THE 2018 BACKYARD CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES REVIEW

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Since I’m “not allowed” to use the Doch pic (nor do I have any intention of ever looking at it again) this will have to do. Pretty similar tbh
Oh dear God what have I done. ME specifically, whom is probably most responsible for the Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz ending up our 2018 champeens. Far more responsible than their owner, that’s pretty much a definite. I spent all offseason and some of the season arming this franchise with talent for the foreseeable future and now they won the championship and now Doch will likely be insufferable. That is the bad news. The GOOD NEWS is I waited a long time to write this review and it won’t be nearly as detailed as last year’s review and I hope that eats at Doch the same way Doch eats at everything. Saddens Doch the same way he is saddened by Caffrey’s burning down (just one more Lacey burnout really).

 

Look I think it is no secret that I often just do reviews as a template off of preview reviews. To the point that some reviews probably have stats from previous reviews tucked in em, LIL EASTER EGGS if you will. I can assure you this will not be a template of last year’s BCS review, however, because I did not pay any attention to this year’s BCS and paid all the attention to last year’s because it was Odom vs. Lobman.
In conclusion this intro had really nothing to do with the Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz. Congrats to them. But also fuck them. And fuck Caffrey’s. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz Complete A Complete Postseason Performance, Defeat The Top-Seeded (First Time That Has Ever Happened In The BCS Way To Go You Failures) Astoria Isotopes  –  10-3-1

 

MVP:  Alex Bregman  –  YEA YEA YEA Acuna Jr. was the best player of the entire postseason run or yada yada but Alex Bregman was the best hitter in the BCS and that is what we do here. We award the best player in the particular series.  12/27, 6 Rs, 3 2Bs, 13 HRs, 9 RBIs, .500 OBP                     

LVP:  Nolan Arenado    SAD. Sad for me to do this to Nolan. But even his late attempts to salvage some respectability can’t erase the fact that he started out 0-18 in this series. NO CLUTCH. Nolan Gorman will be the better Nolan within three years.  3/25, 2 Rs, 1 2B, 2 RBIs, .148 OBP          

 

BackdoorSliderZ Hitter Of Note:  Juan Soto was the second best hitter in this series and this doesn’t at all mean that Acuna Jr. wasn’t excellent as well and all of this should annoy all of us what happened here (11/23, 3 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 HR, 6 RBIs, .538 OBP).

BackdoorSliderZ Pitcher Of Note:  Death, taxes, and Jacob deGrom having an excellent start for the ButtSliderZ with the Mets failing to get him a W (8 IP, 1 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1.13 ERA).

 

Isotopes Hitter Of Note:  Almost nobody on the Isotopes seemed all that interested in winning this particular championship but I want to shout out Miguel Andujar he seemed like he was trying, EVEN DREW SOME WALKS (7/26, 7 Rs, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs, .345 OBP).

Isotopes Pitcher Of Note:  I guess I have to point out German Marquez because even though this was against the suck-ass Padres it was impressive and now the ‘Topes will probably keep him into next season but also start him at Coors (5.50 ERA) because they lack a discerning fantasy eye (8 IP, 2 ER, 13 Ks, 1 QS, 2.25 ERA).

 

ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS:  FIRSTLY before I even get into an attempt to break this one down let me just say, fine fucking work by both participants/the commish in their media days. For the first time maybe ever I was kinda sad I don’t have instagram because I too would have liked to shit talk the father of Mikey T. But yea great job everyone involved, way to really STEER US into the social media revolution Odom. Maybe I will start Tindering.

ON TO THE MATCHUP………….. This felt less in doubt then it actually was, a bit of a wire to wire performance by the BackdoorSliderz but CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF as Sunday opened it was still there for the taking for the ‘Topes. Unfortunately the big bats of the Isotopes all kinda shrunk simultaneously and the pitching didn’t do enough and I am still not talking about the BackdoorSliderz much THEY WERE FINE. 6-1 cat advantage on the hitting side with mostly ho-hum numbers (.3705 OBP and 19 2Bs play just about anywhere I will concede that) and a 4-2-1 advantage on the pitching side en route to a tidy 10-3-1 championship victory. A CARAYYYYZAY SIX bullpen victories for the Lacey folk to really demoralize an Isotopes squad that pitched okay at times (7 QS) but just okay (4.008 ERA). German Marquez was masterful in his start for the ‘Topes I will have to concede that. But Walker Buehler was masterful pretty much all postseason for Lacey, he is yet another really good really young player they have TROUBLING SIGN.

In the end, it is a good thing that it is ridiculously hard to win back to back titles in this league. Nigh impossible now. So there’s solace in that.

 

 

 

 

 

WHAT IS NEXT FOR THE LEAGUE

 

iiiiii don’t fucking know. Probably more social media hullaballoo. At least I’m probably done changing team names, Brian will be pleased.

 

 

 

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Caffrey's Massive Fire Is Still Under Investigation: Lacey Chief-0

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THE 2018 BACKYARD CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES REVIEW

2018 “Road To The BCS”: Round 2 Review/BRIEF BCS Preview

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MUCH like this monkey, I am mostly depleted with these motherfucking reviews. FORTUNATELY the commish has done a fantastic job with the BCS Media Guide and Media Day and such so I don’t feel too strong of a need to get all crazy with the BCS Previews and such. I shouldn’t feel too strong a need to do any of this shit, but that is between me and the therapist I don’t have but perhaps need. FOR NOW let us review the failures of two teams contrasted with the non-failures (for now) of the other two teams…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz STAY HOT At Precisely The Time You Want To Be Hot, Take Down Second Seeded Garden State Warriors (AKA ….. …….)  –  10-2-2

 

MVP:  Gregory Polanco  –  Just a real balanced effort from the BackdoorSliderz in Round 2, and when that happens you end up in a weird limbo and before you know it Gregory Polanco is your MVP due to a ROUND TWO JROLL. Which I respect. Props to G-Po.  9/23, 5 Rs, 2 2B, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 5 RBIs, 1 SB, .483 OBP           

LVP: JT Realmuto    In this round we highlight the failures of the losers (and in the LVP section we always do that so seems redundant to even point it out), and despite your two steals from the C position you were a bit of a failure JT. Just a bit.  1/18, 1 R, 1 RBI, 2 SBs, .217 OBP      

 

BackdoorSliderz Hitter Of Note:  Probably need to highlight Ronald Acuna Jr. who CONTINUES to hit the ball very very well, although he fell off Rhyshistoric pace from last season’s X*Rayz title run by which all other rookie playoff performances shall still be measured SEE BELOW after the stats (8/28, 2 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 2 RBIs, 1 SB, .394 OBP):

Acuna Jr. Rounds 1-2:  .475ish OBP, 18 Rs, 3 2Bs, 6 HRs, 11 RBIs, 4 SBs

Hoskins Round 2:  10/26, 7 Rs, 1 2B, 6 HRs, 15 RBIs, .448 OBP

Hoskins Rounds 1-2:  .4560-.465ish OBP, 14 Rs, 1 2B, 10 HRs, 21 RBIs            

BackdoorSliderz Pitcher Of Note:  Anddd now back to the present day, where Jameson Tailon displayed a ball of steel in his fine Round 2 performance in a tricky road matchup with the Brew Crew (6 IP, 1 ER, 8 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.50 ERA).

 

Warriors (……..) Hitter Of Note:  ELSEWHERE in disappointing hitter news, the Warriors would have needed a far stronger week outta Francisco Lindor if they wanted to cool down the Sliderz (6/32, 4 Rs, 1 2B, 2 RBIs, .217 OBP).

Warriors (……….) Pitcher Of Note:  ELSEWHERE in disappointing Indians players performances, Carlos Carrasco boned things up (on the road @ Fenway in his defense) when he was needed most (3.2 IP, 5 ER, 6 Ks, 12.27 ERA).

