THE 2018 BACKYARD CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES REVIEW

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Since I’m “not allowed” to use the Doch pic (nor do I have any intention of ever looking at it again) this will have to do. Pretty similar tbh
Oh dear God what have I done. ME specifically, whom is probably most responsible for the Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz ending up our 2018 champeens. Far more responsible than their owner, that’s pretty much a definite. I spent all offseason and some of the season arming this franchise with talent for the foreseeable future and now they won the championship and now Doch will likely be insufferable. That is the bad news. The GOOD NEWS is I waited a long time to write this review and it won’t be nearly as detailed as last year’s review and I hope that eats at Doch the same way Doch eats at everything. Saddens Doch the same way he is saddened by Caffrey’s burning down (just one more Lacey burnout really).

 

Look I think it is no secret that I often just do reviews as a template off of preview reviews. To the point that some reviews probably have stats from previous reviews tucked in em, LIL EASTER EGGS if you will. I can assure you this will not be a template of last year’s BCS review, however, because I did not pay any attention to this year’s BCS and paid all the attention to last year’s because it was Odom vs. Lobman.
In conclusion this intro had really nothing to do with the Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz. Congrats to them. But also fuck them. And fuck Caffrey’s. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz Complete A Complete Postseason Performance, Defeat The Top-Seeded (First Time That Has Ever Happened In The BCS Way To Go You Failures) Astoria Isotopes  –  10-3-1

 

MVP:  Alex Bregman  –  YEA YEA YEA Acuna Jr. was the best player of the entire postseason run or yada yada but Alex Bregman was the best hitter in the BCS and that is what we do here. We award the best player in the particular series.  12/27, 6 Rs, 3 2Bs, 13 HRs, 9 RBIs, .500 OBP                     

LVP:  Nolan Arenado    SAD. Sad for me to do this to Nolan. But even his late attempts to salvage some respectability can’t erase the fact that he started out 0-18 in this series. NO CLUTCH. Nolan Gorman will be the better Nolan within three years.  3/25, 2 Rs, 1 2B, 2 RBIs, .148 OBP          

 

BackdoorSliderZ Hitter Of Note:  Juan Soto was the second best hitter in this series and this doesn’t at all mean that Acuna Jr. wasn’t excellent as well and all of this should annoy all of us what happened here (11/23, 3 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 HR, 6 RBIs, .538 OBP).

BackdoorSliderZ Pitcher Of Note:  Death, taxes, and Jacob deGrom having an excellent start for the ButtSliderZ with the Mets failing to get him a W (8 IP, 1 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1.13 ERA).

 

Isotopes Hitter Of Note:  Almost nobody on the Isotopes seemed all that interested in winning this particular championship but I want to shout out Miguel Andujar he seemed like he was trying, EVEN DREW SOME WALKS (7/26, 7 Rs, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs, .345 OBP).

Isotopes Pitcher Of Note:  I guess I have to point out German Marquez because even though this was against the suck-ass Padres it was impressive and now the ‘Topes will probably keep him into next season but also start him at Coors (5.50 ERA) because they lack a discerning fantasy eye (8 IP, 2 ER, 13 Ks, 1 QS, 2.25 ERA).

 

ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS:  FIRSTLY before I even get into an attempt to break this one down let me just say, fine fucking work by both participants/the commish in their media days. For the first time maybe ever I was kinda sad I don’t have instagram because I too would have liked to shit talk the father of Mikey T. But yea great job everyone involved, way to really STEER US into the social media revolution Odom. Maybe I will start Tindering.

ON TO THE MATCHUP………….. This felt less in doubt then it actually was, a bit of a wire to wire performance by the BackdoorSliderz but CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF as Sunday opened it was still there for the taking for the ‘Topes. Unfortunately the big bats of the Isotopes all kinda shrunk simultaneously and the pitching didn’t do enough and I am still not talking about the BackdoorSliderz much THEY WERE FINE. 6-1 cat advantage on the hitting side with mostly ho-hum numbers (.3705 OBP and 19 2Bs play just about anywhere I will concede that) and a 4-2-1 advantage on the pitching side en route to a tidy 10-3-1 championship victory. A CARAYYYYZAY SIX bullpen victories for the Lacey folk to really demoralize an Isotopes squad that pitched okay at times (7 QS) but just okay (4.008 ERA). German Marquez was masterful in his start for the ‘Topes I will have to concede that. But Walker Buehler was masterful pretty much all postseason for Lacey, he is yet another really good really young player they have TROUBLING SIGN.

In the end, it is a good thing that it is ridiculously hard to win back to back titles in this league. Nigh impossible now. So there’s solace in that.

 

 

 

 

 

WHAT IS NEXT FOR THE LEAGUE

 

iiiiii don’t fucking know. Probably more social media hullaballoo. At least I’m probably done changing team names, Brian will be pleased.

 

 

 

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Caffrey's Massive Fire Is Still Under Investigation: Lacey Chief-0

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THE 2018 BACKYARD CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES REVIEW

2018 “Road To The BCS”: Round 2 Review/BRIEF BCS Preview

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MUCH like this monkey, I am mostly depleted with these motherfucking reviews. FORTUNATELY the commish has done a fantastic job with the BCS Media Guide and Media Day and such so I don’t feel too strong of a need to get all crazy with the BCS Previews and such. I shouldn’t feel too strong a need to do any of this shit, but that is between me and the therapist I don’t have but perhaps need. FOR NOW let us review the failures of two teams contrasted with the non-failures (for now) of the other two teams…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz STAY HOT At Precisely The Time You Want To Be Hot, Take Down Second Seeded Garden State Warriors (AKA ….. …….)  –  10-2-2

 

MVP:  Gregory Polanco  –  Just a real balanced effort from the BackdoorSliderz in Round 2, and when that happens you end up in a weird limbo and before you know it Gregory Polanco is your MVP due to a ROUND TWO JROLL. Which I respect. Props to G-Po.  9/23, 5 Rs, 2 2B, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 5 RBIs, 1 SB, .483 OBP           

LVP: JT Realmuto    In this round we highlight the failures of the losers (and in the LVP section we always do that so seems redundant to even point it out), and despite your two steals from the C position you were a bit of a failure JT. Just a bit.  1/18, 1 R, 1 RBI, 2 SBs, .217 OBP      

 

BackdoorSliderz Hitter Of Note:  Probably need to highlight Ronald Acuna Jr. who CONTINUES to hit the ball very very well, although he fell off Rhyshistoric pace from last season’s X*Rayz title run by which all other rookie playoff performances shall still be measured SEE BELOW after the stats (8/28, 2 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 2 RBIs, 1 SB, .394 OBP):

Acuna Jr. Rounds 1-2:  .475ish OBP, 18 Rs, 3 2Bs, 6 HRs, 11 RBIs, 4 SBs

Hoskins Round 2:  10/26, 7 Rs, 1 2B, 6 HRs, 15 RBIs, .448 OBP

Hoskins Rounds 1-2:  .4560-.465ish OBP, 14 Rs, 1 2B, 10 HRs, 21 RBIs            

BackdoorSliderz Pitcher Of Note:  Anddd now back to the present day, where Jameson Tailon displayed a ball of steel in his fine Round 2 performance in a tricky road matchup with the Brew Crew (6 IP, 1 ER, 8 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.50 ERA).

 

Warriors (……..) Hitter Of Note:  ELSEWHERE in disappointing hitter news, the Warriors would have needed a far stronger week outta Francisco Lindor if they wanted to cool down the Sliderz (6/32, 4 Rs, 1 2B, 2 RBIs, .217 OBP).

