TECHNICALLY SPEAKING, I would have declared last “week” to be more of the “mid-season” because we are basically working with a 12 “week” season just with most of those “weeks” being half-week horror shows. But I didn’t write this last week, probably because I didn’t want to or plan to. Also because it was Shark Week and that takes all of my focus.

But NOW, now I’ve decided a slow Monday workday means I should once again attempt to document this mess of a year for future generations. This time through the majestic beauty that is the mid-season awards. Mostly the lazy version from last year, that is. Also some “mid-season but more” Power Rankings at the bottom, we are going to fucking blink and the whole year will be over so these will likely be a one and done. Read it, don’t read it, I don’t care obviously. This is for science.

(All stats through 08/16/20 )

 

MOST ATTRACTIVE OWNER SISTER OR RELATIVE OR EX-GF OR SO ON OR SO FORTH:  All of them. All women are beautiful. It’s 2020 I don’t even SEE physical characteristics any more.

 

“FIRST HALF” ROY:  Luis Robert (LL)  –  80 ABs, 11 Rs, 6 2Bs, 3 HRs, 10 RBIs, 4 SBs, .333 OBP

This mighta gone to that REVELATION Jake Cronenworth had he been rostered for his three-baggers and/or two of his Dongs but he WASN’T and that’s the kind of hard-hitting investigation we do here at the Mid-Season Awards post. It also probably SHOULD go to Dobnak but I didn’t wanna because he’s just been lucky probs. There’s this thing called strikeouts RANDY perhaps you’ve heard of it?

honorable mention:  Randy Dobnak (‘Topes), Jake Cronenworth (‘Topes)

 

“FIRST HALF” ROLAIDS RELIEVER OF THE YEAR:  Liam Hendricks (LTBS)  –  11.1 IP, 2 ER, 1 W, 17 Ks, 7 Saves, 1.59 ERA

I am NOT doing the cute shit where I give it to an RP eligible starter, and Hendriks slightly edges Britton by doubling up his Ks and having a dub.

honorable mention:  Zach Britton (Leviathans)

 

“FIRST HALF” IMMODIUM BEDSHITTER RELIEVER OF THE YEAR:  Craig Kimbrel (EC/Margs)  –  4.2 IP, 7 ER, 6 Ks, 2 Holds, 13.50 ERA

Craig was the Immodium award winner last year as well so we are just carrying over. To be fair to the Margs he did all of his damage on the East Coast Baseball Team, racking up 2 Holds in 3 appearances at a cost of 2 ER per appearance.

honorable mention:  Kirby Yates (BBS)

 

BEST NEW COMMISSIONER TYPE GROUP THING — N/A

WORST NEW COMMISSIONER TYPE GROUP THING — Shane/Brian: Trying to add an extra lineup spot was bad I guess but really I’m only still disgusted with the math behind 7 starts a mini-matchup thing when the full week number used to be 12. Impeachable offense. They should have stepped down.

 

BEST NEW OWNER — Guy (#IWTTGAAIGWC19): Yanno by default lets everyone beat him and that is what a good first year owner should do, terrible team name aside.

 

WORST NEW OWNER — Guy (#IWTTGAAIGWC19): Also by default. Also because THEY HAVE YET TO WIN A MATCHUP, which is something I tend to find impressive no matter how bad a roster looks. With this one it’s mostly understandable with the LEVIATHANS that is a Herculean performance by Shane to still hold onto last place for dear life.

But oh yea while I’m at it….

 

WORST TEAM NAME — #IWTTGAAIGWC19:  This is the least defensible aspect of Guy’s debut, as I SPECIFICALLY requested the orange man be left out of the league’s imagery. What is the point of this blog if people don’t listen to it, I ask you. And if the McCann/Smith administration had any balls they’d ban hashtags and force a name change to something more like….

 

BEST TEAM NAME — East Coast:  It’s simple it’s clean it’s to the point. It’s a man with the good sense to at least be like “YANNO WHAT I can’t think of a team name right nowand I don’t want to, rather than calling myself the ‘East Coast Coronas’ or something shameful.” I assume that was roughly the thought process. Very “Washington Football Team” of them.

 

OWNER MOST LIKELY TO DIE BEFORE SEASON’S END— ANY ONE OF YOU. Literally any one of you can die at any moment this year. Ditto for anyone and everyone you love. That’s generally the case any year I guess but in 2020 that is EXTRA THE CASE so it would be wrong to try and flip the coin here to decide whom is most susceptible to covid-19 (between Brian and Rojo though).

