MVP: Alex Bregman – YEA YEA YEA Acuna Jr. was the best player of the entire postseason run or yada yada but Alex Bregman was the best hitter in the BCS and that is what we do here. We award the best player in the particular series. 12/27, 6 Rs, 3 2Bs, 13 HRs, 9 RBIs, .500 OBP
LVP:Nolan Arenado– SAD. Sad for me to do this to Nolan. But even his late attempts to salvage some respectability can’t erase the fact that he started out 0-18 in this series. NO CLUTCH. Nolan Gorman will be the better Nolan within three years. 3/25, 2 Rs, 1 2B, 2 RBIs, .148 OBP
BackdoorSliderZ Hitter Of Note:Juan Soto was the second best hitter in this series and this doesn’t at all mean that Acuna Jr. wasn’t excellent as well and all of this should annoy all of us what happened here (11/23, 3 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 HR, 6 RBIs, .538 OBP).
BackdoorSliderZ Pitcher Of Note: Death, taxes, and Jacob deGrom having an excellent start for the ButtSliderZ with the Mets failing to get him a W (8 IP, 1 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1.13 ERA).
Isotopes Hitter Of Note: Almost nobody on the Isotopes seemed all that interested in winning this particular championship but I want to shout out Miguel Andujar he seemed like he was trying, EVEN DREW SOME WALKS (7/26, 7 Rs, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs, .345 OBP).
Isotopes Pitcher Of Note: I guess I have to point out German Marquezbecause even though this was against the suck-ass Padres it was impressive and now the ‘Topes will probably keep him into next season but also start him at Coors (5.50 ERA) because they lack a discerning fantasy eye (8 IP, 2 ER, 13 Ks, 1 QS, 2.25 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: FIRSTLY before I even get into an attempt to break this one down let me just say, fine fucking work by both participants/the commish in their media days. For the first time maybe ever I was kinda sad I don’t have instagram because I too would have liked to shit talk the father of Mikey T. But yea great job everyone involved, way to really STEER US into the social media revolution Odom. Maybe I will start Tindering.
ON TO THE MATCHUP………….. This felt less in doubt then it actually was, a bit of a wire to wire performance by the BackdoorSliderz but CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF as Sunday opened it was still there for the taking for the ‘Topes. Unfortunately the big bats of the Isotopes all kinda shrunk simultaneously and the pitching didn’t do enough and I am still not talking about the BackdoorSliderz much THEY WERE FINE. 6-1 cat advantage on the hitting side with mostly ho-hum numbers (.3705 OBP and 19 2Bs play just about anywhere I will concede that) and a 4-2-1 advantage on the pitching side en route to a tidy 10-3-1 championship victory. A CARAYYYYZAY SIX bullpen victories for the Lacey folk to really demoralize an Isotopes squad that pitched okay at times (7 QS) but just okay (4.008 ERA). German Marquezwas masterful in his start for the ‘Topes I will have to concede that. But Walker Buehlerwas masterful pretty much all postseason for Lacey, he is yet another really good really young player they have TROUBLING SIGN.
In the end, it is a good thing that it is ridiculously hard to win back to back titles in this league. Nigh impossible now. So there’s solace in that.
WHAT IS NEXT FOR THE LEAGUE
iiiiii don’t fucking know. Probably more social media hullaballoo. At least I’m probably done changing team names, Brian will be pleased.
