2017 RECORD:  5-12-1



KNOW YOUR OWNER/KNOW YOUR TEAM!:  RYAN! I had declared this owner as having hit rock bottom with a .350 win percentage in 2017, and he went out and proved me wrong with a .306 in 2017. No doubt the squad turned its eyes to 2018 towards the end there, likely costing a game or two, but it was the LAPSES in managerial CONCENTRATION that cost a few games earlier in the season that put that team in that particular position. So that is both a note about the owner and a note about the team all in one. Note I am being vague about the team name cuz it changed a few times, but now Ryan is back and the team has been christened the Garden State Warriors and they’re once again in position to try and Pitch First to the Playoffs. And uhhh, one interesting thing about this particular owner is that he is my brother. So THAT. Is a fun little piece of trivia I guess. BEST OF LUCK TO RYAN IN THE UPCOMING SEASON!



KEY ADDITIONS!:  CF Andrew McCutchen RP Craig Kimbrel ALL OF A SUDDEN, 1B Wil Myers ALL OF A SUDDEN, RP Sean Doolittle ALL OF A SUDDEN, SS Gleyber Torres ALL OF A SUDDEN, RP Carl Edwards Jr., RF Jesse Winker, SP Noah Syndergaard (if he gives them more than the 29.1 IP he gave them last year that is, and WHILE ON THIS SUBJECT….), SP James Paxton (if healthy), SP David Price (if healthy), 1B Ryan McMahon (if Rox starting 1B).



KEY SUBTRACTIONS!:  3B Kyle Seager, SP Michael Wacha, CF Andrew McCutchen ALL OF A SUDDEN, SP Carlos Rodon ALL OF A SUDDEN, C Buster Posey ALL OF A SUDDEN, SP Chris Sale ALL OF A SUDDEN, SS Tim Beckham, some dignity for rostering Tim Tebow on the ESPN roster ever so briefly.




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THE HITTERS!:  The Warriors return the core of their lineup, lead by two phenomenal shortstops (Carlos Correa, Francisco Lindor) and Anthony Rendon. And they have a new shiny infield piece that may finally take hold in 2018, as Yoan Moncada seems poised to get a full season’s worth of ABs and may very well shine with said ABs. And the Warriors may just need it, as Miguel Sano is reportedly fat and may very well face a suspension for being rape-y, Ryan Braun is aging in a crowded OF situation, etc. etc. etc. A nicely orchestrated trade for new Giant Andrew McCutchen in the offseason, back when he was a Buc, and a potential starting gig at Coors for High Minors 1B Ryan McMahon could also help weather some storms. Since now I feel like I’m resigned to noting it, DONGS ARE LIFE and all, the Warriors are projected for TEN 20+ HR hitters but only one 30+ (aforementioned Sano). OH YEAH there’s also Byron Buxton and Christian Yelich, those guys are both like top 20 OFs these days so yanno……they could help too. (I am trying to be less wordy in these things but I am sure I will lose the battle later on in the series, writing teachers always say it is harder to write short papers than long ones IT IS TRUE)

UPDATE:  They also went out and got Wil Myers, he is good. And Gleyber Torres, he very well may be good.

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The Babadook’s Five Best Bats

1-  Francisco Lindor

2-  Carlos Correa

3-  Anthony Rendon

4-  Christian Yelich

5-  Byron Buxton






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THE PITCHERS!:  The Warriors CALLING CARD, also this team’s calling card for probably its entire existence and all prior names. SO WHY KEEP WRITING NEW SHIT, I’ll just edit what I had last year:

“List your top 5 fantasy SPs and the Punchouts likely have three of them with Clayton Kershaw (1) (5 last year according to ESPN Player Rater [due to injury]), Chris Sale (5) (4 last year), and Noah Syndergaard (3 or 4) (this guy got hurt, will see what he’s got this year but if healthy he’s a Cy Young candidate. Not too far below these three is Stephen Strasburg, a pitcher good enough to be in that top 5 if he can for once in his fucking life avoid injury for a full season.”