 

“FIRST HALF” LVP (Pitcher):  Matthew Boyd (LL)  –  19.1 IP, 22 ER, 18 Ks, 10.24 ERA

honorable mention:  Madison Bumgarner (RRF)

 

“FIRST HALF” MVP (Pitcher):  Shane Bieber (OGFC)  –  34.2 IP, 5 ER, 5 QS, 4 Ws, 54 Ks, 1.30 ERA

In a year where most pitchers don’t even bother going the distance to be eligible for a win LET ALONE throwing a QS, Bieber having 5 here is a real sight to behold. Dylan Bundy having 4 is a surprise to say the least and Freeland having 4 (3 at home) is more SHOCKING than anything (with 4.56 K/9, no less) but this category wasn’t “most shocking ‘first half’ (pitcher)” now was it.

honorable mention:  Kyle Freeland (‘Topes), Dylan Bundy (EC), Trevor Bauer (BBS)

 

“FIRST HALF” LVP (Hitter):  Scott Kingery (#IWTTGAAIGWC19)  –  47 ABs, 2 Rs, 1 RBIs, .180 OBP

There are some uglyyyyyy seasons all over the place out there but nobody has done absolutely nothing over more ABs than this man. Impressive in a way.

honorable mention:  Dee Gordon (#IWTTGAAIGWC19), anyone other than Edwin Encarnacion

 

“FIRST HALF” MVP (Hitter):  Fernando Tatis Jr. (LTBS)  –  90 ABs, 20 Rs, 13 2Bs, 1 3B, 20 HRs, 52 RBIs, 7 SBs, .462 OBP

This is the only man I ever regret trading tbh, in alllll my years of fantasy, cuz that hair is so FUN and I think him and Tim Anderson would have been best buds and just yea. Who knows how much of this can be ~kept up~ but just an unfortunate situation regardless.

honorable mention:  Mike Yastrzemski (LTBS), Brandon Lowe (LTBS)

 

 

 

 

“MID-SEASON” POWER RANKINGS:

 

1.)  Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz (5-1-1)

       Preseason Rank:  1 (#3 at end of year though :))

The beauty of this season is either this team doesn’t win the title, in which case I declare the season totally valid, or they DO win the title in which case I declare the season a fraud. A lot of people had to die to keep Doch from truly being able to win three years in a row but here we are. Their sacrifices are appreciated. So the BAD NEWS is they lead in every offensive category except steals. That’s probably the bad news. And the most concerning aspect of the year thus far is the fact that the ButtSliderz have the top 3 league “MVP” candidates and two of them are relative schmucks. If you’re looking for better news I guess it’s uhhh idk Verlander injury? Bellinger has been shitty? They have the second fewest wins and second-worst ERA? I’m going to thank Robbie Ray for those sorts of things and just avoid talking about all of the pitchers they have outside of those guys that are actually pitching fairly well and just MOVE ON.

     League-leading Cats:  6 (Rs, 2Bs, 3Bs, HRs, RBIs, OBP)

League-worst Cats:  0

 

“First Half” Team MVP:  Fernando Tatis Jr. (83 ABs, 16 Rs, 5 2Bs, 1 3B, 9 HRs, 21 RBIs, 5 SBs, .382 OBP)

“First Half” Team LVP:  Ozzie Albies (44 ABs, 4 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 HR, 6 RBIs, .196 OBP)

 

2.)  River City Fightin’ Margs (5-1-1)

       Preseason Rank:  5

I’m confused by it, I TRULY AM. I s’pose what we are seeing here is some confluence of Matt Olson & Xander Bogaerts being good, Machado rebounding, Harper being more productive across 55 ABs than a lot of guys are off 85, etc. have the Margs right back in the mix of things one year after missing the playoffs. Of course nobody misses the “playoffs” this year but BESIDES THE POINT. The point is this team would have been #1 in the rankings had they beaten the ButtSliderz last week but they didn’t (they tied) and I did the rankings a week late and here we are. The pitching has been a bit of a mixed bag but MOSTLY most of the young guys have been pitching well enough (May, Burnes, Cease, Woodruff, etc.). McCullers makes me sad 😦

     League-leading Cats:  0

League-worst Cats:  0

 

“First Half” Team MVP:  Bryce Harper (55 ABs, 17 Rs, 3 2Bs, 1 3B, 4 HRs, 12 RBIs, 3 SBs, .493 OBP)

“First Half” Team LVP:  Sean Manaea (20 IP, 17 ER, 18 Ks, 7.65 ERA)

 

3.)  EAST COAST (6-1)

       Preseason Rank:  3 (#1 EOY)

This is the team I picked to win the wholeee shebang when it’s all said and done so I guess it’s good they currently own the best record. That’s good I guess. They also currently have been getting good results out of their starting pitching (particularly Bundy, Gray, Kershaw, Carrasco) while simultaneously having to deal with injured starting pitchers and WHAT ELSE IS NEW there. For them. They’ve been dealing with that for a decade probably. Bats-wise Yelich has been so-so SO it’s been the likes of Realmuto, Rendon, and the beloved (by me, at least) Nelson Cruz that have been carrying the bats. ODDLY Dylan Bundy has been their best pitcher. Feels like that should be noted as many times as possible.

