2018 Week 2 Review: “The Illusion of Parity” Edition

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We are a mereeee two weeks in and we have two undefeateds, two haven’t won yets, and a bunch of 1-1s. SOME MAY CALL THIS PARITY. I call it the illusion of parity. I say that even though I had a projected final standings where everyone was within like a game or two of each other. So I am a hypocrite. But yea let’s give it a few weeks before drawing conclusions. But yea let’s also see how we fared in our first “normal” week of action (note: was not at all normal, rainouts are a B).

 

 

 

 

 

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Mission Valley X*Rayz Humble The Very Team They Hyped, Defeat Lacey Township Backdoor Sliderz  –  7-3-4

 

MVP:  Jose “EVERYTHING HURTS!!!” Martinez  –  The X*Rayz managed to pull off the old “win without anyone having a particularly good week on your ENTIRE TEAM” trick which always makes these MVPs a bit dicey. Nobody hit more than 2 dongs, only two guys scored more than 5 runs, nobody pitched all that lights out. BUT Jose Martinez whined his way to a .500+ OBP and a team-high 7 RBIs so he is your MVP here.  9/22, 2 Rs, 4 2Bs, 1 HR, 7 RBIs, .519 OBP

LVP:  Jose Altuve    Altuve is getting dinged here because of EXPECTATIONS, because again nobody on the BdSliderz was particularly AWFUL in this defeat. But Jose did not do much of anything except for a few empty singles and a pair of walks and he is EXPECTED to do more, as he goes so goes the Lacey Twp. The team not the town, the town cannot be salvaged at this point.  7/23, 2 Rs, 1 RBI, .385 OBP

 

X*Rayz Hitter Of Note:  Nice lil week from Billy Hamilton, HIT A DINGER EVEN, and yea if he could get on base a third of the time all the time who even KNOWS how many bags he could steal (5/26, 6 Rs, 1 HR, 2 RBIs, 3 SBs, .333 OBP).

X*Rayz Pitcher Of Note:  Miles Mikolas did kinda okay last week and he looks kinda okay, but maybe just okay and maybe just kinda (13.1 IP, 5 ER, 9 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 3.38 ERA).

 

BdSliderz Hitter Of Note:  Even in defeat, the BdSliderz can take comfort knowing that Ozzie Albies is a beast (10/23, 6 Rs, 5 2Bs, 2 HRs, 5 RBIs, .458 OBP).

BdSliderz Pitcher Of Note:  And also Blake Snell SHOWING SIGNS OF LIFE, didn’t even walk a guy in this start which is perhaps a first for him (6 IP, 1 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.50 ERA).

 

Week 3:  X*Rayz v. ‘Topes (1-1 v. 1-1),

                BdSliderz @ MW (1-1 @ 0-2)

 

 

 

 

Chicago Cubs second baseman Javier Baez on his bat-flip: "I will learn from it. That's all I have to say."
Garden State Warriors Win A Sneaky Close Pitching Duel Versus The Q-Tip City Morning Wood  –  8-4-2

 

MVP:  Javier Baez  –  Javy Baez out here FINALLY DOIN SOMETHING, only 5 hits but four of them left the yard and the 5th went for two bases. This matchup was actually rather tight on both sides of the ball so the Warriors ended up needed every last R and every last RBI outta this man. Cuz they won each of those cats by 1. #analysis.  5/20, 6 Rs, 1 2B, 4 HRs, 10 RBIs, 1 SB, .286 OBP

LVP:  Brandon Belt    And given the tightness of said offensive cats, Brandon Belt’s big empty OBP week did the QTCMW no favors and helped SPOIL a week in which they really held their own on the pitching side against the vaunted Warriors staff. But yea, offense and stuff.  3/16, 1 R, 1 RBI, .364 OBP

 

Warriors Hitter Of Note:  Andrew Benintendi BITCHED OUT of a possible JROLL by not socking a dinger, like the Red Sawks bitch he is, but yea still a nice weekt (9/21, 4 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 7 RBIs, 1 SB, .500 OBP).

Warriors Pitcher Of Note:  Don’t want to alarm anyone but Dylan Bundy is showing some signs of acehood, this is also where I should note that if the Warriors hadn’t got their 12th start cancelled a few times they would have likely topped the all-time Ks record that was set by them way back in 2014 (12.2 IP, 3 ER, 16 Ks, 1 QS, 2.13 ERA).

 

MW Hitter Of Note:  JD Martinez had himself a nice little week and one can surmise from these hitters of note that the Red Sawks offense is doing alright right about now (8/25, 4 Rs, 2 2Bs, 2 HRs, 9 RBIs, .333 OBP).

MW Pitcher Of Note:  The poor Morning Wood staff DID THE DAMN THING just to try and keep pace with the Warriors and ended up losing ERA anyways (2.498 to 2.520), but yea nobody for the Bonerz did the damn thing more than Carlos Martinez (13 IP, 1 ER, 15 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 0.69 ERA). (Nice.)

 

Week 3:  Warriors @ Bad Dudes (2-0 @ 1-1, BBOTW ‘cuz I said so) 

                MW v. BdSliderz (0-2 v. 1-1)

 

 

 

 

 

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Rojo’s Renegade Force Roll Past River City Bad Dudes, Threaten Once Again To Have A Great First Of The Schedule At A Minimum  –  8-6-0

 

MVP:  Paul Goldschmidt  –  The Renegade Force offense was the best offense in the first week where I actually tally offensive stats, so they are rewarded with a bunch of 2018 records that will likely be broken any week now. But FOR NOW they are all over that offensive record board and Mr. Goldschmidt obviously had a hand in that, as he tends to do.  10/24, 8 Rs, 1 2B, 1 3B, 4 HRs, 8 RBIs, .462 OBP

LVP:  Nomar Mazara    PRETTY UNINSPIRED STUFF outta Nomar Mazara, has me thinking about what to name it when a guy gets a bunch of ABs but ends up with no counting stats. Perhaps a REYROLL in honor of Rey Ordonez’s counting stat inept rookie season(/career)? We will consider it.  6/21, .286 OBP and das it

 

RRF Hitter Of Note:  Chris Taylor socked 100% of his total 2018 dingers and knocked in 75% of his total 2018 RBIs in Week 2, so heating up folks let’s see if he’s still got it (6/22, 4 Rs, 1 2B, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs, .304 OBP).

RRF Pitcher Of Note:  Corey Kluber is v good (8 IP, 0 ER, 13 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 0.00 ERA).

 

Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note:  AJ Pollock managed to lead the Bad Dudes in HRs (tied with Chapman) and RBIs while also having a bad OBP and only 3 hits, so THAT IS INTERESTING MAYBE (3/20, 2 Rs, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs, 1 SB, .182 OBP).

