2019 Week 16 Review: “Return of Rollins, Return of Key Cat, Exposing of Doch As Fraud” Edition

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Amazing that he was able to celebrate like this and still had the time to leg out a decisive double…

 

 

 

OUR LONG BACKYARDONAL NIGHTMARE IS OVER. A few weeks ago the Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz were some sort of undefeated unstoppable juggernaut (likely influenced by some wholly unsustainable BABIPs but I digress), their heel of an asshole of an owner had taken over the blog with promises of timely content and copious wrestling references, and things looked bleaked folks. Fast forward a few weeks and there has been very little content (FRAUD), and the BackdoorSliderz have finally tasted defeat in the 2019 Backyard season (FRAUD), and now I have returned to write about it in longform while also restoring Jimmy Rollins to his rightful JROLL throne. If you’re threatening an undefeated season culminating in a second straight championship we are forced to take you seriously because that THREATENS the 3PO greatest team of all time narrative. And that allows you a little leeway within the blogosphere. But now you’re just some fraud that’s got a first round bye that’s got to HOPE AND PRAY their team’s insanely good fortunes aren’t running out all at once at the worst possible time. Better to be .450 BABIPing in August and not April, folks. To be fair they also have insanely good players BUT you also have to yanno, HOPE AND PRAY those guys don’t slump or get injured. I see vulnerability in the Lacey’s beady little eyes…..

Oh yea there’s also some other matchups that happened, the X-Rayz finally bulk reliever’d their way to the Ks record, etc. etc. etc. all will be covered BUT FIRST…..

 

 

 

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For you, His Dochness…..

 

 

 

 

 

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East Coast Kings Perhaps Permanently Pummel Playoff Plans Pertaining Towards The Barnegat Banana Slugs (Probably?)  –  12-2-0

 

MVP:  Nelson Cruz  –  Honestly I forgot the Kings even HAD Nelson Cruz (been kinda outta the review game for a minute) but LOVE IT LOVE HIM love the energy, he’s my second favorite Old Man Masher in baseball (see opening GIF for #1).  12/29, 10 Rs, 1 2B, 7 HRs, 13 RBIs, .485 OBP     

 

LVP:  Yasiel Puig    Yasiel just didn’t contribute much stuff this week, and that’s about as much analysis as I intend to give here. On the Yasiel front.  4/21, 4 Rs, 2 2Bs, .292 OBP        

 

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JROLLs:  Francisco Lindor (2, ECK)

 

 

 

 

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HRs. The poor Banana Slugs likely mashed as hard as they’ve mashed all season (7th in HRs) but it still wasn’t enough against a locked in Kings squad, and they lost the HRs cat 25-17. That means 8 more runs for the Kings (the won Rs 60-48), at least 8 more and obviously more than 8 more RBIs for the Kings (they won RBIs 70-57), perhaps a slight OBP bump (the won OBP .363 to .357). Put it all together and you have two teams that had impressive offenses in Week 16 but yanno, one was more impressive. And so that one….won.

 

 

Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’:  Haven’t talked pitching in a Kings matchup so let’s do that, shout out to a weirdly dominant streamed Steven Matz CG shutout for the Kings. Also shout out to the fact that mayyybe just maybe Trevor Bauer isn’t the super-established ace Trevor Bauer likely thinks he is. I consider him a super-established whiny little bitch, however…

 

What’s Next (Week 17):  ECF v. LL (9-7 v. 6-10)

                   
   RRF @ AI (7-8-1 @ 7-9)

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Pacific Beach X-Rayz Rack Up A Shit Ton Of Strikeouts, Also Do Other Things Well In Big Beatdown of Astoria Isotopes  –  10-1-3

 

MVP:  Jose Ramirez  –  JOSE RAMIREZ SIGHTING. The X-Rayz have turned around an ugly start to the season but Jose has mostly been an afterthought even during said turnaround. That is up until July; 9 HRs in a month that has seen the X-Rayz go 3-0. If J-Ram keeps it going into the #BackyardBracket this team can make noise folks.  12/30, 7 Rs, 3 2Bs, 4 HRs, 9 RBIs, 2 SBs, .441 OBP     

 

LVP:  Mike Moustakas    More like Mike MOSTSUCKASS, AMIRITE? I hate that I’m dignifying that bad name joke, and also this was a real toss up between Mike and Khris (2/22, 2 RBIs), but ultimately we are going with Moustakas and with that shitty name joke and that is just how things are.  1/15, 1 R, .182 OBP    

 

 

 

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Strikeouts. In a week where the X-Rayz set a new and rather tough to top record in the Ks department, I guess I have to go with Ks here. Ever the Innovator Odom has really taken a shine to this whole “bulk reliever” craze because of course he has, but it’s worth noting the EFFECTS here. The ‘Topes rocked a 9.513 K per 9 in Week 16, better than the X-Rayz 9.217, but WHAT’S THAT MATTER when the latter team tosses 116.2 innings to your 84.2, THIRTY TWO MORE INNINGS THROWN on the Pacific Beach side. And that’s how you set a Ks record and win the cat 119-89, and that’s how you grab 11 wins, and usually there’s a risk of ERA ruin but the ‘Topes managed to suck more (X-Rayz won ERA 4.71 to 5.53), and that’s how you get your doors relatively blown off (also only hitting like 6 HRs doesn’t help) and get leapfrogged in the Backyard Bracket Standings.

