AT LONG LAST the 2019 season nears its conclusion, as we are actually on like DAY THREE of the BCS and it’s anyone’s chip to win. First I need to tell you how the two teams still standing got here. Let’s do that, using my own personal fave KEY CAT format (the cat key is so kewt)…
(ps if you think I’m covering the consolation bracket you have another thing coming bucko)
Ocean Gate Fishing Club Defeat What Were At The Time Known As The East Coast Kings – 7-5-2
MVP: Lucas Giolito – If Lucas Giolito is even a smidddddge less dominant in his lone start of the week perhaps it’s the Kings that move on to the BCS. But that isn’t what happened, Giolito dominated and the Kings lost. 9 IP, 0 ER, 12 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1 CG, 0.00 ERA
LVP:Brendan McKay – On the flip side of the young stud pitcher coin you have Mr. McKay who was NOT dominant, and only lasted 2 innings in his lone start. First time in the Bracket jitters, one surmises. 2 IP, 3 ER, 1 Ks, 13.50 ERA
Quality Starts. It isn’t too often that you see a QS matchup end 9-7, not in TODAY’S BASEBALL no sir. But that is what happened, in a week where both teams got on base at a pretty good clip and pitched WELL with the Fishing Club pitching well-er. Giolito had that dagger CG shutout, Shane Bieber (2 QS) continued being a lot better than I thought he was gonna be, and some guy named Brock Burke also contributed 2 QS of his own. The Kings got 2 QS apiece out of Kershaw and Strasburg, and pitched quite well overall, but ultimately that slight edge in QS pointed to slightly better numbers across the board for the Fishing Club staff. And because of that, they move on.
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: The Fishing Club had the most QS, most Ws, best ERA in Round 2…Jose Abreu had the most RBIs in the round (11)…The Kings had the best OBP in R2 by a pretty good margin, they also owned one of the two players in the whole damned round with 3 or more HRs (GleyberTorres, 3 HRs)… LOOK WHERE THAT GOT EM.…
Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz Defeat Point Loma X-Rayz – 9-5-0
MVP: Justin Verlander – Nobody really JUMPS off the page for their performances here (though there was plenty of decent performances) and I just think that a CG in a playoff matchup is super clutch, particularly if you’re the higher seed, and so fuck it I’m giving it to the other pitcher that threw a CG.9 IP, 2 ER, 11 Ks, 1 QS, 1 CG
LVP:Jon Lester – Gonna pin this one on Jon Lester because he’s still a Sawk to me. THANKS FOR NOTHIN’, JON LESTER. 4.1 IP, 6 ER, 2 Ks, 12.46 ERA
ERA. LIVE BY THE BULK DIE BY THE BULK. The X-Rayz are alway at the forefront of Backyard innovation and the bulk reliever strategy has served them well on many-a-week (it basically did its job of winning Ks and Ws in this week, tbh) BUT the dark side is sometimes your bulk relievers get lit up and sometimes your actual starters don’t pull their weight either and then boom you lose ERA 2.74 to 5.60. Truthfully the ERA is not entirely the fault of bulk relievers (the X-Rayz managed just 2 QS to the Sliderz’ 7) BUT guys like Jalen Beeks (9 ER in 10 IP), Austin Pruitt (6 ER in 5.2 IP), and Wade LeBlanc (4 ER in 4.1 IP) did the X-Rayz no favors. Conversely you have the BackdoorSliderz getting 2 QS out of Aaron Nola (oops) and a CG out of Justin Verlander and a gem out of deGrom (7 IP, 1 ER, 13 Ks) and so yea that team was the one that won. The X-Rayz needed near-perfect pitching to have a shot at the upset and they did not….get…..that. The ERA tells us so.
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: The X-Rayz tossed ONE HUNDRED NINETEEN innings utilizing 31 pitchers in this matchup (92 IP from 21 pitchers for Lacey Twp)….The X-Rayz also racked up 7 triples which feels excessive…Freddie Freeman had the most HRs in R2 (4), Juan Sotohad the most Rs (13)in Week 16…
BACKYARD CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES PREVIEW
AND SO IT IS FINALLY UPON US……once again……cuz this happens every year we have a league obviously….
#1 LACEY TWP BACKDOORSLIDERZ VS. #3 OCEAN GATE FISHING CLUB
I mean in a way WHAT IS TO REALLY PREVIEW HERE, it’s Cody Bellinger & Ronald Acuna Jr. vs. Mike Trout & Mookie Betts. But in another way, that’s not entirely accurate as these two teams sneakily finished 1-2 in overall ERA. So let’s try and touch on that as well. In the past I’ve done this corner by corner so let’s start with the CHALLENGERS to the throne, the Ocean Gate (sometimes Trout) Fishing Club. The OGFC finished with this season with the #3 seed, which certainly came in handy when they tied the #6 seed in the first round. They did so riding the bats of the guys I mentioned above but ALSO Josh Bell has 33 HRs and 104 RBIs right now and ALSO Jose Abreu was a smart deadline addition and ALSO Trea Turnerand that trio of Cubs sluggers are still here and ALSO Yordan Alvarez (21 HRs in 219 ABs, .420 OBP) has been on fucking fire. If there’s a team in the league that can challenge Lacey Twp in the Bats Dept., this is the team. And FORTUNATELY, for those rooting against back-to-back championships just on general principle (not sure who would do such a thing), this team isn’t built on bats alone. Gerrit Cole, Shane Bieber, Luis Castillo, & Lucas Giolito are all very good starting pitcher mens and Felipe Vazquez, Josh Hader, & Seth Lugo are good reliever mens. And the Fishing Club will need just about everyone I name-dropped and/or alluded to in this paragraph to be on their fucking game because uhhh, they’re challenging a team that’s lost once in 19 matchups (TO THE BEARS MIGHT I ADD).
And that team, is of course and unfortunately the top-seeded defending champeen Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz. The Sliderz have breezed through the entire season by pairing a feared group of youthful hitters with an equally impressive pitching staff, truly there’s been no real holes on this team all season (hence only losing once, to the Bears). Acuna Jr., Soto, Bellinger, Albies, Bregman those are all good players and that’s from the paragraph I wrote last season and OH they also have KestonHiuranow and Freddie Freeman is still here and still good and at this point it’s just a small blessing that Fernando Tatis Jr.is donezo for the seasono. Every time I write out these names I feel like apologizing to the rest of the league, so lets switch to pitching so I can just quickly apologize for Aaron Nola (overrated) and move on to the other guys. Verlander, deGrom, Greinke are all older or old-ish but very good, they also have Walker Buehler whom is very young but very good. Their bullpen is solid enough to where I don’t feel like mentioning them but ALSO I probably should because they had 7 Saves in Round 2 (I assume Roberto Osuna is to blame but fuck him). ANYWHO, this team lead the league in Runs and HRs and OBP I do believe and they also were basically top 5 across the board and that’s why they are at where they are at, which is one win away from back-to-back championships for the first time since 2013 (I think we all know whom that was but A REFRESHER IF NEEDED: https://backyardviewsblog.com/2016/08/31/the-history-of-the-league-2011-2013-special-dynasty-edition/).
Overall, it’s hard to argue that these two teams don’t deserve to be in the BCS because ON PAPER they have perhaps the two most impressive rosters and IN ACTUAL PERFORMANCE yanno……one team only lost once all year, the other grabbed the 3 seed (and they’re notorious underachievers). Fortunately this preview is being released while everything’s pretty much a toss-up, everyone feel free to take your sides now because EITHER WAY the league is saddled with another unfortunate champeen. Pick the lesser of two evils I guess? If you give a shit at all?
Well, this is a weird feeling. For the first time in the history of the league, yours truly the TWO time champeeen River City Bad Dude–Margs are not chasing another title run. I know the rest of the league is as broken up as I was about this fact, but in respect of the remaining playoff chasers, we will press on and give a QUICK review of this first round of the playoffs in the year of our lord 2019. Without further ado:
BYE Weeks: Lacey Twp backdoor Sliderzzzzzzzz(z), East Coast Kings
They both did a nice job managing (not managing) their rosters and setting themselves up for their respective weeks in Round 2. Good for them.
Lakehurst Leviathans defeat THE NEW LOOK River City Fightin’ Margs – 9-3-2
NOTES: Shane keeping Mike Fiers has paid immediate dividends, as his centerpiece for 2020 throw a 6 inning 5 earned GEM. This start further entrenches him in the Leviathans 2020 rotation (I assume). Anyways, nobody really gives a fuck about the consolation bracket, but its really fucking swell to see Bryce Harper hit dingerZ when they don’t actually matter. Both teams had solid OBP’s (Shout out to the 2019 OBP record for Shane this week BUT THE MEDIA ISN’T REPORTING THAT) and didn’t start the requisite 12 which is just fine for this situation.
Next Up: Honestly who cares.
Rojo’s Renegade Force defeats Barnegat Banana Slugs – 7-3-4
NOTES: I dunno. Aristides Aquino had a very nice week. The Renegades got some strong Japanese power with an Ohtani JROLL, as well as a lovely outing from Yu Darvish. One must think that this momentum will really push The Renegades into good form for next seas…………. Nevermind. Uh, moving on!