Warriors (……….) Pitcher Of Note:  ELSEWHERE in disappointing Indians players performances, Carlos Carrasco boned things up (on the road @ Fenway in his defense) when he was needed most (3.2 IP, 5 ER, 6 Ks, 12.27 ERA).

 

ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS:  WHAT CAN YA SAY, the Backyard Playoffs are all about getting hot at the right time and the BackdoorSliderz be h-o-t. Acuna Jr. didn’t QUITE maintain his insane pace from Round 1 but he has remained uhhh productive as one might say, and the BackdoorSliderz followed a Round 1 SHUTOUT with a Round 2 balanced performance that saw them pitching to a sub 2 ERA and 99 Ks and all that good stuff. The Warriors, on the other hand, founded on their pitching but dealing with injuries all season long, pitched to an ERA ’round 4. Throw in a few uninspired hitting performances on the Warriors side and you have a 5-1-1 advantage on each side of the coin for Lacey, leading to their overall 10-2-2 victory. GREAT overall numbers on the pitching side for the BackdoorSliderz (99 Ks, 8 QS, 7 Ws, 7 Saves) and a solid .3666 OBP, MEDIOCRE numbers across the goddamn board for the Warriors (I guess you can argue 2 3Bs and 6 SBs are okay). WHAT CAN YA SAY.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Astoria Isotopes FINALLY Win A Playoff Matchup In The Live Ball Era, Deny River City Bad Dudes A Fourth Straight BCS Appearance  –  6-5-3

 

MVP:  Charlie Blackmon  –  FINALLY some signs of life from a one Charlie Blackmon, who contributed an R2 JROLL of his own. So yanno thematically it kinda made the most sense to give him MVP here as well, particularly with triples ending up as important as they ended up (Naztee having the only one in the matchup).  8/22, 5 Rs, 1 2B, 1 3B, 1 HR, 3 RBIs, 2 SBs, .391 OBP     **MVP OF ROUND TWO**     

LVP:  Miguel Sano    The man who MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE tried to force himself upon a photographer in a mall (#BelieveWomen #MeToo) sucked in Round 2, which MAY OR MAY NOT be karmic comeuppance for his misdeeds. Although in all likelihood neither are related in any way, small sample size/life is meaningless chaos/Sano has sucked in plenty of weeks. Way to hit a dinger though ya dingus.  2/22, 1 R, 1 HR, 2 RBIs, .125 OBP

 

Isotopes Hitter Of Note:  Khris Davis UNDERRATED MLB SLUGGER that he is with a quiet 3 HRs because everything he does is quieted by a racist MLB that’s the narrative I am going with here (6/29, 3 Rs, 3 HRs, 5 RBIs, .281 OBP).

Isotopes Pitcher Of Note:  Howz about Zach Wheeler dominating the Bad Dudes and their casual Mets fan ownership, there’s some sorta storyline to run with there I just know it but instead lets look at Cole Hamels and a critical CG (9 IP, 1 ER, 7 Ks, 1 QS, 1 CG, 1 W, 1.00 ERA).

 

Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note:  Not AJ Pollock‘s best work imho (3/19, 2 Rs, 1 2B, 4 RBIs, .182 OBP).

Bad Dudes Pitcher Of Note:  Samesies for a Nathan Eovaldi that was given TWO STARTS for the Bad Dudes, and failed in both (9.1 IP, 9 ER, 7 Ks, 8.68 ERA).

 

ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS:  SO CLOSE YET SO FAR, for the Bad Dudes in their quest for a fourth straight BCS appearance (and yanno to maybe win one again for a change). FINALLY, for the Astoria Isotopes franchise that seemingly hadn’t won a playoff game since Rent hit theaters which is also Isotopes ownership’s favorite movie FUN FACT there. And it all came down to those goddamned quirky “specialty” categories of ours so to speak, the ones that often work behind the scenes to swing a matchup. Here they were front and center:  A single triple and a somewhat improbable Cole Hamels CG ultimately gave the ‘Topes the 6-5-3 victory, the Bad Dudes getting the same (or more probably getting two triples) would have flipped the matchup in the other direction. The Isotopes barely make due on the hitting cats going 2-4-1 but make up for it with superior pitching (4-1-2) due to superior looking #s (100 Ks, 9 QS). The Bad Dudes eek out 8 Wins on a mere 4 QS and probably would have felt pretty good about their bullpen numbers typically (5 Saves 4 Holds) but NOT TO BE as the ‘Topes matched them pen for pen, peen for peen. Clearly I don’t have much to say here, tough break for the Bad Dudes and lets pretend I ended it on “peen for peen.” Here I’ll end it on peen for peen.riples Bad Dudes +1, HRs MooniniteZ +1, RBIs TIED, Strikeouts Bad Dudes +1, QS Bad Dudes +1, Wins Bad Dudes +1, Holds Bad Dudes +1.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BACKYARD CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES PREVIEW

 

AND SO IT IS FINALLY UPON US, after months of annoying trade offers and transactions and complaining about trade offers and transactions and number of DL spots and whether or not people need to adhere to agreed upon start limits in the long weeks and so on and so forth man I am already burnt out on the fantasy front BUT FIRST…..we have a Backyard Championship Series to play out y’all.   ALL OF THAT STUFF WAS FROM LAST YEAR BUT STILL APPLIES. This year’s BCS features a first ever #1 v. #5 matchup, a 1 seed has never lost in the BCS yada yada for more of this type info please refer to Odom’s excellent Media Guide somewhere below here. For now I’ll do my quick preview thing and get the fuck outta here.

 

 

 

 

#1 ASTORIA ISOTOPES                        VS.  #5 LACEY TOWNSHIP                                                                                                                                                                                                BACKDOORSLIDERZ

                                 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let’s do it corer by corner once again, IN THE HIGHER SEEDED CORNER we have the Astoria Isotopes. Riding high after finally performing at a level worthy of all the bullshit braggery about “regular season win totals” (a note for the millionth time, championships are all that matter), Isotopes ownership looks to take home their second championship overall and first since fucking forever. This team drafted behind other top teams for much of the season before winning their final two regular season matchups AGAINST THOSE SAME OTHER TOP TEAMS, and with that impressive feat they scored an impressive top seed. They’ve since followed that up with an impressive win over a Bad Dudes team that has been REALLY GOOD at making the BCS, but they didn’t this year so here the ‘Topes are. They’re lead by Nolan Arenado and KHRIS DAVIS on the hitting side and trying to accomplish all of this with Aaron Judge all set to miss the entire BCS postseason like the LOW ENERGY superstar that he is. On the pitching side the Isotopes are piecing things the fuck together, lead by an absolutely rejuvenated Cole Hamels and Zack Wheeler duet. Both would make for a better story if anyone actually wanted to root for the Astoria franchise, I s’pose.

In the other corner we have the #5 Seeded Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz, looking to cap off their  FIRST FULL SEASON (second overall) with a BCS title. Which would be positively Sean/Odom-esque if not for the fact that we won it in our “taking over for shitty previous ownership” inaugural debut so never mind nothing like that at all. Lacey Township probably needed a convergence of all sorts of factors to even MAKE the Backyard Bracket (because both of the back 2 seeds kinda did this season) but once they’ve gotten here they’ve made the most of it, absolutely wiping the floor with Rojo’s Renegade Force en route to a Round 1 shutout and following that up with an impressive win over a very-good (if also very injury prone) 2 seed. Now Lacey finds themselves in their first ever BCS, lead by YOUTH on the hitting side (Acuna Jr., Soto, Bellinger, Albis, Bregman) and also lead by a slightly older man named Matt Carpenter whom is their best player (Freddie Freeman is also good).  On the pitching side it’s a really solid stable featuring more youth (Buehler, Tailon, Kopech all a fuckin’ sudden) and really really good/really really established aces (Verlander, deGrom, Greinke). As the asshole tasked with doing a lot of the reviews and the Power Rankings and all that shit I will say that the BackdoorSliderz were sort of the most across-the-board dangerous franchise in 2018, did everything pretty well on both sides of the (base)ball. They also made some super smart trades to pick off Verlander and Greinke in separate deals, and to pick off all of my team’s youthful talent both at the beginning of the season and at the deadline. I will also say that all-season consistency MEANS LITTLE in a 7-day sample. The BackdoorSliderz are playing well currently but the fact of the matter is they are going to need to continue to do so to take down the top seed.