 

 

Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’:  Eight bulk relievers used by the X-Rayz in Week 16, not sure what his usual is but SEEMS LIKE A LOT… ‘Topes were league-worst in Wk 16 in Runs, HRs, RBIs and I guess that’s just what happens when Khris Davis is slumping HARD… Also a real rollercoaster of a season for Astoria, whom started out 0-5 then won 7 in a row and have now lost 4 in a row…

 

What’s Next (Week 17):  PBX v. BBS (6-7-3 v. 5-10-1)

                   
   AI v. RRF (7-9 v. 7-8-1)

 

 

 

 

 

 

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River City Bad Dudes Best A Super Invested Definitely Started Twelve Pitchers* Rojo’s Renegade Force Squad  –  9-4-1

*one was an opener but beggars can’t be choosers

 

MVP:  Miguel Sano  –  Miguel Sano is a fat turd (whoever had “turd” twice in Blog Bingo gets a prize) who strikes out too much and is probably a piece of shit, BUT he’s mashing taters this season and mashed some taters in Week 16 and I guess that’sa ll the MVP of the week part cares about. Nice tie-in to the River City Mashers hidden in this paragraph, FAN SERVICE for longtime Backyard fans. The Doch Blog never delivered this sort of stuff, or any sort of stuff really. A totally Weak and Low Energy blogger. ANYWHO YEA MIGUEL SANO.   9/27, 6 Rs, 4 HRs, 11 RBIs, .379 OBP     

 

LVP:  Masahiro Tanaka    I mean, FOR FUCKS SAKE Masahiro. You get LVP of the Week cuz I’m not sure I’ve seen that many runs given up in quite some time. And it was against the Red Sawks so SHAME ON HIM.  3.1 IP, 12 ER, 4 Ks, 32.40 ERA    ***LVP OF THE WEEK***     

 

 

 

 

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Holds. You lost AT YOUR OWN GAME ROJO. The Bad Dudes won Holds 4-1 and that isn’t necessarily why they won the MATCHUP (the .342 to .311 OBP disparity probably more damning) but it IS necessarily all I want to talk about here cuz this matchup bores me.

 

 

Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’:  Renegade Force perhaps making league history as the first team to knowingly (I think) start an “opener,” THIS LEAGUE JUST GETS WACKIER AND WACKIER…

 

What’s Next (Week 17):  RCBD @ LTBS (6-7-3 @ 15-1) *BBOTW*

                   
   RRF @ AI (7-8-1 @ 7-9)

 

 

 

 

 

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Lakehurst Leviations Continue DREAM SEASON, Notch Sixth Win At Ocean Gate Fishing Club’s Expense  –  9-5-0

 

MVP:  Didi Gregorius  –  Both Didi and JD Martinez did real work in Week 16 (pretend Judge is JD in the GIF above) but Didi did slightly better work and fuck the sawks and so on and so forth.  11/26, 5 Rs, 4 2Bs, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 13 RBIs, .448 OBP     

 

LVP:  Francisco Mejia    On the opposite end of the spectrum, Mejia did the very opposite of work and contributed nothing but a few base hits and no wonder this goddamned owner always harrasses me about Gary Sanchez.  4/16, .294 OBP    

 

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JROLLs:  Trea Turner (2, OGFC) ; Adam Eaton (1, LL)

 

 

 

 

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Triples. This matchup was tiiiiiiiight all over the place man, but it’s always an unfortunate circumstance when your team musters more than one three-bagger and still loses the cat. And that was the case here so lets highlight Heroy sadness, two triples (AND ONE JROLL) out of the OGFC and they get bested by a Leviathans team that put up four despite the absence of Adalberto. Tough break kiddo. Other tough breaks include 1 “point” losses in SBs, QS, and Holds but this paragraph was about the triples so we are gonna STICK TO THE TRIPLES.

 

 

Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’:  The Leviathans had 69 RBIs (nice.)… ALSO, with this victory the Leviathans have more wins in Year 3 than they had in Years 1 and 2 COMBINED (double nice.)(#TrustTheProcess)…

 

What’s Next (Week 17):  LL @ ECK (6-10 @ 9-7)

                   
   OGFC v. IBB (8-7-1 v. 6-9-1)

 

 

 

 

 

2019 WEEK 16 BACKYARD BATTLE OF THE WEEK, SPONSORED BY THE 1985 CHICAGO BEARS’ WEEK 13 DEFEAT

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https://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/bears/ct-85-bears-dolphins-oral-history-spt-1129-20151128-story.html

 

 

 

 

 

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Island Beach Bears Accomplish Everything They Needed To In 2019 Season, Slay The Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz Beast Fucking Finally (they are now allowed to go win the championship or whatever I guess*)  –  7-6-1

*jkjk we root against any and all back-to-back chamPEEN challengers ’round here, fuck them I want ’em bounced in Round 2..

