2018 TROLL SERIES VOLUME 2: FINALLY IT CAN BE DONE, THE DEFINITIVE TOP 10 BACKYARD CHAMPIONS OF ALL TIME

Where will last year’s X*Rayz rank (asterisk and all)?  I WILL DECIDE AND ONLY ME

 

Consider this a bit of a Troll For Champions, as I’m sure everyone feels like their team was the best championship team OF ALL TIME and mostly everyone there is wrong. It is also a bit of a troll because I am doing VERY LITTLE research here. So finally, as a labor of love, and since we finally have 10 league champions, I will rank them all. The last troll article had some rules let’s get some more rules in here.

The Rules:

  • FIRST RULE, is more of a statement and that statement is I don’t have access to any league pages before like 2013. So really I am the worst possible person to compile a top ten. HERE IT IS ANYWAYS.
  • Previous season result MATTERS, in the obvious ways you will expect it to matter. aka teams that win multiple years in a row should obviously be PRAISED BY ALL.
  • Regular season stats matter A BIT, particularly since I only have that to go off of for a couple of seasons. 
  • But playoff run also matters, particularly since I only happen to know the playoff runs for a couple of seasons. Alright let’s get to it, I don’t even think I needed to list rules but I copy and pasted the top from last time for some reason ANYWAYS HERE WE GO…

 

 

 

 

 

NUMBER 10

 

2017 – POINT LOMA X*RAYZ:   10-6-2

 

Notable Performers:  Jose Ramirez, Dee Gordon, Billy Hamilton, Elvis Andrus, Daniel Murphy, Chris Archer, Robbie Ray, Jeff Samardzija, Edwin Diaz, Dellin Betances

 

Why They’re Number Ten:  BECAUSE THEIR BCS #NimmoGate CONTROVERSY NEARLY RUINED US ALL. I love this particular roster and was a big fan of their playoff run, but lets face it the BCS uhhh “incident” was a bit o’ a shitshow. And since that shitshow was mostly due to a terrible rule established by this team’s OWN OWNER that kinda seals their fate as the number ten here. Which doesn’t at all take away from the fact that Odom has taken home the chip (or co-taken co-home) in 4 of 7 seasons in the league which is plenty fucking impressive. And I thank him for Rhys Hoskins in a roundabout way (assuming Rhys works out).

 

 

 

NUMBER 9

Image result for vulcan death grip

 

2011 – JIMBO’S VULCAN DEATH GRIP:   9-11

 

Notable Performers:  Mike Napoli, Elvis Andrus, Michael Young, Carlos Gonzalez (half the season), Hanley Ramirez (the other half), Joe Mauer (the other half but also always hurt), CC Sabathia (half the season), Cole Hamels (the other half), an erratic Ubaldo Jimenez, David Robertson

(special thanks to Odom for helping me remember some guys)

 

Why They’re Number Nine:  REGULAR SEASON RECORD is what does this team no favors. Despite a fan favorite name and an impressive championship in their eventual inaugural season as owners, the facts are the facts and the facts are this is the only team to ever win a championship with a sub-.500 regular season record. I am also going to claim this team INVENTED THE BLOCKBUSTER, because this thing is full of wild claims without sources. A midseason deal sent That record CC and CarGo to the WVU Bombers or whatfuckingever for Mauer, Hanley Ramirez, and Cole Hamels and those three would be staples on the team for YEARS TO COME. Mauer would go on to homer in a first round matchup against WVU which was amusing because he hit all of 3 HRs that season. But YEA THE RECORD, the record gave the doubters plenty of fuel with which to doubt. DOUBT THAT WOULD PROVE FOOLISH. clearly it was a star, t from humble beginnings for the Odom/Sean dynasty to be.

 

 

 

NUMBER 8

Image result for brian wilson 2009

 

2009 – SCARLET KNIGHTS:   15-7

 

Notable Performers:  JASON BAY, Brian Wilson ALLEGEDLY for the latter half, Miguel Cabrera, Prince Fielder, Robinson Cano, Jorge Posada, Travis Hafner maybe?, Vernon Wells maybe?, Miguel Tejada maybe?, Dustin Pedroia for part of the season? Some other closers? I dunno how the fuck should I know…

 

Why They’re Number Eight:  PRE-COMPETITIVE ERA. Because while a 15-7 record is nothing to sneeze at, they played in the pre-competitive era free of minor league systems and excessive numbers of keepers and so on and so forth. Also their BCS victory came at the hands of a notable idiot with a 12-10 record, unlike the next 15-7 team on the list that defeated a fellow 15-7er to capture a crown. FUN FACT: I won the fantasy football championship this season thanks to a one CJ2K. So that is a fun fact.

 

 

NUMBER 7

Image result for kershaw takeover

 

2010 – TOMS RIVER TAKEOVER:   15-7

 

Notable Performers:  CLAYTON KERSHAW I AM SURE, Roy Halladay and his NINE CGs I am sure, Justin Upton, Jon Lester, Juan Pierre?, injury-hampered Justin Morneau? injury-hampered J-ROLLLLLLLL, Dan Uggla?, Tim Hudson?, hopefully kept Kelly Johnson through the tough times cuz 2010 was his masterpiece?

 

Why They’re Number Seven:  SUPERIOR BCS MATCHUP. AGAIN this comes in the era of a bunch of shitty owners shitting around, BUT this particular 15-7 squad edges the previous due to a seemingly more challenging BCS matchup. No idea who really made up this roster (heavy speculation based on ’08 draft above), but I DO see they dropped a ridiculous 81 RBIs (still the all-time record) and 70 Runs on their poor Week 16 opponent. So I suspect they had some strong offensive players. Feel pretty confident in this guess.

 

 

 

NUMBER 6

Image result for mike trout symbol

 

2016 – OCEANGATE TROUT FISHING CLUB:   11-7-2

 

Notable Performers:  Mike Trout, Kris Bryant, Anthony Rizzo, Mookie Betts, Todd Frazier, Trea Turner, Ian Desmond, Corey Seager, Jose Fernandez, Francisco Rodriguez

 

Why They’re Number SIX:  GENERAL ROSTER TALENT. This team had done such an excellent job of SQUANDERING their elite talent for years that I campaigned a few times for them to change their name to the LessWithMores, but in 2016 they finally got it done. They entered the playoffs as the #4 seed and advanced out of the first round via a tie with the #5 seed but BY GOD, they still got it done. Mostly unimpressive playoff performance aside. They got it done. Good for them. I rank them this highly simply because they got it done in THE COMPETITIVE ERA and also because their roster was good enough to likely beat pretty much any other team on this list (provided they weren’t MISMANAGED INTO THE GROUND).

 

 

 

NUMBER 5

 

2015 – RIVER CITY CUBAN MISSILES:   12-6-2

 

Notable Performers:  Anthony Rizzo, Jose Abreu, Manny Machado, Bryce Harper, Chris Davis, Jose Bautista, Jon Lester, Garrett Richards, Jacob DeGrom, Zach Britton

 

Why They’re Number Five:  POSTSEASON DOMINANCE. The interesting thing to ME here is I’ve been able to look at a few “roster summaries” here and this one appears to be one of the more unimpressive ones stats-wise (pitching especially) AND YET can’t deny this postseason performance. Not only did the Cuban Missiles grab the #1 seed, but they won their two playoff matchups by a combined score of 23-3-2. I dunno that feels like it may be some kind of record. The Missiles defeated team rmac 11-1-2 in the second round and the fresh on the scene Barnegat Banana Slugs 12-2 in the BCS, effectively steamrolling the competition in a way that needs to be acknowledged here. And it has been acknowledged. So now lets move on.

 

 

 

NUMBER 4

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2008 – RIVER CITY MASHERS:   19-3

 

Notable Performers:  I mean NO IDEA one might think, because I am blocked from accessing these old rosters. BUT, I can piece together the probable notable performers from a recap of the league’s first draft and so here they are – Jose Reyes, Carlos Beltran, David Wright ‘scuseeee me, Mark Teixeira, Adam Dunn, Jhonny Peralta, Raul Ibanez, Roy Oswalt, Brad Lidge

 

Why They’re Number Four:  HELLUVA RECORD. Truthfully this team may have earned the right to be higher (NOT MUCH HIGHER) but I just wasn’t involved back then and I just do not know what to tell you. But yea, 19-3 is a nice fucking record and a little league history blurb from the blog tells me they whomped Cliff in the BCS (11-2-1) after narrowly edging out Ryan’s “Tar Heels” in the second round (7-6-1 on a .3812 to .3810 OBP advantage) and good on them. Looks like a damn fine year. Way to go Mashers.

 

 

NUMBER 3

Image result for edwin encarnacion dinner

 

2012 – TAMPA BAY TWO-TIME TWO-TIME (strange name):   11-9

 

Notable Performers:  FUCKING AARON HILL (everybody look up Aaron Hill’s 2012 please, he had two cycles that year, thank you), Edwin Encarnacion, Hanley Ramirez, Joe Mauer, Nick Swisher, Cole Hamels, an erratic Tim Lincecum, Craig Kimbrel, Kenley Jansen,David Robertson

 

Why They’re Number Three:  BECAUSE WE WENT BACK TO FUCKING BACK. Has yet to be repeated, is a very tough thing to do I believe time has told. Our second championship team merely flipped the record from our first championship team (from 9-11 to 11-9) but put together a solid postseason run and grabbed their second in a row AND THAT IS IMPRESSIVE. Allllll the years previous and alllll the years since that hasn’t been done (not counting our third in a row), so that needs to be rewarded with this particular ranking.

 

 

 

NUMBER 2

Image result for griffey swingman logo

 

2014 – PINE LAKE SWINGMEN:   16-3-1

 

Notable Performers:  Carlos Gomez, Paul Goldschmidt, Justin Upton, Adrian Gonzalez, Anthony Rendon,  Dee Gordon, Clayton Kershaw, Felix Hernandez, Sonny Gray, Greg Holland (team was fucking stacked though I should more or less list the whole offense)

 

Why They’re Number Two:  This team impressed the shit outta me because of their SUB 100 MOVE SEASON. Also the team was stacked and set multiple season records including Runs, HRs, and Strikeouts (Ks being an all time record to this very day). But back to the moves, maybe this wasn’t always the case but in the modern era here movement is life; all serious competitors routinely hit triple digits with their moves in-season. The Pine Lake Swingmen of 2014 only needed 98 moves to grab the #2 seed in the regular season (13-6 record, 3Peat Offendaz #1 at 14-7) and then march through the playoffs on the way to Ryan’s 2nd championship in five seasons. OF COURSE one will never know what might have happened if this team ran into the 3Peat Offendaz in the championship, as the 3PO lost to a 4 seed of questionable character in a strangely lazy 2nd round performance. The 3PO would have beat the #3 seed though, I think we all know that. ANYWAYS REALLY IMPRESSIVE YEAR BY THE 2014 PINE LAKE SWINGMEN, very nearly the most impressive of all time.

