the Backyard Bracket. The Bears could get up the 4 seed with a win coupled with a RRF loss, the Bad Dudes seemingly can’t get higher than 5 but their PRECIOUS playoffs streak is at stake in this one.
  • Those top-seeded Garden State Warriors head into Week 18 comfortably locked into a bye BUT uncomfortably still able to lose the top seed, with a loss coupled with an Isotopes win. As discussed that hasn’t mattered since the great McLOdom/Heroy #1 seed vs. #2 seed BCS ties of 2013 BUT yanno, still would like to hold onto top seed I s’pose. This matchup is more important because pretty much every team from the 5 seed to the 9 seed will be watching the fate of the Lacey Township BackdoorSliderza loss for them opening up all sorts of possibilities both above and below.
  • One team looking to cash in on those possibilies is the Mission Valley X*Rayzwho need to defeat Rojo’s Renegade Force and get wins out of the Bears and Warriors in order to grab a spot in the Bracket and have a chance to properly defend their title. The 2017 OGTFC are as of right now the only defending champeen to fail to make the “playoffs” (yuck) the following season. As for Rojo’s Renegade Force, MAYBE THEY WANNA TRY AND WIN FOR A CHANGE as a loss coupled with a Bears win drops them down to the 5 seed on account of the crazy like 4th tiebreaker or whatever WINS. And having a lower seed in Round 1 can bite a team in the ass, as the RRF are aware (they lost to the eventual champion #4 seed OGTFC on a 6-6-2 tie in 2016).
  • And LAST BUT NOT LEAST, even the goddamned matchup with the goddamned 2-15 team has some intrigue. Q-Tip City Morning Wood are looking to match their wins total of 3 from last season, apparently that has some sort of significance to them and I consider that truly admirable. The OceanGate Trout Fishing Club on the other hand are looking for some sort of 2008 Philadelphia Eagles sneak into the playoffs shenanigans. A win over the Bonerz coupled with losses by the X*RayzBackdoorSliderz, and Bad Dudes and RATHER IMPROBABLY the OGTFC are in the Backyard Bracket as your 7-9-2 #6 seed.



so yea…………..crazy shit man…………………..


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2018 Week 17 Review: “CRAZY FUCKING SHIT I TELL YA” Edition

Backyard Awards History

MVP Award

2017: Charlie Blackmon (OF), Nolan Arenado (3B)

Doc Halladay Award

2017: Chris Sale, Zack Grienke

Mariano Rivera Reliever of the Year Award

2017: Greg Holland, Craig Kimbrel

Golden Gavel Award

2017: Aaron Judge (OF)

Golden Arm Award

2017: Jacob Faria

Season Crowns


2017: Charlie Blackmon, OF (106 Runs)


2017: Jose Ramirez, IF/LF (37 Doubles)


2017: Charlie Blackmon, OF (13 Triples)

Home Runs

2017: Giancarlo Stanton, OF (42 Home Runs)

Runs Batted In

2017: Nolan Arenado, 3B (100 RBIs)


2017: Billy Hamilton, OF (49 Steals)

On Base Percentage

2017: Joey Votto, 1B (.446 OBP)


2017: Clayton Kershaw (15 Wins)

Quality Starts

2017: Chris Sale (20 QS)


2017: Chris Sale (241 Ks)

Complete Games

2017: Ervin Santana (5 CGs)


2017: Taylor Rogers (26 Holds)


2017: Greg Holland & Alex Colome (34 Saves)


2017: Clayton Kershaw (2.04 ERA)

Backyard Awards History


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JULY WAS A SPICY ONE, as trade deadline months tend to be.


(Note:  All stats updated through August 1st, only highest level or largest sample size or both shown for the prospects cuz fuck you. Also note MLB Comps are lazier than ever and no longer limited to active players because laziness I have become thee. Also note I may forget a Rights Player trade or waiver order trade or draft pick trade or blah blah fucking blah and almost certainly have, but in my defense I never really give a shit whom you drafted with some pick you acquired for trading Jon Lester….)