Bad Dudes Pitcher Of Note:  And at least, the Bad Dudes have found themselves a Jacob Junis to roster for at least another start or two (11.2 IP, 4 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 3.09 ERA).

 

Week 3: RRF @ Slugs (2-0 @ 1-1)

                Bad Dudes v. Warriors (1-1 v. 2-0, BBOTW)

 

 

 

 

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OceanGate Trout Fishing Club Salt The Slugs, Defeat the Barnegat Banana Slugs, Also I Really Need To Stop Using This Line In These  –  8-5-1

 

MVP:  Mookie Betts  –  Mookie Betts had a helluva line while only taking one AB on Saturday and zero ABs on Sunday cuz his footsy wootsy hurtsy wurtsys. so AGAIN, I think the Sawks offense is cooking with gas right now. Firing on all cylinders. Etc. etc. etc. Here’s to hoping they all slump simultaneously as well.  6/18, 8 Rs, 4 2Bs, 1 HR, 8 RBIs, .409 

LVP:  Ender Inciarte    I mean on the one hand here Ender gave em 2 steals, I MEAN WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ENDER. Probably for Ender to get on base a bit more and score a few runs, I guess.  1/17, 2 SBs, .158 OBP

 

OGTFC Hitter Of Note:  Mike Trout remains really good at baseball, to the point that I am kinda bored of him (8/23, 6 Rs, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs, .467 OBP).

OGTFC Pitcher Of Note:  For some reason I always feel like Justin Verlander just had that year where his ERA was like 4.50 two years ago but then I look up and it was actually four years ago and he is actually really good again, our simple and incorrect concept of time is funny like that (15 IP, 1 ER, 20 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 0.60 ERA).

 

Slugs Hitter Of Note:  Howz about DJ LeMahieu with the POWER STROKE, he’s up to 5 HRs when he had 8 all of last season and someone needs to go check if he’s been fucking around with that launch angle swing change balleyhoo (10/30, 6 Rs, 3 2Bs, 3 HRs, 5 RBIs, .355 OBP).

Slugs Pitcher Of Note:  Max Scherzer also remains really really good at the kind of baseball he is supposed to be good at, at this point there’s really no line I could read for his week that would shock me with its nastiness he’s the best pitcher in the Backyard folks (16 IP, 2 ER, 21 Ks, 2 QS, 1 CG, 2 Ws, 1.13 ERA).

 

Week 3:   OGTFC v. Babadooks (1-1 v. 0-2)

                 Slugs v. RRF (1-1 v. 2-0)

 

 

 

 

2018 WEEK 2 BACKYARD BATTLE OF THE WEEK, SPONSORED BY YARDS BREWING COMPANY

Image result for yards brewing companyThe delay in this review ALSO sponsored by Yards, but yea next week I will think of something non-alcohol related I assure you….

 

 

 

 

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Astoria Isotopes Get The Best of The Bellcrest Park Babadooks Once Again, Dammit All To Hell  –  9-2-3

 

MVP:  Mike Moustakas  –  SICKENINGLY the douche above, I guess giving himself moose horns (?), is the guy that killed me the most in this matchup. Followed closely by the HR GAWD Khris Davis, but yea Moose was all over the Babadooks this week in a depressing matchup where we couldn’t close the gaps we needed to close and come out of it looking like we got beat worse than we probably got beat. So fuck Mike Moustakas.  11/25, 6 Rs, 2 2Bs, 3 HRs, 7 RBIs, .440 OBP

LVP:  Edwin Encarnacion    SICKENINGLY have to give this one to Edwin, which always pains me, but he is the guy from my own team that killed me most in this matchup. Followed closely by Lewis Brinson whom is attempting to play himself onto the waiver wire once his eligibility is up. And yanno not counting all the pitchers that got bombed. But yea I think I still have to give this to Edwin 😦 HE REYROLL’D IT.  1/17, .158 OBP

 

Isotopes Hitter Of Note:  I could point out Khris Davis‘s 4 HRs and 7 RBIs but I would rather point out Nolan Arenado did nothing except rip that one triple and get suspended WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO THAT GUY the Isotopes locker room culture is out of control (3/15, 1 2B, 1 3B, .333 OBP).

Isotopes Pitcher Of Note:  Two starts from Chris Sale was really all the ‘Topes needed to blow past the MEAGER K numbers from the Babadooks, and also enough to keep their terrible ERA less terrible than mine (11 IP, 2 ER, 16 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.64 ERA).

 

Babadooks Hitter Of Note:  The only joy that I could really take from this matchup was the fact that the throw-in guy from the Arenado trade, Scott Kingery, guy ‘Topes management knew next to nothing about, had the best week of all the players involved in said deal (8/26, 5 Rs, 4 2Bs, 2 HRs, 11 RBIs, .321 OBP).

Babadooks Pitcher Of Note:  ALL THE PITCHERS SUCKED, and Alex Wood you’re a dick as well, but I guess from an ERA standpoint Lance McCullers sucked most (3.2 IP, 8 ER, 6 Ks, 19.64 ERA).

 

BBOTW BREAKDOWN

 

This one got BBOTW status as a rivalry game of sorts, the ‘Topes having handed us two of the 3 regular season losses we amassed in 2017 and EVEN SO we still ended up trading them Nolan Arenado. So this was the week where the spoils from the ‘Nado trade came back to batter the Isotopes and uhhhh KINGERY WAS GOOD, Rhys Hoskins WAS OKAY, Cody Bellinger WASN’T TERRIBLE. But none of that mattered because pitching was awful and the team hit its way to a sub .300 OBP and that is just never a good thing. BUT LETS TOUCH ON THE PITCHING THING REAL QUICK. Things were looking kinda sorta okay for the Babadooks heading into Wednesday and then on Wednesday they surrendered 18 ER in 9.1 IP. That stung, and even with ‘Topes pitching sucking a bit themselves the Babadooks never really recovered from that day. Maybe even entered Sunday with a chance to recover but just to extinguish hope quickly Zack Godley went out and gave up 5 in 4 innings. So yea this review was all about us and our failures, SOME PRETTY BAD STARTS FROM SOME PRETTY GOOD PITCHERS IMHO. The Isotopes got a bad start of their own from Jose Quintana but Sale propped up the staff enough, the bats hit enough dingers, Jean Segura and Nado each chipped in three baggers, and when it’s all said and done the Babadooks franchise loses their third straight to the ‘Topes and this one looked pretty ugly. I WANT REVENNNNNNNGE.

In Week 3 the Isotopes will head to Mission Valley looking to take down the defending champions; each team rebounded from a Week 1 defeat to win in Week 2. And on the BCPB side the ‘Dooks will be looking to avoid an ugly 0-3 start when they take on the KINGS of the ugly start, the OceanGate Trout Fishing Club (whom are coming off a nice victory against Barnegat, can’t deny them that).

