and congratulate the Lacey Township Backdoor Sliderz for winning an IMPRESSIVE and NEARLY UNPRECEDENTED 2.5 BCS Titles in a row. 0.5 BCS Titles from tying the all-time in-a-row record with a chance to overtake that in a theoretical 2021 season that we will theoretically be having in the Backyard. It is absolutely impressive what the Lacey contingent has accomplished in their first 2.5 seasons. Even though it came via a tie (thanks to a SIX inning 5 ER CG, no less) to an “8th seed” team that shouldn’t have been allowed in the Bracket. Even though that was how it all went down. The Backdoor Sliderz are clearly the best roster in the Backyard and somehow that’s allowed them to win 2.5 titles in a row, which is I dunno good I guess. It’s like having pocket aces and not getting fucked on the river or something, I guess? 2.5 hands in a row. And there’s nothing I can say here that can change that. And to attempt to say more would be to have to write more words and I’ve already planned a BUNCHA words for the finale down there so let’s just MOVE ON, BRIEFLY TOUCH ON THE BCS MATCHUP, BRIEFLY TOUCH ON THIS BLOG’S UNCERTAIN FUTURE, WORK IN SOME MORE CAPS LOCK AND PARENTHESES AND BE DONE WITH THE 2020 FANTASY BASEBALL SEASON. Sounds like an excellent plan. (ONWARD…..)
#8 Astoria Isotopes
DEFEATED VIA TIEBREAKBER BY THE PIECES OF SHIT BELOW THIS SENTENCE…
#6 Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz
[BRACKET MVP — Freddie Freeman] (he did alotta good stuff the whole Backyard Bracket go look it up if you don’t believe me)
Aaron Nola grabbed a hideous 6 inning “CG”…..the Braves kept on fucking hitting…..5 gents with 5 RBIs (Freeman, Soto, Albies, Bregman, Will Smith for some reason) and 4 gents with 4 RBIs (BrandonLowe, Tatis Jr., Teoscar Hernandez, Maikel Franco) and boom you’ve out-RBI’d the ‘Topes bats with only 9 gents…..24 Ks outta deGrom…..
WHAT WENT WRONG —Isotopes
Aaron Nola grabbed a hideous 6 inning “CG”…..sub-40 Rs & RBIs isn’t a GREAT sign of your team offense clicking, I guess, I dunno…..6 SBs is enough to win a lot of weeks but NOT THIS WEEK, cuz yanno the LTBS had 10 and all…..pretty bleh K numbers if you ask me…..
This one was ULTIMATELY a valiant-ish effort from the ‘Topes, but with Arenado out the offense could not keep pace with the……Braves basically. A 3 Save Sunday scored them the tie and makes that disgusting CG a hard pill to swallow, but hey these things happen. Next time find a disgusting CG of your own.
What’s next for the league or whatfuckingever? I imagine it will continue and I imagine I will continue to be in it. Which is okay I guess. Either way on that one, tbh, but what I’m really interested in opining about is what’s next for this horrifically named blog.
When I started this blog in 2015 I wante….jkjkjk I didn’t start this fucking thing, Mike did. Hence the ridiculous name. I think there was another wordpress named “Backyard Views” or “Views From The Backyard” or some shit and it was just filled with bad poetry, and honestly I prefer that one. ANYWHO, BEHOLD Mike’s first post:
“Oh hey guys.
This site is here to continue with the overwhelming information stream that we already have for our fantasy baseball page, and life in general. I’ve been thinking about making this for a while, mostly to track some of the happenings on the site, and really to give everyone a forum to post, well, anything they want really. Mainly we will focus this thing on the fantasy baseball page, but hey, go nuts with whatever you’d like.
Please note: This will be a good storage site for all of our favorite stories, rankings, T’d Up episodes, Trade Block discussions, etc.
There’s also an app, so maybe it’ll be good. I’ll check it out and let you know.
Feel free to make an account and post something. Ya know.
Wow wouldjya look at that Mike was even sort of ENCOURAGING poetry to be posted on here, is how I read that. Can’t believe Brian continues to let that opportunity go to waste.
ANYWHO when I look at that post now there’s a picture of an enlarged prostate just below it (“Urologist: Enlarged Prostate? Do This Immediately (Try Tonight), and that feels pretty fucking fitting here. This thing has gotten a bit longgggg in the tooth, as have I, and we’ve grown together…..me and this thing. Both for the worse. I’m FAR TOO indispensable a County employee to continue to hastily bang out reviews whilst @ work, and also FAR TOO busy being fucking cool (or napping or drinking or something) when not @ work so it’s tough to say…..what the future holds…..for this blog. Also, if I’m being perfectly honest WordPress’ new format fucking sucks a spiky one. I am DISGUSTED by the spacing on these latter posts of mine and I have no plans to learn how to properly format these things, and the blog deserves better. Deserves better spacing. Deserves better effort all around.
There’s a temptation to Viking Funeral this thing but also that sorta defeats the purpose of whatever it was I was attempting to do this year, by putting out shitty reviews of the Backyard Bracket and such. So it stands as some sort of historical record. And PERHAPS there’s some sort of collaborative effort to reclaim its glory as something capable of making an owner quit the league, but the key word there is “collaborative” and you’re all lazy fucks so uhhhh….yea. BASICALLY I’m just saying this thing might get pretty dusty in the 2021 fantasy season (I guess we are gonna have one of those?) and this is me making peace with that. If this is my last post my only regret is not saying meaner things about Dochney in it. Cuz
both me writing up another one of these and this RECYCLED BCS matchup from two years ago, but we shall get to that in due time. Probably a lot quicker than it usually takes to get to that. Anywho ONCE AGAIN I am here to do my due diligence and put together something I plan on nobody reading. Just to capture a moment in time yanno? This must be what it is like to be a “Soundcloud rapper”…..welp we are down to our final two and it’s a familiar final two, with one of them being VERY familiar to the BCS as of late. So that’s…..I don’t want to call it an “accomplishment” but that’s something. It’d be more of an accomplishment if you fuckers ponied up and added a small cash prize to this slog, like I suggested years ago (particularly now that you’re all “degenerate gamblers,” but I digress. Let’s see how we got here, ONWARD…..
#2 Ocean Gate Fishing Club
#8 Astoria Isotopes
WHAT WENT RIGHT — TOPES:
A couple of schmucks (Wainwright & Minor) put together those cute 7 IP CGs and those ended up being the difference, really…..4 measley SBs were enough to win that cat by 1…..the Fishing Club had a sub-40 RBI week which I’ve now decided is some sort of arbitrary cutoff for good vs. bad RBI weeks…..probably most importantly on the offense side was DJ LeMahieu being a man possessed (9 Rs, 4 2Bs, 4 HRs, 10 RBIs, .516 OBP)
WHAT WENT WRONG —Fishing Club
None of their schmucks were able to throw 7 IP CGs…..only 3 SBs from a team that used to steal more bases, LOOKIN AT YOU Trea Turner…..sub-40 RBIs and sub-30 Rs aren’t great….. on 10 HRs feels a little light…..a few fellas (Sano, Solak, Grossman) put up some ugly OBP numbers to drag down the team OBP, below the other team’s OBP…..somehow tied in QS even though they put up a 2.73 ERA and the ‘Topes put up a 4.41…..
#4 Barnegat Banana Slugs
#6 Lacey Township Backdoor Sliderz
WHAT WENT RIGHT — LTBS
The Braves offense was once again fairly murderous…..got 7 RBIs outta Keston Hiura somehow…..got the victory in the Ks cat even with deGrom exiting his start early…..but chyea those Braves have just been murder for like a month…..
WHAT WENT WRONG —Slugs
They failed to grab a 2nd (and then ideally 3rd) Hold and they ran into a Butt Sliderz offense that was HAWT, that’s pretty much it folks…..OBP and RBIs were a little low (you can sort of blame Adalberto& Vladitofor both) but why nitpick…..
#6 Lacey Township Backdoor Sliderz
#8 Astoria Isotopes
It’s 2018 all over again folks, only THIS TIME the world is a smidge more hell-ish. Which I think is reflected here. The LTBS are the 6 seed once again but THIS TIME they’re facing a ‘Topes team that was the 8th seed and has no business being here, and also THIS TIME it is Doch’s 3rd straight BCS appearance and threatens to be his 3rd straight title (if he wins this sentence will be altered to delegitimize said title don’t worry). GUESS WE WILL SEE WHAT HAPPENS OR WHATEVER
GUYS™ TO WATCH:
BATS BATTLE —DJ LeMahieu (‘Topes) vs. Freddie Freeman (LTBS)
It’s the BCS so it’s going to come down to BEST vs. BEST and in this case we are referring to the two best hitters since the calendar hit September 1, and that’s been Freeman and LeMahieu for the whole LEAGUE if the “score” thing is to be believed. Unfortunately Acuna Jr. is third in that metric and I don’t know how he isn’t second, that metric is a bit of a mystery (also fellow ATL/LTBS Adam Duvall is 5th which just shows you how ridiculous those dumb Braves have been) so the ‘Topes will have to contend with THAT. But yea DJ will need to stay hawt and then maybe the ‘Topes hope law of averages cools down the Braves O a bit.