These two teams met twice in the regular season, as all teams are wont to do, and LO AND BEHOLD the BackdoorSliderz took down the top seed twice. First with an 8-5-1 victory in Week 1 and then an even more emphatic 11-1-2 throttling in Week 10, Lacey is the only team to have swept Astoria in 2018 and that should provide a certain level of confidence heading into this BCS Battle. That being said, beating a team as good as the ‘Topes three times in a season is hard, I would imagine. And that being said that is what will need to happen here if His Dochness is to grab himself his first champeenship. And that being said I have no idea whom people should root for here, I am particularly torn as I have CRAFTED both of these franchises in somewhat significant ways.

WHAT TO WATCH FOR:  ROY CANDIDATE PRODUCTION. For the BackdoorSliderz they will likely go as far as their two phenomenal NL ROY candidates can take them (Ronald Acuna Jr. / Juan Soto) but do not sleep on the Isotopes AL ROY candidate, Miguel Andujar. A big week outta him just might propel the Isotopes O to grab a few necessary hitting cats in a tough matchup with a tough 5 seed. History is on the side of the 1 seed, history is also bullshit. SO TUNE IN.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Image result for golden bear jackMay A True Champion Bear Inspire You Both…..
2018 “Road To The BCS”: Round 2 Review/BRIEF BCS Preview

2018 Backyard Bracket/”Road To The BCS” Round 1 Review/Round 2 Preview

 

 

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Editor’s Note:  A REAL TREAT FOR BLOG FANS, as you do not have to read yours truly for this round. It only feels right that Doch would be rewarded for his HISTORIC 14-0 annihilation of a Round 1 opponent that shall remain nameless for at least another couple of lines, so I am giving him the highest honor I can bestow:  the opportunity to write up a review that properly encapsulates the ass whoopin. Take it away Mr. Dochtober…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

Round 1 in Review: #Dochtake Edition

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Bad Dudes Salt the Slugs 7-6-1 to eliminate the greatest team that has ever lost in the first round in Backyard history (#Slugfacts)

 

MVP

Tough call because of solid performances all around for the Bad Dudes on an offense that saw big numbers this week, including them tying the doubles record in a single week with 31.  This is the very first week I have the honor to choose an MVP, the pressure is on, do I give it to Stanton (.452 OBP, 4 2Bs, 2 HRs, 6 Runs, 4 RBIs, 1 SB)?  Do I give it to Abreu (.444 OBP, 2 2Bs, 2 HRs, 4 Runs, 9 RBIs)?  Or will I give it to Bryce Harper (.379 OBP, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 4 Runs, 8 RBIs)?  All well deserving individuals for the honor, hell, even Odor (9 RBIs), Chapman (5 2Bs, 5 Runs) and Treinen (3 IP, 7 Ks, 1 W, 2 Saves) deserve some recognition.

 

After putting a lot of thought into this, we are going to give MVP honors to the New York Mets this week.  They played spoiler a few times for the Slugs during the week, including the Sunday night showdown against Pivetta and Phillies.  They also beat the Yankees on Monday, knocking Slug ace Luis Severino out after 4 innings in which he gave up 4 earned.  Just 1 victory against the lowly Mets would have been enough to get the Slugs into the second round.  But the Mets burned the Slugs GM for turning his back on them as a fan.

 

LVP

Slugs GM Brian Smith

 

Did Brian overmanage his team in the playoffs?  It is going to be a question he will have to live with years from now.  What could have been?  It was proclaimed early in the year that this was his year, his team was the best, and overall, he is smarter and a better person than everyone else in league (he may not have said that last piece but he probably thinks it).  He did leave Gomber, a guy he traded for at the deadline, on his bench out of fear.  What did Gomber do from the bench you ask?  Oh well he just went out there and pitched great against the Nationals (6 IP, 0 earned, 6 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W).  If you recall from the above paragraph, Brian needed just 1 more win to get himself into the second round.  That one win was sitting on his bench the entire time right in front of him.  It was like that nerdy girl in high school that you did not realize was actually very beautiful once she takes off her glasses and lets her hair down.  That girl went on to blossom into a beautiful strong young woman.  She was right there in front of you the entire time and you never noticed Brian.

 

In all reality, it probably would have been Roark or Bucholz not getting a stream start if Gomber was in the lineup Wednesday for the slugs.  They each picked up quality starts and W’s as well.  But that is not as dramatic for the sake of the blog.  So, Brian, you blew it, LVP of the week.  You sir, are your own worst enemy.  Cue the guitar rift from My Own Worst Enemy by the classic 90s one hit wonder band, Lit.  (for the record I owned 2 Lit CDs in my youth, I was 10)

 

 

RCBD Hitter of Note

Jose Abreu (.444 OBP, 2 2Bs, 2 HRs, 4 R, 9 RBI)

A lot of guys had good weeks for the Bad Dudes offense, special shout out to my boy Jed Lowrie who had 6 RBIs on 13 at bats.  Abreu just seemed like the right pick here.  Most RBIs on the Bad Dudes, who put up 66 RBIs this week.

 

RCBD Pitcher of Note

Dakota Hudson (2 IP, 0.00 ERA 2 Ks, 1 W, 2 H)

Nobody really stood out on the Bad Dudes staff.  Sure, Jake Arrieta had a good game, and Lobman’s boy Treinen had a few saves and a win.  But when it came down to it, the Slugs could not manage a hold, and fell 1-win shy of winning the matchup this week.  SP eligible high minors reliever going out there and making a difference in what became 2 important categories this week.  Hudson’s 2 holds were the only 2 of the matchup and the 1 win was absolutely a difference maker.

 

 

BBS Hitter of Note

Whit Merrifield (.500 OBP, 1 2B, 1 HR, 4 R, 6 RBIs, 2 SB)

I was uninspired by the Slugs hitters this week, so we will give this honor to Whit Merrifield because whatever why not.  This could have easily gone to Trevor Story (.423 OBP, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 6 R, 3 RBIs, 2 SB), but I was uninspired by his 3 RBIs.  Good job Whit, see you back in a backyard lineup next season.

 

BBS Pitcher of Note

Max Scherzer (6 IP, 7 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W)

Usual Max Scherzer line there.  1 start week for Max, and he did his job.  The same cannot be said for Luis Severino and Nick Pivetta.  They each had a 2-start week and all they had to do was beat that small market team in New York just once between the both of them.  But the Mets’ offense decided to show up this week and ruin what was supposed to be Brian’s year.

 

 

Matchup Notes

 

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Lobman is turning into the Buffalo Bills of the Backyard.  He wiggled his way into the Backyard playoffs with the 6th seed and we may all pay for it.  Lobman’s offense is starting to click at the absolute best time for the Bad Dudes.  The Bad Dudes outslugged the Slugs and won the offensive categories 5-1-1.  Perhaps having a better offense is more important when it comes to playoff time in the Backyard.  The aces on the Slugs only had 1 night in some cases to influence the matchup and it proved to not be enough.