Alright enough of this, Stras actually managed like 175 innings last year and ended up rated 8th is the point. The Warriors still didn’t feel this was quite enough so they surrendered top talent to get top talent and acquired Yu Darvish, now with the Cubs. OH and they also finally pried James Paxton from my cold dead hands, he’s usually an SP1 for like 100 innings a season with the other innings lost to injury or ineffective due to returning from injury. But yea HE IS VERY GOOD, and he’s only like the 6th best starter on this team. FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES they added David Price this offseason, add him to the list of potential aces for the GSW if they can avoid the injury bug. KINDA THE ENTIRE PROBLEM WITH PITCHERS, but you can’t fault the Warriors for facing that problem head on by rostering a bunch of really really good pitchers. They also have Dylan Bundy for further shits and giggles. The rotation is very good is the point, I am almost annoyed to be reviewing it.

As for the pen, lets go to what I said last year once again:

“Bullpen-wise, this bullpen offends me eeeeeeven more than the 3EF bullpen, as it comprises only two individuals right now (surely either some pitching or some outfielders bats will need to be swapped out if the PP want to compete in relief categories). David Robertson Brad Hand is a solid closer that will deliver good Ks and will save some games, albeit for the Padres so HOW MANY MAN? Sam Dyson is FAR LESS solid Carl Edwards Jr. is probably an even better reliever but he is currently resigned to holds duty in the Cubs pen. ADDITIONAL ASSEMBLY REQUIRED.  UPDATE:  They heeded my words and did some additional assembly and added Craig Kimbrel and he is the 2nd best closer in fantasy so good job. Also they grabbed Sean Doolittle and health permitting he’s a realllll solid option as the Nats current closer.

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The Babadook’s Five Best On The Bump

1-  Clayton Kershaw

2-  Chris Sale  Stephen Strasburg

3-  Noah Syndergaard

4-  James Paxton

5-  David Price





THE PREDICTION!:  7-10-1, 8th place.  The rotation is possibly the best it has ever been, assuming good health. But that is a bit o’ a big assumption with Kershaw’s back acting up, Paxton being Paxton, Strasburg being Strasburg, and Thor coming back from injury. A good core of hitters as well, but UNTIL I see this owner stop losing early season matchups by failing to start 12 or some other fuckery I am forced to figure they’ll drop a few games they shouldn’t have and drop out of the playoff race a tad early as a result of it. Prove me wrong, Warriors.

THE COMMISH’S PREDISH! (Odom’s Prediction):  7-11, 8th place.



Foreword:  The 10 Teams in 10 Days Series is meant to directly rip off whatever 30 teams in 30 days shit the MLB Network does, which was then ripped off by Mikey T for some sort of weird topics of discussion chat series last year, which is now being ripped off by me FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE to give a little team preview for all of 2018’s Backyard participants. NOT A POWER RANKINGS of any kind (we will do the first one of those once we hit April), this is just me discussing each team’s roster as we prepare for the second year of dynasty play (NOW WITH EVEN MORE MINOR LEAGUERS). Teams will be previewed in reverse order of the “final standings,” tweaked because the ESPN version is stupid and doesn’t view the rightful last place team as the last place team. I know last year I kept with the ESPN version but that was only cuz it was fun to have the ‘Topes in last. No longer will this blog be about fun. Anywho, ON TO THE FIRST REVIEW….






2017 RECORD:  3-14-1



KNOW YOUR OWNER/KNOW YOUR TEAM!:  SHANE! Is the owner of this particular team. One year into his Backyard tenure and nobody can accuse Shane of being an absentee owner, which is really what he was brought in to correct. NO LONGER do we have a few owners that disappear and don’t respond to trade offers, for this guy responds to trade offers TO A FAULT. And probably sends offers of his own to a fault. All of which contributed to a bit of a rocky start as Shane attempted to mold this team into his own image, or something. Or maybe just into a team of players that felt more his. Adoption is hard. Anywho, love the trades or hate the trades you have to give him credit for being out there in the market and competing to the bitter end of a bitter 2017 season. HERE’S TO “NOWHERE TO GO BUT UP” for the Q-Tip City Morning Wood. And uhh, as for Shane, I dunno he still has all those kids I think. I don’t know why I ever started these “Know Your Owner” sections I don’t really want to talk about any of you fucks….. BEST OF LUCK TO SHANE IN THE UPCOMING SEASON!