Sat, Jul 28
11:50 AM


WOOD traded Daniel Murphy, Wsh 2B to BBS
BBS traded A.J. Minter, Atl RP to WOOD
BBS traded Michael Soroka*, Atl SP to WOOD
BBS traded Michael Wacha*, StL SP to WOOD


Murphy:  .341 OBP (125 ABs), 6 2Bs, 4 HRs, 10 Rs, 23 RBIs, 1 SB


Minter:  3-2, 42.1 IP, 2.98 ERA (2.29 FIP), 49 Ks (10.42 K/9), 11 Holds, 6 Saves


Soroka:  2-1, 25.2 IP (5 GS), 3.51 ERA (2.85 FIP), 21 Ks (7.36 K/9)2 QS

MLB Comp:  Tim Hudson. HOT START.


Wacha:  8-2, 84.1 IP (15 GS), 3.20 ERA (4.22 FIP), 71 Ks (7.58 K/9), 7 QS


I think Wacha is probably the same shit he has always been, I also think Murphy is a broken down homophobe, I also think THE BONERS DID PRETTY GOOD HERE Soroka could be a guy Minter is a guy already I LIKE THIS ONE FOR THE BONERZ YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY / Morning Wood
Sat, Jul 28
11:32 AM 

BEAR traded Willy Adames, TB SS to OGFC
OGFC traded Justin Smoak, Tor 1B to BEAR

Adames:  .264 OBP (119 ABs), 2 2Bs, 4 HRs, 15 Rs, 11 RBIs, 1 SB

MLB Comp:  Xander Bogaerts, alllllways Xander Bogaerts


Smoak:  .360 OBP (354 ABs), 28 2Bs, 17 HRs, 47 Rs, 55 RBIs


Gonna MOSTLY decline to comment on my deals, other than to comment a bit. I think one of these guys may one day be good I think one of these guys is good now, I also blame my High Minors bats for AT LEAST 5 of my team’s losses this year they’ve been piss poor.
Fri, Jul 27
12:28 PM 

BEAR traded Cal Quantrill, SD SP to WOOD
WOOD traded Lorenzo Cain, Mil CF to BEAR

Quantrill:  (AA) 6-5, 117 IP (22 GS), 5.15 ERA (4.25 FIP), 101 Ks (7.77 K/9)

MLB Comp:  Ryan Madson ohhh I went there.


Cain:  .394 OBP (348 ABs), 18 2Bs, 1 3B, 8 HRs, 55 Rs, 30 RBIs, 19 SBs


Again here, one MAY be good in time (although there’s likely better options in FA as we speak in terms of prospect ranks and such) and one is good now. Particularly in an OBP league. And we needed a playoff push clearly.
Fri, Jul 27
10:26 AM 

RCBD traded Carlos Carrasco, Cle SP to GSW
GSW traded Miguel Sano, Min 3B to RCBD
GSW traded Sixto Sanchez, Phi SP to RCBD

Carrasco: 13-5, 123 IP (20 GS), 3.66 ERA (3.26 FIP), 138 Ks (10.22 K/9), 12 QS 2 CGs


Sano: .276 OBP (164 ABs), 11 2Bs, 7 HRs, 19 Rs, 28 RBIs


Sanchez:  (A+) 4-3, 46.2 IP (8 GS), 2.51 ERA (2.68 FIP), 45 Ks (8.68 K/9)

MLB Comp:  Either Pedro Martinez or Antonio Bastardo.