 

ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS:  WHAT CAN YA SAY, the Backyard Playoffs are all about getting hot at the right time and the BackdoorSliderz be h-o-t. Acuna Jr. didn’t QUITE maintain his insane pace from Round 1 but he has remained uhhh productive as one might say, and the BackdoorSliderz followed a Round 1 SHUTOUT with a Round 2 balanced performance that saw them pitching to a sub 2 ERA and 99 Ks and all that good stuff. The Warriors, on the other hand, founded on their pitching but dealing with injuries all season long, pitched to an ERA ’round 4. Throw in a few uninspired hitting performances on the Warriors side and you have a 5-1-1 advantage on each side of the coin for Lacey, leading to their overall 10-2-2 victory. GREAT overall numbers on the pitching side for the BackdoorSliderz (99 Ks, 8 QS, 7 Ws, 7 Saves) and a solid .3666 OBP, MEDIOCRE numbers across the goddamn board for the Warriors (I guess you can argue 2 3Bs and 6 SBs are okay). WHAT CAN YA SAY.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Astoria Isotopes FINALLY Win A Playoff Matchup In The Live Ball Era, Deny River City Bad Dudes A Fourth Straight BCS Appearance  –  6-5-3

 

MVP:  Charlie Blackmon  –  FINALLY some signs of life from a one Charlie Blackmon, who contributed an R2 JROLL of his own. So yanno thematically it kinda made the most sense to give him MVP here as well, particularly with triples ending up as important as they ended up (Naztee having the only one in the matchup).  8/22, 5 Rs, 1 2B, 1 3B, 1 HR, 3 RBIs, 2 SBs, .391 OBP     **MVP OF ROUND TWO**     

LVP:  Miguel Sano    The man who MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE tried to force himself upon a photographer in a mall (#BelieveWomen #MeToo) sucked in Round 2, which MAY OR MAY NOT be karmic comeuppance for his misdeeds. Although in all likelihood neither are related in any way, small sample size/life is meaningless chaos/Sano has sucked in plenty of weeks. Way to hit a dinger though ya dingus.  2/22, 1 R, 1 HR, 2 RBIs, .125 OBP

 

Isotopes Hitter Of Note:  Khris Davis UNDERRATED MLB SLUGGER that he is with a quiet 3 HRs because everything he does is quieted by a racist MLB that’s the narrative I am going with here (6/29, 3 Rs, 3 HRs, 5 RBIs, .281 OBP).

Isotopes Pitcher Of Note:  Howz about Zach Wheeler dominating the Bad Dudes and their casual Mets fan ownership, there’s some sorta storyline to run with there I just know it but instead lets look at Cole Hamels and a critical CG (9 IP, 1 ER, 7 Ks, 1 QS, 1 CG, 1 W, 1.00 ERA).

 

Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note:  Not AJ Pollock‘s best work imho (3/19, 2 Rs, 1 2B, 4 RBIs, .182 OBP).

Bad Dudes Pitcher Of Note:  Samesies for a Nathan Eovaldi that was given TWO STARTS for the Bad Dudes, and failed in both (9.1 IP, 9 ER, 7 Ks, 8.68 ERA).

 

ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS:  SO CLOSE YET SO FAR, for the Bad Dudes in their quest for a fourth straight BCS appearance (and yanno to maybe win one again for a change). FINALLY, for the Astoria Isotopes franchise that seemingly hadn’t won a playoff game since Rent hit theaters which is also Isotopes ownership’s favorite movie FUN FACT there. And it all came down to those goddamned quirky “specialty” categories of ours so to speak, the ones that often work behind the scenes to swing a matchup. Here they were front and center:  A single triple and a somewhat improbable Cole Hamels CG ultimately gave the ‘Topes the 6-5-3 victory, the Bad Dudes getting the same (or more probably getting two triples) would have flipped the matchup in the other direction. The Isotopes barely make due on the hitting cats going 2-4-1 but make up for it with superior pitching (4-1-2) due to superior looking #s (100 Ks, 9 QS). The Bad Dudes eek out 8 Wins on a mere 4 QS and probably would have felt pretty good about their bullpen numbers typically (5 Saves 4 Holds) but NOT TO BE as the ‘Topes matched them pen for pen, peen for peen. Clearly I don’t have much to say here, tough break for the Bad Dudes and lets pretend I ended it on “peen for peen.” Here I’ll end it on peen for peen.riples Bad Dudes +1, HRs MooniniteZ +1, RBIs TIED, Strikeouts Bad Dudes +1, QS Bad Dudes +1, Wins Bad Dudes +1, Holds Bad Dudes +1.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BACKYARD CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES PREVIEW

 

AND SO IT IS FINALLY UPON US, after months of annoying trade offers and transactions and complaining about trade offers and transactions and number of DL spots and whether or not people need to adhere to agreed upon start limits in the long weeks and so on and so forth man I am already burnt out on the fantasy front BUT FIRST…..we have a Backyard Championship Series to play out y’all.   ALL OF THAT STUFF WAS FROM LAST YEAR BUT STILL APPLIES. This year’s BCS features a first ever #1 v. #5 matchup, a 1 seed has never lost in the BCS yada yada for more of this type info please refer to Odom’s excellent Media Guide somewhere below here. For now I’ll do my quick preview thing and get the fuck outta here.

 

 

 

 

#1 ASTORIA ISOTOPES                        VS.  #5 LACEY TOWNSHIP                                                                                                                                                                                                BACKDOORSLIDERZ

                                 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let’s do it corer by corner once again, IN THE HIGHER SEEDED CORNER we have the Astoria Isotopes. Riding high after finally performing at a level worthy of all the bullshit braggery about “regular season win totals” (a note for the millionth time, championships are all that matter), Isotopes ownership looks to take home their second championship overall and first since fucking forever. This team drafted behind other top teams for much of the season before winning their final two regular season matchups AGAINST THOSE SAME OTHER TOP TEAMS, and with that impressive feat they scored an impressive top seed. They’ve since followed that up with an impressive win over a Bad Dudes team that has been REALLY GOOD at making the BCS, but they didn’t this year so here the ‘Topes are. They’re lead by Nolan Arenado and KHRIS DAVIS on the hitting side and trying to accomplish all of this with Aaron Judge all set to miss the entire BCS postseason like the LOW ENERGY superstar that he is. On the pitching side the Isotopes are piecing things the fuck together, lead by an absolutely rejuvenated Cole Hamels and Zack Wheeler duet. Both would make for a better story if anyone actually wanted to root for the Astoria franchise, I s’pose.

In the other corner we have the #5 Seeded Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz, looking to cap off their  FIRST FULL SEASON (second overall) with a BCS title. Which would be positively Sean/Odom-esque if not for the fact that we won it in our “taking over for shitty previous ownership” inaugural debut so never mind nothing like that at all. Lacey Township probably needed a convergence of all sorts of factors to even MAKE the Backyard Bracket (because both of the back 2 seeds kinda did this season) but once they’ve gotten here they’ve made the most of it, absolutely wiping the floor with Rojo’s Renegade Force en route to a Round 1 shutout and following that up with an impressive win over a very-good (if also very injury prone) 2 seed. Now Lacey finds themselves in their first ever BCS, lead by YOUTH on the hitting side (Acuna Jr., Soto, Bellinger, Albis, Bregman) and also lead by a slightly older man named Matt Carpenter whom is their best player (Freddie Freeman is also good).  On the pitching side it’s a really solid stable featuring more youth (Buehler, Tailon, Kopech all a fuckin’ sudden) and really really good/really really established aces (Verlander, deGrom, Greinke). As the asshole tasked with doing a lot of the reviews and the Power Rankings and all that shit I will say that the BackdoorSliderz were sort of the most across-the-board dangerous franchise in 2018, did everything pretty well on both sides of the (base)ball. They also made some super smart trades to pick off Verlander and Greinke in separate deals, and to pick off all of my team’s youthful talent both at the beginning of the season and at the deadline. I will also say that all-season consistency MEANS LITTLE in a 7-day sample. The BackdoorSliderz are playing well currently but the fact of the matter is they are going to need to continue to do so to take down the top seed.

These two teams met twice in the regular season, as all teams are wont to do, and LO AND BEHOLD the BackdoorSliderz took down the top seed twice. First with an 8-5-1 victory in Week 1 and then an even more emphatic 11-1-2 throttling in Week 10, Lacey is the only team to have swept Astoria in 2018 and that should provide a certain level of confidence heading into this BCS Battle. That being said, beating a team as good as the ‘Topes three times in a season is hard, I would imagine. And that being said that is what will need to happen here if His Dochness is to grab himself his first champeenship. And that being said I have no idea whom people should root for here, I am particularly torn as I have CRAFTED both of these franchises in somewhat significant ways.

WHAT TO WATCH FOR:  ROY CANDIDATE PRODUCTION. For the BackdoorSliderz they will likely go as far as their two phenomenal NL ROY candidates can take them (Ronald Acuna Jr. / Juan Soto) but do not sleep on the Isotopes AL ROY candidate, Miguel Andujar. A big week outta him just might propel the Isotopes O to grab a few necessary hitting cats in a tough matchup with a tough 5 seed. History is on the side of the 1 seed, history is also bullshit. SO TUNE IN.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Image result for golden bear jackMay A True Champion Bear Inspire You Both…..
2018 “Road To The BCS”: Round 2 Review/BRIEF BCS Preview

2018 Backyard Bracket/”Road To The BCS” Round 1 Review/Round 2 Preview

 

 

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Editor’s Note:  A REAL TREAT FOR BLOG FANS, as you do not have to read yours truly for this round. It only feels right that Doch would be rewarded for his HISTORIC 14-0 annihilation of a Round 1 opponent that shall remain nameless for at least another couple of lines, so I am giving him the highest honor I can bestow:  the opportunity to write up a review that properly encapsulates the ass whoopin. Take it away Mr. Dochtober…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

Round 1 in Review: #Dochtake Edition

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Bad Dudes Salt the Slugs 7-6-1 to eliminate the greatest team that has ever lost in the first round in Backyard history (#Slugfacts)

 

MVP

Tough call because of solid performances all around for the Bad Dudes on an offense that saw big numbers this week, including them tying the doubles record in a single week with 31.  This is the very first week I have the honor to choose an MVP, the pressure is on, do I give it to Stanton (.452 OBP, 4 2Bs, 2 HRs, 6 Runs, 4 RBIs, 1 SB)?  Do I give it to Abreu (.444 OBP, 2 2Bs, 2 HRs, 4 Runs, 9 RBIs)?  Or will I give it to Bryce Harper (.379 OBP, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 4 Runs, 8 RBIs)?  All well deserving individuals for the honor, hell, even Odor (9 RBIs), Chapman (5 2Bs, 5 Runs) and Treinen (3 IP, 7 Ks, 1 W, 2 Saves) deserve some recognition.