 

On the other hand, I thought Brian had the best team ever, what happened?  This is at least what we were all lead to believe by the Slugs leader himself for most of the regular season.  There must be some sort of conspiracy to why the best team ever lost in the first round of the Backyard Playoffs.  How can a team that is so good possibly lose in the first round?  Was it because of aliens?  Is the Illuminati to blame?  Is the entire world out to get Brian?  Is this all a dream and Brian really won, but I am writing a fake blog post from a dream coma?  Brian removed himself from the chat so we perhaps may never know!  With Alex Jones out of work, one might think the Backyard should consider employing him to get to the bottom of this conspiracy.  We must find out why the government turned the frogs gay!  And perhaps they did the same to the slugs, it just went unnoticed until now.  Were the frogs being gay just a false flag to bring down the Barnegat Banana Slugs!?  Maybe the Curse of Charlie Morton was real after all!  One must now think; will the curse carry over to 2019 for the Slugs?

 

The once fearless Slugs leader, who was not afraid to announce this as his banner season as early as week 6, turned into a shell of himself.  One could smell the fear the Slugs started to have towards the Bad Dudes by mid-week when Muncy and Schoop were both waived in a desperate attempt to beat the Bad Dudes.  I would like to point out that Muncy was part of the same trade that brought Gomber over, who Brian benched.  Was it mentioned yet that the Gomber win on the bench would’ve been a difference maker in this matchup?

 

Lobman will go on to face the number 1 seeded Isotopes in the battle of the Mikes.

 

Brian will hopefully end his radio silence on Backyard Live to take his lumps for the cockiness he had in the beginning of the season, or at least give us a rant on why he was screwed over, or why we should have more DL spots, or we shouldn’t police our minors so no one risks losing anyone.  But hey at least he still has Vlad Jr….. unless the Curse of Charlie Morton gets to him next.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Lacey Township Backdoor Sliderz just barely squeeze past the Renegades 14-0-0

 

 

MVP

Ronald Acuna Jr.  (.559 OBP, 2 2Bs, 4 HRs, 11 R, 9 RBIs, 3 SB)

Acuna Matada Mother Fuckers!  This 20-year-old prodigy broke out in a big way over the last few weeks.  He really started the week off hot Monday and Tuesday, contributing to Rojo getting buried early on according to some in Backyard Live (looking at Odom).  Whether you believed he was buried that early on or not, Rojo had an uphill battle this week after only the first 2 days of the playoffs.   Acuna had 4 HRs and 7 R, and all 9 of his RBIs by the end of Tuesday night alone.  What kind of week could this kid have had if Jose Urena didn’t act like a coward and throw at Acuna’s elbow, knocking the young man out of the game Wednesday and cooling him off slightly in the process.  Fuck Jose Urena!

 

LVP

Rojo

Rojo mismanaged his team early on in the week if you ask me.  For a team that is built on flexibility and the “line changes” he does daily, there is no reason that he should be with empty spots in his lineup.  On quite a few occasions this week he was starting a guy in his lineup that was not in his real-life team’s lineup for that day.  I am not talking about just on light days when there aren’t a lot of games, but on days where every team is playing, he would have guys in his lineup that were riding pine.  I actually counted up the amount of times he started a guy that was not starting in his team’s actual lineup, Rojo did this 16 times throughout the week.  He did this 3 days in a row with Joc Pederson alone.  This is not a good job on a team that is seemingly built on flexibility.  Maybe he was too busy worrying about what relievers to stream instead of making sure he had a complete lineup for the day, and this is a bad job my friend.  I believe there is some sort of playoff winless streak going on here, so better luck next year.

 

 

LTBS Hitter of Note

Justin Turner (.567 OBP, 3 2Bs, 3 HRs, 8 Runs, 7 RBIs, 1 SB)

This ginger proved you don’t need a soul to hit.  Good job brother, keep up the good work.

 

LTBS Pitcher of Note

Jacob deGrom (15.2 IP, 2 ER, 1.15 ERA, 21 Ks, 2 QS, 2 W, 1 CG)

This guy is awesome.  Degrominant in the 2-start week.  He finally received some run support in those 2 starts and that equals 2 victories for deGrom, including a CG.  One of the best pitchers in baseball right here, and deserves some serious recognition for the Cy Young Award.

 

 

RRF Hitter of Note

Paul Goldschmidt (.607 OBP, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 5 R, 7 RBIs, 1 SB)

Goldy is pretty good by the way, in case someone wasn’t aware out there.  He was constantly on base this week, but ultimately it did not matter for a Renegades team that failed to win a single category.

 

RRF Pitcher of Note 

Corey Kluber (7 IP, 1 ER, 1.29 ERA, 7 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W)

Klubot is good, I’m sure other Sean has written extensively about him in the past so you’re going to have to keep scrolling to see more info on Kluber.

 

 

Matchup Notes

Well for one I was very fortunate during double headers this week.  Was also very fortunate that Rojo was not attentive enough to his lineup, which was the storyline to this matchup.  16 TIMES THIS WEEK HE HAD A PLAYER IN HIS LINEUP THAT WAS NOT IN HIS REAL-LIFE LINEUP!  It is going to be difficult to win no matter who you are when that is happening.  You’re missing out on potentially 50 at bats just by not checking lineups.  The Backdoor Sliderz had 44 more at bats than the Renegades this week, and the Sliderz did not roster a catcher for a single day during the week.  Rojo, who has made 450 moves this season, needed to make more moves to just ensure he is running a full lineup nightly.  Joc Pederson was benched 3 days in a row but Rojo ran him out his lineup for all 3 of those days.  I also question if Hosmer is rosterable as well.  But I digress and will manage my own team, which is moving on to round 2 for the first time in franchise history.

The BabySliderz jumped out to a real hot start this week and never looked back.  They will now look ahead to the number 2 seed Garden State Warriors led by R Mac.  Also of note, this is the 4th week in a row that Dochney will be facing a Ryan.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Round 2 Preview

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Astoria Isotopes (1 Seed) Vs. River City Bad Dudes (6 Seed)

The Topes took over the number 1 seed by beating the Slugs in the final week of the season.  The Topes are led by some star power, but 2 of their biggest stars are currently on the DL.  Being without Judge and Sale are both a big blow for the Topes.

The Bad Dudes on the other hand have been red hot over the last month, and they have some big names on the offensive side of the ball themselves.  They looked like an absolute offensive monster in round 1 of the playoffs.  The Topes may have some big names, but are they enough to hold off the scorching Bad Dudes without the Pride of the Topes (Judge)?

The season series was split between these 2.  The Bad Dudes won in Week 16 (6-5-3), while the Topes won in Week 7 (7-6-1)

PreDOCHtion: Bad Dudes take down the Topes to advance to yet another BCS Finals.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Garden State Warriors (2 Seed) host the Lacey Township Backdoor Sliderz (5 Seed)

Week 18 rematch for our other Backyard Round 2 playoff matchup.  R Mac could have secured the 1 seed and eliminated the Baby Sliderz from the playoffs with a Week 18 win, but was unable to do so and now Dochney will be looking to make the Warriors pay for letting him in the playoffs.

The Warriors perhaps have the best team in the league.  Dominate pitching staff when healthy and have very exciting young talent in Lindor, Correa, Gleyber, Baez, and Benintendi.  But this team is not the healthiest at this point in the season.  Darvish, Strasburg, Paxton, and Doolittle all sit on the DL for the Warriors, while the Sliderz are looking relatively healthy (KNOCK ON WOOD).  Strasburg may be back Wednesday for a start, but it is very likely R Mac will not have the other 3 for the remainder of the playoffs.

