TRAAAAAAAADE REVIEW: I HATE THESE BUT ONE OF THESE TRADES DESERVES A TALKING TO, EDITION

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Firstly let me just say that the more annoying trades are made the more I absolutely haaaaaaaate trade review, so it may get paired down to like a monthly roundup with a little less talky talky in the future. Frankly it hurts my brain to think about some of these trades that get fired out of a cannon and into the chat and I have spent long sleepless nights pondering what sorts of hideous negotiations might lead to them. The Trade Deadline will likely get hot and heavy and become a good time to bust out some new format but FOR NOW, let us use the old format one last time and yell at Q-Tip City in an effort to get them to stop trading for AT LEAST a few weeks. For the love of god. Brian step in here……

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THE FIRST TRADE (6/16):

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JF16 traded A.J. Pollock*, Ari CF to RCBD
JF16 traded Franklin Barreto, Oak SS to RCBD
RCBD traded Michael Brantley*, Cle LF to JF16
RCBD traded Amed Rosario, NYM SS to JF16

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THE TROUT FISHING CLUB RETURN:

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RF Michael Brantley – 30 year old Indians LF whom wrecked his shoulder which derailed his 2016 and now he is on the comeback trail a wee bit but still injury prone. That’s who THIS guy is. .360 OBP, 13 2Bs, 5 HRs, 24 Rs, 28 RBIs, 7 SBs in 206 ABs thus far this season. All in all PRETTY SUCCESSFUL COMEBACK after injuries limited him to a mere 11 games in 2016. At one time was a dynamic 20-20 threat, that maybe has knocked down to 15-15 (and indeed he went 15-15 in 2015 LOTTA 15s) if he can stay healthy but the IF is always a bit of a big IF. Shades of Grady Sizemore there. (well at the time that I got around to writing this part or whatever). Same number of HRs in about 30 more ABs last season and that was the most ABs he ever had so it is just a matter of WHERE THINGS GO FROM HERE. Compounding the ABs problem is a somewhat crowded Brewers OF once Ryan Braun returns from injury. But hey Domingo has slightly improved his BB% and his K% and that is more than SOME OTHER BREWERS OFs can say so who knows where he goes from here. Whom. Knows.

So yea he is currently on the DL with a fucking sprained ankle (been there my mannn) but I don’t think that will linger too long but also you never know with this guy…

Low Minors SS Amed Rosario – 21.6 year old BIG TIME PROSPECT but you never really know how much the NY media or the Mets fans in the groupchat inflate that fact now do you. Seemingly pretty good though and definitely the Mets top prospect (#8 overall BA, #3 MLB.com, #8 BP). Bat looks legit which is a concern I have previously voiced over SS prospect types, but yes take a look:  .368 OBP, 15 2Bs, 4 3Bs, 7 HRs, 42 Rs, 48 RBIs, 12 SBs in 286 AAA ABs this season, his first taste of AAA. DEFINITELY the guy that someone might most regret parting with in this particular deal. Should have already been up for the Mets but is not up and who knows when they may or may not do it, probably waiting for the exact moment when their fans are most sick of their shit to do it as a desperation move. Could be really really good, CURIOUS PACKAGE to part with him for.  Major League Comparison: Carlos Correa yeaaaaa I said it…..

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THE BAD DUDES RETURN:

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I like JUST discussed this AJ Pollock fucker so let’s just copy and paste that shit:

“CF AJ Pollock – 29.5 year old CF for the DBacks, has been both overrated and underrated a hundred different times by now.  .337 OBP, 12 2Bs, 3 3Bs, 2 HRs, 26 Rs, 11 RBIs, 11 SBs in 154 ABs thus far this season. He was never going to be the 20 HR threat that a lot of FOOLS thought he would be after he popped 20 in 2015, that was an outlier season and his cap is probably the mid teens on a good year. Hits way too many grounders to have power numbers, at about 50% this year. BUT a very good base stealer and can score a lot of runs and can probably end up with enough extra base hits in that home stadium to be a realllll fantasy asset, so long as he can stay healthy. That has been tricky throughout his career.”

So yea he is currently on the DL with some combo of groin issues or quad tightness and yea this always happens with him….

Low Minors SS Franklin Barreto  –  21.25 year old SS prospect for the Athletics andddd I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT BARRETTO AGAIN. Let’s see what I wrote before:

Franklin Barreto.  Barreto is the A’s best prospect according to BA (#40 overall, #52 MLB.com) and is also according to what IIIIIII have heard, more of a future CF than a future middle infielder.  Which changes things in fantasy now does it.  Barreto hit 10 dingers and swiped 30 bags across 462 AA ABs last season, numbers that would play at CF if that is where his eventual future lies.  The speed is for real but, as with most prospects, how the hitting progresses through the higher levels remains to be seen (he did go 6 for 18 with a triple and a homer in 4 AAA games last year so credit for that I guess).

CURRENTLY he sports this line across 64 AAA games:  .311 OBP, 10 2Bs, 4 3Bs, 8 HRs, 35 Rs, 32 RBIs, 3 SBs in 270 ABs. Decent pop outta Franklin but is also striking out 30% of the time in AAA which isn’t ideal. CERTAINLY not a prospect on the level of Amed Rosario, that is certainly not the case. Major League Comparison:  Rafael Furcal is the alleged throwback comparison I have seen, so for modern day players he getttts Elvis Andrus.  

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As you can probably tell from my tone I feel Amed Rosario was given up a bit tooooo easily in this particular deal. Brantley and Pollock have basically been the same person at different times and are both oft-injured and Brantley arguably plays the more scarce position, so yea I am going to have to side with THE OCEANGATE TROUT FISHING CLUB on this one in terms of whom I think got the better end of the deal. Rosario might be a stud in the very very near future and fucking Lobman just up and gives him to the team stocked with studs….THANKS

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THE SECOND TRADE (6/20):

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WOOD traded Kyle Seager, Sea 3B to rmac
rmac traded Carson Fulmer, CWS SP to WOOD

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AND ALSO SOME DUMB DRAFT PICKS. I couldn’t care less about those draft picks so I won’t even look ’em up.

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THE TITANS RETURN:

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3B Kyle Seager  –  29.6 year old 3B for the Mariners, a BELOVED FRANCHISE for the Titans some say. And Seager is a pretty good player to boot:  .330 OBP, 16 2Bs, 1 3B, 7 HRs, 27 Rs, 41 RBIs, 1 SB in 262 ABs thus far this season. Nothing reallllly to sneeze at there, he is not quite at his HR pace from last season (30 HRs in 2016) but that kinda seems to be a function of some bad luck more than anything. All of the numbers seem in line and he is currently 8th among 3B types in RBIs with lots o’ room for HR improvement in the second half. A NICE LITTLE PLAYER. Not the kind you want to necessarily just up and trade for a shitty High Minors starter, is I guess the bush I am beating around.

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THE MORNING WOOD RETURN:

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THIS FUCKING GUY BELOW THAT I HAVE ALREADY WRITTEN ABOUT:

“[High Minors] SP Carson Fulmer – 23 year old RHP prospect for the Chicago White Sox, the 8th overall pick in the 2015 Amateur Draft.  Got rocked over the course of 11.2 major league relief innings last season (8.49 ERA, 5.98 FIP) but did okay in 4 AAA starts (3.17 FIP) but did less okay in 17 AA starts (4.17 FIP).  Control issues have some believing he will never throw enough strikes to start/will end up in a high-leverage bullpen role.  Since this is my first prospect of the new streamlined trade analysis I am excited to compare him to a major leaguer, and that major leaguer isssssss:  Tony Cingrani .  I see a future reliever. ”

TONY CINGRANI AT BEST. Current AAA numbers for Fulmer are as follows:  6-3, 4.41 ERA (5.62 FIP), 46 Ks in 67.1 IP (6.15 K/9). He also walks 4 batters per 9 which ain’t great. He also, again, is a high minors guy. So you are holding this man in a high minors spot…..

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LOOK QTC YOU ARE STARTING TO PUSH YOUR FUCKING LUCK HERE. So yes I side with the TOMS RIVER TITANS here. If you wanna trade folks fine, but we are starting to seriously strain the veto system here when you are just giving away guys that were being drafted as a top 5 3B before the season for Carson fucking Fulmer. Sure Kyle Seager isn’t on the same pace he was on last season but he has not regressed to the level where he is an acceptable 1 for 1 swap for Carson fucking Fulmer, and again no I don’t care about those draft picks. These drafts are prettttty new additions to the league so perhaps we haven’t quite established a value for what the picks are worth but I don’t think they are worth whatever they would need to be for this one not to look pretttttty bad for Q-Tip City. Again FULMER IS A HIGH MINORS GUY AND HE IS NOT GOOD. And this now makes a couple suspect deals in a row and let’s just clean this shit up, I would rather see guys outright dropped then sent to teams for trash at leasttttt in the FA pool there is a waiver system to help avoid shady practices. Let’s be better than this going forward, Bonerz.

TRAAAAAAAADE REVIEW: I HATE THESE BUT ONE OF THESE TRADES DESERVES A TALKING TO, EDITION

2017 WEEK 11 REVIEW: OFFENSIVE CARNAGE EDITION

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WEEK 11 SAW A REALLLLLLL POWER BOON IN THE BACKYARD (AND AT LEAST ONE JROLL!) AS THREE TEAMS RACKED UP 20+ HOME RUNS, WHICH PROBABLY HASN’T HAPPENED SINCE BACK WHEN EVERYONE WAS ON STEROIDS? I DUNNO FEELS RARE FOR THE BACKYARD. PERHAPS ON A RELATED NOTE, MOST TEAMS ERAS WERE HORRIBLE. PERHAPS ON AN UNRELATED BUT IMPORTANT TO WATCH NOTE, THE FRANCHISES BELONGING TO THE FORMER CO-OWNERS OF THAT DYNASTY I ALWAYS TALK ABOUT ARE RED FUCKING HOT. OR AT LEAST WHAT PASSES FOR RED HOT IN THIS PARTICULARLY TIGHT PLAYOFF RACE OF A SEASON. IN A RELATED NOTE, WE ARE NEARLY TWO THIRDS THROUGH THE REGULAR SEASON. BUT WHATEVER LET’S LOOK AT WEEK 11 FIRST…..