 

Week 3:  Isotopes @ X*Rayz (1-1 @ 1-1)

                Babadooks @ OGTFC (0-2 @ 1-1)

 

 

 

 

 

 

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So that was Week 2 Review, TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR WEEK 3 REVIEW. Power Rankings won’t arrive until after Week 4 review, which is a reminder that the season is young and I see no contenders for nothin’ quite yet.

 

 

 

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2018 Week 2 Review: “The Illusion of Parity” Edition

2018 Week 1 Review: “The Emperor Begins His Crown Defense” Edition

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Cuz Odom is just getting SO SKINNY these days with all that walking in the California sun…..

 

 

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Also here is a California raisin….

 

 

 

Before we begin I would like to welcome everyone back to the Backyard blog’s WEEK REVIEWWWWWWS. And welcome you all to the 2018 SEASONNNNNNNN. Give yourselves a round of applause. COUPLE OF QUICK CHANGES:

  • I am tired of fucking writing about your sometimes uninteresting matchups. Also I want to streamline this format so any old schmuck could review a week if they are feeling randy. So these reviews will be pretty box score-y EXCEPT for the BBOTW.
  • ON THAT NOTE. Only a true coward would pick his “Backyard Battle of the Week” (NEWER SNAPPIER NAME) after the week has ended and quite frankly I am disgusted with you all for letting me get away with it for this long. From now on that shit gets picked ahead of time, based on personal preference of the review writer. And then that shit is the only shit that gets thoroughly reviewed with paragraphs and stuff.

 

 

Some other news and notes….

  • POWER RANKINGS, I’ve decided those don’t make much sense early in the season. You could argue you already sorta have my preseason Power Rankings with my projected standings, which is what I am arguing right now. Beyond that the first batch is scheduled for beginning of May, followed by rankings top o’ the month for June July and August. So I guess I’ve STREAMLINED that to 4 editions of Power Rankings per season. If anyone is really itching for them in April here feel free to write your own.
  • ONE LAST NOTE AND THIS IS AN IMPORTANT ONE:  MONEY. We all like it, and this league needs to start bringing some in so I can hire someone to proofread things I am too lazy to. Jk that wouldn’t be what it is for BUT I am hereby proposing a $20 buy-in for the Backyard, starting this season, to be paid to the champeen and runner-up and whatnot via Venmo or some shit at the end of the season. I think I’ve already gotten soft verbals from like 7 of you or so, the cash breakdown would be as follows:

$140 –  BCS Champ

$40 – BCS Runner-up

$20-  Trophy Maintenance (aka to pay for the little plaque thingie to be                          added each year).

Think about it folks, talk about it amongst yourselves, I think it is a fine idea because the trophy should be paid for each year, but I know change is hard so fully prepared for this idea to go nowhere. But it is a good one. 

 

 

 

ALRIGHT I think we are all caught up here let’s get on with this shit. Just to show how zaaaneeeey these changes have become I am just reviewing Week 1 in a random order that I prefer. I reserve the right to review future weeks based on margin of victory though, as was customary in simpler times….

 

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Barnegat Banana Slugs Take Control Of Matchup Pretty Much By Wednesday, Batter The Bellcrest Park Babadooks In Notoriously Unpredictive Week 1 Matchup  –  9-4-1

 

MVP:  Patrick Corbin  –  Patrick Corbin gave the MooniniteZ 12 quality innings in 2017 and in 2018 he came out and gave the Babadooks the fucking BUSINESS. Gotta like what you’re seeing from Patrick Corbin thus far, he’s throwing his slider 45% of the time cuz fuck a fastball.  13 IP, 2 ER, 20 Ks, 1 QS, 2 Ws,  1.38 ERA

LVP:  Joey Votto    When your team scores the fewest runs/knocks the fewest dongs in the week SOMEONE MUST BE BLAMED so I blame Votto, who somehow scored ZERO times (and pretty much did nothing) in 31 ABs and even more horrifyingly only managed one walk.  7/31, 2 RBIs, .265 OBP

 

Banana Slugs Hitter Of Note:  The Slugs scored the second most runs in all the land in Week 1 and some credit has to go to Brett Gardner there as he’s already up to 10 (10/42, 10 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 HR, 3 RBIs, .347 OBP).

Banana Slugs Pitcher Of Note:  The Slugs also EASILY put together the best ERA in all of the Backyard, and narrowly tossed the most Ks, thanks to your Corbins and your Charlie Morton and such and such (12 IP, 0 ER, 13 Ks, 2 QS, 2 Ws, 0.00 ERA).

 

Babadooks Hitter Of Note:  All Smoaks aside Rhys Hoskins was one of the few batters to actually show up for the Babadooks in Week 1 (11/25, 6 Rs, 5 2Bs, 1 HR, 7 RBIs, 2 SBs, .559 OBP).

Babadooks Pitcher Of Note:  And then on the pitching side of things Alex Wood and his piss poor velocity accounted for 40% of our total QS EVERYTHING IS FINE THOUGH WE ARE FINE (14 IP, 3 ER, 10 Ks, 2 QS, 1.93 ERA).

 

Week 2:  Slugs v. OGTFC (2017’s #2 v. 2017’s #7),

                Babadooks @ ‘Topes (2017’s #1 @ 2017’s #6, BBOTW CUZ ‘NADO TRADE)

 

 

 

 

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Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz Reinforce Odom’s Prediction FOR NOW With Solid Victory Over Astoria Isotopes  –  8-5-1

 

MVP:  Freddie Freeman  –  Freddie Freeman remains really good, not sureeee what else to say about that. I say this is the year he ends up as the top rated fantasy 1B. Cuz yanno Rhys Hoskins will probably be seen as an LF and all that.  11/30, 10 Rs, 5 2Bs, 2 HRs, 11 RBIs, .558 OBP

LVP:  Miguel Andujar    The Yanks rook only had 17 ABs for the ‘Topes but LET US BLAME HIM ANYWAYS, as they were mostly unproductive ABs and mostly the ‘Topes had a very good offensive week.  2/17, 1 R, 2 RBIs, .167 OBP

 

BdSliderz Hitter Of Note:  The BdSliderz put together not one but TWO JROLL this week, so many that I almost made the picture up top J-Roll to anger him, but yea one was “Carlos Eduardo Gonzalez” so we all know the one I am gonna highlight is Ozzie Albies tha god (10/41, 9 Rs, 3 2Bs, 1 3B, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs, 1 SB, .262 OBP).

BdSliderz Pitcher Of Note:  Jameson Taillon have yourself a WEEK young man, who needs two balls anyways (14.1 IP, 2 ER, 16 Ks, 1 QS, 1 CG, 2 Ws, 1.26 ERA).