     League-leading Cats:  1 (Ws)

League-worst Cats:  1 (SBs)

 

“First Half” Team MVP:  Nelson Cruz (79 ABs, 16 Rs, 4 2Bs, 6 HRs, 21 RBIs, .416 OBP)

“First Half” Team LVP:  Amed Rosario (66 ABs, 8 Rs, 1 2B, 1 3B, 1 HR, 4 RBIs, .197 OBP)

 

4.)  OCEAN GATE FISHING CLUB (5-2)

       Preseason Rank:  2 (#3 EOY)

Typical Fishing Club just sorta hannnnnging around for the same reasons they always sort of hang around (Trout/Betts). Probably to be ultimately undone for the same reasons they’re always ultimately undone (Greg/Greggers). Trea Turner doesn’t have a SB so that’s weird and Tyler Glasnow has struggled a bit but OTHERWISE it should mostly feel like business as usual for this team. Of course they have enough big pieces to be dangerous in any playoffs matchup, but lets see which matchups they draw. I say.

     League-leading Cats:  2 (QS, ERA)

League-worst Cats:  1 (3Bs)

 

“First Half” Team MVP:  Shane Bieber (34.2 IP, 5 ER, 5 QS, 4 Ws, 54 Ks, 1.30 ERA)

“First Half” Team LVP:  Francisco Mejia (38 ABs, 5 Rs, 1 2B, 1 HR, 2 RBIs, .146 OBP)

 

 

5.)  BARNEGAT BANANA SLUGS (5-2)

       Preseason Rank:  6

The Slugs are more or less where I expected them to be by now, which is in position to be absolutely devastated by a Bo Bichette Jr. injury. That one is SAD and might be significant, but in the mean time they’re getting another really really good season out of Trevor Story and Whit Merrifield has been his usual v. valuable self and they’ve been getting Decent Dong Production (DDP) in lots of spots. So they should be pleased with that. Pitching here has run the gamet from really really good (Bauer, Lynn, Montas) to okay (Scherzer, Senzatela) to sorta bad (Gray, Gausman). Check back in two or three weeks and see what the ratios are there. And send Brian a card about Bo WOULDJYA.

     League-leading Cats:  2 (SBs, CGs)

League-worst Cats:  0

 

“First Half” Team MVP:  Trevor Story (86 ABs, 20 Rs, 5 2Bs, 1 3B, 6 HRs, 14 RBIs, 4 SBs, .396 OBP)

“First Half” Team LVP:  Eugenio Suarez (65 ABs, 7 Rs, 2 2Bs, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs, .278 OBP)

 

 

6.)  ATORIA ISOTOPES (2-5)

       Preseason Rank:  7

AS PREDICTED the ‘Topes are getting a bit ravaged by disease injuries, and yet they trudge on. This team might be one that could really benefit from a bye week in the “opening round” so it’s a shame they’re not currently in a position to do that. Don’t let the #6 ranking fool you. That’s just here because injuries and all they’re still putting up pretty strong offensive numbers, thanks to their Yanks (DJ/Judge *both currently injured*) Rox (‘Nado/Blackmon) and such. WEIRDLY their Rox (Freeland/Marquez) are also two of the few promising parts of their pitching persons. I THINK the Rockies are just playing really well right now, is the thing. Far better than the ‘Topes are. Let’s check back in with these dipshits in a few weeks as well and see how the health is.

     League-leading Cats:  1 (Holds)

League-worst Cats:  0

 

“First Half” Team MVP:  Nelson Cruz (79 ABs, 16 Rs, 4 2Bs, 6 HRs, 21 RBIs, .416 OBP)

“First Half” Team LVP:  Ozzie Albies (44 ABs, 4 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 HR, 6 RBIs, .196 OBP)

 

 

7.)  ISLAND BEACH BEARS (4-3)

       Preseason Rank:  4

I am appreciative of Nicholas Castellanos and Dinelson Lamet and Rockies Mgmt. (for finally unleashing Garrett Hampson), and appreciative of very little else. Nearly nothing else.