 

 

MVP:  Edwin Encarnacion  –  Were there better performers in Week 16 both on the Bears and on other teams? I mean yea PROBABLY (definitely). But this was another performance in a long line of CLUTCH PLAYOFF PERFORMANCES (as far as I’m concerned I just won the playoffs) wherein Encarnacion, win or loss, gave us a heroic effort. In this case we needed doubles and he HEROICALLY contributed FIVE, 45% of his total heading into Week 16. Good. Man.  11/32, 6 Rs, 5 2Bs, 1 HR, 3 RBIs, .400 OBP     ***MVP OF THE WEEK/PROBABLY YEAR***    

 

LVP:  Alex Bregman    Bad week outta Breggy and a quiet week outta a few other ButtSliderz Starz in Week 16, it’s almost like that’s how baseball is supposed to work as opposed to having EVERYTHING GO YOUR WAY ALL YEAR LONG. Suck it, turds.  1/17, 3 Rs, 1 2B, 1 RBI, .238 OBP          

 

 

 

Bears Hitter Of Note:  Jonathan Villar heard rumors of other owners BALKING at requested returns (probably justifiably so) when those owners came asking about himand so he went out and had himself a week on them basepaths (10/33, 9 Rs, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 5 RBIs, 5 SBs, .361 OBP).

Bears Pitcher Of Note:  When you trade away all of your other good pitchers you’re left with one good pitcher and then that good pitcher likely ends up your pitcher “of note” in these winning situations, and his name is Mike Clevinger (14 IP, 4 ER, 14 Ks, 2 QS, 2 Ws, 2.57 ERA).

 

BackdoorSliderz Hitter Of Note:  Lets all point at Cody Bellinger and laugh because he DIDN’T absolutely bludgeon me in Week 16 and perhaps he isn’t Barry Bonds, which would be nice for me and my trade psyche (he’s still really good and young and I regret that trade and that trade only)(I’ll still trade any mothafucka)(4/18, 4 Rs, 1 2B, 2 RBIs, .333 OBP).

BackdoorSliderz Pitcher Of Note:  And just for FAIR and BALANCED reporting of the FACTS I’ll not do the thing where I try and single out a bad performance here… Robbie Ray had double digit Ks in back-to-back starts so good for him, STILL LOST LOSER (12 IP, 5 ER, 21 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 3.75 ERA).

 

BBOTW BREAKDOWN

 

How many words does one owe history? When will enough be written about our triumphs in WWII, about the moon landing, about the moments that DEFINED civilization? Can enough words ever be written? I posit that they cannot, which is why this blog will fail regardless of how long I write about one of the greatest regular season victories (if not THE greatest) in Backyard history (and I intend to write a buncha words and they won’t even be particularly interesting but THE WORD COUNT, oh the word count). Sure teams have gone on some runs, won some games in a row, even won some championships in a row 😉 . But has there ever been a team that remained undefeated this late into one of our regular seasons? No seriously I am asking. And IF SO, could that team have possibly been helmed by a more despicable owner than the one that currently presides over the Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz? This one I can answer myself:  no, for that would be impossible.

Comeuppance has been a long time coming for this team, a talented unit to be fair but one that also has been hashtag BLESSED with some lucky bounces in its day. I think they beat the Banana Slugs in a week when they had like a .270-something OBP, I think Fernando Tatis Jr. and Keston Hiura have had UNSUSTAINABLE BABIPs to begin their respective careers, I think this had to happen the way it happened. At the hands of your fearless, really at this point less-than-part-time, blogger (and perhaps part-time lover) because only HE would then chronicle the great moment in glorious detail. And only HE, thanks to his own human failings, would be able to perfectly set up a Sunday Night Scenario that quite frankly I didn’t see enough applause for the in chat. Edwin Encarnacion is a BACKYARD TREASURE and he deserves your respect. Perhaps no player is more synonymous with their respective franchise, and obviously no player more perfectly epitomizes the GLORY DAYZ of back-to-back-to-back championships for this (once proud, now multiple times renamed) franchise, and now he has basically delivered a fourth championship. Feels like I’ve won the championship this season. You’re all free to keep playing and do the whole “Backyard Bracket” thing but yanno…..whatever.

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There was a time when I planned to break down each day of this HISTORIC VICTORY FOR THE ISLAND BEACH BEARS, but holy shit that sounds exhausting and its difficult enough to piece together the play-by-play just from Sunday. So yea with that caveat in place lets now get fucking pumped up and lets fucking LETS BREAK DOWN THIS HISTORIC MATCHUP’S HISTORIC SUNDAY, SHALL WE?! FUCK YEA LETS:

DAY 7 (Sunday, 7.28.19 Anno Domini)

The Island Beach Bears enter day 7 of their battle WEARY and sensing defeat. Things were lookin’ kinda solid with the BackdoorSliderz offense scuffling, and then Saturday they uhh unscuffled. Categories as of Sunday AM were as follows (not because I think anyone wants to read this shit, but because I want to pump up this word count to up the obnoxious):

Runs – Bears lead 53 to 38

Doubles – Sliderz lead 14 to 12

Triples – Bears lead 2 to 0

HRs – Bears lead 11 to 9

RBIs – Sliderz lead 44 to 37

OBP – Sliderz comfortably ahead just take my word for it

SBs – Bears lead 7 to 4

 

Ks – Bears lead 80 to 69 (nice.)