Next Up: Again, Nobody Cares
Pacific Beach X-Rayz Start lots of guys, defeat Island Beach Bears – 9-3-2
You just know you’re in for a long playoff week when you look at your opponent’s starting roster on a Monday and find 8(!) random pickups on for a doubleheader in Yankee Stadium. That’s not what you want, and for Sean’s Bears, the random beat-down continued throughout the entirety of the week. There’s no way to know if Sean actually paid attention this week, but if he did, he would have seen that the X-Rayz started 40 FORTY different batters! If I were Mikey T, I’d make some claim that this was DEFINITELY a record. I’m not sure if it was, but it was a record. Anyways, Jose Ramirez is good again, so he gets my MVP of the week award for this matchup. Also, it can’t feel good to see FORMER Bear, Domingo German tossing a 7-inning gem against his former team. Again, I’m not sure Sean noticed.
FOR THE BEARS, Max Munchy had a nice week, and the team sure got a lot of holds. Marcus Semien rung up a JROLL moral victory, and the Bears did not start 40 batters this week. That’s like all I got here. The real winner here are the Bears, as now their owner can paddle out to sea on his boogie board without having to worry about checking his roster. I think at the end of the day, both teams got what they wanted, and that’s really what this league is all about.
Next Up:Pacific Beach X-Rayz travel to the back woods of Lacey Township to face our defending champion. I expect too many wrestling comments.
Matchup of the Playoff Week, SPONSORED BY DICK’S SPORTING GOODS:
The Ocean Gate Trout Fishing ClubTIE and DEMORALIZEand END the SEASON of the Astoria Isotopes – 6-6-2
Wooooo boy. I mean, where to begin here. This matchup had EVERYTHING, and by everything, I mean that I really started following what was going on around 5:30 on Sunday night. But the drama was palpable heading into that 7pm Little League whatever the fuck that is that they do every year now. It honestly looked like the Fishing Club had this thing all done and dusted at the end of the day on Saturday, but low and behold the #Dopes decided to go out and have a fairly RIDICULOUS 6 homer 14 RBI Sunday afternoon (along with 2 holds and 2 saves) to take a 7-5 lead into this now historic 7pm game. Now, I didn’t watch the game, mainly because A-Rod is so terrible to listen to and he wears uncomfortably tight dress shirts, but the situation had the Topes getting into the semifinals if the score held. The OGFC needed a homer and a double from one of the Bell/Bryant/Rizzo trio, which in hindsight was entirely plausible.
The chat was FILLED with T comments saying, “I WANT THE CHAMP” and talking about his impending matchup with The BDSliderz. I remember thinking to myself “Just how much will I laugh if Bryant doubles, then Rizzo homers right behind him?” very early on in the game (while tracking on my phone, again A-Rod isn’t good). WELL GUYS you’ll never guess what happens in the 5th inning! Mitch Keller gives up a quick double to Kris Bryant, to prompt Mikey T to say something along the lines of “Uh Oh”. Now, we all knew what was coming next, which was inevitably the end of the Dopes I mean Topes season. Trying to rile up my good friend T, I said “Hey wouldn’t it be funny if Rizzo homered here?”. The chat BLEW UP. Rizzo had done it, something ALL TOO MANY have done off of Mitch Keller this season, but this one mattered. The Bryzzo combo had officially sent the hopes of Topes 2nd title crashing down in the Williamsport night. Many little leaguers were cheering. I assume T was not. Heroy was hungover and somewhat down about his victory. Nobody wins sometimes.
Let’s just give a big ole MVP to Bryzzo here for disemboweling the Topes on a late Sunday night.
Next Up: The OGFC head to the East Coast (?) to face the Kings, where there’s no doubt where Heroy will concede victory to R-mac about 15 times and proclaim that he doesn’t really care about this league anyways and wants it all to end.
OH YEAAAA FEELIN goooood here at the blog. Not so good that I actually want to write out a Week Review but good enough to write out a QUICK HITTAZ. Which honestly will likely offend the people that tried to HIJACK this blog even more. I suspect SOME PEOPLE find Quick Hitters offensive because of its brevity and to those people I say:
“Brevity is the brother of brilliance” — George Steinbrenner, allegedly, like at least once…
I also say fuck you, write a review yourself then you illiterate bastards. ON TO Week 17 Quick Hitters…
BUT FIRST, an important note on the tie-breaking procedures that will undoubtedly affect that whole Backyard Bracket thing that’s gonna start in another week….
Head to Head playoff tiebreakers:
Head to Head
Total Season Stats
Record Last 9 Games
Longest Win Streak
Most 10+ category win weeks
More than 2 team tiebreakers:
Head to Head (requires a complete sweep by one team)
Record Last 9 Games
Longest Win Streak
Most 10+ Category Win Weeks
What does all of that mean for The Backyard Bracket this year?! FUCK IF I KNOW, I thought about writing up detailed scenarios but that already seems really hard. Please refer to Mike’s crudely written charts as a starter course:
BBOTW: BackdoorSliderz (16 and ONE) over Bad Dudes (6-8-3) — 11-2-1
MVP: Walker Buehler (MVPOTW)
lvp: Wilson Contreras (3-16, 1 R, 1 RBI, .188 OBP)
WEEK 17 QUICK NOTES:
The Kings wrapped up the #2 seed in Week 17, and those fux in Lacey have had the #1 seed wrapped up since like early June, so we have our top two all set for the #BackyardBracket. #s 3 through 6 will be an ABSOLUTE MESS, but that mess will have sorted itself out by this time next week (hopefully).
The Isotopes stopped the bleeding in Week 17 with a much-needed win (previously had lost 4 in a row, previous to this previously had won 7 in a row, previous to the previous to the previous previously had lost their first 5 to start 2019) over the Renegade Force. With the victory they now find themselves poised to grab the #3 seed or the 4 or the 5 or the 6 or the 7.
The Bears lead the league in runs scored for the second week in a row, perhaps coinciding with Jose Altuve having two working legs perhaps coinciding with the team trolling their owner for declaring they couldn’t win out. They still might not win out, but probably need a W combined with a Renegade Force L to make the playoffs. They’ve already won though, when you really think about it.
The Banana Slugs managed to stave off formal elimination in Week 17 with a victory over the X-Rayz, both teams would be out if the playoffs started today (I think? I know for da Slugs) but THEY DON’T, so that’s fortunate for them and for the league as a whole. Need to sort this mess out.
UNFORTUNATELY that means there is one team that has been eliminated from #BYB contention and that team is the Lakehurst Leviathans, a blog favorite. Regardless of coming up short of their goal in the 2019 season the Leviathans can hold their heads hight for TWO (2) reasons: 1- They have more wins this season than their first two seasons combined, in a particularly brutal year within the Backyard. and 2- They called out ESPN in a tweet which netted us a potential free trial on Fantrax, or maybe it inspires ESPN to get their shit together, or maybe some combo of the two. Hats off to the 2019 Lakehurst Leviathans, look forward to seeing what they can do in 2020 (should the league exist, @Brian ;)).
WEEK 17 QUICK AWARDS / JROLLS
MVP OF THE WEEK:
WALKER BUEHLER (partly cuz he was last time so it saves me from finding a new GIF)
OUR LONG BACKYARDONAL NIGHTMARE IS OVER. A few weeks ago the Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz were some sort of undefeated unstoppable juggernaut (likely influenced by some wholly unsustainable BABIPs but I digress), their heel of an asshole of an owner had taken over the blog with promises of timely content and copious wrestling references, and things looked bleaked folks. Fast forward a few weeks and there has been very little content (FRAUD), and the BackdoorSliderz have finally tasted defeat in the 2019 Backyard season (FRAUD), and now I have returned to write about it in longform while also restoring Jimmy Rollins to his rightful JROLL throne. If you’re threatening an undefeated season culminating in a second straight championship we are forced to take you seriously because that THREATENS the 3PO greatest team of all time narrative. And that allows you a little leeway within the blogosphere. But now you’re just some fraud that’s got a first round bye that’s got to HOPE AND PRAY their team’s insanely good fortunes aren’t running out all at once at the worst possible time. Better to be .450 BABIPing in August and not April, folks. To be fair they also have insanely good players BUT you also have to yanno, HOPE AND PRAY those guys don’t slump or get injured. I see vulnerability in the Lacey’s beady little eyes…..
Oh yea there’s also some other matchups that happened, the X-Rayz finally bulk reliever’d their way to the Ks record, etc. etc. etc. all will be covered BUT FIRST…..
East Coast Kings Perhaps Permanently Pummel Playoff Plans Pertaining Towards The Barnegat Banana Slugs (Probably?) – 12-2-0
MVP: Nelson Cruz – Honestly I forgot the Kings even HAD Nelson Cruz (been kinda outta the review game for a minute) but LOVE IT LOVE HIM love the energy, he’s my second favorite Old Man Masher in baseball (see opening GIF for #1).12/29, 10 Rs, 1 2B, 7 HRs, 13 RBIs, .485 OBP
LVP:Yasiel Puig – Yasiel just didn’t contribute much stuff this week, and that’s about as much analysis as I intend to give here. On the Yasiel front. 4/21, 4 Rs, 2 2Bs, .292 OBP
JROLLs: Francisco Lindor (2, ECK)
HRs. The poor Banana Slugs likely mashed as hard as they’ve mashed all season (7th in HRs) but it still wasn’t enough against a locked in Kings squad, and they lost the HRs cat 25-17. That means 8 more runs for the Kings (the won Rs 60-48), at least 8 more and obviously more than 8 more RBIs for the Kings (they won RBIs 70-57), perhaps a slight OBP bump (the won OBP .363 to .357). Put it all together and you have two teams that had impressive offenses in Week 16 but yanno, one was more impressive. And so that one….won.