     League-leading Cats:  0

League-worst Cats:  0

 

“First Half” Team MVP:  Nick Castellanos (75 ABs, 15 Rs, 5 2Bs, 1 3B, 89 HRs, 1 RBIs, .353 OBP)

“First Half” Team LVP:  Edwin Encarnacion 😦 (47 ABs, 5 Rs, 2 HRs, 3 RBIs, .184 OBP)

 

 

8.)  ROJO’S RENEGADE FORCE (6-1)

       Preseason Rank:  8

Never great to have the lowest OBP in an OBP league (thanks A LOT Elvis Andrus and Mitch Garver) but it isn’t all bad for the Renegade Force O, they’ve gotten some okay production out of a few fellas. WHICH fellas you ask? Marcell Ozuna and Joey Gallo. That’s basically been it. They’ve looked far better on the pitching side but it’s been a real bitter struggle between guys that are trying to be good (Darvish, Urias, Alec Mills) and guys that are trying to be bad (Bumgarner, Cueto, Morton) fighting for the soul of the team. Might not matter if the offense remains so fucking BLEH (109 total runs scored) but just the fact that Rojo remains in the league is a real treasure. Every day is a blessing people.

     League-leading Cats:  0

League-worst Cats:  1 (OBP)

 

“First Half” Team MVP:  Yu Darvish (29 IP, 5 ER, 3 QS, 3 Ws, 27 Ks, 1.88 ERA)

“First Half” Team LVP:  Madison Bumgarner (17.1 IP, 18 ER, 13 Ks, 9.35 ERA)

 

 

9.)  LAKEHURST LEVIATHANS (0-7)

       Preseason Rank:  10

My Manager of the Year vote has to probably go to Shane here; this guy REALLY stepped up this half-“season.” Saw a hotshot new guy come in that was making eyes at his last place perch and he has risen to the occasion, to make sure he too would not win a matchup for the entire first half. I am impressed. If you’re looking for positives on this team I guess it’s that Luis Robert has been good enough and Starling Marte has been good enough (but not Merrifield/Vladito good) and Max Fried and Framber Valdez have been very solid. If you’re looking for whom to thank for the record I guess you need to start with Matthew Boyd and then I don’t really know who else. Just a gutsy gritty performance from Shane this season, is all it is.

     League-leading Cats:  1 (Saves)

League-worst Cats:  1 (ERA)

 

“First Half” Team MVP:  Max Fried (29 IP, 4 ER, 3 QS, 3 Ws, 28 Ks, 1.24 ERA)

“First Half” Team LVP:  Matthew Boyd (19.1 IP, 22 ER, 18 Ks, 10.24 ERA)

 

 

10.)  #IWTTGAAIGWC19 (0-7)

       Preseason Rank:  9

We are giving these guys a pass this year I S’POSE and it is one that is sorely needed, as they have Cliff-ian team #s right now. So Cliff-ian I’m not going to dignify them with a discussion, but YEA the holes on the roster remain wideeeeee open. So very wide open. At least Jose Ramirez has looked good again.

     League-leading Cats:  0

League-worst Cats:  8 (Rs, 2Bs, HRs, RBIs, QS, Ws, Ks, Holds)

 

“First Half” Team MVP:  Jose Ramirez (83 ABs, 16 Rs, 5 2Bs, 1 3B, 5 HRs, 18 RBIs, 3 SBs, .371 OBP)

“First Half” Team LVP:  Scott Kingery (47 ABs, 2 Rs, 1 RBIs, .180 OBP)

 

 

 

AND LO, I have more to write this week. And so I shall write it right now. And it shall be right. We gotta get to the June Power Rankings but ALSO I should get some Mid-Season Awards in here but ALSO I don’t feel like predicting which owner will die before the season ends (Doch) or which team will win the championship (maybe Doch’s) or whom has the hottest relative (definite not Doch) and all that shit. Awards shall be all business because I am a mature, non-pretentious, adult man. Let’s do those real quick:

(All stats through 06/03/19 I think….)