The Sliderz will lean on their youth to get them into the Backyard finals.  Hoping Acuna and Carpenter are not feeling any effects from being hit by pitches in scary spots last week.  There is also a highly anticipated Backyard debut for Michael Kopech, who will have a 2-start week to get his feet wet in the Backyard.

Season Series was split between these 2.  Warriors won the Week 9 matchup (9-4-1).  Sliderz won Week 18 (8-5-1).

PreDOCHtion: Backdoor Sliderz win because I am being biased.  No hard evidence to support the predochtion, screw you all!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

IT ALL COMES DOWN TO THE FIELD OF FOUR AND FOLLOWING THAT WE WILL BE AT A FIELD OF TWO AND WHOEVER WINS THAT ONE WILL BE OUR 20178 CHAMPION AND AT LEAST IT ISN’T THE TROUT FISHING CLUB BARNEGAT BANANA SLUGS AMIRITE? NOW IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME I HAVE A MATCHUP TO TURN AROUND OR POSSIBLY NOT TURN AROUND LIFE TO LIVE… HOPING TO SEE SOME MORE PEP IN THE TEAM’S STEP GOING FORWARD IN 2019 THOUGH GOTTA BE HONEST. BYBR2 TUNE IN……………….

 

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2018 Backyard Bracket/”Road To The BCS” Round 1 Review/Round 2 Preview

THE 2018 JROLL AWARD

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THE 2018 JROLL AWARD

 

 

FIRST SOME FLUFF…..

 

 

TOTAL JROLLS IN 2018 BACKYARD REGULAR SEASON:  THIRTY TWO (19 in 2017)  

 

JROLLS BY TEAM:

 

Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz:  9 (Ozzie Albies x3Gregory Polanco x3Freddie Freeman, Jose Altuve, Carlos Gonzalesfor some reason)

OceanGate Trout Fishing Club:  6  (Mookie Betts x3, Trea Turner x2, Mike Trout)

River City Bad Dudes:  5 (AJ Pollockx2, Wilson Contreras, Manny Machado, Andrew McCutchen)

Garden State Warriors:  4 (Andrew Benintendi, Austin Meadows, Christian Yelich, Yoan Moncada)

Astoria Isotopes:  3 (Jean SeguraYolmer Sanchez, DUSTIN FOWLER)

Point Loma X-Rayz:  2 (Jose Ramirez x2)

Barnegat Banana Slugs:  1  (Trevor Story)

Bell Road Bears:  1  (Ian Desmond)

Q-Tip City Morning Wood:  1  (Starling Marte)

 

 

 

PRETTIEST JROLL OF THE SEASON:

 

Wilson Contreras (Bad Dudes), Week 6:  3 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 3 HRs, 1 SB AND ALSO IS A CATCHER

 

 

UGLIEST JROLL OF THE SEASON:

 

Whatever Dustin Fowler did ‘cuz it was Dustin Fowler (Week 7)

 

 

 

 

AND NOW, YOUR 2018 JROLL AWARD WINNER…….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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YEA UNFORTUNATELY IT IS MOOKIE BETTS. The Sawks hater in me hopes this curses him for 2019 because last year’s JROLLwinner, Charlie Blackmon, did not have a SINGLE JROLL in 2018. But yes came down to Betts vs. Albies vs. Polanco and uh see chart below:

 

COMBINED 2Bs/3Bs/HRs/SBs

Mookie Betts:  89

Ozzie Albies:  69 (nice.)

Gregory Polanco:  57

 

Makes it pretty clear sadly, so CONGRATS TO MOOKIE BETTS. Now if only management could get you into the Backyard Bracket more. If. Only.

 

 

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THE 2018 JROLL AWARD

2018 Week 17 Review: “CRAZY FUCKING SHIT I TELL YA” Edition

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WEEK 17 really set us up for some shit….is what it did. Whether it be the end o’ the Warriors Win Streak or the CONTINUED slide of a Bell Road Bears franchise that has just been a mess of late or losses by two of the like 4 teams vying for that last playoff spot (or two) or RRF playing for a tie like an absolute disgrace. All of that stuff combined to set up a ZANY Week 18. First let’s lightly touch on all of that stuff……

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Rojo’s Renegade Force Spit In The Face Of The Fantasy Baseball Gods, Play It Safe In Order To Tie Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz  –  6-6-2

 

MVP:  Justin Verlander  –  Norrrrrmally I don’t like to point out MVPs in tie situations (I mean not normally but at least a couple times this season) but in this scenario, since they deadlocked at 93 Ks (SINCE ROJO SAT HIS TWELFTH STARTER) I will have to point out that Verlander struck out 14 in but one start.  7.2 IP, 1 ER, 14 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.17 ERA      

LVP:  Rojo    BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.  BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THIS MAN.  1 Benched Masahiro     ***LVP OF THE WEEK***           

 

BackdoorSliderz Hitter Of Note:  With apologies to the Acuna JROLL I wanna instead note that Matt Carpenter is still having his best season ever at 32.66 years of age because that gives me hope (11/26, 7 Rs, 2 2Bs, 4 HRs, 7 RBIs, 1 SB, .543 OBP).

BackdoorSliderz Pitcher Of Note:  Another guy that pitched well and racked up Ks was a young fellow by the name of Walker Buehler (12.1 IP, 3 ER, 15 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 2.19 ERA).

 

RRF Hitter Of Note:  Nelson Cruz still CRUZIN (sorry) towards yet another 30+ HR campaign at 38 and that also gives me hope, LOVE THESE TWO HITTERS OF NOTE (7/26, 4 Rs, 1 2B, 4 HRs, 10 RBIs, .326 OBP).

RRF Pitcher Of Note:  HUH that’s weird I coulda sworn Masahiro Tanaka was lined up for two starts in Week 17 HOW PECULIAR (6 IP, 0 ER, 8 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 0.00 ERA).

 

Week 18:  Sliderz v. Warriors (7-9-1 v. 13-4)

                   RRF @ X*Rayz (8-7-2 @ 7-10)

 

 

 

 

 

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Barnegat Banana Slugs Complete Season Sweep On A River City Bad Dudes Team That Would Have Preferred That They Had Not  –  9-1-4

 

MVP:  Trevor Story  –  GROSS I KNOW, but in the battle of middle-infielders-whom-I-enjoy-trashing-to-their-owners Story had uhhh one more RBI than the other guy. And PERHAPS that made all the difference, one could incorrectly claim.  7/26, 5 Rs, 1 2B, 4 HRs, 11 RBIs, 1 SB, .296 OBP     ***MVP OF THE WEEK***

LVP:  Jon Lester    Jonny really let the squad down with a two start performance that did no favors for a Bad Dudes team that needed to try and steal ERA.  2/21, 1 R, 1 RBI, .136 OBP           

 

Banana Slugs Hitter Of Note:  Howz about Salvador Perez with a MATCHUP HIGH 3 dongs (7/31, 3 Rs, 3 HRs, 8 RBIs, .250 OBP).

Banana Slugs Pitcher Of Note:  Nick Pivetta gave up 6 runs in an inning of work back on the 4th o’ May but since then he’s been v. good again GOOD FOR NICK (12 IP, 2 ER, 14 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.50 ERA).

 

Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note:  But yea Bryce Harper also hit three (7/25, 3 Rs, 2 2Bs, 3 HRs, 7 RBIs, .321 OBP).

Bad Dudes Pitcher Of Note:  Dylan Covey also TECHNICALLY let the squad down but the Bad Dudes trotted Dylan Covey out sooooo (4.1 IP, 4 ER, 1 K, 8.31 ERA).

