Week 13 Recap

Dedicated to Tyler Skaggs after his untimely passing.

Week 13 is in the books and we saw one impressive winning streak end to an even more impressive winning streak.  We already have the first seed for the playoffs clinched and we’re not even at the all-star break.  This clinching of the first seed means nothing, because all that matters is just getting into the playoffs, record doesn’t matter once in the playoffs. 

We also saw 2 teams flirt with breaking the Ks record, the HR beaten, and RBI record getting demolished, albeit in a losing effort.  Most of the matchups ended up not being that close except for 2. 

Unfortunately, there are no Jerichos to report this week either.  This is sad news because of the newly found interest in the distinction with the name change which everyone around the league seems to agree is a much better name.

East Coast Kings silence Rojo’s Renegade Force 8-2-4

MVP

Nelson Cruz 5 Runs 2 2Bs, 3 HRs, 10 RBI, .500 OBP

In an interesting strategic decision, Rojo decided it would be best to only make 7 out of 12 starts this week.  Bold strategy Cotton!  The move did not pay off as this matchup wasn’t particularly close, I am sure Rojo had numerous empty lineup spots as well if he only started 7 pitchers this week.  48 Ks might be an all-time low, but I don’t feel like fact checking that.  One must start questioning how long Rojo is going to stick around the Backyard or if he is just too cool for us losers.

R Mac won the battle of the chat mutes with relative ease this week.  He himself only made 11 starts, but that was still 4 more than the other Ryan in the league.  Nelson Cruz had a big week on his way to matchup MVP honors.  I guess I’ll make mention of Rafael Devers’ 7 2Bs this week, because that is impressive whether his GM was paying attention to him or not.

Next week

RRF (6-6-1) v IBB (5-7-1)

ECK (7-6) v RAYS (3-7-3)

Pacific Beach X-Rays bulk their way to victory against Ocean Gate Fishing Club 9-3-2

MVP

Lourdes Gurriel Jr. 7 Runs, 1 2B, 5 HRs, 8 RBI, .462 OBP

Lourdy Lourd, Gurriel had himself a week with his 7 Runs, 5 HRs, and 8 RBI.  He gets the MVP of the matchup despite The X-Rays tying the Ks record this week.  He got a lot of Ks from a lot of guys including like 16 or something from Snell, but his other stats weren’t the most impressive considering he had 1 so-so start out of his 2 this week.  Kevin Newman was another big bat for the Rays chipping in 3 HRs and 7 RBIs.  X-Rays may be tied for last, but do not mistake them for an easy win.  The no light days and bulking philosophy makes this team very dangerous.  They may have suffered from a bit of bad luck this season as well when you look at where they rank on the year in all the categories, but we’ll expand on that more in the July Power Rankings.

Greg’s team is pretty good in their own right.  He got big strike out performances from pitchers Bieber (17 Ks), Cole (13 Ks), and Fried (14 Ks), but unfortunately, he was playing the guy who seems to get 100 Ks every week.  The Fishing Club disappointed on offense this week which is a shame considering some of those guys they have.  They look to bounce back against the Isotopes in the extended Week 14.

Next Week

RAYS (3-7-3) v ECK (7-6)

OGFC (6-6-1) v TOPES (7-6)

Barnegat Banana Slugs out pitch the slugging Bad Dudes 7-6-1


***MVP OF THE WEEK***

Max Scherzer 16 IP, 24 Ks, 2 QS, 2 W, 1.29 ERA

87 RBI for the now last place Bad Dudes.  This shattered the previous RBI record which was established in the BD era, so who really cares about that old record anyway.  His 28 HRs were also an all-time Backyard record.  All this was done with Stanton landing back on the IL.  And you can forget about the 60/60 club, Lobman just established 60/80 club.  Most impressive part about these records is how Lobman still didn’t win the matchup.  He’s still a loser, even with his 62 Runs, 28 HRs, 87 RBI, and .388 OBP.  Lobman only has a few more weeks to trade for some pitching.  He may be sitting in last place currently, but he is by no means out of this playoff race. 

Breaking News.  Mad Max is pretty good.  24 K week is no joke no matter how many starts you have.  He was simply dominant and helped bring the Slugs to 1 K away from tying the all time K record with Odom’s Rays this week.  Trevor Bauer also pitched in 12 Ks over 6.2 innings.  This matchup was a classic pitching vs hitting battle and pitching won.  All the other team had to do was win 1 category on their weak side and the Slugs were able to win doubles.  Luke Voit only hitter of note for the Slugs as he chipped in 5 2Bs.