AND SO IN THE END, our new commissioner added himself a new championship and we will need a new rule for playoffs minors violations as a result of it…DETAILS BELOW BUT ALSO FIRST CONGRATULATIONS TO THE POINT LOMA X*RAYZ YOUR 2017 BACKYARD CHAMPEENS……
MVP: Jose Ramirez – ONLY FITTING that Jose takes the MVP on the brightest stage of all which is the BCS stage for he has probably been the X-Rayz MVP all season long. After scuffling a bit earlier in the postseason Jose TOTALLY REDEEMED HIMSELF in the last possible round and now the X-Rayz are champions. Also BCS MVP JROLL14/26, 7 Rs, 6 2Bs, 1 3B, 4 HRs, 6 RBIs, 2 SBs, .556 OBP **MVP OF BCS OBVIOUSLY**
LVP:Rougned Odor– Rougned Odor had a bad OBP in the BCS. Rougned Odor has the worst OBP in baseball (.254) and a .213 batting average. Rougned Odor also has 28 HRs and 14 SBs. River City would likely have been better off if Rougned Odor got injured in BCLR1. WHAT AN ENIGMA WRAPPED IN A PUZZLE THIS GUY IS. 3/24, 3 Rs, 1 2B, 2 SBs, .192 OBP **LVP OF BCS OBVIOUSLY**
X-Rayz Hitter Of Note:Elvis Andrus caps a pretty surprising fantasy season (fuckin’ guy is about to go 20-20 folks) with a typically excellent performance, found himself just a steal shy of a JROLL (10/28, 7 Rs, 3 2Bs, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 9 RBIs, .379 OBP).
X-Rayz Pitcher Of Note:Jeff Samardzija may have earned himself a lifetime contract with his performance in the BCS, he tossed a crucial CG on a crucial Monday for the X-Rayz and didn’t let up one bit when his turn came around again on Saturday (16 IP, 1 ER, 14 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 1 CG, 0.56 ERA).
Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note: Gonna reverse the trend of previous matchups and give some Bad Dudes some credit here, SO AJ Pollock put together a JROLL in a valiant and yet losing effort and here it is (6/19, 5 Rs, 1 2B, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs, 1 SB, .409 OBP).
Bad Dudes Pitcher Of Note: And Marcus Stroman has seemingly avoided serious injury after a comebacker forced him out of a Saturday start, one in which the Bad Dudes hoped he would go 9 innings instead of 1.2 (7.2 IP, 1 ER, 7 Ks, 1 QS, 1.17 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: I think the best way to cover this one would be to break things down as they were PRIOR TO the minor league infraction heard ’round the world and then follow up with a breakdown of things AFTER the minor league infraction heard round the world. Cuz yanno that covers the entire week and all.
PRIOR TO the minor league infraction heard ’round the world…
Monday – Monday cames and wents and the X-Rayz were off to a HOT START when it was all said and done: 15 Rs, 5 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 2 HRs, 9 RBIs, 2 SBs, .473 OBP. THE TEAM WIDE JROLL. This would have been bad enough news for a Bad Dudes roster that started a wee bit sluggish (4 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 RBIs, 1 SB, .250 OBP) over 14 fewer ABs but the bigger issue was that the X-Rayz had a Shark start and that one went well for ’em SEE ABOVE. For the Bad Dudes they grabbed a QS out of Stroman and a Save and a Hold out of other people but Monday stung River City a bit. A good bit.
Tuesday – Tuesday saw the Bad Dudes PUNCH BACK, at least in terms of establishing themselves as the power team in this matchup: 13 Rs, 6 HRs, 15 RBIs, .356 OBP, even an SB to boot. They also pieced together 2 QS (in 3 tries), 1 W, 2 Saves, 1 Hold. However this all came with a 4.98 ERA, which is kinda the bad news as you started to see the X-Rayz establish an advantage in that department with their pitching line (on the heels of the Shark CG Shutout): 3.46 ERA, 2 QS, 2 Ws across two starts. ADDITIONALLY the X-Rayz offense didn’t let up much (8 Rs, 6 2Bs, 1 3B, 1 HR, 9 RBIs, 1 SB, .458 OBP), as they put up another collective JROLL and kept the pressure on in the OBP cat with another strong showing.