 

Isotopes Hitter Of Note:  The ‘Topes DID lead the league in runs in Week 1 so that’s uhhh something to build on, Charlie Blackmon right in the mix as per usual (10/36, 9 Rs, 2 2Bs, 4 HRs, 6 RBIs, 1 SB, .366 OBP).

Isotopes Pitcher Of Note:  Cole Hamels had a sorta fascinating week, racking up 23 Ks across two starts but also failing to rack up any QS and pitching to an ERA of 5 or so (16 IP, 9 ER, 23 Ks, 1 W, 5.06 ERA).

 

Week 2:   BdSliderz v. X*Rayz (2017’s #5 v. 2017’s #3/CHAMPEEN)

                ‘Topes v. Babadooks (2017’s #1 @ 2017’s #6, BBOTW)

 

 

 

 

 

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River City Bad Dudes Bully The OceanGate Trout Fishing Club On Both Sides Of The Ball, Win  –  8-4-2

 

MVP:  AJ Pollock  –  AJ POLLOCK JROLL! A fine lookin’ JROLL at that. All of a sudden JROLLs are in large supply around here, not sure how I will feel about this if it continues. But for Week 1 we will just enjoy the JROLLs and blame the extra game or two or whatever.  12/35, 7 Rs, 6 2Bs, 1 3B, 1 HR, 6 RBIs, 3 SBs, .425 OBP

LVP:  Anthony Rizzo    Pretty weak effort for Anthony Rizzo by Rizzoian standards, and I always knew I didn’t like his face and this just proves why or something.  3/28, 2 Rs, 1 HR, 3 RBIs, .219 OBP

 

Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note:  Here’s another hitter that hit good for the Bad Dudes, and truthfully he should be matchup MVP cuz he hit six goddamned HRs, but I am so tired of Google image searching Bryce Harper pics for these things so I am giving myself a pass for Week 1 (10/29, 10 Rs, 6 HRs, 12 RBIs, 1 SB, .535 OBP).

Bad Dudes Pitcher Of Note:  And Sean Manaea had a nice little week on the bump, and who knows how many times I will be able to say that going forward (15.2 IP, 2 ER, 11 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 1.15 ERA).

 

Fishing Club Hitter Of Note:  Mookie Lynn Betts performed well in Week 1 but yes this is also just an excuse to write out that name (12/33, 8 Rs, 3 2Bs, 1 HR, 2 RBIs, 2 SBs, .475 OBP).

Fishing Club Pitcher Of Note:  And also Gerrit Cole, he did not struggle with his initial jaunt into the American League and then of course he didn’t struggle yet again when he got the Padres at home (14 IP, 1 ER, 22 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 0.64 ERA).

 

Week 2:  Bad Dudes v. RRF (2017’s #4/runner-up:( v. 2017’s #8)

                OGTFC @ Slugs (2017’s #7 @ 2017’s #2)

 

 

 

 

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Rojo’s Renegade Force Rally To Snatch Victory From The Jaws Of A Tie, Defeat Q-Tip City Morning Wood  –  7-6-1

 

MVP:  Shohei Ohtani  –  Let’s allll get used to seeing this guy’s MUG every time the Renegade Force grab a victory, particularly in weeks like this when he logs two starts and also two dongs for them. Will be interesting to see if the RRF learn how to properly work him into the lineup, as they left a 3 run jack on the bench due to a little uncertainty adapting to this newfangled weapon. Despite that Ohtani looked really good on the mound and really good at the dish and logged 2 QS, 2 Ws, and 2 HRs for Rojo and NOBODY HAS EVER DONE THAT BEFORE IN THIS LEAGUE. Historical stuff, you guys.  4/14, 2 Rs, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs, .333 OBP  OH BUT ALSO  13 IP, 3 ER, 18 Ks, 2 QS, 2 Ws, 2.08 ERA

LVP:  Julio Teheran    Julio got off to a fairly poor start to 2018, to the point where the Bonerz probably wish he just lined up for one start in Week 1 rather than two.  8 IP, 9 ER, 5 Ks, 10.13 ERA

 

RRF Hitter Of Note:  Zack Cozart had himself a fine week as he attempts to remove the “surprising” tag from his surprising 2017 season, the blog appreciates that he did not steal a base as that would have been one too many Rollinses for this week IMHO (11/44, 7 Rs, 3 2Bs, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs, .313 OBP).

RRF Pitcher Of Note:  And also in the non-Ohtani Asian pitchers market Masahiro Tanaka had a lovely little week, I’ve always been a fan but only really went as far as offering like Matt Carpenter for him so here we are (12.1 IP, 4 ER, 15 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 2.92 ERA).

 

MW Hitter Of Note:  AND THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT, fucking 2 more JROLLS that I didn’t even notice til the exact moment I wrote this sentence but one was StarMar and the other is Yankee legend DIDIIIIIII who had himself a fucking WEEK (12/32, 10 Rs, 6 2Bs, 1 3B, 3 HRs, 10 RBIs, 2 SBs, .524 OBP).

MW Pitcher Of Note:  Jacob Faria also had himself a fucking week but in the bad way, this is across two starts folks (5.2 IP, 9 ER, 2 Ks, 14.29 ERA).

 

Week 2:   RRF @ Bad Dudes (2017’s #8 @ 2017’s #4/runner-up:( )

                 AM Wood @ Warriors (2017’s #10 @ 2017’s #9)

 

 

 

 

2018 WEEK 1 BACKYARD BATTLE OF THE WEEK, SPONSORED BY BALLAST POINT’S GRAPEFRUIT SCULPIN

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Cuz it is delicious so fuck you….

 

 

 

 

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Golden State Warriors Battle Mission Valley X*Rayz Back And Forth On A Sunday, End Up Grabbing The W Over The Defendings  –  7-5-2

 

MVP:  Miguel Sano  – Fresh off the non-suspension for that time he off that time where he DIDN’T attempt to assault that young girl in that mall or whatever (I think he probably did it but what do I know), Miguel Sano has opened the season not suspended and has made the most of that non-suspension. I am not going to write anything more and pretend that is out of some moral high ground but really I just don’t know what else to add.  8/27, 7 Rs, 3 2Bs, 3 HRs, 8 RBIs, .405 OBP

LVP:  Orlando Arcia    TOUGH START to the Orlando Arcia Era in Mission Valley as he looked to establish himself as a replacement for Elvis Andrus. Early returns weren’t terribly encouraging. to replicate Gyorko you didn’t do much, you jerko. I dunno someone needs to go here and your OBP sucked more than Bregman’s.  1/11, 2 Rs, .231 OBP

 

Warriors Hitter Of Note:  Christian Yelich had a solid week but I am mostly pointing him out cuz he hit the oleeee 10 day DL, along with Wil Myers, so the Warriors will have their offensive flexibility tested a wee bit in their Week 2 matchup (10/26, 6 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 HR, 5 RBIs, .407 OBP).