 

 

 

AND NUMBER 1, WHICH SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN IN DOUBT….

 

Image result for three peat

 

2013 – TOMS RIVER 3PEAT OFFENDAZ (clearly named post-parade):   16-3-1

 

Notable Performers:  Edwin Encarnacion, Josh Donaldson, Hanley Ramirez, Brett Gardner, Matt Carpenter, Cole Hamels, Anibal Sanchez, Mariano Rivera, Craig Kimbrel, Aroldis Chapman

 

Why They’re Number One:  SEEMS PRETTY CLEAR TO ME. This is the first and probably the last 3peat team this league ever saw, it started off 2-3 before winning a remarkable 14 in a row, it defeated a 16-4 #2 seed Angels in the TROUTfield via a TIE in the BCS (also defeated the TROUTfield in both regular season meetings). In case there is strangely still any doubts about this as your top team o all time, they defeated the River City Mashers in the 2nd round THIRTEEN-ZERO-ONE. I could write a thousand words about this particular season but trying this new brevity thing.

 

 

 

 

So there you have it folks, no real surprise about the particular TEAM in the top spot but….

HAHA TOOK THAT STRAIGHT FROM THE LAST TROLL SERIES POST. But yea, shouldn’t be a surprise. Feel free to try and educate me about the teams from the years of softer competition because I am sure that would be a fun and educational GroupMe conversation for the league but yea. Really this whole thing was written just to point out how impressive that 3peat season was/how impressive that 98 move season of Ryan’s was. Mission. Accomplished.

 

 

News GIF

 

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2018 TROLL SERIES VOLUME 2: FINALLY IT CAN BE DONE, THE DEFINITIVE TOP 10 BACKYARD CHAMPIONS OF ALL TIME

2018 Troll Series: Volume 1…..well maybe the only volume

Related image

 

The 2017 Troll Series happened and it was a beautiful thing and posts were written about just about every team in the league BUT, now it is 2018 and I don’t want that many troll posts.  So the challenge became, how does one devise a troll post that covers every gotdamned team in the league all it once. And the answer was simple:  TROLL WITH TRUTH. These days the harshest league-wide judgment is reserved for declaring a winner of each and every fucking trade that goes through the league office, no matter how insignificant it may be. So in keeping with that theme, I now present to you TOP TEN WORST TRADES OF 2017. Albeit with some rules so each team gets properly roasted.

The Rules:

  • I will be picking each team’s worst individual trade and then ranking those trades from least terrible to most terrible. Ergo every team shall have their worst trade in my humble and correct opinion broadcasted here (as well as some of their dishonorable mentions). Otherwise this might just be 10 morning boner trades and who wants to look at that.
  • For the most part I am trying to avoid hindsight. Hindsight may be 20/20 but so is my foresight.
  • For the most part (FOR THE MOST PART) I will try and avoid prospect trades, unless it is something truly egregious. Because prospects don’t do shit until they actually do shit. Sometimes you can disagree with a team’s valuation of their own prospect (i.e. what they gave the guy up for) but STILL that guy could end up going for a drive in the DR or something and never producing for his new club. Although to cite that sort of thing I would be violating the avoiding hindsight rule above. Alright let’s just get to the thing…

 

BUT BEFORE I DO…… a few potential 2018 Troll Posts that probably never see the light of day cuz I am too lazy to write them:

  • “Why Trevor Story Is Probably Still Overrated”
  • “Preaching How Unbiased You Are Because You Won’t Call An Insane Presidency Insane Doesn’t Make You Advanced, Also Maitan Is A Bust”
  • “Adam Duvall And Jay Bruce Are Basically The Same Person, Both Are Shittier Than Scott Schebler”
  • “It Is Truly Impressive To Roster 2017 Charlie Blackmon and 2017 Aaron Judge And Only Manage A 6 Seed (Barely)”
  • “Shane Shouldn’t Be Allowed To Trade Without League Approval”
  • “Why The 1990-1993 Buffalo Bills Are A Better Team Than The Bad Dudes”

etc. etc. etc.  Okay now onto the “bad trades” “list”:

 

 

NUMBER 10

The Trade:  

T traded Cody Bellinger, LAD 1B to MOON
T traded Scott Kingery, Phi 2B to MOON
T traded Rhys Hoskins, Phi 1B to MOON
MOON traded Nolan Arenado, Col 3B to T

What Went Wrong:  CODY BELLINGER IS LIKE A TOP 10 DYNASTY PLAYER RIGHT NOW AND HOSKINS IS PROBABLY TOP 50 AND RISING AND KINGERY IS GONNA BE A GREAT POWER/SPEED 2B YOU JUST WATCH AND FUCK YOUUUUU ‘TOPES. I didn’t say this was all gonna be super logical. I am sure Nolan will do fine.

Isotopes Dishonorable Mention:  Trading Kimbrel for Gleyber, that felt like a prospect overpay (my prospect rule doesn’t necessarily extend to Dishonorable Mention, also I am sure I am going to break it any moment now). 

 

NUMBER 9

The Trade: 

RRF traded J.T. Realmuto, Mia C to rmac
rmac traded Jackie Bradley Jr., Bos CF to RRF

What Went Wrong:   Rojo gave up the GREAT J.T. Realmuto (our league’s top catcher in 2017 according to ESPN Player Rater) for suckass Jackie Bradley Jr. (24th best CF according to ESPN Player Rater) is WHAT WENT WRONG. I dunno getting the RRF to trade is like fucking pulling teeth it seems.

RRF Dishonorable Mention:  I dunno they traded away Ozzie Albies once, ALBIES IS GREAT NOBODY SHOULD HAVE TRADED HIM.

 

NUMBER 8

The Trade:  

RRF traded Matt Kemp, LAD RF to rmac
RRF traded Yu Darvish, FA SP to rmac
rmac traded George Springer, Hou RF to RRF
rmac traded Yasiel Puig, LAD RF to RRF
rmac traded Rafael Devers, Bos 3B to RRF

What Went Wrong:  This is a tough one because the then-Punchouts-now-Warriors DID get top talent back in Yu Darvish, but they may have finally pushed their Pitching First agenda too far on this one. Springer is a stud Puig remains a useful piece and Devers, despite being a filthy Red Sawk, projects to be a well above average fantasy asset as soon as this season. For a team that had plenty of pitching even without Yu, Yu gotta think this was giving up too much.   

Now-named Warriors Dishonorable Mention:  I dunno man their 2017 ledger is pretty clean otherwise.  

 

NUMBER 7

The Trade: 

BBS traded Josh Hader, Mil SP to LTBS
LTBS traded Daniel Vogelbach, Sea 1B to BBS

What Went Wrong:   Anddd here it is, PROSPECT TRADE. The rule is meaningless. LORD this one looks bad, kinda makes me want to put it ahead of the next one but the next one was part of that ill-received championship offense teardown so let’s leave that there.  But EW.  We all know how Lobman’s Shark saga went.  He had to sit there and watch him be terrible for most of the goddamned year before finally (mercifully) giving up on him prior to the playoffs, which lead to unethical PTBNL deals and un-saavy deals for Tyson Ross and hey what do yanno I am basically summarizing this whole goddamned list.  Chris Archer went on to be really really good for Odom (cuz Ryan traded him for Strasburg, FAR MORE DEFENSIBLE) in 2015, before being more like just okay last year, but this year he will probably be good again next year.  Carlos Rodon will maybe be really really good any day now or maybe he will just be like Francisco Liriano, but in any case those two good to great pitchers for that one awful Shark year that did not work out one bit.

Slugs Dishonorable Mention:  Trading Antonio Senzatela for Dominic Smith was a bad trade because I was forced to mention it on this website. 

 

NUMBER 6

The Trade: 

LTBS traded A.J. Pollock, Ari CF to SAD!
SAD! traded Eduardo Nunez, FA SS to LTBS
SAD! traded Kevin Maitan, Atl SS to LTBS

What Went Wrong:   Poor AJ Pollock always getting tossed around this league, but yea TOO MUCH PROSPECT HUMPING for Doch in his first year of business. Maitan has already lost his luster and Nunez is Nunez, I don’t blame team SAD! for making this one 100 times out of 100.  FUN FACT:  SAD! also traded Ronald Acuna to acquire Nunez. SAD!

BackdoorSliderz Dishonorable Mention:  The haul given up to get Acuna is probably a weeee bit of an overpay, especially because ONCE AGAIN Fernando Tatis Jr.  is going to the be the top prospect next year. Gimme the SS over the OF any day, “generational talent” OF be damned.  

 

NUMBER 5

The Trade:  

T traded Matt Moore, Tex SP to XYZ
T traded Tyler Naquin, Cle CF to XYZ
XYZ traded Khris Davis, Oak LF to T

What Went Wrong:   The X*Rayz are always fast and furious traders and with that you are gonna have a few missteps, I certainly believe they “win” more than they “lose” with these things. HOWEVER Moore kinda sucks and Naquin kinda sucks and Khris Davis kinda just socks dongs year afer year after year.

X*Rayz Dishonorable Mention:  Didn’t love them trading Ozzie Albies (who is great) for fuggin Hernan Perez and Steven Wright (neither are great), didn’t love giving up a stock as high as it will ever be Matt Olson for Jorge Mateo (though I now love Mateo)

 

NUMBER 4

The Trade: 

MOON traded Andrew McCutchen, SF CF to rmac
MOON traded James Paxton, Sea SP to rmac
rmac traded Kyle Seager, Sea 3B to MOON
rmac traded Tim Beckham, Bal SS to MOON
rmac traded Michael Wacha, StL RP to MOON

What Went Wrong:   YEESH what was I doing here. I know I was trying to purge everyone that failed me in my playoff matchup so I believe at one point I wanted just to straight up McCutchen for Kyle Seager, and yet somehow I end up accepting a proposal where I just THROW IN James Paxton for fucking Michael Wacha and Tim Beckham. That is a tough one to make sense of.

Babadooks Dishonorable Mention:  Trading Victor Robles (and Roman Quinn) for Keon Broxton doesn’t look very good right about now, one could also say I’ve given up a few prospects a bit freely but SO WHAT.