 

FIRST HALF ROY:  Pete Alonso (RCBD)  –  56/213, 34 Rs, 12 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 19 HRs, 44 RBIs, .335 OBP

honorable mention:  Chris Paddack (BBS)

 

FIRST HALF ROLAIDS RELIEVER OF THE YEAR:  Kirby Yates (BBS)  –  26 IP, 3 ER, 45 Ks, 22 Saves (0 BS), 1.04 ERA

honorable mention:  Roberto Osuna (LTBS)

 

FIRST HALF IMMODIUM BEDSHITTER RELIEVER OF THE YEAR:  Craig Kimbrel (ECK)  –  HE’S JUST SITTIN’ THERE…

honorable mention:  Pedro Strop (RCBD/PBX/AI/RCBD/LL)

 

FIRST HALF LVP (Pitcher):  Mike Foltyniewicz (LL)  –  38.1 IP, 26 ER, 32 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 6.10 ERA

honorable mention:  Corey Kluber (RRF)

 

FIRST HALF MVP (Pitcher):  Justin Verlander (LTBS)  –  87.1 IP, 22 ER, 103 Ks, 11 QS, 9 Ws, 2.27 ERA

honorable mention:  Hyun-Jin Ryu (IBB/RRF)

 

FIRST HALF LVP (Hitter):  Rougned Odor (RCBD/FA)  –  27/163, 22 Rs, 6 2Bs, 7 HRs, 25 RBIs, 4 SBs, .232 OBP     🙂

honorable mention:  Jose Ramirez (PBX)

 

FIRST HALF MVP (Hitter):  Cody Bellinger (LTBS)  –  79/210, 50 Rs, 13 2Bs, 1 3B, 20 HRs, 52 RBIs, 7 SBs, .462 OBP

honorable mention:  Christian Yelich (ECK), Adalberto Mondesi (LL)

 

 

AND LO, there’s your MIDSEASON AWARDS. They are a better effort than last season because last season’s MIDSEASON AWARDS was just a bunch of pictures of a dead dog so at least I’ve improved since then. We must always strive to be a bit better than our last shitty attempt at something. Write that down. And ON TO THE JULY POWER RANKINGS:

 

NEW FEATURES ALERT:  Shall be noting Top Hitter First Half MVP and Top Pitcher First Half LVP (never mind ESPN kinda kills LVP with no active stats #TeamFantrax) for each squad, one for Hitters and Pitchers which is generous of me because I don’t want to stare at your fucking teams for too long I have other things to stare at (projected starters because half my bats sit against lefties). AGAIN shall be withholding my unnecessary commentary for the teams I currently deem outta the top 6 and thus undeserving of said commentary. Deal with it dog.gif…

 

 

 

#1  –  Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz (9-0)

So I s’pose they’ve won a couple more coin flips since I last called them lucky fucks for winning a few coin flips, and by THAT I mean they’ve mostly rolled through ever since. Let’s see the numbers:  Runs 1st, Doubles 6th, Triples 9th, HRs 2nd, RBIs 2nd, SBs 5th, OBP 1st, Strikeouts 2nd, QS 2nd, CG t-1st, Wins 1st, Saves 3rd, Holds t-8th, ERA 1st, MOVES 3rd. PRETTY DOMINANT GODDAMN LINE THERE (through 9 weeks), one that certainly backs up the flawless record and one that can be thrown in Doch’s face whenever he creeps into your DMs talkin’ all sorts of “always room for improvement” nonsense. There isn’t much room for improvement here, on either side. The staff is anchored by Verlander but getting great #s from Greinke and deGrom, Buehler is rounding into form, Osuna probably did that shit but all three closers (Holland, Colome) have sub-1 ERAs and double digit Saves (lets just round up with Holland, the passage of time is an illusion). So all of this is unfortunate. The offense discussion can basically begin and end with Cody Bellinger so THAT is what I am going to do. This league wasn’t around for Bonds so the only thing that compares to this was Bryce Harper‘s bonkers 2015 season, whom’s first 2.5 months were sorta similar actually (18 HRs, 42 Rs, 43 RBIs) but still cannot….quite….compare…..to….this:  50 Rs, 13 2Bs, 1 3B, 20 HRs, 52 RBIs, 7 SBs, .462 OBP. The most dominant first 9 weeks The Backyard has ever seen I’m quite certain. WHO WOULDA THUNK IT.

So yea this team is CLEARLY the team to beat, don’t feel like I need to point that out but here we are once again. Fuck them, though.