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Point Loma X-Rayz DOMINATE The Toms River Titans And They Wanted Me To Point Out Here That Point Loma Is A Nicer Place Than Toms River But Get The Fuck Over Yourselves Most Places Are A Nicer Place Than Toms River We Get It  –  12-2-0

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MVP:  Jose Ramirez  –  Hooooo boy did Jose Ramirez have himself a fucking week, something he shares in common with several other X-Rayz teammates. But Jose had the best week of em all, I think, based off a cursory glance here and based off his 11 XBH. Plus that’s a lovely t-shirt.  16/31, 9 Rs, EIGHT 2Bs, 3 HRs, 7 RBIs, 1 SB, .545 OBP      ***MVP OF THE WEEK***     

LVP:  JT Realmuto    On the opposite end of the spectrum you have JT Realmuto and his 1 XBH and his overall DISAPPOINTING week. Was he a “Hitter of Note” last week or something? I feel like this is becoming a thing where I write a guys name for a good thing one week and then the next week they end up sucking. A CURSE. A curse of small sample size variations.  3/17, 1 R, 1 2B, 1 RBI, .222 OBP     

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X-Rayz Hitter Of Note:  Quite frankly there were lots of them because the X-Rayz offense had themselves a week like they probably haven’t seen in years, at least in the dinger department, but let’s highlight Lorenzo Cain who continues to perform with a certain “fuck you Mikey T” chip on his shoulder (11/24, 8 Rs, 1 2B, 4 HRs, 6 RBIs, 2 SBs, .519 OBP).

X-Rayz Pitcher Of Note:  And then there is Jason Vargas, who continues to perform which is just weird enough on his own THE GUY HAS 10 WINS ALREADY ON A PRETTY BAD TEAM AND SHIT (13 IP, 4 ER, 9 Ks, 2 QS, 2 Ws, 2.77 ERA).

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Titans Hitter Of Note:  Carlos Correa had a decent week but heeee was nearly the only one, which isn’t ideal (9/23, 5 Rs, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 3 RBIs, .462 OBP).

Titans Pitcher Of Note:  Stephen Strasburg failed to turn in a QS in either of his 2 starts last week and the Titans should panic and look to trade him to a willing suitor immediately (10.1 IP, 8 ER, 15 Ks, 1 W, 6.97 ERA).

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XRAYZ OFFENSE XPLOSION here gentlemen, as our pals from Point Loma set the Runs record (and handily won that cat 64-39) and tied the Doubles record (and handily won that cat 25-15) for the 2017 season. Matchups with the TR Titans often focus on the pitching side of things but what this one realllllly comes down to is one team having having arguably the strongest offensive showing of the week while the other team had arguably the weakest offensive showing of the week. THAT IS GENERALLY NOT GOING TO GO WELL FOR THE WEAK OFFENSIVE SHOWING TEAM. And that is precisely what happened here, as the Titans conceded all 7 offensive cats to the the X-Rayz on their way to a blowout L. To add insult to injury the pitching staff was all sort of fucked up for TR as well, pitching to 7 Wins (X-Rayz would win the cat 8-7) and 1 CG (one of the two cats the Titans won, the other being Holds [also won with 1]) but also putting up a 6.411 ERA. But enough about what the Titans failed to do, let’s look at what the X-Rayz managed to do:  nothing short of their FINEST power week probably of all time, as one of the THREE TEAMS that cleared 20+ HRs in Week 11 (21 for the X-Rayz, tied for 2nd most in the week). The X-Rayz also pitched to a solid 3.857 ERA in a week where most teams struggled to keep it under 5 let alone 4, and all around just an all around impressive performance from Point Loma. Which is what you want to see when you are winning your 4th straight matchup, STILL TRENDING UP. The Point Loma X-Rayz will look to continue trending up when they seek their FIFTH STRAIGHT win in Week 12, the Toms River Titans will look to avoid dropping their third straight as there is getting to be fewer and fewer weeks remaining for those teams looking to make a push into the playoffs. CLEARLY. Cuz that’s how this thing works.

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Next Week aka This Week:  X-Rayz v. Isotopes (An IMPORTANT battle for playoff positioning kinda, because I guess we will start seeing those sorts of battles at this juncture), Titans v. Renegade Force (An IMPORTANT battle because I may just declare the loser out of the playoff race in next week’s review and advise them to sell all their aging stars and start planning for 2018) 

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Astoria Isotopes Continue To Slug Their Way To Victories, This One’s Over The Slugs  –  10-3-1

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MVP:  Cody Bellinger  –  Cody Bellinger is slugggggggggin, MAN is he sluggin’ to start his MLB career here. And MAN am I annoyed that he is doing it for the Isotopes. I have half a mind to offer Arenado for him just to end this madness.  9/27, 7 Rs, 3 2Bs, 4 HRs, 8 RBIs, .400 OBP    

LVP:  Josh Donaldson    WEIRDLY EMPTY stat line for JDon, which I don’t think I’ve ever seen out of him. But here it is, a whole lot of NOTHIN but 4 singles and 3 walks.  4/18, .333 OBP     ***LVP OF THE WEEK***     

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Isotopes Hitter Of Note:  This has been like our usual “let’s check in on Aaron Judge” segment so YEA let’s check in on that guy (7/27, 6 Rs, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs, 1 SB, .412 OBP).

Isotopes Pitcher Of Note:  Wanted to take the ‘Topes down a peg by checking in on someone that did terrible here but aside from Melancon allowed that Arenado cycle nobody looked allll that bad, so fine look Jose Berrios had a nice start too YAY YOUTHFUL ISOTOPES (8 IP, 2 ER, 6 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 2.25 ERA).

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Slugs Hitter Of Note:  In the good news for the Barnegat Banana Slugs Dept. uhhh I guess Jonathon Schoop is having an okay year (9/25, 8 Rs, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 7 RBIs, .433 OBP).

Was Trevor Story Better Than Aledmys Diaz This Week?:  WHO CARES I dropped Aledmys, partly just to put an end to this madness. 

Slugs Pitcher Of Note:  And nowwww it is my distinct pleasure to announce that Rick Porcello sucked last week and has sucked and/or been unlucky for most of the year let’s go with sucked fuck him (12 IP, 12 ER, 7 Ks, 9.00 ERA).

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These DAMNED ‘Topes and their DAMNED youthful contributions. What can really be said here Judge continues to do Judge things and Bellinger is developing into a realllll monster and there is just EXCITEMENT IN THE AIR in Astoria. Like in the matchup discussed above, the Isotopes did themselves a real solid by going out and sweeping the offensive cats in their Week 11 matchup, not necessarily surprising for a team near the top of most offensive categories taking on a team near the bottom but STILL small sample size yada yada yada clearly Barnegat would have liked to grab an offensive cat or two here. They grabbed none, and they pitched to a league-worst 6.868 ERA (the ‘Topes pitched to a league-second-best 3.687) which didn’t help the QS and Wins categories none and so Astoria took those cats as well. ALOTTA CATS went to Astoria, is what I am saying, cuz they won. Mediocre bullpen work on their part did, however, allow the Barnegat Banana Slugs to win both Saves (2-1) and Holds (4-2) but yanno whatever it happens. This victory gave the Isotopes the Season Series Sweep over the Banana Slugs and allowed them to leapfrog them in the standings, with the Isotopes currently in place as the #5 seed and the Banana Slugs dropping down to the #6 seed. so IMPORTANT PLAYOFF JOCKEYING NOW TAKING PLACE, as early as Week 11. Fun stuff. In Week 12 the Isotopes will be seeking a 3rd straight win, the Banana Slugs will look to get back to getting Ws following a 1-3 stretch over their last 4 that has seen them drop from 4th to 6th in the playoff standings.

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Next Week aka This Week:   Isotopes v. X-Rayz (Read above for my thoughts on this matchup, WHY DO I EVEN WRITE THIS PART shit gets repetitive CHANGES COMING)Banana Slugs v. BDSliderz (Battle of 5-5-1s, his Dochness looking to stop a 4 week slide)

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I don’t know how many more times I will get the chance to give EE an MVP so we need to parrot now, wrong team jersey be damned…..

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Manchester MooniniteZ Do What The First Place Team Is Supposed To Do When Playing The Last Place Team, Defeat Q-Tip City Morning Wood  –  10-4-0

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MVP:  Edwin Encarnacion  –  Edwin’s demise has been greatly exaggerated, KINDA LIKE WHAT HAPPENS EVERY YEAR. But yes Edwin had a slow April and yes we were the teensiest tiniest bit worried maybe for a second there but worried no more, over the last 30 days he’s been the best hitter in baseball not named Aaron Judge and in June he’s been the best hitter period.  Hi to his haters (Heroy).  9/23, 10 Rs, 4 HRs, 10 RBIs, .545 OBP      

LVP:  Brandon Belt    Brandon WHAT HAPPENED HERE? Brandon Belt did not get a hit last week but still did enough to avoid LVP for the week, the Backyard Championship League is wacky like that. Have we settled on BCL as a thing? We need to settle on something as the formal version of “the Backyard” someone fetch me a poll question.  0/16, 1 R, 1 SB, .158 OBP     

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MooniniteZ Hitter Of Note:  NOLAN CYCLENADO NOLAN JROLLENADO NOLAN ARENADO whatever you wanna call him, he had one of the greatest cycles of all time Sunday and also had a JROLL in Week 11 and sadly even with all of that I couldn’t vault him over Eazy E for MVP of this matchup (13/33, 4 Rs, 5 2Bs, 1 3B, 1 HR, 9 RBIs, 1 SB, .394 OBP).