Warriors Pitcher Of Note:  The Warriors’ 136 total Ks were actually THIRD this week behind 137 from the ‘Topes and 138 from the Slugs, so that is nice and tidy Jose Berrios had a huge CG I could talk about but I would rather note that Clayton Kershaw started three times and got fucked out of three Ws by the ailing Dodgers offense (19 IP, 4 ER, 19 Ks, 3 QS, 1.89 ERA).

 

X*Rayz Hitter Of Note:  FORTUNATELY for the X*Rayz re: Arcia, another SS rose to the occasion and early returns were far more encouraging for that one and his name is Tim Anderson and he had a friend die once (8/29, 7 Rs, 3 HRs, 4 RBIs, 5 SBs, .364 OBP).

X*Rayz Pitcher Of Note:  Luis Miguel Castillo got off to a litttttle bit of a suspect start for everybody’s darling breakout pick, but one of those starts was against the Nats so give that a little bit of a pass and really I think this middle names thing is the far more suspect situation in the early going here (CUZ IT IS REALLY EARLY PEOPLE) (10 IP, 10 ER, 9 Ks, 9.00 ERA).

 

BBOTW BREAKDOWN

 

I picked this one prior to the week beginning due to it featuring our defending champ and TURNS OUT this may have been the week’s best matchup, as there were a few lead changes on Sunday owing to a razor-thin OBP margin for much of the afternoon. Truth be told I hinted the X*Rayz might be dead in the water MUCH EARLIER in the week and they rallied and rallied good over the weekend, on the backs of identical 2 HR/7 RBI Friday and Saturdays and uhhh OTHER STUFF. But in spite of their best efforts they were unable to overcome that dastardly Jose Berrios CG, and the narrow OBP lead faltered (with the Warriors demonstrating some ACTUAL MANAGING for a change with their benching of Rendon in the night game). The 14-14 deadlock in HRs has to sting for Mission Valley, typically a light-on-HRs type squad, as does the always insulting to injury loss of the triples cat despite multiple 3Bs (3-2), but in the end this one came down to the Warriors demonstrating their usually strong pitching and the depleted staff of the X*Rayz failing to keep up. And that Berrios CG. Can’t overstate how big that was because I kinda understate it by not giving him Pitcher of Note or MVP or nuttin.

In Week 2 the Warriors will look to ACTUALLY MANAGE their way to another win versus last year’s dead last Woke Up With A Boner Squad, despite two star bats set to miss all or most of the matchup (Wil Myers Christian Yelich). The X*Rayz, meanwhile, head to Lacey Township hoping to avoid a Heroyian 0-2 start to their title defense campaign.

 

Week 2:  Warriors v. AM Wood (2017’s #9 v. 2017’s #10)

                X*Rayz @ BdSliderz (2017’s #3/CHAMPEEN @ 2017’s #5)

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Thanks for tuning in to the Week 1 Review and my MONSTER ANALYSIS (see what I did there?!). Going forward somebody else feel free to volunteer for the occasional review, the template is here people.

 

2018 Week 1 Review: “The Emperor Begins His Crown Defense” Edition

2018 Trade Review: Bruce – Miller, NOW WITH LESS ASSAULT

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Only cuz Heroy noted nobody discussed it. FINE we will fucking discuss it ya baby……

 

 

 

 

THE TRADE?

  • Apr 4, 3:21 AM in the gotdamned morning
  • OGFC traded Andrew Miller, Cle RP to XYZ
    XYZ traded Jay Bruce, NYM RF to OGFC

 

 

THE WHO?

Fishing Club Return

JAY BRUCE, 31 year old Mets RF and a guy that can hit some dingers, nobody is saying that he can’t hit some dingers.  .324 OBP, 29 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 36 HRs, 82 Rs, 101 RBIs, 1 SB for 2 teams across 555 ABs in 2017.  SO real good XBH numbers, and can he keep it up? I dunno probably can. You always wonder if going to the Mets saps morale (Todd Frazier already feels less joyous to me) and if the Mets training staff increases DL stints but WHAT DO I KNOW, and Jay is still fairly young and has fairly consistent underlying numbers that point to the basics in those numbers being mostly repeatable. More time in the OF and less time in the 1B maybe leads to more time off but maybe….not. I am not sure of anything today. 

 

X*Rayz Return

ANDREW MILLER, 32.88 year old southpaw reliever for the Indians and the best non-closer reliever in alllll of baseball. 4-3, 27 Holds, 2 Saves, 95 Ks in 62.2 IP (15.43 K/9), 1.44 ERA (1.99 FIP) in 2017. What is there really to sayyyyy here, Miller is the best holds guy in a holds league. Usually by a pretty sizable margin. And I doubt that changes this year and I’m sure he grabs a few saves to boot (more if Allen gets injured) and a bunch of Ks and bam business as usual.

 

 

 

THE WHY?

Uhhhh not too sure really. Seems the OGTFC were desperate to move Miller, perhaps for an OF, I hope for an OF cuz there’s probably better non-OF bats on the waiver wire right now. And seems the X*Rayz just took what was given to them. #analysis

 

 

THE WINNER?

THE X*RAYZ. I like the X*Rayz side here because TO ME Jay Bruce is still a borderline replacement-level bat, particularly now that he’s got the Mets stank on him. Nothing like a trip back to the Mets to drag down your morale and your numbers. So yea Jay Bruce is like, guy that may be outperformed by Corey Dickerson and Andrew Miller is best holds guy in league that counts holds. Gotta give this one to the latter side. THIS WAS RELATIVELY BORING THOUGH pick up the pace, league.

2018 Trade Review: Bruce – Miller, NOW WITH LESS ASSAULT

2018 TRADE REVIEW: A BARNEGAT BAUER OUTAGE?!?!

 

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THE TRADE?

  • Mar 28, 5:38 PM
  • BBS traded Jake Lamb, Ari 3B to WOOD
    BBS traded Rick Porcello, Bos SP to WOOD
    WOOD traded Trevor Bauer, Cle SP to BBS

 

THE WHO?

Banana Slugs Return

TREVOR BAUER, 

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball/trevor-bauer-major-league-baseball-censored-article-1.3865623

http://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/20829464/cleveland-indians-pitcher-trevor-bauer-loses-drone-park

https://deadspin.com/trevor-bauer-had-a-rough-start-and-then-went-on-a-twitt-1819311300

https://deadspin.com/we-regret-to-inform-you-that-trevor-bauer-is-at-it-agai-1792215724

 

https://deadspin.com/5984242/is-trevor-bauers-terrible-new-rap-song-a-diss-track-directed-at-miguel-montero

 

 

just need to note the one tweet a little bit harder here:

@GManfan64 @Apple @Twitter lol ummm. Lol yeah. You say that to one of the most scientific baseball players in MLB. Ok lol

— Trevor Bauer (@BauerOutage) February 10, 2017

 

 

Morning Wood Return

DOESN’T MATTER I’ve got all I need here…

 

 

THE WHY?