I certainly GET this one for both sides, the Warriors were trying to combat injuries plus feel you can never have too much pitching plus Sano was sucking and down in AAA. The Dudes wanted to move along from Carrasco roster constructionally and likely thought Sano was better than his #s and would be back soon, plus Sixto looks gooooood. The amount of Os I just put in “good” there means I prefer the Sixto side o’ things. / Bad Dudes
Thu, Jul 26
1:12 PM 

BEAR traded Cody Bellinger, LAD 1B to LTBS
BEAR traded Fernando Tatis Jr., SD SS to LTBS
LTBS traded Jose Altuve*, Hou 2B to BEAR

Bellinger:  .351 OBP (272 ABs), 17 2Bs, 1 3B, 5 HRs, 41 Rs, 32 RBIs, 4 SBs


Tatis Jr.:  .365 OBP (302 ABs), 17 2Bs, 1 3B, 14 HRs, 53 Rs, 51 RBIs, 1 SB

MLB Comp:  Carlos Correa if he works, Tim Beckham if he doesn’t (mwahaha)


Altuve:  .365 OBP (302 ABs), 17 2Bs, 1 3B, 14 HRs, 53 Rs, 51 RBIs, 1 SB


Good chance this looks GREAT for Doch in a few years, particularly if Tatis Jr. arrives and rakes or if age/injury robs Altuve of his value (off to a HOT START there). Lotta swing n miss in the games of the two kids here but that is perhaps just the game these days. I regret nothing though.
Wed, Jul 25
4:45 PM 

RCBD traded Jed Lowrie, Oak 2B to LTBS
LTBS traded Kevin Maitan, LAA SS to RCBD

Lowrie:  .352 OBP (406 ABs), 27 2Bs, 1 3B, 17 HRs, 48 Rs, 68 RBIs,


Kevin Maitan:  (R) .306 OBP (134 ABs), 5 2Bs, 3 HRs, 21 Rs, 13 RBIs

MLB Comp: Ronnie Belliard


I suspect there was something else involved in this too, but I mean maybe there wasn’t? Either way Kevin Maitan is a chubby piece of shit. / BackdoorSliderz
Fri, Jul 20
6:50 PM 

XYZ traded Jon Lester, ChC SP to RCBD

Lester:  12-4, 125.2 IP (22 GS), 3.22 ERA (4.66 FIP), 99 Ks (7.09 K/9), 10 QS Look I hate Jon Lester as much as the next guy BUT it is very possible he outpitches the FIP all year somehow and gives the Dudes a couple clutch starts on a playoffs push. And who gives a fuck about those goddamned draft picks or whatever, ergo. / Bad Dudes
Thu, Jul 19
12:30 PM 

XYZ traded David Dahl, Col CF to WOOD
WOOD traded Brandon Crawford, SF SS to XYZ

Dahl:  .309 OBP (91 ABs), 3 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 4 HRs, 8 Rs, 13 RBIs, 2 SBs


Crawford:  .352 OBP (376 ABs), 24 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 10 HRs, 45 Rs, 43 RBIs, 3 SBs

TRULY there are no winners here, this was some sort of weird procedural thing and I am annoyed I even typed it out. BUT also Dahl’s teeny line there hints at the massive upside should he ever get it together so I meannnn if you’re comfortable with the roster dead spot (he wasn’t Dahl is an FA), but also Crawford has been decent this year soooo… / X*Rayz
Wed, Jul 18
11:30 AM 

OGFC traded Josh Naylor, SD 1B to XYZ
XYZ traded Justin Smoak, Tor 1B to OGFC

Naylor:  (AA) .394 OBP (408 ABs), 20 2Bs, 1 3B, 14 HRs, 59 Rs, 65 RBIs, 4 SBs

MLB Comp:  Pedro Alvarez


Smoak:  .360 OBP (354 ABs), 28 2Bs, 17 HRs, 47 Rs, 55 RBIs


Smoak eventually fetched Adames whom is a higher ranked prospect (but also one about to lose minors eligibility but I digress) so by transitive property… / Trout Fishing Club
Tue, Jul 10
12:06 PM 

RCBD traded Sonny Gray, NYY SP to WOOD
WOOD traded Jose Alvarado, TB RP to RCBD

Gray:  8-8, 103.2 IP (21 GS), 5.56 ERA (4.42 FIP), 99 Ks (8.59 K/9), 7 QS


Alvarado:  1-3, 45 IP, 2.40 ERA (3.01 FIP), 46 Ks (9.20 K/9), 20 Holds, 4 Saves (2 BS)