MooniniteZ Pitcher Of Note:  Jimmy Nelson earned himself a long leash in the MooniniteZ rotation by FINALLY getting us the CG we craved, we only wanted one we aren’t greedy (14 IP, 4 ER, 14 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1 CG, 2.45 ERA).

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Morning Wood Hitter Of Note:  The Morning Wood offense finally showed signs of life in Week 11 and Logan Morrison was right at the forefront of that uhhh signage (7/20, 7 Rs, 1 2B, 4 HRs, 9 RBIs, .458 OBP).

Morning Wood Pitcher Of Note:  And let’s keep thaaaangs positive, QTC started 12 so I don’t need to yell at them so I can instead point out that Carlos Martinez has been very good and very good for them and good for them (6 IP, 1 ER, 8 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.50 ERA).

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ABOUT. What could be expected when a team that hasn’t won since April takes on a team that hasn’t lost in a month and change. The team that hasn’t lost in a month and change still hasn’t lost, is what happened. Manchester (I guess Q-Tip City is also Manchester HOW CONFUSING) continued their hot streak here, fueled by a 57 R, 21 HR, 66 RBI offensive performance that helped make up for a pretttttty mediocre performance on the pitching portion (Jimmy Nelson Complete Game aside). Q-Tip City actually put up as strong of an offensive performance as they’ve mustered in MANY WEEKS (probably), winning the Doubles cat (20-17) and hitting 14 HRs (their highest total since they hit 17 in their last W in Week 2). But ALAS the MooniniteZ are hot, and their week-leading .3859 OBP helped key a 6 outta 7 cat win on offense that was enough to mask some unpleasantness on the pitching side of things (only 3 QS 3 Ws). Which isn’t to say pitching was all bad, their 77 Strikeouts were good enough and Nelson chipped in a CG and they amassed a league-leading 8 Saves (and even a shitty 4.838 ERA bested QTC’s even shittier 4.909). But whatever, I think we have discussed this matchup enough and we aren’t trying to talk about it so much as be about it, if you catch my drift. The Manchester MooniniteZ will seek to continue to BE ABOUT IT when they look for their SIXTH STRAIGHT WIN in Week 12 (last year the MooniniteZ set the season record with 8 straight TAKE NOTE), the Q-Tip City Morning Wood will look to win again at some point before the season concludes.

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Next Week aka This Week:  MooniniteZ v. OGTFC (Guy With The Most Championshippy Record In 2017 v. 2016 Champion), Morning Wood v. Bad Dudes (LEAVE IT ALL ON THE COURT QTC what can I really say here….)

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OceanGate Trout Fishing Club Earn A Rare Non-Tie, Squeak Past Rojo’s Renegade Force For The W  –  7-6-1

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MVP:  Anthony Rizzo  –   Rizzo has actually been the THIRD best hitter in baseball over the past 30 days. Is something I learned. Just now.  So yea good on him.  10/24, 6 Rs,  Realllllllly tried to not give this one to Mookie Betts since I’m on this kick this week of being mean to the Red Sawks but just….couldn’t….do it. He was good and now the Sawks are playing better and it is just a sad thing.  12/31, 8 Rs, 4 2Bs, 3 HRs, 5 RBIs, 1 SB, .441 OBP

LVP:  The All Holds Strategy    This is partly because nobody on the team was that bad and partly because IT IS JUST TRUE. I mean look at this shit, the Fishing Club was actually out there TRYING to pick up holds guys and they could only must one and they also only mustered one save. If you flip the strategy and go all Saves and then just try and stream Holds on the weekend you are better off. I don’t think anybody can deny this. But what do I know I only have the best record over the past 2 years (mehhhh regular season wins mehhhh I’m Mikey T).  0 Saves    

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OGTFC Hitter Of Note:  That goddamned madman Trea Turner stole 4 bases on Sunday to help spark the OGTFC comeback so we are gonna highlight his numbers over the superior numbers of Anthony Rizzo cuz fuck why not (9/33, 5 Rs, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs, 5 SBs, .294 OBP).

OGTFC Pitcher Of Note:  How’s about Archie Bradley racking up 2 Ws and a Hold in a mere 3.1 IP IS THAT NOT NOTABLE (3.1 IP, 0 ER, 5 Ks, 2 Ws, 1 Hold, 0.00 ERA)?!

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RRF Hitter Of Note:  Like I said RRF hitters weren’t that bad they just weren’t good enough, but damned if scrappy little Chris Taylor didn’t try his best to pull out this W (7/21, 5 Rs, 3 2Bs, 1 HR, 7 RBIs, 3 SBs, .391 OBP).

RRF Pitcher Of Note:   Masahiro Tanaka looked better for one game and then looked bad again but at least K’d 10 and I swear this motherfucker is the only pitcher I talk about for RRF I HAVE WRITTEN TOO MANY OF THESE STARTING TO GET TO ME (10.2 IP, 6 ER, 18 Ks, 1 QS, 5.06 ERA).

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Not gonna lie folks, there was a moment where this one looked DESTINED for a tie and I was like oh goddammit not a-fucking-gain. Well it turns out this one turned out farrrrr far worst, as our defending champeen snuck out the win and nobody ever wants the defending champeen to win. The OGTFC got it done in part because they were the THIRD team in Week 11 that was able to notch 20+ HRs, and the OGTFC were the cream of the crop of the league with 22 HRs. Those HRs combined with a strong OBP (.3775) and 9 Ws helped give the OGTFC the cats they needed to make a comeback on Sunday, but the reallllll story here was the Sunday SBs. The Fishing Club racked up 9 RBIs Sunday to 4 RBIs from Rojo’s Renegade Force (OGTFC would win RBIs 54-51) and that part was huge, but eeeeeven huger was the stolen base onslaught that managed them to grab them the lead in that cat. Rojo’s Renegade Force entered Sunday clinging to a 5-4 SB lead but 4 SBs from Trea Turner (and 2 other SBs from other fuckers) later and the OGTFC would end the week with a 10-5 edge in SBs. Andddd when George Springer failed to rack up the 2 doubles or 4 RBIs needed in the Sunday night game (he instead hit a solo HR), the OGTFC ended the week with a 7-6-1 edge overall. In Week 12 the OGTFC will look to STOP THE MOONINITEZ FREIGHT TRAIN and win their second in a row, as they continue to climb up the standings. Rojo’s Renegade Force will seek to avoid a 3rd straight loss that would put a reallll damper on playoff hopes.

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Next Week aka This Week:   OGTFC v. MooniniteZ, RRF v. Titans

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2017 WEEK 11 MATCHUP OF THE WEEK, SPONSORED BY NABISCO’S LIMITED EDITION WAFFLES & SYRUP OREOS

 

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I dunno I tried ’em and they are pretty good, this blog doesn’t attract a lot of sponsors what can I say……

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River City Bad Dudes (Temporarily?) Right The Ship, Stop Losing Streak At 3, Extend Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz Slide To 4 With Sunday Night Victory  –  6-5-3

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MVP:  Rougned Odor  –  ROUGNED ODOR JROLL. I didn’t properly celebrate the other JROLL from this week so we shall properly celebrate this one. The real MVPs were probably those that contributed in the Sunday night game but whatever we have Sawks bias here at the blog, plus Rougned has been awful so let’s give him a pat on the back and see if that’s just what he needs. He has been so piss poor that I am not going to use his picture however, and will instead use the ACTUAL JROLL himself. Baddddd motherfucker, that guy.  9/22, 7 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 3B, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs, 1 SB, .458 OBP

LVP:  Jedd Gyorko    Jedd Gyorko you didn’t do much, you jerko. I dunno someone needs to go here and your OBP sucked more than Bregman’s.  1/11, 2 Rs, .231 OBP

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Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note:  TRULY Xander Bogaerts was the MVP of this week, with a 2 dong Sunday night performance that should keep him in River City for a long time, but truly I don’t care about getting these things “right” or whatever so fuck him he goes here and I get to use a thug life Jimmy Rollins pic above (8/30, 3 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 7 RBIs, .313 OBP).

Bad Dudes Pitcher Of Note:  WELCOME BACK Tyson Ross, you were not as good as Lester but you pitched in a real live game and I want to point it out because you used to be pretty damned good (5.2 IP, 2 ER, 5 Ks, 1 W, 3.18 ERA).

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BDSliderz Wood Hitter Of Note:  Marcel Ozuna continues to be a bright spot for a MEH offense that certainly misses Freddie Freeman right about now (6/18, 4 Rs, 1 2B, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs, .478 OBP).

BDSliderz Pitcher Of Note:  Good lord did Jacob DeGrom look good last week, prrrrrobably and probably definitely the best he’s looked all season SO THAT IS POSITIVE FOR LACEY (17 IP, 1 ER, 12 Ks, 2 QS, 2 Ws, 1 CG, 0.53 ERA).