I dunno man.

 

 

THE WINNER?

THE MORNING WOOD. The Morning Wood win this trade. lol umm Trevor Bauer go away lol. Or at least log off the Twitter Ok lol.

 

 

 

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2018 TRADE REVIEW: A BARNEGAT BAUER OUTAGE?!?!

2018 10 TEAMS IN 10 DAYS: #1 MISSION VALLEY X*RAYZ

AND SO WE ARRIVE AT OPENING DAY, AND AT THE 2017 CHAMPS….

2017 RECORD: 10-6-2

KNOW YOUR OWNER!: COMMISSIONER ODOM AND THE X*RAYZ, your 2017 champs BOW BEFORE THE CROWN YOU BITCHES. That was a bit much but yea, Odom returned to glory last season and captured his 4th title in 7 seasons (insert all your bullshit about the co-managing here) despite once again starting with an unimpressive looking roster. The X*Rayz were the X-Rayz back then and rode that roster to an 8-2-1 finish to the season, grabbing the third seed. And then they marched right through ALL CHALLENGERS in the playoffs (unfortunate BCS incident that we will not get into aside) and came out of things with the cup and all the glory. So now they get that lovely little trophy-based team logo. And their name on the trophy if we ever fucking get around to properly updating it (I predict it takes a year or two). ODOM IS GREAT AND THE X*RAYZ WON THE CHIP LAST SEASON WHICH MAKES THEM ALSO GREAT. BEST OF LUCK TO THE COMMISH IN THE UPCOMING SEASON!

 

 

KEY ADDITIONS!: LF Marcel Ozuna, CF Delino Deshields, 3B Nicholas Castellanos, RF Jay Bruce, RF Scott “Young Jay Bruce” Schebler, PERHAPS SS Orlando Arcia, PERHAPS 1B/LF Ian Desmond, PERHAPS but definitely don’t count on it SP Miles Mikolas.

 

KEY SUBTRACTIONS!: 2B Daniel Murphy, SP David Price, RP Aroldis Chapman, 1B Rhys Hoskins, SP Robbie Ray, 3B Evan Longoria, SS Elvis Andrus, LF Adam Duvall (pretty much cancelled out by Bruce).

 

 

 

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THE HITTERS!: The fun thing about reviewing the X*Rayz in preseason is that you always know the roster will probably look DRASTICALLY different later, and you always know it will probably look super underwhelming upon first glance, and yet you always know Odom is likely to make it work. SPEED KILLS FOLKS. The biggest killer on this particular squad is Jose Ramirez, 7 cat STUD who busted out last year in a hugeeee way with 29 dongs…. plus all the other sexy stuff in all the other cats, FIFTY SIX doubles for example. Jose drives the bus here. Also on the bus are your signature X*Rayz speed demons, Dee Gordon and Billy Hamilton, joined this year by potential breakout candidate once a-fucking-gain DELINO DESHIELDS. This time it is happening folks. Mission Valley also went out and made two excellent trades this offseason (I mean I am sure they made a bunch of trades but I am only recognizing two as excellent for now), snagging Marcel Ozuna and Nicholas Castellanos. The Babadook is rather high on both those two individuals, and considers them to instantly slot in as the 2nd and 3rd best bats on the team. Beyond these names you have PROBABLY dependable bats in Jay Bruce and Trey Mancini and then a wholeeee bunch of question marks (Andrelton Simmons, Orlando Arcia, Ian Desmond, Yadi Molina). Those four are all suspect for various reasons. Oh yea also they have Scott Schebler, whom I like plenty. ANYWHO let’s look at the HR projections for last year’s worst HR hitting team: SIX projected for 20+ with two projected for 30+ (Ozuna 31 and Bruce 33). And here is where I point out the strange obsession with tracking 0+ HR hitters was allllll a ruse. Cuz this team fucking sucked at homers last season and still stood atop the mountain when it was all said and done. Chicks may dig the long ball but the Backyard doesn’t attract need chicks. Cuz cooties.

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The Babadook’s Five Best Bats

1- Jose Ramirez

2- Marcel Ozuna

3- Nicholas Castellanos

4- Dee Gordon

5- Billy Hamilton

 

 

 

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THE PITCHERS!: ABTWTS. Always Be Tinkering With The Starters, that’s how they do things in Mission ValleyOOKING RATHER THIN, here. Out are the team STALWARTS David Price and Robbie Ray (if history is any indication they will roster and trade Ray three more times this season though) and in isssss……youth and Jeff Samardzija. The sexiest of that youth is the young man above, a one Luis Castillo of the Reds. FILTHY stuff which was already on display across about 90 innings last season, guy could certainly grab an All Star bid this year. Chris Archer still remains as the guy least likely to ever be dealt by this deal-heavy team, he’s approaching 30 but just gave you like 250 Ks in 200 innings despite an unlucky ERA HE GOOD. Then you have elder statesman of the staff in Samardzija, not a great ERA last season but a great everything else and a great postseason to help the X*Rayz take home the cup. Then it gets ehhhhhhhhhhh: Tanner Roark is meh, James Shields is only here as a monument I hope, Dinelson Lamet has talent but does not have control and also has an elbow issue so he could show some real growing pains and/or miss a lot of time, Luis Gohara plenty of talent as well but couldn’t really pitch to righties last year and is getting a bunch of “I’m a fatty” type injuries already and who knows what the Braves plans would be for him even if he was healthy. Miles Mikolas who fucking knows. LOTTA RISK in lotta profiles, but Mitch Keller and Sandy Alcantara and AJ Puk also lie in wait as potential impact rookie SPs. So really ya just gotta wait and see here.

The X*Rays B*Pen parted with a stalwart of their own (Chapman) but remains very dangerous on the strength of its big 3: Roberto Osuna, Edwin Diaz, Dellin Betances. Osuna and Diaz are two of the best young closers in the fantasy game today, Diaz prone to a bit more volatility due to walks but both should be pretty excellent with room for growth. And Dellin Betances remains an excellent source of Ks, just take that little quip about walks I just made for Diaz and multiply it by 500 here. HIDEOUS walk rate last year and a testament to his stuff that his ERA wasn’t in the 4s. Mission Valley also appears to be strutting into things with Shane Greene as an additional closer to round out the bullpen and Cam Bedrosian on the bench, SO WATCH THAT BATTLE CLOSELY FOLKS IT SHOULD BE A GOOD ONE. But yea the big three remains very very good here. Dellin please stop walking so many people.