KEY ADDITIONS!:  CF/LF Starling Marte, 3B Evan Longoria, 2B Daniel Murphy, 1B/LF Eric Thames, CF Lorenzo Cain, RP Cody Allen, CF Adam Eaton



KEY SUBTRACTIONS!:  3B Vlad Guerrero Jr. E-FUCKING-VENTUALLY I am sure, 2B Whit Merrifield, 2B Cesar Hernandez, 1B Logan Morrison, LF Corey Dickerson




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THE HITTERS!:  Well they went out and got JD Martinez (43 projected HRs, all projections are ESPN’s DEAL WITH IT) and can’t fault a guy there. They ALSO sneakily added some sneaky good players in Adam Eaton and Lorenzo Cain. But we were talking about JD, BACK TO JD. JD is set to star in a lineup that only boasts one other 30+ projected HR hitter (Justin Upton, 32) but an IMPRESSIVE six additional sluggers slated to slug 20+ (Longo, Murphy, Didi, Duvall, Thames, Ian Happ is projected to hit 29 by ESPN which feels insane but yea) with a few other folks in the upper teens. HRs aren’t everything kids (see the 2017 champions) but they are everything I am going to talk about in this little review. Maybe this is just a function of ESPN trying to account for this juiced ball shenanigans, maybe this lineup really will have some bite to it this year, maybe I am not too sure because this is the first preview I am writing and haven’t really compared to anyone else yet. Nevertheless, I say don’t sleep on the Morning Wood offense in Year 2.

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The Babadook’s Five Best Bats

1-  JD Martinez

2-  Justin Upton

3-  Daniel Murphy

4-  Brandon Belt

5-  Starling Marte






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THE PITCHERS!:  NO BUMGARNER. They do not have Bumgarner. Long time readers may remember me pointing out last year that they didn’t have Thor anymore but did at least have Bumgarner but now they have NEITHER. So that isn’t ideal. What they do have now is Zack Greinke, whom is very good once again. And also Carlos Martinez, whom is good. Those three will anchor a staff of starters that is also hoping for some gains out of some young guys (Jacob Faria, Luke Weaver) and just might get those gains.

In le pen, le matin érection picked up Cody Allen in an uncharacteristically excellent trade and he is instantly their best reliever. Also got two solid closers in Alex Colome and Arodys Vizcaino that feel damn near indistinguishable from each other. Neither are guaranteed to hold onto their jobs or teams but while they’re in those roles they’ll be solid. Also have one of my favorite High Minors relievers in Jimmieeee Sherfyyyyyy, who still has like 40 High Minors innings to deliver some value and who fucking knows what the Diamondbacks are doing with that pen….. but yea he could be rather solid I like em let’s move on.

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The Babadook’s Five Best On The Bump

1-  Zack Greinke

2-  Carlos Martinez

3-  Arodyz Vizcaino

4-  Cody Allen

5-  Alex Colome cuz the Babadook says fuck Trevor Bauer.




THE PREDICTION!:  6-10-2, 10th place.  I don’t necessarily see any light at the end of this particular tunnel AT THIS PARTICULAR TIME, but also there’s some pieces here despite the trade frenzies so nobody should take the Morning Wood toooo lightly. They’ve already made some nice moves in spring training. And yanno every season is an opportunity to not give away whatever good players you may have left, grab some youth, hope to scoop up a waiver wire breakout or two, etc. etc. etc. DO THAT BONERZ.

THE COMMISH’S PREDISH! (Odom’s Prediction):  6-11-1, 9th place.  



Where will last year’s X*Rayz rank (asterisk and all)?  I WILL DECIDE AND ONLY ME


Consider this a bit of a Troll For Champions, as I’m sure everyone feels like their team was the best championship team OF ALL TIME and mostly everyone there is wrong. It is also a bit of a troll because I am doing VERY LITTLE research here. So finally, as a labor of love, and since we finally have 10 league champions, I will rank them all. The last troll article had some rules let’s get some more rules in here.

The Rules:

  • FIRST RULE, is more of a statement and that statement is I don’t have access to any league pages before like 2013. So really I am the worst possible person to compile a top ten. HERE IT IS ANYWAYS.
  • Previous season result MATTERS, in the obvious ways you will expect it to matter. aka teams that win multiple years in a row should obviously be PRAISED BY ALL.
  • Regular season stats matter A BIT, particularly since I only have that to go off of for a couple of seasons. 
  • But playoff run also matters, particularly since I only happen to know the playoff runs for a couple of seasons. Alright let’s get to it, I don’t even think I needed to list rules but I copy and pasted the top from last time for some reason ANYWAYS HERE WE GO…








2017 – POINT LOMA X*RAYZ:   10-6-2


Notable Performers:  Jose Ramirez, Dee Gordon, Billy Hamilton, Elvis Andrus, Daniel Murphy, Chris Archer, Robbie Ray, Jeff Samardzija, Edwin Diaz, Dellin Betances