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DAMMIT I really wanted this one to end in a tie, we are not anti-tie here we are just anti-OGTFC tie cuz enough is fucking enough. But ANYWAYS, this one had alternately gonna back and forth from a Bad Dudes lead to a BDSliderz lead to a tie to a BDSliderz (may be out of sequence) and thennnnnn we arrived upon Sunday night and the Sunday night game that usually accompanies Sunday night. As the game began the BackdoorSliderz were absolutely clinnnging to a 5-4-5 lead and Lobman had already sent out a bunch of “mehhh ya got me mehhhh good week” type messages in the chat, EVER THE HUMBLE LOSER. But unfortunately the fucking Red Sawks waltzed into the Sunday night game hellbent on spoiling the Bad Dudes loss for all of us. A Xander Bogaerts HR gave the Bad Dudes the lead in that cat (14-13) and gave this matchup a tie, and then combo of Bogaerts and Hanley Ramirez threatened to knot up the Runs category but ultimately fell short (BDSliderz would win Runs 51-50 thanks to a Jose Altuve run). UNFORTUNATELY that wasn’t the only trick the Bad Dudes had up their sleeve, and yes I guess I am now rooting for Lacey Twp in this matchup even though it is already over and I know how it ends. THE FAILURES OF THE ASTROS (special shoutout to Alex Bregman whom gave the BDSliderz nothing both in the Sunday night game and in all other games last week) left the door open for a Craig Kimbrel appearance, with Saves all knotted up at 2, and naturally Kimbrel did what he is good at and nailed the door shut and gave both the hated by me Red Sawks and the hated by everyone Bad Dudes victories. SAD! The Bad Dudes will look to continue righting their ship in Week 12, as a 3 week slide had helped drop them from 1st to 3rd. The Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz will head into a CRUCIAL battle with the Barnegat Banana Slugs having lost 4 straight, which has dropped them allllllll the way out of the current playoff picture (a win against Barnegat gets them right back in that bitch however). FUCKING FANTASY BASEBALL FOLKS, tis heating up in the Backyard.

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Next Week aka This Week:  Bad Dudes v. Morning Wood, BDSliderz v. Banana Slugs

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WEEK 11 OVER AKA THE WEEK BEFORE WEEK 12 AKA THE WEEK THAT WILL PUT US OFFICIALLY TWO THIRDS OF THE WAY THROUGH THE SEASON WHEN IT IS OVER. NORMALLY I WOULD SAY WE SHOULD SEE A TRADE DEADLINE IN THE NEAR FUTURE BUT YOU IDIOTS VOTED FOR ONE LIKE A MONTH AND CHANGE FROM NOW SO NONE OF THAT, JUST A LOTTTTTT OF TEAMS JOCKEYING FOR PLAYOFF POSITIONING WHILE WE WATCH FROM OUR IVORY TOWER ON THE MOON……WITH OUR TWO GAME LEAD……WHICH MIGHT AS WELL PUT US ON THE MOON GIVEN THE WAY THE REST OF YOU WILL DEVOUR YOURSELVES IN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS. SUCK IT NERDZ.

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2017 WEEK 11 REVIEW: OFFENSIVE CARNAGE EDITION

Draft Rights: The Next Step

 

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Who wants the next version of Cuban superstar prospects? You? WELL YOU HAVE YOUR SHOT

– June 19, 2017

And now some Minor League news from your Minor League Coordinator:

 

Hello “friends”. I’ve been dragging my feet a bit on this, mostly because I’ve been fairly busy with some real life (SAD!) stuff, so I have finally gotten to a computer to do work, and this is what I’ve decided to start with. Without Further ado:

THURSDAY 7/13 Draft Rights Player Draft Guidelines:

  • Draft start time is TBD
  • YOU DO NOT HAVE TO PARTICIPATE IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO. I understand some of you do not really care too much for this process, and you may simply decide to not risk anything and just PASS on your picks. This makes my life easier, and allows this process to move quickly.
  • Draft will be 3 Rounds – Drafted in a fixed 1-10 fashion (based off of last season’s regular season record)
  • You may only have (3) draft rights players at a time. This means you must make a decision on your currently owned players prior to drafting.
    • If you decide to keep any of your rights players, you will forfeit your picks in the draft in descending order (3,2,1) depending on how many players you keep.
    • Deadline for decisions on currently owned players will be Sunday (7/9) prior to the draft at 11:59 pm.
    • If you renounce the rights to your draft rights player, they will be available in the draft. If they’re not drafted, they are ineligible to be selected in any form until they show up in the system, or the offseason draft.
    • An updated spreadsheet of rights players will be provided.
  • A spreadsheet with draft order (full with trades and such) will be provided within the next day or so. Maybe even today I don’t know.
  • Obviously, trades are acceptable for draft rights picks and players. There have already been a few. Picks for the offseason draft are also available to be traded. This is already being tracked, and a spreadsheet will be provided in short order.
  • Unattached players ARE eligible to be drafted but with the following conditions:
    • If a player is drafted in this year’s draft rights draft, they MUST sign with an organization by 7/13/18. If they are not attached to a team by that time, they will be released back into the pool for the next year’s draft.
    • This is not negotiable. This is a risk that you take for picking this player. You are being warned.
  • Again, just a little refresher on the draft rights process:
    • If you draft a player, you are obligated to make a decision on his roster status for your team the second he is found to be available in the ESPN player pool.
    • You are free to add him or decline and send him back to the player pool.
    • If you add this player, you will use your waiver spot. Your waiver spot will be used REGARDLESS of whether we notice a player is on or off waivers at the time.
    • If you relinquish the rights to a player, he’s available (via waivers or free agency) to the rest of the league.
    • Its simple, really.

Ok, so there may be added questions, but I will help streamline the process as much as I can, once I get any questions or comments. But I think we’re pretty clear on the process, and enjoying just how complex and convoluted we could make this league.

 

QUESTIONS? COMMENTS? PLAUDITS? Please bring it up on the chat!

 

Hugs and Kisses,

Mike

Draft Rights: The Next Step

Draft Rights Players (UPDATED 6/19)

Quick update. Let me know if this is incorrect.

Morning Wood (Shane) Pine Lake Punchouts (Rmac) Lacey Backdoor Sliderz (Dochney) Springfield Isotopes (Mikey T) RC Bad Dudes (Lobman) Rojo’s Resurgence (Rojo) OG Trout Fishing Club (Heroy) Barnegat Banana Slugs (Brian) Main St Mooninitez (Sean) Point Loma X-Rays (Odom)
 Matt Manning,   SP  NONE  None  None None NONE AJ Puk, SP Zack Collins,     C  AJ Minter,        SP Delvin Perez,   SS
Braxton Garrett,     SP Cal Quantrill,    SP
Draft Rights Players (UPDATED 6/19)

TRAAAAAAAAAADE REVIEWWWWWW(S): Apparently I Missed A Bunch Edition

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This is for the VAST MAJORITY of the trades that have plagued The Ides Of June here…..

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THE FIRST TRADE (6/13):

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WOOD traded Jon Lester, ChC SP to RCBD
RCBD traded Domingo Santana, Mil RF to WOOD

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POLL RESULTS:  I don’t know if we’ve been doing polls lately and shame on us for that. NO POLL RESULTS TO BE DISCUSSED.

MY HYPOTHETICAL VOTE:  Would go to the Q-Tip City Morning Wood because I hate Jon Lester

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THE MORNING WOOD RETURN:

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RF Domingo Santana – 24.8 year old Brewers RF working on a wee bit of a breakout.  .375 OBP, 11 2Bs, 11 HRs, 38 Rs, 35 RBIs, 6 SBs in 218 ABs thus far this season (well at the time that I got around to writing this part or whatever). Same number of HRs in about 30 more ABs last season and that was the most ABs he ever had so it is just a matter of WHERE THINGS GO FROM HERE. Compounding the ABs problem is a somewhat crowded Brewers OF once Ryan Braun returns from injury. But hey Domingo has slightly improved his BB% and his K% and that is more than SOME OTHER BREWERS OFs can say so who knows where he goes from here. Whom. Knows.

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THE BAD DUDES RETURN:

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SP Jon Lester – 33.45 year old lefty piece of shit pitcher for the Cubs that can’t throw to first base. 4-4, 3.89 ERA (3.52 FIP), 86 Ks in 83.1 IP (9.29 K/9), 7 QS at time of writing this in the year 2017. Remains an effective fantasy guy, has a team that will win him some games, but fuck him I don’t like him.

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THE SECOND TRADE (6/14):

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LTBS traded A.J. Pollock*, Ari CF to JF16
JF16 traded Eduardo Nunez, SF SS to LTBS
JF16 traded Kevin Maitan, Atl SS to LTBS

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MY HYPOTHETICAL VOTE:  Would go to the OGTFC due to receiving best player and giving up not much (at this time)

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THE OCEANGATE TROUT FISHING CLUB RETURN:

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CF AJ Pollock – 29.5 year old CF for the DBacks, has been both overrated and underrated a hundred different times by now.  .337 OBP, 12 2Bs, 3 3Bs, 2 HRs, 26 Rs, 11 RBIs, 11 SBs in 154 ABs thus far this season. He was never going to be the 20 HR threat that a lot of FOOLS thought he would be after he popped 20 in 2015, that was an outlier season and his cap is probably the mid teens on a good year. Hits way too many grounders to have power numbers, at about 50% this year. BUT a very good base stealer and can score a lot of runs and can probably end up with enough extra base hits in that home stadium to be a realllll fantasy asset, so long as he can stay healthy. That has been tricky throughout his career.

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THE BACKDOORSLIDERZ RETURN:

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SS/3B/LF Eduardo Nunez  –  GUY IS ALREADY GONE, lets save the analysis for his final resting place. Poor traded a bunch of times bastard, he’s like an older less domestically abusive Addison Russell…..

Low Minors SS Kevin Maitan – Look the guy is 17 fucking years old, I don’t care how good he might eventually be we could all be dead by then so it won’t really matter. Don’t trade established players for 17 year olds LET US NOT BECOME THAT LEAGUE. I know nothing about him, hear he has some hit tools but he also might not have pubes so whatevz. Major League Comparison:  Xander Bogaerts cuz I dunno why not? People that throw Miggy’s name around offend me. 