ARMED CONFLICT — German Marquez(‘Topes)vs.Jacob deGrom(LTBS)
SOMEHOW the two Coors pitchers are the ‘Topes best QS options, they both go twice this week but Marquez is the one that provides a bunch more Ks and ALSO the one that’s already went and given them a QS on Monday. They will seek another this weekend and ideally two from his counterpart (KYLE FREELAND, not sure why I was treating him as if he was in WITSEC). For the Butt Sliderz, they’ll get deGrom twice this week and he’s already gotten things popped off with a 7 IP 2 ER 14 K performance Monday evening. Thank GOODNESS that wasn’t a doubleheader or else the ‘Topes would have really been smartin’. But yea the LTBS are about as set up as they could as for in the finale between two deGrom starts and two from Aaron Nola INCLUDING a doubleheader start this very evening (ahem….. CG alert). So maybe I should have gone with Nola. And if I wrote this before that 14K game I probably would have but I didn’t and now I’ve written too much to go back and change it. Let’s move on.
Those who don’t learn from history are something something something, let the history teachers finish that one. But yea I would be a FOOL to not expect the LTBS to continue their run, and I am no fool, so that is what I expect them to do. Shall start writing the post that dismisses this as a legit 3peat now. Backdoor Sliderz WIN IT ALL AGAIN, 8-6
Stress enough, how little interest I have in pretending to care about the outcomes of these fucking things. AND YET…I feel I must capture them in time on the internet, until the Earth is swallowed up by the sun or we delete the blog or whatever. Maybe I’m just sour about incorrectly predicting 3 outta the 4 matchups. But NO I think I’m just over “blogging” as an art form. But so YEA this thing is on hospice, nobody should even read this, we are just going to bang it out for reasons unclear to even myself. ONWARD…..
#1 River City Fightin’ Margs
#8 Astoria Isotopes
WHAT WENT RIGHT — TOPES:
3 Dongs for Matt Olson…..got some triples and the other team did not get any…..6 QS despite a fairly MEH 4.41 ERA…..6 Holds to grab that cat in a particularly contested Holds matchup…..just seemed to do justttt enough to grab cats or tie cats where the Margs put up solid numbers (SBs comes to mind, tied 8-8)…..
WHAT WENT WRONG —Margs
39 RBIs on 10 HRs feels a little light…..a few fellas (Sano, Solak, Grossman) put up some ugly OBP numbers to drag down the team OBP, below the other team’s OBP…..somehow tied in QS even though they put up a 2.73 ERA and the ‘Topes put up a 4.41…..
#2 Ocean Gate Fishing Club
#7 Rojo’s Renegade Force
WHAT WENT RIGHT — OGFC
Two CGs and only ONE of them was the bullshit 7 IP variety (Gerrit Cole), Luis Castillomanned up and went the full 9…..managed to tie in 4 cats (2Bs, HRs, QS, Ws)…..got triples when the opponent didn’t get triples…..2 QS outta Kyle Hendricks…..all of a sudden the RRF were a team that DIDN’t get any Holds…..
WHAT WENT WRONG —RRF
Apparently they abandoned the Holds strategy at some point…..Alec Mills‘ 9 inning no-hitter wasn’t allowed to count for 2 CGs…..they only got to 11 starts which may have made ALL THE DIFFERENCE (but no probably not)(but close)…..
#3 Island Beach Bears
#6 Lacey Township Backdoor Sliderz
WHAT WENT RIGHT — LTBS
The Braves offense was absolutely murderous for most of the week (7 Rs, 3 HRs, 13 RBIs, .571 OBP for Freddie Freeman, for example)…..some inconsistent rookie pitchers were fairly consistent (2.94 team ERA)…..bullpen contributed 3 Ws (and the team had NINE total)…..lots o’ Ks…..
WHAT WENT WRONG —Bears
All attempts to use the bullpens on doubleheaders imploded in their face with shitty relievers blowing Hold opps…..ostensibly good relievers also blew leads (6 ER in 2.1 IP for Kenley Jansen)…..Nicholas Castellanos stopped being good a few months ago (.192 OBP)…..
#4 Barnegat Banana Slugs
#5 East Coast
WHAT WENT RIGHT — Slugs
MOST things, the offense was really cookin’ with 62 RBIs despite a so-so (but good enough to win the cat) .326 OBP…..9 Ws and 97 Ks outta the staff is really good…..getting 9 RBIs outta Alec Bohm is really good…..getting EIGHT out of Adalberto Mondesi (14 total for the year now) is really good…..Adalberto also out-stole the opponent 6 to 4, which is really good…..they hit more triples than their opponent…..they just did really good, good job…..
WHAT WENT WRONG —East Coast
uhhhh paltry K numbers…..mediocre RBI total despite an above-mediocre R total…..a few sub-.300 OBP fellas (Baez, Correa, Hoskins, Happ, McMahon) dragged down the bunch a bit too much…..starting Rick Porcello maybe cost them the ERA cat…..
ROUND TWO PREVIEW
#2 Ocean Gate Fishing Club
#8 Astoria Isotopes
CHILDHOOD FRIENDS BATTLE (I think?) Both of these losers are the idiots that allowed the LTBS to win these past two years (I think?) and now one of them may be tasked with allowing him to do it again. Hard to root for either of these teams but especially hard to root for that city slicker fuck whose too good to SLUM IT in NJ for his friend’s children’s birthday parties. So fuck him go Fishing Club (I think?)
GUYS™ TO WATCH:
BATS BATTLE — Josh Bell (OGFC) vs. DJ LeMahieu (‘Topes)
This is entirely based on what’s already happening, which is DJ is on fucking fire (6 Rs, 3 2Bs, 3 HRs, 8 RBIs, .571 OBP). So uhhhh yea, Josh Bell should try to close the gap a bit in the 1B battle. Is my analysis. I am truly phoning this in so what do you want from me, me.
Shane Bieber could realllllly do the Fishing Club a solid by grabbing a LEGIT CG, like a man, against the Tigers. And that is because the ‘Topes already got a helluva start out of their old friend Mike Minor (7 IP “CG” shutout dub with 8 Ks) to give them a commanding 2-0 lead in the all of a sudden juicy CGs category (cuz of these aforementioned doubleheaders), so that was helpful. And they’ll hope he gives them another solid start on Sunday.
The CGs give the Isotopes a nice early leg up but I’m going to suggest here that the Fishing Club prevails because fuck Mikey T I haven’t seen the guy in 8 months. Fishing Club advances, 7.5-6.5
#4 Barnegat Banana Slugs
#6 Lacey Township Backdoor Sliderz
WELL I didn’t do my part (which I shouldn’t have been expected to quite frankly, haven’t won a playoff matchup in yearrrrrrrrz) so it’s now up to Barnegat to hault the Backdoor Sliderz march towards a third straight championship (which I’d then have to unfortunately note as illegitimate. If the Slugs have an offensive showing like they did in Round 1 I wouldn’t put it past them. If the Braves keep acting like Murderers Row that gets trickier. There’s also PITCHING in these fantasy baseball weeks. So we’ll see how the pitching goes I guess.
GUYS™ TO WATCH:
BATS BATTLE — Luke Voit (BBS) vs. Freddie Freeman (LTBS)
Luke Voit is still powering the Slugs offense (3 HRs, 8 RBIs already this week) so this matchup makes ALL THE SENSE. Last week Freddie Freeman was an absolute murderer so if Voit can outpace him this week that’d be nice. Real nice for the Slugs.
ARMED CONFLICT — Trevor Bauer(BBS) vs.Aaron Nola (LTBS)
Trevor Bauer is in many ways a person that shouldn’t be allowed to use the internet but BOY can he pitch this season, and the Slugs will get two starts out of him and the first one was a beaut (12 Ks). Another double digit K perfromance would be a nice boost. Speaking of double digit K performances, Aaron Nola has 4 of them this year including 10 in each of his last two starts. So he can be a real sonuvabitch like that. GOOD ARMED CONFLICT HERE.
This is one part noting the LTBS are good, one part wanting to annoy the Slugs, and one part acknowledging my prediction is more of a curse than anything. LTBS advances 9-5
THERE ANOTHER ONE ETCHED INTO THE PYRAMIDS OF HISTORY. OR SOMETHING.
Because I refuse to acknowledge the “Wild Card Weekend” as actual ~playoffs~ there was a win-less team in there for fucks sake. Also because this “preview” is late enough already so put two and two together. This is going to be appropriately half-assed because it’s been a half-assed sort of year and also I AM LOCKED IN. So let’s get this shit over with…..
#1 River City Fightin’ Margs
#8 Astoria (LIARS) Isotopes
FINALLY a sense of normalcy in a broken world. In fact I was at Margs HQ POOLSIDE the other day and I do believe ownership implied the Margs winning this matchup might save lives or something? Aanywho the Margs returned to prominence in a big way by rebounding from an out-of-the-bracket finish in the ’19 season to the top seed in this weird gotdamned ’20 season. Their reward is a date with the team from Astoria that we all know full fucking well no longer resides in Astoria. If I can work in the POINTS SYSTEM early here uhhh the Margs lead the league at 101.5 points and the ‘Topes were 7th at 71.5 points and that is perhaps why the Margs had 5 more wins. They’ll look for another win against a longtime playoff foe in their first taste of Fantrax Bracket Action.