Wednesday – TECHNICALLY this would be the day of the infraction but it wasn’t noticed until Thursday so we shall throw this one here. And REALLY Brandon Nimmo sucks, but yea Nimmo was the issue here. And he did in fact chip in a 1-3 day with a walk for a .500 OBP, and he was technically illegally a part of an X-Rayz offense that matched the mediocrity of the Bad Dudes offense to keep them in the driver’s seat (6 Rs, 4 2Bs, 1 HR, 4 RBIs, 2 SBs, .313 OBP for the X-Rayz vs. 7 Rs, 2 2Bs, 4 RBIs, 2 SBs, .333 OBP for the Bad Dudes). The pitching side saw the X-Rayz split a pair of starts with one going rather poorly and one going rather well, while the Bad Dudes had but one start and it went but poorly. They also worked in 2 Holds, if nothing else putting themselves in strong position to take the two relief cats and make em their own. AND THEN THE INFRACTION WAS NOTICED
AFTER the minor league infraction heard ’round the world…
We all know the general story, as it captivated a Thursday AM Groupme chat and put the league on the verge of anarchy. The X*Rayz ORIGINALLY tried to wiggle their way out of their own (terrible) rule to the point of not even dropping minor leaguers, but eventually a punishment was established that allowed the integrity of the BCS round to remain: for the crime of illegally rostering Brandon Nimmo and utilizing him in a starting lineup, the X*Rayz would drop their top 4 minor leaguers by ownership (which included X*Rayz postseason hero Rhys Hoskins) and forfeit the use of any minor leaguers for the remainder of this year’s BCS, in addition to forfeiting an upcoming Chris Archer start. IN RETURN the Bad Dudes, to their credit, would not push for full enforcement of the (terrible) rule and therefore would not be handed a freebie championship. And so the battle raged on…..
Thursday – Thursday saw an X*Rayz team, now DEFIANT and EMBRACING THE HEEL ROLE and CONTINUING TO PUT UP NUMBERS in the face of league-wide razzing over their misdeeds…..no jk neither team did much of anything on Thursday. But there WAS in fact some league razzing because I think we can all admit it is kinda fun, I am kinda enjoying dancing around the edge of calling the title “tainted” in this very review and the X*Rayz were very clearly the team I wanted to take the crown in this particular matchup. So yea. Anyways the Thursday offensive numbers were a bit offensive for both sides but definitely moreso for the X*Rayz, perhaps reeling from their crimes against league integrity (3 Rs, 1 RBI, 2 SBs, .255 OBP for the cheaters vs. 6 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 9 RBIs, 1 SB, .264 OBP for the [self-proclaimed] “Bad Dudes”). On the pitching side the Bad Dudes were all quiet while the X*Rayz continued to keep the ERs to a minimum, while also earning a QS and a W and a Save across two starts and two relief appearances.
Friday – It would be clear at this point in the matchup for anyone actually paying attention to the matchup that the Bad Dudes would need a big weekend to steal this one back. And on Friday they started to make some in-roads in some spots. 7 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 8 RBIs, 2 SBs, .370 OBP for Bad Dudes hitters and 29 Ks in 25 innings for Bad Dudes hurlers (2 QS in 3 starts, 2 Saves, 1 Hold). The Bad News for the Bad Dudes would be they clearly could not grab a fucking Win for the life of ’em and the X*Rayz added another one of those and another QS across two starts. And another 3B. and another SB. But at least their OBP was a not great .281?
Saturday – Saturday came and went and with it went a lot of the Bad Dudes remaining hopes, as the X*Rayz once again showed themselves to be adept at pushing the right buttons in doubleheader matchups and the Bad Dudes responded by putting up a .167 OBP. Perhaps most excitement for the Bad Dudes came from Lance Lynn very nearly going 9 against the Giants, which would have been helpful clearly. But probably not helpful enough given the X-Rayz overall Saturday stat accumulations: 7 Rs, 2 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 2 HRs, 12 RBIs, 4 SBs, .391 OBP, 22 Ks in 19.1 innings, 1 QS in 3 tries, 2 Ws. Also Stroman left his start after 1.2 IP and Chris Archer, the man handpicked by the Bad Dudes to take a seat as punishment, left his start after 0.0 and 2 earned. So Saturday was a real kick in the dick on a couple different fronts for River City.