 

NUMBER 3

The Trade: 

MOON traded Eduardo Nunez, FA SS to SAD!
SAD! traded Ronald Acuna, Atl CF to MOON

What Went Wrong:   HINDSIGHT TRADE. Because rules are meant to be broken. Obviously this one looks more horrible now than it did then but I DID MY RESEARCH and knew what I was getting, the Trout Fishing Club shoulda done theirs.

Fishing Club Dishonorable Mention:  While we are doing hindsight trades they also traded Albies for AJ Reed, also traded Rhys Hoskins as part of a PACKAGE for Joe Jimenez. Also trading Buster Posey for Josh Bell and Clint Frazier doesn’t look great now that the Fishing Club literally don’t have a fucking catcher.

 

NUMBER 2

The Trade: 

T traded Trevor Rosenthal, STL RP to RCBD
RCBD traded Freddie Freeman, Atl 1B to LTBS

What Went Wrong:   OH WAS THIS FROM 2016? I DO NOT CARE BECAUSE I AM STILL NOT OVER IT. Because it is from 2016 (and because the Morning Wood are more prolific in their missteps) I will leave this one at #2, but it remains so colossally fucking awful that I want it on a 2017 worst trades list even if it wasn’t actually from 2017. Shame on everyone that stood by and watched it happen.

Bad Dudes Dishonorable Mention:  AS FOR 2017 TRADES, Carlos Martinez Mitch HanigerVlad Guerrero Jr. for Yoenis Cespedes Jharel Cotton feels like it hasn’t aged great. Also he traded Dylan Bundy for Francisco Rodriguez last February and K-Rod is so olddddd and Bundy is (still) full of promise (maybe).

 

NUMBER 1

The Trade: 

WOOD traded Noah Syndergaard, NYM SP to rmac
WOOD traded Carson Fulmer, CWS SP to rmac
rmac traded Brandon Belt, SF 1B to WOOD
rmac traded Felix Hernandez, Sea SP to WOOD

What Went Wrong:   AND A FULL PIVOT BACK TO THE “NO HINDSIGHT” RULE. Just to make this “column” if you will as frustrating of a read as possible. Obviously Syndergaard got injured last year and gave rmac little to nothing but AT THE TIME of trade he was coming off a prettttty brilliant 2016 and the Morning wood still parted with him for fucking Brandon Belt and a washed up King Felix. Also 24 hours earlier I offered Joey Votto for Syndergaard and it was declined about 15 minutes before this trade was processed. So yea. But really this isn’t about picking any one QTCMW trade, pick your own personal favorite and put it in here. If it wasn’t for me handing this guy catchers for free and good prospects I don’t know where he would be (in the same spot I guess).

Morning Wood Dishonorable Mention:  God IS THERE A CHARACTER LIMIT FOR DISHONORABLE MENTION? Packing Sano and Lindor (and Harvey but whatever) in a trade was bad, acquiring Robbie Ray from Odom and then trading him BACK to Odom 1.5 months later for Christian Arroyo Jorge Bonifacio Chris Tillman was bad (MY GOD WHAT WAS THIS), trading Whit Merrifield for Starling Marte but inexplicably throwing in Vlad Jr. was bad, Kyle Seager for Carson Fulmer was bad (had already traded away Fulmer above, you see), Gleyber Torres for K-Rod and Frankie Montas I wouldn’t term good, ditto for Brent Honeywell for Ender Inciarte, and at this point maybe I am just being too hard on the ole’ erections but still yea just do a bit better going forward please.

 

 

So there you have it folks, no real surprise about the particular TEAM in the top spot but really I want to commend the league. For this troll post was harder to write than I thought it was gonna be, most teams make mostly sound decisions in the trade game (hiccups can happen). LOOKING FORWARD TO TRADING WITH YOU ALL THIS SEASON, if I feel like it, which I may at some point but also may not. You can always trade with Odom at least.

 

 

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2018 Troll Series: Volume 1…..well maybe the only volume

NEW YEAR NEW TRADES: JANUARY 2018 ROUNDUP

new-year-4
This came up in a “2018 happy new year” search and I am not sure why BUT I DO LOVE IT SO….

 

 

Oh how I dream of a day where I figure out a concise (yet FUN[!]) way of going about these trade reviews that I find acceptable, to me.  Because I am the only important member of my audience.  But for now NEW YEAR NEW FORMAT ATTEMPT, Rose-y and Thorn-y MLB Comps and me attempting to anger people by attempting to analyze their thought process and shit like that.  Winners are obviously my humble and correct opinion, your mileage may vary.

Let’s look at what January hath brought us thus far shall we?  [UPDATING]

 

 

 

 

The TRADE?

 

The WHO?

Morning Wood Return

JAKE BAUERS, 22.25 year old Rays 1B/OF prospect of some repute. Most famous for hitting a lot of dongs in spring training last year and then not even SNIFFING the major league roster cuz the Rays are dicks. Hit 13 HRs, stole 20 bags, OBP’d at .368 at AAA last year. WHICH IS PRETTY SEXY WHAT WAS I DOING. These latest overall prospect ranks are from like July or some shit (except MLB.com who knows what they are doing and they are as follows:  Baseball America Top 100- 66  , BP Top 50- N/R, MLB.com top 100- 73.  Rose-y MLB Comp:  Brandon Belt     Thorn-y MLB Comp:  James Loney  

JACK FLAHERTY, 22.22 year old Cardinals SP whom probably deserves better than just getting tossed in deals all willy nilly but hey the Banana Slugs started it by dropping him. 8.96 K/9 and a 2.71 ERA (4.10 FIP) in 85 AAA innings in 2017 (he also did some stuff in AA but whatever), then 8.44 K/9 and 6.33 ERA (5.27 FIP) in a 21 inning cup of coffee. I suspect he is better than that debut and so does most of the prospect lists, albeit probably were prior to that debut (but whatever 21 inning ain’t shit). Baseball America Top 100- 57  , BP Top 50- N/R, MLB.com top 100- 48.  Rose-y MLB Comp:  Sonny Gray     Thorn-y MLB Comp:  Ricky Nolasco

 

MooniniteZ Babadooks Return

JP CRAWFORD, all but 23 year old Phillies SS prospect whom has been their top prospect like 3 years running but has slowly fallen from grace everywhere else. To illustrate, BA had him in their top 15 in all of baseball from 2014-2016 and you can see where he is at now below. Hit 15 HRs and OBP’d .351 at AAA last season. Then came up and THAT ALL DISAPPEARED. Except the OBP that stayed (.356). Baseball America Top 100- 92  , BP Top 50- 20, MLB.com top 100- 54.  Rose-y MLB Comp:  Xander Bogaerts     Thorn-y MLB Comp:  Freddy Galvis Plus OBP Minus Power

 

The WHY?

THIS ONE is pretty easy since I complete know half of the thinking. The MooniniteZ Babadooks were thinking Lewis Brinson might not be up to start the season and Scott Kingery probably gets held back til May or June and they wanted JP’s 60 High Minors ABs to bridge the gap until Kingery or Willy Adames or SOMEBODY steps up. There is also the chance JP turns out to be as good as he was supposed to be and then he can stay. May be one of those “better baseball player than fantasy baseball player” types however.

The Bonerz were thinking they weren’t too attached to JP when the MoonZ ‘Dooks came calling, and their asking price was minors folks and the MooniniteZ Babadooks just kinda willingly threw Flaherty in there so what the fuck. The Bonerz are pretty set up the middle but less so at 1B, hence Jake Bauers might fill that void as soon as May or June or even OPENING DAY who knows. I do have it on good authority they could have had Anthony Alford instead but chose Bauers, so yanno debate that amongst yourselves if that was right or wrong or what.

 

The WINNER?

THE MORNING WOOD. As with most of my dealings with this franchise it wasn’t about winning or losing. It was about 60 measly High Minors ABs in April and freeing up a MI spot to an entire year’s worth of minors guys. #AprilWinsMatter

 

 

 

The TRADE?

Also the Bad Dudes receive the Banana Slugs 2nd Round Spring Draft Pick WOO FUCKING HOO

 

The WHO?

Bad Dudes Return

JAKE ARRIETA, 31.77 year old SP WHO NOBODY EVEN WANTS RIGHT NOW. If you are the Bad Dudes you have to be concerned nobody signs him and he just quietly retires and fades into the ether. If he doesn’t do that, you might get a decent workhorse here. who knows what you are getting here.  8.71 K/9 and a 3.53 ERA (4.16 FIP) in an up and down 2017. Without such ups and downs the Slugs would never have parted with him, as he was dominant in 2014 and 2015 and pretty fucking good in 2016. What 2018 holds we shall I guess find out (assuming somebody signs him).

ZACH BRITTON, 30 year old Orioles closer that keeps fucking injuring himself. Logged 37 injured innings in 2017 and the Ks were all gone and he was all weird (6.99 K/9, 2.89 ERA, 3.40 FIP). Prior to last year’s mess he rode a nasty sinker to nasty numbers, including 47 Saves and a 0.54 ERA (1.94 FIP) in 2016. But now he ruptured his Achilles and will miss probably like six months if everything goes WELL. So again who knows what comes of this man in 2018.

JOE JIMENEZ, 22.9 year old Tigers reliever and likely future closer if he keeps it together. 12.96 K/9 and a 1.44 ERA (2.42 FIP) in 25 AAA innings in 2017, then 8.05 K/9 and LIT THE FUCK UP TO A TUNE OF 12.32 ERA (5.84 FIP) in a 19 inning MLB stint. He is probably better than that but yanno, gotta watch those walks and then watch those dingers following those walks  Rose-y MLB Comp:  Jeurys Familia     Thorn-y MLB Comp:  The list of flamed out relievers is long, so sure Bruce Rondon (low hanging fruit)

 

Banana Slugs Return

JIMMIE SHERFY, 26 year old reliever for the DBacks and HELL he might be the closer sometimes, I have no idea what they are doing there. 11.20 K/9 and a 3.12 ERA (3.62 FIP) in 49 AAA innings in 2017, then 7.59 K/9 and ZERO RUNS ALLOWED (2.03 FIP) in 10.2 innings for Arizona. 10.2 innings is not much to go off of, but I have seen AT LEAST one blog saying he should be Arizona’s closer and that counts for something around here because blogs tell the truth. Supposedly his mechanics used to be a mess with the walks to go along with it but now those have been smoothed out? Supposedly? Fastball Curveball Changeup pitcher, and in his short AZ stint through the curve more than the 93 mph “heat” (50.6 % CB 47.4% FB). NOT ON PROSPECT LISTS STOP ASKING.  Rose-y MLB Comp:  David Robertson (nailed it)     Thorn-y MLB Comp:  Justin Grimm (nailed it)

ERVIN SANTANA, 35 year old Twins SP who just put together the season of his fucking life. 211 IP, 16-8, 5 COMPLETE GAMES (3 CG SOs), 7.11 K/9 and a 3.28 ERA (4.46 FIP). Look man……every year some pitchers have this sorta year, they totally do not deserve to be good and yet they are good. OBVIOUSLY credit where credit is due, you have to have your shit working to throw 3 shutouts. I would not expect a repeat performance in 2018 (he is 35) but he is also economical with his pitch counts, and the Twins don’t care if his arm falls off anyways, so don’t rule out a few key CGs for the Slugs.