Why They’re Number Ten:  BECAUSE THEIR BCS #NimmoGate CONTROVERSY NEARLY RUINED US ALL. I love this particular roster and was a big fan of their playoff run, but lets face it the BCS uhhh “incident” was a bit o’ a shitshow. And since that shitshow was mostly due to a terrible rule established by this team’s OWN OWNER that kinda seals their fate as the number ten here. Which doesn’t at all take away from the fact that Odom has taken home the chip (or co-taken co-home) in 4 of 7 seasons in the league which is plenty fucking impressive. And I thank him for Rhys Hoskins in a roundabout way (assuming Rhys works out).





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Notable Performers:  Mike Napoli, Elvis Andrus, Michael Young, Carlos Gonzalez (half the season), Hanley Ramirez (the other half), Joe Mauer (the other half but also always hurt), CC Sabathia (half the season), Cole Hamels (the other half), an erratic Ubaldo Jimenez, David Robertson

(special thanks to Odom for helping me remember some guys)


Why They’re Number Nine:  REGULAR SEASON RECORD is what does this team no favors. Despite a fan favorite name and an impressive championship in their eventual inaugural season as owners, the facts are the facts and the facts are this is the only team to ever win a championship with a sub-.500 regular season record. I am also going to claim this team INVENTED THE BLOCKBUSTER, because this thing is full of wild claims without sources. A midseason deal sent That record CC and CarGo to the WVU Bombers or whatfuckingever for Mauer, Hanley Ramirez, and Cole Hamels and those three would be staples on the team for YEARS TO COME. Mauer would go on to homer in a first round matchup against WVU which was amusing because he hit all of 3 HRs that season. But YEA THE RECORD, the record gave the doubters plenty of fuel with which to doubt. DOUBT THAT WOULD PROVE FOOLISH. clearly it was a star, t from humble beginnings for the Odom/Sean dynasty to be.





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2009 – SCARLET KNIGHTS:   15-7


Notable Performers:  JASON BAY, Brian Wilson ALLEGEDLY for the latter half, Miguel Cabrera, Prince Fielder, Robinson Cano, Jorge Posada, Travis Hafner maybe?, Vernon Wells maybe?, Miguel Tejada maybe?, Dustin Pedroia for part of the season? Some other closers? I dunno how the fuck should I know…


Why They’re Number Eight:  PRE-COMPETITIVE ERA. Because while a 15-7 record is nothing to sneeze at, they played in the pre-competitive era free of minor league systems and excessive numbers of keepers and so on and so forth. Also their BCS victory came at the hands of a notable idiot with a 12-10 record, unlike the next 15-7 team on the list that defeated a fellow 15-7er to capture a crown. FUN FACT: I won the fantasy football championship this season thanks to a one CJ2K. So that is a fun fact.




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2010 – TOMS RIVER TAKEOVER:   15-7


Notable Performers:  CLAYTON KERSHAW I AM SURE, Roy Halladay and his NINE CGs I am sure, Justin Upton, Jon Lester, Juan Pierre?, injury-hampered Justin Morneau? injury-hampered J-ROLLLLLLLL, Dan Uggla?, Tim Hudson?, hopefully kept Kelly Johnson through the tough times cuz 2010 was his masterpiece?


Why They’re Number Seven:  SUPERIOR BCS MATCHUP. AGAIN this comes in the era of a bunch of shitty owners shitting around, BUT this particular 15-7 squad edges the previous due to a seemingly more challenging BCS matchup. No idea who really made up this roster (heavy speculation based on ’08 draft above), but I DO see they dropped a ridiculous 81 RBIs (still the all-time record) and 70 Runs on their poor Week 16 opponent. So I suspect they had some strong offensive players. Feel pretty confident in this guess.





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Notable Performers:  Mike Trout, Kris Bryant, Anthony Rizzo, Mookie Betts, Todd Frazier, Trea Turner, Ian Desmond, Corey Seager, Jose Fernandez, Francisco Rodriguez


Why They’re Number SIX:  GENERAL ROSTER TALENT. This team had done such an excellent job of SQUANDERING their elite talent for years that I campaigned a few times for them to change their name to the LessWithMores, but in 2016 they finally got it done. They entered the playoffs as the #4 seed and advanced out of the first round via a tie with the #5 seed but BY GOD, they still got it done. Mostly unimpressive playoff performance aside. They got it done. Good for them. I rank them this highly simply because they got it done in THE COMPETITIVE ERA and also because their roster was good enough to likely beat pretty much any other team on this list (provided they weren’t MISMANAGED INTO THE GROUND).