Sunday – Sunday saw the X*Rayz concede Ks but nothing else. Your final day:
Bad Dudes: 5 Rs, 1 2B, 3 HRs, 10 RBIs, .328 OBP / 12 Ks, 12 ER, 0 QS across 2 starts, 8.31 ERA
X*Rayz: 10 Rs, 5 2Bs, 1 3Bs, 5 HRs, 11 RBIs, .478 OBP STRONG CLOSEOUT PERFORMANCE FOR THE HITTERS / They were all outta starts, but they got 2 Ks and 1 ER out of 2 relief appearances.
A very strong offensive offensive performance for most of the week (any swoons on a day-to-day basis seemed to coincide with swoons for the Bad Dudes) gave the X*Rayz a 5-2 cat advantage in the BCS on offense, and a 2.620 ERA helped the X*Rayz to a 4-3 cat advantage in pitching, and THAT WAS THAT. a 9-5-0 victory secures the X*Rayz franchise the 2017 BCL Championship.
AND SO IN THE END…….In the end the X*Rayz put together a great playoff run, particularly in Round 2 and the BCS, and that is why they are your 2017 champions. The River City Bad Dudes did not lose due to some sort of unfair advantage gained by using Brandon Nimmo on a Wednesday, using Brandon Nimmo benefits no one. The Bad Dudes simply ran outta steam towards the end of yet another great playoff run of their, no doubt feeling the effects of REALLY REALLY GOOD PLAYERS being lost to injury even before they made it to the second round. This matchup was not without controversy and the entire league is better for it as now really nobody can brag about anything. River City wants to brag about reaching 3 straight BCS games? WELL SURE DO IT but their record in those 3 was 1-2 and it invites comparisons to another franchise that reached 3 straight and won all damn 3 of ’em. Point Loma wants to talk about their championship team too much until everyone is tired of getting updates about what Jeff Samardzija is up to? WELL SURE DO IT but if they start sounding too braggy surely someone else will mention that they had to ignore their own created punishments in order to not take an L in a really terrible way in the championship and now everyone is going to push for Fantrax forever and it is all their fault. IN A WAY WE ALL WIN HERE. I deem dynasty year one a success.
For the X*Rayz, this marks their franchise’s FIRST CHAMPIONSHIP and their owner’s FOURTH OVERALL championship, his first since the Great Dynasty Split of whatever year that was……that split occurred prior to the 2015 season, is when that was. Let the record show Mr. Odom has now stood atop the Backyard Mountain at the conclusion of 4 of 7 seasons in the Backyard, folks. For the Bad Dudes this is BACK TO BACK seasons of coming up short in the end, inviting comparisons to I dunno…..I wanna say Bad Dudallo Bills but they need to lose two more in a row. The early 70s dolphins lost one then won two in a row so currently they are kinda like them but in reverse, plus that one season was the perfect season so that won’t work. LATE EIGHTIES BRONCOS lost two in a row, then didn’t make it, then lost again but they’v also won a few. Here is to the Bad Dudes not making the 2018 BCS and then losing the 2019 BCS to make this comparison work. Here is to that.
Next Week aka This Week: NEXT WEEK AKA THIS WEEK ALL OF OUR LIVES ARE EMPTY. I mean jk, trades will open back up for a brief time and that should keep us slightly busy for a few days maybe. And for one team, the crushing emptiness will be slightly less empty for all of about 7 minutes. That is generally how long a championship feels enjoyable for, in my humble experience. And that team is the POINT LOMA X*RAYZ…. Congrats to the 2017 CHAMPIONS THE X*RAYZ OF POINT LOMA
WHAT IS NEXT FOR THE LEAGUE
Usually this section has a bunch of fancy stuff (usually as in like the one time I wrote one up) but THIS TIME, I am not quite sure. I would imagine a lot more calls to attempt a move to Fantrax after the SHENANIGANS above. I also envisioned a world where rosters stay open and available until ESPN shuts them down in like February to do absolutely goddamned nothing for a month and change, but that world doesn’t exist apparently so you only have like an additional week to make some early offseason trades (I imagine rosters will stay open for add/drops year round but again WHO KNOWS). SO GET THE TRADIN’. I also will be attempting to add some bread to this equation, then and only then will I make a complete effort to win a championship. Once I could win like $180 for it. Mostly we just have another successful fantasy season in the books and I want to thank all of the participants AND LOYAL BLOG READERS for making it a lovely time and special shout out to the two new owners who did damned fine work and TALK TO YOU ALL SOON. Blog will be updated randomly and without rhyme or reason, don’t think you can coax it back to life with shitty trades this week either TRADE REVIEW IS UNDER REVIEW.