 

Week 18:  Slugs @ Isotopes (12-5 @ 12-4-1, CO-BBOTW) 

                   Bad Dudes v. Babadooks (7-10 v. 8-9, CO-BBOTW)

 

 

 

 

 

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Q-Tip City Morning Wood And An On The Bonerz Payroll Aroldis Chapman STUN The Bell Road Bears On Sunday Night  –  8-4-2

 

MVP:  JD Martinez  –  JD Martinez had no business getting up in the 9th inning of that game but SURE ENOUGH he did and sure enough he took down the Bears on the very first pitch, credit to that guy but also fuck that guy THIS WAS KARMIC RETRIBUTION for all the Sunday night games I stole JD is but a tool…..a tool of destiny.  7/23, 4 Rs, 4 2Bs, 1 HR, 4 RBIs, 1 SB, .429 OBP

LVP:  Aroldis Chapman    Aroldis Chapman simply needed to close out a goddamned 3 run save and perhaps not give up a run and instead he did the opposite of that and turned what was headed for a 7-7 tie into an 8-4-2 loss. Aroldis Chapman will be traded this offseason.  2 IP, 2 ER, 6 Ks, 9.00 ERA     

 

Morning Wood Hitter Of Note:  Didi Gregorius put together his best week since like April I am gonna say, without checking one bit (8/24, 4 Rs, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs, .385 OBP).

Morning Wood Pitcher Of Note:  And also Rick Porcello you mother….fucker (9 IP, 1 ER, 9 Ks, 1 QS, 1 CG, 1 W, 1.00 ERA).

 

Bears Hitter Of Note:  Elvis Andrus hit two triples which was very kind of him, even if ULTIMATELY MEANINGLESS (10/29, 4 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs, .345 OBP).

Bears Pitcher Of Note:  Freddy Peralta wildly efficient enough in Week 17 for me to keep him beyond his High Minors status, we now fully expect him to be wildly inefficient in Week 18 (10 IP, 3 ER, 14 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 2.70 ERA).

 

Week 18:  MW v. OGTFC (1-7 v. 3-5)

                   Bears @ Bad Dudes (8-9 @ 7-10, CO-BBOTW)

 

 

 

 

 

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OceanGate Trout Fishing Club INEXPLICABLY Keep Their Bracket Hopes Hanging By A Threat, Put Mission Valley X*Rayz In A Need-Help-To-Get-In Scenario  –  7-4-3

 

MVP:  Brian Dozier  –  THE DOZEMAN. Or whatever.  7/19, 5 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 7 RBIs, .455 OBP     

LVP:  Magnerius Sierra  –  Unfortunately for the X*Rayz the X*Rayz had like three different guys I could have given this one to. Gonna go with Magnerius because he has the funnest name but don’t think I didn’t see you Dee (2/19) and Nicholas (3/21), REAL DISAPPOINTMENTS you two…were….here.  2/16, 1 R, .125 OBP

 

OGTFC Hitter Of Note:  Howz bout Willie Calhoun  actually appearing and contributing in a Backyard season, LONG TIME COMIN’ folks (6/18, 4 Rs, 3 2Bs, 4 RBIs, .400 OBP).

OGTFC Pitcher Of Note:  Howz about Zack Godley apparently back to being good after taking most of the season off (7 IP, 0 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 0.00 ERA).

 

X*Rayz Hitter Of Note:  Silver linings for X*Rayz fans, they still own Jose Ramirez and he is probably the Backyard’s best player in 2018 (10/22, 3 Rs, 2 2Bs, 3 HRs, 8 RBIs, 3 SBs, .538 OBP).

X*Rayz Pitcher Of Note:  Sucky linings for both X*Rayz fans and fans of the actual Rays SHAKIN THINGS UP, Ryan Yarbrough struggled to follow the “openers” last week (10.1 IP, 11 ER, 10 Ks, 1 W, 9.58 ERA).

 

Week 18:  OGTFC @ MW (6-9-2 @ 2-15)

                   X*Rayz v. RRF (7-10 v. 8-7-2)

                 

 

 

 

 

2018 WEEK 17 BACKYARD BATTLE OF THE WEEK, SPONSORED BY A BEAR THAT DON’T CARE

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Astoria Isotopes Defeat Garden State Warriors, Also Do Not Shut The Fuck Up About The Matchup Deep Into The Wee Hours Of Monday Morning Astoria Isotopes  –  5-4-5

 

MVP:  Khris Davis  –  Khris Davis is absolutely the forgotten man in both the Backyard and all of baseball and I for one am SICK OF IT. I mean HO HUM no biggie he’s just on his way to his third straight 40 HR season, the year before these 40 HR seasons started he had 27 in 121 games. HO HUM. Khris Davis deserves some RESPECT.  7/22, 4 Rs, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs, .407 OBP    

LVP:  Wil Myers    Tough start to the week for Big Wily and then he went on the DL to save face, or due to a legit injury, or something.  1/14, 1 R, .071 OBP          

 

Isotopes Hitter Of Note:  Nolan Arenado remains good but I mean EVERYBODY KNOWS THIS (9/30, 5 Rs, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs, .364 OBP).

Isotopes Pitcher Of Note:  The ‘Topes went back to their Tylers well and it failed so lets at least point out their failures, AND I LIKE Tyler Skaggs (3.1 IP, 10 ER, 3 Ks, 27.00 ERA).

 

Warriors Hitter Of Note:  I for one am super happy that Javier Baez finally fucking arrived, damn fine season for Javy B and Cardi B alike (10/24, 5 Rs, 3 2Bs, 1 3B, 3 HRs, 7 RBIs, .481 OBP).

Warriors Pitcher Of Note:  David Price Gerrit Cole got screwed out of a win on Sunday night a good hour before I got screwed out of a win and GOOD I AM GLAD but also what a shame cuz it helped the ‘Topes (14 IP, 3 ER, 10 Ks, 2 QS, 1.93 ERA).

 

BBOTW “BREAKDOWN”

 

USUALLY I break this thang down with at least some level of detail but since Mikey T wouldn’t shut the fuck up about a matchup that didn’t budge the standings one bit you can just refer back to his running commentary. Isotopes tied the hitting cats 2-2-3 and “won” the pitching cats 3-2-2.

In Week 18 the Astoria Isotopes face the Barnegat Banana Slugs WITH A BYE ON THE LINE, so if he talks a lot about this one at least it will make slightly more sense. In Week 18 the Garden State Warriors take on the Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz NOT WITH A BYE ON THE LINE they seemingly locked one up but yea. Certainly the one seed will be on the line and certainly they will have the chance to send the Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz to the depths of hell and/or the offseason.