 

After putting a lot of thought into this, we are going to give MVP honors to the New York Mets this week.  They played spoiler a few times for the Slugs during the week, including the Sunday night showdown against Pivetta and Phillies.  They also beat the Yankees on Monday, knocking Slug ace Luis Severino out after 4 innings in which he gave up 4 earned.  Just 1 victory against the lowly Mets would have been enough to get the Slugs into the second round.  But the Mets burned the Slugs GM for turning his back on them as a fan.

 

LVP

Slugs GM Brian Smith

 

Did Brian overmanage his team in the playoffs?  It is going to be a question he will have to live with years from now.  What could have been?  It was proclaimed early in the year that this was his year, his team was the best, and overall, he is smarter and a better person than everyone else in league (he may not have said that last piece but he probably thinks it).  He did leave Gomber, a guy he traded for at the deadline, on his bench out of fear.  What did Gomber do from the bench you ask?  Oh well he just went out there and pitched great against the Nationals (6 IP, 0 earned, 6 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W).  If you recall from the above paragraph, Brian needed just 1 more win to get himself into the second round.  That one win was sitting on his bench the entire time right in front of him.  It was like that nerdy girl in high school that you did not realize was actually very beautiful once she takes off her glasses and lets her hair down.  That girl went on to blossom into a beautiful strong young woman.  She was right there in front of you the entire time and you never noticed Brian.

 

In all reality, it probably would have been Roark or Bucholz not getting a stream start if Gomber was in the lineup Wednesday for the slugs.  They each picked up quality starts and W’s as well.  But that is not as dramatic for the sake of the blog.  So, Brian, you blew it, LVP of the week.  You sir, are your own worst enemy.  Cue the guitar rift from My Own Worst Enemy by the classic 90s one hit wonder band, Lit.  (for the record I owned 2 Lit CDs in my youth, I was 10)

 

 

RCBD Hitter of Note

Jose Abreu (.444 OBP, 2 2Bs, 2 HRs, 4 R, 9 RBI)

A lot of guys had good weeks for the Bad Dudes offense, special shout out to my boy Jed Lowrie who had 6 RBIs on 13 at bats.  Abreu just seemed like the right pick here.  Most RBIs on the Bad Dudes, who put up 66 RBIs this week.

 

RCBD Pitcher of Note

Dakota Hudson (2 IP, 0.00 ERA 2 Ks, 1 W, 2 H)

Nobody really stood out on the Bad Dudes staff.  Sure, Jake Arrieta had a good game, and Lobman’s boy Treinen had a few saves and a win.  But when it came down to it, the Slugs could not manage a hold, and fell 1-win shy of winning the matchup this week.  SP eligible high minors reliever going out there and making a difference in what became 2 important categories this week.  Hudson’s 2 holds were the only 2 of the matchup and the 1 win was absolutely a difference maker.

 

 

BBS Hitter of Note

Whit Merrifield (.500 OBP, 1 2B, 1 HR, 4 R, 6 RBIs, 2 SB)

I was uninspired by the Slugs hitters this week, so we will give this honor to Whit Merrifield because whatever why not.  This could have easily gone to Trevor Story (.423 OBP, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 6 R, 3 RBIs, 2 SB), but I was uninspired by his 3 RBIs.  Good job Whit, see you back in a backyard lineup next season.

 

BBS Pitcher of Note

Max Scherzer (6 IP, 7 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W)

Usual Max Scherzer line there.  1 start week for Max, and he did his job.  The same cannot be said for Luis Severino and Nick Pivetta.  They each had a 2-start week and all they had to do was beat that small market team in New York just once between the both of them.  But the Mets’ offense decided to show up this week and ruin what was supposed to be Brian’s year.

 

 

Matchup Notes

 

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Lobman is turning into the Buffalo Bills of the Backyard.  He wiggled his way into the Backyard playoffs with the 6th seed and we may all pay for it.  Lobman’s offense is starting to click at the absolute best time for the Bad Dudes.  The Bad Dudes outslugged the Slugs and won the offensive categories 5-1-1.  Perhaps having a better offense is more important when it comes to playoff time in the Backyard.  The aces on the Slugs only had 1 night in some cases to influence the matchup and it proved to not be enough.

 

On the other hand, I thought Brian had the best team ever, what happened?  This is at least what we were all lead to believe by the Slugs leader himself for most of the regular season.  There must be some sort of conspiracy to why the best team ever lost in the first round of the Backyard Playoffs.  How can a team that is so good possibly lose in the first round?  Was it because of aliens?  Is the Illuminati to blame?  Is the entire world out to get Brian?  Is this all a dream and Brian really won, but I am writing a fake blog post from a dream coma?  Brian removed himself from the chat so we perhaps may never know!  With Alex Jones out of work, one might think the Backyard should consider employing him to get to the bottom of this conspiracy.  We must find out why the government turned the frogs gay!  And perhaps they did the same to the slugs, it just went unnoticed until now.  Were the frogs being gay just a false flag to bring down the Barnegat Banana Slugs!?  Maybe the Curse of Charlie Morton was real after all!  One must now think; will the curse carry over to 2019 for the Slugs?

 

The once fearless Slugs leader, who was not afraid to announce this as his banner season as early as week 6, turned into a shell of himself.  One could smell the fear the Slugs started to have towards the Bad Dudes by mid-week when Muncy and Schoop were both waived in a desperate attempt to beat the Bad Dudes.  I would like to point out that Muncy was part of the same trade that brought Gomber over, who Brian benched.  Was it mentioned yet that the Gomber win on the bench would’ve been a difference maker in this matchup?

 

Lobman will go on to face the number 1 seeded Isotopes in the battle of the Mikes.

 

Brian will hopefully end his radio silence on Backyard Live to take his lumps for the cockiness he had in the beginning of the season, or at least give us a rant on why he was screwed over, or why we should have more DL spots, or we shouldn’t police our minors so no one risks losing anyone.  But hey at least he still has Vlad Jr….. unless the Curse of Charlie Morton gets to him next.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Lacey Township Backdoor Sliderz just barely squeeze past the Renegades 14-0-0

 

 

MVP

Ronald Acuna Jr.  (.559 OBP, 2 2Bs, 4 HRs, 11 R, 9 RBIs, 3 SB)

Acuna Matada Mother Fuckers!  This 20-year-old prodigy broke out in a big way over the last few weeks.  He really started the week off hot Monday and Tuesday, contributing to Rojo getting buried early on according to some in Backyard Live (looking at Odom).  Whether you believed he was buried that early on or not, Rojo had an uphill battle this week after only the first 2 days of the playoffs.   Acuna had 4 HRs and 7 R, and all 9 of his RBIs by the end of Tuesday night alone.  What kind of week could this kid have had if Jose Urena didn’t act like a coward and throw at Acuna’s elbow, knocking the young man out of the game Wednesday and cooling him off slightly in the process.  Fuck Jose Urena!

 

LVP

Rojo

Rojo mismanaged his team early on in the week if you ask me.  For a team that is built on flexibility and the “line changes” he does daily, there is no reason that he should be with empty spots in his lineup.  On quite a few occasions this week he was starting a guy in his lineup that was not in his real-life team’s lineup for that day.  I am not talking about just on light days when there aren’t a lot of games, but on days where every team is playing, he would have guys in his lineup that were riding pine.  I actually counted up the amount of times he started a guy that was not starting in his team’s actual lineup, Rojo did this 16 times throughout the week.  He did this 3 days in a row with Joc Pederson alone.  This is not a good job on a team that is seemingly built on flexibility.  Maybe he was too busy worrying about what relievers to stream instead of making sure he had a complete lineup for the day, and this is a bad job my friend.  I believe there is some sort of playoff winless streak going on here, so better luck next year.

 

 

LTBS Hitter of Note

Justin Turner (.567 OBP, 3 2Bs, 3 HRs, 8 Runs, 7 RBIs, 1 SB)

This ginger proved you don’t need a soul to hit.  Good job brother, keep up the good work.

 

LTBS Pitcher of Note

Jacob deGrom (15.2 IP, 2 ER, 1.15 ERA, 21 Ks, 2 QS, 2 W, 1 CG)

This guy is awesome.  Degrominant in the 2-start week.  He finally received some run support in those 2 starts and that equals 2 victories for deGrom, including a CG.  One of the best pitchers in baseball right here, and deserves some serious recognition for the Cy Young Award.