First Half Team MVP (Hitter):  Cody Bellinger (79/210, 50 Rs, 13 2Bs, 1 3B, 20 HRs, 52 RBIs, 7 SBs, .462 OBP, 1 JROLL)

First Half Team MVP (Pitcher):  Justin Verlander (87.1 IP, 22 ER, 103 Ks, 11 QS, 9 Ws, 2.27 ERA)

 

 

#2  –  Ocean Gate Fishing Club (5-3-1)

Well well well…..IF IT ISN’T, the team I’ve claimed should re-brand as the “LessWithMores”….yanno doing a little bit. At least enough of a little bit to claim the 2nd bye if the BYBracket broke today. Show me the rankings:  Runs 7th, Doubles 2nd, Triples t-4th, HRs 5th, RBIs 6th, SBs 4th, OBP 2nd, Strikeouts 4th, QS t-3rd, CG t-3rd, Wins 6th, Saves 2nd, Holds t-8th, ERA 2nd, MOVES 10th. The offense is weirdly low in Runs and middle of the pack in most other things, I say weirdly because they STILL carry the two best fantasy hitters on the planet (maybe two of the three now, see above) in Mike Trout and Mookie Betts. Even rosier, their dynamic Cubs duo (Rizzo/Bryant) is back to actually being pretty goddamned dynamic after a few up and down campaigns. Josh Bell and Austin Meadows are all of a sudden both awesome and YANNO WHAT now I am mad at these underachievers once again let’s switch to pitching. Pitching is in many ways what sets this team apart from previous Fishing Clubs, as they now have a BUNCHA legit young arms (Glasnow RIP for now but also Luis Castillo, Shane Bieber, Max Fried, Griffin Canning) to pair with Gerrit Cole and a mildly resurgent Cole Hamels and a perhaps even more resurgent Kyle Hendricks. If this team makes some noise this season (and they can start by stopping this ButtSliderz win streak) the resurgent pitching will be behind it, methinks.

I still don’t know how this franchise hasn’t won multiple championships, would require some sort of blog DEEP DIVE, and maybe one day I get to that (very very unlikely) but for now yanno….there’s worse teams to bet on this season (the Banana Slugs).

First Half Team MVP (Hitter):  Mike Trout (57/188, 43 Rs, 14 2Bs, 14 HRs, 37 RBIs, 7 SBs, .468 OBP)

First Half Team MVP (Pitcher):  Gerrit Cole (77.2 IP, 34 ER, 116 Ks, 9 QS, 5 Ws, 3.94 ERA)

 

 

#3  – East Coast Kings (5-4)

APROPOS that I just kinda sorta gushed about a pitching staff for the #2 in the rankings (get it? cuz Greg is a piece of shit) and we now arrive on the team that spent years YEARRRS I TELL YOU as the gold standard pitching staff in the Backyard. Almost to a fault. Well this year they’ve fallen off that a bit, father time being undefeated and all. Well here’s the #s:  Runs 6th, Doubles t-4th, Triples t-6th, HRs 3rd, RBIs 3rd, SBs 2nd, OBP 2nd, Strikeouts 7th, QS t-3rd, CG t-3rd, Wins 5th, Saves 7th, Holds 9th, ERA 4th, MOVES 8th. Hey good thing Yelich is out here absolutely raking huh? Cuz the pitching, while still good, ain’t what it once was. But the hitting has been pretttttttty special, lead by the NL MVP in a world where Cody Bellinger doesn’t exist and by weirdly excellent middle infielders (Gleyber Torres, Ketel Marte, Javier Baez but a lil more expected outta him). Much like the Ravens at the height of the Joe Flacco offense, THE SCRIPT HAS FLIPPED and now hitting is carrying the pitching (really bad reference that offense was terrible). Which isn’t to say that pitching has been TERRIBLE, just perhaps not tops in the leage no mo’. Kershaw Paxton & Price (the world’s sorest law firm) are still good when healthy, Stephen Strasburg has been good in general and THUS FAR healthy. But Darvish is toast, Carrasco was unlucky and now has mono or something, Syndergaard has been a bit unlucky but also a bit worse than he’s ever been (HE IS HARVEYING). Mix that all together with a LAZY bullpen that’s carried by Brad Hand and you have a pitching staff that is vulnerable, which is a shame because the offense doesn’t appear to be.

All in all the East Coast Kings display a balance most teams can merely dream about, so don’t let some negativity over pitcher health make you think I don’t think this team can win it all cuz I do think that so you shouldn’t think I don’t think that I don’t want you thinking that I think that you think that I don’t think they can. I believe in this team more often than not, even when they miss the playoffs and win like 5 games so….yea.