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THE THIRD TRADE (6/15):

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RCBD traded Lazaro Armenteros, Oak LF to LTBS
RCBD traded David Dahl*, Col LF to LTBS
RCBD traded Jacob Faria, TB SP to LTBS
LTBS traded J.P. Crawford, Phi SS to RCBD
LTBS traded Clint Frazier, NYY CF to RCBD
LTBS traded Carlos Carrasco, Cle SP to RCBD

AND A BUNCH OF DRAFT PICKS OR WHATEVER

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MY HYPOTHETICAL VOTE:  Would go to the Bad Dudes for getting Carlos Carrasco in all this mess and giving up a whole lotta not much, also Clint Frazier ain’t exactly a throw-in.

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THE BAD DUDES RETURN:

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SP Carlos Carrasco – 30 year old righty for the Indians, and a guy I think I saw pitchin in Clearwater. 6-3, 3.36 ERA (3.56 FIP), 72 Ks in 75 IP (8.64 K/9), 7 QS thus far in 2017. PITCHIN’ WELL. What else can I say. He also pitched quite well last year. I might try and acquire him from the Bad Dudes at some point so lets say as little as possible and move on.

Low Minors CF Clint Frazier – 22.8 year old CF for the Yanks, currently at AAA and acquired in the Andrew Miller trade and they made him cut his beautiful red hair. Yanks 2nd ranked prospect right now (#33 overall BA, #18 overall MLB.com, #16 overall BP). So folks think he can be good, and he has been pretty good at AAA thus far: .353 OBP, 11 HRs, 9 SBs in 59 games. Brewers RF working on a wee bit of a breakout.  .375 OBP, 11 2Bs, 11 HRs, 38 Rs, 35 RBIs, 6 SBs in 218 ABs thus far this season (well at the time that I got around to writing this part or whatever). PERHAPS not the type of guy you just throw in a deal, perhaps. Should be up next season at the latest, could be very good and a 20/20 threat and here he is just thrownnn on in here.I HAVE SEEN MIKE TROUT’S NAME MENTIONED AS A COMP EVEN THOUGH THOSE PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS. Major League Comparison:  Andrew McCutchen because I don’t see color, which version of Cutch it remains to be seen.

Low Minors SS JP Crawford – 22.4 year old AAA SS for the Phillies, slumping HARD but their top prospect according to BA (#19 overall BA, #4 MLB.com, #4 BP). The problem with prospect rankings is we act like defense isn’t a big part of them, and in JP’s case it certainly is. But yea SLUMPING:  .194 AVG, .313 OBP, 2 HRs, 2 SBs in 56 AAA games. Might still be good but damned if I ever trust an SS prospect, due to the whole defense being weighted heavily thing. Francisco Lindor worked out though so WHO KNOWS.  Major League Comparison:  Starlin Castro

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THE BACKDOORSLIDERZ RETURN:

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CF David Dahl  –  DAVID DAHL WILL BE HURT FOREVER. When he isn’t hurt he is a power-speed threat, as evidenced by his 7 HRs 5 SBs in 63 games last season. But he will be hurt forever so why wax nostalgic about the past.

Low Minors LF Lazaro Armenteros  –  AGAIN, this dude was born in like 1999 people. WHO FUCKING KNOWS. Major League Comparison:  Yasiel Puig cuz Cuba. 

Low Minors SP Jacob Faria  –  23.8 year old righty pitcher CURRENTLY UP with the Rays and pitching well. 2-0 with 13 Ks in 12.2 IP, 2 ER thus far in the majors after racking up 12.89 K/9 and putting up a 3.07 ERA (3.20) FIP in AAA. I believe he was the Rays 9th ranked prospect according to Baseball America, AND LOOK I DON’T HAVE THE TIME TO CHECK ALL THE RANKINGS ON ALL YOUR TRADES THIS PARTICULAR WEEK OKAY. I have a job sorta. Major League Comparison:  Colin McHugh, Ks WITH MEH VELOCITY BABY. 

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THE FOURTH TRADE (6/15):

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LTBS traded Eduardo Nunez, SF SS to WOOD
LTBS traded Corey Dickerson, TB LF to WOOD
WOOD traded Didi Gregorius, NYY SS to LTBS
WOOD traded Julio Teheran, Atl SP to LTBS

AND MAYBE DRAFT PICKS? I dunno I can’t remember. Almost definitely was draft picks though.

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“take some pride in your work Sean mehhhhhh”

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THE BACKDOORSLIDERZ RETURN:

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SP Julio Teheran – 26.33 year old righty starter for the Braves, oscillates between good and bad seasons and is currently on a bad one. 6-4, 4.86 ERA (5.67 FIP), 57 Ks in 79.2 IP (6.44 K/9), 9 QS in the year 2017. 9 QS HOW IN THE FUCK?! That FIP is so bad that I shouldn’t have to keep writing about this fucking guy in trade reviews, is what I think. So I won’t

SS Didi Gregorius – 27 year old SS for the Yanks, KILLIN IT after returning from the DL.  .355 OBP, 10 2Bs, 6 HRs, 23 Rs, 25 RBIs, 1 SB in 174 ABs. Hit 20 HRs last season. Still pretty young and in his athletic prime and whatnot. DEREK JETER WHO. A fairly solid fantasy SS these days is what Didi is, which is why he was on like 3 different teams around the time of this trade.

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THE MORNING WOOD RETURN:

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Because of what the Morning Wood are doing below here (and certainly NOT because of time constraints) I am not even going to look at their return. And it is a shame cuz I think the world of Corey Dickerson but YOU ERECTIONS ARE PUSHING IT. First 11 starters now this. and Fuck Eduardo Nunez……

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THE FIFTH/SIXTH TRADES (6/15):

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WOOD traded Troy Tulowitzki, Tor SS to RCBD
RCBD traded J.P. Crawford, Phi SS to WOOD

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RRF traded Ariel Miranda, Sea RP to WOOD
WOOD traded Carlos Gonzalez, Col RF to RRF

 

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Yea no nowwwwww you First Boners Of The Day are just fucking pushing it, don’t make the league contemplate the vetoes I would rather see you just drop people. Or yanno SHOP AROUND FOR A HOT MINUTE. I will not review these cuz these are terrible, I touched on JP Crawford above though so ENJOY THAT.

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TRAAAAAAAAAADE REVIEWWWWWW(S): Apparently I Missed A Bunch Edition

2017 Week 10 Review: BACK FROM BONNAROO TO BULLY THE LEAGUE WITH BITING COMMENTARY BUT NOT REALLY CUZ I AM STILL KINDA TIRED EDITION

Bonnaroo Body Paint
All hail the body painting tent and its gifts……
WEEK 10 ALLEGEDLY JUST HAPPENED BUT I WAS IN SOME FIELD IN TENNESSEE TRYING TO RADIATE POSITIVITY OR WHATFUCKINGEVER BUT NO MATTER. BOTH THE LEAGUE AND THE MOONINITEZ WENT ON MOSTLY WITHOUT ME AND DID JUST FINE. LETS CHECK AND SEE HOW BOTH THE LEAGUE AND THE MOONINITEZ DID SHALL WE? NO JROLLS AGAIN!

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Manchester MooniniteZ MooniMURDER Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz And I Am Rusty On These Things But Yea This One Wasn’t Close  –  11-1-2

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MVP:  Gary Sanchez  –  El Gary got off to a slow start and then got injured and for a moment I kinda missed Yasmani Grandal but NOW…….now El Gary is back and back to doing his thing. Shall be the best fantasy catcher in the league by season’s end.  9/26, 9 Rs, 2 2Bs, 4 HRs, 13 RBIs, .393 OBP      ***MVP OF THE WEEK***     

LVP:  Carlos Santana    ‘Los socked a dinger but that’s about all he socked, other than that he socked sucked.  2/18, 1 HR, 1 RBI, .200 OBP     

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MooniniteZ Hitter Of Note:  Joey Votto also had a helluva week in Week 10 but quite frankly so did a good chunk of the team and we can’t name drop em all now can we (11/27, 8 Rs, 4 HRs, 6 RBIs, .448 OBP).

MooniniteZ Pitcher Of Note:  When I say a good chunk of the team had a good week I am referring to the hitters, the pitchers were allllll hot garbage and were lead by the rook Dinelson Lamet regressing ALMOST IMMEDIATELY (8 IP, 14 ER, 9 Ks, 15.75 ERA).

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BDSliderz Hitter Of Note:  Marcell Ozuna gave me hell when this team was under previous ownership and he made a half-assed attempt to give me hell again but WAS NOT NEARLY GOOD ENOUGH sir (9/29, 6 Rs, 3 2Bs, 1 HR, 3 RBIs, .333 OBP).

BDSliderz Pitcher Of Note:  Old friend JA Happ returned to baseball in Week 10 and gave Lacey Twp one bad start and then one good start (11.1 IP, 5 ER, 12 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 3.97 ERA).

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Well HOT DAMN the MooniniteZ didn’t need much checking up on from their owner this week, as this will go down as the most impressive victory-whilst-attending-Bonnaroo that this league of old people will ever see (I include myself in the group here doubt I make it back). But yes what can be said here whatttttt…..can be…..said here. Lacey had the fewest Runs in the league in Week 10 while the MooniniteZ tied for the most (ergo MooniniteZ won that cat 59-38). Lacey had the fewest HRs in the league in Week 10 while the MooniniteZ had the most (ergo MooniniteZ won 21-8). Lacey had the fewest RBIs in the league in Week 10, the MooniniteZ had the SECOND most because the Isotopes keep fucking this symmetry up (ergo MooniniteZ won 58-32). The BackdoorSliderz did manage to avoid the shutout by posting a less awful ERA than the MooniniteZ, whom had an awful and league-worst ERA (ergo BDSliderz won 4.765 to 5.444). So there you have it. The suddenly SLUMPING Lacey Twp BDSliderz will look to avoid their fourth straight loss in Week 11, as they have perhaps finally learned what a tough league this can be. The suddenly RED HOT MooniniteZ will be seeking a 5th straight win in Week 11 but I already warned you clowns I probably already started going on a little run here.