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The Babadook’s Five Best On The Bump

1- Chris Archer

2- Luis Castillo

3- Roberto Osuna

4- Edwin Diaz

5- Jeff Samardzija

 

 

 

THE PREDICTION!: 9-7-2, 3rd place. These Opening Day rosters for this franchise almost NEVER impress for one reason or another and then they either make 650 moves or guts and guile their way into the playoffs anyways. The X*Rayz continue to corner the speed market and that strategy has served them well, they are your defending champeens and I fully expect them to arrive in the playoffs ready to defend. Just not with a bye.

THE COMMISH’S PREDISH! (Odom’s Prediction): 9-7-2, 5th place.

 

 

 

 

 

AND JUST TO WRAP IT ALL UP, SEAN’S PROJECTED PLAYOFFS PREDICTIONS PROJECTIONS FOR THE PREDICTED PLAYOFFS…… how I predict the playoffs will play out:

Round 1:

Bad Dudes DEFEAT X*Rayz

Isotopes DEFEAT BDSliderz

Round 2:

Isotopes DEFEAT Trout Fishing Club

Babadooks DEFEAT Bad Dudes

BCS:

Babadooks DEFEAT Isotopes

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IS WHAT THEY WILL ALL BE CHANTING COME LABOR DAY
2018 10 TEAMS IN 10 DAYS: #1 MISSION VALLEY X*RAYZ

2018 10 TEAMS IN 10 DAYS: #2 RIVER CITY BAD DUDES

 

2017 RECORD:  9-8-1

 

KNOW YOUR OWNER!:  Mike! Mike is still here, still grinding out BCS appearances. NOT WINNIN EM SO MUCH LATELY. But getting there. Which is impressive enough I s’pose. When he’s not scouring waiver wires Lobman enjoys cooking, drinking margaritas, watching CNN, etc. And when he IS scouring waiver wires, he is rather prolific. Last year the Bad Dudes made a league-high SIX HUNDRED EIGHTY FOUR moves in-season, grinded their way to a 4 seed, and then further grinded alllll the way to their third straight BCS appearance. Which resulted in their second straight BCS loss. LETS GO FOR THREE/BEST OF LUCK TO LOBMAN IN THE UPCOMING SEASON!

 

 

KEY ADDITIONS!:  SP Jake Arrieta MAYBE, CF Andrew McCutchen2B Jason Kipnis, RP Brad Boxberger, RP Zach Britton MAYBE EVENTUALLY, SP Kevin Gausman forreal this time lolz, SP Carlos Rodon ditto for this guy lolz.

 

KEY SUBTRACTIONS!:  RP Wade Davis, RP Archie Bradley, RP Craig Kimbrel ALL THE RPs, 1B Chris Davis, SP Ervin Santana MAYBE if he throws another 4 CGs or whatever (I do not expect this to happen), 

 

 

 

 

Image result for giancarlo stanton yankeesTHE HITTERS!:  These fucking bridesmaids. I kid I kid. Let’s talk about these Bad Dudes Bat Dudes a bit.  The Dudes seem to just shuffle chairs around the stars and that seems to be the case once again, with Bryce Harper Giancarlo Stanton and Manny Machado THE BIG THREE all back obviously. These guys are all good obviously. Also rather good is a man that somehow mustered 43 2Bs SIX TRIPLES and 33 HRs last season and that man is Jose Abreu. Somehow that season snuck by me last year but that is a fucking beaut. Beyond that you’ve got Wilson Contreras as a guy that isn’t Gary Sanchez but is pretty damn good (top 3 we shall say), AJ Pollock as a guy that should be fine humidor be damned cuz he was never going to hit 20 HRs again anyways, Yoenis Cespedes as a potential monster if he can avoid lame injuries, Nomar Mazara looking to take the next step forward as a soon-to-be 23 year-old that knocked in 101 RBIs last season, etc. etc. etc. PLENTY OF BATS TO GO AROUND. Also Rougned Odor who sucks but will probably be fine for our league’s purposes if you can stomach potentially hideous OBP, and Jason Kipnis as an aging poorly/injury-prone question mark that also has hit like six dongs in spring training. HOORAY SPRING TRAINING DONGS. ON TO THE HR REPORT:  NINE projected for 20+, as well as Contreras projected for 19, and 5 of those 9 projected for 30+ (with Stanton projected for freaking 52). Power should be fine here. PERHAPS a smidge top-heavy on O overall but the RCBD bats can compete with any lineup.

 

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The Babadook’s Five Best Bats

1-  Bryce Harper

2-  Giancarlo Stanton

3-  Manny Machado

4-  Jose Abreu

5-  Yoenis Cespedes

 

 

 

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THE PITCHERS!:  These fucking “Second Place Is The First Loser” No Fear T-shirts. I kid I kid. Let’s talk about the Bad Dudes Ball Throwers a bit. SORTA an underwhelming starting staff as I would call it, lead by Carlos Carrasco fresh off his best season to date. I have loved Carlos Carrasco since he was a Clearwater Thresher in my old MLB The Show Phillies franchise TRUE STORY. So yea I love Carlos, surprised I haven’t tried to trade for him yet. After Carlos I declare a bit of a dropoff, as one guy I have NOT ever loved is Marcus Stroman. Should deliver some innings and some QS but meh, but he also may be the second best pitcher on the staff. Sonny Gray is also here as he looks to settle in to a full season as a Yank, if The Kraken can block The Curveballs he could have a nice little season. And Jake Arrieta arrives in Philly, a man shunned in free agency, but at least he showed up before June. Also there’s a bunch of other FRINGE arms (Kevin Gausman, Carlos Rodon, Sean Manaea) that need to show me more or need to not be injured before I waste too much space on them. Also there is Danny Salazar whom the Indians need to go ahead and just turn into Chad Green type already.

As for the Bad Dudes bullpen, changes afoot. SHIPPED OUT were some dudes (Wade Davis, Archie Bradley, Jimmy Sherfy) and BROUGHT IN were some other dudes that might be able to mostly match the performances of those three (Brandon Morrow, Mark Melancon, Joe Jimenez). OH YEA and they still have Craig Kimbrel there, he’s probably the second best closer in all the land which is a sad thing to admit ‘cuz SAWKS Never mind now they have Brad Boxberger, he’s like 3 blown saves from being replaced by Hirano. Now they also have Blake Treinen as Kimbrel replacement *sad trombone*.  The Bad Dudes also have the ghost of Zach Britton rattling his chains around their DL slots, what he’s got when he comes back is anyone’s guess though. He used to be lovely.