Sonny Gray is fucking atrocious and getting him off your team is always a win. / Bad Dudes
Mon, Jul 9
10:47 AM 

BEAR traded Luis Urias, SD SS to OGFC

BEAR traded Carter Kieboom, WAS SS (Rights Player) to OGFC
OGFC traded Amir Garrett, Cin RP to BEAR
OGFC traded Cal Quantrill, SD SP to BEAR


Urias:  (AAA) .378 OBP (366 ABs), 20 2Bs, 3 3Bs, 7 HRs, 63 Rs, 36 RBIs, 2 SBs

MLB Comp:  Jose motherfuckin Altuve! Or like Jorge Polanco or something.


Kieboom:  (AA) .327 OBP (140 ABs), 9 2Bs, 2 HRs, 17 Rs, 9 RBIs, 1 SB

MLB Comp:  Jedd Gyorko


Garrett:  0-2, 51.1 IP, 3.68 ERA (3.83 FIP), 60 Ks (10.52 K/9), 19 Holds (2 BS)


Quantrill:  (AA) 6-5, 117 IP (22 GS), 5.15 ERA (4.25 FIP), 101 Ks (7.77 K/9)

MLB Comp:  The aforementioned Ryan Madson


Amir has suckedddd since he’s been acquired and even if he had NOT sucked he’s a one year rental, turning Quantrill into LoCain is nice but I like Urias a lot an Kieboom could end up being a steal eventually so fine declaring a victor here / Trout Fishing Club
Sat, Jul 7
5:24 PM 

OGFC traded Justin Verlander, Hou SP to LTBS
LTBS traded Brendan Rodgers, Col SS to OGFC
LTBS traded Dylan Cease, CWS SP to OGFC

Verlander:  10-6, 148.2 IP (23 GS), 2.24 ERA (2.87 FIP), 190 Ks (11.50 K/9), 18 QS 1 CG


Rodgers:  (AA) .342 OBP (357 ABs), 23 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 17 HRs, 49 Rs, 62 RBIs, 12 SBs

MLB Comp: Troy Tulowitzki or Alex Bregman or Trevor Story or JJ Hardy or a guy that never makes the league cuz PROSPECTS, JJ Hardy was rude though.


Cease:  (AA) 2-0, 34.2 IP (6 GS), 2.34 ERA (2.87 FIP), 49 Ks (12.72 K/9)

MLB Comp:  Keone Kela if he gets bullpen’d, for I do not see color. Perhaps more of a Vince Velasquez if he does not.


I absolutely get the OGTFC deciding to ship out Verlander in what looks to be a lost year, and Rodgers+ certainly ain’t a bad package and Lacey may grow to miss him, but also Verlander has been oh so good this year so I’ll give it to the guy pushing his chips into the middle we are suckers for that sorta thing. / BackdoorSliderz
Wed, Jul 4
11:55 PM 

BBS traded Estevan Florial, NYY CF to RCBD
BBS traded Alex Reyes*, StL SP to RCBD
RCBD traded Max Muncy, LAD 3B to BBS
RCBD traded Austin Gomber, StL SP to BBS
RCBD traded Robert Gsellman, NYM RP to BBS

Florial:  (A+) .346 OBP (185 ABs), 10 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 1 HR, 25 Rs, 18 RBIs, 8 SBs

MLB Comp:  Raw as fuck so this one is tricky, could be Keon Broxton could be Aaron Hicks could be who knows.