QS – Bears lead 9 to 5

CGs – Bears haven’t had one all goddamned year, surprised the ButtSliderz didn’t grab one but yea this ended up 0-0

Ws – Tied 6 to 6

Saves – Sliderz lead 4 to 1

Holds – Bears lead 5 to 1

ERA – Sliderz lead like 2 something to 3 something

 

BEARS LEADING 7-5-2

This lead, this lead is a mirage and the Bears know it. For what you DON’T see up there, though certainly I had the room to note it, is the Bears have maxed out their starts by Sunday AM (and amassed a measly 80 Ks doing so) while the BackdoorSliderz would be trotting out four arms for the final day:  Kyle Gibson, Robbie Ray, Walker Buehler, and AARON NOLA. The last arm is of obvious added significance, it’s an arm that already logged a start for the Bears earlier in the week and an arm they then traded away because dynasty is boring make some trades you pussies. It is also an arm that what was SUPPOSED TO BE starting only once in Week 16, was sort of important to me to avoid facing my sweet sweet Aaron in 2019. Alas he ended up getting bumped up to Sunday, and Lacey ownership did what Lacey ownership does best:  paid lip service to sitting him as some sort of courtesy or signaling of their high moral fiber but MERELY A SIGNAL, they were never gonna sit him WERE THEY (Bears ownership wouldn’t have wanted that, but also was drinking at the time of the initial message so didn’t really offer that opinion clearly one way or the other, so could Doch have even KNOWN what I wanted? Has he ever known what anyone else ever wanted? Has he failed to please everyone in his life?)?! ANYWHOM, ultimately Nola got the nod and that was the right move I wouldn’t have wanted a bullet left in the chamber.

SO, and stay with me now, what we have at this point is the Bears BASICALLY expecting Ks and Ws to go to Lacey, with a possibility of them going 4-4 in QS and tying that up as well….. things seemed bleak to say the least. As I alluded, the BackdoorSliderz had already used a 16 run/4 double/5 HR/15 RBI/.460 OBP Saturday to overtake OBP and generally signal the end times for the Bears upset chances. Or so we thought :))))))))))))))) It would require a good amount of good Lacey pitchers pitching poorly for the Bears to retake the ERA lead, and we had already done everything in our power to try and grab more Ks or more Ws or whatever by signing a buncha shitty SP-eligible relievers and treating it like BCS Sunday. And so at this point Bears ownership was on the beach not paying much mind to these sorts of longshot hypotheticals, is what I’m saying.

FAST FORWARD to late afternoon and suddenly the BackdoorSliderz pitching staff has managed to blow the ERA lead by pitching jusssttttt poorly enough, suddenly the Bears are told they’re clinging to a 7-6-1 advantage, and even more suddenly they must reckon with all of those fucking random SP relievers they brought in to try and grab additional pitching stats. Pretty quickly it was assumed by Bears ownership, QUITE CORRECTLY (because they’re actually super smart and stuff), that those shitty relievers were shitty for a reason and so they would fuck said Bears and return said ERA lead and the overall lead with it probably upon their first opportunity…. almost instantaneously Colin McHugh did just that. Around the same time just GENERAL LIFE LIVING, the sort of thing Rojo has tried to tell us all about from high atop the mountains, prevents Bears ownership (me) from subbing out a resting Nicholas Castellanos for a not-resting Hunter Renfroe. By the time of this realization the DEFINITELY EXPECTED Luis Perdomo earned runs have also crossed the plate and we’ve officially written off ERA (evidently we shouldn’t have we only lost 3.90 to 3.86, I would have been haunted by Josh Tomlin if things broke poorly), now turning the attention to catching the evil LTBS RBIs and/or 2Bs while also defending a slim lead in HRs.

This is gripping stuff, one would imagine, if both owners were both scowling MLBTV and furiously refreshing computer screens to follow along. And in fact for the sake of this blog post we are going to say that Doch definitely was doing precisely that, in some sad little Lacey cave like the ones people used to pretend Bin Laden was hiding in. There’s some parallels there. At some point we know the LTBS closed the HR gap to one (thanks to Soto or Conforto or Santana or one of those fucks, but this isn’t their story) and at some other point we now know Marcus Semien and Danny Santana have homered to give the #DongsCat it’s final margin of victory for the Bears. Small margin, small total overall but it’s not the size that counts. So ALL GOOD ON THE HRs, hooray for the good guys. RBIs inched close (another size pun in here somewhere), some thanks due to Travis D’Arnaud for contributing 7 RBIs for the IBB while only bequeathing 2 RBIs for the LTBS (he’s filled in admirably for Gary Sanchez), but ultimately despite our best efforts bad things sometimes happen to good people and good things sometimes happen to bad people (see Doch’s 2018 season) and so we couldn’t close the gap there. And by “best efforts” I mean we couldn’t close the gap because Hunter Renfroe hit a grand slam on the fucking bench, with plenty of space for him in our not-being-used RF slot.