 

 

Week 18:  Isotopes v. Slugs (12-4-1 v. 12-5, CO-BBOTW)

                   Warriors @ Sliderz (13-4 @ 7-9-1)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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2018 Backyard Regular Season Finale is very much upon us, leading us straight into the 2018 Backyard Bracket. And just about nothing is settled, other than the fact that the Bell Road Bears have been Dumpster Bears of late. Quick rundown of what’s at stake in Week 18 for historical documentation:

 

  • In the first of our unprecedented CO-BACKYARD BATTLE(S) OF THE WEEK, the Astoria Isotopes host the Barnegat Banana Slugs with the winner guaranteed to grab a bye. There’s also the opportunity for one (or both) of them to grab the Backyard Brackets top seed (if the Warriors lose, more on that later) so I guess that was perhaps why ‘Topes ownership was acting all hot and bothered all Sunday evening, but still fuck them.
  • In the second CO-BBOTW, the River City Bad Dudes host a reeling Bell Road Bears franchise in what amounts to a play-in game for the Backyard Bracket. The Bears could get up the 4 seed with a win coupled with a RRF loss, the Bad Dudes seemingly can’t get higher than 5 but their PRECIOUS playoffs streak is at stake in this one.
  • Those top-seeded Garden State Warriors head into Week 18 comfortably locked into a bye BUT uncomfortably still able to lose the top seed, with a loss coupled with an Isotopes win. As discussed that hasn’t mattered since the great McLOdom/Heroy #1 seed vs. #2 seed BCS ties of 2013 BUT yanno, still would like to hold onto top seed I s’pose. This matchup is more important because pretty much every team from the 5 seed to the 9 seed will be watching the fate of the Lacey Township BackdoorSliderza loss for them opening up all sorts of possibilities both above and below.
  • One team looking to cash in on those possibilies is the Mission Valley X*Rayzwho need to defeat Rojo’s Renegade Force and get wins out of the Bears and Warriors in order to grab a spot in the Bracket and have a chance to properly defend their title. The 2017 OGTFC are as of right now the only defending champeen to fail to make the “playoffs” (yuck) the following season. As for Rojo’s Renegade Force, MAYBE THEY WANNA TRY AND WIN FOR A CHANGE as a loss coupled with a Bears win drops them down to the 5 seed on account of the crazy like 4th tiebreaker or whatever WINS. And having a lower seed in Round 1 can bite a team in the ass, as the RRF are aware (they lost to the eventual champion #4 seed OGTFC on a 6-6-2 tie in 2016).
  • And LAST BUT NOT LEAST, even the goddamned matchup with the goddamned 2-15 team has some intrigue. Q-Tip City Morning Wood are looking to match their wins total of 3 from last season, apparently that has some sort of significance to them and I consider that truly admirable. The OceanGate Trout Fishing Club on the other hand are looking for some sort of 2008 Philadelphia Eagles sneak into the playoffs shenanigans. A win over the Bonerz coupled with losses by the X*RayzBackdoorSliderz, and Bad Dudes and RATHER IMPROBABLY the OGTFC are in the Backyard Bracket as your 7-9-2 #6 seed.

 

 

so yea…………..crazy shit man…………………..

 

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2018 Week 17 Review: “CRAZY FUCKING SHIT I TELL YA” Edition

2018 MIDSEASON AWARDS: JK JUST PICTURES OF NALA EDITION

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So in lieu of Midseason Awards this particular season (and to be honest in lieu of uhhh, at a MINIMUM 😉 probably the next month’s worth of possible blog bullshit outta me, CONSIDER ME ON HIATUS), just gonna post a couple pictures of Nala who passed away on Thursday and was my whole entire heart.  RIP Nala Bear.

 

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2018 MIDSEASON AWARDS: JK JUST PICTURES OF NALA EDITION

2018 TROLL SERIES VOLUME 2: FINALLY IT CAN BE DONE, THE DEFINITIVE TOP 10 BACKYARD CHAMPIONS OF ALL TIME

Where will last year’s X*Rayz rank (asterisk and all)?  I WILL DECIDE AND ONLY ME

 

Consider this a bit of a Troll For Champions, as I’m sure everyone feels like their team was the best championship team OF ALL TIME and mostly everyone there is wrong. It is also a bit of a troll because I am doing VERY LITTLE research here. So finally, as a labor of love, and since we finally have 10 league champions, I will rank them all. The last troll article had some rules let’s get some more rules in here.

The Rules:

  • FIRST RULE, is more of a statement and that statement is I don’t have access to any league pages before like 2013. So really I am the worst possible person to compile a top ten. HERE IT IS ANYWAYS.
  • Previous season result MATTERS, in the obvious ways you will expect it to matter. aka teams that win multiple years in a row should obviously be PRAISED BY ALL.
  • Regular season stats matter A BIT, particularly since I only have that to go off of for a couple of seasons. 
  • But playoff run also matters, particularly since I only happen to know the playoff runs for a couple of seasons. Alright let’s get to it, I don’t even think I needed to list rules but I copy and pasted the top from last time for some reason ANYWAYS HERE WE GO…

 

 

 

 

 

NUMBER 10

 

2017 – POINT LOMA X*RAYZ:   10-6-2

 

Notable Performers:  Jose Ramirez, Dee Gordon, Billy Hamilton, Elvis Andrus, Daniel Murphy, Chris Archer, Robbie Ray, Jeff Samardzija, Edwin Diaz, Dellin Betances

 

Why They’re Number Ten:  BECAUSE THEIR BCS #NimmoGate CONTROVERSY NEARLY RUINED US ALL. I love this particular roster and was a big fan of their playoff run, but lets face it the BCS uhhh “incident” was a bit o’ a shitshow. And since that shitshow was mostly due to a terrible rule established by this team’s OWN OWNER that kinda seals their fate as the number ten here. Which doesn’t at all take away from the fact that Odom has taken home the chip (or co-taken co-home) in 4 of 7 seasons in the league which is plenty fucking impressive. And I thank him for Rhys Hoskins in a roundabout way (assuming Rhys works out).

 

 

 

NUMBER 9

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2011 – JIMBO’S VULCAN DEATH GRIP:   9-11

 

Notable Performers:  Mike Napoli, Elvis Andrus, Michael Young, Carlos Gonzalez (half the season), Hanley Ramirez (the other half), Joe Mauer (the other half but also always hurt), CC Sabathia (half the season), Cole Hamels (the other half), an erratic Ubaldo Jimenez, David Robertson

(special thanks to Odom for helping me remember some guys)

 

Why They’re Number Nine:  REGULAR SEASON RECORD is what does this team no favors. Despite a fan favorite name and an impressive championship in their eventual inaugural season as owners, the facts are the facts and the facts are this is the only team to ever win a championship with a sub-.500 regular season record. I am also going to claim this team INVENTED THE BLOCKBUSTER, because this thing is full of wild claims without sources. A midseason deal sent That record CC and CarGo to the WVU Bombers or whatfuckingever for Mauer, Hanley Ramirez, and Cole Hamels and those three would be staples on the team for YEARS TO COME. Mauer would go on to homer in a first round matchup against WVU which was amusing because he hit all of 3 HRs that season. But YEA THE RECORD, the record gave the doubters plenty of fuel with which to doubt. DOUBT THAT WOULD PROVE FOOLISH. clearly it was a star, t from humble beginnings for the Odom/Sean dynasty to be.

 

 

 

NUMBER 8

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2009 – SCARLET KNIGHTS:   15-7

 

Notable Performers:  JASON BAY, Brian Wilson ALLEGEDLY for the latter half, Miguel Cabrera, Prince Fielder, Robinson Cano, Jorge Posada, Travis Hafner maybe?, Vernon Wells maybe?, Miguel Tejada maybe?, Dustin Pedroia for part of the season? Some other closers? I dunno how the fuck should I know…

 

Why They’re Number Eight:  PRE-COMPETITIVE ERA. Because while a 15-7 record is nothing to sneeze at, they played in the pre-competitive era free of minor league systems and excessive numbers of keepers and so on and so forth. Also their BCS victory came at the hands of a notable idiot with a 12-10 record, unlike the next 15-7 team on the list that defeated a fellow 15-7er to capture a crown. FUN FACT: I won the fantasy football championship this season thanks to a one CJ2K. So that is a fun fact.

 

 

NUMBER 7

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2010 – TOMS RIVER TAKEOVER:   15-7

 

Notable Performers:  CLAYTON KERSHAW I AM SURE, Roy Halladay and his NINE CGs I am sure, Justin Upton, Jon Lester, Juan Pierre?, injury-hampered Justin Morneau? injury-hampered J-ROLLLLLLLL, Dan Uggla?, Tim Hudson?, hopefully kept Kelly Johnson through the tough times cuz 2010 was his masterpiece?