Notable Performers:  Anthony Rizzo, Jose Abreu, Manny Machado, Bryce Harper, Chris Davis, Jose Bautista, Jon Lester, Garrett Richards, Jacob DeGrom, Zach Britton


Why They’re Number Five:  POSTSEASON DOMINANCE. The interesting thing to ME here is I’ve been able to look at a few “roster summaries” here and this one appears to be one of the more unimpressive ones stats-wise (pitching especially) AND YET can’t deny this postseason performance. Not only did the Cuban Missiles grab the #1 seed, but they won their two playoff matchups by a combined score of 23-3-2. I dunno that feels like it may be some kind of record. The Missiles defeated team rmac 11-1-2 in the second round and the fresh on the scene Barnegat Banana Slugs 12-2 in the BCS, effectively steamrolling the competition in a way that needs to be acknowledged here. And it has been acknowledged. So now lets move on.







2008 – RIVER CITY MASHERS:   19-3


Notable Performers:  I mean NO IDEA one might think, because I am blocked from accessing these old rosters. BUT, I can piece together the probable notable performers from a recap of the league’s first draft and so here they are – Jose Reyes, Carlos Beltran, David Wright ‘scuseeee me, Mark Teixeira, Adam Dunn, Jhonny Peralta, Raul Ibanez, Roy Oswalt, Brad Lidge


Why They’re Number Four:  HELLUVA RECORD. Truthfully this team may have earned the right to be higher (NOT MUCH HIGHER) but I just wasn’t involved back then and I just do not know what to tell you. But yea, 19-3 is a nice fucking record and a little league history blurb from the blog tells me they whomped Cliff in the BCS (11-2-1) after narrowly edging out Ryan’s “Tar Heels” in the second round (7-6-1 on a .3812 to .3810 OBP advantage) and good on them. Looks like a damn fine year. Way to go Mashers.




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2012 – TAMPA BAY TWO-TIME TWO-TIME (strange name):   11-9


Notable Performers:  FUCKING AARON HILL (everybody look up Aaron Hill’s 2012 please, he had two cycles that year, thank you), Edwin Encarnacion, Hanley Ramirez, Joe Mauer, Nick Swisher, Cole Hamels, an erratic Tim Lincecum, Craig Kimbrel, Kenley Jansen,David Robertson


Why They’re Number Three:  BECAUSE WE WENT BACK TO FUCKING BACK. Has yet to be repeated, is a very tough thing to do I believe time has told. Our second championship team merely flipped the record from our first championship team (from 9-11 to 11-9) but put together a solid postseason run and grabbed their second in a row AND THAT IS IMPRESSIVE. Allllll the years previous and alllll the years since that hasn’t been done (not counting our third in a row), so that needs to be rewarded with this particular ranking.





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2014 – PINE LAKE SWINGMEN:   16-3-1


Notable Performers:  Carlos Gomez, Paul Goldschmidt, Justin Upton, Adrian Gonzalez, Anthony Rendon,  Dee Gordon, Clayton Kershaw, Felix Hernandez, Sonny Gray, Greg Holland (team was fucking stacked though I should more or less list the whole offense)


Why They’re Number Two:  This team impressed the shit outta me because of their SUB 100 MOVE SEASON. Also the team was stacked and set multiple season records including Runs, HRs, and Strikeouts (Ks being an all time record to this very day). But back to the moves, maybe this wasn’t always the case but in the modern era here movement is life; all serious competitors routinely hit triple digits with their moves in-season. The Pine Lake Swingmen of 2014 only needed 98 moves to grab the #2 seed in the regular season (13-6 record, 3Peat Offendaz #1 at 14-7) and then march through the playoffs on the way to Ryan’s 2nd championship in five seasons. OF COURSE one will never know what might have happened if this team ran into the 3Peat Offendaz in the championship, as the 3PO lost to a 4 seed of questionable character in a strangely lazy 2nd round performance. The 3PO would have beat the #3 seed though, I think we all know that. ANYWAYS REALLY IMPRESSIVE YEAR BY THE 2014 PINE LAKE SWINGMEN, very nearly the most impressive of all time.