WADE DAVIS, 32.25 year old closer who has taken his talents to Colorado after a year with the Cubbies. 12.12 K/9, 32 Saves, 2.30 ERA (3.38 FIP). Look man…..over the past couple of years Wade Davis has been like 4th or 5th best reliever in all of baseball at worst. He is good. He is also headed to Coors and those issues, but I am going on record to say I think he can hack it. Gave up 6 HRs last year (58.2 IP) but none in 2016 (43.1 IP), 3 in 2015 (67.1 IP), none in 2014 (72 IP). He good.

 

The WHY?

For the Bad Dudes, the regular season is but a prelude to the postseason and I have to think this deal had a little bit of that in mind. Zach Britton won’t contribute until mid-summer if at all, perhaps there’s hope for Joe Jimenez to be established by then as well, Arrieta either is good at that point in time or he is gone. If Britton comes back and regains his pre multiple injuries form (a big IF) he is a better asset than Wade Davis (particularly Coors Wade Davis), and that’s the gamble of the Dudes here.

For the Banana Slugs, I gotta think they had heart eyes emoji for Sherfy first and foremost as they loveeeee their minors relievers (and sometimes their minors). There is also the allure of the potential for a few Ervin Santana CGs at a few opportune moments, and there is also the fact that Wade Davis is good and should still be good in Coors ONE WOULD THINK. I mean fucking Greg Holland pulled it off and Wade is better than that guy.

 

The WINNER?

THE BANANA SLUGS. Give me the Banana Slugs here, though it was pretty even and there is significant risk on both sides. However the Slugs made themselves better immediately and the Bad Dudes might have only made themselves better down the line maybe. Also I am inclined to pick against people that receive draft picks in these things because I am anti-draft pick trading. Also I MEAN IS JAKE ARRIETA EVEN GONNA PLAY THIS YEAR?

 

 

 

Future January trades will be added as they appear MAYBE.  There is also a looming ESPN shutdown, my guess is first week of February. There is also potential for all sorts of preseason content, potentially (10 teams in 10 days feels like it will return at a minimum). You have been properly warned.

 

 

 

 

 

 

NEW YEAR NEW TRADES: JANUARY 2018 ROUNDUP

OFFSEASON TRAAADE REVIEWS: MID SEPTEMBER ISH THROUGH OCTOBER EDITION

2017-leaf-metal-draft-baseball-header
The lack of analysis on this one has gone on LONG ENOUGH (not that there’s any real analysis below)

 

 

 

CHRISTMAS COMES EARLY TO THE BACKYARD, AS I HAVE EMERGED FROM A BRIEF HIBERNATION TO FEED THE FLAMES OF WINTER MEETINGS BY ANALYZING DEALS WE DID LIKE THREE MONTHS AGO.  AND EVENTUALLY SOME MORE RECENT ONES.  NEW FORMAT AS WELL, FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME. HEADING INTO 2018 WE ARE WORKSHOPPING MONTHLY TRADE REVIEWS WHERE EVERYTHING GETS NOTED, BUT ONLY THE TOP TWO OR SO TRADES IN A GIVEN MONTH GET SOMETHING APPROACHING “IN-DEPTH” ANALYSIS………
SO LETS TRY THAT NOW WITH MID SEPTEMBERI-SH THROUGH OCTOBER AS A GUINEA PIG, TO BE FOLLOWED BY NOVEMBER THROUGH DECEMBER. SHALL WE???? WE SHALL….

TRADE ROUNDUP:

 

                             NOTES  
  Sat, Oct 28
7:17 PM
BPMZ traded Mitch Keller, Pit SP to XYZ XYZ traded Mike Clevinger, Cle RP to BPMZ X-Rayz prrrrrobably won here. I mean almost definitely, but great hair on that Clevinger.
 Sat, Sep 23
2:45 AM
T traded Jorge Mateo, Oak SS to XYZ XYZ traded Matt Olson, Oak RF to T Isotopes do a good job of replacing the Rhys man.
  Fri, Sep 22
5:17 PM
RCBD traded Sean Newcomb, Atl SP to SAD! SAD! traded Sean Manaea, Oak SP to RCBD I don’t remember what this was but I think we all lost as a league here.
 Fri, Sep 22
4:31 PM
SAD! traded Clint Frazier, NYY CF to XYZ XYZ traded Raisel Iglesias, Cin RP to SAD! The OGTFC finally acquiring the closer I didn’t want to trade to them.
 Fri, Sep 22
3:19 PM
BPMZ traded Raisel Iglesias, Cin RP to XYZ XYZ traded Willy Adames, TB SS to BPMZ This was the moment the MooniniteZ officially had too many MI prospects.
 Fri, Sep 22
1:15 PM
BPMZ traded Andrew McCutchen, Pit CF to rmac
BPMZ traded James Paxton, Sea SP to rmac
rmac traded Kyle Seager, Sea 3B to BPMZ
rmac traded Tim Beckham, Bal SS to BPMZ
rmac traded Michael Wacha, StL RP to BPMZ
I AM SO ASHAMED OF THIS PARTICULAR TRADE.  See more below.
  Fri, Sep 22
11:14 AM
rmac traded Matt Kemp, Atl RF to XYZ XYZ traded David Price, Bos SP to rmac HOW MANY FUCKING PITCHERS IS ENOUGH RYAN?
 Mon, Sep 18
9:43 PM
T traded Cody Bellinger, LAD 1B to BPMZ
T traded Scott Kingery, Phi 2B to BPMZ
T traded Rhys Hoskins, Phi 1B to BPMZ
BPMZ traded Nolan Arenado, Col 3B to T THE BIGGEST BLOCKBUSTER THIS LEAGUE HAS EVER SEEN. Not sure if the new dynasty format encourages or discourages the trading of “star player” types but fuck y’all y’all soft is what I think about that.
Mon, Sep 18
11:03 AM
WOOD traded Whit Merrifield, KC 2B to BBS
WOOD traded Vladimir Guerrero Jr., Tor RF to BBS
BBS traded Starling Marte, Pit LF to WOOD
BBS traded Tyler O’Neill, StL LF to WOOD
Just wanna note that Vlad Guerrero Jr. was like a THROW IN on this deal, whereas Ronald Acuna was previously traded for 3 guys.

 

 

 

Should probably get it out of the way now that there’s A GOOD CHANCE I am missing some draft pick maneuvering up in there, because of course I am, but that’s your fault for thinking I give a fuck about your draft picks maneuvering.  That being said I’ll try and ‘member draft pick maneuvering for any deals I highlight, and in the future I’ll try and get them into the roundup. For this round of the roundup, I don’t ‘member…..

 

 

 

(Or I just won’t highlight deals where draft picks were probably involved.  MOVING ON)

 

There was enough wheeling and dealing in this stretch where I am going to cover not one or two but three deals, two of which involved myself.

 

TRADE #1 (9/18/17):

WOOD traded Whit Merrifield, KC 2B to BBS
WOOD traded Vladimir Guerrero Jr., Tor RF to BBS
BBS traded Starling Marte, Pit LF to WOOD
BBS traded Tyler O’Neill, StL LF to WOOD

NOTES/MAJOR LEAGUE COMPS:

 

WHIT MERRIFIELD, had himself a revelation of a season.  32 doubles, 6 triples, 19 dongs 34 SBs…. showed a bit on the basepaths in the minors but the dongs came outta nowhere, and even with those likely regressing if he keeps it up on the basepaths and keeps churning out the other XBHs he is a bona fide stud in this format.  Love me some Whit…..

VLAD GUERRERO JR., just tossed in the deal here as if he isn’t in the conversation for top prospect in all of baseball right now and as if he isn’t THE PROGENY OF THE GREAT VLADIMIR GUERRERO HIMSELF.  Vlad Jr. is not quite 19 but is going to end up being really really good and DIDN’T DESERVE THIS. Vlad had a .409 OBP in A ball last year.  Major League Comparison:  Hanley Ramirez or David Ortiz or Albert Pujols or something like that.

Vlad’s Recent Prospect Rankings:   

Baseball America  –   2

Baseball Prospectus – 13

MLB.com – 4

 

STARLING MARTE   is a cheater, but also a guy who was expertly marketed by the Slugs as a “20/20” type even though he simply lucked into 19 HRs LIKE ONE FUCKIN TIME and is probably more of a 15 dongs in a great year type. He can still run a pretty good bit so one would think he has the chances to put up a Whit Merrifield-esque season with less power 😉

TYLER O’NEILL I am certain was considered to be a better prospect at some point, now he is a guy that gets traded midseason to the Cardinals for Marco Gonzalez. Strikeout prone but power to all fields seems to be the book, and there’s worse books out there than that certainly. Fangraphs recently ranked him as the Cards 7th best prospect (FV 50) and labeled him a future “average regular” so SURE let us go with that. Average regular in this man’s future. But also Tyler hit 31 HRs last year in just shy of 500 ABs so maybe we are all selling him short, as I will do now. Major League Comparison:  Brett Lawrie.

Tyler’s Recent Prospect Rankings:   

Baseball America  –   CAN’T FIND EM

Baseball Prospectus – CAN’T FIND EM

MLB.com – 87

 

ANALYSIS/THE PICKING OF THE SIDES:

 

Honestly I would have paused at giving up Merrifield straight up for StarMar, so to THENNNN throw in Vlad Jr. and merely take back Tyler O’Neill….ugh. Vlad Jr. most certainly felt like the kinda guy you gotta hold onto if you’re this particular franchise, and if you’re giving him up he’s not just casually tossed into a trade he is the centerpiece of said trade. NOT YOUR BEST MOVE Q-TIP CITY, WHICH IS SAYING SOMETHING……if it wasn’t for me giving them stud pitching prospects for closers I just don’t know where that franchise would be. Probably about where they are now.   Side I Side WithBarnegat Banana Slugs

 

 

 

 

 

 

TRADE #2 (9/18/17):

 

T traded Cody Bellinger, LAD 1B to BPMZ
T traded Scott Kingery, Phi 2B to BPMZ
T traded Rhys Hoskins, Phi 1B to BPMZ
BPMZ traded Nolan Arenado, Col 3B to T

AKA THE BIGGEST TRADE THIS LEAGUE HAS EVER SEEEEEEEEEEEN

AKA   ;(

 

NOTES/MAJOR LEAGUE COMPS:

 

CODY BELLINGER, prior to having just a TERRIBLE time picking up breaking balls in the World Series (McCullers has a good curve), had himself a year last year. Unanimous ROY for the NL, 39 HRs, yada yada yada. Only 22 years old and 5 months as of writing this, and the MooniniteZ are banking on him being a reallll cornerstone for many moonz to come.