THE FINISH LINE IS FINALLY NIGH FRIENDS. AFTER MONTHS AND MONTHS OF THIS SHIT WE HAVE OUR TWO POTENTIAL CHAMPEENS ALL LINED UP AND READY TO GO, AND IT TOOK A ROUND 2 FEATURING ONE SNOOZER AND ONE NAILBITER TO GET THERE. LET US REVIEW THOSE MATCHUPS FOR HOWEVER LONG I FEEL LIKE REVIEWING THEM, IN DESCENDING ORDER FROM SNOOZER TO NAILBITER…..
MVP: Rhys Fucking Hoskins Folks – RHYS FUCKING HOSKINS FOLKS. I don’t even know what to say really, other than that Rhys Hoskins has maybe already clinched the finest individual performance ever seen in a BackyardBracket and he’s done it all as a High Minors bat. WON’T SEE THIS AGAIN FOLKS. Folks counter: 3. 10/26, 7 Rs, 1 2B, 6 HRs, 15 RBIs, .448 OBP
LVP:Dominic Smith– Dominic Smith got a lot of ABs this round and maybe more than he deserved and he was not good in those ABs. 2/19, 1 RBI, .100 OBP **LVP OF ROUND TWO**
X-Rayz Hitter Of Note: CONTROVERSIALLY TRADED Trey Mancini just put together a helluva R2 performance so I bet a lot of you feel like jackasses over logging those complaints I know I would that was a picture perfect trade (11/23, 4 Rs, 1 2B, 1 3B, 1 HR, 8 RBIs, .519 OBP).
X-Rayz Pitcher Of Note: Anddd Chris Archer is definitely on top of his game at this point of the season, and that is something the X-Rayz should feel good about and they should also probably feel good about his chances in an upcoming matchup with the suckass White Sox (13 IP, 2 ER, 18 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 1.38 ERA).
Banana Slugs Hitter Of Note: CONTROVERSIALLY (I would imagine, because you people bitch about everything) we are going to continue to only highlight the losers of the losers so here take a look at this loser named Jose Bautista (2/18, 1 R, 1 RBI, .190 OBP).
Banana Slugs Pitcher Of Note: Also check out this loser Zack Britton who simply couldn’t stay healthy this season and decided to demonstrate that ON THE BIG STAGE OF THE BRACKET following a blown save (0.2 IP, 2 ER, 27.00 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: I will start by saying the Slugs clearly had a pretty poor week at a pretty poor time to do so, that much is clear. This was a poor time to throw up single digit HRs and a mere 33 Rs and an even mere-er 32 RBIs. And despite the loss they had a helluva season and they should be commended for their work in dealing with their team’s share of injuries and the StarMar suspension. HATS OFF TO EM. But also…… hats off to the X-Rayz for their Round 2 performance, as even a “good” week outta Barnegat would likely have been not good enough against these across the board numbers for Point Loma: 47 Rs, 19 2Bs, 3 3Bs, 13 HRs, 59 RBIs, 10 SBs, .3285 OBP, 101 Ks, 9 QS, 5 Ws, 7 Saves, 2 Holds, 1.958 ERA. EASILY the best and most complete performance the X-Rayz have put together PROBABLY EVER and about as well-rounded of a week as you will ever see out of any team in the playoffs. Which is the time of year you would want to have such a week. A sub-2 ERA this time of year is a huge accomplishment and it has a trickle-down effect, if your ERA is under 2 you’ve probably done a solid job in the rest of the pitching cats. So even though the Slugs pitched pretty well (88 Ks, 6 QS, 7 Ws, 7 Saves, 4 Holds, 3.075 ERA) they only ended up taking 2 cats on that side, and none on the other side, and that’s how you get your breakdown here. THE CURSE OF THE BYE CONTINUES and it is as sloppily researched as the Runner Up Curse, which is now officially dead thanks to these dickhead (Bad) Dudes. But we will talk about them in a sec; in this one, the Point Loma X-Rayz are victorious and they move onto the BACKYARD CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES presumably with confidence at an all-time high. The Barnegat Banana Slugs move on to the offseason, but at least school starts back up or something? Maybe play fantasy football? I don’t want to play fantasy sports for a while but I don’t fault anyone that does.