GUYS™ TO WATCH
BATS BATTLE — Manny Machado (Margs) vs. Nolan Arenado (‘Topes)
As these two Handsome Hot Corner Hotties go, often their teams’ respective offenses tend to follow. Last year it was Machado struggling to a pretty mediocre 108 wRC+ (LOOK IT UP) while Arenado was his same old self (plus a career high BA and OBP), but this “year” (all 40 fucking games of it) it’s Arenado that is struggling (88 wRC+) while Machado is hitting arguably the best he ever has (career high 149 wRC+, I’m just going to make all of these wRC+ get fucking used to it).
ARMED CONFLICT — Corbin Burnes(Margs) vs. Tyler Mahle (‘Topes)
The late start on this preview allowed me to sort of cheat but I SWEAR I selected Burnes vs. Mahle prior to their starts. Okay prior to Burnes’ start. And my thinking there was as follows: ‘Topes get a two start week out of a weirdly high-strikeout Tyler Mahle, so if you’re the Margs you’re hoping for somebody to at least MATCH Mahle’s Monday output (a 7 inning QS with 3 ER and 10 Ks). And then you hope the next Mahle start is dogshit, which is certainly possible (cuz it’s still Tyle Mahle). ANYWHO Burnes was able to do that on Wednesday afternoon and then some (7 inning QS/W with 0 ER and 11 Ks). So that’s what you want to see. If you’re the Margs. In your Armed Conflict®.
The River City franchise has longggg been a tough out in the first round. Which is what this is. Margs over ‘Topes, 8.5-5.5
#2 Ocean Gate Fishing Club
#7 Rojo’s Renegade Force
The Ocean Gate Fishing Club enter this year’s dance as the #2 seed, but I mean that’s a game away from nearly being the #5 seed so WHO GIVES A FUCK. The POINTS SYSTEM paints a rosier picture however, as they easily clock in at 2nd place with 97.5 POINTS which is 8 POINTS higher than the #3. Higher points are better here. And on the flip side you have the Renegade Force which had 66 points, which is a very low total, but not so low that they were gunning for a seed in the top 6 (aka THE ACTUAL PLAYOFFS YOU CLOWNS) til just about the bitter end. They came up a bit short, but they also got to face that guy Guy who just put together the sort of season we burned Cliff at the stake for. So now the RRF are cursed to continue on, in a matchup with Heroy that’s pretty rivalry-free as best I can tell. Which is a shame because Rojo has said lots of terrible things to me about Heroy’s wife and child and I’ve just never told Heroy about them. So I blame myself here.
GUYS™ TO WATCH:
BATS BATTLE — Mike Trout (OGFC) vs. Kyle Tucker (RRF)
On paper this “battle” feels sort of ridiculous, Mike Trout is the best plaer in baseball and Kyle Tucker is not. But look under the hood and Kyle Tucker has been all SORTS of valuable this year, mostly because the Astros gave him whatever Magic Triples Elixir they gave to Evan Gattis that one year. So Kyle has 6 of them triples on the year and another one (or two) in this matchup would be HELPFUL. Or HURTFUL if you subscribe to the theory that Rojo wants no part of winning this week. Which I do. So it’s HURTFUL.
ARMED CONFLICT — Zac Gallen(OGFC)vs.Hyun Jin Ryu(RRF)
This Zac Gallen character is all of a sudden a bonafide STUD, which is unfortunate because Heroy owns him and he will squander the talent. And then you have Hyun Jin Ryu who was pretty excellent last year, and had regression written all over him as he moved over to the AL East, but has managed to be pretty darn good this year as well. And both of these fellas get two starts this week and GUESS WHAT both of their first starts came on Monday and neither did a great job. So let’s see if they do a better job next time. That may help dictate things yanno?
My prediction is that Rojo’s will to lose outshines Heroy’s will to fuck up. Fishing Club advances, 9.5-4.5
#3 Island Beach Bears
#6 Lacey Township Backdoor Sliderz
In many ways, this matchup is for the VERY SOUL of the Backyard. The Island Beach Bears, the reluctant voice of this league/probably his generation (just hasn’t written a book yet) versus the Lacey Township Backdoor Sliderz, B2B BCS Champ and league VILLIAN. Nobody has ever won 3 in a row aside from that time I won 3 in a row (or 1.5 in a row if you guys want to be fags about it)(Heroy probably does) and DAMNED if I don’t intend to defend my honor, and Odom’s honor. And the league’s honor. For it is all we all have. The PROBLEM is the Backdoor Sliderz are likely a much better 6 seed than their first go-round as the 6 seed in their league debut, what with their 87.5 POINTS and their top 3 or so dynasty players and whatnot. The Bears on the other hand grabbed the #3 seed despite only amassing 73 POINTS (last I checked, these things change quick it seems) and despite an 0-3 start. They won 5 straight after that start, dropped one, and then won two more to close out the season so that should demonstrate SOME ability to win SOME matchups SOMETIMES. Here’s to hoping this is one of those times. Once again the league’s very soul is at stake you should all be rooting for me.
GUYS™ TO WATCH:
BATS BATTLE — Tim Anderson (Bears) vs. Fernando Tatis Jr. (LTBS)
Fernando Tatis Jr. has turned out to be the crown jewel of the worst trade I’ve ever made (little known fact, I remember a certain text from Odom that was like “it’s Altuve mehhhh” so I blame him a bit) as he’s been ridiculous this season. And just as sadly he’s also ridiculously enjoyable to watch. I LIVE for grand slam dongs on 3-0 counts in blowout games. So it’s a struggle. So it is of small consolation, but consolation all the same, to roster an equally ~fun~ shortstop of our own in TA. His hitting profile leaves a ridiculous floor but he’s ACTUALLY managed to sort of hold his own in the actual stats portion of this battle as well. NO REALLY LOOK AT THE FULL STATS:
Anderson (32 GP, 136 ABs): .353/.390/.596 (167 wRC+), 35 Rs, 10 2Bs, 1 3B, 7 HRs, 15 RBIs, 5 SBs
ADMIT IT, closer than you’d think……and that shall likely need to remain the same this week.
ARMED CONFLICT — Sixto Sanchez(Bears) vs. Jacob deGrom (LTBS)
Certain members of the Backyard loveeeee posting shit about their young pitchers in the GC and for that reason you should all be THANKING me. Sixto Sanchez has been the best young pitcher out there and it hasn’t been particularly close and I shudder to think what the chat would be right now if he was on certain rosters. 25-2 K-BB PEOPLE. ANYWHO the Bears will have him for two starts this week, first one went swell (6 scoreless, QS/W, 6 Ks) and they’ll gladly take a repeat performance over the weekend. And even WITH that repeat performance the hope is that adds up to a few more Ks than deGrom racks up in his one start (13.13 Ks/9). Jacob racks up alotta Ks and throws the ball really hard. But Sixto throws it pretty hard too 😉
PREDICTION: This league has been terrorized by the Butt Sliderz for FAR TOO LONG. Like one entire year, where they terrorized the entire league and only lost once (to me). And then the previous year where they snuck into the 6th seed and won the championship like bastards. And then now here they are, 6th seed a-fucking-gain. YES they’ve won the championship two years in a row. But doing it three years in a row is really hard. So… BEARS SLAY THE DRAGON, 8-6
#4 Barnegat Banana Slugs
#5 East Coast
This one’s the long-winded chat post replete with *laugh crying emoji* versus the occasional GIF dropped into the chat out of nowhere. The guy I would never ever pick to win the championship because it’s more fun not to versus the guy I picked to win the championship but not because we are related. The Slugs are probably a tad peeved to have fallen all the way down to the 4 seed, with their 90.5 POINTS and all. But that’s life in the NFL and also life in a strange 11 “matchup” season. Fortunately their counterparts can empathize, as the East Coast franchise was in first place last time I wrote about this godforsaken fucking league and here they’re the 5th seed. But it’s the Backyard Bracket Baybay (I know because James Paxton is hurt) so both of you buck up.