SO RBIs weren’t working out and its down to doubles to slay the beast. Ozzie Albies knocked the lone Sunday double for Lacey, the very excellent Danny Santana and Jonathan Villar and Travis D’Arnaud chipped in their own two-baggers for Island Beach (left out a “two-bagger” joke about Dorothy here), and by the time the dust had settled we arrived at a very unsatisfying 6-6-2 tie heading into Sunday Night Sawks-Yanks. This could not stand, however….

SUNDAY NIGHT SAWKS-YANKS (7.28.19 Anno Domini)

The Yankee-loathing Lacey outfit has no participants in the Sunday night game, the Bears have ❤ Edwin Encarnacion ❤ and Aaron Hicks. The Bears need one double or 4 RBIs to finally hand the BackdoorSliderz a much-needed loss in 2019, and the presence of Edwin in this equation has them quietly CONFIDENT….. so confident they are not watching the game one bit, and are going to Mellow Mushroom. I think I’m back from Mellow by the time Edwin evidently smokes a single in the top of the 5th…..

….that moves Hicks to 3rd and no farther, so yea running out of innings but WE ARE FINE EVERYTHING IS FINE. STILL. I think at this point I’m “watching a documentary” on PFAS, Edwin would not betray this organization.

In the 7th inning, we get what we need and by “we” I mean THE LEAGUE AS A WHOLE needed:

 

Encarnación doubled to left center, Hicks to third.
PITCH TYPE MPH
Double Slider 82

 

Print that out and smoke it folks, I’m giving you PITCH TYPE and everything here. I will also note the double was hit off of Bad Dudes RELIEVER PHENOM EXTRAORDINAIRE Darwinzon Hernandez.

 

Bears win 7-6-1

Bears win self-proclaimed “last week they give a shit about winning”

Undefeated season for the ButtSliderz is off the table, which is a bit of a relief I think we can all agree

Bears now have to keep giving a shit until formally eliminated from playoffs (TAKE NOTE ROJO), which isn’t a relief per se but is still FINE ITS FINE we can pay attention to a fantasy baseball league while still existing in the world (TAKE NOTE LOBMAN, OR MAYBE ROJO, I am forgetting the gripes at this point)….

The league is saved and you’re all fucking welcome

Look I know this one was a bit of a coin flip in several spots and we just have easily could have allowed the LTBS to escape with yet another win and they’re still the current favorites (though clearly I think we’ve exposed some kinks in the armor, not gonna tell anyone what they are it’s a big secret) for that OTHER champeenship still to be awarded. I know all these things. But I also know that this shit needed to end and so Edwin ended it, and so nobody ever ask me if he was available to trade for ever again. Notta one of youz. ANYWAYZ Week 17 has the Bears still in the bracket hunt weirdly enough, so they’re gonna head to Ocean Gate and try and beat those jackasses. And if they don’t at least they beat this jackass. This jackass and his ButtSliderz take on the River City Bad Dudes in our Backyard Battle Of The Week.

 

What’s Next (Week 17):  IBB @ OGFC (6-9-1 @ 8-7-1)

                   
LTBS v. RCBD (16-1 v. 6-7-3) *BBOTW*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Had to get one more in ^ 

 

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2019 Week 16 Review: “Return of Rollins, Return of Key Cat, Exposing of Doch As Fraud” Edition

Trade Review: Holiday Edition

(Note: This isn’t holiday related in any way, shape, or form. I just wanted to continue to wage war on Christmas by saying Holiday. Carry on)

From the desk of Sean “Hannity” Dochney: 

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Trade Reviews from October to December

By Sean Dochney

 

Sean #2 is back again to give his opinion on the trades that went down from October until now.  I know this is what everyone has been eagerly waiting for since the last time I dabbled in the blog, so without further ado…..

Barnegat Banana Slugs receive AJ Minter and Mike Soroka

Bellcrest Park Mooninites receive Marwin Gonzalez and Mitch Garver

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AJ Minter – P ATL

24 years old

2017 Stats – MLB 15 IP, 3.00 ERA, 26 Ks, 15.6 SO/9, 1.2 BB/9

Minors (A-, A+, AA, AAA) 24.1 IP, 3.33 ERA, 11.1 SO/9, 4.4 BB/9

Possibly a nice little high minor holds guy for the beginning of next season.  Had a nice debut in a small sample size.  His K rates and Walk rates from his first cup of coffee may not be sustainable as evidenced by his minor league numbers, although he still had very good K rate in the minors.

Mike Soroka – P ATL

20 years old

2017 Stats – (AA) 11-8, 153.2 IP, 2.75 ERA, 125 Ks, 7.3 SO/9, 2.0 BB/9

This is a young arm that I personally like.  Soroka is a former first round pick who was one of the younger players in the Southern League last season, and pitched very effectively.  His K rates lead a lot to be desired, but he is still young and learning how to pitch.  Seems to have a ceiling of a solid mid rotation starter.  Will he be a fantasy stud?  Probably not, unless he increases his K rates, but he will be a solid option to have.  You all love your comparisons, so let’s say Kyle Hendricks potential, and if you don’t like that comp, then don’t ask next time (Looking at you other Sean).