Next Week aka This Week:  MooniniteZ v. Morning Wood (First Place v. Last Place), BDSliderz v. Bad Dudes (NL RUNNER UP BATTLE) 

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Astoria Isotopes Give The River City Bad Dudes A Queens Beatdown Although I Am Not Sure That Is A Real Thing  –  8-4-2

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MVP:  Starlin Castro  –  Starlin Castro HOW BOUT THIS FUCKIN’ GUY HUH? I really don’t think there’s anything else I want to add on the subject of Starlin Castro right now. He had a real good week though.  10/24, 8 Rs, 1 2B, 1 3B, 3 HRs, 10 RBIs, .440 OBP    

LVP:  Maikel Franco    Oh Maikel…….you continue to ride the struggle bus sir. Which is EXCELLENT cuz Lobman traded for you.  3/28, 1 RBI, .138 OBP     

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Isotopes Hitter Of Note:  Aaron Judge continues to be a monster for the ‘Topes and the Bombers alike and the man was on base 60 goddamned percent of the time in Week 10 (12/24, 10 Rs, 3 2Bs, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs, .600 OBP).

Isotopes Pitcher Of Note:  And heyyy Edinson Volquez had a nice game against the Pirates and I have already typed out his name more times than I expected to this season, baseball is wacky (7 IP, 0 ER, 8 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 0.00 ERA).

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Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note:  Odubel Herrera is a man that I know put together back to back LVP weeks which is impressive but he also hit 6 doubles in this matchup which is also impressive (8/20, 6 Rs, 6 2Bs, 1 HR, 3 RBIs, .429 OBP).

Bad Dudes Pitcher Of Note:  And heyyyy Craig Kimbrel struck out every batter he faced last week and I will probably always highlight that sort of thing cuz Ks are kewl (2.1 IP, 0 ER, 7 Ks, 2 Saves, 0.00 ERA).

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DON’T LET THE 8 CAT WIN FOOL YOU FOLKS, the Isotopes took it to the defending runner-ups in this particular battle, the latest entry in this long-standing alleged rivalry. I say alleged because I have seen the Bad Dudes (under previous names) win playoff games but I have never seen the Isotopes (under previous names) win a damn thing when it counts. But ANYWHO, the Bad Dudes submitted a power outage performance here as they failed to reach double digit HRs for just the second week all year and submitted their lowest total yet with just 8 Dongs. The Isotopes did not have this same problem, as their Dong Cup runneth’d over and they put up 19. The Isotopes are also the ones to fuck up the paragraph I had above by notching an impressive and league best 63 RBIs in Week 10, nearly double the unimpressive and nearly league-worst 36 RBIs posted by River City. The nicest thing I can say about the Bad Dudes is they amassed 7 Saves in Week 10 and that is more than anyone else can say so good for them. In Week 11 the SUDDENLY SLUMPING JUST AS HARD AS LACEY Bad Dudes will also look to avoid a 4th straight loss when they head to Lacey, how beautiful is that shit? One of them will likely end up with a 4th straight loss. Beautiful. Oh and also the Isotopes will look to win their 2nd in a row and climb back above .500 for the first time in a while I think.

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Next Week aka This Week:   Isotopes v. Banana Slugs (Isotopes goin for the season series sweep with Barnegat)Bad Dudes v. BDSliderz (I kinda wish they could both lose)

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Barnegat Banana Slugs Barnebeat The Toms River Titans And I Am Still Kinda Tired So Fuck You Why Do I Even Write These Things At The Top Like This In The First Place  –  8-4-2

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MVP:  Jake Lamb  –  Jake Lamb is just an RBI MACHINE out there in AZ currently, I believe he currently leads baseball and I recall more than one double digit RBI week on his ledger.  5/21, 4 Rs, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 11 RBIs, .407 OBP      

LVP:  Javier Baez    This is a sad juxtaposition with Starlin Castro’s MVP performance above but SOMETIMES THAT IS JUST HOW IT GOES, Baez still has plenty of potential but Week 10 was not necessarily a week where that potential was shown off. Also steal a damn base would ya?  2/20, 1 R, 1 2B, 2 RBIs, .182 OBP     

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Banana Slugs Hitter Of Note:  Salvador Perez giving the BSlugs some excellent production out of the catcher position, one has to be worried that it will eventually devolve into a “Was Salvador Perez Better Than Gary Sanchez This Week” segment (10/22, 7 Rs, 2 2Bs, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs, .478 OBP).

Was Trevor Story Better Than Aledmys Diaz This Week?:  NOPE, neither set the world on fire but Aledmys was certainly the better of the 2 in 10. 

Current Tally: Trevor Story 5, Aledmys Diaz 5.

Banana Slugs Pitcher Of Note:  Fuckin Ivan Nova mannnn, I am convinced if he was on the Yankees still he would have a 4.95 ERA right now but he is not on the Yankees and he is actually quite good and quite efficient with the pitches (12 IP, 3 ER, 8 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 2.25 ERA).

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Titans Hitter Of Note:  JT Realmuto the TOP RANKED catcher by whatever weird criteria ESPN uses for that ranking system, take that all the haters and losers (7/24, 4 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 5 RBIs, .320 OBP).

Titans Pitcher Of Note:  The Titans tried to pick up a post-hype success story or something with Kevin Gausman and they learned the hard way that he kinda just sucks this particular season (3.1 IP, 7 ER, 18.90 ERA).

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Barnegat battered the TR Titans a bit in Week 10, outclassing them on both sides of the coin which is a tough thing to do given TR’s stable of arms. The Banana Slugs had a lower ERA (3.232 v. 3.765), more QS (8 v. 6), more Ws (6 v. 4), and NEARLY more Ks but no they lost that one by one (85 v. 86). The Slugs paired the solid showing from their hurlers with good enough production on offense to take down a Titans squad that put up the second fewest Runs, second fewest HRs, and third fewest RBIs last week. If the Titans are scuffling that hard on offense they need their pitching to carry it home for them and the pitching came up just a bit short in most cats so they were in trouble here. I DUNNO HOW I COULD BETTER ANALYZE THIS ONE. THIS IS ALL WRAPPED UP. But also the Slugs will seek a second straight win when this week is all said and done in order to stay atop the American Division or American League or whatfuckingever we really need to change these names. The Titans will look to avoid a second straight loss as they don’t want to fall too far below .500. Both these teams started 12 pitchers.

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Next Week aka This Week:  Banana Slugs v. Isotopes (Barnegat goin for the season series split with Astoria), Titans v. X-Rayz (Titans are goin for that season series split)

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MLB: Spring Training-Kansas City Royals at Arizona Diamondbacks
X-Rayz Eek Out Close Victory Over Rojo’s Renegade Force, Whom Won Holds  –  6-5-3

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MVP:  Robbie Ray  –   Robbie Ray STAYS KILLIN IT and Odom trading to get him back after trading him away in the first place may be the move of the year when it is all said and done. Yea I said it. Without Robbie’s two QS minuscule ERA performance this one maybe goes the other way. Apologies to LoCain whom I originally had here before noticing Robbie’s line.  13.1 IP, 1 ER, 23 Ks, 2 QS, 2 Ws, 0.68 ERA   

LVP:  Michael Fulmer    I just wasn’t sure where to go with the blame on this one so IIIII dunno I guess let’s just blame Fulmer for getting rocked by the Trout-less Angels, a team he should have QS’d against. And that QS would have netted RRF a tie at least and possibly a W if it swung ERA. So bad job Michael.  4.1 IP, 5 ER, 1 K, 10.38 ERA   

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X-Rayz Hitter Of Note:  And additional apologies to LoCain cuz let’s instead note Dee Gordon‘s performance, the guy crammed A LOT into a week where his OBP was ’bout 2 hundo (6/28, 5 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 3B, 2 RBIs, 3 SBs, .207 OBP).

X-Rayz Pitcher Of Note:  Jeff Samardzija also killed it and also was a crucial component to the X-Rayz victory just to a less impressive extent when compared to the above-mentioned Mr. Ray (13.2 IP, 4 ER, 16 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 2.63 ERA).

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RRF Hitter Of Note:  For those wondering Paul Goldschmidt remains very good (8/18, 7 Rs, 3 2Bs, 1 HR, 6 RBIs, 1 SB, .600 OBP).

RRF Pitcher Of Note:   And Masahiro Tanaka remains PRETTY BAD this particular season, because leave it to the Yankees to ruin every Asian pitcher they ever acquire (5 IP, 5 ER, 2 Ks, 9.00 ERA).

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The X-Rayyyyzzzzz and Rojo’s Renegade Force battled to the closest matchup that wasn’t undone by FUCKING ELEVEN START BUFFOONERY, I am not going to use this to springboard into calling the Holds Only Strategy buffoonery because that is a dead horse that I have thoroughly beaten and “tonight I’m gonna bury that horse in the ground” like that Florence and The Machine song says. Florence maybe gave the best live performance I’ve ever seen at last year’s Firefly but that’s neither here nor there but yea that gal has moxie. ANYWAYYYYYYS, OF MOST NOTABLE NOTE in this matchup was the X-Rayz playoff style parlaying of a Saturday Rays-As double header into some reallll numbers for the squad. Ryon Healy was added and Steven Souza was added and Evan Longoria and Yonder Alonso were already there and those 4 combined for 7 Rs, 5 2Bs, 2 HRs, and 10 RBIs in a matchup that would end up tied in RBIs (40-40). Hell Jerry Blevins was added for the Mets-Braves doubleheader and he provided the X-Rayz with an ultimately useless but still noted here Hold (RRF won Holds 4-1 cuz duh). WORK THOSE DOUBLEHEADERS PEOPLE. That’s really all I wanted to discuss here. The ALSO PRETTY DAMNED HOT Point Loma X-Rayz now find themselves winners of 3 straight and seeking a 4th straight in Week 11, Rojo’s Renegade Force will be aiming to avoid a second straight loss and remain in the playoff picture. Both these teams started 12 pitchers.