 

 

RRF Hitter of Note

Paul Goldschmidt (.607 OBP, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 5 R, 7 RBIs, 1 SB)

Goldy is pretty good by the way, in case someone wasn’t aware out there.  He was constantly on base this week, but ultimately it did not matter for a Renegades team that failed to win a single category.

 

RRF Pitcher of Note 

Corey Kluber (7 IP, 1 ER, 1.29 ERA, 7 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W)

Klubot is good, I’m sure other Sean has written extensively about him in the past so you’re going to have to keep scrolling to see more info on Kluber.

 

 

Matchup Notes

Well for one I was very fortunate during double headers this week.  Was also very fortunate that Rojo was not attentive enough to his lineup, which was the storyline to this matchup.  16 TIMES THIS WEEK HE HAD A PLAYER IN HIS LINEUP THAT WAS NOT IN HIS REAL-LIFE LINEUP!  It is going to be difficult to win no matter who you are when that is happening.  You’re missing out on potentially 50 at bats just by not checking lineups.  The Backdoor Sliderz had 44 more at bats than the Renegades this week, and the Sliderz did not roster a catcher for a single day during the week.  Rojo, who has made 450 moves this season, needed to make more moves to just ensure he is running a full lineup nightly.  Joc Pederson was benched 3 days in a row but Rojo ran him out his lineup for all 3 of those days.  I also question if Hosmer is rosterable as well.  But I digress and will manage my own team, which is moving on to round 2 for the first time in franchise history.

The BabySliderz jumped out to a real hot start this week and never looked back.  They will now look ahead to the number 2 seed Garden State Warriors led by R Mac.  Also of note, this is the 4th week in a row that Dochney will be facing a Ryan.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Round 2 Preview

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Astoria Isotopes (1 Seed) Vs. River City Bad Dudes (6 Seed)

The Topes took over the number 1 seed by beating the Slugs in the final week of the season.  The Topes are led by some star power, but 2 of their biggest stars are currently on the DL.  Being without Judge and Sale are both a big blow for the Topes.

The Bad Dudes on the other hand have been red hot over the last month, and they have some big names on the offensive side of the ball themselves.  They looked like an absolute offensive monster in round 1 of the playoffs.  The Topes may have some big names, but are they enough to hold off the scorching Bad Dudes without the Pride of the Topes (Judge)?

The season series was split between these 2.  The Bad Dudes won in Week 16 (6-5-3), while the Topes won in Week 7 (7-6-1)

PreDOCHtion: Bad Dudes take down the Topes to advance to yet another BCS Finals.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Garden State Warriors (2 Seed) host the Lacey Township Backdoor Sliderz (5 Seed)

Week 18 rematch for our other Backyard Round 2 playoff matchup.  R Mac could have secured the 1 seed and eliminated the Baby Sliderz from the playoffs with a Week 18 win, but was unable to do so and now Dochney will be looking to make the Warriors pay for letting him in the playoffs.

The Warriors perhaps have the best team in the league.  Dominate pitching staff when healthy and have very exciting young talent in Lindor, Correa, Gleyber, Baez, and Benintendi.  But this team is not the healthiest at this point in the season.  Darvish, Strasburg, Paxton, and Doolittle all sit on the DL for the Warriors, while the Sliderz are looking relatively healthy (KNOCK ON WOOD).  Strasburg may be back Wednesday for a start, but it is very likely R Mac will not have the other 3 for the remainder of the playoffs.

The Sliderz will lean on their youth to get them into the Backyard finals.  Hoping Acuna and Carpenter are not feeling any effects from being hit by pitches in scary spots last week.  There is also a highly anticipated Backyard debut for Michael Kopech, who will have a 2-start week to get his feet wet in the Backyard.

Season Series was split between these 2.  Warriors won the Week 9 matchup (9-4-1).  Sliderz won Week 18 (8-5-1).

PreDOCHtion: Backdoor Sliderz win because I am being biased.  No hard evidence to support the predochtion, screw you all!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

IT ALL COMES DOWN TO THE FIELD OF FOUR AND FOLLOWING THAT WE WILL BE AT A FIELD OF TWO AND WHOEVER WINS THAT ONE WILL BE OUR 20178 CHAMPION AND AT LEAST IT ISN’T THE TROUT FISHING CLUB BARNEGAT BANANA SLUGS AMIRITE? NOW IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME I HAVE A MATCHUP TO TURN AROUND OR POSSIBLY NOT TURN AROUND LIFE TO LIVE… HOPING TO SEE SOME MORE PEP IN THE TEAM’S STEP GOING FORWARD IN 2019 THOUGH GOTTA BE HONEST. BYBR2 TUNE IN……………….

 

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2018 Backyard Bracket/”Road To The BCS” Round 1 Review/Round 2 Preview

THE 2018 JROLL AWARD

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THE 2018 JROLL AWARD

 

 

FIRST SOME FLUFF…..

 

 

TOTAL JROLLS IN 2018 BACKYARD REGULAR SEASON:  THIRTY TWO (19 in 2017)  

 

JROLLS BY TEAM:

 

Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz:  9 (Ozzie Albies x3Gregory Polanco x3Freddie Freeman, Jose Altuve, Carlos Gonzalesfor some reason)

OceanGate Trout Fishing Club:  6  (Mookie Betts x3, Trea Turner x2, Mike Trout)

River City Bad Dudes:  5 (AJ Pollockx2, Wilson Contreras, Manny Machado, Andrew McCutchen)

Garden State Warriors:  4 (Andrew Benintendi, Austin Meadows, Christian Yelich, Yoan Moncada)

Astoria Isotopes:  3 (Jean SeguraYolmer Sanchez, DUSTIN FOWLER)

Point Loma X-Rayz:  2 (Jose Ramirez x2)

Barnegat Banana Slugs:  1  (Trevor Story)

Bell Road Bears:  1  (Ian Desmond)

Q-Tip City Morning Wood:  1  (Starling Marte)

 

 

 

PRETTIEST JROLL OF THE SEASON:

 

Wilson Contreras (Bad Dudes), Week 6:  3 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 3 HRs, 1 SB AND ALSO IS A CATCHER

 

 

UGLIEST JROLL OF THE SEASON:

 

Whatever Dustin Fowler did ‘cuz it was Dustin Fowler (Week 7)

 

 

 

 

AND NOW, YOUR 2018 JROLL AWARD WINNER…….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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YEA UNFORTUNATELY IT IS MOOKIE BETTS. The Sawks hater in me hopes this curses him for 2019 because last year’s JROLLwinner, Charlie Blackmon, did not have a SINGLE JROLL in 2018. But yes came down to Betts vs. Albies vs. Polanco and uh see chart below:

 

COMBINED 2Bs/3Bs/HRs/SBs

Mookie Betts:  89

Ozzie Albies:  69 (nice.)

Gregory Polanco:  57

 

Makes it pretty clear sadly, so CONGRATS TO MOOKIE BETTS. Now if only management could get you into the Backyard Bracket more. If. Only.

 

 

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THE 2018 JROLL AWARD

2018 Week 18 Review: “Oh Shit We Got Somewhere” Edition

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AND THERE. IS YOUR REGULAR SEASON. Years from now we will be able to talk about the collapse of the Bears and LITTLE ELSE, so yanno. I take pride in that. What lined up as a potentially dramatic Week 18 kinda wasn’t with most matchups kinda deciding themselves quickly. In honor of that brevity I shall keep this brief……

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Mission Valley X*Rayz Tie A Rojo’s Renegade Force Team That Should Not Be Allowed To Win Another Game In 2018  –  6-6-2

 

MVP:  Edwin Diaz  –  Edwin Diaz was the most impressive man in this matchup and I do not even care if 5 saves against RRF is entirely unnecessary.  5 IP, 1 ER, 11 Ks, 5 Saves, 1.80 ERA     

LVP:  Evan Gattis    Rare is the week I see a guy fail to reach base even once in 15 ABs so I’m calling it out.  0/15, 1 RBI, .000 OBP                

 

RRF Hitter Of Note:  I almost forgot how Nick Markakis is having that career year for whatever fucking reason, and next season he will be unrosterable and lose his spot in the Braves OF and all that fun stuff (12/26, 6 Rs, 4 2Bs, 1 3B, 1 HR, 8 RBIs, .448 OBP).

RRF Pitcher Of Note:  Might as well shoutout CC Sabathia for still CHUGGIN ALONG in his 27th season, for he is now on the DL and may chug no longer for all we know (6 IP, 0 ER, 7 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 0.00 ERA).

 

X*Rayz Hitter Of Note:  Billy Hamilton finally getting around to the whole stealing bases thing A LITTLE LATE, the rest of his production tends to be a bit unpalatable so you really want your B-Ham up around 40 SBs around this time (7/21, 2 Rs, 2 RBIs, 5 SBs, .333 OBP).