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: Haven’t talked pitching in a Kings matchup so let’s do that, shout out to a weirdly dominant streamed Steven MatzCG shutout for the Kings. Also shout out to the fact that mayyybe just maybe Trevor Bauer isn’t the super-established ace Trevor Bauer likely thinks he is. I consider him a super-established whiny little bitch, however…
What’s Next (Week 17): ECF v. LL (9-7 v. 6-10)
RRF@ AI (7-8-1 @ 7-9)
Pacific Beach X-Rayz Rack Up A Shit Ton Of Strikeouts, Also Do Other Things Well In Big Beatdown of Astoria Isotopes – 10-1-3
MVP: Jose Ramirez – JOSE RAMIREZ SIGHTING. The X-Rayz have turned around an ugly start to the season but Jose has mostly been an afterthought even during said turnaround. That is up until July; 9 HRs in a month that has seen the X-Rayz go 3-0. If J-Ram keeps it going into the #BackyardBracket this team can make noise folks.12/30, 7 Rs, 3 2Bs, 4 HRs, 9 RBIs, 2 SBs, .441 OBP
LVP:Mike Moustakas – More like Mike MOSTSUCKASS, AMIRITE? I hate that I’m dignifying that bad name joke, and also this was a real toss up between Mike and Khris (2/22, 2 RBIs), but ultimately we are going with Moustakas and with that shitty name joke and that is just how things are. 1/15, 1 R, .182 OBP
Strikeouts. In a week where the X-Rayz set a new and rather tough to top record in the Ks department, I guess I have to go with Ks here. Ever the Innovator Odom has really taken a shine to this whole “bulk reliever” craze because of course he has, but it’s worth noting the EFFECTS here. The ‘Topes rocked a 9.513 K per 9 in Week 16, better than the X-Rayz 9.217, but WHAT’S THAT MATTER when the latter team tosses 116.2 innings to your 84.2, THIRTY TWO MORE INNINGS THROWN on the Pacific Beach side. And that’s how you set a Ks record and win the cat 119-89, and that’s how you grab 11 wins, and usually there’s a risk of ERA ruin but the ‘Topes managed to suck more (X-Rayz won ERA 4.71 to 5.53), and that’s how you get your doors relatively blown off (also only hitting like 6 HRs doesn’t help) and get leapfrogged in the Backyard Bracket Standings.
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: Eight bulk relievers used by the X-Rayz in Week 16, not sure what his usual is but SEEMS LIKE A LOT… ‘Topes were league-worst in Wk 16 in Runs, HRs, RBIs and I guess that’s just what happens when Khris Davis is slumping HARD… Also a real rollercoaster of a season for Astoria, whom started out 0-5 then won 7 in a row and have now lost 4 in a row…
What’s Next (Week 17): PBX v. BBS (6-7-3 v. 5-10-1)
AIv. RRF (7-9 v. 7-8-1)
River City Bad Dudes Best A Super Invested Definitely Started Twelve Pitchers* Rojo’s Renegade Force Squad – 9-4-1
*one was an opener but beggars can’t be choosers
MVP: Miguel Sano – Miguel Sano is a fat turd (whoever had “turd” twice in Blog Bingo gets a prize) who strikes out too much and is probably a piece of shit, BUT he’s mashing taters this season and mashed some taters in Week 16 and I guess that’sa ll the MVP of the week part cares about. Nice tie-in to the River City Mashers hidden in this paragraph, FAN SERVICE for longtime Backyard fans. The Doch Blog never delivered this sort of stuff, or any sort of stuff really. A totally Weak and Low Energy blogger. ANYWHO YEA MIGUEL SANO. 9/27, 6 Rs, 4 HRs, 11 RBIs, .379 OBP
LVP:Masahiro Tanaka – I mean, FOR FUCKS SAKE Masahiro. You get LVP of the Week cuz I’m not sure I’ve seen that many runs given up in quite some time. And it was against the Red Sawks so SHAME ON HIM. 3.1 IP, 12 ER, 4 Ks, 32.40 ERA ***LVP OF THE WEEK***
Holds. You lost AT YOUR OWN GAME ROJO. The Bad Dudes won Holds 4-1and that isn’t necessarily why they won the MATCHUP (the .342 to .311 OBP disparity probably more damning) but it IS necessarily all I want to talk about here cuz this matchup bores me.
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: Renegade Force perhaps making league history as the first team to knowingly (I think) start an “opener,” THIS LEAGUE JUST GETS WACKIER AND WACKIER…
MVP: Didi Gregorius – Both Didi and JD Martinez did real work in Week 16 (pretend Judge is JD in the GIF above) but Didi did slightly better work and fuck the sawks and so on and so forth.11/26, 5 Rs, 4 2Bs, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 13 RBIs, .448 OBP
LVP:Francisco Mejia – On the opposite end of the spectrum, Mejia did the very opposite of work and contributed nothing but a few base hits and no wonder this goddamned owner always harrasses me about Gary Sanchez. 4/16, .294 OBP
JROLLs: Trea Turner (2, OGFC) ; Adam Eaton (1, LL)
Triples. This matchup was tiiiiiiiight all over the place man, but it’s always an unfortunate circumstance when your team musters more than one three-bagger and still loses the cat. And that was the case here so lets highlight Heroy sadness, two triples (AND ONE JROLL) out of the OGFC and they get bested by a Leviathans team that put up four despite the absence of Adalberto. Tough break kiddo. Other tough breaks include 1 “point” losses in SBs, QS, and Holds but this paragraph was about the triples so we are gonna STICK TO THE TRIPLES.
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: The Leviathans had 69 RBIs (nice.)… ALSO, with this victory the Leviathans have more wins in Year 3 than they had in Years 1 and 2 COMBINED (double nice.)(#TrustTheProcess)…
What’s Next (Week 17): LL @ ECK (6-10 @ 9-7)
OGFCv. IBB (8-7-1 v. 6-9-1)
2019 WEEK 16 BACKYARD BATTLE OF THE WEEK, SPONSORED BY THE 1985 CHICAGO BEARS’ WEEK 13 DEFEAT
Island Beach Bears Accomplish Everything They Needed To In 2019 Season, Slay The Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz Beast Fucking Finally (they are now allowed to go win the championship or whatever I guess*) – 7-6-1
*jkjk we root against any and all back-to-back chamPEEN challengers ’round here, fuck them I want ’em bounced in Round 2..
MVP: Edwin Encarnacion – Were there better performers in Week 16 both on the Bears and on other teams? I mean yea PROBABLY (definitely). But this was another performance in a long line of CLUTCH PLAYOFF PERFORMANCES (as far as I’m concerned I just won the playoffs) wherein Encarnacion, win or loss, gave us a heroic effort. In this case we needed doubles and he HEROICALLY contributed FIVE, 45% of his total heading into Week 16. Good. Man. 11/32, 6 Rs, 5 2Bs, 1 HR, 3 RBIs, .400 OBP ***MVP OF THE WEEK/PROBABLY YEAR***
LVP:Alex Bregman – Bad week outta Breggy and a quiet week outta a few other ButtSliderz Starz in Week 16, it’s almost like that’s how baseball is supposed to work as opposed to having EVERYTHING GO YOUR WAY ALL YEAR LONG. Suck it, turds. 1/17, 3 Rs, 1 2B, 1 RBI, .238 OBP
Bears Hitter Of Note: Jonathan Villarheard rumors of other owners BALKING at requested returns (probably justifiably so) when those owners came asking about himand so he went out and had himself a week on them basepaths (10/33, 9 Rs, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 5 RBIs, 5 SBs, .361 OBP).
Bears Pitcher Of Note: When you trade away all of your other good pitchers you’re left with one good pitcher and then that good pitcher likely ends up your pitcher “of note” in these winning situations, and his name is Mike Clevinger (14 IP, 4 ER, 14 Ks, 2 QS, 2 Ws, 2.57 ERA).
BackdoorSliderz Hitter Of Note: Lets all point at Cody Bellinger and laugh because he DIDN’T absolutely bludgeon me in Week 16 and perhaps he isn’t Barry Bonds, which would be nice for me and my trade psyche (he’s still really good and young and I regret that trade and that trade only)(I’ll still trade any mothafucka)(4/18, 4 Rs, 1 2B, 2 RBIs, .333 OBP).
BackdoorSliderz Pitcher Of Note: And just for FAIR and BALANCED reporting of the FACTS I’ll not do the thing where I try and single out a bad performance here… Robbie Ray had double digit Ks in back-to-back starts so good for him, STILL LOST LOSER (12 IP, 5 ER, 21 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 3.75 ERA).
How many words does one owe history? When will enough be written about our triumphs in WWII, about the moon landing, about the moments that DEFINED civilization? Can enough words ever be written? I posit that they cannot, which is why this blog will fail regardless of how long I write about one of the greatest regular season victories (if not THE greatest) in Backyard history (and I intend to write a buncha words and they won’t even be particularly interesting but THE WORD COUNT, oh the word count). Sure teams have gone on some runs, won some games in a row, even won some championships in a row 😉 . But has there ever been a team that remained undefeated this late into one of our regular seasons? No seriously I am asking. And IF SO, could that team have possibly been helmed by a more despicable owner than the one that currently presides over the Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz? This one I can answer myself: no, for that would be impossible.