SCOTT KINGERY is the forgotten man in this deal but the MooniniteZ hope that won’t be the case for long, as he is KNOCKIN ON THE DOOR of the majors after posting 18 HR/19 SB in 69 games at AA and following that up with 8 HRs/10 SB in 63 games at AAA. The power came out of nowhere to make the Phillies dream of 20/20 but who knows if that is for real, wheels have been there for a while so you can maybe settle into more of a 10-15/30 type. The Phillies are currently frantically shopping their middle infielders partly because they know Kingery will be ready by May or June the latest. Major League Comparison:  I’m going Jean Segura BECAUSE I DON’T SEE COLOR, and because all you read is Chase Utley and that is the laziest goddamn thing.

Scott’s Recent Prospect Rankings:   

Baseball America  –   52

Baseball Prospectus – 50

MLB.com – 50

 

RHYS HOSKINS was famously RIDICULOUSLY hot at the start of his career, helping to carry the X-Rayz to the BCS title prior to being famously dropped as punishment for misgivings. 18 HRs in 50 games, cooled off a bit after swatting 11 in his first 22. MooniniteZ scouts have privately conceded they think he will be a better player than Bellinger in this format, AND NOW IT HAS BEEN PUBLICLY CONCEDED. Drinking the Rhys Kool-Aid and it is tasting delicious.

NOLAN ARENADO what needs to be said really. Top 5ish player in fantasy, top 10 absolutely, 130 133 130 are his RBI totals for the past three seasons. He is very good and I don’t want to talk about him too much.

 

ANALYSIS/THE PICKING OF THE SIDES:

 

This absolute BLOCKBUSTER clearly hinges pretty prominently on the development of the two talented rookies, as we all know what Arenado is and he will continue to be that. If you’re the MooniniteZ here you’re trading  one HR/RBI machine for what you hope will develop into two HR/RBI machines, you’re also banking on Scott Kingery being a legitimate 20/20 threat to really ease the sting of Nolan’s absence from your life. If you’re the Isotopes you likely viewed this as somewhat of a no-brainer, maybe you didn’t believe in Rhys one bit and maybe you think Bellinger levels off. One team got a top 10 fantasy player in 2018 absolutely, the other hopes it grabbed two inside the top 25. And Scott Kingery.  Side I Side WithMINE

 

 

 

 

 

TRADE #3 (9/22):

 

BPMZ traded Andrew McCutchen, Pit CF to rmac
BPMZ traded James Paxton, Sea SP to rmac
rmac traded Kyle Seager, Sea 3B to BPMZ
rmac traded Tim Beckham, Bal SS to BPMZ
rmac traded Michael Wacha, StL RP to BPMZ

 

NOTES:

 

ANDREW MCCUTCHEN  arrived in MooniniteZ camp last offseason with everyone doubting his ability to be a top fantasy contributor once again, and through May he was kinda proving everyone right. But then June and July hit and with it he went on a reallll tear and he ended up with some solid numbers (28 HRs, 94 Rs, 88 RBIs, 11 SBs  maybe this is a bit better than “solid”).  Now somebody tell Ryan he won’t have RF eligibility I don’t have the heart to break it to him…..

JAMES PAXTON, yet another season of flashes of brilliance surround by DL stints. When he is on he can be as good as anybody, as evidenced by his career high 10.32 K/9 last season. But he has a penchant for ending up on the DL during playoffs time and the MooniniteZ already had Lance McCuller soooooo……jk there really isn’t any good justification for him being involved in this deal, except that Ryan likes the Mariners and I just want my brother to be happy…..

KYLE SEAGER is also a Mariner but the TR TBD traded him away so ownership perhaps doesn’t like the Ms as much as I thought, perhaps they just liked Paxton cuz he is good. BUT SEAGER WAS ONCE GOOD, last year a “down year” by most accounts but he still ends up with 27 HRs 88 RBIs. Gotta pull back a bit on the fly balls going forward and I think he has a nice opportunity to rebound a bit in the OBP cat, Nolan Arenado he is not but a solid 3B he is….

TIM BECKHAM was like one of the better hitters in all of baseball last August, but so was Jorge Polanco and so was Eugenio Suarez so WHAT DOES THAT TELL US NOTHING (I really like Eugenio though). Beckham is a former number one pick as we all know and he has SQUANDERED most of that talent but still will be heading into his age 28 season here, a chance for growth now that he’s broken free from the Rays but also a chance he sucks and I drop him. He had 22 dongs last year which feels like his ceiling.

MICHAEL WACHA is just consistently MEH, just MEH numbers across the board last season over 30 starts.  8.58 K/9 will play in Bellcrest Park but THERE IS MORE TO PITCHING THAN Ks, even though Ks are the only things I discussed of the two pitchers in this section. Wacha’s numbers were mostly the same in both halves which is good since his rep has been that of a fader down the stretch. Won’t turn 27 until July so maybe he breaks out and I timed this right, also maybe he sucks and I cut him around the point in time where I’m gonna need to cut a pitcher or 3.

 

ANALYSIS/THE PICKING OF THE SIDES:

 

QUITE POSSIBLY, this is my least favorite trade of mine of like all time. Here’s why….. I can see Cutch and Seager cancelling out or very nearly cancelling out (Look at the last two years and TELL ME I AM LYIN, numbers similar last season and Seager’s superior in ’16). HOWEVER I am then left to contend with having traded James Paxton, frustratingly beautiful James Paxton, for Tim Beckham and Michael Wacha. Now Tim Beckham had his hot streak last August and maybe he flourishes in a full season in Bmore yada yada but there’s also a good chance he is terrible and gets dropped once one of my eleventeen middle infield prospects shows up. And Michael Wacha threw the ball pretty hard last year (95.6 avg fastball according to FG, compared to 96 for Paxton) but let’s be honest that is about where the comparisons with James Paxton end. Pax can be a top 10 pitcher if he can stay healthy for once in his goddamned life, with Wacha the upside just prrrrrrobably isn’t there at this point. And he arguably isn’t much of a better bet to be pitching during the Backyard Postseason and I will probably drop him for not being James Paxton at some point.  Side I Side WithCan’t even say mine, it’s The TR TBD here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MERRRRRRRRRRY CHRISTMAS, YOU GET THIS PIECE OF SHIT REVIEW FOR CHRISTMAS IS WHAT YOU GET.
ALSO EXPECT A NOVEMBER/DECEMBER REVIEW TO FOLLOW
ALSO EXPECT THE TROLL SERIES TO MAYBE RETURN IN 2018 PROBABLY
ALSO EXPECT A BUNCH OF REALLY BAD ATTEMPTS TO FINE TUNE THESE TRADE REVIEWS BEFORE I AM SATISFIED WITH THE END RESULT (one where they get written far, far quicker)

ALSO EXPECT RHYS HOSKINS TO BE FAR BETTER THAN YOU ALL THINK HE IS GOING TO BE…..SO………..

 

 

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OFFSEASON TRAAADE REVIEWS: MID SEPTEMBER ISH THROUGH OCTOBER EDITION

OFFSEASON TRAAAAADE REVIEW: HIS DOCHNESS EDITION

acuna
“Clearly THE BIG STORY of the early offseason trade scrum, so I support Doch’s decision here to open up this lovely article with an Acuna pic” — the one true Sean

 

 

Editor’s Note:  FINALLY SOMEBODY STEPPED UP, and so we have a Trade Review for the small flurry of deals that occurred in this past week or so. Because damned if I was planning on writing one. All words and opinions here are Dochney’s so take any issues up with him, I am merely the vessel that uploaded them to this fine website and edited any typos I noticed.

“Somebody else beautifully contributing to the blog and me actually trying to check for typos, whatta world!” — the one true Sean

 

 

Offseason Trade Reviews

 

 

By Sean Dochney

 

 

 

The newest member of the Backyard League is getting his feet wet in writing for the league.  To be honest, I can’t think of a better person to voice their opinion for the blog, because what other opinion would anyone want to hear other than mine?  Blame (the one true) Sean #1 for being physically and mentally exhausted for writing countless articles and now unleashing the biased monster known as the Dochness Monster.  Let the awesome tyrannical opinion of me reign free.  Insert Nazi propaganda here.

 

1

 

 

 

 

 

TRADE #1

 

RCBD traded Archie Bradley, ARI RP to LTBS

LTBS traded Lazaro Armenteros, OAK OF to RCBD

 

 

AB

 

Lazaro Armenteros – OAK OF

18 years old

47 pro games played between Rookie Ball and Dominican Summer League

.276/.377/.433, 4 HRs, 4 3Bs, 12 SB, 3 CS

High profile 17-year-old international signing last year by Oakland who has not played that much professionally yet.  To his credit, he did see some action in Spring Training at 17, which is impressive. But then again, I seem to remember Billy Crystal and Will Ferrell have seen Spring Training at bats, so are spring training at bats really that impressive?  Just kidding, this kid is going to be good.  It is believed he will develop some power and he does have some speed.  Way too early to tell, and way too small a sample size to discuss his on base skills, but I will anyway.  If my math is correct, he had a 9% walk rate, and a 27.5% strike out rate in his first taste of pro ball.  We will see how he progresses over the next few years, but the Bad Dudes may have reacquired a future stud prospect who doesn’t turn 19 until next May (allegedly).

 

Archie Bradley – ARI RP

25 years old

64.2 IP, 71 SO, 1.25 ERA, 2.43 FIP, 9.9 SO/9, 21 Holds

Hard-throwing Archie Bradley was converted from a starter to a reliever this season and it looked like a great move for Arizona.  He isn’t a closer at this moment but that handsome gentleman down in Lacey is sure hoping he will win the job next Spring, with old man Rodney leaving for free agency this winter.  This guy was lights out in the bullpen and will still be 25 for most of the 2018 season.  He has all the stuff to be a dominant closer for a very solid Diamondback squad.  His beard plays very well in the bullpen, because it is common knowledge that guys with sweet beards are awesome relievers, science!  He has a fastball that sits in the upper 90s that he used at around a 70% clip.  Opponents have batted .195 against that fastball with a 11.9% whiff rate.  He used his curveball around 20% rate with great success as well, with a .190 opponent batting average against.