X*Rayz Pitcher Of Note:  Just need to note that Blake Snell was pulled at FORTY SEVEN pitches in this game cuz Rays, really not what one wants in a must-win Week 18 sitch (5 IP, 0 ER, 6 Ks, 1 W, 0.00 ERA).

 

BBR1:  RRF v. Sliderz (#4 v. #5)

              X*Rayz @ HOME

 

 

 

 

 

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OceanGate Trout Fishing Club Deny The Q-Tip City Morning Wood A Franchise Record Tying Win Total  –  8-4-2

 

MVP:  Mookie Betts  –  FAREWELL Mookie Betts, for this is yet another season where the OGTFC will not be taking your talents to the Backyard Bracket. The OGTFC love missing the playoffs the way OGTFC ownership loves making 30 year old brides-to-be cry about their age. And strippers. And inappropriate comments in public settings. Also JROLLmaybe I’ll tally these up again who knows  13/29, 10 Rs, 5 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 1 HR, 5 RBIs, 2 SBs, .556 OBP     ***MVP OF THE WEEK*** 

LVP:  Evan Longoria    Evan Longoria has pretty much looked old and borderline unrosterable just about every week except Week 17 against the beloved Bears, which, rude.  4/23, 2 Rs, 1 RBI, .240 OBP     

 

OGTFC Hitter Of Note:  Lets also wave goodbye to Trea Turner because he is another very talented OGTFC player and he deserves better, BLOW IT ALL UP (10/29, 5 Rs, 1 2Bs 1 3B, 2 RBIs, 2 SBs, .406 OBP).

OGTFC Pitcher Of Note:  They can keep Zack Godley if they want I guess, Zack had a good week but sometimes has bad weeks (14 IP, 3 ER, 13 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 1.93 ERA).

 

Morning Wood Hitter Of Note:  Almost wanted to point out Mitch Haniger because I point out JD Martinez every GOTDAMNED week but yea here’s JD’s line once again, those two are the bright spots on a dark-ish season in Q-Tip City (13/28, 7 Rs, 5 2Bs, 4 HRs, 11 RBIs, .531 OBP).

Morning Wood Pitcher Of Note:  And imho they might as well hold onto Dereck Rodriguez cuz I think he looks KINDA GOOD and they’re pitching was KINDA BAD in 2018 (14 IP, 1 ER, 11 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 0.64 ERA).

 

BBR1:  OGTFC @ GONE FISHIN’

              MW @ HOME THIS HAS BEEN KNOWN SINCE LIKE MAY

 

 

 

 

 

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Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz Punch Their Ticket To The Dance With Impressive Victory Over Garden State Warriors  –  9-4-1

 

MVP:  Ronald Acuna Jr.  –  Welllll well well if it isn’t wunderkind Ronald Acuna Jr. waiting til precisely the right point in the season to start mashing dongs. This kid may end up being pretty good, along with all the other BackdoorSliderz kids, and now I am worried I might have helped create a monster going forward. MAGA TRAIN MOTHERFUCKERS.  8/27, 6 Rs, 1 2B, 4 HRs, 6 RBIs, 1 SB, .321 OBP     

LVP:  JT Realmuto    The Warriors sorta lazily made their way into the playoffs, bye already in hand, and even TOP-RANKED FANTASY CATCHER ACCORDING TO ESPN PLAYER RATER JT Realmuto sorta took the week off.  3/21, 1 2B, 1 RBI, .182 OBP

 

BackdoorSliderz Hitter Of Note:  Matt Carpenter also still hitting dongs in case anyone was wondering, and MAN was this the wrong year to part with Matt Carpenter they even played him at 3B a bunch when they said they wouldn’t I HATE YOU MIKE MATHENY (5/25, 5 Rs, 3 HRs, 5 RBIs, .310 OBP).

BackdoorSliderz Pitcher Of Note:  When the Mets actually win for Jacob deGrom you just know everything is coming up ButtSliderz (6 IP, 0 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 0.00 ERA).

 

Warriors Hitter Of Note:  I for one think the Warriors will be just fine when they come out of the bye week and one reason for that is  Francisco Lindor (9/32, 4 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 2 HRs, 7 RBIs, 3 SBs .343 OBP).

Warriors Pitcher Of Note:  And another reason is a shrewd acquisition of a one Carlos Carrasco (13.1 IP, 3 ER, 17 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 2.03 ERA).

 

BBR1:  Sliderz @ RRF (#5 @ #4)

              Warriors v. BYE (#2 seed)

                 

 

 

 

 

2018 WEEK 18 BACKYARD CO-BATTLES OF THE WEEK, SPONSORED BY A BEAR PAIR

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Astoria Isotopes Vulture #1 Seed In All The Backyard Land With Victory Over The Barnegat Banana Slugs, All That Chit Chat In Week 17 Still Looks Annoying  –  8-4-2

 

MVP:  Miguel Andujar  –  AND A CHILD SHALL LEAD THEM. Really annoying that the ‘Topes straight up DROPPED Andujar at one point but then realized the gravity of their error and picked him back up on waivers. That made me sad.  9/28, 8 Rs, 1 2B, 3 HRs, 8 RBIs, 1 SB, .387 OBP

LVP:  Whit Merrifield    The Slugs blew their chance at the bye and they should very much blame Whit Merrifield, ironically.  ONE ASSUMES Vlad Jr. will eventually heal this wound FUCK YOU SHANE.  2/24, .154 OBP     ***LVP OF THE WEEK***          

 

Isotopes Hitter Of Note:  Paul Dejong SIGHTING, apparently the Isotopes still have Paul DeJong (7/24, 5 Rs, 3 2Bs, 3 HRs, 8 RBIs, .320 OBP).

Isotopes Pitcher Of Note:  They also have a Cole Hamels that looks a wee bit REJUVENATED with the move back to the NL, so that could be helpful potentially (13 IP, 3 2 ER, 11 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 1.38 ERA).

 

Banana Slugs Hitter Of Note:  Well JESUS (not Aguilar, who had 3 dongs) David Peralta where did this power stroke come from, usually this guy hits an annoying amount of grounders but also a good amount of triples but this year he’s getting that bitch a bit higher in the air (12/27, 8 Rs, 1 2B, 1 3B, 4 HRs, 6 RBIs, .483 OBP).

Banana Slugs Pitcher Of Note:  Trevor Bauer was goooood and then took a liner to the ankle so we shall see, he perhaps could have used a bye week to rest up 😉 (12.1 IP, 1 ER, 19 Ks, 2 QS, 2 Ws, 0.73 ERA).

 

CO-BBOTW BREAKDOWN

 

In a CARAAAYYYYYZAY “Winner Takes Top Seed Loser Doesn’t Even Get A Bye” matchup the drama just wasn’t….quite…..there, aside from the what’s at stake part. Credit where credit is due to both of these teams but particularly to the Isotopes of Astoria, whom outclassed the Banana Slugs in a few pitching cats that are the Slugs’ bread and butter (or whatever a slug equivalent to bread and butter would be, bananas and banana byproducts?). The Isotopes impressively grabbed both Ks and ERA en route to a 4-2-1 advantage on the pitching cats, and then they handled business on the hitting side as well to the tune of a 4-2-1 once again. Even with a sub-.300 OBP the ‘Topes stuck to their game of dongs and ribbies and the Slugs couldn’t quite keep pace, despite a solid offensive showing for a team that sometimes lacks on that side of the ball. Not sure this one had much drama despite stretching the possibilities into the Sunday night game, I don’t think ‘Topes ownership was livetweeting every second of that game so HOW AM I TO KNOW? How am I…..to know.

In the Backyard Bracket’s First Round the Astoria Isotopes will take a well-deserved break from action as the Backyard’s #1 seed overall. Meanwhile the Barnegat Banana Slugs (#3), for their troubles, have to take on a particularly dangerous #6 seed in the River City Bad Dudes. Yanno the team looking to make it to a fourth straight BCS, that one.

BBR1:  Isotopes v. BYE (#1)

              Slugs v. Bad Dudes (#3 v. #6)

 

 

 

 

 

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River City Bad Dudes Assist Bell Road Bears In TRULY EPIC Collapse, It Has Not Been The Best Of Summers What Can I Say  –  8-5-1

 

MVP:  Giancarlo Stanton  –  Giancarlo Stanton has stayed healthy for the Bad Dudes and ONE CAN CRAFT AN ARGUMENT had he not they’d miss the playoffs. Because like four teams were within a hair of the last playoff spot so one can craft an argument about just about anything. Is muh point.  8/27, 8 Rs, 5 HRs, 9 RBIs, .424 OBP      

LVP:  Rhys Hoskins    FAR DIFFERENT from his performance ’round this time last year, Rhys let us down in Week 18 and has Sophmore Meh’d. We still very much believe in the skill set.  1/21, 3 Rs, .200 OBP           

 

Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note:  NATCH Rougned Odor hit a triple and JROLL‘d in the one week in the past like 9 that I couldn’t muster a triple, that won’t fix his ears though (9/30, 7 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 3B, 1 HR, 5 RBIs, 1 SB, .400 OBP).