Comeuppance has been a long time coming for this team, a talented unit to be fair but one that also has been hashtag BLESSED with some lucky bounces in its day. I think they beat the Banana Slugs in a week when they had like a .270-something OBP, I think Fernando Tatis Jr.and Keston Hiura have had UNSUSTAINABLE BABIPs to begin their respective careers, I think this had to happen the way it happened. At the hands of your fearless, really at this point less-than-part-time, blogger (and perhaps part-time lover) because only HE would then chronicle the great moment in glorious detail. And only HE, thanks to his own human failings, would be able to perfectly set up a Sunday Night Scenario that quite frankly I didn’t see enough applause for the in chat. Edwin Encarnacion is a BACKYARD TREASURE and he deserves your respect. Perhaps no player is more synonymous with their respective franchise, and obviously no player more perfectly epitomizes the GLORY DAYZ of back-to-back-to-back championships for this (once proud, now multiple times renamed) franchise, and now he has basically delivered a fourth championship. Feels like I’ve won the championship this season. You’re all free to keep playing and do the whole “Backyard Bracket” thing but yanno…..whatever.
There was a time when I planned to break down each day of this HISTORIC VICTORY FOR THE ISLAND BEACH BEARS, but holy shit that sounds exhausting and its difficult enough to piece together the play-by-play just from Sunday. So yea with that caveat in place lets now get fucking pumped up and lets fucking LETS BREAK DOWN THIS HISTORIC MATCHUP’S HISTORIC SUNDAY, SHALL WE?! FUCK YEA LETS:
DAY 7 (Sunday, 7.28.19 Anno Domini)
The Island Beach Bears enter day 7 of their battle WEARY and sensing defeat. Things were lookin’ kinda solid with the BackdoorSliderz offense scuffling, and then Saturday they uhh unscuffled. Categories as of Sunday AM were as follows (not because I think anyone wants to read this shit, but because I want to pump up this word count to up the obnoxious):
Runs – Bears lead 53 to 38
Doubles – Sliderz lead 14 to 12
Triples – Bears lead 2 to 0
HRs – Bears lead 11 to 9
RBIs – Sliderz lead 44 to 37
OBP – Sliderz comfortably ahead just take my word for it
SBs – Bears lead 7 to 4
Ks – Bears lead 80 to 69 (nice.)
QS – Bears lead 9 to 5
CGs – Bears haven’t had one all goddamned year, surprised the ButtSliderz didn’t grab one but yea this ended up 0-0
Ws – Tied 6 to 6
Saves – Sliderz lead 4 to 1
Holds – Bears lead 5 to 1
ERA – Sliderz lead like 2 something to 3 something
BEARS LEADING 7-5-2
This lead, this lead is a mirage and the Bears know it. For what you DON’T see up there, though certainly I had the room to note it, is the Bears have maxed out their starts by Sunday AM (and amassed a measly 80 Ks doing so) while the BackdoorSliderz would be trotting out four arms for the final day: Kyle Gibson, Robbie Ray, Walker Buehler, and AARON NOLA. The last arm is of obvious added significance, it’s an arm that already logged a start for the Bears earlier in the week and an arm they then traded away because dynasty is boring make some trades you pussies. It is also an arm that what was SUPPOSED TO BE starting only once in Week 16, was sort of important to me to avoid facing my sweet sweet Aaron in 2019. Alas he ended up getting bumped up to Sunday, and Lacey ownership did what Lacey ownership does best: paid lip service to sitting him as some sort of courtesy or signaling of their high moral fiber but MERELY A SIGNAL, they were never gonna sit him WERE THEY (Bears ownership wouldn’t have wanted that, but also was drinking at the time of the initial message so didn’t really offer that opinion clearly one way or the other, so could Doch have even KNOWN what I wanted? Has he ever known what anyone else ever wanted? Has he failed to please everyone in his life?)?! ANYWHOM, ultimately Nola got the nod and that was the right move I wouldn’t have wanted a bullet left in the chamber.
SO, and stay with me now, what we have at this point is the Bears BASICALLY expecting Ks and Ws to go to Lacey, with a possibility of them going 4-4 in QS and tying that up as well….. things seemed bleak to say the least. As I alluded, the BackdoorSliderz had already used a 16 run/4 double/5 HR/15 RBI/.460 OBP Saturday to overtake OBP and generally signal the end times for the Bears upset chances. Or so we thought :))))))))))))))) It would require a good amount of good Lacey pitchers pitching poorly for the Bears to retake the ERA lead, and we had already done everything in our power to try and grab more Ks or more Ws or whatever by signing a buncha shitty SP-eligible relievers and treating it like BCS Sunday. And so at this point Bears ownership was on the beach not paying much mind to these sorts of longshot hypotheticals, is what I’m saying.
FAST FORWARD to late afternoon and suddenly the BackdoorSliderz pitching staff has managed to blow the ERA lead by pitching jusssttttt poorly enough, suddenly the Bears are told they’re clinging to a 7-6-1advantage, and even more suddenly they must reckon with all of those fucking random SP relievers they brought in to try and grab additional pitching stats. Pretty quickly it was assumed by Bears ownership, QUITE CORRECTLY (because they’re actually super smart and stuff), that those shitty relievers were shitty for a reason and so they would fuck said Bears and return said ERA lead and the overall lead with it probably upon their first opportunity…. almost instantaneously Colin McHughdid just that. Around the same time just GENERAL LIFE LIVING, the sort of thing Rojo has tried to tell us all about from high atop the mountains, prevents Bears ownership (me) from subbing out a resting Nicholas Castellanosfor a not-resting Hunter Renfroe. By the time of this realization the DEFINITELY EXPECTED Luis Perdomo earned runs have also crossed the plate and we’ve officially written off ERA (evidently we shouldn’t have we only lost 3.90 to 3.86, I would have been haunted by Josh Tomlinif things broke poorly), now turning the attention to catching the evil LTBS RBIs and/or 2Bs while also defending a slim lead in HRs.
This is gripping stuff, one would imagine, if both owners were both scowling MLBTV and furiously refreshing computer screens to follow along. And in fact for the sake of this blog post we are going to say that Doch definitely was doing precisely that, in some sad little Lacey cave like the ones people used to pretend Bin Laden was hiding in. There’s some parallels there. At some point we know the LTBS closed the HR gap to one (thanks to Soto or Confortoor Santana or one of those fucks, but this isn’t their story) and at some other point we now know Marcus Semien and Danny Santana have homered to give the #DongsCat it’s final margin of victory for the Bears. Small margin, small total overall but it’s not the size that counts. So ALL GOOD ON THE HRs, hooray for the good guys. RBIs inched close (another size pun in here somewhere), some thanks due to Travis D’Arnaud for contributing 7 RBIs for the IBB while only bequeathing 2 RBIs for the LTBS (he’s filled in admirably for Gary Sanchez), but ultimately despite our best efforts bad things sometimes happen to good people and good things sometimes happen to bad people (see Doch’s 2018 season) and so we couldn’t close the gap there. And by “best efforts” I mean we couldn’t close the gap because Hunter Renfroe hit a grand slam on the fucking bench, with plenty of space for him in our not-being-used RF slot.
SO RBIs weren’t working out and its down to doubles to slay the beast. Ozzie Albies knocked the lone Sunday double for Lacey, the very excellent Danny Santana and Jonathan Villar and Travis D’Arnaud chipped in their own two-baggers for Island Beach (left out a “two-bagger” joke about Dorothy here), and by the time the dust had settled we arrived at a very unsatisfying 6-6-2 tie heading into Sunday Night Sawks-Yanks. This could not stand, however….
SUNDAY NIGHT SAWKS-YANKS (7.28.19 Anno Domini)
The Yankee-loathing Lacey outfit has no participants in the Sunday night game, the Bears have ❤ Edwin Encarnacion ❤ and Aaron Hicks. The Bears need one double or 4 RBIs to finally hand the BackdoorSliderz a much-needed loss in 2019, and the presence of Edwin in this equation has them quietly CONFIDENT….. so confident they are not watching the game one bit, and are going to Mellow Mushroom. I think I’m back from Mellow by the time Edwin evidently smokes a single in the top of the 5th…..
….that moves Hicks to 3rd and no farther, so yea running out of innings but WE ARE FINE EVERYTHING IS FINE. STILL. I think at this point I’m “watching a documentary” on PFAS, Edwin would not betray this organization.
In the 7th inning, we get what we need and by “we” I mean THE LEAGUE AS A WHOLE needed:
Encarnación doubled to left center, Hicks to third.
Print that out and smoke it folks, I’m giving you PITCH TYPE and everything here. I will also note the double was hit off of Bad Dudes RELIEVER PHENOM EXTRAORDINAIRE Darwinzon Hernandez.
Bears win 7-6-1
Bears win self-proclaimed “last week they give a shit about winning”
Undefeated season for the ButtSliderz is off the table, which is a bit of a relief I think we can all agree
Bears now have to keep giving a shit until formally eliminated from playoffs (TAKE NOTE ROJO), which isn’t a relief per se but is still FINE ITS FINE we can pay attention to a fantasy baseball league while still existing in the world (TAKE NOTE LOBMAN, OR MAYBE ROJO, I am forgetting the gripes at this point)….
The league is saved and you’re all fucking welcome
Look I know this one was a bit of a coin flip in several spots and we just have easily could have allowed the LTBS to escape with yet another win and they’re still the current favorites (though clearly I think we’ve exposed some kinks in the armor, not gonna tell anyone what they are it’s a big secret) for that OTHER champeenship still to be awarded. I know all these things. But I also know that this shit needed to end and so Edwin ended it, and so nobody ever ask me if he was available to trade for ever again. Notta one of youz. ANYWAYZ Week 17 has the Bears still in the bracket hunt weirdly enough, so they’re gonna head to Ocean Gate and try and beat those jackasses. And if they don’t at least they beat this jackass. This jackass and his ButtSliderz take on the River City Bad Dudes in our Backyard Battle Of The Week.