 

Why They’re Number Seven:  SUPERIOR BCS MATCHUP. AGAIN this comes in the era of a bunch of shitty owners shitting around, BUT this particular 15-7 squad edges the previous due to a seemingly more challenging BCS matchup. No idea who really made up this roster (heavy speculation based on ’08 draft above), but I DO see they dropped a ridiculous 81 RBIs (still the all-time record) and 70 Runs on their poor Week 16 opponent. So I suspect they had some strong offensive players. Feel pretty confident in this guess.

 

 

 

NUMBER 6

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2016 – OCEANGATE TROUT FISHING CLUB:   11-7-2

 

Notable Performers:  Mike Trout, Kris Bryant, Anthony Rizzo, Mookie Betts, Todd Frazier, Trea Turner, Ian Desmond, Corey Seager, Jose Fernandez, Francisco Rodriguez

 

Why They’re Number SIX:  GENERAL ROSTER TALENT. This team had done such an excellent job of SQUANDERING their elite talent for years that I campaigned a few times for them to change their name to the LessWithMores, but in 2016 they finally got it done. They entered the playoffs as the #4 seed and advanced out of the first round via a tie with the #5 seed but BY GOD, they still got it done. Mostly unimpressive playoff performance aside. They got it done. Good for them. I rank them this highly simply because they got it done in THE COMPETITIVE ERA and also because their roster was good enough to likely beat pretty much any other team on this list (provided they weren’t MISMANAGED INTO THE GROUND).

 

 

 

NUMBER 5

 

2015 – RIVER CITY CUBAN MISSILES:   12-6-2

 

Notable Performers:  Anthony Rizzo, Jose Abreu, Manny Machado, Bryce Harper, Chris Davis, Jose Bautista, Jon Lester, Garrett Richards, Jacob DeGrom, Zach Britton

 

Why They’re Number Five:  POSTSEASON DOMINANCE. The interesting thing to ME here is I’ve been able to look at a few “roster summaries” here and this one appears to be one of the more unimpressive ones stats-wise (pitching especially) AND YET can’t deny this postseason performance. Not only did the Cuban Missiles grab the #1 seed, but they won their two playoff matchups by a combined score of 23-3-2. I dunno that feels like it may be some kind of record. The Missiles defeated team rmac 11-1-2 in the second round and the fresh on the scene Barnegat Banana Slugs 12-2 in the BCS, effectively steamrolling the competition in a way that needs to be acknowledged here. And it has been acknowledged. So now lets move on.

 

 

 

NUMBER 4

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2008 – RIVER CITY MASHERS:   19-3

 

Notable Performers:  I mean NO IDEA one might think, because I am blocked from accessing these old rosters. BUT, I can piece together the probable notable performers from a recap of the league’s first draft and so here they are – Jose Reyes, Carlos Beltran, David Wright ‘scuseeee me, Mark Teixeira, Adam Dunn, Jhonny Peralta, Raul Ibanez, Roy Oswalt, Brad Lidge

 

Why They’re Number Four:  HELLUVA RECORD. Truthfully this team may have earned the right to be higher (NOT MUCH HIGHER) but I just wasn’t involved back then and I just do not know what to tell you. But yea, 19-3 is a nice fucking record and a little league history blurb from the blog tells me they whomped Cliff in the BCS (11-2-1) after narrowly edging out Ryan’s “Tar Heels” in the second round (7-6-1 on a .3812 to .3810 OBP advantage) and good on them. Looks like a damn fine year. Way to go Mashers.

 

 

NUMBER 3

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2012 – TAMPA BAY TWO-TIME TWO-TIME (strange name):   11-9

 

Notable Performers:  FUCKING AARON HILL (everybody look up Aaron Hill’s 2012 please, he had two cycles that year, thank you), Edwin Encarnacion, Hanley Ramirez, Joe Mauer, Nick Swisher, Cole Hamels, an erratic Tim Lincecum, Craig Kimbrel, Kenley Jansen,David Robertson

 

Why They’re Number Three:  BECAUSE WE WENT BACK TO FUCKING BACK. Has yet to be repeated, is a very tough thing to do I believe time has told. Our second championship team merely flipped the record from our first championship team (from 9-11 to 11-9) but put together a solid postseason run and grabbed their second in a row AND THAT IS IMPRESSIVE. Allllll the years previous and alllll the years since that hasn’t been done (not counting our third in a row), so that needs to be rewarded with this particular ranking.

 

 

 

NUMBER 2

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2014 – PINE LAKE SWINGMEN:   16-3-1

 

Notable Performers:  Carlos Gomez, Paul Goldschmidt, Justin Upton, Adrian Gonzalez, Anthony Rendon,  Dee Gordon, Clayton Kershaw, Felix Hernandez, Sonny Gray, Greg Holland (team was fucking stacked though I should more or less list the whole offense)

 

Why They’re Number Two:  This team impressed the shit outta me because of their SUB 100 MOVE SEASON. Also the team was stacked and set multiple season records including Runs, HRs, and Strikeouts (Ks being an all time record to this very day). But back to the moves, maybe this wasn’t always the case but in the modern era here movement is life; all serious competitors routinely hit triple digits with their moves in-season. The Pine Lake Swingmen of 2014 only needed 98 moves to grab the #2 seed in the regular season (13-6 record, 3Peat Offendaz #1 at 14-7) and then march through the playoffs on the way to Ryan’s 2nd championship in five seasons. OF COURSE one will never know what might have happened if this team ran into the 3Peat Offendaz in the championship, as the 3PO lost to a 4 seed of questionable character in a strangely lazy 2nd round performance. The 3PO would have beat the #3 seed though, I think we all know that. ANYWAYS REALLY IMPRESSIVE YEAR BY THE 2014 PINE LAKE SWINGMEN, very nearly the most impressive of all time.

 

 

 

AND NUMBER 1, WHICH SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN IN DOUBT….

 

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2013 – TOMS RIVER 3PEAT OFFENDAZ (clearly named post-parade):   16-3-1

 

Notable Performers:  Edwin Encarnacion, Josh Donaldson, Hanley Ramirez, Brett Gardner, Matt Carpenter, Cole Hamels, Anibal Sanchez, Mariano Rivera, Craig Kimbrel, Aroldis Chapman

 

Why They’re Number One:  SEEMS PRETTY CLEAR TO ME. This is the first and probably the last 3peat team this league ever saw, it started off 2-3 before winning a remarkable 14 in a row, it defeated a 16-4 #2 seed Angels in the TROUTfield via a TIE in the BCS (also defeated the TROUTfield in both regular season meetings). In case there is strangely still any doubts about this as your top team o all time, they defeated the River City Mashers in the 2nd round THIRTEEN-ZERO-ONE. I could write a thousand words about this particular season but trying this new brevity thing.

 

 

 

 

So there you have it folks, no real surprise about the particular TEAM in the top spot but….

HAHA TOOK THAT STRAIGHT FROM THE LAST TROLL SERIES POST. But yea, shouldn’t be a surprise. Feel free to try and educate me about the teams from the years of softer competition because I am sure that would be a fun and educational GroupMe conversation for the league but yea. Really this whole thing was written just to point out how impressive that 3peat season was/how impressive that 98 move season of Ryan’s was. Mission. Accomplished.

 

 

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2018 TROLL SERIES VOLUME 2: FINALLY IT CAN BE DONE, THE DEFINITIVE TOP 10 BACKYARD CHAMPIONS OF ALL TIME