GUYS™ TO WATCH:
BATS BATTLE — Luke Voit (BBS) vs. Nelson Cruz (EC)
SURE I could have made this about MI “stars” like Story & Lindor but uhhh I didn’t fucking wanna, so I didn’t. This one’s gonna be about the BIG BOPPERS. THE DONG DADDIEZ. THESE TWO GUYS. Luke Voit has managed to maintain the GAINZ from last year, in fact he’s increased his slugging percentage from .468 in ’19 to .SIXOHFOUR in ’20. Which is pretty dang good. But a number that’s better than that number is .SIX EIGHTY FIVE and that’s what Nelson Cruz is slugging these days, tops in the majors (Trout in 2nd at .671). Nelson is ageless and Luke is singlehandedly holding the Yankees offense together with glue and masking tape, and both of these boppers operate out of their respective teams Utility spots and I think it will be important for one of them to hit better than the other one this round. Cruz with the early advantage in Dongs 2-1, due to Doubleheader Dongs. But PLENTY OF ABs TO GO (which is why it’s okay for this preview to come out now)(go fuck yourselves)
ARMED CONFLICT — Max Scherzer(BBS) vs.Sonny Gray (EC)
If the Slugs were gonna set their rotation they’d likely set it for Mad Max to get two starts this week and that is PRECISELYwhat they’re getting. And Max has already given them one great start (7 scoreless, QS/W, 8 Ks) and you gotta figure he’s fixing to give them another one on Sunday. Maybe. So if you’re ~East Coast~ you’re going to need one of your best K guys to come out and match that sorta performance and the PROBLEM with Sonny is his last start came on 9/1 and he got 2 outs and gave up 6 runs. So then they skipped him once through the rotation. So now East Coast fans have to hope that mental refresher pays dividends and he comes out guns blazing Thursday.
Can’t back off that Pre-Season Prediction now baybay, East Coast advances 7.5-6.5
AT LONG LAST the 2019 season nears its conclusion, as we are actually on like DAY THREE of the BCS and it’s anyone’s chip to win. First I need to tell you how the two teams still standing got here. Let’s do that, using my own personal fave KEY CAT format (the cat key is so kewt)…
(ps if you think I’m covering the consolation bracket you have another thing coming bucko)
Ocean Gate Fishing Club Defeat What Were At The Time Known As The East Coast Kings – 7-5-2
MVP: Lucas Giolito – If Lucas Giolito is even a smidddddge less dominant in his lone start of the week perhaps it’s the Kings that move on to the BCS. But that isn’t what happened, Giolito dominated and the Kings lost. 9 IP, 0 ER, 12 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1 CG, 0.00 ERA
LVP:Brendan McKay – On the flip side of the young stud pitcher coin you have Mr. McKay who was NOT dominant, and only lasted 2 innings in his lone start. First time in the Bracket jitters, one surmises. 2 IP, 3 ER, 1 Ks, 13.50 ERA
Quality Starts. It isn’t too often that you see a QS matchup end 9-7, not in TODAY’S BASEBALL no sir. But that is what happened, in a week where both teams got on base at a pretty good clip and pitched WELL with the Fishing Club pitching well-er. Giolito had that dagger CG shutout, Shane Bieber (2 QS) continued being a lot better than I thought he was gonna be, and some guy named Brock Burke also contributed 2 QS of his own. The Kings got 2 QS apiece out of Kershaw and Strasburg, and pitched quite well overall, but ultimately that slight edge in QS pointed to slightly better numbers across the board for the Fishing Club staff. And because of that, they move on.
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: The Fishing Club had the most QS, most Ws, best ERA in Round 2…Jose Abreu had the most RBIs in the round (11)…The Kings had the best OBP in R2 by a pretty good margin, they also owned one of the two players in the whole damned round with 3 or more HRs (GleyberTorres, 3 HRs)… LOOK WHERE THAT GOT EM.…
Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz Defeat Point Loma X-Rayz – 9-5-0
MVP: Justin Verlander – Nobody really JUMPS off the page for their performances here (though there was plenty of decent performances) and I just think that a CG in a playoff matchup is super clutch, particularly if you’re the higher seed, and so fuck it I’m giving it to the other pitcher that threw a CG.9 IP, 2 ER, 11 Ks, 1 QS, 1 CG
LVP:Jon Lester – Gonna pin this one on Jon Lester because he’s still a Sawk to me. THANKS FOR NOTHIN’, JON LESTER. 4.1 IP, 6 ER, 2 Ks, 12.46 ERA
ERA. LIVE BY THE BULK DIE BY THE BULK. The X-Rayz are alway at the forefront of Backyard innovation and the bulk reliever strategy has served them well on many-a-week (it basically did its job of winning Ks and Ws in this week, tbh) BUT the dark side is sometimes your bulk relievers get lit up and sometimes your actual starters don’t pull their weight either and then boom you lose ERA 2.74 to 5.60. Truthfully the ERA is not entirely the fault of bulk relievers (the X-Rayz managed just 2 QS to the Sliderz’ 7) BUT guys like Jalen Beeks (9 ER in 10 IP), Austin Pruitt (6 ER in 5.2 IP), and Wade LeBlanc (4 ER in 4.1 IP) did the X-Rayz no favors. Conversely you have the BackdoorSliderz getting 2 QS out of Aaron Nola (oops) and a CG out of Justin Verlander and a gem out of deGrom (7 IP, 1 ER, 13 Ks) and so yea that team was the one that won. The X-Rayz needed near-perfect pitching to have a shot at the upset and they did not….get…..that. The ERA tells us so.
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: The X-Rayz tossed ONE HUNDRED NINETEEN innings utilizing 31 pitchers in this matchup (92 IP from 21 pitchers for Lacey Twp)….The X-Rayz also racked up 7 triples which feels excessive…Freddie Freeman had the most HRs in R2 (4), Juan Sotohad the most Rs (13)in Week 16…
BACKYARD CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES PREVIEW
AND SO IT IS FINALLY UPON US……once again……cuz this happens every year we have a league obviously….
#1 LACEY TWP BACKDOORSLIDERZ VS. #3 OCEAN GATE FISHING CLUB
I mean in a way WHAT IS TO REALLY PREVIEW HERE, it’s Cody Bellinger & Ronald Acuna Jr. vs. Mike Trout & Mookie Betts. But in another way, that’s not entirely accurate as these two teams sneakily finished 1-2 in overall ERA. So let’s try and touch on that as well. In the past I’ve done this corner by corner so let’s start with the CHALLENGERS to the throne, the Ocean Gate (sometimes Trout) Fishing Club. The OGFC finished with this season with the #3 seed, which certainly came in handy when they tied the #6 seed in the first round. They did so riding the bats of the guys I mentioned above but ALSO Josh Bell has 33 HRs and 104 RBIs right now and ALSO Jose Abreu was a smart deadline addition and ALSO Trea Turnerand that trio of Cubs sluggers are still here and ALSO Yordan Alvarez (21 HRs in 219 ABs, .420 OBP) has been on fucking fire. If there’s a team in the league that can challenge Lacey Twp in the Bats Dept., this is the team. And FORTUNATELY, for those rooting against back-to-back championships just on general principle (not sure who would do such a thing), this team isn’t built on bats alone. Gerrit Cole, Shane Bieber, Luis Castillo, & Lucas Giolito are all very good starting pitcher mens and Felipe Vazquez, Josh Hader, & Seth Lugo are good reliever mens. And the Fishing Club will need just about everyone I name-dropped and/or alluded to in this paragraph to be on their fucking game because uhhh, they’re challenging a team that’s lost once in 19 matchups (TO THE BEARS MIGHT I ADD).
And that team, is of course and unfortunately the top-seeded defending champeen Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz. The Sliderz have breezed through the entire season by pairing a feared group of youthful hitters with an equally impressive pitching staff, truly there’s been no real holes on this team all season (hence only losing once, to the Bears). Acuna Jr., Soto, Bellinger, Albies, Bregman those are all good players and that’s from the paragraph I wrote last season and OH they also have KestonHiuranow and Freddie Freeman is still here and still good and at this point it’s just a small blessing that Fernando Tatis Jr.is donezo for the seasono. Every time I write out these names I feel like apologizing to the rest of the league, so lets switch to pitching so I can just quickly apologize for Aaron Nola (overrated) and move on to the other guys. Verlander, deGrom, Greinke are all older or old-ish but very good, they also have Walker Buehler whom is very young but very good. Their bullpen is solid enough to where I don’t feel like mentioning them but ALSO I probably should because they had 7 Saves in Round 2 (I assume Roberto Osuna is to blame but fuck him). ANYWHO, this team lead the league in Runs and HRs and OBP I do believe and they also were basically top 5 across the board and that’s why they are at where they are at, which is one win away from back-to-back championships for the first time since 2013 (I think we all know whom that was but A REFRESHER IF NEEDED: https://backyardviewsblog.com/2016/08/31/the-history-of-the-league-2011-2013-special-dynasty-edition/).
Overall, it’s hard to argue that these two teams don’t deserve to be in the BCS because ON PAPER they have perhaps the two most impressive rosters and IN ACTUAL PERFORMANCE yanno……one team only lost once all year, the other grabbed the 3 seed (and they’re notorious underachievers). Fortunately this preview is being released while everything’s pretty much a toss-up, everyone feel free to take your sides now because EITHER WAY the league is saddled with another unfortunate champeen. Pick the lesser of two evils I guess? If you give a shit at all?
Well, this is a weird feeling. For the first time in the history of the league, yours truly the TWO time champeeen River City Bad Dude–Margs are not chasing another title run. I know the rest of the league is as broken up as I was about this fact, but in respect of the remaining playoff chasers, we will press on and give a QUICK review of this first round of the playoffs in the year of our lord 2019. Without further ado:
BYE Weeks: Lacey Twp backdoor Sliderzzzzzzzz(z), East Coast Kings
They both did a nice job managing (not managing) their rosters and setting themselves up for their respective weeks in Round 2. Good for them.