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Next Week aka This Week:   X-Rayz v. Titans (X-Rayz are going for that sweep), RRF v. OGTFC (Just whatever you do no more goddamned ties)

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2017 WEEK 10 MATCHUP OF THE WEEK, SPONSORED BY ROYAL BLOOD

 

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Royal Blood rocked the hardest shit at Bonnaroo everyone listen to Royal Blood now……..

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OceanGate Trout Fishing Club Escape With Yet Another Lucky Tie Thanks To Q-Tip City Morning Wood FUCKING THE FUCK UP AND ONLY STARTING 11 GUYS  –  6-6-2

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MVP:  Sean Manaea  –  Sean Manaea has looked good lately and part of that looking good has included striking out people and he helped the OGTFC notch 3 more strikeouts than their opponent. ALBEIT WITH ONE FUCKING MORE START THAN THEIR FUCKFACE OPPONENT MUSTERED.  13 IP, 4 ER, 12 Ks, 2 QS, 2 Ws, 2.77 ERA

LVP:  Shane    GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND START YOUR TWELFTH FUCKING STARTER NEXT FUCKING TIME YOU FUCKING FUCKUP.  11/12 games started     ***LVP OF THE WEEK***     

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OGTFC Hitter Of Note:  Mookie Betts was okay I guess but JUST okay (7/30, 6 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 3 RBIs, 1 SB, .281 OBP).

OGTFC Pitcher Of Note:  My boy Daniel Norris also helped get the OGTFC to a point where they had 3 more strikeouts than their opponent, ALBEIT WITH ONE FUCKING MORE START THAN THEIR FUCKFACE OPPONENT MUSTERED (11 IP,  5 ER, 13 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 4.09 ERA).

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Morning Wood Hitter Of Note:  Justin Upton had 10 RBIs, nice going Justin (9/26, 3 Rs, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 10 RBIs, .346 OBP).

Morning Wood Pitcher Of Note:  THE FUCKING MISSING FUCKING TWELFTH STARTER (FUCKING NOTHING).

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ONLY ONE OF THESE TEAMS STARTED TWELVE FUCKING STARTERS AND BECAUSE OF THAT THEY WERE ABLE TO STEAL YET ANOTHER TIE IN THEIR PATHETIC TITLE DEFENSE BUT THIS ISN’T ABOUT THEM, THIS IS ABOUT THE FUCKING TEAM THAT COULDN’T FUCKING STREAM THREE FUCKING STRIKEOUTS IN ORDER TO FINALLY WIN A GODDAMN MATCHUP FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE FUCKING EARLY FUCKING APRIL. YOU HAD ONE JOB SHANE AND THAT WAS TO PICK ANY PIECE OF SHIT PITCHER OUT THERE ON THE WAIVER WIRE WITH THE ASSUMPTION THAT 85% IF NOT MORE OF THOSE PIECES OF SHIT COULD TOIL THEIR WAY TO THREE OR MORE STRIKEOUTS, CARLOS FUCKING RUIZ JUST STRUCK A GUY OUT AND HIS BATTING MUSIC IS “IN THE AIR TONIGHT” BY PHIL FUCKING COLLINS. OR AT LEAST IT WAS FOR A TIME, JUST LIKE YOUR TEAM FOR A TIME WAS CONSIDERED A THREAT UNTIL YOU GOT ALL FUCKING COCKY AND NOW LOOKATYAS HAVEN’T WON SINCE THE FUCKING ELEVENTEENTH FAST AND THE FURIOUS MOVIE HIT THEATERS OR WHATEVER. AND THIS ONE WAS ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT AND NOT EVEN THE FAULT OF THAT PUNY KANSAS CITY ROYALS-ESQUE OFFENSE OF YOURS GODDAMMIT SHANE GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME. There I have successfully reviewed the error.

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Next Week aka This Week:  OGTFC v. Renegade Force (As the OGTFC continue their quest to shatter whatever ties record may exist), Morning Wood v. MooniniteZ (GOOD FUCKIN LUCK BUDDY)

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WE NOW FIND OURSELVES IN WEEK 10.9 PRETTY MUCH WHICH MEANS WE ARE ALMOSTTTTTT AT THE POINT WHERE WE CAN SAY TWO THIRDS OF THE SEASON HAS PASSED, I EXPECT THE LEAGUE TO RESPOND WITH A FLURRY OF TRADES RELATIVE TO YOUR TEAM’S CHANCES TO WIN IT ALL THIS YEAR………AND BE REALISTIC WITH YOURSELVES. REALLY REALISTIC.

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2017 Week 10 Review: BACK FROM BONNAROO TO BULLY THE LEAGUE WITH BITING COMMENTARY BUT NOT REALLY CUZ I AM STILL KINDA TIRED EDITION

2017 Week 9 REVIEW: HALFWAY HOME

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WEEK 9 in the books which puts us prettttty officially at the halfway point of the season, and OH MY would you look at that the MooniniteZ stand alone at the top. Let’s see how we got here gentlemen, QUICKLY because I have a music festival to catch and I don’t want to stay at work all day and so expect the witty banter to be kept to a minimum …….just gonna come right out now and say there were no JROLLS in Week 9 and that makes me sad……okay on to the review…….

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This week everyone gets random word art that I google searched because I just don’t have the TIME to google search yanno, baseball players. I assume that would take longer…

Point Loma X-Rayz Continue The Long Painful Humbling of Q-Tip City Morning Wood With Convincing Victory  –  10-2-2

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MVP:  Elvis Andrus  –  I dunno how in the fuck Elvis accumulated 10 RBIs last week but TURNS OUT HE DID, and he has 32 RBIs on the season and is now a cleanup hitter or something.  13/25, 7 Rs, 4 2Bs, 1 HR, 10 RBIs, 4 SBs, .571 OBP     

LVP:  Frankie Montas    Frankie Montas brought nothing to the table and took several things off of it.  4 IP, 7 ER, 2 Ks, 15.75 ERA     

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X-Rayz Hitter Of Note:  Yonder Alonso is likely the newest success story in the “fly ball revolution” but READ ABOUT IT YOURSELVES (10/24, 8 Rs, 2 2Bs, 3 HRs, 4 RBIs, 1 SB, .500 OBP).

X-Rayz Pitcher Of Note:  Andddd Robbie Ray is on FIYA folks, trying to become more than the NL version of Michael Pineda which used to be a bit of an insult but now is less so (9 IP, 0 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1 CG, 0.00 ERA).

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Morning Wood Hitter Of Note:  Hey at least new-ish acquisition JD Martinez looks nice and healthy (7/25, 6 Rs, 3 2Bs, 1 3B, 3 HRs, 8 RBIs, .308 OBP).

 

Morning Wood Pitcher Of Note:  And other new-ish acquisition Julio Teheran gave up 10 runs in 2 starts and still came out of it with 2 Ws which is kinda impressive (11.1 IP, 10 ER, 9 Ks, 1 QS, 2 Ws, 7.94 ERA).

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THIS ONE WAS NEVER IN DOUBT FOLKS. Keeping that from last week’s review because this one prrrrrrrobably was never in doubt. Q-Tip City is just having trouble putting together a full week, though they can take solace in the fact that they didn’t score the fewest runs in Week 9 (that distinction goes to the Bad Dudes lolz). What they should NOT take solace in is the fact that they put up a team OBP of .2650 which isssss quite bad. Possibly the worst all season but whom has time to check those sorts of things. As for something that was the BEST all season, the X-Rayz notched 18 SBs in Week 9 to beat their previous 2017 record of 17. They were still only 66% of the way to their all time record of 27 SBs howeva, and in an era of dying speed that one may be tough to touch ever again for THEM and pretty much impossible to touch for anyone else. BUT YEA…..not much in doubt here, QTC pitched to an ERA over 6 and uhhh the X-Rayz didn’t and the X-Rayz notched 2 CGs when zero CGs would have got the job done. They’ll try and win their third in a row in Week 10, the Quarter Chubs will try to avoid losing their 8th in a row.

Next Week aka This Week: X-Rayz v. Renegade Force, Morning Wood v. OGTFC 

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Rojo’s Renegade Force Take Down Multiple Season Offensive Records/The Barnegat Banana Slugs  –  8-5-1

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MVP:  George Springer  –  The Renegades offense went off this week folks, no way to sugarcoat it, and George Springer was a very big part of that. #analysis.  15/30, 11 Rs, 1 2B, 5 HRs, 9 RBIs, .531 OBP     ***MVP OF THE WEEK***

LVP:  Salvador Perez    Catching is a difficult job and it takes a toll on a body and we don’t give a shit about that at all for fantasy baseball purposes.  3/21, 3 Rs, 1 2B, 2 RBIs, .182 OBP

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RRF Hitter Of Note:  Aaron Hicks has been super good for the Yankees and for fantasy owners alike and DOES IT SHOW THAT I AM MAILING THIS ONE IN (12/27, 4 Rs, 6 2Bs, 10 RBIs, .448 OBP)?

RRF Pitcher Of Note:  Ariel Miranda COMPLETE GAME, whatta week for CGs and I still can’t get even one but not complaining just like pointing it out yanno (9 IP, 1 ER, 9 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1 CG, 1.00 ERA).

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Banana Slugs Hitter Of Note:  On the positive side for the B Slugs J Don got a full week of ABs in for the first time in a long time and looked like a man making up for lost time (7/24, 5 Rs, 1 2B, 4 HRs, 6 RBIs, .346 OBP).

Was Trevor Story Better Than Aledmys Diaz This Week?:  SADLY, yes. 

Current Tally: Trevor Story 5, Aledmys Diaz 4.