Bad Dudes Pitcher Of Note:  And also Kevin Gausman twirled a gem cuz again NATCH (8 IP, 1 ER, 8 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.13 ERA).

 

Bears Hitter Of Note:  I honestly have nobody to really commend here so let me just say I am confident a healthy Edwin Encarnacion would have hit 11 dongs over the weekend, he never lets me down come playoff time (2/14, 1 R, 1 HR, 5 RBIs, 1 SB, .235 OBP).

Bears Pitcher Of Note:  And for the last time just want to thank Aaron Nola for nearly singlehandedly willing us out of the depths of the league on the QS leaderboard, and for teaching me how to love (a pitcher) again (6 IP, 0 ER, 5 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 0.00 ERA).

CO-BBOTW BREAKDOWN

 

And so the reasonnn the Slugs find themselves in a tough Round 1 matchup has a lot to do with a lot of different factors, the final spot in this year’s #BB truly coming down to some crazy tiebreakers and factors and yada yada. One of those factors was certainly an absolute COLLAPSE by the Bell Road Bears, which I cannot die is INTERESTING from a seasonal recap standpoint but also cannot deny not at all giving a shit about. BAD TEAM would have made no noise in the playoffs. The River City Bad Dudes however are poised to make noise, on the strength of a basically wire-to-wire Week 18 victory that gets them back in the dance (which they’ve been in every single time mehhhh). 4-3 advantage in the hitting cats and a 4-2-1 in the pitching stuff, shit pitching and injuries kinda robbing this one of much drama a Freddy Peralta Friday disaster sorta sunk the battleship longgggg before a Tyler Skaggs Saturday disaster had the chance to. And that was all she wrote for a team with numbers that likely should have stuck them with a Bonerz-esque record, and the team with slightly better numbers moves on and grabs the 6 seed. 3 teams from each division in the Backyard Bracket NICE SYMMETRY.

The River City Bad Dudes will enter the Bracket yet again, a 6 seed taking on the 3 seeded Barnegat Banana Slugs. The Bell Road Bears will miss the playoffs for the 2nd time in four seasons, book-ending two straight seasons of 1st round byes that lead to NOTHING and so questioning EVERYTHING about existence (jk I’m fine but feel free to try and trade for all my dudes of value, I want to join the MW @ the bottom SEEMS PEACEFUL DOWN THERE).

 

 

BBR1:  Bad Dudes @ Slugs (#6 v. #3) 

              Bears @ HIBERNATING

 

 

 

 

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EXHAUSTING, just an exhausting regular season. Now I get to (mostly) relax and visit Fangraphs a lot less and some of you can join me on this treat, some of you cannot. ALL OF YOU can feel free to gather your composure and scroll below for the Backyard Bracket Round 1 Preview, should anyone still read these things……

 

 

 

 

 

 

BACKYARD BRACKET ROUND 1 PREVIEW

 

Now that we have looked at how we arrived at this #FieldOfSix, let’s take a look at the matchups that will determine which two teams will advance to Round 2 and a date with our top two seeds aka the fuckers below…..

 

 

FIRST ROUND BYES:   #1  ASTORIA ISOTOPES (13-4-1, .750)

 

 

                                         #2  GARDEN STATE WARRIORS (13-5, .722)      

 

 

 

 

 

 

#3 BARNEGAT BANANA SLUGS (12-6, .667)   VS.     #6 RIVER CITY BAD                                                                           DUDES (8-10, .444)

                                   

 

 

The Barnegat Banana Slugs enter the 2018 #BackYardBracket having jusstttttt missed out on a bye, and it kinda stings this year as now they have to face a very capable six-seeded River City Bad Dudes franchise. The Slugs find themselves with the season-long advantage in every pitching cat outside of CGs (3-2 Dudes) and Holds, however the Bad Dudes have the advantage in every hitting cat outside of Steals. These things don’t exactly play out along those lines in a 7 day sample size BUT this will be an interesting matchup nonetheless, damn good pitching vs. pretty good hitting and all of the SSS craziness in play.

One thing working in the Banana Slugs favor is a pretty convincing season series sweep of the Bad Dudes, with a 9-1-4 victory in Week 8 and a 7-5-2 in Week 17. The Bad Dudes will be the first to remind you that the playoffs are a different animal altogether howevs. Also please everyone support local artists and save the Brian skateboarding GIF to your phone for use 4e.

WHAT TO WATCH FOR:  DONGS.  The Slugs will feel good about their advantages on the pitching side of things, most likely, but what would realllllly help ’em, out is a powerful week for the Barnegaters coupled with a bit o’ a dry spell for the Bad Dudes. While River City grabbed a 10-2 RBI lead after Monday’s festivities they only did so on the strength of 1 dong, and everyone knows it is gonna take more dongs than that. Dong dong dong dong dong.

 

 

 

 

 

#4 ROJO’S RENEGADE FORCE (8-7-3, .528)      VS.     #5 LACEY                                                                                           TOWNSHIP                                                                                       BACKDOORSLIDERZ                                                                                  (8-9-1, .472)

 

                VS.                 

 

The matchup that was only allowed into existence because the higher seed here acted SOFT in Week 17, I could really end this here but I will continue. IRONICALLY ENOUGH Rojo’s Renegade Force leads the league in the power cats (HRs/RBIs) BUT if we are being honest here the BackdoorSliderz have just been fucking solid pretty much across the board, all cats they hold their own. Also if we are being honest here RRF don’t deserve to win another game this season. MIGHT be why the BackdoorSliderz just put up perhaps the greatest Monday batting line in Backyard Bracket history. Let’s highlight it here:  17 Rs, 4 2Bs, 7 HRs, 20 RBIs, 1 SB, .4366 OBP. In the words of Noob-Noob:

 

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In the regular season the Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz won the first meeting between these two teams back in Week 8 (7-5-2). And THEN in Week 17 the Renegade Force started 11 and basically did that thing where dogs roll over as an act of submission, and so these two teams tied (6-6-2). So now you have the matchup that you have, with the BDSliderz taking a 1-0-1 regular season record into battle with these WIMPS.

 

WHAT TO WATCH FOR:  THE WILL OF THE FANTASY GODS. Life is all chaos and it is very unlikely there are “fantasy baseball gods” but also NO LESS LIKELY than any actual “God” so if there IS fantasy baseball gods (no way there’s an actual God) they are displeased with the RRF. And that is why they just got mollywhopped on a Monday in the hitting cats. These Bracket weeks they are long ones so this thing’s far from over, but if the BackdoorSliderz absolutely BLOW THE DOORS OFF this matchup I will certainly try and claim it is divine intervention of some sort. You should NEVER play for the tie, despite how pretty Rachel is.

 

 

 

(RECYCLED CLOSING PARAGRAPH ALERT)  AND SO THE STAGE……….HAS BEEN SET. BUT FOR REAL THIS TIME, THE BACKYARD BRACKET HAS BEEN COMPLETED AND THE BACKYARD CHAMPIONSHIP LEAGUE’S (BCL) 20178 PLAYOFFS ARE UNDERWAY AND WHO WILL MAKE THE BCS (BACKYARD CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES)? I KNOW I HAVE MY GUESSES. APOLOGIES TO THE FOUR LOSERS THREE LOSERS AND ME WHO ARE ALREADY GUARANTEED NOT TO MAKE SAID BCS, YOU HAVE ONLY YOURSELVES AND THE CRUELTY OF FANTASY SPORTS AND RANDOM CHANCE AND LUCK TO BLAME (AND ALSO ROJO AND AROLDIS CHAPMAN IN MY CASE. FUCK Y’ALL EVERYTHING. BYBR1 TUNE IN……………….
2018 Week 18 Review: “Oh Shit We Got Somewhere” Edition

2018 POWER RANKINGS: AUGUST EDITION

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TOTALLY FORGOT to do Power Rankings, and on one hand who gives a shit no way I write this much on this blog next year and on the OTHER hand well then I might as well make this year as complete a performance as possible….So without further adieu, August Power Rankings complete with categorical stats (that don’t budge much) and my humble and correct opinions on each team’s best and worst personnel in ’18 (full time-ish players only) because fuck it needed to write something in there……

(All cat ranks through 8/7/18 or 8/8/18 or who knows)

1- Garden State Warriors (13-4)

The Cat Ranks: Runs 1st, Doubles 1st, Triples 1st, HRs 5th, RBIs 2nd, SBs 2nd, OBP 6th, Strikeouts 5th, QS 4th, CGs 1st, Wins 6th, Saves 2nd, Holds 10th, ERA 4th, MOVES 9th.

2nd Half Record:  7-1

Best Player / Worst Player:  Francisco Lindor / Yu Darvish 

 

 

2- Astoria Isotopes (12-4-1)

The Cat Ranks: Runs 2nd, Doubles t-5th, Triples 6th, HRs 4th, RBIs 4th, SBs 8th, OBP 4th, Strikeouts 4th, QS 9th, CGs t-9th, Wins 8th, Saves 8th, Holds 2nd, ERA 5th, MOVES 5th.