 

Analysis

The chat voted 6 to 1 in favor of Dochney winning this trade (thanks guys!).  Both players have a ton of potential for their positions and only time will tell who “won” this trade.  Bradley may not become a closer and I (Dochney) will look like an idiot for giving up a nice little prospect for a reliever who is about to lose his SP eligibility.  Lazaro is still years away though, so this was a risk worth taking for a potential dominant closer.  Because let’s face it, Dochney by far has the worst bullpen in the league with only the ELITE (I said it!) Corey Knebel rostered at the time of the trade.  This is a major 2018 upgrade for the fan favorite BackdoorSliderz.  For the sake of the article right now, I will side with the chat on this one and say Dochney won the trade at this moment.  Lobman may have the last laugh if we go by the “2 Year Rule” that Dochney, and now apparently Odom live by.  Because a good position player will always be more valuable than a 1, maybe 2 category closer.  Simple math, you win more categories you win the matchup.

 

 

 

TRADE #2

 

OGTFC (SAD!) traded Eric Thames MIL 1B-LF to WOOD

WOOD Traded Jeurys Familia NYM RP to OGTFC (SAD!)

 

JF

 

 

Eric Thames – MIL 1B-LF

30 Years Old, turning 31 in November

.236/.348/.507, 28 HR, 54 RBI, 22 2Bs

The former Korean League MVP came out blazing in his return to REAL BASEBALL.  But by June we realized who gives a shit about Korean baseball and it seemed the league figured out this guy.  This guy’s month by month splits make me sick.  He was phenomenal in April, like best player in baseball phenomenal.  He belted 11 dingers and put up a .345/.466/810 slash line in April.  But then the honeymoon ended and he came right down to earth every other month.  His triple slash line looked decent in July, but then you go on to see this “slugger” had 4 HRs and 5 RBI for that month of July.  5 RBI! Carried by a big April, his pre-all-star game stats were 23 HRs, 43 RBI, 15 2Bs, with a slash line of .248/.374/.562.  After the all-star break has been a different story.  He has had 5 HRs, 11 RBIs, 7 2Bs, with a slash line of .212/.294/.404.  One may question if this guy is even rosterable with a second half like that.  But who knows maybe he has another hot start next year and we forget about that second half.  Weirder things have happened!

 

Jeurys Familia – NYM RP

27 Years Old, 28 in October

Who cares about stats this year, it was a lost season due to injury and domestic violence.

Familia was a stud closer for the Mets in 2015 and 2016, amassing 94 saves in those 2 seasons.  If healthy, this is a great buy low candidate for the Devil in Ocean Gate (6-6-6 record).  Familia has a career SO/9 rate of 9.1 which is not too shabby to go with his career 2.62 era.  The question is if the Mets will be good again in 2018 or at least good enough for him to have more save opportunities.  I don’t know what else to say besides I love the Mets.

 

Analysis

The people voted 4-3 in favor of Greg winning the deal in acquiring Familia.  I tend to think closers hold more value to the team they are on compared to the trade market, because let’s face it, they are a roster spot that you’re trying to gain 1 category advantage usually.  I would love to side with Shane on this one for getting a hitter, but who knows if this hitter rebounds and is even a starter next year.  If Familia is healthy and back to closing, he will be on Greg’s roster for the entirety of next season.  I get the feeling that Thames is not going to rebound and will hit the waiver wire by June, maybe even May!  Greg gets my very important, very well-respected vote for this trade.

 

 

TRADE #3

 

X*RAYZ traded Daniel Murphy, WSH 2B to WOOD

X*RAYZ traded Beau Burrows, DET P to WOOD

WOOD traded Corey Dickerson, TBR LF to X*RAYZ

WOOD traded Dinelson Lamet, SDP SP to X*RAYZ

WOOD traded Willy Adames, TBR SS to X*RAYZ

WOOD traded First Overall Selection in Spring Draft to X*RAYZ

WOOD traded First Overall Selection in Rights Draft to X*RAYZ

 

DM

 

Daniel Murphy – WSH 2B

33 Years Old in April

.322/.382/.550, 40 2Bs, 22 HRs, 88 RBIs, 86 Runs

Daniel Murphy is an elite 2B for fantasy purposes.  He was a late bloomer with the beloved Mets and has put together back to back great seasons for the hated Nationals.  He is a guy that the whole league should be happy to have on their roster.  The only downside to Murphy is his God-loving, homosexual-hating ways.  Oh, and his age!  This guy is not getting any younger, and we may have seen the best of what this homophobic second baseman has to offer.  He still has some good seasons left in the tank, maybe even 1 or 2 more great seasons.  But father time will catch up to him, like he does to all of us, and Murphy’s stats will start to slip in the next few seasons.

 

Beau Burrows – DET SP

21 Years Old in like a week

135 IP, 137 Ks, 3.20 ERA, 9.1 SO/9 in A+ and AA

Honestly who cares about this guy, not much excitement around him as a prospect.  He is just a prospect that is a sweetener for a Tigers fan in a trade.  Evidenced by his availability last week until Odom was caught cheating and was forced to add other minor leaguers.  Give Beau credit, decent minor league numbers this year even though he experienced a bit of a dip when moved up to AA ball, but he isn’t the first prospect this has happened too.  I do not hate the guy, for he has decent K numbers and who knows, maybe he settles down starting in AA next year and improves his numbers from his first taste, which saw him pitch to a 4.72 ERA.

 

Corey Dickerson – TBR LF

28 Years Old

.282/.328/.503, 32 2Bs, 26 HRs, 60 RBIs,

Hey guys, I like Corey Dickerson, he helped me get the first overall selection in the Rights Player Draft last July, ironic how now he would be traded along with the next 2 FIRST OVERALL PICKS IN BACKYARD DRAFTS.  Corey does not excite me all that much.  He is another Jekyll and Hyde type player, nice first half, followed by a rough second half.  First half he slashed .312/.355/.548, with 24 2Bs, 17 HRs, 42 RBIs.  His post all-star game numbers are not as nice.  He slashed .229/.278/.422, with 9 HRs, 18 RBIs, and 8 2Bs.  I get real skeptical when players have such poor second halves to a season.  Shows they are not making the adjustments they need to make to be successful.  I’m afraid Corey Dickerson may not be that good, but trust me, he was not the big return for Odom in this deal.  I truly believe he is a filler that Odom is hoping he gets a nice month or 2 out of before he hits the waiver wire next season.

 

Dinelson Lamet – SDP SP

25 Years Old

4.32 ERA, 1.20 WHIP, 98 IP, 123 Ks, 11.3 SO/9

I love this guy’s strike out rate!  Nice little underrated pitcher to have here.  He is a young pitcher that will only get better pitching in a friendly environment like PETCO.  He will not turn 26 until around the 2018 all-star break and there is solid upside to this guy.  98 innings is not a huge sample size, but it is a solid half season to believe in his K numbers.  Lamet needs to cut down on the walks numbers moving forward, which currently sit at 4.1 BB/9 through his first season.  These rates coincided with his 2017 AAA numbers of 4.6 BB/9, and 11.5 SO/9.  There is improvement that is needed, but plenty to like in this young pitcher.

 

Willy Adames – TBR SS

22 Years Old

.277/.360/.415, 30 2Bs, 5 3Bs, 10 HRs, 11 SB in AAA

This is a guy that Odom once traded in part of a 3 team deal to bring Mark Trumbo to Point Loma.  Trumbo has since been waived and who knows where he is now, I don’t have time to search that shit. Adames is a nice little prospect here.  As of the midseason rankings, Adames ranked as the 17th prospect according to MLB.com, 13th by Baseball America, and 26th by Baseball Prospectus.  Willy has a little pop with maybe a little more to grow as he progresses.  He had a nice season in AAA and should be the Rays SS of the future starting early next season.

 

Spring 1st Overall Pick

The trade market has been disappointingly stagnant in the most recent 2 trade deadlines.  In this humble stud’s opinion, all that means is that draft picks are more important than ever in building your team roster foundation.  There are some solid prospects right now whose rights are not owned and will be available in this draft.  Who knows maybe there is a nice international free agent to come over, and Odom will get first stab at that dude.  The Cheater will have the pick of the bunch for this draft, and that is a not a bad advantage to have.

 

Rights Draft 1st Overall Pick

I have never been a part of a Spring draft, but the Rights Draft seems to be super juicy, especially for those with high draft picks.  Half way through the season, you have the advantage to see who is a breakout candidate.  May I suggest that the Japanese Babe Ruth, Shohei Otani does not come over this offseason to the MLB, causing his rights to go back into the rights pool to become easy pickings for Odom to take!

 

Analysis

The chat voted 5 to 3 in favor of Shane for this trade, but I am going to disagree with the chat, and let you all know why at least 5 of you got this one wrong.  Daniel Murphy is the best player being exchanged in this trade, as of today.  But that doesn’t mean the chat is right in thinking Shane won this trade.  I fully believe that Odom made a very savvy move in selling on Murphy.  Odom may have been able to get more for the 2018 season in exchange for Murphy, but that doesn’t mean he will not be sitting alright in the long run here.  Murphy is about to turn 33 and he is not getting any younger.  2016 was the best season of Murphy’s career, and it is going to stay that way moving forward.  It is better to move a player a year to early rather than a year to late.  Murphy is a nice player.  He will help Shane’s team in 2018.  But Odom received potentially 3 top prospects, 1 OF WHICH MAY VERY WELL BE THE COVETED OTANI!  There is no chance in hell Shane gets a return like that for Murphy this time next season.

Kudos to Shane for not having to move Carlos Martinez, Happ or Vlad Guererro Jr in this deal.  That is a win right there in itself.  But when it comes down to it, Shane only had 3 wins last season and needs to build up trade chips and acquire some YOUNG talent.  One can acquire talent and trade chips through DRAFTS.  As of right now, Shane will not have a first round pick in the next 2 drafts, and some of his best talent is Greinke and JD Martinez, who are both on the wrong side of 30.  Murphy will improve his roster in the short term, but he just took himself out of a chance for an elite talent like Otani.  Call me crazy, I get the feeling that Otani will not accept a 10 million dollar offer to come over to the MLB next year, but wait a year to receive 150 – 200 million dollars to come play here.  I don’t know why, but the math just makes sense to me.  Why leave that much money on the table, I don’t care who you are, money talks.  If this trade was looked at as potentially Otani for Murphy, I bet most of the league would say acquiring Otani would be the winner.  Odom may have just got Otani, plus 2 other top prospects, plus a nice little K machine named Dinelson Lamet.  Worst case scenario, Otani comes over to the MLB this offseason for Rojo to roster, and Odom still gets 3 top prospects and Lamet.  Good job Odom.