Lakehurst Leviathans defeat THE NEW LOOK River City Fightin’ Margs – 9-3-2
NOTES: Shane keeping Mike Fiers has paid immediate dividends, as his centerpiece for 2020 throw a 6 inning 5 earned GEM. This start further entrenches him in the Leviathans 2020 rotation (I assume). Anyways, nobody really gives a fuck about the consolation bracket, but its really fucking swell to see Bryce Harper hit dingerZ when they don’t actually matter. Both teams had solid OBP’s (Shout out to the 2019 OBP record for Shane this week BUT THE MEDIA ISN’T REPORTING THAT) and didn’t start the requisite 12 which is just fine for this situation.
Next Up: Honestly who cares.
Rojo’s Renegade Force defeats Barnegat Banana Slugs – 7-3-4
NOTES: I dunno. Aristides Aquino had a very nice week. The Renegades got some strong Japanese power with an Ohtani JROLL, as well as a lovely outing from Yu Darvish. One must think that this momentum will really push The Renegades into good form for next seas…………. Nevermind. Uh, moving on!
Next Up: Again, Nobody Cares
Pacific Beach X-Rayz Start lots of guys, defeat Island Beach Bears – 9-3-2
You just know you’re in for a long playoff week when you look at your opponent’s starting roster on a Monday and find 8(!) random pickups on for a doubleheader in Yankee Stadium. That’s not what you want, and for Sean’s Bears, the random beat-down continued throughout the entirety of the week. There’s no way to know if Sean actually paid attention this week, but if he did, he would have seen that the X-Rayz started 40 FORTY different batters! If I were Mikey T, I’d make some claim that this was DEFINITELY a record. I’m not sure if it was, but it was a record. Anyways, Jose Ramirez is good again, so he gets my MVP of the week award for this matchup. Also, it can’t feel good to see FORMER Bear, Domingo German tossing a 7-inning gem against his former team. Again, I’m not sure Sean noticed.
FOR THE BEARS, Max Munchy had a nice week, and the team sure got a lot of holds. Marcus Semien rung up a JROLL moral victory, and the Bears did not start 40 batters this week. That’s like all I got here. The real winner here are the Bears, as now their owner can paddle out to sea on his boogie board without having to worry about checking his roster. I think at the end of the day, both teams got what they wanted, and that’s really what this league is all about.
Next Up:Pacific Beach X-Rayz travel to the back woods of Lacey Township to face our defending champion. I expect too many wrestling comments.
Matchup of the Playoff Week, SPONSORED BY DICK’S SPORTING GOODS:
The Ocean Gate Trout Fishing ClubTIE and DEMORALIZEand END the SEASON of the Astoria Isotopes – 6-6-2
Wooooo boy. I mean, where to begin here. This matchup had EVERYTHING, and by everything, I mean that I really started following what was going on around 5:30 on Sunday night. But the drama was palpable heading into that 7pm Little League whatever the fuck that is that they do every year now. It honestly looked like the Fishing Club had this thing all done and dusted at the end of the day on Saturday, but low and behold the #Dopes decided to go out and have a fairly RIDICULOUS 6 homer 14 RBI Sunday afternoon (along with 2 holds and 2 saves) to take a 7-5 lead into this now historic 7pm game. Now, I didn’t watch the game, mainly because A-Rod is so terrible to listen to and he wears uncomfortably tight dress shirts, but the situation had the Topes getting into the semifinals if the score held. The OGFC needed a homer and a double from one of the Bell/Bryant/Rizzo trio, which in hindsight was entirely plausible.
The chat was FILLED with T comments saying, “I WANT THE CHAMP” and talking about his impending matchup with The BDSliderz. I remember thinking to myself “Just how much will I laugh if Bryant doubles, then Rizzo homers right behind him?” very early on in the game (while tracking on my phone, again A-Rod isn’t good). WELL GUYS you’ll never guess what happens in the 5th inning! Mitch Keller gives up a quick double to Kris Bryant, to prompt Mikey T to say something along the lines of “Uh Oh”. Now, we all knew what was coming next, which was inevitably the end of the Dopes I mean Topes season. Trying to rile up my good friend T, I said “Hey wouldn’t it be funny if Rizzo homered here?”. The chat BLEW UP. Rizzo had done it, something ALL TOO MANY have done off of Mitch Keller this season, but this one mattered. The Bryzzo combo had officially sent the hopes of Topes 2nd title crashing down in the Williamsport night. Many little leaguers were cheering. I assume T was not. Heroy was hungover and somewhat down about his victory. Nobody wins sometimes.
Let’s just give a big ole MVP to Bryzzo here for disemboweling the Topes on a late Sunday night.
Next Up: The OGFC head to the East Coast (?) to face the Kings, where there’s no doubt where Heroy will concede victory to R-mac about 15 times and proclaim that he doesn’t really care about this league anyways and wants it all to end.
MVP: Alex Bregman – YEA YEA YEA Acuna Jr. was the best player of the entire postseason run or yada yada but Alex Bregman was the best hitter in the BCS and that is what we do here. We award the best player in the particular series. 12/27, 6 Rs, 3 2Bs, 13 HRs, 9 RBIs, .500 OBP
LVP:Nolan Arenado– SAD. Sad for me to do this to Nolan. But even his late attempts to salvage some respectability can’t erase the fact that he started out 0-18 in this series. NO CLUTCH. Nolan Gorman will be the better Nolan within three years. 3/25, 2 Rs, 1 2B, 2 RBIs, .148 OBP
BackdoorSliderZ Hitter Of Note:Juan Soto was the second best hitter in this series and this doesn’t at all mean that Acuna Jr. wasn’t excellent as well and all of this should annoy all of us what happened here (11/23, 3 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 HR, 6 RBIs, .538 OBP).
BackdoorSliderZ Pitcher Of Note: Death, taxes, and Jacob deGrom having an excellent start for the ButtSliderZ with the Mets failing to get him a W (8 IP, 1 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1.13 ERA).
Isotopes Hitter Of Note: Almost nobody on the Isotopes seemed all that interested in winning this particular championship but I want to shout out Miguel Andujar he seemed like he was trying, EVEN DREW SOME WALKS (7/26, 7 Rs, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs, .345 OBP).
Isotopes Pitcher Of Note: I guess I have to point out German Marquezbecause even though this was against the suck-ass Padres it was impressive and now the ‘Topes will probably keep him into next season but also start him at Coors (5.50 ERA) because they lack a discerning fantasy eye (8 IP, 2 ER, 13 Ks, 1 QS, 2.25 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: FIRSTLY before I even get into an attempt to break this one down let me just say, fine fucking work by both participants/the commish in their media days. For the first time maybe ever I was kinda sad I don’t have instagram because I too would have liked to shit talk the father of Mikey T. But yea great job everyone involved, way to really STEER US into the social media revolution Odom. Maybe I will start Tindering.
ON TO THE MATCHUP………….. This felt less in doubt then it actually was, a bit of a wire to wire performance by the BackdoorSliderz but CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF as Sunday opened it was still there for the taking for the ‘Topes. Unfortunately the big bats of the Isotopes all kinda shrunk simultaneously and the pitching didn’t do enough and I am still not talking about the BackdoorSliderz much THEY WERE FINE. 6-1 cat advantage on the hitting side with mostly ho-hum numbers (.3705 OBP and 19 2Bs play just about anywhere I will concede that) and a 4-2-1 advantage on the pitching side en route to a tidy 10-3-1 championship victory. A CARAYYYYZAY SIX bullpen victories for the Lacey folk to really demoralize an Isotopes squad that pitched okay at times (7 QS) but just okay (4.008 ERA). German Marquezwas masterful in his start for the ‘Topes I will have to concede that. But Walker Buehlerwas masterful pretty much all postseason for Lacey, he is yet another really good really young player they have TROUBLING SIGN.
In the end, it is a good thing that it is ridiculously hard to win back to back titles in this league. Nigh impossible now. So there’s solace in that.
WHAT IS NEXT FOR THE LEAGUE
iiiiii don’t fucking know. Probably more social media hullaballoo. At least I’m probably done changing team names, Brian will be pleased.
AND SO IN THE END, our new commissioner added himself a new championship and we will need a new rule for playoffs minors violations as a result of it…DETAILS BELOW BUT ALSO FIRST CONGRATULATIONS TO THE POINT LOMA X*RAYZ YOUR 2017 BACKYARD CHAMPEENS……
MVP: Jose Ramirez – ONLY FITTING that Jose takes the MVP on the brightest stage of all which is the BCS stage for he has probably been the X-Rayz MVP all season long. After scuffling a bit earlier in the postseason Jose TOTALLY REDEEMED HIMSELF in the last possible round and now the X-Rayz are champions. Also BCS MVP JROLL14/26, 7 Rs, 6 2Bs, 1 3B, 4 HRs, 6 RBIs, 2 SBs, .556 OBP **MVP OF BCS OBVIOUSLY**
LVP:Rougned Odor– Rougned Odor had a bad OBP in the BCS. Rougned Odor has the worst OBP in baseball (.254) and a .213 batting average. Rougned Odor also has 28 HRs and 14 SBs. River City would likely have been better off if Rougned Odor got injured in BCLR1. WHAT AN ENIGMA WRAPPED IN A PUZZLE THIS GUY IS. 3/24, 3 Rs, 1 2B, 2 SBs, .192 OBP **LVP OF BCS OBVIOUSLY**
X-Rayz Hitter Of Note:Elvis Andrus caps a pretty surprising fantasy season (fuckin’ guy is about to go 20-20 folks) with a typically excellent performance, found himself just a steal shy of a JROLL (10/28, 7 Rs, 3 2Bs, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 9 RBIs, .379 OBP).