First Half Team MVP (Hitter):  Christian Yelich (60/192, 46 Rs, 8 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 22 HRs, 49 RBIs, 12 SBs, .425 OBP,  1 JROLL)

First Half Team MVP (Pitcher):  Stephen Strasburg (79 IP, 28 ER, 98 Ks, 8 QS, 5 Ws, 3.19 ERA)

 

 

#4  –  River City Bad Dudes (4-4-1)

WHAT can I really say about the Dudes this time? They’re always in it, their offense has been great despite some great players being injured, blah blee blah blee blee blew. STATS ME:  Runs 2nd, Doubles 1st, Triples 8th, HRs 1st, RBIs 1st, SBs 10th, OBP 7th, Strikeouts 6th, QS 5th, CG t-5th, Wins 3rd, Saves 6th, Holds 7th, ERA 7th, MOVES 2nd. So yea just LOOK at that offense. Actually look at everything. Actually there’s a case they should probably have more wins but they don’t and fuck Mike. All those bombs and RBIs are coming with a hurt Stanton and a hurt Pollock (if these are shocking to Dudes ownership that says more about them than anything, though) and also a bit of a ho-hum campaign from Manny Machado. But Pete Alonso ain’t hurt and Matt Chapman ain’t hurt and Xander Bogaerts is having a helluva year and Bryce Harper hasn’t been ho-hum okay he’s actually been a little bit ho-hum. The pitching rankings are actually most impressive here because I don’t find a single pitcher of theirs impressive. Won’t even talk about them. Marcus Stroman is trash.

ALL IN ALL there is some nice numbers in River City and they probably find a way to make it into the playoffs and after that WHOM KNOWS, like all of these teams on this list it’s more about how everyone is playing in August than how everyone played in May. Also it looks like there will be no Banana Slugs for them to knock out, so that may be a motivational problem.

First Half Team MVP (Hitter):  Pete Alonso (56/213, 34 Rs, 12 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 19 HRs, 44 RBIs, .335 OBP)

First Half Team MVP (Pitcher):  Marcus Stroman (76 IP, 24 ER, 59 Ks, 8 QS, 3 Ws, 2.84 ERA)

 

 

#5- Rojo’s Renegade Force (4-4-1) 

This is one of my FAVORITE rosters in all the Backyard, partly because #FORCE ownership declared in pre-season they would trade their roster for any other roster in the leauge. And now look at em, ACTUALLY KINDA GOOD! Here take a look see:  Runs 3rd, Doubles 10th, Triples 10th, HRs 4th, RBIs 5th, SBs 8th, OBP 4th, Strikeouts 10th, QS t-7th, CG t-5th, Wins t-9th, Saves 9th, Holds 3rd, ERA 3rd, MOVES 7th. Weirdly low energy stuff on the doubles and triples markets but everything else looks fairly lovely to this guy, fair reader. Marcell Ozuna has been downright great and Gallo and Springer were great and are now injured and I believe they can be great again. And Devers just seems to benefit from being a Red Sawk and Goldy should be better and they’re FINALLY getting something out of Victor Robles (i traded him to Rojo 9 seasons ago). KEWT lil offense. And KEWT that they have Hyun-Jin Ryu out there dominating and Charlie Morton being very serviceable and are working through it a bit despite a rough year from Corey Kluber and a seemingly aging Bumgarner and meh Tanaka. Alright the pitching may actually be a problem. But AT LEAST they have SP-eligible Diego Castillo out there getting Saves, THE RRF ARE NOT LAST IN THE LEAGUE IN SAVES NOR ARE THEY FIRST IN THE LEAGUE IN HOLDS.

THE RRF ARE NOT LAST IN THE LEAGUE IN SAVES NOR ARE THEY FIRST IN THE LEAGUE IN HOLDS. This isn’t a typo I just wanted to hit on that point again. Apart from that though, the pitching could ultimately end up being a problem. Also fuck this guy for taking my childhood home away?

First Half Team MVP (Hitter):  Marcell Ozuna (53/216, 42 Rs, 12 2Bs, 16 HRs, 51 RBIs, 4 SBs, .324 OBP)

First Half Team MVP (Pitcher):  Hyun-Jin Ryu (73 IP, 12 ER, 69 Ks, 9 QS, 1 CG, 8 Ws, 1.48 ERA)

 

 

#6  –  Astoria Isotopes (4-5)