 

 

TRADE #4

 

BPMZ Traded Ronal Acuna, ATL CF to LTBS

LTBS Traded Jonathon Villar, MIL 2B to BPMZ

LTBS Traded Aaron Nola, PHI SP to BPMZ

LTBS Traded Fernando Tatis Jr, SDP SS to BPMZ

 

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Jonathon Villar – MIL 2B

26 Years Old

.241/.293/.372, 16 2Bs, 11 HRs, 23 SB

Villar has seen the best of times and the worst of times over the tale of 2 seasons.  Last year he was a fantasy stud who hit 19 HRs, and stole 62 bases. This year, well you see his stats up there.  Still a big-time source of stolen bases even when having a down season.  He has lost a lot of playing time this year because of his play, but Neil Walker is a free agent at the end of the season and Villar presumably will slot back in the starting 2B gig.  He might not be as good as last season, but he certainly isn’t as bad as this season.

 

Aaron Nola – PHI SP

24 Years Old

148 IP, 156 Ks, 3.71 ERA, 3.26 FIP, 9.5 SO/9, 2.6 BB/9

Breaking news, Aaron Nola is good.  It was tough to give up Louisiana Lightning.  This guy has a big-time curveball that he uses 30% of his pitches.  A 49.9% groundball rate in 2017, which is lower than his career norm.  He doesn’t pitch in a pitcher’s park by any means, but this guy is good and still has a lot of room to grow. I like the groundball plus strike out rates that he possesses, and he does not walk many batters.  Good job Sean for squeezing him out of me.  I already hate giving him up.

 

Fernando Tatis Jr. – SDP SS

18 Years Old

.278/.379/.498, 27 2Bs, 7 3Bs, 22 HR, 32 SB, 15 CS between A and AA

Fernando Tatis is a very young prospect who broke out this year to see himself start climbing up the prospect lists (55 on MLB.com, 100 on BA midseason list).  Tatis is a very good prospect who will only see his status grow in the next few years.  He has good power from the SS position, but will most likely be moving to 3B by the time he makes it to the majors.  He has the bloodline to make it as a good MLB player.  I do not think the steals will be there as much as he gets to the higher levels of the minors.  He could also cut down on the Ks, but seeing 77 BBs this season shows he has an advanced approach at the plate at a real young age.

 

Ronald Acuna – ATL CF

19 Years Old

.325/.374/.522, 31 2Bs, 8 3Bs, 21 HRs, 44 SB across A, AA, and AAA

Quite possibly the best prospect in all of baseball.  This guy has hit since he was 17 years old, but the power showed up this season in the form of 60 XBHs.  This kid has all the tools to be a stud and this owner is hoping we will be renaming the J-Roll award after him.  There is a lot to love about this guy, with a lot of room to still grow for the teenager.  But was the price to acquire him too high?

 

Analysis

The league voted that the new Sean (Dochney) won this trade in a 4-3 vote.  I swung the vote by voting for myself in this poll, because why wouldn’t I vote for myself?  But if I were being honest, the Mooninitez won this deal.  The price was huge for a guy who hasn’t stepped foot on an MLB field.  Sean McLaughlin capitalized on the hype machine and got a huge return for Acuna, and good for him.  I would feel a lot better about this deal for myself if I didn’t have to give up Nola, but Sean was insistent on his inclusion, and he got his guy.  I am hoping Acuna hits the ground running when he makes it to the show and we see Mookie Betts, not Byron Buxton (credit to Buxton for being a stud in the last 2 Septembers though).   Dochney gave up too much to get this guy, and it will only be worth it if Acuna becomes a superstar.

Would also like to take a moment to go back to the midseason Pollock trade for all you haters out there.  The pick received in that trade became Tatis Jr., who later is a part of the Acuna deal.  Moving Pollock (who is overrated and has already seen his best baseball) got me the trade chips to land a potential 5 tool superstar.  2-year rule in affect for judging the tangled web of trades here.

 

 

TRADE #5

 

X*RAYZ Traded Walker Buehler, LAD P to LTBS

LTBS Traded Adam Duvall, CIN LF to X*RAYZ

 

AD

 

Adam Duvall – CIN LF

Just turned 29 Years Old.

.250/.299/.497, 33 2Bs, 3 3Bs, 31 HRs, 74 Runs, 94 RBIs

Duvall is underrated in this league because his OBP sucks.  But OBP is just 1 category, and Duvall helps a lot in the counting stat categories.  He may not be sexy, but he instantly becomes the X*Rayz top slugger on his roster.  And Odom won the league (albeit controversially) while having the 9th ranked OBP in the league.  Adam Duvall is no fluke either, this is the 2nd year in a row he is a full-time starter, and the 2nd year in a row that he will have over 30 2Bs, 30 HRs, and 100 RBIs.  Duvall is good, and plays in the hitter friendly confines of Great American Ballpark.  He will be 29 for most of next season as well.  Contrary to popular belief, he is not the same player as teammate Scott Schebler (Editor’s note:  No he is though.).  Duvall is a good power bat who will keep benefitting from hitting behind the Walking Red, which guarantees Duvall to have more and more RBI opportunities.  (Whatever Duvall been slumping and moved down the lineup and is not batting behind Votto right now, don’t ever fact check my claims!)

 

Walker Buehler – LAD P

23 Years Old

3.35 ERA, 1.10 WHIP, 88.2 IP, 125 Ks, 12.7 K/9, 3.1 BB/9 between A+, AA, and AAA

This guy slipped in the draft a few years back because of an elbow injury that people knew he would need TJ Surgery for.  He watched his Vanderbilt teammates Dansby Swanson and the bum Carson Fulmer get drafted in front of him.  Make no mistake, going into that final Vanderbilt season before injury Buehler was the guy, not Carson Fulmer.  Buehler recently received a call up to the big club, and will pitch out the bullpen the rest of the season.  He looks like a front rotation starter moving forward though, possibly forming an Ace 1 and Ace 2 with Kershaw much like when the Dodgers had Greinke.  I said it, subtle Greinke comp there even though I don’t like doing comps.

 

Analysis

Well I love this deal for myself, and so did everyone else in the poll from the chat.  I get a potential future ace to go along with the other stud prospects I have.  Odom gets an underrated slugger who will help him out next season, but paid a huge price in what could become a star pitcher.  The Backdoor Sliderz have built themselves up an impressive farm system during their first year in the league, but they have also paid a big price in doing so.  Not all prospects are can’t miss, and here’s to hoping these guys become fantasy studs for years to come.

 

 

 

So there you have it folks, the owner of the Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz VALIANTLY contributing a trade review on a bunch of different trades SEVERAL OF WHICH coincidentally included the Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz.  I will leave it up to our loyal leaders to determine how much his bias was or was not showing (I think he did fine and objective work) but I will NOT leave it up to you schmucks to decide whether or not he deserves a round of applause for stepping up to the plate and providing us with a #ContentMonday. He deserves a round of applause. Please give him a round of applause regardless of where you are reading this right now. I am proud of him.

 

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OFFSEASON TRAAAAADE REVIEW: HIS DOCHNESS EDITION

The 2017 Backyard Championship Series Review

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AND SO IN THE END, our new commissioner added himself a new championship and we will need a new rule for playoffs minors violations as a result of it…DETAILS BELOW BUT ALSO FIRST CONGRATULATIONS TO THE POINT LOMA X*RAYZ YOUR 2017 BACKYARD CHAMPEENS……

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

rhys-hoskins-phillies-jaffe
Nothing rhysked, nothing gained…… (I know it is pronounced “Reese” and I also know the expression is “nothing ventured nothing, nothing gained” but I DON’T GIVE A FUCK it is a long season we are going with this)

 


Point Loma X*Rayz Outhit And Outpitch And Outmaneuver 😉 The River City Bad Dudes For First Solo BCS Title And Fourth Overall  –  9-5-0

 

MVP:  Jose Ramirez  –  ONLY FITTING that Jose takes the MVP on the brightest stage of all which is the BCS stage for he has probably been the X-Rayz MVP all season long. After scuffling a bit earlier in the postseason Jose TOTALLY REDEEMED HIMSELF in the last possible round and now the X-Rayz are champions. Also BCS MVP JROLL  14/26, 7 Rs, 6 2Bs, 1 3B, 4 HRs, 6 RBIs, 2 SBs, .556 OBP     **MVP OF BCS OBVIOUSLY**                

LVP: Rougned Odor    Rougned Odor had a bad OBP in the BCS. Rougned Odor has the worst OBP in baseball (.254) and a .213 batting average. Rougned Odor also has 28 HRs and 14 SBs. River City would likely have been better off if Rougned Odor got injured in BCLR1. WHAT AN ENIGMA WRAPPED IN A PUZZLE THIS GUY IS.  3/24, 3 Rs, 1 2B, 2 SBs, .192 OBP      **LVP OF BCS OBVIOUSLY**     

 

X-Rayz Hitter Of Note:  Elvis Andrus caps a pretty surprising fantasy season (fuckin’ guy is about to go 20-20 folks) with a typically excellent performance, found himself just a steal shy of a JROLL (10/28, 7 Rs, 3 2Bs, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 9 RBIs, .379 OBP).

X-Rayz Pitcher Of Note:  Jeff Samardzija may have earned himself a lifetime contract with his performance in the BCS, he tossed a crucial CG on a crucial Monday for the X-Rayz and didn’t let up one bit when his turn came around again on Saturday (16 IP, 1 ER, 14 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 1 CG, 0.56 ERA).

 

Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note:  Gonna reverse the trend of previous matchups and give some Bad Dudes some credit here, SO AJ Pollock put together a JROLL in a valiant and yet losing effort and here it is (6/19, 5 Rs, 1 2B, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs, 1 SB, .409 OBP).

Bad Dudes Slugs Pitcher Of Note:  And Marcus Stroman has seemingly avoided serious injury after a comebacker forced him out of a Saturday start, one in which the Bad Dudes hoped he would go 9 innings instead of 1.2 (7.2 IP, 1 ER, 7 Ks, 1 QS, 1.17 ERA).

 

ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS:  I think the best way to cover this one would be to break things down as they were PRIOR TO the minor league infraction heard ’round the world and then follow up with a breakdown of things AFTER the minor league infraction heard round the world. Cuz yanno that covers the entire week and all.