Alex Reyes:  0-0, 4 IP aka just enough to put him over his minors limit (1 GS), 0.00 ERA (4.50 FIP), 2 Ks (4.50 K/9)


Muncy:  .387 OBP (270 ABs), 11 2Bs, 1 3B, 24 HRs, 48 Rs, 48 RBIs, 2 SBs


Gomber: 1-0, 22.1 IP (1 GS), 3.22 ERA (4.46 FIP), 18 Ks (7.25 K/9), 1 QS

MLB Comp:  Jordan Montgomery


Robert Gsellman:  6-2, 59 IP, 4.27 ERA (4.35 FIP), 54 Ks (8.24 K/9), 10 Holds 5 Saves (5 BS)


I kinda love Max Muncy also kinda think Gsellman can still be a useful 2018 piece also kinda VERY skeptical as towards what Alex Reyes becomes and Florial doesn’t make it twitch for me, therefore I like this one for the Banana Slugs and I am unapologetic about it fuck you Mike. / Banana Slugs

2018 WEEK 16 Review: “First They Came For The Seans, And I Did Not Speak Out” Edition

In Week 16 they came for the Seans on Sunday. Sean Newcomb blew a no-no with two outs and two strikes in the ninth fucking inning, and then learned things were even worse for him because he tweeted as a youth. Also he got disrespected by his fantasy team and benched for said near no-no. Dochney lost an important matchup despite a Saturday night lead. Me lost (but kinda wanted to) but also LOST A LIMB (temporarily allegedly). So yea tough Sunday. Let’s have a look around the league, playoff picture A MESS….…













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OceanGate Trout Fishing Club Help Soil Playoff Picture, Cling To Delusional Dreams, Whoop Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz  –  10-2-2


MVP:  Mike Trout  –  Mike Trout is a very talented piece of driftwood, only with less personality than an actual piece of driftwood.  7/19, 7 Rs, 2 2Bs, 3 HRs, 7 RBIs, 4 SBs, .594 OBP     ***MVP OF THE WEEK***        

LVP:  Kyle Seager    Dirty little secret here but uhhhh Kyle Seager has had a down year and fuck him for it.  2/18, .158 OBP     ***LVP OF THE WEEK***       


OGTFC Hitter Of Note:  Trea Turner PROBLEMATIC and also fucking lame JROLL (7/28, 4 Rs, 1 2B, 1 3B, 1 HR, 3 RBIs, 2 SBs, .276 OBP).

OGTFC Pitcher Of Note:  Luis Castillo put it together for one week and perhaps one week only, but I’m rooting for the kid (12.1 IP, 1 ER, 14 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 0.73 ERA).


BackdoorSliderz Hitter Of Note:  Gregory Polanco LESS PROBLEMATIC JROLL (10/27, 5 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 3B, 1 HR, 4 RBIs, 3 SBs, .414 OBP).

BackdoorSliderz Pitcher Of Note:  Someone please liberate Jacob deGrom from his fresh hell of being unable to buy a fucking win (15 IP, 5 ER, 15 Ks, 2 QS, 3.00 ERA).


Week 17:  OGTFC v. X*Rayz (5-9-2 v. 7-9)

                   Sliderz @ RRF (7-9 @ 8-7-1)





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Barnegat Banana Slugs Do The Thing That Teams Are Supposed To Do Against The Q-Tip City Morning Wood WHICH I SAY NOW DOT DOT DOT  –  8-4-2


MVP:  Jonathan Schoop  –  I honestly nearly forgot Jonathan Schoop was alive. Honest to god. So that is how THAT particular season is going for that particular player, and the Orioles at large. Nice week however.  11/29, 6 Rs, 1 2B, 5 HRs, 13 RBIs, .379 OBP

LVP:  Ian Happ    Anddd Ian Happ is still alive as well, and I am hesitant to criticize any Bonerz players with a Bonerz matchup staring me in the face. A boner staring me in the face.  4/19, 1 R, 1 2B, .286 OBP     


Banana Slugs Hitter Of Note:  Salvador Perez stays giving the Slugs these little weeks where the power is clicking and that is HELPFUL outta the C position, surely they are hoping he saves one for the postseason (12/29, 6 Rs, 1 2B, 4 HRs, 8 RBIs, .452 OBP).

Banana Slugs Pitcher Of Note:  Here’s our real story Luis Severino was BAD twice in a row, lets all overreact to it just to trigger an equal and opposite overreaction to our overreaction (9.1 IP, 12 ER, 13 Ks, 11.57 ERA).