WEEK 11 RECAP BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE NEW AND IMPROVED BLOG ADMINISTRATION!!!
Week 11 is in the books and the Backyard Blog is getting a much-needed facelift. It is about time the people get what they want. For weeks people have been complaining about lazy writing and the journalistic integrity of the blog with all the biased writing that has been going on. By popular demand, our last blog editor has been fired and replaced by a reputable journalist who has experience in providing the type of writing this blog has been lacking.
Before we get to the Week 11 recap, we must address another issue with the blog. Many people around the league have been complaining about the name of the weekly recognition that goes to a hitter who fills every stat category. This has been called the J-Roll for years, but everyone knows that this name was just not any good for this recognition. This has been especially true considering the on-field issues that Jimmy Rollins has had, those issues mainly consist of him playing for the Phillies and being guilty by association of being half the double play tandem with Chase Utley for so many years. This blog holds itself in more respect now and will not be associated with a man who would make slides so dirty that they end a man’s career like Utley has in the past. Sorry Jimmy, I am sure you are a nice enough guy, but the prestigious stat filler recognition has a black eye because of your association with a guy like Utley.
So, without further ado.…. I present to you……
We are breaking down the walls here at the blog, so drink it in maaaaaaaaan. You know what happens to people who do not like the new name for those who get a run, RBI, double, triple, home run, and steal throughout the week? You know what happens to those who are not down with Jericho? THEY MAKE THE LIST!
Jericho is the perfect namesake for the new prestigious recognition. The Ayatollah of Rock-n-Rolla has accomplished so much in his life and is a role model to all. Jericho is recognized by many as the G.O.A.T. He was the first ever Undisputed WWF Champion, held the WCW World Championship twice, the World Heavyweight Championship three times, the Intercontinental Championship a record nine times, he’s a Tag Team Champion, United States Champion, WCW Cruiserweight Champion and World Television Champion. He is the man of 1,004 holds, a Triple Crown Champion and Grand Slam Champion. The Alpha has authored New York Times Bestseller books as well as have roles in legendary films such as MacGruber. He has had success wherever he goes including the music industry with his band Fozzy, who’s song Judas has reached as high as 7th on the US hard rock charts. This man truly is a jack of all trades and is the new gold standard of filling the stat sheet in a given week in the Backyard.
The Backyard is Jericho!
Now that we have the long overdue renaming to the Jericho out of the way, let’s get down to recapping Week 11.
The Pacific Beach X-Rays and River City Bad Dudes are kissing their sisters with another tie this week at a score of 6-6-2
This is the second time these teams have tied each other this season. This may a Backyard first, certainly the first time it has happened in the AD era. Pretty solid weeks all around from both teams except for ERAs. Odom had yet another 100 plus k week on the back of his bulkers. He throws a lot of volume out there with his no light day’s mentality. Sometimes ERA will suffer but no denying he racks up the counting stats. Also, Mallex Smith (2 home runs this week) is a power hitter now, maybe the greatest power hitter of our generation, only time will tell.
Shout out to my man David Dahl as he racked up a Jericho for the Bad Dudes (7 Runs, 1 2B, 1 3B, 1 HR, 8 RBI, 1 SB, .452 OBP)
MVP of this matchup could have easily gone to Manny Machado for the Bad Dudes (11 runs, 2 2Bs, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs, .500 OBP). Those 11 runs are impressive, but the Bad Dudes lost the run category 63-56. Losing that category plus losing the home run category by 1 dinger while Kingery had 1 more home run than Machado this week solidifies the MVP of the matchup for Kingery. Kingery sure is making the best of his time in centerfield for the Phillies with Herrera being out having his off-field issues. He was a stolen base shy of getting the ever-prestigious Jericho. Kingery will probably be dropped by Odom the next game he doesn’t start if he is still even on this team by the time of this writing. Who can keep up with Odom’s roster and his Rays Ways philosophy? A philosophy that is built on riding hot players and they picked a good time to ride with Kingery.
Ewin Diaz (XYZ) – 3 IP, 4 ER, 2 Ks, 1 SV, 12.00 ERA
There were players with much higher ERAs on both teams, but Edwin is LVP this week because Odom lost the saves category by 1 and Diaz blew a save for the Mets on Thursday. If that save isn’t blown, Odom wins the matchup instead of the tie. There might be people more deserving of the LVP award, but I am also a little bitter about that blown save myself. Edwin, get it together, because old man Cano stinks and you’re the prize of that trade.
XYZ (2-6-3) vs LTBS (11-0) *****MATCHUP OF THE WEEK*****
RCBD (3-5-3) vs T (6-5)
The Banana Slugs (3-7-1) outlast the Lakehurst Leviathans (4-7) 7-5-2
This was a close matchup with about 8 categories that could have easily swung in the opposite direction. Runs were separated by 1, RBI by 2, Steals by 1, and tied in doubles. I’m sure there was some Sunday anxieties being expressed in the chat that I may have missed. Brian was able to hold on though with his pitching leading the way winning the pitching categories 5-1-1. Some of the offensive categories really came down to the wire.
Trevor Bauer (BBS) – 16.2 IP, 1 ER, 14 Ks, 2 QS, 1 CG, 1 W, 0.54 ERA
This was one hell of a 2-start week for Trevor Bauer that the previous blog administrator may have ignored because of personal biases against Bauer. The Sunday CG shutout against the Tigers was a major factor in the victory for the Slugs this week, which is why he gets the MVP over guys like Scherzer, Story, or even the surprise Jericho from Trey Mancini
Leviathans Pitching Staff – they stunk
6.78 ERA is not very good for the week. That team down in Barnegat are known for their pitching over their hitting but they were not completely lights out this week when compared to their standards. Slugs only had a 4.50 ERA, which is very beatable in a given week, but they still won the pitching categories 5-1-1. Credit to the Slugs for their 90 Ks which will always be solid, but the Leviathans pitching needed to show up more and steal a category or 2 here to give themselves a chance. I’ll highlight the Sunday stream of Ariel Jurado who gave up 7 runs against the Reds in 3 innings without recording a single K.
Trey Mancini (LAKE)
BBS (3-7-1) vs BEARS (4-6-1)
LAKE (4-7) vs RRF (6-4-1)
Astoria Isotopes pitch slap Island Beach Bears 10-2-2
At one point on Sunday I am pretty sure I saw the Bears being shut out. This matchup was by far the most lopsided of the week. Isotopes stay the second hottest team in the league with their 6th straight victory after their 0-5 start. T told that Island Beach sweathog to keep the noise down while he took his robe off to show all the ladies what a real man is supposed to look like. I wish I could think of more Rick Rude quotes for T at this time, but that is going to have to do for now. Win again next week and you get some more Rick Rude love T.
Chuck was scorching hot this week and was a steal away from the Jericho. I’ll say he led the Topes to victory, but in all reality, T could have left Blackmon’s spot in his lineup open all week and still would have won with ease. Only runs would have flipped in the Bears favor without Blackmon in the lineup, while triples and home runs would have been tied. That just shows how much the Topes dominated the Bears this week. Shout out to the resurgent Hunter Pence as well. Don’t feel like going back and listing his stats but trust me when I say he was good this week and fantasy relevant again. Early leader for comeback player of the year.
Joc Pederson (IBB) – 0/15, 1 BB, .063 OBP
Ummmmm yea, ugly week for Joc. At least he made a nice catch, I think that was this week anyway but could have been last week. ‘Nuff said, moving on.
T (6-5) vs RCBD (3-5-3)
BEARS (4-6-1) vs BBS (3-7-1)
Rojo’s Renegade Force with the clean victory over Ocean Gate Fishing Club 6-3-5
The Renegade Force did not have to cheat to earn this victory. They also started 12 pitchers this week which is a nice change of pace for this squad. The Renegade force were led by their hitting as they received 4 out of their 6 category wins from the hitters on the squad. There were 3 Jericho’s in this matchup between Ohtani, Trea Turner, and Mookie Betts. I wonder if the Fishing Club watched the season finale of Wicked Tuna last night. If he didn’t, let’s just say I will be more then disappointed and be requesting he change his name yet again, because it stinks and Wicked Tuna rocks. The Fishing Club did get a combined 8 home runs out of the trio of rookies Alvarez, Senzel, and Jimenez. Something to watch out for moving forward as these guys all look legit. Brendan Rodgers on the other hand can’t buy any consistent playing time out in Colorado.
Did Eric Freaking Hosmer just have 12 RBI this week? I was about to give this honor to Ohtani for his Jericho, or to one of the 3 pitchers Rojo had that had themselves nice little 2 start weeks. But Hosmer gets it because a 12 RBI week is impressive for anyone. I’ll tell you guys what that was the quietest 12 RBI week I have ever seen. The San Diego first baseman only had 3 extra base hits and none of them left the yard. It was well documented in the chat the scoring that was going on in the San Diego and Colorado series, so perhaps I shouldn’t be so surprised. Hosmer is a man who I thought got overpaid by San Diego and a guy I thought should be bouncing around the waiver wire in fantasy circuits, but perhaps ROJO knows something I don’t. Either way, there is no denying his 12 RBIs were huge in the contest that was neck and neck in that category. 1 2
Not a good week for a guy who has been on the block for the Fishing Club. This Fishing Club narrowly lost out in runs and RBI this week and could have used anything from Meadows. This award could have also gone to Amed Rosario, who Heroy still insists is good and worth a roster spot when just about every Mets fan in the league (only 2 at this point) disagrees with that assessment. Nobody wants Rosario to be good more than me, but I am afraid he just isn’t. The Fishing Club offense is still very good even with the blackhole known as Rosario in the lineup every day. Oh, and uh yea back to LVP Meadows, you’ll bounce back I’m sure, no doubt you’re better than Rosario.