Next Week aka This Week: #3 X-Rayz vs. #4 Bad Dudes, #2 Banana Slugs vs. The Man In The Mirror (perhaps asking him to change his ways?)
MVP: Giancarlo Stanton – In a matchup as tight as this one Stanton’s performance was crucial, he kinda needed to do the work of a couple superstars at once to make up for a few injuries and he kinda did. And so I hate him and I am glad that baseball hit him in the face back when that baseball hit him in the face. 13/29, 8 Rs, 3 2Bs, 5 HRs, 11 RBIs, .500 OBP **MVP OF ROUND TWO**
LVP:Keon Broxton – Keon Broxton got a lot of ABs this round and maybe more than he deserved was not good in them and THIS WILL BE REMEMBERED come next year when a bunch of young OFs come to take his job on my team (and possibly on his actual team). 2/18, 1 RBI, .111 OBP
Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note:Xander Bogaertsdelivered the one fucking triple in this matchup and we spent the rest of the week trying to spot start triples outta Kevin Kiermaier so NOTABLE PERFORMANCE XANDER GOOD JOB YOU FUCK (7/24, 6 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 3B, 1 HR, 4 RBIs, .393 OBP).
Bad Dudes Pitcher Of Note:Dan Straily gave the Bad Dudes 10 Ks across 6 IP and then turned around and joined my team BECAUSE HE IS A WHORE and only delivered 5 against an equally shitty opponent, dick move Dan (6 IP, 3 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 4.50 ERA for RCBD ….. 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 Ks, 1 QS, 3.00 ERA for BPMZ).
MooniniteZ Hitter Of Note:Andrew McCutchen was no peach himself, no peach at all (3/23, 1 R, 1 RBI, .231 OBP).
MooniniteZ Pitcher Of Note: The MooniniteZ tried to draw a line in the sand about what type of player would be too Red Sawksy to get a roster spot and CLEARLY John Lackey was too Red Sawksy and so fuck him he will never be seen on a squad of mine again (5 IP, 6 ER, 3 Ks, 10.80 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: I don’t even know how to approach this one other than to say it was a fucking battle to the bitter end, as both teams put together shiite weekends (well at least Saturday and Sunday, the Bad Dudes Friday was the ultimate difference maker really) and as a result had to rely upon the machinations of a Mets-Nationals Sunday Night Baseball affair to sort this whole thing out. In the end this thing was razor thin and the Bad Dudes pulled it out.
First the weekend numbers: 10 Rs, 5 2Bs, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs for River City vs. 13 Rs, 6 2Bs, 3 HRs, 9 RBIs for the BPMZ. So hey SLIGHTLY BETTER FOR THE BPMZ RIGHT? But we had to recover from a fairly weak Friday (7 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs) against a very non-weak Friday for the RCBD (12 Rs, 2 2Bs, 5 HRs, 13 RBIs, superior OBP EVERY GODDAMNED DAY) and that put us in a wee bit of a hole.
Now a cherry-picked display of the razor-thin margins: Runs Bad Dudes +1, Triples Bad Dudes +1, HRs MooniniteZ +1, RBIs TIED, Strikeouts Bad Dudes +1, QS Bad Dudes +1, Wins Bad Dudes +1, Holds Bad Dudes +1.