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2013 – TOMS RIVER 3PEAT OFFENDAZ (clearly named post-parade):   16-3-1


Notable Performers:  Edwin Encarnacion, Josh Donaldson, Hanley Ramirez, Brett Gardner, Matt Carpenter, Cole Hamels, Anibal Sanchez, Mariano Rivera, Craig Kimbrel, Aroldis Chapman


Why They’re Number One:  SEEMS PRETTY CLEAR TO ME. This is the first and probably the last 3peat team this league ever saw, it started off 2-3 before winning a remarkable 14 in a row, it defeated a 16-4 #2 seed Angels in the TROUTfield via a TIE in the BCS (also defeated the TROUTfield in both regular season meetings). In case there is strangely still any doubts about this as your top team o all time, they defeated the River City Mashers in the 2nd round THIRTEEN-ZERO-ONE. I could write a thousand words about this particular season but trying this new brevity thing.





So there you have it folks, no real surprise about the particular TEAM in the top spot but….

HAHA TOOK THAT STRAIGHT FROM THE LAST TROLL SERIES POST. But yea, shouldn’t be a surprise. Feel free to try and educate me about the teams from the years of softer competition because I am sure that would be a fun and educational GroupMe conversation for the league but yea. Really this whole thing was written just to point out how impressive that 3peat season was/how impressive that 98 move season of Ryan’s was. Mission. Accomplished.



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2018 Troll Series: Volume 1…..well maybe the only volume

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The 2017 Troll Series happened and it was a beautiful thing and posts were written about just about every team in the league BUT, now it is 2018 and I don’t want that many troll posts.  So the challenge became, how does one devise a troll post that covers every gotdamned team in the league all it once. And the answer was simple:  TROLL WITH TRUTH. These days the harshest league-wide judgment is reserved for declaring a winner of each and every fucking trade that goes through the league office, no matter how insignificant it may be. So in keeping with that theme, I now present to you TOP TEN WORST TRADES OF 2017. Albeit with some rules so each team gets properly roasted.

The Rules:

  • I will be picking each team’s worst individual trade and then ranking those trades from least terrible to most terrible. Ergo every team shall have their worst trade in my humble and correct opinion broadcasted here (as well as some of their dishonorable mentions). Otherwise this might just be 10 morning boner trades and who wants to look at that.
  • For the most part I am trying to avoid hindsight. Hindsight may be 20/20 but so is my foresight.
  • For the most part (FOR THE MOST PART) I will try and avoid prospect trades, unless it is something truly egregious. Because prospects don’t do shit until they actually do shit. Sometimes you can disagree with a team’s valuation of their own prospect (i.e. what they gave the guy up for) but STILL that guy could end up going for a drive in the DR or something and never producing for his new club. Although to cite that sort of thing I would be violating the avoiding hindsight rule above. Alright let’s just get to the thing…


BUT BEFORE I DO…… a few potential 2018 Troll Posts that probably never see the light of day cuz I am too lazy to write them:

  • “Why Trevor Story Is Probably Still Overrated”
  • “Preaching How Unbiased You Are Because You Won’t Call An Insane Presidency Insane Doesn’t Make You Advanced, Also Maitan Is A Bust”
  • “Adam Duvall And Jay Bruce Are Basically The Same Person, Both Are Shittier Than Scott Schebler”
  • “It Is Truly Impressive To Roster 2017 Charlie Blackmon and 2017 Aaron Judge And Only Manage A 6 Seed (Barely)”
  • “Shane Shouldn’t Be Allowed To Trade Without League Approval”
  • “Why The 1990-1993 Buffalo Bills Are A Better Team Than The Bad Dudes”

etc. etc. etc.  Okay now onto the “bad trades” “list”:




The Trade:  

T traded Cody Bellinger, LAD 1B to MOON
T traded Scott Kingery, Phi 2B to MOON
T traded Rhys Hoskins, Phi 1B to MOON
MOON traded Nolan Arenado, Col 3B to T


Isotopes Dishonorable Mention:  Trading Kimbrel for Gleyber, that felt like a prospect overpay (my prospect rule doesn’t necessarily extend to Dishonorable Mention, also I am sure I am going to break it any moment now). 



The Trade: 

RRF traded J.T. Realmuto, Mia C to rmac
rmac traded Jackie Bradley Jr., Bos CF to RRF

What Went Wrong:   Rojo gave up the GREAT J.T. Realmuto (our league’s top catcher in 2017 according to ESPN Player Rater) for suckass Jackie Bradley Jr. (24th best CF according to ESPN Player Rater) is WHAT WENT WRONG. I dunno getting the RRF to trade is like fucking pulling teeth it seems.