OGFC (5-5-1) vs ECK (6-5)
RRF (6-4-1) vs LAKE (4-7)
Fan favorite underdogs from Lacey put up another gritty win against the East Coast Kings 8-4-2
The good guys of the league from Lacey keep on trucking as they were able to overcome adversity once again for another victory, improving their record to 11-0. This makes 16 straight victories dating back to the infamous ROJO tie late last season. The man behind the team in Lacey does everything right and should be looked at as a role model to the rest of the league. A league that should aspire to be more like him when they grow up, even though he is the youngest member of the Backyard. He is charitable, humble, charismatic, handsome, and overall just a terrific guy. Women want him and men want to be him. The chat could not be happier that such an outstanding person keeps pulling out victories in the Backyard. But there’s more to life then the Backyard, and the chat wishes nothing but the best in life to that handsome devil down in Lacey. He deserves it for his hard work and dedication day in and day out.
Oh, yea there was a matchup here…. Huge performance by Ketel Marte and his 5-homer week for the Kings. Marte now has like 20 home runs or some shit which doesn’t seem right. Freeman keeps raking, Bellinger keeps hitting homers, Tatis Jr had a Jericho and Verlander keeps defying father time. Backdoor Sliderz were 2 RBIs away from the 60/60 club this week. The Kings were also impressive with their 64 runs, but fell a little short this week.
This one almost went to Tatis Jr with his 3 3Bs while picking up a Jericho, but the RBIs separated Albies from Tatis this week. Albies was a 3-bagger shy of a Jericho himself, which is often the stat that eludes the Jericho hopefuls out there. The Braves are one of the hottest teams in baseball currently, which is good for the Backdoor Sliderz who roster about a third of their lineup.
David Price (ECK) – 1.1 IP, 6 ER, 2 Ks, 40.50 ERA
Not a good start at home against Texas for Price. Paxton was also disappointing for the Kings this week, but nothing looks uglier than an ERA north of 40! Price still is pitching well this year with his 71 Ks and 3.52 ERA even after his horrific start. He’ll bounce back, if his elbow doesn’t flare up again, which seems to happen every year.
Tatis Jr (LTBS)
LTBS (11-0) vs XYZ (2-6-3) ****MATCHUP OF THE WEEK*****
Dochney’s matchups will stay matchup of the week until he is beaten.
ECK (6-5) vs OGFC (5-5-1)
And that’s all folks. Thanks for tuning in to check out the highly anticipated debut of the new blog administration. Unlike the old guard, we will be taking notes and suggestions from fans out there to continue improving the blog for everyone to enjoy. Hope you have enjoyed your read and good luck in your matchups.
YEA I DON’T really have much to say here. My team continues to be bad, there’s that OTHER TEAM that continues to be good, uhhhh everyone that won in 10 did so fairly breezily. Yea that’s all I got. It is called Quick Hitters people. ON TO Week 10 Quick Hitters…
WEEK 10 QUICK RESULTS:
BackdoorSliderz (TEN AND OH) 11-3-0 over Fishing Club (5-4-1)
Renegade Force (5-4-1) 10-2-2 over Banana Slugs (2-7-1)
X-Rayz (2-6-2) 10-3-1 over Bears (4-5-1)
Kings (6-4) 9-1-4 over Bad Dudes (3-5-2)
Isotopes (5-5) 11-2-1 over Leviathans (4-6)
WEEK 10 QUICK NOTES:
Pretty much alllll massacres in Week 10. The Kings were the only winners not to take double digit cats, and they weren’t exactly engaged in a nailbiter (9-4-1).
A NEW ALL-TIME RECORD for two-baggers set by the Fishing Club (32), but even with that fortune those schmucks couldn’t defeat that team that’s also defeated everyone else in the league thus far. A team The Blog officially Does Not Respect.
In other record news the X-Rayz tied the all-time Wins record whilst CLOBBERING me and my Bears. So that’s somethin’ to note. Shout out to Adrian Sampsonfor his 7 K CG, partly cuz I was told to and partly cuz he’s weirdly good all of a sudden? news, being halfway through the season also means our evil defending champeen
And SINCE I’m shouting out records shout out to the Banana Slugs for a truly abysmal offensive showing, a (possibly all time but possibly not but definitely in my eyes) record low .254 OBP. Gross stuff.
Also the ‘Topes have now won 5 straight after losing their first five so that’s uhhh QUITE THE TURNAROUND. There’s possibly another team with a stronger win streak but who really gives a fuck, about that…..or about ANYTHING, when you really think about it.
LIKE I SAID there may be some sort of more review-y review type format for Weeks 7-9 woven into June Power Rankings but in the mean time just want to keep the basic league results available. Call it QUICK NOTES call it BASIC RESULTS don’t even read it, I don’t give a shit. Just don’t want to lose track of the JROLLs tbh…
FUCK THIS WEEK MANNNNNN. Not only did I NOT un-undefeat the evil Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz, it also was just kinda a “meh” performance where we just generally did a little bit worse in all facets. Except for Doubles. A TRULY PATHETIC SIX DOUBLES.
In protest of the absolute bullshit that was Week 7’s results for my specific fantasy team, as well as in protest of ESPN’s epic-ally phoned-in performance this season….I am epic-ally phoning in this fucking review. And probably not even calling in for Week 8 or Week 9. EXPECT AN INTERESTING POWER RANKINGS beginning o’ June where I seek to combine 3 weeks of reviews into one June Power Rankings post in order to avoid yanno, reviewing this bullshit. Few quick news and notes prior to that:
Week 7 Very Basic Results:
LTBS (7-0, FUCK) over IBB (3-3-1),
LL (4-3, A NEW SEASON RECORD CONGRATS SHANE) over HEROY (4-3 and MERCIFULLY converted back to the OGTFC [never thought I would miss that name] after learning that fantasy baseball, as in life, is just random chaos your name means nothing)
‘Topes (2-5) over PBX (0-5-2)
ECK (4-3) over BBS (1-5-1)
RRF (4-3) over RCBD (3-3-1)
Week 7 MVP OF THE WEEK:
8/27, 7 Rs, 1 2B, 2 3Bs, 3 HRs, 10 RBIs, .321 OBP
Week 7 LVP OF THE WEEK:
0/11, 1 RBI, .083 OBP
Week 7 JROLLs:
Only ONE as these are a dying art, and that one came from:
WEEK SIX has come and gone. And I am FOCUSED AS LASER! Not on this review, I have no fucking desire to write this and I am actually planning on really just quarter-assing my way through it. But going to claim this is because this is DOCH WEEK, laser focused on Doch Week….but maybe it’s just cuz I don’t feel like writing this shit? But also CUZ THIS IS DOCH WEEK. Focused as laser!
If I defeat the dreaded BackdoorSliderz in the WEEK SEVEN BACKYARD BATTLE OF THE WEEK I promise I’ll write 5,000 words on it…..
River City Bad Dudes Roll Past Island Beach Bears, Who Were Obviously Just Looking Ahead To DOCH WEEK – 11-2-1
MVP: Kyle Gibson – Kyle Gibson above is me looking at my streaming luck of late. Look man absolutely NO ONE had an impressive week here, except for Andujar and the Bears starting staff and that was the “impressively bad” sort of impressive. So Bogaertswas okay (7 Rs, .379 OBP) but more importantly for the Dudes Kyle Gibson and whomever the fuck else they threw out there pitched pretty nicely. NOT THAT MUCH WAS REQUIRED OF THEM.6 IP, 1 ER, 11 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.50 ERA
LVP:Miguel Andujar – NAWT the finest of debuts for Miggy Andujar, I will say that much. Given the amount of ABs and the sheer nothingness done with them this may be your LVP of the YEAR. 1/27, .037 OBP ***LVP OF THE WEEK/PROBABLY YEAR***
PITCHING STUFF. This one was never as close as some of the #s may have implied it was (on the hitting side of thingz), and that is because the Bears pitching was ONCE AGAIN terrible (a MARK OF THE BEAST ERA, which leads to losses in other KEYCATS as one can probably infer). Credit to the Dudes for pitching pretty well, but yea nobody pitched worse than these assholes last week. I shall cut them all. I should also add the only thing sadder than the Bears starting pitching this season/this week was the way Lobman kept checking the fucking box score even though the matchup was in the bag PROBABLY since like Thursday but definitely before we even got to Citi Field. Just be PRESENT IN THE MOMENT, Mike. Especially if in that moment you are dancing on top of a ledge in a gay bar….