Marwin Gonzalez – LF, SS, 1B, 2B, 3B HOU

29 Years Old Opening Day

2017 Stats – .303/.377/.530, .907 OPS, 67 Runs, 34 2Bs, 23 HRs, 90 RBIs, 8 SB

What a breakout performance by this guy.  Set career highs in just about every offensive category, and will carry position eligibility for 5 different positions heading into next season.  I get the feeling last season will be the best of his career, but there is still plenty of value in this guy if he can replicate those power numbers with all that position eligibility he possesses.

 

Mitch Garver – C MIN

27 Years Old Opening Day

2017 Stats – 46 Abs .196/.288/.348, 3 3Bs

Minors – (AAA) 88 Games, .291/.387/.541, .928 OPS, 29 2Bs, 17 HRs, 45 RBIs

Not so young catching prospect that still has 84 at bats of high minor eligibility.  Had some real good numbers in his 88 games in the minors last season, especially the power numbers.  We will see if that translates over to the Bigs.  Not a bad flier to take here if he is getting early season at bats for the Twins.  To be honest, I don’t know what the Twins depth chart at catcher looks like today, and it is also not worth my time to look up, but we will say maybe this guy can provide a little bit of value in the Backyard.

 

DOCnalysis (It’s almost like an analysis but better because it’s my opinion)

Marwin Gonzalez is the best player right now and Soroka is no slam dunk to be a fantasy stud, so we will say Sean wins this trade.  But who knows, if Marwin goes back to his 2015 or 2016 self, then he gets dropped and is nothing more then a streaming option.  If that’s the case, then Soroka will end up being the best player in this deal.  Either way, not a deal anyone was wowed by.  Could be a good case of Salty Smitty selling Marwin Gonzalez at his peak though, so I like it enough for both sides.  Salty Smitty is a nickname that might stick after the latest controversy after the referendum, I hope he doesn’t take me to seriously when I say this.  I encourage him to change his name to this on GroupMe, at least for times he is frustrated with the league or me.  Bitter Brian would also work.

 

Lacey Township Backdoor Sliderz receive Robbie Ray and Royce Lewis (Rights)

Point Loma X-Rays Receive Marcel Ozuna

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Robbie Ray – SP ARI

26 Years Old

2017 Stats – 15-5, 162.0 IP, 2.89 ERA, 1.15 WHIP, 3.72 FIP, 218 Ks, 12.1 SO/9, 3.9 BB/9

News flash, Robbie Ray is a stud for fantasy.  Man, I love those Ks.  Two straight seasons at 218 Ks is nice to think about moving forward for the young starter.  I am a little concerned about the innings and if he will ever push 200 innings.  I am also not in love with his walk rate, but hey no one is perfect, not even me.  He averages under 6 innings per start, so that is not great, but he will still get his QS.   There are some red flags associated with Ray, especially in an age where pitchers make their living on the DL.  But whatever, fuck it, my pitching sucked at times last year and I really like those K rates.

 

Royce Lewis – SS MIN

18 Years Old

2017 Stats – (Rk and A) 54 games, .279/.381/.407, 54 Runs, 8 2Bs, 3 3Bs, 4 HRs, 27 RBI, 18 SB, 3 CS

First overall selection in the MLB Amateur Draft, but 10th overall selection in the draft that really matters (All Star Break Draft).  Way to small sample size to really care about his numbers, but I would say it was successful.  Seems like a prototype “Rays Ways” guys with his speed, and hopefully there is some power there as well.  He was taken first overall in the draft for a reason by people who know a lot more about baseball then us.  There is good value in this guy, even if it takes years for him to make it to the Show.  We all know how much Dochney likes his teenagers (Prospects! Get your heads out the gutter!), so he doesn’t mind being patient with this guy, and conveniently the minors slots just expanded.

 

Marcel Ozuna – LF STL

27 Years Old

2017 Stats- .312/.376/.548, .924 OPS, 93 Runs, 30 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 37 HRs, 124 RBI

Marcel Ozuna had a great season last year and is one of the better young sluggers in the game.  Ozuna made his second all star team last year but boy this felt like his true breakout campaign that included a lot of career highs.  He is not hitting in that Miami lineup anymore, but he will still have plenty of RBI opportunities in St. Louis.  His OBP kind of came out of nowhere and I think it will drop a little bit.  He did have a career high BABIP at .355, which ranked 9th in the league.  This is awesome, but will he keep this up after a .296 BABIP in 2016? I don’t have the answer, probably why I traded him.  I do think he is capable of duplicating 60 XBH and 100 RBI, and I would guess Odom would be very ok with that.

 

DOCnalysis

Well I always want to side with myself when writing about my trades, but having a little trouble on this one.  I think Odom and I both sold high on young guys who had stellar seasons.  Will Ray keep up his sub-3 era? I am going to say very unlikely.  Will Ozuna have a .370 OBP with 120 RBI?  I am guessing he won’t do that either.  Royce Lewis was the kicker for me to accept this deal, but that doesn’t mean I won this deal.  I will say Odom won this because I find hitters more valuable and the injury risks associated with pitchers scare the shit out of me.  Good job Odom.