RRF Dishonorable Mention:  I dunno they traded away Ozzie Albies once, ALBIES IS GREAT NOBODY SHOULD HAVE TRADED HIM.



The Trade:  

RRF traded Matt Kemp, LAD RF to rmac
RRF traded Yu Darvish, FA SP to rmac
rmac traded George Springer, Hou RF to RRF
rmac traded Yasiel Puig, LAD RF to RRF
rmac traded Rafael Devers, Bos 3B to RRF

What Went Wrong:  This is a tough one because the then-Punchouts-now-Warriors DID get top talent back in Yu Darvish, but they may have finally pushed their Pitching First agenda too far on this one. Springer is a stud Puig remains a useful piece and Devers, despite being a filthy Red Sawk, projects to be a well above average fantasy asset as soon as this season. For a team that had plenty of pitching even without Yu, Yu gotta think this was giving up too much.   

Now-named Warriors Dishonorable Mention:  I dunno man their 2017 ledger is pretty clean otherwise.  



The Trade: 

BBS traded Josh Hader, Mil SP to LTBS
LTBS traded Daniel Vogelbach, Sea 1B to BBS

What Went Wrong:   Anddd here it is, PROSPECT TRADE. The rule is meaningless. LORD this one looks bad, kinda makes me want to put it ahead of the next one but the next one was part of that ill-received championship offense teardown so let’s leave that there.  But EW.  We all know how Lobman’s Shark saga went.  He had to sit there and watch him be terrible for most of the goddamned year before finally (mercifully) giving up on him prior to the playoffs, which lead to unethical PTBNL deals and un-saavy deals for Tyson Ross and hey what do yanno I am basically summarizing this whole goddamned list.  Chris Archer went on to be really really good for Odom (cuz Ryan traded him for Strasburg, FAR MORE DEFENSIBLE) in 2015, before being more like just okay last year, but this year he will probably be good again next year.  Carlos Rodon will maybe be really really good any day now or maybe he will just be like Francisco Liriano, but in any case those two good to great pitchers for that one awful Shark year that did not work out one bit.

Slugs Dishonorable Mention:  Trading Antonio Senzatela for Dominic Smith was a bad trade because I was forced to mention it on this website. 



The Trade: 

LTBS traded A.J. Pollock, Ari CF to SAD!
SAD! traded Eduardo Nunez, FA SS to LTBS
SAD! traded Kevin Maitan, Atl SS to LTBS

What Went Wrong:   Poor AJ Pollock always getting tossed around this league, but yea TOO MUCH PROSPECT HUMPING for Doch in his first year of business. Maitan has already lost his luster and Nunez is Nunez, I don’t blame team SAD! for making this one 100 times out of 100.  FUN FACT:  SAD! also traded Ronald Acuna to acquire Nunez. SAD!

(Edit:  Apparently Doch got a draft pick in this trade and thinks I give a shit. While I WILL enjoy the player he acquired with said draft pick, I don’t give a shit about draft picks and everybody knows that. For all I know he could have used it on Mike fucking Zunino or something.)

BackdoorSliderz Dishonorable Mention:  The haul given up to get Acuna is probably a weeee bit of an overpay, especially because ONCE AGAIN Fernando Tatis Jr.  is going to the be the top prospect next year. Gimme the SS over the OF any day, “generational talent” OF be damned.  



The Trade:  

T traded Matt Moore, Tex SP to XYZ
T traded Tyler Naquin, Cle CF to XYZ
XYZ traded Khris Davis, Oak LF to T

What Went Wrong:   The X*Rayz are always fast and furious traders and with that you are gonna have a few missteps, I certainly believe they “win” more than they “lose” with these things. HOWEVER Moore kinda sucks and Naquin kinda sucks and Khris Davis kinda just socks dongs year afer year after year.

X*Rayz Dishonorable Mention:  Didn’t love them trading Ozzie Albies (who is great) for fuggin Hernan Perez and Steven Wright (neither are great), didn’t love giving up a stock as high as it will ever be Matt Olson for Jorge Mateo (though I now love Mateo)



The Trade: 

MOON traded Andrew McCutchen, SF CF to rmac
MOON traded James Paxton, Sea SP to rmac
rmac traded Kyle Seager, Sea 3B to MOON
rmac traded Tim Beckham, Bal SS to MOON
rmac traded Michael Wacha, StL RP to MOON

What Went Wrong:   YEESH what was I doing here. I know I was trying to purge everyone that failed me in my playoff matchup so I believe at one point I wanted just to straight up McCutchen for Kyle Seager, and yet somehow I end up accepting a proposal where I just THROW IN James Paxton for fucking Michael Wacha and Tim Beckham. That is a tough one to make sense of.