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: I should also add the only thing sadder than the Bears starting pitching this season/this week was the way Lobman kept checking the fucking box score even though the matchup was in the bag PROBABLY since like Thursday but definitely before we even got to Citi Field… Just be PRESENT IN THE MOMENT, Mike… Especially if in that moment you are dancing on top of a ledge in a gay bar… what else WHAT, ELSE… Uhh only two hitters per team with multi-HR weeks and by multi-HR I mean 2 HR (Alonso & Reyes for the Dudes, Encarnacion & Tim Anderson for the Bears)…
What’s Next (Week 7): RCBD v. RRF (3-2-1 v. 3-2-1)
IBB @ LTBS (3-2-1 @ 6-0, BBOTW)
Astoria Isotopes FINALLY Grab A Fucking Win, Unfortunately At The Expense Of The East Coast Kings Rather Than At The Expense Of Some Piece Of Shit’s Team (Like Lacey) – 8-6-0
MVP: Charlie Blackmon – If I wanted to just get this review done quickly (and I do) I would cop out here by saying Blackmon did his best Yelichimpression (half his hits for the week left the yard) and Yelich did his best Blackmon impression and that’s that. ‘Nado was also good but yea, gooder job by Charlie I guess. 8/20, 9 Rs, 1 2B, 4 HRs, 5 RBIs, .520 OBP
LVP:Miguel Cabrera – Nobody was particularly BAD for the Kings, and there was certainly worse Miggys during this particular week, but Miggy was just kinda MEH in a nice opportunity to avenge his own POORLY HANDLED release (no respect). 26/22, 1 R, 2 RBIs, .333 OBP
QS. It tends to be tricky to OUTCLASS the Kings in certain pitching cats, particularly on a week when they pitch to a 2.72 ERA, but the ‘Topes were able to do just that in escaping with a 7-6 QS victory. The Isotopes were no slouched with their hurlers (3.40 ERA, 95 Ks) but still only went 3-4 on the pitching cats, so yea. FLIP THIS ONE and you have a disgusting tie
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: This was the first time all season that the Kings lost with an ERA under 5, interestingly enough… This was also the first time all season that the Isotopes won, in case that wasn’t covered… The Kings had the lowest RBI output but highest SB output in Week 9, somewhat of a classic X-Rayz formula…
What’s Next (Week 7): ‘Topes @ PBX (1-5 @ 0-4-2)
ECK v. BBS (3-3 v. 1-4-1)
Heroy’s Weird Ode To My Brother Of A Team Wins Beats The Barnegat Banana Slugs, Somebody Cue Up A Losing Streak For This Idiot So He Adopts An Actual Team Name – 7-5-2
MVP: Kris Bryant – KRIS BRYANT. Still out here, let’s give him his first MVP of the week since like 2017 (probably) never mind forgot bout Springer. 8/25, 9 Rs, 1 3B, 4 HRs, 7 RBIs, .485 OBP
LVP:Christian Walker– “2019 Luke Voit” (I’m sure someone has said it) kinda followed Luke towards RELATIVE mediocrity in Week 6 (he did make his one XBH count I will give him that), which is a shame cuz the rest of the Slugs O was pretty toight. 3/22, 1 R, 1 3B, .269 OBP
OBP. This one likely stings a bit for the Slugs because on both sides of the ball they BASICALLY performed as well as they have all season. Yet they were matched up with an opponent that was performing just a bit better in enough categories. And that’s basically how you win or lose a week. ANYHOW this was exemplified best in OBP, where the Slugs would usually feel pretty good about their performance but were no match for a firing-on-all-cylinders uhh Heroy outfit (HEROY won .402-.351).
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: These were your top two Run totals in Week 6… Team Heroy was one of 4 teams in Week 6 to cross the 100K threshold (Bad Dudes, X-Rayz, BackdoorSliderz are your other 3)… Eugenio Suarezscored 10 Rs for the Slugs, which is NOTABLE I GUESS I dunno… phonin’ this one in remember…
What’s Next (Week 7): HEROY v. LL (4-2 v. 3-3)
BBS @ ECK (1-4-1 @ 3-3)
Pacific Beach X-Rayz Harness The Power Of Sharon Johnson To Tie The Pride Of Sharon Johnson’s Team, Rojo’s Renegade Force – 7-7-0
MVP: MOTHERS EVERYWHERE but specifically Sharon Johnson – ALLEGEDLY Mothers Day festivities are to blame for the Renegade Force being unable to get two extra starters (both of whom threw what would be matchup-winning QS) into their lineup. No word on what Sharon ordered or how that explains the other two starts the RRF failed to put forth (8/12 starts is only kewl if you win, kids). I respect both Mr. and Mrs. J too much to do something with the “stats” section here, as we all know I could…
LVP:Rojo– So tired of having to give this good friend and okay realtor LVP, and yet here it is happening for like the GOD KNOWS HOW MANY-eth time. Amateur effort. If it was against an opponent I actually enjoy seeing lose this would have been a longer paragraph. 1 Absent-minded Brunch (I’ll bet he didn’t pay)
QS. I’m honed in on the Mothers Day EXCUSE here but really the RRF only started EIGHT this week and starting any one of those extra 4 and having any one of them pitch a QS gets them a W (including the 2 QS thrown on Sunday by Ryuand Tanaka). What kinda MONSTER doesn’t set those 2 into his Sunday lineup like the day before or whatfuckingever?! Someone call Kevin Johnson (or Rachel <3) and see if he wants to take this outfit over. Anywhom the X-Rayz won QS 7-6 despite going a very pretty 0-2 in QS attempts on Sunday (Snell 5.2, 2 ER, 12 Ks Corbin Martin 5.1, 1 ER, 9 Ks), tie preserved.
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: Rojo your indifference here was both an inspiration (particularly when juxtaposed with some other owners) and a slap in the face of the very INSTITUTION of the Backyard and this carefully-crafted blog and it will be stamped out so help me god (jk I’m just speeding through this and didn’t know what else to write… ps George Springer (14/27, 10 Rs, 2 2Bs, 5 HRs, 10 RBIs, .563 OBP) was the actual ***MVP OF THE WEEK*** (maybe shared with Sharon)…
What’s Next (Week 7): PBX v. ‘Topes (0-4-2 v. 1-5)
RRF @ RCBD (3-2-1 @ 3-2-1)
2019 WEEK SIX BACKYARD BATTLE OF THE WEEK, SPONSORED BY THIS CLEVELAND ZOO BABY SLOTH BEAR NAMING CONTEST (that I feel is going somewhat poorly)
Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz Easily Beat Lakewood Leviathans But Were Also No Doubt Looking Ahead To HUGE Matchup With Island Beach Bears In Week 7 – 11-2-1
MVP: Justin Turner – YEA, for all their sexy youthful talent and all their bluster fucking Justin Turner. 9/21, 7 Rs, 1 2B, 4 HRs, 8 RBIs, .455 OBP
LVP:Carlos Santana – Carlos is usually an OBP STALWART so he let the fam down herecan’t be the same Robinson Cano the ‘Topes keep dangling in trade talks CAN IT?!?! 4/26, 1 R, 1 2B, 1 RBI, .214 OBP
BackdoorSliderz Hitter Of Note: You know you’re rolling the fuck along when fucking Justin Turner and Gregory Polancoare the ones pacing your offense in an easy victory of a week (9/20, 6 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 8 RBIs, .500 OBP).
BackdoorSliderz Pitcher Of Note: To further illustrate that point, behold Lacey Twp’s SECOND streamed Zach Eflin CG (9 IP, 0 ER, 7 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1 CG, 0.00 ERA).
Leviathans Hitter Of Note: The Leviathans may be backsliding a bit, perhaps falling into their old ways, but HEY at least Alex Gordon isn’t falling into his old ways (he tends to suck) he’s been a pretty solid hitter thus far (7/20, 3 Rs, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs, .381 OBP).
Isotopes Pitcher Of Note: This is just so I can make a mental note to myself to try and trade for Matt Boydhe’s been swell (6 IP, 1 ER, 6 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.50 ERA).
Who give a fuck what happened this week, WEEK SEVEN IS ALL THAT MATTERS.
In Week 7 the undefeated Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz will take on THE MAN THEY THREATENED TO PUNCH IN THE FACE, and his Island Beach Bears. In what will surely be (possibly be) the most chat participation you get out of me all season. As I must defend my honor and my right, as a ‘Murrican, to be “pretentious” and “passive-aggressive.” This was where I should have had a photoshopped image of Doch as Odor and me as Bautista but we can add that in w/ post edits once Brian gets around to it. The blog is big on post edits now.
Also Shane is playing someone I’m sure, that’s how this league works we all keep playing people until it’s over….
What’s Next (Week 7): LTBS v. IBB (6-0 v. 3-2-1, BBOTW)
LL@ HEROY (3-3 @ 4-2)
Week Six Review, HALF-ASSED by me so I can focus on defeating FRAUDNEY. Works enough for me.
Alrightttttt in the flow here now that I’ve shed another few layers from these fucking things, so let’s crank out another half-hearted review. That way I can eventually crank out Week 6 review. That way I can brainstorm a way to combine weeks 7-9. But lets not get ahead of ourselves. First this “review”….
Also the Astoria Isotopes will not be featured in the Week 6 BBOTW, rest my sweet prince…..
Rojo’s Renegade Force Steamroll A Hibernating Bears Squad – 8-3-3
MVP: Michael Chavis – I barely know who this dipshit is (jk I do), but fuck him. That’s the only intro he’s getting outta me.11/27, 8 Rs, 1 2B, 3 HRs, 8 RBIs, 1 SB, .500 OBP
LVP:Brandon Nimmo – Hoooooooooly shit I didn’t even realize how bad Nimmo was last week, or else I wouldn’t have had to debate him vs. Kepler this afternoon. Fuck Nimmo too, then. 0/18, 1 RBI, .182 OBP ***LVP OF THE WEEK***
ERA. The Bears pitched like a bag of dicks in managing a mere 2 QS for the 2nd time in the past 3 weeks (both of our uhh non-wins) but that is probably most succinctly expressed in the ERA matchup (RRF win 3.30 to 4.56). There’s some other blame I can throw around (mostly towards Dave Roberts), and I should probably be discussing the winner of the matchup more than the loser, but yea the loser in this case only had 2 QS and 69 Ks (nice).