 

Bellcrest Mooninites Receive Aroldis Chapman

Point Loma X-Rays Receive Justin Smoak and MacKenzie Gore

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Aroldis Chapman – CP NYY

30 Years Old

2017 Stats – 22 saves, 3.22 ERA, 2.56 FIP, 50.1 IP, 69 SO, 12.3 SO/9, 3.6 BB/9

Chapman is an elite reliever (and elite wife beater), we know he has been for quite a while.  Last season was somewhat of a disappointment to his own standards last year, but he is still very good, and will be closing for a very good team that just injected more power into their lineup.

 

Justin Smoak – 1B TOR

31 Years Old

2017 Stats – .270/.355/.529, .883 OPS, 85 Runs, 29 2Bs, 1 3B, 38 HRs, 90 RBI

Breakout performers on the move have been the theme of offseason trades, and the theme continues with Smoak.  The most impressive thing to me about his 2017 is the drop in K %, which sat at 20.1%.  In 2016 that K % was 32.8%.  I have no idea how this would explain his increase in isolated power, or the 24 more bombs he hit, but I was impressed anyway when I came across this stat.  Will Smoak keep up his breakout?  I am skeptical, but I get the feeling Odom cares a lot more about MacKenzie Gore in this trade anyway.

 

MacKenzie Gore – SP SDP

19 Years Old

2017 Stats – Rookie Ball 0-1, 21.1 IP, 1.27 ERA, 34 Ks, 14.3 SO/9, 3.0 BB/9

Why would Odom want a guy that doesn’t have a single win in his entire professional career, fucking terrible!  Obviously just kidding, talent is oozing out of the number 4 overall draft pick in the most recent MLB Amateur Draft.  Looks like he was only allowed to go 3 innings in each start of the extremely small sample size of his professional career.  The youngster will get a larger body of work next year, and the hope is the high Ks will follow him as he goes up the chain.  This guy has an extremely high ceiling for Odom’s now home town San Diego.  I hate comps, but let’s compare him to – ehhh –  I don’t know Robbie Ray, who Odom just traded.
DOCnalysis

Chapman is such an elite reliever that it looks like he had a bad season last year.  Maybe Yankee fans are just spoiled and overreact about this guy, maybe he is starting to flame out a bit as he ages.  Either way I would love to have Chapman on my roster next year.  I don’t believe in Smoak, but I certainly believe in Gore, and I don’t care if that is an inconvenient truth for some of you (see what I did there?).  Smoak could easily hit waivers by midseason, and we will not see Gore for years, so I guess I will side with Sean receiving Chapman here as the winner, for now (see 2-year rule).

 

Point Loma X-Rays Receive Nicholas Castellanos and Jay Bruce

Q-Tip City Morning Wood Receive Evan Longoria, Adam Duvall and 4th pick ASB

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Nicholas Castellanos – 3B DET

26 Years Old

2017 Stats – .272/.320/.490, .811 OPS, 73 Runs, 36 2Bs, 10 3Bs, 26 HRs, 101 RBIs

Hey, solid year Castellanos, the 10 3Bs shocked me, but I guess it is spacious up there in Detroit.  He is still young and was a big prospect few years ago, and the hope is he can build off last season.  Castellanos is solid moving forward, and a good replacement for Longoria in Point Loma.

 

Jay Bruce – RF FA

31 Years Old

2017 Stats –  .256/.324/.508, .832 OPS, 82 Runs, 29 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 36 HRs, 101 RBI

The one-dimensional free agent did what he does year in and year out, which is provide power.  Odom will gladly take that power on his roster, and we know exactly what the consistent Bruce provides.

 

Evan Longoria – 3B SFG

32 Years Old

2017 Stats –  .261/.313/.424, .737 OPS, 71 Runs, 36 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 20 HRs, 86 RBIs

Little shocked Odom traded his boy here, but boy was it time to trade him after a down year.  Odom will hold his head high that Longoria was on his championship roster, but it was time to move on.  2016 was a great season for Longoria, so it is not out of the question he bounces back in 2018, but I do believe his best days are behind him, especially now that he is playing his home games in San Francisco.

 

Adam Duvall – LF CIN

29 Years Old

2017 Stats – .249/.301/.480, .781 OPS, 78 Runs, 37 2Bs, 3 3Bs, 31 HRs, 99 RBIs

I like Adam Duvall, even reminds me a lot of Jay Bruce.  The power numbers are there to make a difference, but the OBP numbers suck and will probably stay that way.  Let’s see what I wrote about Duvall last time I contributed to the blog, which may have been in like I don’t know September.