Babadooks Dishonorable Mention:  Trading Victor Robles (and Roman Quinn) for Keon Broxton doesn’t look very good right about now, one could also say I’ve given up a few prospects a bit freely but SO WHAT.



The Trade: 

MOON traded Eduardo Nunez, FA SS to SAD!
SAD! traded Ronald Acuna, Atl CF to MOON

What Went Wrong:   HINDSIGHT TRADE. Because rules are meant to be broken. Obviously this one looks more horrible now than it did then but I DID MY RESEARCH and knew what I was getting, the Trout Fishing Club shoulda done theirs.

Fishing Club Dishonorable Mention:  While we are doing hindsight trades they also traded Albies for AJ Reed, also traded Rhys Hoskins as part of a PACKAGE for Joe Jimenez. Also trading Buster Posey for Josh Bell and Clint Frazier doesn’t look great now that the Fishing Club literally don’t have a fucking catcher.



The Trade: 

T traded Trevor Rosenthal, STL RP to RCBD
RCBD traded Freddie Freeman, Atl 1B to LTBS

What Went Wrong:   OH WAS THIS FROM 2016? I DO NOT CARE BECAUSE I AM STILL NOT OVER IT. Because it is from 2016 (and because the Morning Wood are more prolific in their missteps) I will leave this one at #2, but it remains so colossally fucking awful that I want it on a 2017 worst trades list even if it wasn’t actually from 2017. Shame on everyone that stood by and watched it happen.

Bad Dudes Dishonorable Mention:  AS FOR 2017 TRADES, Carlos Martinez Mitch HanigerVlad Guerrero Jr. for Yoenis Cespedes Jharel Cotton feels like it hasn’t aged great. Also he traded Dylan Bundy for Francisco Rodriguez last February and K-Rod is so olddddd and Bundy is (still) full of promise (maybe).



The Trade: 

WOOD traded Noah Syndergaard, NYM SP to rmac
WOOD traded Carson Fulmer, CWS SP to rmac
rmac traded Brandon Belt, SF 1B to WOOD
rmac traded Felix Hernandez, Sea SP to WOOD

What Went Wrong:   AND A FULL PIVOT BACK TO THE “NO HINDSIGHT” RULE. Just to make this “column” if you will as frustrating of a read as possible. Obviously Syndergaard got injured last year and gave rmac little to nothing but AT THE TIME of trade he was coming off a prettttty brilliant 2016 and the Morning wood still parted with him for fucking Brandon Belt and a washed up King Felix. Also 24 hours earlier I offered Joey Votto for Syndergaard and it was declined about 15 minutes before this trade was processed. So yea. But really this isn’t about picking any one QTCMW trade, pick your own personal favorite and put it in here. If it wasn’t for me handing this guy catchers for free and good prospects I don’t know where he would be (in the same spot I guess).

Morning Wood Dishonorable Mention:  God IS THERE A CHARACTER LIMIT FOR DISHONORABLE MENTION? Packing Sano and Lindor (and Harvey but whatever) in a trade was bad, acquiring Robbie Ray from Odom and then trading him BACK to Odom 1.5 months later for Christian Arroyo Jorge Bonifacio Chris Tillman was bad (MY GOD WHAT WAS THIS), trading Whit Merrifield for Starling Marte but inexplicably throwing in Vlad Jr. was bad, Kyle Seager for Carson Fulmer was bad (had already traded away Fulmer above, you see), Gleyber Torres for K-Rod and Frankie Montas I wouldn’t term good, ditto for Brent Honeywell for Ender Inciarte, and at this point maybe I am just being too hard on the ole’ erections but still yea just do a bit better going forward please.



So there you have it folks, no real surprise about the particular TEAM in the top spot but really I want to commend the league. For this troll post was harder to write than I thought it was gonna be, most teams make mostly sound decisions in the trade game (hiccups can happen). LOOKING FORWARD TO TRADING WITH YOU ALL THIS SEASON, if I feel like it, which I may at some point but also may not. You can always trade with Odom at least.




2018 Troll Series: Volume 1…..well maybe the only volume