 

PRIOR TO the minor league infraction heard ’round the world…

 

Monday – Monday cames and wents and the X-Rayz were off to a HOT START when it was all said and done:  15 Rs, 5 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 2 HRs, 9 RBIs, 2 SBs, .473 OBP. THE TEAM WIDE JROLL. This would have been bad enough news for a Bad Dudes roster that started a wee bit sluggish (4 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 RBIs, 1 SB, .250 OBP) over 14 fewer ABs but the bigger issue was that the X-Rayz had a Shark start and that one went well for ’em SEE ABOVE. For the Bad Dudes they grabbed a QS out of Stroman and a Save and a Hold out of other people but Monday stung River City a bit. A good bit.

Tuesday – Tuesday saw the Bad Dudes PUNCH BACK, at least in terms of establishing themselves as the power team in this matchup:  13 Rs, 6 HRs, 15 RBIs, .356 OBP, even an SB to boot. They also pieced together 2 QS (in 3 tries), 1 W2 Saves, 1 Hold. However this all came with a 4.98 ERA, which is kinda the bad news as you started to see the X-Rayz establish an advantage in that department with their pitching line (on the heels of the Shark CG Shutout):  3.46 ERA, 2 QS, 2 Ws across two starts. ADDITIONALLY the X-Rayz offense didn’t let up much (8 Rs, 6 2Bs, 1 3B, 1 HR, 9 RBIs, 1 SB, .458 OBP), as they put up another collective JROLL and kept the pressure on in the OBP cat with another strong showing.

Wednesday – TECHNICALLY this would be the day of the infraction but it wasn’t noticed until Thursday so we shall throw this one here. And REALLY Brandon Nimmo sucks, but yea Nimmo was the issue here. And he did in fact chip in a 1-3 day with a walk for a .500 OBPand he was technically illegally a part of an X-Rayz offense that matched the mediocrity of the Bad Dudes offense to keep them in the driver’s seat (6 Rs, 4 2Bs, 1 HR, 4 RBIs, 2 SBs, .313 OBP for the X-Rayz vs. 7 Rs, 2 2Bs, 4 RBIs, 2 SBs, .333 OBP for the Bad Dudes). The pitching side saw the X-Rayz split a pair of starts with one going rather poorly and one going rather well, while the Bad Dudes had but one start and it went but poorly. They also worked in 2 Holds, if nothing else putting themselves in strong position to take the two relief cats and make em their own. AND THEN THE INFRACTION WAS NOTICED

 

AFTER the minor league infraction heard ’round the world…

 

We all know the general story, as it captivated a Thursday AM Groupme chat and put the league on the verge of anarchy. The X*Rayz ORIGINALLY tried to wiggle their way out of their own (terrible) rule to the point of not even dropping minor leaguers, but eventually a punishment was established that allowed the integrity of the BCS round to remain:  for the crime of illegally rostering Brandon Nimmo and utilizing him in a starting lineup, the X*Rayz would drop their top 4 minor leaguers by ownership (which included X*Rayz postseason hero Rhys Hoskins) and forfeit the use of any minor leaguers for the remainder of this year’s BCS, in addition to forfeiting an upcoming Chris Archer start. IN RETURN the Bad Dudes, to their credit, would not push for full enforcement of the (terrible) rule and therefore would not be handed a freebie championship. And so the battle raged on…..

Thursday – Thursday saw an X*Rayz team, now DEFIANT and EMBRACING THE HEEL ROLE and CONTINUING TO PUT UP NUMBERS in the face of league-wide razzing over their misdeeds…..no jk neither team did much of anything on Thursday. But there WAS in fact some league razzing because I think we can all admit it is kinda fun, I am kinda enjoying dancing around the edge of calling the title “tainted” in this very review and the X*Rayz were very clearly the team I wanted to take the crown in this particular matchup. So yea. Anyways the Thursday offensive numbers were a bit offensive for both sides but definitely moreso for the X*Rayz, perhaps reeling from their crimes against league integrity (3 Rs, 1 RBI, 2 SBs, .255 OBP for the cheaters vs. 6 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 9 RBIs, 1 SB, .264 OBP for the [self-proclaimed] “Bad Dudes”). On the pitching side the Bad Dudes were all quiet while the X*Rayz continued to keep the ERs to a minimum, while also earning a QS and a W and a Save across two starts and two relief appearances.

Friday – It would be clear at this point in the matchup for anyone actually paying attention to the matchup that the Bad Dudes would need a big weekend to steal this one back. And on Friday they started to make some in-roads in some spots. 7 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 8 RBIs, 2 SBs, .370 OBP for Bad Dudes hitters and 29 Ks in 25 innings for Bad Dudes hurlers (2 QS in 3 starts, 2 Saves, 1 Hold). The Bad News for the Bad Dudes would be they clearly could not grab a fucking Win for the life of ’em and the X*Rayz added another one of those and another QS across two starts. And another 3B. and another SB. But at least their OBP was a not great .281?

Saturday – Saturday came and went and with it went a lot of the Bad Dudes remaining hopes, as the X*Rayz once again showed themselves to be adept at pushing the right buttons in doubleheader matchups and the Bad Dudes responded by putting up a .167 OBP. Perhaps most excitement for the Bad Dudes came from Lance Lynn very nearly going 9 against the Giants, which would have been helpful clearly. But probably not helpful enough given the X-Rayz overall Saturday stat accumulations:  7 Rs, 2 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 2 HRs, 12 RBIs, 4 SBs, .391 OBP, 22 Ks in 19.1 innings, 1 QS in 3 tries, 2 Ws. Also Stroman left his start after 1.2 IP and Chris Archer, the man handpicked by the Bad Dudes to take a seat as punishment, left his start after 0.0 and 2 earned. So Saturday was a real kick in the dick on a couple different fronts for River City.

Sunday – Sunday saw the X*Rayz concede Ks but nothing else. Your final day:

Bad Dudes:     5 Rs, 1 2B, 3 HRs, 10 RBIs, .328 OBP / 12 Ks, 12 ER, 0 QS across 2 starts, 8.31 ERA

X*Rayz:     10 Rs, 5 2Bs, 1 3Bs, 5 HRs, 11 RBIs, .478 OBP STRONG CLOSEOUT PERFORMANCE FOR THE HITTERS They were all outta starts, but they got 2 Ks and 1 ER out of 2 relief appearances.

A very strong offensive offensive performance for most of the week (any swoons on a day-to-day basis seemed to coincide with swoons for the Bad Dudes) gave the X*Rayz a 5-2 cat advantage in the BCS on offense, and a 2.620 ERA helped the X*Rayz to a 4-3 cat advantage in pitching, and THAT WAS THAT. a 9-5-0 victory secures the X*Rayz franchise the 2017 BCL Championship.     

 

AND SO IN THE END…….In the end the X*Rayz put together a great playoff run, particularly in Round 2 and the BCS, and that is why they are your 2017 champions. The River City Bad Dudes did not lose due to some sort of unfair advantage gained by using Brandon Nimmo on a Wednesday, using Brandon Nimmo benefits no one. The Bad Dudes simply ran outta steam towards the end of yet another great playoff run of their, no doubt feeling the effects of REALLY REALLY GOOD PLAYERS being lost to injury even before they made it to the second round. This matchup was not without controversy and the entire league is better for it as now really nobody can brag about anything. River City wants to brag about reaching 3 straight BCS games? WELL SURE DO IT but their record in those 3 was 1-2 and it invites comparisons to another franchise that reached 3 straight and won all damn 3 of ’em. Point Loma wants to talk about their championship team too much until everyone is tired of getting updates about what Jeff Samardzija is up to? WELL SURE DO IT but if they start sounding too braggy surely someone else will mention that they had to ignore their own created punishments in order to not take an L in a really terrible way in the championship and now everyone is going to push for Fantrax forever and it is all their fault. IN A WAY WE ALL WIN HERE. I deem dynasty year one a success.

For the X*Rayz, this marks their franchise’s FIRST CHAMPIONSHIP and their owner’s FOURTH OVERALL championship, his first since the Great Dynasty Split of whatever year that was……that split occurred prior to the 2015 season, is when that was. Let the record show Mr. Odom has now stood atop the Backyard Mountain at the conclusion of 4 of 7 seasons in the Backyard, folks. For the Bad Dudes this is BACK TO BACK seasons of coming up short in the end, inviting comparisons to I dunno…..I wanna say Bad Dudallo Bills but they need to lose two more in a row. The early 70s dolphins lost one then won two in a row so currently they are kinda like them but in reverse, plus that one season was the perfect season so that won’t work. LATE EIGHTIES BRONCOS lost two in a row, then didn’t make it, then lost again but they’v also won a few. Here is to the Bad Dudes not making the 2018 BCS and then losing the 2019 BCS to make this comparison work. Here is to that.

 

 

 

Next Week aka This Week:  NEXT WEEK AKA THIS WEEK ALL OF OUR LIVES ARE EMPTY. I mean jk, trades will open back up for a brief time and that should keep us slightly busy for a few days maybe. And for one team, the crushing emptiness will be slightly less empty for all of about 7 minutes. That is generally how long a championship feels enjoyable for, in my humble experience. And that team is the POINT LOMA X*RAYZ….  Congrats to the 2017 CHAMPIONS THE X*RAYZ OF POINT LOMA 

 

 

 

WHAT IS NEXT FOR THE LEAGUE

 

Usually this section has a bunch of fancy stuff (usually as in like the one time I wrote one up) but THIS TIME, I am not quite sure. I would imagine a lot more calls to attempt a move to Fantrax after the SHENANIGANS above. I also envisioned a world where rosters stay open and available until ESPN shuts them down in like February to do absolutely goddamned nothing for a month and change, but that world doesn’t exist apparently so you only have like an additional week to make some early offseason trades (I imagine rosters will stay open for add/drops year round but again WHO KNOWS). SO GET THE TRADIN’. I also will be attempting to add some bread to this equation, then and only then will I make a complete effort to win a championship. Once I could win like $180 for it. Mostly we just have another successful fantasy season in the books and I want to thank all of the participants AND LOYAL BLOG READERS for making it a lovely time and special shout out to the two new owners who did damned fine work and TALK TO YOU ALL SOON. Blog will be updated randomly and without rhyme or reason, don’t think you can coax it back to life with shitty trades this week either TRADE REVIEW IS UNDER REVIEW.

 

 

 

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The MooniniteZ name GOES NOWHERE btw…..
The 2017 Backyard Championship Series Review