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: This was the only matchup in Week 5 not to feature a Triple… The Bears had the week’s lowest K total, RRF were 2nd lowest…
What’s Next (Week 6): RRF v. PBX (3-2 v. 0-4-1)
IBBv. RCBD (3-1-1 @ 2-2-1)
Lakewood Leviathans Harness The Power Of Montezuma’s Mondesi’s Revenge, Defeat River City Bad Dudes – 8-5-1
MVP: Adalberto Mondesi – I was one of the many folks who called into question the underlying skillset of a one Adalberto Mondesi relative to his preseason ADP, and I DO still believe there is quite a floor here, but the view right about now is looking prettttty nice. He appears to be a better asset than the corpse of Carlos Martinez, I can declare that with some confidence. He’s also our early JROLL LEADA. 8/28, 6 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 1 HR, 8 RBIs, 3 SBs, .355 OBP, 1 JROLL ***MVP OF THE WEEK***
LVP:Rougned Odor – As impressive as Adalberto was in Week 5, Rougned was equally unimpressive. I don’t GIVE A DAMN SIR about your 3 run dong and your cute lil SB, you’re pretty much unrosterable in an OBP league and I shall continue to shout it from the heavens. 2/21, 2 Rs, 1 HR, 3 RBIs, 1 SB, .136 OBP
JROLLs: Adalberto Mondesi (2, LL)
QS. The Bad Dudes actually outclassed the Leviathans on the hitters side (won HRs 19-12, etc. etc.) but it was the solid pitching of Lakehurst that helped deliver them this dub. Take for example QS (LL takes it 7–3). Now ya got that kinda lead and you’re thinkin’ you’re also gonna get the ERA win, okay? And with that you’re hoping for Ws and Ks, okay? And so yea that’s what happened. …..they also won Holds. But QUALITY STARTS is the focus here.
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: The Bad Dudes were one of 3 teams in the Backyard to post a sub-.300 OBP in Week 5… Archie Bradley gave up 4 ER without recording an out for the Leviathans… to settle the score a bit, a Brad Peacockstart backfired horrendously for River City (3.2 IP, 7 ER, 2 Ks)… Marcus Stromanfailed to go 5 for the Jays/Bad Dudes for the 2nd time this season (3.1 IP, 4 ER, 3 Ks), he’s been otherwise rather sensational (2.20 ERA)…
What’s Next (Week 6): LL v. LTBS (3-2 v. 5-0, BBOTW)
RCBD @ IBB (2-2-1 @ 3-1-1)
East Coast Kings Klobber (Kinda But Not Really) The Pacific Beach X-Rayz – 8-5-1
MVP: Noah Syndergaard – It’s debatable whether or not Noah was the MOST crucial component to this King’s victory (as if I do these things super scientifically) but what ISN’T debatable is this: Throwing a CG shutout that you win 1-0, when the 1 is a dong you hit, is fucking badass and deserves to be recognized in these hallowed Matchup MVP chronicles. 9 IP, 0 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1 CG, 1 W, 0.00 ERA
LVP:Dee Gordon– “Speed don’t slump” but sometimes some of these speedy guys on the X-Rayz just sorta suck at hitting, yanno? Dee managed a steal but also sucked quite a bit. 4/20, 1 RBI, 1 SB, .200 OBP
JROLLs: Kelvin Gutierrez (1, PBX) (…..PS- WHO THE FUCK?!)
CG. Complete games are ALWAYS a key stat. ALWAYS I tell you. Cuz I mean you take this Syndergaard CG shutout away and replace it with ohhh I dunno Brad Peacock‘s Week 5 line and BOOM Odom wins or something. That’s a lot of jiggering around with stats but whatever, I said what I said.
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: I always find it FASCINATING when teams tie in traditionally non-tied cats and here our two combatants ended up knotted up @ 40 RBIs apiece, how bout them apples… Christian Yelichonly got 5 ABs this week due to a back injury so he was only able to hit 1 HR, thusly opening the door for a non-Yelich MVP in a Kings victory… DISASTROUS start for Blake Snellvs. KC (3 IP, 7 ER)… Forreal though whom in the fuck is Kelvin Guttierez?
What’s Next (Week 6): ECK @ ‘Topes (3-2 @ 0-5)
PBX @ RRF (0-4-1 @ 3-2)
Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz ABSOLUTELY STEAL A Victory From The Jaws Of Defeat, Break The Hearts Of The Barnegat Banana Slugs – 7-6-1
MVP: Alex Bregman – Bregman came within a few of matching the Slugs total HRs for the week, that sorta says more about the Slugs than it does about Alex but Alex is also rather sensational. Loved his work in the great Bauer v. Astros Twitter battle of 2018. 7/25, 6 Rs, 5 HRs, 10 RBIs, .357 OBP
LVP:Eddie Rosario– This, this was not Eddie’s best work. Which is a shame cuz I’m a fan. But he let us all down in Week 5. 2/23, 1 R, 1 RBI, .125 OBP
JROLLs:Whit Merrifield (2, BBS)
Strikeouts. OOF, this fucking tomfoolery here. The Slugs had Bauerand uhhh PaddackI think (?!) pushed back to Monday as I recall, but still entered Sunday in good shape to get a W and by the end of the day games they just needed 6 Ks between Quintana (Ks in previous 4: 2, 7, 7, 11)and Wainwright (Ks in previous 4: 5, 3, 3, 4). WELP they both had a “pitch to contact” fest and recorded 2 Ks apiece, LTBS ESCAPES with a K cat victory 80-79 and further escapes with an undefeated season still intact.
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: These were your two lowest team OBPs of the entire season, the team with the lowest OBP and also the lowest Runs total ends up getting the W… The Banana Slugs are first in the Backyard in Ks but got out-K’s 14-11on Sunday (2 Ks a piece from Quintanaand Wainwright) to absolutely choke it all away… In a week won by ONE K and ONE QS and also ONE W I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the solid totals from the two old fucks in the BackdoorSliderz rotation that had 2 starts apiece (Verlander 14 Ks 1 QS 1 W, Greinke 11 Ks 2 QS 1 W)… Vlad Watch: 2/18, 1 RBI, .238 OBP in Week 5…
Heroy’s Dumb Goddamned Team Sends The Astoria Isotopes Straight To Hell And Also To 0-5 – 9-5-0
MVP: Anthony Rizzo – Retroactively adding the proper stats in here TURNS OUT I PHONED THIS IN AS WELL. 7/18, 3 Rs, 1 2B, 3 HRs, 9 RBIs, 1 SB, .519 OBP
LVP:Robinson Cano – This can’t be the same Robinson Cano the ‘Topes keep dangling in trade talks CAN IT?!?! 2/18, 1 R, 1 2B, .158 OBP
Heroy’s Hitter Of Note: Michael Brantleycuz why not (10/22, 5 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs, .478 OBP).
Heroy’s Pitcher Of Note: Gerrit Cole cuz whoooo cares and also cuz he is v. good (7 IP, 0 ER, 11 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 0.00 ERA).
Isotopes Hitter Of Note: In a season of VERY FEW silver linings, at least Nolan Arenado has been starting to get the power stroke back after a slow start but yea still this isn’t really much of a silver lining *WORKS TWICE* (12/30, 7 Rs, 3 2Bs, 3 HRs, 7 RBIs, .419 OBP).
Isotopes Pitcher Of Note: In a season of VERY FEW silver linings, at least Chris Salehad a bit better of a week but yea still this isn’t really much of a silver lining *WORKS TWICE* (6 IP, 0 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 0.00 ERA).
ET TU, GREGGERS?! When the dust settles on the 2019 regular season and the Astoria Isotopes are (probably) watching the Backyard Bracket from home, we must all remember it was Team Heroy that sent them to a seemingly daunting 0-5. And I don’t FEEL LIKE it was particularly close, I didn’t pay a tremendous amount of attention to the chat this weekend but I don’t FEEL LIKE anyone was talking about the ‘Topes avoiding 0-5. Everyone was probably just talking about how the ‘Topes were about to be 0-5. And their PISS POOR PITCHING was to blame (there’s some sort of symbolism to Dallas Keucheljust hanging out there all useless). Cuz on the hitting side the ‘Topes had some pretty stats I gotta say (53 Rs, 25 2Bs, .376 OBP), all three of those were good enough to win their respective #cats and they also took HRs 13-12. So an overall 4-3advantage on hitting alone. But Team Greggers threw up a pretty pretty pitching line: 100 Ks, 8 QS, 1 CG, 7 Ws, 6 Saves, 2.45 ERA. Won every damn one of those cats, didn’t get any Holds but DIDN’T NEED THEM. Kyle Hendricksprovided an efficient CG, Gerrit Cole & Shane Bieber & Tyler Glasnow each had dominant starts, and hey all of a sudden the Fightin’ Greggers look like they have a great pitching staff. Team ‘Topes, on the other hand, has Keuchel sitting there collecting dust. And they ended up with a 4.85 team ERA. And they had to watch Cole Hamelshave a nice 5 IP 7 K start for their opponent. Insult to injury I tell you.
Week 6 has Heroy and his frustrating team name taking on the STABLEST team name in all of the Backyard (and perhaps the least stable chatter), Brian & his Barnegat Banana Slugs. That one could get interesting in the chat folks, TUNE IN (I won’t). As for last year’s runner-up, they are running-out of fuckin’ time here. 0-5 and hosting a TOUGH East Coast Kings squad in what feels like a must win just in the sense that you wanna win eventually (not sure there is must wins in May). Good fuckin’ luck to them, but I’m tired of covering their ineptitude in the BBOTW so we are switching up to covering Doch’s quest for perfection. See ya there.