Morning Wood Hitter Of Note:  Yasmani Grandal UNDERRATED DEADLINE TARGET that nobody targeted except me for maybe a sec until I realized he’s in a platoon (7/24, 4 Rs, 4 HRs, 6 RBIs, .370 OBP).

Morning Wood Pitcher Of Note:  Andddd Rick Porcello was good enough to grab 2 Ws on a Sawks team that just hands those shits out to their pitchers like Halloween candy (11.2 IP, 4 ER, 11 Ks, 1 QS, 2 Ws, 3.09 ERA).


Week 17:  Slugs v. Bad Dudes (11-5 v. 7-9) 

                   MW @ Bears (1-15 @ 8-8)





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Garden State Warriors Have Won Ten In A Row And Everyone Is Just Sort Of GOIN ALONG WITH IT, This One At The Expense Of Rojo’s Renegade Force  –  8-5-1


MVP:  Christian Yelich  –  Christian Yelich is really startin’ to fill out that uniform out there in Milwaukee. Now there’s a guy that looks good in the uniform.  15/29, 8 Rs, 3 2Bs, 1 3B, 3 HRs, 10 RBIs, .548 OBP     ***MVP OF THE WEEK***

LVP:  Eric Hosmer    Alternatively you have Eric Hosmer and his mostly EMPTY OBP, do fucking something Eric.  7/22, 2 Rs, .375 OBP          


Warriors Hitter Of Note:  Honestly not tooo many HONs here and yet they still cruised to a W and that is the scary part reader, Wil Myers had 5 doubles though (8/24, 1 R, 5 2Bs, 7 RBIs, .333 OBP).

Warriors Pitcher Of Note:  Jose Berrios is still quite damned good and don’t let the smear campaigns of bitter former owners convince you otherwise (11.2 IP, 3 ER, 15 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 2.31 ERA).


RRF Hitter Of Note:  Paul Goldschmidt is back to mostly being good but WHERE ARE THE STEALS PAUL, cuz they ain’t here (10/29, 5 Rs, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs, .441 OBP).

RRF Pitcher Of Note:  Masahiro Tanaka MasaHERO balled his way to a CG shutout, didn’t help RRF win won’t help the Yanks win the division but still nice to see (9 IP, 0 ER, 9 Ks, 1 QS, 1 CG, 1 W, 0.00 ERA).


Week 17:  Warriors v. Isotopes (13-3 v. 11-4-1, BBOTW)

                    RRF v. Sliderz (8-7-1 v. 7-9)





River City Bad Dudes Kick Astoria Isotopes (And Their Bid For Top Seed) In The Face, With Cleats On  –  6-5-3


MVP:  Matt Chapman  –  And so now someeee fuckin how someeee fuckin way the Bad Dudes are threatening to drag their carcasses back into the playoffs, and so it is only fitting that I reward Matt Chapman for a nice performance. Matt Chapman is an LVP STAPLE but this week he was not LVP, he was MVP.  12/26, 9 Rs, 2 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs, .548 OBP     

LVP:  Matt Olson    Alternatively you have the lesser Matt in Matt Olson, a disappointment to himself and anyone that’s ever dared to love him in Week 16. I mean maybe he wasn’t that bad but he also wasn’t that good and I wanted to go with the Matts thing.  5/28, 3 Rs, 1 2B, 1 RBI, .281 OBP


Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note:  Jose Abreu also a nice lil week (10/28, 7 Rs, 2 2Bs, 3 HRs, 7 RBIs, .419 OBP).

Bad Dudes Pitcher Of Note:  HUH HOHHHHHH Carlos Rodon sighting, now I have seen it all ladies and ladies (I only write for the ladies I’m like Californication) (15.1 IP, 4 ER, 14 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 2.35 ERA).