X-Rayz Pitcher Of Note:Jeff Samardzija may have earned himself a lifetime contract with his performance in the BCS, he tossed a crucial CG on a crucial Monday for the X-Rayz and didn’t let up one bit when his turn came around again on Saturday (16 IP, 1 ER, 14 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 1 CG, 0.56 ERA).
Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note: Gonna reverse the trend of previous matchups and give some Bad Dudes some credit here, SO AJ Pollock put together a JROLL in a valiant and yet losing effort and here it is (6/19, 5 Rs, 1 2B, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs, 1 SB, .409 OBP).
Bad Dudes Pitcher Of Note: And Marcus Stroman has seemingly avoided serious injury after a comebacker forced him out of a Saturday start, one in which the Bad Dudes hoped he would go 9 innings instead of 1.2 (7.2 IP, 1 ER, 7 Ks, 1 QS, 1.17 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: I think the best way to cover this one would be to break things down as they were PRIOR TO the minor league infraction heard ’round the world and then follow up with a breakdown of things AFTER the minor league infraction heard round the world. Cuz yanno that covers the entire week and all.
PRIOR TO the minor league infraction heard ’round the world…
Monday – Monday cames and wents and the X-Rayz were off to a HOT START when it was all said and done: 15 Rs, 5 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 2 HRs, 9 RBIs, 2 SBs, .473 OBP. THE TEAM WIDE JROLL. This would have been bad enough news for a Bad Dudes roster that started a wee bit sluggish (4 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 RBIs, 1 SB, .250 OBP) over 14 fewer ABs but the bigger issue was that the X-Rayz had a Shark start and that one went well for ’em SEE ABOVE. For the Bad Dudes they grabbed a QS out of Stroman and a Save and a Hold out of other people but Monday stung River City a bit. A good bit.
Tuesday – Tuesday saw the Bad Dudes PUNCH BACK, at least in terms of establishing themselves as the power team in this matchup: 13 Rs, 6 HRs, 15 RBIs, .356 OBP, even an SB to boot. They also pieced together 2 QS (in 3 tries), 1 W, 2 Saves, 1 Hold. However this all came with a 4.98 ERA, which is kinda the bad news as you started to see the X-Rayz establish an advantage in that department with their pitching line (on the heels of the Shark CG Shutout): 3.46 ERA, 2 QS, 2 Ws across two starts. ADDITIONALLY the X-Rayz offense didn’t let up much (8 Rs, 6 2Bs, 1 3B, 1 HR, 9 RBIs, 1 SB, .458 OBP), as they put up another collective JROLL and kept the pressure on in the OBP cat with another strong showing.
Wednesday – TECHNICALLY this would be the day of the infraction but it wasn’t noticed until Thursday so we shall throw this one here. And REALLY Brandon Nimmo sucks, but yea Nimmo was the issue here. And he did in fact chip in a 1-3 day with a walk for a .500 OBP, and he was technically illegally a part of an X-Rayz offense that matched the mediocrity of the Bad Dudes offense to keep them in the driver’s seat (6 Rs, 4 2Bs, 1 HR, 4 RBIs, 2 SBs, .313 OBP for the X-Rayz vs. 7 Rs, 2 2Bs, 4 RBIs, 2 SBs, .333 OBP for the Bad Dudes). The pitching side saw the X-Rayz split a pair of starts with one going rather poorly and one going rather well, while the Bad Dudes had but one start and it went but poorly. They also worked in 2 Holds, if nothing else putting themselves in strong position to take the two relief cats and make em their own. AND THEN THE INFRACTION WAS NOTICED
AFTER the minor league infraction heard ’round the world…
We all know the general story, as it captivated a Thursday AM Groupme chat and put the league on the verge of anarchy. The X*Rayz ORIGINALLY tried to wiggle their way out of their own (terrible) rule to the point of not even dropping minor leaguers, but eventually a punishment was established that allowed the integrity of the BCS round to remain: for the crime of illegally rostering Brandon Nimmo and utilizing him in a starting lineup, the X*Rayz would drop their top 4 minor leaguers by ownership (which included X*Rayz postseason hero Rhys Hoskins) and forfeit the use of any minor leaguers for the remainder of this year’s BCS, in addition to forfeiting an upcoming Chris Archer start. IN RETURN the Bad Dudes, to their credit, would not push for full enforcement of the (terrible) rule and therefore would not be handed a freebie championship. And so the battle raged on…..
Thursday – Thursday saw an X*Rayz team, now DEFIANT and EMBRACING THE HEEL ROLE and CONTINUING TO PUT UP NUMBERS in the face of league-wide razzing over their misdeeds…..no jk neither team did much of anything on Thursday. But there WAS in fact some league razzing because I think we can all admit it is kinda fun, I am kinda enjoying dancing around the edge of calling the title “tainted” in this very review and the X*Rayz were very clearly the team I wanted to take the crown in this particular matchup. So yea. Anyways the Thursday offensive numbers were a bit offensive for both sides but definitely moreso for the X*Rayz, perhaps reeling from their crimes against league integrity (3 Rs, 1 RBI, 2 SBs, .255 OBP for the cheaters vs. 6 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 9 RBIs, 1 SB, .264 OBP for the [self-proclaimed] “Bad Dudes”). On the pitching side the Bad Dudes were all quiet while the X*Rayz continued to keep the ERs to a minimum, while also earning a QS and a W and a Save across two starts and two relief appearances.
Friday – It would be clear at this point in the matchup for anyone actually paying attention to the matchup that the Bad Dudes would need a big weekend to steal this one back. And on Friday they started to make some in-roads in some spots. 7 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 8 RBIs, 2 SBs, .370 OBP for Bad Dudes hitters and 29 Ks in 25 innings for Bad Dudes hurlers (2 QS in 3 starts, 2 Saves, 1 Hold). The Bad News for the Bad Dudes would be they clearly could not grab a fucking Win for the life of ’em and the X*Rayz added another one of those and another QS across two starts. And another 3B. and another SB. But at least their OBP was a not great .281?
Saturday – Saturday came and went and with it went a lot of the Bad Dudes remaining hopes, as the X*Rayz once again showed themselves to be adept at pushing the right buttons in doubleheader matchups and the Bad Dudes responded by putting up a .167 OBP. Perhaps most excitement for the Bad Dudes came from Lance Lynn very nearly going 9 against the Giants, which would have been helpful clearly. But probably not helpful enough given the X-Rayz overall Saturday stat accumulations: 7 Rs, 2 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 2 HRs, 12 RBIs, 4 SBs, .391 OBP, 22 Ks in 19.1 innings, 1 QS in 3 tries, 2 Ws. Also Stroman left his start after 1.2 IP and Chris Archer, the man handpicked by the Bad Dudes to take a seat as punishment, left his start after 0.0 and 2 earned. So Saturday was a real kick in the dick on a couple different fronts for River City.
Sunday – Sunday saw the X*Rayz concede Ks but nothing else. Your final day:
Bad Dudes: 5 Rs, 1 2B, 3 HRs, 10 RBIs, .328 OBP / 12 Ks, 12 ER, 0 QS across 2 starts, 8.31 ERA
X*Rayz: 10 Rs, 5 2Bs, 1 3Bs, 5 HRs, 11 RBIs, .478 OBP STRONG CLOSEOUT PERFORMANCE FOR THE HITTERS / They were all outta starts, but they got 2 Ks and 1 ER out of 2 relief appearances.
A very strong offensive offensive performance for most of the week (any swoons on a day-to-day basis seemed to coincide with swoons for the Bad Dudes) gave the X*Rayz a 5-2 cat advantage in the BCS on offense, and a 2.620 ERA helped the X*Rayz to a 4-3 cat advantage in pitching, and THAT WAS THAT. a 9-5-0 victory secures the X*Rayz franchise the 2017 BCL Championship.
AND SO IN THE END…….In the end the X*Rayz put together a great playoff run, particularly in Round 2 and the BCS, and that is why they are your 2017 champions. The River City Bad Dudes did not lose due to some sort of unfair advantage gained by using Brandon Nimmo on a Wednesday, using Brandon Nimmo benefits no one. The Bad Dudes simply ran outta steam towards the end of yet another great playoff run of their, no doubt feeling the effects of REALLY REALLY GOOD PLAYERS being lost to injury even before they made it to the second round. This matchup was not without controversy and the entire league is better for it as now really nobody can brag about anything. River City wants to brag about reaching 3 straight BCS games? WELL SURE DO IT but their record in those 3 was 1-2 and it invites comparisons to another franchise that reached 3 straight and won all damn 3 of ’em. Point Loma wants to talk about their championship team too much until everyone is tired of getting updates about what Jeff Samardzija is up to? WELL SURE DO IT but if they start sounding too braggy surely someone else will mention that they had to ignore their own created punishments in order to not take an L in a really terrible way in the championship and now everyone is going to push for Fantrax forever and it is all their fault. IN A WAY WE ALL WIN HERE. I deem dynasty year one a success.