UGH, these PIECES OF SHIT that sort of prevented me from writing about the Lakehurst Leviathans because I had this weird code about trying to accurately nail down Power Rankings and also this new weird rule to prevent me having to write 5000 word opuses about your stupid little teams and their stupid little rosters. The 2018 FIRST LOSERS were well on their way to an epic run at the once-fabled BCS curse and now they’ve won 4 in a row and I just don’t know. Their numbers, please:  Runs 5th, Doubles 7th, Triples 1st, HRs 7th, RBIs 9th, SBs 9th, OBP 6th, Strikeouts 5th, QS 9th, CG t-5th, Wins 7th, Saves 8th, Holds 2nd, ERA 8th, MOVES 5th.   So Nolan Arenado is obviously someone that is very good that can anchor an offense (not BELLINGER GOOD, but good) so obviously that helps. What also helps is fucking Eduardo Escobar consistently begging me to give him MVP o’ the week honors. Eddy Escobar, forreal. So that’s good and fine, and Khris Davis will ultimately be good and fine, and they’ll be getting Blackmon back soon after a quick lil DL sting and Aaron Judge back soon and he has missed FOREVER. So those are important pieces that could dictate a matchup or two in the ‘Topes future. Also important will be Chris Sale continuing to shake off an awful April, German Marquez uhhh idk avoiding pitching at home somehow? Zach Wheeler finding dat positive regression would also be nice for Astoria, as would Wade Miley avoiding the LIKELY SIGNIFICANT NEGATIVE REGRESSION. It will likely be somewhat significant. But idk I’ve seen like Ervin Santana and Jason Vargas avoid it for long stretches so idk mannnnn. Also the ‘Topes were smart enough to be the team that finally picked up Ryan Pressly setup man extraordinaire so that is good. Also the ‘Topes currently have two SP eligible relievers (Gant & Romo) in their RP slots while they await Robertson & Betances returns like fucking puds. So that is bad.

I could see this team coming out the gates now and losing another 5 in a row and I could also see them winning another 4 in a row. Definitely one or the other though. so WHO KNOWS.  

First Half Team MVP (Hitter):  Nolan Arenado (80/232, 47 Rs, 16 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 16 HRs, 52 RBIs, 1 SB, .395 OBP)

First Half Team MVP (Pitcher):  German Marquez (85.1 IP, 33 ER, 83 Ks, 6 QS, 1 CG, 6 Ws, 3.48 ERA)

 

 

#7  –  Lakehurst Leviathans (4-5) 

Runs 8th, Doubles t-4th, Triples 3rd, HRs 10th, RBIs 10th, SBs 3rd, OBP 5th, Strikeouts 9th, QS 6th, CG t-5th, Wins 8th, Saves 10th, Holds 4th, ERA 9th, MOVES 4th. 

First Half Team MVP (Hitter):  Adalberto Mondesi (67/235, 35 Rs, 14 2Bs, 8 3Bs, 6 HRs, 42 RBIs, 21 SBs, .322 OBP, 3 JROLLs)

First Half Team MVP (Pitcher):  Matt Boyd (77.2 IP, 26 ER, 97 Ks, 9 QS, 5 Ws, 3.01 ERA)

 

 

#8  –  Pacific Beach X-Rayz (1-6-2) 

Runs 10th, Doubles 3rd, Triples t-4th, HRs 9th, RBIs 4th, SBs 1st, OBP 10th, Strikeouts 1st, QS t-7th, CGs 1st, Wins t-3rd, Saves 1st, Holds 6th, ERA 6th, MOVES 1st. 

First Half Team MVP (Hitter):  Austin Riley (22/67, 12 Rs, 2 2Bs, 8 HRs, 22 RBIs, .366 OBP)

First Half Team MVP (Pitcher):  Blake Snell (61.2 IP, 21 ER, 83 Ks, 7 QS, 3 Ws, 3.06 ERA)

 

 

#9  –  Island Beach Bears (4-4-1) 

Runs 4th, Doubles 8th, Triples 6th, HRs 6th, RBIs 8th, SBs 6th, OBP 9th, Strikeouts 8th, QS 10th, CG 10th, Wins 2nd, Saves 4th, Holds 1st, ERA 10th, MOVES 5th.

First Half Team MVP (Hitter):  Rhys Hoskins (59/212, 33 Rs, 12 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 13 HRs, 42 RBIs, 1 SB, .402 OBP)

First Half Team MVP (Pitcher):  Domingo German (64 IP, 26 ER, 71 Ks, 5 QS, 9 Ws, 3.66 ERA)

 

 

#10-  Barnegat Banana Slugs (2-6-1)

Runs 9th, Doubles 9th, Triples 2nd, HRs 8th, RBIs 7th, SBs 7th, OBP 7th, Strikeouts 3rd, QS 1st, CG t-5th, Wins t-9th, Saves 5th, Holds 5th, ERA 5th, MOVES 8th. 

First Half Team MVP (Hitter):  Trevor Story (68/232, 53 Rs, 12 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 15 HRs, 42 RBIs, 10 SBs, .360 OBP, 2 JROLLs)

First Half Team MVP (Pitcher):  Max Scherzer (85.1 IP, 29 ER, 117 Ks, 10 QS, 3 Ws, 3.06 ERA)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

June Power Rankings/Midseason Awards, Finito. Clearly the Midseason Awards peaked like two years ago, clearly I do not care.