2nd Half Record:  5-2-1

Best Player / Worst Player:  Nolan Arenado / Cole Hamels

 

 

3- Barnegat Banana Slugs (12-5)

The Cat Ranks: Runs 8th, Doubles 7th, Triples t-9th, HRs 6th, RBIs 7th, SBs 4th, OBP 9th, Strikeouts 1st, QS 1st, CGs 3rd, Wins 1st, Saves 4th, Holds 6th, ERA 2nd, MOVES 10th.

2nd Half Record:  5-3

Best Player / Worst Player:  Max Scherzer / Jonathan Schoop

 

 

4- Rojo’s Renegade Force (8-7-2)

The Cat Ranks: Runs 3rd, Doubles 4th, Triples 10th, HRs 1st, RBIs 1st, SBs 10th, OBP 7th, Strikeouts 10th, QS 7th, CGs 2nd, Wins 2nd, Saves 10th, Holds 1st, ERA 9th, MOVES 3rd.

2nd Half Record:  3-3-2

Best Player / Worst Player:  Corey Kluber / Marcell Ozuna

 

 

5- Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz (7-9-1)

The Cat Ranks: Runs 4th, Doubles 2nd, Triples t-7th, HRs 3rd, RBIs 5th, SBs 7th, OBP 2nd, Strikeouts 7th, QS 2nd, CGs t-5th, Wins 9th, Saves 9th, Holds t-3rd, ERA 1st, MOVES 7th.

2nd Half Record:  4-3-1

Best Player / Worst Player:  MATT CARPENTER / Robbie Ray

 

 

6- River City Bad Dudes (7-10)

The Cat Ranks: Runs 5th, Doubles 3rd, Triples t-7th, HRs 2nd, RBIs 3rd, SBs 6th, OBP 3rd, Strikeouts 8th, QS 8th, CGs 4th, Wins 3rd, Saves 5th, Holds t-3rd, ERA 8th, MOVES 2nd.

2nd Half Record:  4-4

Best Player / Worst Player:  Manny Machado / Marcus Stroman

 

 

7- Mission Valley X*Rayz (7-10)

The Cat Ranks: Runs 9th, Doubles 10th, Triples 5th, HRs 10th, RBIs 9th, SBs 1st, OBP 8th, Strikeouts 6th, QS 3rd, CGs t-9th, Wins 4th, Saves 1st, Holds 9th, ERA 3rd, MOVES 1st.

2nd Half Record:  3-5

Best Player / Worst Player:  Jose Ramirez / Chris Archer

 

 

8- Bell Road Bears (8-9)

The Cat Ranks: Runs 10th, Doubles t-5th, Triples t-2nd, HRs 9th, RBIs 8th, SBs 9th, OBP 10th, Strikeouts 2nd, QS 5th, CGs t-5th, Wins 7th, Saves 3rd, Holds 7th, ERA 7th, MOVES 4th.

2nd Half Record:  3-5

Best Player / Worst Player:  Aaron Nola / Gary Sanchez

 

 

9- OceanGate Trout Fishing Club (6-9-2)

The Cat Ranks: Runs t-6th, Doubles 8th, Triples t-2nd, HRs 9th, RBIs 10th, SBs 3rd, OBP 1st, Strikeouts 3rd, QS 6th, CGs t-5th, Wins 10th, Saves 6th, Holds 5th, ERA 6th, MOVES 6th.

2nd Half Record:  2-4-2

Best Player / Worst Player:  Mike Trout / Amed Rosario

 

 

10- Q-Tip City Morning Wood (2-15)

The Cat Ranks: Runs 7th, Doubles 9th, Triples t-9th, HRs 7th, RBIs 6th, SBs 5th, OBP 5th, Strikeouts 9th, QS 10th, CGs t-5th, Wins 5th, Saves 7th, Holds 8th, ERA 10th, MOVES 8th.

2nd Half Record:  1-7

Best Player / Worst Player:  JD Martinez / Sonny Gray and I don’t even care how long he’s been rostered

 

 

 

 

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And there is your 2018 POWER RANKINGS FINALE. September Power Rankings are one champeen and then a whole bunch of losers. Thank you for your time.

2018 POWER RANKINGS: AUGUST EDITION

2018 Week 17 Review: “CRAZY FUCKING SHIT I TELL YA” Edition

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WEEK 17 really set us up for some shit….is what it did. Whether it be the end o’ the Warriors Win Streak or the CONTINUED slide of a Bell Road Bears franchise that has just been a mess of late or losses by two of the like 4 teams vying for that last playoff spot (or two) or RRF playing for a tie like an absolute disgrace. All of that stuff combined to set up a ZANY Week 18. First let’s lightly touch on all of that stuff……

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Rojo’s Renegade Force Spit In The Face Of The Fantasy Baseball Gods, Play It Safe In Order To Tie Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz  –  6-6-2

 

MVP:  Justin Verlander  –  Norrrrrmally I don’t like to point out MVPs in tie situations (I mean not normally but at least a couple times this season) but in this scenario, since they deadlocked at 93 Ks (SINCE ROJO SAT HIS TWELFTH STARTER) I will have to point out that Verlander struck out 14 in but one start.  7.2 IP, 1 ER, 14 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.17 ERA      

LVP:  Rojo    BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.  BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THIS MAN.  1 Benched Masahiro     ***LVP OF THE WEEK***           

 

BackdoorSliderz Hitter Of Note:  With apologies to the Acuna JROLL I wanna instead note that Matt Carpenter is still having his best season ever at 32.66 years of age because that gives me hope (11/26, 7 Rs, 2 2Bs, 4 HRs, 7 RBIs, 1 SB, .543 OBP).

BackdoorSliderz Pitcher Of Note:  Another guy that pitched well and racked up Ks was a young fellow by the name of Walker Buehler (12.1 IP, 3 ER, 15 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 2.19 ERA).

 

RRF Hitter Of Note:  Nelson Cruz still CRUZIN (sorry) towards yet another 30+ HR campaign at 38 and that also gives me hope, LOVE THESE TWO HITTERS OF NOTE (7/26, 4 Rs, 1 2B, 4 HRs, 10 RBIs, .326 OBP).

RRF Pitcher Of Note:  HUH that’s weird I coulda sworn Masahiro Tanaka was lined up for two starts in Week 17 HOW PECULIAR (6 IP, 0 ER, 8 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 0.00 ERA).

 

Week 18:  Sliderz v. Warriors (7-9-1 v. 13-4)

                   RRF @ X*Rayz (8-7-2 @ 7-10)

 

 

 

 

 

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Barnegat Banana Slugs Complete Season Sweep On A River City Bad Dudes Team That Would Have Preferred That They Had Not  –  9-1-4

 

MVP:  Trevor Story  –  GROSS I KNOW, but in the battle of middle-infielders-whom-I-enjoy-trashing-to-their-owners Story had uhhh one more RBI than the other guy. And PERHAPS that made all the difference, one could incorrectly claim.  7/26, 5 Rs, 1 2B, 4 HRs, 11 RBIs, 1 SB, .296 OBP     ***MVP OF THE WEEK***

LVP:  Jon Lester    Jonny really let the squad down with a two start performance that did no favors for a Bad Dudes team that needed to try and steal ERA.  2/21, 1 R, 1 RBI, .136 OBP           

 

Banana Slugs Hitter Of Note:  Howz about Salvador Perez with a MATCHUP HIGH 3 dongs (7/31, 3 Rs, 3 HRs, 8 RBIs, .250 OBP).

Banana Slugs Pitcher Of Note:  Nick Pivetta gave up 6 runs in an inning of work back on the 4th o’ May but since then he’s been v. good again GOOD FOR NICK (12 IP, 2 ER, 14 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.50 ERA).

 

Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note:  But yea Bryce Harper also hit three (7/25, 3 Rs, 2 2Bs, 3 HRs, 7 RBIs, .321 OBP).

Bad Dudes Pitcher Of Note:  Dylan Covey also TECHNICALLY let the squad down but the Bad Dudes trotted Dylan Covey out sooooo (4.1 IP, 4 ER, 1 K, 8.31 ERA).

 

Week 18:  Slugs @ Isotopes (12-5 @ 12-4-1, CO-BBOTW) 

                   Bad Dudes v. Babadooks (7-10 v. 8-9, CO-BBOTW)

 

 

 

 

 

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Q-Tip City Morning Wood And An On The Bonerz Payroll Aroldis Chapman STUN The Bell Road Bears On Sunday Night  –  8-4-2

 

MVP:  JD Martinez  –  JD Martinez had no business getting up in the 9th inning of that game but SURE ENOUGH he did and sure enough he took down the Bears on the very first pitch, credit to that guy but also fuck that guy THIS WAS KARMIC RETRIBUTION for all the Sunday night games I stole JD is but a tool…..a tool of destiny.  7/23, 4 Rs, 4 2Bs, 1 HR, 4 RBIs, 1 SB, .429 OBP

LVP:  Aroldis Chapman    Aroldis Chapman simply needed to close out a goddamned 3 run save and perhaps not give up a run and instead he did the opposite of that and turned what was headed for a 7-7 tie into an 8-4-2 loss. Aroldis Chapman will be traded this offseason.  2 IP, 2 ER, 6 Ks, 9.00 ERA     

 

Morning Wood Hitter Of Note:  Didi Gregorius put together his best week since like April I am gonna say, without checking one bit (8/24, 4 Rs, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs, .385 OBP).