Now a few words about the Sunday evening game: The MooniniteZ headed into the game needing 9 Ks or a Hold between Tanner Roark and Brandon Kintzler to advance via a Tie, presuming no Runs or RBIs for Wilmer Difo and no Holds for whichever clowns the Bad Dudes picked up for the double header (those clowns were Matt Albers and Josh Smoker). And through the first 2 innings was LOOKIN GOOD as Roark racked up 5 Ks through 2 and Difo had yet to Difuck me. But eventually Difo Difucked me (he would score twice) and eventually Roark ran outta gas one K short of the tie and then Hansel Robles Roblew it all cuz he sucks dick and then albers came in for a hold and got a k cuz he is fat and kintzler never sniffed the game not that it mattered and that was that. The Bad Dudes both SWEATIN BULLETS due to the Mets shittiness and then rescued from the jaws of defeat or defeat via tiebreaker by that same Mets shittiness. Years of fanhood validated in a strangely beautiful way. The MooniniteZ fall short after grabbing a First Round Bye for the second year runnin’
The River City Bad Dudes will advance to their third straight BCS, and fourth overall, to take on the Point Loma X-Rayz. The Bellcrest Park MooniniteZ will do none of these things.
Next Week aka This Week: #4Bad Dudes @. #3 X-Rayz, #1 MooniniteZ @ Retiring To A Quiet Cabin For Months To Ponder What Lies Next For The Franchise But Also Updating This Blog For A Bit Longer So Not Being All That Quiet And Also Not Going To Any Cabins
BACKYARD CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES PREVIEW
AND SO IT IS FINALLY UPON US, after months of annoying trade offers and transactions and complaining about trade offers and transactions and number of DL spots and whether or not people need to adhere to agreed upon start limits in the long weeks and so on and so forth man I am already burnt out on the fantasy front BUT FIRST…..we have a Backyard Championship Series to play out y’all. And it is a good one between two opponents each finding themselves in the BCS for the FOURTH time overall, the third in a row for Bad Dudes ownership and the first appearance for X-Rayz since they joined forces with yours truly to rattle off 3 straight championships in their first 3 years in this league (a league full of the still fantasy bitter and still fantasy jealous that will complain about me even citing those appearances but HEY THEY HAPPENED if “we couldn’t compete with a team with two owners in the playoffs because we aren’t fantasy good enough to do that” is the hill you all want to die on DIE LIKE A DOG ON THAT HILL)…where was I? Sometimes I use too many parentheses and they don’t necessarily function the way I think the inventor of the parentheses intended, WHOMever that person may be. Le’ts talk about this matchup a bit more below, yanno in the actual preview part.
#3 POINT LOMA X-RAYZ VS. #4 RIVER CITY BAD DUDES
We are gonna take this shit apart corner by corner, in honor of boxing being briefly relevant again for a hot moment there, and IN OUR FIRST CORNER we have the #3 Seed Point Loma X-Rayz. I dunno if you are supposed to put the lower seed in the first corner but who fucking cares, the X-Rayz are HERE ladies and gentlemen and they are here to take your beloved trophy and whisk it across the continent baggage fees be damned. And they got here with the same formula that’s gotten them into the playoffs every goddamned season since they took over their individual franchise, and that formula is speed + speed. They were 1st in Triples and Stolen Bases and 2nd in Runs on account of all those speedsters getting into scoring position, they were also last in RBIs BUT DON’T TELL THAT TO THE PLAYOFFS VERSION as they just got finished using Rhys Hoskins and co. to rack up 57 RBIs on a mere 13 HRs, six of which came from Rhys. The X-Rayz actually find themselves 9th in RBIs as a result of all this madness, surpassing those dumb OGTFC because they have everyone on their bench. “WAHHHHH BUT THINK OF THE SEASON LONG STATS.” The point is the X-Rayz can absolutely steal the RBIs category in this matchup (HRs I would likely be a bit less confident in but with Hoskins and an ailing Bad Dudes roster WHO KNOWS) while also maintaining their usual paces in the speed-centric cats and if all that comes together that could spell trouble for their opposition here. So let us meet said opposition.