Banana Slugs Pitcher Of Note:  Max Scherzer with one of the prettier CGs of the year in Week 9 (9 IP, 1 ER, 11 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1 CG, 1.00 ERA).

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Good LAWD did the RRF offense come out swinging in Week 9, perhaps miffed by the team’s placement as #9 in the June Power Rankings. With an offense that is looking more and more dangerous as the months go by they have a solid argument that they are actually uhhh, I dunno 7th or something. This one was a slobberknocker all around with the teams battling to the top two weekly totals in Doubles (Slugs won 25-24) and RBIs (RRF won 70-57). Just two offenses really clicking and one of those weeks where the Slugs are probably a bit saddened to have drawn the hottest O in the league, as a lesser opponent might have yielded a Barnegat victory. But a lesser opponent is NOT what was in the cards and an Ariel Miranda Sunday CG kinda closed off a lot of routes to potential different results here, both teams pitched fairly well here but I wanted to talk about the offenses and also I don’t want to talk that much at all for I am busy. Rojo’s Renegade Force will look to stay hot and win their 3rd in a row in Week 10, Barnegat will look to avoid losing their 3rd in a row. DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS.

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Next Week aka This Week:   RRF v. X-RayzBanana Slugs v. Titans

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Manchester MooniniteZ Complete Masterful Season Series Sweep of River City Bad Dudes, Capture Sole Possession Of First Place And The Hearts Of A  Nation  –  7-4-3

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MVP:  Andrew McCutchen  –  This was the first week all season where I didn’t kinda hate Andrew McCutchen a little bit and it only took us 9 weeks to get there.  8/20, 8 Rs, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 5 RBIs, .519 OBP      

LVP:  Jose Abreu    TOUGH WEEK for Jose, I could have given this to Bryce Harper for being suspended for most of it but nahhh Jose earned this one.  2/23, 2 RBIs, .192 OBP     

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MooniniteZ Hitter Of Note:  Justin Smoak had a nice week that would have looked even nicer had I not benched him for a 3 run HR on Friday (6/23, 4 Rs, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs, .346 OBP).

MooniniteZ Pitcher Of Note:  Jimmy Nelson went toe to toe with Clayton Kershaw on Friday night and nobody can take that from him even though his bullpen took away his W and so short story long I will give him another start for Manchester (8 IP, 0 ER, 11 Ks, 1 QS, 0.00 ERA).

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Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note:  Domingo Santana did his best to fill in admirably in Bryce’s absence and I would say he did a pretty solid job is what I would say (7/26, 6 Rs, 1 2B, 3 HRs, 4 RBIs, .321 OBP).

Bad Dudes Pitcher Of Note:  Alex Cobb on the other hand, you did poorly and that is something you had in common with several other Bad Dudes pitchers last week (5 IP, 9 ER, 3 Ks, 16.20 ERA).

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The Bad Dudes could have used their bad boy Bryce Harper, as the offense here looked LIFELESS for most of the week and by the time they started turning thangs around it was a bit tooooo late. The MooniniteZ jumped out to large leads in Runs (I think the Bad Dudes were in single digits til like Friday), HRs, and RBIs on O and locked up QS and ERA super early on the pitching side. Not long after it was pretty clear Strikeouts and Ws would go to Manchester as well, cuz yanno River City was pitching like shit. POINT IS there was about 7 cats locked up for Manchester by cocktail hour on Saturday and allll the late gains made by River City were not enough to turn around said 7 cats and that was your ball game. I am SURE that was probably your lowest Runs total this season for the Bad Dudes (37) and possibly your lowest RBIs total as well (34), they just didn’t have it in Week 9 on either side of the ball and now they’ve been swept by the MooniniteZ in 2017 and nothing that happens from here on out will be able to change that (I guess a meeting in the playoffs could maybe change it). River City heads to Astoria in Week 10 looking to avoid a third straight loss, while the MooniniteZ host Lacey seeking a 4th straight win (WHICH WOULD BE A 2017 LEAGUE HIGH I AM GUESSING).

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Next Week aka This Week:  MooniniteZ v. BDSliderz, Bad Dudes v. Isotopes

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Toms River Titans Take Season Series Two Oh Over Astoria Isotopes, Win  –  7-5-2

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MVP:  Carlos Correa  –  The Astros O must have been humming last week because Correa is basically a coin flip here with Springer for MVP of the week, a coin flip that I decided he lost.  11/28, 8 Rs, 1 2B, 4 HRs, 12 RBIs, .469 OBP   

LVP:  Jose Quintana    I mean SWEET JESUS JOSE I defended you in spring training and now you’ve made us all look like fools, FOOLS I TELL YOU. Giving you LVP of the week just cuz.  2.2 IP, 7 ER, 4 Ks, 23.63 ERA     ***LVP OF THE WEEK*** 

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Titans Hitter Of Note:  Miguel Sano stays killin it (8/21, 4 Rs, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs, .435 OBP).

Titans Pitcher Of Note:  Andddd the Titans streamed a Ty Blach CG Shutout which is interesting enough, I guess (9 IP, 0 ER, 4 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1 CG, 0.00 ERA).

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Isotopes Hitter Of Note:  Aaron Judge ALSO stays killin it for what it is worth (9/26, 7 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 7 RBIs, 1 SB, .469 OBP).

Isotopes Pitcher Of Note:   Andddd the ‘Topes streamed a Edinson Volquez CG Shutout which is EQUALLY interesting enough, I guess (9 IP, 0 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1 CG, 0.00 ERA).

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The Titans continue to climb out of the cellar following a victory in one of our closest matchups (in certain areas) and yet another matchup with dueling CGs and yet another loss for Astoria. That sentence barely worked but I am barely trying. THIS ONE upon first glance came down to a bit of strategy by the Titans to sit Javier Baez for the night game, strategy that was then reinforced by the Cubs doing the same thing. The ‘Topes were looking to steal back OBP with some late-day heroics from Mark Reynolds but he went 1/5 which wasn’t good enough for that at all. Not. At. All. Outside of the narrow OBP battle the Titans were able to escape with hard-fought W in HRs (18 to 16), and outside of the offensive side altogether both teams kinda just battled to see who could have the less shitty ERA (Titans won 4.877 to 5.684). They have some nerve pairing those ERAs with dueling CGs, THERE ARE STARVING CHILDREN IN AFRICA THAT WOULD KILL THEIR OWN MOTHERS FOR A CG.  The Toms River Titans travel to Barnegat seeking a 3rd straight victory in Week 10, while the ‘Topes host the Bad Dudes and hope to avoid a 4th straight loss.

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Next Week aka This Week:   Titans v. Banana Slugs, Isotopes v. Bad Dudes

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2017 WEEK 9 MATCHUP OF THE WEEK, SPONSORED BY MICROSOFT OFFICE’S WORD ART FEATURE

 

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WORD ART……A bad idea always

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OceanGate Trout Fishing Club Survive Sunday Night Game For A Change, Defeat Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz  –  8-5-1

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MVP:  Trea Turner  –  Without Trea’s triple and his many many steals this week the OGTFC probably lose and that is just the FACTS.  10/30, 5 Rs, 1 3B, 3 RBIs, 5 SBs, .355 OBP

LVP:  Kyle Hendricks    Way to fail to deliver TWICE Kyle. TWICE.  9 IP, 9 ER, 8 Ks, 9.00 ERA        

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OGTFC Hitter Of Note:  Mookie Betts was okay I guess but JUST okay (7/30, 6 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 3 RBIs, 1 SB, .281 OBP).

OGTFC Pitcher Of Note:  Since nobody on the staff had multiple QS or Ws lets instead highlight the always really good Andrew Miller whom struck out every batter he faced in Week 9 (2.1 IP,  0 ER, 7 Ks, 2 Holds, 0.00 ERA).

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BDSliderz Hitter Of Note:  Jose Altuve presented as FURTHER PROOF that the Astros offense is v good (13/27, 8 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 HR, 4 RBIs, 1 SB .563 OBP).

BDSliderz Pitcher Of Note:  Marco Estrada pitched poorly finally and as someone that’s bitter about losing him on a waiver claim I feel I should point it out (3.2 IP, 7 ER, 4 Ks, 15.75 ERA).

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SUNDAY DEVOID OF MAGIC ALERT. This one ended up as the only matchup with potential Sunday night implications, and those all rested on the shoulders of Kyle Hendricks. A quality start and a victory from Kyle coupled with some 0 fers or at least 0 run fers from the OGTFC Sunday night participants and the BDSliderz might have walked outta there with a victory. but NOT TO BE as Hendricks failed to even make it 5 innings, aka he wouldn’t qualify for either, and the OGTFC Sunday night bats grabbed 4 Runs or so to take back that cat as well (46 to 45) and there you have it an 8-5-1 victory for OceanGate in a week marred only by their owner getting married. We here at the blog would like to wish the new Heroys many years of happiness (if such a thing is even possible in marriage) and hope they enjoy their honeymoon and are using their wedding as an excuse to just ramble on a bit here and not have to actually say anything more about the Week 9 matchup because I don’t feel like it. THE OGTFC WON OKAY, and now they’ve won 3 in a row and all you bastards have just let them off the hook. The OGTFC seek their 4th in a row (AGAIN probably would be the high mark for 2017) in Week 10, the Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz will be looking to prevent a different team’s 4th in a row and halt their very first losing streak at 2.

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Next Week aka This Week:  OGTFC v. Morning Wood, BDSliderz v. MooniniteZ

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HALFWAY POINT O’ THE SEASON BEHIND US, BEST OF LUCK TO ALL YOU SUCKERS IN THE SECOND HALF AND SEE YOU ALL ON THE OTHER SIDE (OF WEEK 10, WHICH I WILL LARGELY BE IGNORING)….

 

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2017 Week 9 REVIEW: HALFWAY HOME