For the X*Rayz, this marks their franchise’s FIRST CHAMPIONSHIP and their owner’s FOURTH OVERALL championship, his first since the Great Dynasty Split of whatever year that was……that split occurred prior to the 2015 season, is when that was. Let the record show Mr. Odom has now stood atop the Backyard Mountain at the conclusion of 4 of 7 seasons in the Backyard, folks. For the Bad Dudes this is BACK TO BACK seasons of coming up short in the end, inviting comparisons to I dunno…..I wanna say Bad Dudallo Bills but they need to lose two more in a row. The early 70s dolphins lost one then won two in a row so currently they are kinda like them but in reverse, plus that one season was the perfect season so that won’t work. LATE EIGHTIES BRONCOS lost two in a row, then didn’t make it, then lost again but they’v also won a few. Here is to the Bad Dudes not making the 2018 BCS and then losing the 2019 BCS to make this comparison work. Here is to that.
Next Week aka This Week: NEXT WEEK AKA THIS WEEK ALL OF OUR LIVES ARE EMPTY. I mean jk, trades will open back up for a brief time and that should keep us slightly busy for a few days maybe. And for one team, the crushing emptiness will be slightly less empty for all of about 7 minutes. That is generally how long a championship feels enjoyable for, in my humble experience. And that team is the POINT LOMA X*RAYZ…. Congrats to the 2017 CHAMPIONS THE X*RAYZ OF POINT LOMA
WHAT IS NEXT FOR THE LEAGUE
Usually this section has a bunch of fancy stuff (usually as in like the one time I wrote one up) but THIS TIME, I am not quite sure. I would imagine a lot more calls to attempt a move to Fantrax after the SHENANIGANS above. I also envisioned a world where rosters stay open and available until ESPN shuts them down in like February to do absolutely goddamned nothing for a month and change, but that world doesn’t exist apparently so you only have like an additional week to make some early offseason trades (I imagine rosters will stay open for add/drops year round but again WHO KNOWS). SO GET THE TRADIN’. I also will be attempting to add some bread to this equation, then and only then will I make a complete effort to win a championship. Once I could win like $180 for it. Mostly we just have another successful fantasy season in the books and I want to thank all of the participants AND LOYAL BLOG READERS for making it a lovely time and special shout out to the two new owners who did damned fine work and TALK TO YOU ALL SOON. Blog will be updated randomly and without rhyme or reason, don’t think you can coax it back to life with shitty trades this week either TRADE REVIEW IS UNDER REVIEW.
THE FINISH LINE IS FINALLY NIGH FRIENDS. AFTER MONTHS AND MONTHS OF THIS SHIT WE HAVE OUR TWO POTENTIAL CHAMPEENS ALL LINED UP AND READY TO GO, AND IT TOOK A ROUND 2 FEATURING ONE SNOOZER AND ONE NAILBITER TO GET THERE. LET US REVIEW THOSE MATCHUPS FOR HOWEVER LONG I FEEL LIKE REVIEWING THEM, IN DESCENDING ORDER FROM SNOOZER TO NAILBITER…..
MVP: Rhys Fucking Hoskins Folks – RHYS FUCKING HOSKINS FOLKS. I don’t even know what to say really, other than that Rhys Hoskins has maybe already clinched the finest individual performance ever seen in a BackyardBracket and he’s done it all as a High Minors bat. WON’T SEE THIS AGAIN FOLKS. Folks counter: 3. 10/26, 7 Rs, 1 2B, 6 HRs, 15 RBIs, .448 OBP
LVP:Dominic Smith– Dominic Smith got a lot of ABs this round and maybe more than he deserved and he was not good in those ABs. 2/19, 1 RBI, .100 OBP **LVP OF ROUND TWO**
X-Rayz Hitter Of Note: CONTROVERSIALLY TRADED Trey Mancini just put together a helluva R2 performance so I bet a lot of you feel like jackasses over logging those complaints I know I would that was a picture perfect trade (11/23, 4 Rs, 1 2B, 1 3B, 1 HR, 8 RBIs, .519 OBP).
X-Rayz Pitcher Of Note: Anddd Chris Archer is definitely on top of his game at this point of the season, and that is something the X-Rayz should feel good about and they should also probably feel good about his chances in an upcoming matchup with the suckass White Sox (13 IP, 2 ER, 18 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 1.38 ERA).
Banana Slugs Hitter Of Note: CONTROVERSIALLY (I would imagine, because you people bitch about everything) we are going to continue to only highlight the losers of the losers so here take a look at this loser named Jose Bautista (2/18, 1 R, 1 RBI, .190 OBP).
Banana Slugs Pitcher Of Note: Also check out this loser Zack Britton who simply couldn’t stay healthy this season and decided to demonstrate that ON THE BIG STAGE OF THE BRACKET following a blown save (0.2 IP, 2 ER, 27.00 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: I will start by saying the Slugs clearly had a pretty poor week at a pretty poor time to do so, that much is clear. This was a poor time to throw up single digit HRs and a mere 33 Rs and an even mere-er 32 RBIs. And despite the loss they had a helluva season and they should be commended for their work in dealing with their team’s share of injuries and the StarMar suspension. HATS OFF TO EM. But also…… hats off to the X-Rayz for their Round 2 performance, as even a “good” week outta Barnegat would likely have been not good enough against these across the board numbers for Point Loma: 47 Rs, 19 2Bs, 3 3Bs, 13 HRs, 59 RBIs, 10 SBs, .3285 OBP, 101 Ks, 9 QS, 5 Ws, 7 Saves, 2 Holds, 1.958 ERA. EASILY the best and most complete performance the X-Rayz have put together PROBABLY EVER and about as well-rounded of a week as you will ever see out of any team in the playoffs. Which is the time of year you would want to have such a week. A sub-2 ERA this time of year is a huge accomplishment and it has a trickle-down effect, if your ERA is under 2 you’ve probably done a solid job in the rest of the pitching cats. So even though the Slugs pitched pretty well (88 Ks, 6 QS, 7 Ws, 7 Saves, 4 Holds, 3.075 ERA) they only ended up taking 2 cats on that side, and none on the other side, and that’s how you get your breakdown here. THE CURSE OF THE BYE CONTINUES and it is as sloppily researched as the Runner Up Curse, which is now officially dead thanks to these dickhead (Bad) Dudes. But we will talk about them in a sec; in this one, the Point Loma X-Rayz are victorious and they move onto the BACKYARD CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES presumably with confidence at an all-time high. The Barnegat Banana Slugs move on to the offseason, but at least school starts back up or something? Maybe play fantasy football? I don’t want to play fantasy sports for a while but I don’t fault anyone that does.
Next Week aka This Week: #3 X-Rayz vs. #4 Bad Dudes, #2 Banana Slugs vs. The Man In The Mirror (perhaps asking him to change his ways?)
MVP: Giancarlo Stanton – In a matchup as tight as this one Stanton’s performance was crucial, he kinda needed to do the work of a couple superstars at once to make up for a few injuries and he kinda did. And so I hate him and I am glad that baseball hit him in the face back when that baseball hit him in the face. 13/29, 8 Rs, 3 2Bs, 5 HRs, 11 RBIs, .500 OBP **MVP OF ROUND TWO**
LVP:Keon Broxton – Keon Broxton got a lot of ABs this round and maybe more than he deserved was not good in them and THIS WILL BE REMEMBERED come next year when a bunch of young OFs come to take his job on my team (and possibly on his actual team). 2/18, 1 RBI, .111 OBP
Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note:Xander Bogaertsdelivered the one fucking triple in this matchup and we spent the rest of the week trying to spot start triples outta Kevin Kiermaier so NOTABLE PERFORMANCE XANDER GOOD JOB YOU FUCK (7/24, 6 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 3B, 1 HR, 4 RBIs, .393 OBP).
Bad Dudes Pitcher Of Note:Dan Straily gave the Bad Dudes 10 Ks across 6 IP and then turned around and joined my team BECAUSE HE IS A WHORE and only delivered 5 against an equally shitty opponent, dick move Dan (6 IP, 3 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 4.50 ERA for RCBD ….. 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 Ks, 1 QS, 3.00 ERA for BPMZ).
MooniniteZ Hitter Of Note:Andrew McCutchen was no peach himself, no peach at all (3/23, 1 R, 1 RBI, .231 OBP).