Morning Wood Pitcher Of Note:  And also Rick Porcello you mother….fucker (9 IP, 1 ER, 9 Ks, 1 QS, 1 CG, 1 W, 1.00 ERA).

 

Bears Hitter Of Note:  Elvis Andrus hit two triples which was very kind of him, even if ULTIMATELY MEANINGLESS (10/29, 4 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs, .345 OBP).

Bears Pitcher Of Note:  Freddy Peralta wildly efficient enough in Week 17 for me to keep him beyond his High Minors status, we now fully expect him to be wildly inefficient in Week 18 (10 IP, 3 ER, 14 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 2.70 ERA).

 

Week 18:  MW v. OGTFC (1-7 v. 3-5)

                   Bears @ Bad Dudes (8-9 @ 7-10, CO-BBOTW)

 

 

 

 

 

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OceanGate Trout Fishing Club INEXPLICABLY Keep Their Bracket Hopes Hanging By A Threat, Put Mission Valley X*Rayz In A Need-Help-To-Get-In Scenario  –  7-4-3

 

MVP:  Brian Dozier  –  THE DOZEMAN. Or whatever.  7/19, 5 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 7 RBIs, .455 OBP     

LVP:  Magnerius Sierra  –  Unfortunately for the X*Rayz the X*Rayz had like three different guys I could have given this one to. Gonna go with Magnerius because he has the funnest name but don’t think I didn’t see you Dee (2/19) and Nicholas (3/21), REAL DISAPPOINTMENTS you two…were….here.  2/16, 1 R, .125 OBP

 

OGTFC Hitter Of Note:  Howz bout Willie Calhoun  actually appearing and contributing in a Backyard season, LONG TIME COMIN’ folks (6/18, 4 Rs, 3 2Bs, 4 RBIs, .400 OBP).

OGTFC Pitcher Of Note:  Howz about Zack Godley apparently back to being good after taking most of the season off (7 IP, 0 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 0.00 ERA).

 

X*Rayz Hitter Of Note:  Silver linings for X*Rayz fans, they still own Jose Ramirez and he is probably the Backyard’s best player in 2018 (10/22, 3 Rs, 2 2Bs, 3 HRs, 8 RBIs, 3 SBs, .538 OBP).

X*Rayz Pitcher Of Note:  Sucky linings for both X*Rayz fans and fans of the actual Rays SHAKIN THINGS UP, Ryan Yarbrough struggled to follow the “openers” last week (10.1 IP, 11 ER, 10 Ks, 1 W, 9.58 ERA).

 

Week 18:  OGTFC @ MW (6-9-2 @ 2-15)

                   X*Rayz v. RRF (7-10 v. 8-7-2)

                 

 

 

 

 

2018 WEEK 17 BACKYARD BATTLE OF THE WEEK, SPONSORED BY A BEAR THAT DON’T CARE

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Astoria Isotopes Defeat Garden State Warriors, Also Do Not Shut The Fuck Up About The Matchup Deep Into The Wee Hours Of Monday Morning Astoria Isotopes  –  5-4-5

 

MVP:  Khris Davis  –  Khris Davis is absolutely the forgotten man in both the Backyard and all of baseball and I for one am SICK OF IT. I mean HO HUM no biggie he’s just on his way to his third straight 40 HR season, the year before these 40 HR seasons started he had 27 in 121 games. HO HUM. Khris Davis deserves some RESPECT.  7/22, 4 Rs, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs, .407 OBP    

LVP:  Wil Myers    Tough start to the week for Big Wily and then he went on the DL to save face, or due to a legit injury, or something.  1/14, 1 R, .071 OBP          

 

Isotopes Hitter Of Note:  Nolan Arenado remains good but I mean EVERYBODY KNOWS THIS (9/30, 5 Rs, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs, .364 OBP).

Isotopes Pitcher Of Note:  The ‘Topes went back to their Tylers well and it failed so lets at least point out their failures, AND I LIKE Tyler Skaggs (3.1 IP, 10 ER, 3 Ks, 27.00 ERA).

 

Warriors Hitter Of Note:  I for one am super happy that Javier Baez finally fucking arrived, damn fine season for Javy B and Cardi B alike (10/24, 5 Rs, 3 2Bs, 1 3B, 3 HRs, 7 RBIs, .481 OBP).

Warriors Pitcher Of Note:  David Price Gerrit Cole got screwed out of a win on Sunday night a good hour before I got screwed out of a win and GOOD I AM GLAD but also what a shame cuz it helped the ‘Topes (14 IP, 3 ER, 10 Ks, 2 QS, 1.93 ERA).

 

BBOTW “BREAKDOWN”

 

USUALLY I break this thang down with at least some level of detail but since Mikey T wouldn’t shut the fuck up about a matchup that didn’t budge the standings one bit you can just refer back to his running commentary. Isotopes tied the hitting cats 2-2-3 and “won” the pitching cats 3-2-2.

In Week 18 the Astoria Isotopes face the Barnegat Banana Slugs WITH A BYE ON THE LINE, so if he talks a lot about this one at least it will make slightly more sense. In Week 18 the Garden State Warriors take on the Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz NOT WITH A BYE ON THE LINE they seemingly locked one up but yea. Certainly the one seed will be on the line and certainly they will have the chance to send the Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz to the depths of hell and/or the offseason.

 

 

Week 18:  Isotopes v. Slugs (12-4-1 v. 12-5, CO-BBOTW)

                   Warriors @ Sliderz (13-4 @ 7-9-1)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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2018 Backyard Regular Season Finale is very much upon us, leading us straight into the 2018 Backyard Bracket. And just about nothing is settled, other than the fact that the Bell Road Bears have been Dumpster Bears of late. Quick rundown of what’s at stake in Week 18 for historical documentation:

 

  • In the first of our unprecedented CO-BACKYARD BATTLE(S) OF THE WEEK, the Astoria Isotopes host the Barnegat Banana Slugs with the winner guaranteed to grab a bye. There’s also the opportunity for one (or both) of them to grab the Backyard Brackets top seed (if the Warriors lose, more on that later) so I guess that was perhaps why ‘Topes ownership was acting all hot and bothered all Sunday evening, but still fuck them.
  • In the second CO-BBOTW, the River City Bad Dudes host a reeling Bell Road Bears franchise in what amounts to a play-in game for the Backyard Bracket. The Bears could get up the 4 seed with a win coupled with a RRF loss, the Bad Dudes seemingly can’t get higher than 5 but their PRECIOUS playoffs streak is at stake in this one.
  • Those top-seeded Garden State Warriors head into Week 18 comfortably locked into a bye BUT uncomfortably still able to lose the top seed, with a loss coupled with an Isotopes win. As discussed that hasn’t mattered since the great McLOdom/Heroy #1 seed vs. #2 seed BCS ties of 2013 BUT yanno, still would like to hold onto top seed I s’pose. This matchup is more important because pretty much every team from the 5 seed to the 9 seed will be watching the fate of the Lacey Township BackdoorSliderza loss for them opening up all sorts of possibilities both above and below.
  • One team looking to cash in on those possibilies is the Mission Valley X*Rayzwho need to defeat Rojo’s Renegade Force and get wins out of the Bears and Warriors in order to grab a spot in the Bracket and have a chance to properly defend their title. The 2017 OGTFC are as of right now the only defending champeen to fail to make the “playoffs” (yuck) the following season. As for Rojo’s Renegade Force, MAYBE THEY WANNA TRY AND WIN FOR A CHANGE as a loss coupled with a Bears win drops them down to the 5 seed on account of the crazy like 4th tiebreaker or whatever WINS. And having a lower seed in Round 1 can bite a team in the ass, as the RRF are aware (they lost to the eventual champion #4 seed OGTFC on a 6-6-2 tie in 2016).
  • And LAST BUT NOT LEAST, even the goddamned matchup with the goddamned 2-15 team has some intrigue. Q-Tip City Morning Wood are looking to match their wins total of 3 from last season, apparently that has some sort of significance to them and I consider that truly admirable. The OceanGate Trout Fishing Club on the other hand are looking for some sort of 2008 Philadelphia Eagles sneak into the playoffs shenanigans. A win over the Bonerz coupled with losses by the X*RayzBackdoorSliderz, and Bad Dudes and RATHER IMPROBABLY the OGTFC are in the Backyard Bracket as your 7-9-2 #6 seed.

 

 

so yea…………..crazy shit man…………………..

 

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2018 Week 17 Review: “CRAZY FUCKING SHIT I TELL YA” Edition