Isotopes Hitter Of Note:  Khris Davis dinged 5 dongs but the reallll hitter of note is Aaron Judge and his potentially troublesome wrist injury, could SAP the power I say (3/13, 2 Rs, .400 OBP).

Isotopes Pitcher Of Note:  Tyler Skaggs LITERALLY the only pitcher on the ‘Topes I find interesting now that Tyler Anderson is gone, let’s look at the Skaggs Line (6 IP, 1 ER, 9 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.50 ERA).



Week 17:  Bad Dudes @ Slugs (7-9 @ 11-5)

                    Isotopes @ Warriors (11-4-1 @ 13-3)












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Mission Valley X*Rayz STAY ALIVE, Slip Past Reeling Bell Road Bears Franchise  –  6-4-4


MVP:  David Fletcher  –  NO IDEA who David Fletcher even is but I mean shit, he helped the X*Rayz win Runs and 2Bs give the man his gold star.  10/26, 5 Rs, 4 2Bs, 3 RBIs, 2 SBs .433 OBP

LVP:  Scott Kingery    UNFORTUNATELY I am far more familiar with Scott Kingery, a poor man’s David Fletcher if you will. Scott Kingery is going to suck precisely until I cut him.  3/18, 1 R, 1 2B, .167 OBP     


X*Rayz Hitter Of Note:  Just wanna point out Jose Ramirez scored 5 runs and stole 3 bases without getting a single goddamned hit, not sure I’ve seen this particular line yet in all my years o’ bloggin’ (0/15, 5 Rs, 3 SBs, .360 OBP).

X*Rayz Pitcher Of Note:  Not gonna CELEBRATE known Problematic Person Sean Newcomb so instead gonna highlight Marco Gonzales, whom danced into and out of danger all Sunday long but preserved the ERA lead that seemed important at the time (6 IP, 2 ER, 7 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 3.00 ERA).


Bears Hitter Of Note:  Rhys Hoskins was certainly eyeballin a matchup MVP but ya gotta win for that Rhys, ya gotta win for that (10/29, 7 Rs, 2 2Bs, 5 HRs, 9 RBIs, .424 OBP).

Bears Pitcher Of Note:  And the Bears had realllll difficulty tossing even a single QS in Week 16 and what better way to illustrate that then to point out Aaron Nola did not toss a QS (5 IP, 3 ER, 5 Ks, 5.40 ERA).





WELL PHEW. Not that the Bears don’t want to miss the playoffs but the Bears also didn’t want to formally eliminate the X*Rayz so that was a bit o a bind. But they did not, and this isn’t about them this is about the X*Rayz STAYIN’ ALIVE. They did so by doing just enough overall, 3-3-1 deadlock in the hitting cats but a 3-1-2 advantage in the pitching cats for a sort of ho hum but NEEDED victory. Honestly I don’t think anything was that exciting, ERA hung in the balance a bit on Sunday but not only did the X*Rayz end up slightly more mediocre than the Bears there but they also added 3 Sunday Saves (to 1) to tie that cat. And that was how this one went down. An uninspired review of an uninspired performance.

In Week 17 the Mission Valley X*Rayz will attempt to STAY CLIMBIN’ towards a berth in the #BackyardBracket, they probably need to win out but are certainly aware of that. On the flip side the Bell Road Bears will attempt to halt a season high 3 game losing streak in a matchup with the HILARIOUSLY 1-15 QTC Morning Wood. They do not deserve to have just one win and maybe that sort of thing evens out this week, that would be bad for a Bears team that no longer feels like a safe bet for postseason play. THERE’S ONLY LIKE THREE SAFE BETS FOR POSTSEASON PLAY.


Week 17:  X*Rayz @ OGTFC (7-9 @ 5-9-2)

                   Bears v. MW (8-8 v. 1-15)







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Bear TOO CLOSE. And we are very close to the conclusion of this particular regular season and the last like THREE playoff spots are all bunched up. What more can you ask for what more can I say. 
2018 WEEK 16 Review: “First They Came For The Seans, And I Did Not Speak Out” Edition