MooniniteZ Pitcher Of Note: The MooniniteZ tried to draw a line in the sand about what type of player would be too Red Sawksy to get a roster spot and CLEARLY John Lackey was too Red Sawksy and so fuck him he will never be seen on a squad of mine again (5 IP, 6 ER, 3 Ks, 10.80 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: I don’t even know how to approach this one other than to say it was a fucking battle to the bitter end, as both teams put together shiite weekends (well at least Saturday and Sunday, the Bad Dudes Friday was the ultimate difference maker really) and as a result had to rely upon the machinations of a Mets-Nationals Sunday Night Baseball affair to sort this whole thing out. In the end this thing was razor thin and the Bad Dudes pulled it out.
First the weekend numbers: 10 Rs, 5 2Bs, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs for River City vs. 13 Rs, 6 2Bs, 3 HRs, 9 RBIs for the BPMZ. So hey SLIGHTLY BETTER FOR THE BPMZ RIGHT? But we had to recover from a fairly weak Friday (7 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs) against a very non-weak Friday for the RCBD (12 Rs, 2 2Bs, 5 HRs, 13 RBIs, superior OBP EVERY GODDAMNED DAY) and that put us in a wee bit of a hole.
Now a cherry-picked display of the razor-thin margins: Runs Bad Dudes +1, Triples Bad Dudes +1, HRs MooniniteZ +1, RBIs TIED, Strikeouts Bad Dudes +1, QS Bad Dudes +1, Wins Bad Dudes +1, Holds Bad Dudes +1.
Now a few words about the Sunday evening game: The MooniniteZ headed into the game needing 9 Ks or a Hold between Tanner Roark and Brandon Kintzler to advance via a Tie, presuming no Runs or RBIs for Wilmer Difo and no Holds for whichever clowns the Bad Dudes picked up for the double header (those clowns were Matt Albers and Josh Smoker). And through the first 2 innings was LOOKIN GOOD as Roark racked up 5 Ks through 2 and Difo had yet to Difuck me. But eventually Difo Difucked me (he would score twice) and eventually Roark ran outta gas one K short of the tie and then Hansel Robles Roblew it all cuz he sucks dick and then albers came in for a hold and got a k cuz he is fat and kintzler never sniffed the game not that it mattered and that was that. The Bad Dudes both SWEATIN BULLETS due to the Mets shittiness and then rescued from the jaws of defeat or defeat via tiebreaker by that same Mets shittiness. Years of fanhood validated in a strangely beautiful way. The MooniniteZ fall short after grabbing a First Round Bye for the second year runnin’
The River City Bad Dudes will advance to their third straight BCS, and fourth overall, to take on the Point Loma X-Rayz. The Bellcrest Park MooniniteZ will do none of these things.
Next Week aka This Week: #4Bad Dudes @. #3 X-Rayz, #1 MooniniteZ @ Retiring To A Quiet Cabin For Months To Ponder What Lies Next For The Franchise But Also Updating This Blog For A Bit Longer So Not Being All That Quiet And Also Not Going To Any Cabins
BACKYARD CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES PREVIEW
AND SO IT IS FINALLY UPON US, after months of annoying trade offers and transactions and complaining about trade offers and transactions and number of DL spots and whether or not people need to adhere to agreed upon start limits in the long weeks and so on and so forth man I am already burnt out on the fantasy front BUT FIRST…..we have a Backyard Championship Series to play out y’all. And it is a good one between two opponents each finding themselves in the BCS for the FOURTH time overall, the third in a row for Bad Dudes ownership and the first appearance for X-Rayz since they joined forces with yours truly to rattle off 3 straight championships in their first 3 years in this league (a league full of the still fantasy bitter and still fantasy jealous that will complain about me even citing those appearances but HEY THEY HAPPENED if “we couldn’t compete with a team with two owners in the playoffs because we aren’t fantasy good enough to do that” is the hill you all want to die on DIE LIKE A DOG ON THAT HILL)…where was I? Sometimes I use too many parentheses and they don’t necessarily function the way I think the inventor of the parentheses intended, WHOMever that person may be. Le’ts talk about this matchup a bit more below, yanno in the actual preview part.
#3 POINT LOMA X-RAYZ VS. #4 RIVER CITY BAD DUDES
We are gonna take this shit apart corner by corner, in honor of boxing being briefly relevant again for a hot moment there, and IN OUR FIRST CORNER we have the #3 Seed Point Loma X-Rayz. I dunno if you are supposed to put the lower seed in the first corner but who fucking cares, the X-Rayz are HERE ladies and gentlemen and they are here to take your beloved trophy and whisk it across the continent baggage fees be damned. And they got here with the same formula that’s gotten them into the playoffs every goddamned season since they took over their individual franchise, and that formula is speed + speed. They were 1st in Triples and Stolen Bases and 2nd in Runs on account of all those speedsters getting into scoring position, they were also last in RBIs BUT DON’T TELL THAT TO THE PLAYOFFS VERSION as they just got finished using Rhys Hoskins and co. to rack up 57 RBIs on a mere 13 HRs, six of which came from Rhys. The X-Rayz actually find themselves 9th in RBIs as a result of all this madness, surpassing those dumb OGTFC because they have everyone on their bench. “WAHHHHH BUT THINK OF THE SEASON LONG STATS.” The point is the X-Rayz can absolutely steal the RBIs category in this matchup (HRs I would likely be a bit less confident in but with Hoskins and an ailing Bad Dudes roster WHO KNOWS) while also maintaining their usual paces in the speed-centric cats and if all that comes together that could spell trouble for their opposition here. So let us meet said opposition.
In the other corner we have the #4 Seeded River City Bad Dudes, making an IMPRESSIVE third straight appearance in the BCS. Would be more impressive if they had one last year, and will end up feeling kinda sad if they lose two in a row, but FOR NOW IMPRESSIVE (take that takedown you fuckers). The Bad Dudes CONTINUE to press on despite mounting injuries to fantasy studs (Harper, Contreras, I guess Lester to an extent, Salazar and now Cespedes) and that is commendable but also fuck them is what I think. River City was the second most prolific HR and RBI team this season so you’ll get a bit of a power vs. speed matchup here, but when this lineup is on and at least relatively healthy they can put up some eye-popping numbers. Their Round 1 offense was so good that I intentionally talked up the X-Rayz Round 2 offense just as a way of ignoring it, but the numbers were the best of the playoffs in most cats and they were as such: 59 Rs, 20 2Bs, 3 3Bs, 21 HRs, 67 RBIs, 7 SBs, .4087 OBP. Just OBLITERATED the Isotopes down to their electrons. They are also as good as anyone at pushing the right buttons this time of year. HENCE the third straight BCS appearance and all. It should also be noted that with Giancarlo Stanton being on another planet the way he is right now (shades of what I presume Bryce Harper was like back in 2015?) you have more wiggle room to push the wrong buttons or push no buttons at all or what have you.
These two teams battled twice in the regular season, I suppose at some point I can stop saying that as it can just be assumed going forward, but yea they did and just as in the first two rounds the Bad Dudes will be taking on an opponent that SWEPT em. Maybe law of averages is on their side or something. In Week 8 it was the X-Rayz defeating the Bad Dudes 7-6-1, and in Week 17 SAME but with a much healthier margin of 10-4-0. Surely the X-Rayz are hoping the Week 17 matchup bodes well given its proximity to this current week (which would technically be Week 21), surely the Bad Dudes are hoping I dunno that it is really hard to beat a team three times in a row or something. And in true baseball playoffs type fashion we have the River City Bad Dudes representing our National Division or League or whatfuckingever and the Point Loma X-Rayz representing our American Division or League or whatfuckingever. So that is cute.
WHAT TO WATCH FOR: JUST WATCH. These two teams are as adept as anyone at playoff maneuvering so there could be plenty of fantasy tradecraft along the way but really this is just going to be a real good championship battle, as both teams want this one badly and won’t feel badly about taking it from the other guy. PLENTY OF NARRATIVE here: the Bad Dudes attempting to beat 3 teams they went a combined 0-6 against in the regular season, the X-Rayz attempting to win their first title as a standalone franchise, uhhh they are both named “Mike” or whatever if you’re into that one. I think the Bad Dudes knocked out the X-Rayz last year so there is that. JUST GONNA BE A BATTLE and I expect it to be every bit as tense and down to the wire as the battle the Bad Dudes just endured. You know just to insert myself into the narrative. And WHILE I AM HERE the Bad Dudes would also be reaching 3 titles by going through the other two owners with 3 titles so that’s a narrative thing. LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME. No I am kidding don’t look at me but pay attention to this BCS, because this was a helluva competitive season and as such I expect a competitive finale.
AND SO IT HAS BEEN DECIDED, ONE OF THESE TWO TEAMS SHALL BE OUR 2017 CHAMPION COME THIS TIME NEXT WEEK. I EXPECT THIS ONE TO BE A BATTLE START TO FINISH SO EXPECT SOME LATE-BBQ DRAMA NEXT WEEKEND AND A BUNCH OF BUDDY BUDDY “COMPLIMENTING EACH OTHER’S TEAMS AT 11 PM EST WHEN EVERYONE ELSE IS NOT IN THE CHAT” TYPE STUFF EVERY NIGHT BEFORE THEN. MAYBE NOT SATURDAY. BY SATURDAY SHIT WILL GET REAL. I HOPE.