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The Babadook’s Five Best On The Bump

1-  Craig Kimbrel Carlos Carrasco

2-  Marcus Stroman

3-  Sonny Gray

4-  Jake Arrieta

5-  Danny Salazar

 

 

 

THE PREDICTION!:  8-8-2, 5th place. I expect much o’ the sameeeeee from the Bad Dudes this year, inconsistency and tinkering all season long resulting in an underwhelming playoff berth. And those meeting the Bad Dudes there would be wise to no take them lightly, they’ve marched through all the rounds before they can march through all the rounds again.

THE COMMISH’S PREDISH! (Odom’s Prediction):  11-7, 3rd place.  

2018 10 TEAMS IN 10 DAYS: #2 RIVER CITY BAD DUDES

2018 10 TEAMS IN 10 DAYS: #3 BELLCREST PARK BABADOOKS

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https://www.myinstants.com/instant/babadook/#.WrHaMH4J948.link

 

 

2017 RECORD:  11-3-4 (a RECORD for the 18 game season with an impressive .722 win percentage)(also 9th all time, I went back and checked)

 

 

KNOW YOUR OWNER/KNOW YOUR TEAM!:  SEAN!  Sean is a great guy I think we can all agree upon that. As for the newly-minted Babadooks, their MooniniteZ predecessors rode a 6-0-2 midseason stretch (5 straight Ws) to the #1 seed heading into last year’s playoffs before losing a Sunday heartbreaker in Round 2. So that is the recap, SO IT WAS ALL FOR NOTHING. This year the team is taking on a darker edge so it can get away with cutting underperforming “stars” if they threaten to cost them a playoff win, is what is happening here. So yea. BEST OF LUCK TO ME IN THE UPCOMING SEASON!

 

KEY ADDITIONS!:  1B/LF Cody Bellinger, LF/1B Rhys Hoskins,  SS Elvis Andrus, SP Aaron Nola, RP Aroldis Chapman, 3B Kyle Seager, SP Michael Wacha, SP Mike Clevinger, RP Ryan Madson, RP Kazuhisa Makita, SP Tim Lincecum, 2B Scott Kingery 😉 , Full Season Version of CF Lewis Brinson, I also hope 2B Jonathan Villar gives me SOMETHING.

 

 

KEY SUBTRACTIONS!:   THEIR VERY IDENTITY IN TWO DISTINCT WAYS (The MooniniteZ name and Nolan Arenado), CF Andrew McCutchen, SP James Paxton, CF Ronald Acuna mehhh, RP Raisel Iglesias, Pretty much anyone from my Key Additions section last year (except Keon, fuck you Keon).

 

 

 

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THE HITTERS!:  Nolan Arenado is gone….let’s get that out of the way right in front here. GONE AND NOT COMING BACK. He never won me anything. ANYWHO, in his place are Cody Bellinger and Rhys Hoskins (AND SCOTT KINGERY) and the Babadooks are confident in all three of these youngsters; ironically enough Bellinger is the youngest of the bunch at 22 years 8 months old, HE IS REALLY GOOD AND REALLY YOUNG nobody cares about the World Series that’s SSS. The two Phils are also expected to produce in BCP, and Joey Votto is still here and still an OBP god. The Bababats also boast fantasy baseball’s best catcher (Gary Sanchez), an ageless HEART OF THE TEAM (Edwin Encarnacion) and a hopefully forreal Justin Smoak. Also a hopefully more 2016 than 2017 Jonathan Villar. Also they recently added last year’s top SS (by league “player rater”) in Elvis Andrus and are eager to see how many HRs he can muster in 2018. SPEAKING OF HRs, ESPN’s HR projections as follows:  NINE projected for 20+, but 6 of 9 are projected for 30+ (Bellinger, Votto, EE, Sanchez, Rhys, Smoak) including one projected for 41 (young Cody B). Last year’s incarnation ended up third in HRs and we think we can do better is all I am sayin’, so we traded one slugger for two (and a half).

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The Babadook’s Five Best Bats

1-  Joey Votto

2-  Cody Bellinger

3-  Gary Sanchez

4-  Edwin Encarnacion

5-  Rhys Hoskins

 

 

 

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THE PITCHERS!:  More things change, more they stay the same as the Babadooks once again set their sights on all the Ks and not enough of the QS. EXCEPT WITH Aaron Nola, key piece in the deal I made where I traded that prospect guy for some guys. Nola was brought in with hopes of having a guy that actually pitches deep into games/pitches all season, given the severe injury concerns (yet also SEVERE TALENT) with other arms in the starting staff (Lance McCullers Jr., Alex Wood, Garrett Richards). If healthy these three will produce though, they certainly meet team requirements of 8+ K/9 for SPs (if they have to do it by only throwing 4.2 IP so be it). A guy that might actually be BETTER than those injury risk fuckers is Zack Godley, 2017 breakout projected by ESPN/other folks to have a helluva 2018 just look for yourselves. Also I am lying to you all Nola is just as much of an injury risk as anyone. ANYWHO, the Babadooks have also increased starting depth (at least for now) in an attempt to decrease terrible streaming, adding promising 27 year-old Mike Clevinger and perhaps still promising/somehow younger than Clevinger but also maybe not that promising anymore Michael Wacha in two separate December deals. The Babadooks are prepared to see what they have there. The Babadooks also hope for a healthy return for Jimmy Nelson around June-ish or July-ish.

In the Bababullpen, the Babadooks sit pretty with the league’s best lookin’ bullpen (on paper, also on computer and phone and tablet, IMHO). Kenley Jansen best closer in all the land NO DEBATE, Aroldis Chapman could have staked claim to that title in years past and still has the goods despite a hiccup last August, Felipe Rivero sexayyyy young closer that should hopefully get the goddamned respect he deserves with another sexay year, and Ryan Madson as boring as they come but unarguably one of the better Holds options out there in his own boring way. The Babadooks also hope Tim Lincecum thrives as a reliever and stays on the squad all season long. OH YEA, the Babadooks also roster the Asian guy that throws like 60 mph…. he shall be kept for his 50 HM innings and PERHAPS MORE if he grabs a late-inning role out there in SD (and PERHAPS LESS if he doesn’t).

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The Babadook’s Five Best On The Bump

1-  Kenley Jansen

2-  Aaron Nola

3-  Aroldis Chapman

4-  Alex Wood

5-  Lance McCullers Jr.

 

 

THE PREDICTION!:  10-6-2, 2nd place.  I don’t even WANT second place per se but kinda feel like I will end up in 2nd place. Once again IN THE REGULAR SEASON as I once again fully expect to win the championship. Just have to win a playoff matchup first but CONFIDENCE IS KEY.

THE COMMISH’S PREDISH! (Odom’s Prediction):  11-6-1, 2nd place.  

2018 10 TEAMS IN 10 DAYS: #3 BELLCREST PARK BABADOOKS