In the other corner we have the #4 Seeded River City Bad Dudes, making an IMPRESSIVE third straight appearance in the BCS. Would be more impressive if they had one last year, and will end up feeling kinda sad if they lose two in a row, but FOR NOW IMPRESSIVE (take that takedown you fuckers). The Bad Dudes CONTINUE to press on despite mounting injuries to fantasy studs (Harper, Contreras, I guess Lester to an extent, Salazar and now Cespedes) and that is commendable but also fuck them is what I think. River City was the second most prolific HR and RBI team this season so you’ll get a bit of a power vs. speed matchup here, but when this lineup is on and at least relatively healthy they can put up some eye-popping numbers. Their Round 1 offense was so good that I intentionally talked up the X-Rayz Round 2 offense just as a way of ignoring it, but the numbers were the best of the playoffs in most cats and they were as such: 59 Rs, 20 2Bs, 3 3Bs, 21 HRs, 67 RBIs, 7 SBs, .4087 OBP. Just OBLITERATED the Isotopes down to their electrons. They are also as good as anyone at pushing the right buttons this time of year. HENCE the third straight BCS appearance and all. It should also be noted that with Giancarlo Stanton being on another planet the way he is right now (shades of what I presume Bryce Harper was like back in 2015?) you have more wiggle room to push the wrong buttons or push no buttons at all or what have you.
These two teams battled twice in the regular season, I suppose at some point I can stop saying that as it can just be assumed going forward, but yea they did and just as in the first two rounds the Bad Dudes will be taking on an opponent that SWEPT em. Maybe law of averages is on their side or something. In Week 8 it was the X-Rayz defeating the Bad Dudes 7-6-1, and in Week 17 SAME but with a much healthier margin of 10-4-0. Surely the X-Rayz are hoping the Week 17 matchup bodes well given its proximity to this current week (which would technically be Week 21), surely the Bad Dudes are hoping I dunno that it is really hard to beat a team three times in a row or something. And in true baseball playoffs type fashion we have the River City Bad Dudes representing our National Division or League or whatfuckingever and the Point Loma X-Rayz representing our American Division or League or whatfuckingever. So that is cute.
WHAT TO WATCH FOR: JUST WATCH. These two teams are as adept as anyone at playoff maneuvering so there could be plenty of fantasy tradecraft along the way but really this is just going to be a real good championship battle, as both teams want this one badly and won’t feel badly about taking it from the other guy. PLENTY OF NARRATIVE here: the Bad Dudes attempting to beat 3 teams they went a combined 0-6 against in the regular season, the X-Rayz attempting to win their first title as a standalone franchise, uhhh they are both named “Mike” or whatever if you’re into that one. I think the Bad Dudes knocked out the X-Rayz last year so there is that. JUST GONNA BE A BATTLE and I expect it to be every bit as tense and down to the wire as the battle the Bad Dudes just endured. You know just to insert myself into the narrative. And WHILE I AM HERE the Bad Dudes would also be reaching 3 titles by going through the other two owners with 3 titles so that’s a narrative thing. LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME. No I am kidding don’t look at me but pay attention to this BCS, because this was a helluva competitive season and as such I expect a competitive finale.
AND SO IT HAS BEEN DECIDED, ONE OF THESE TWO TEAMS SHALL BE OUR 2017 CHAMPION COME THIS TIME NEXT WEEK. I EXPECT THIS ONE TO BE A BATTLE START TO FINISH SO EXPECT SOME LATE-BBQ DRAMA NEXT WEEKEND AND A BUNCH OF BUDDY BUDDY “COMPLIMENTING EACH OTHER’S TEAMS AT 11 PM EST WHEN EVERYONE ELSE IS NOT IN THE CHAT” TYPE STUFF EVERY NIGHT BEFORE THEN. MAYBE NOT SATURDAY. BY SATURDAY SHIT WILL GET REAL. I HOPE.