Duvall is underrated in this league because his OBP sucks.  But OBP is just 1 category, and Duvall helps a lot in the counting stat categories.  He may not be sexy, but he instantly becomes the X*Rays top slugger on his roster.  And Odom won the league (albeit controversially) while having the 9th ranked OBP in the league.  Adam Duvall is no fluke either, this is the 2nd year in a row he is a full-time starter, and the 2nd year in a row that he will have over 30 2Bs, 30 HRs, and 100 RBIs.  Duvall is good, and plays in the hitter friendly confines of Great American Ballpark.  He will be 29 for most of next season as well.  Contrary to popular belief, he is not the same player as teammate Scott Schebler.  Duvall is a good power bat who will keep benefitting from hitting behind the Walking Red, which guarantees Duvall to have more and more RBI opportunities.  (Whatever Duvall been slumping and moved down the lineup and is not batting behind Votto right now, don’t ever fact check my claims!)

(He didn’t quite get to those 100 RBI)

 

DOCnalysis

Duvall and Bruce kind of cancel each other out in my mind.  Castellanos might be better than old man Longoria moving forward, but I don’t know, maybe Longoria goes back to 2016 form and is better.  I like that Shane thought about the future and got an ASB draft pick here, so I will side with Shane in this deal since the players are close to each other talent wise.  Odom did unload an aging player in Longoria, so I do like that, but not sure he needed to give up the draft pick to do so.  YES, I VALUE DRAFT PICKS AND WILL NOT OVERLOOK THEM IN MY WRITINGS.  Don’t care if these draft picks are years away from fantasy relevance, I am a firm believer in always restocking your pipeline and acquiring up talent, even if that talent is simple trade bait.  This is more true to me now that we have 10 minors slots.

 

Astoria Isotopes Receive Stephen Gonsalves

Ocean Gate Trout Fishing Club Receive 6th draft pick in Spring Draft

 

Stephen Gonsalves – SP MIN

23 Years Old

2017 Stats – (AA, AAA) 9-5, 3.27 ERA, 1.13 WHIP, 110.0 IP, 118 Ks, 9.7 SO/9, 2.5 BB/9

Solid pitching prospect, K rates were a little better in minors then I thought and walk rate is solid.  Should debut in Minnesota this season, and time will tell as to how smooth a transition that will be.

 

DOCnalysis

This was a move Heroy made to position himself in the upcoming Spring Draft.  We will hold judgement on the deal until we see what Heroy does, because I do think there are more exciting prospects available in that draft when compared to Gonsalves.  With that said, Gonsalves will presumably be making and impact quicker then whoever is taken in the Spring Draft.

 

Ocean Gate Trout Fishing Club Receive Josh Hader, Kyle Hendricks, and 5th Spring pick

Lacey Township Backdoor Sliderz Receive Gregory Polanco, Steven Matz and 6th Spring Pick

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Josh Hader – P MIL

24 Years Old

2017 Stats – 12 Holds, 2.08 ERA, 0.99 WHIP, 3.03 FIP, 47.2 IP, 68 Ks, 12.8 SO/9, 4.2 BB/9

AAA Stats – 12 Starts, 5.37 ERA, 1.54 WHIP, 52.0 IP, 51 Ks, 8.8 SO/9, 5.4 BB/9

The curious case of Josh Hader.  He had high K rates but troubling walk rates.  He was lights out coming out of the pen last season as a rookie, but was not so good as a starter in AAA.  Looking at the numbers, looks like those control issues may keep him in the bullpen and out of the rotation, but I would expect he gets a shot to be a starter again at some point.  Will he be successful is the big question though?  He might be destined for a role in the bullpen.

 

Kyle Hendricks – SP CHC

28 Years Old

2017 Stats – 7-5, 3.03 ERA, 1.19 WHIP, 3.88 FIP, 139.2 IP, 123 Ks, 7.9 SO/9, 2.6 BB/9

I really like Kyle Hendricks.  He does not possess elite K numbers, and I think he gets overlooked a lot because of that.  But he has been pitching so well the last few seasons and is a guy that will pick up QS, low era, and wins for a very good Cubs team.  Without great K numbers though, a bad month might mean he hits the waiver wire and bounces around as a streaming option.

 

Gregory Polanco – RF, LF PIT

26 Years Old

2017 Stats – .251/.305/.391, .695 OPS, 39 Runs, 20 2Bs, 11 HRs, 35 RBIs

Polanco had a good 2016 that the young outfielder looked like he was going to build on heading into 2017.  Things did not go according to plan and injuries slowed him down greatly.  The once top prospect still has plenty of talent, and the hope here is he hasn’t had his true break out yet.

 

Steven Matz –  SP NYM

26 Years Old

2017 Stats – 2-7, 6.08 ERA, 1.53 WHIP, 5.05 FIP, 66.2 IP, 48 Ks, 6.5 SO/9, 2.6 BB/9

Not going to waste my time talking about Matz because I already dropped him.  His numbers and peripherals were terrible last year in an injury riddled season, which seems to be a Mets theme for as long as I can remember.

 

DOCnalysis

Well I like Polanco the most in this deal, but he has a lot to prove still.  Hendricks has probably proven himself to be the most polished in the deal, and Hader still has plenty of upside if he can get those control issues fixed a bit.  I’ll side with Heroy as the winner of this deal right now, but that can change in my mind if Hader stays in bullpen and Polanco builds off his 2016 season.

Trade Review: Holiday Edition