Next Week

BBS (5-7-1) v LTBS (13-0)

RCBD (3-7-3) v LAKE (5-8)

Island Beach Bears beat Lakehurst Leviathans 7-2-5

MVP
Max Muncy 4 Runs, 1 2B, 3 HRs, 12 RBI, .367 OBP

Well this was an ugly matchup looking at the surface stats, so much so that I really do not want to spend to much time on it.  Bears won the category of ERA for the week with a hideous 5.65 ERA to Shane’s 6.00.  Max Muncy was good, 12 RBI weeks are very impressive.  To the Bears credit, 51 RBIs is pretty good, but .317 OBP is not.  The only teams that both these teams would have beat beside each other was probably the 7 start Renegades.

Next Week

IBB (5-7-1) v RRF (6-6-1)

LAKE (5-8) v RCBD (3-7-3)

***MATCHUP OF THE WEEK REVIEW***

Lacey Township Backdoor Sliderz stay undefeated with Sunday night magic to beat Astoria Isotopes 7-5-2

MVP

Ronald Acuna Jr 11 Runs, 2 2Bs, 2 HRs, 2 RBI, 4 SBs, .469 OBP

The matchup of the week did not fail to deliver.  The rematch from last year’s championship came down to the wire as Dochney was able to lean on the Baby Braves stirring up Sunday night magic in order to capture a victory.  It was Acuna’s home run that solidified the win for the REIGNING, DEFENDING, UNDISPUTED BACKYARD CHAMPION OF THE WOOOOOOOOORLD, SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEAAAAAN DOCHNEY! (imagine Paul Heyman delivering that).  T’s winning streak ended at 7 while Dochney’s streak is now at 18 dating back to last season.  Dochney has clinched the top seed and it’s not even the ASB.

Dochney did everything he could do to lose this matchup by having empty lineup spots on full days with players sitting in their respected MLB lineup.  Missed out on a DeGrom QS because I was sleeping at the wheel and left him on the bench.  But the Sliderz were able to produce just enough while I was on auto pilot.  Pitching was awful for the Backdoor Sliderz.  Seems like they just have not been that sharp over the last few weeks, which is not a good sign going into an 18-start week against the Slugs.

T had a tough loss in this one as he lost a Sunday lead to Dochney’s squad down in Lacey.  T was so emotionally crippled and traumatized from #DochWeek that he had to take off work Monday.  Can anybody get LaMahieu out right now btw?  He was dominant once again with 8 Runs, 3 2Bs, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 10 RBIs, .654 OBP.  Charlie Blackmon is also back folks as he had himself one hell of a week as well (11 Runs, 2 HRs, 7 RBI, .452 OBP). 

Next Week

LTBS (13-0) v BBS (5-7-1)

TOPES (7-6) v OGFC (6-6-1)

A LOOK AHEAD

Next week will be the extended 2-week matchup because of the all-star break.  Each team will be able to start 18 pitchers.  The biggest storyline will be how many starts will Rojo throw out there? 

***Matchup of the week in week 14 East Coast Kings (7-6) vs Pacific Beach X-Rays (3-7-3)***

This is a shocking turn of events as I stated that Dochney will be getting every matchup of the week until his streak ends, but it was decided that R Mac and Odom getting it this week.  Odom is fighting to keep his playoff hopes alive as he goes against a formidable foe in R Mac.  Odom is sitting tied for last, but I do not believe his team is a last place team when looking at his stats compared to the rest of the league.  He may be victim to some bad luck according to the new rating system that means nothing that was just created by Dochney.  This will be expanded upon further in the July Power Rankings

Advertisements
Week 13 Recap

WEEK 12 REVIEW

Week 12 is in the book folks.  There were some tight matchups that went down to the wire.  A few teams stayed hot; one team in particular stayed undefeated.  Five players were added to the ever popular and fan favorite List of Jericho. 

Island Beach Bears are out pitched and lose to the Barnegat Banana Slugs 6-5-2

MVP

Yasiel Puig 5 runs, 2 2Bs, 1 3B, 3 HRs, 7 RBIs, 2 SBs, .393 OBP

These teams are tied for 7th place with each having a record of 4-7-1, only a half game behind Shane’s Leviathans for the 6th and final playoff spot who sit at 5-7.  It was the pitching that led the Slugs to victory as they dominated the pitching categories 5-0-2.  Of course, this means they lost the hitting categories 1-5-1, only winning steals in a close 5-4 battle.

Gary Sanchez continues to mash as he had 3 HRs and 9 RBI on the week and now has 23 home runs on the year for the Bears.  That Yankees lineup going to be fun to watch as they are starting to get healthy.  The Bears pitching continues to struggle on the season, their team ERA was 5.45 this week.  The Bears are ranked 10th in team ERA and QS on the season.  Doesn’t help when Aaron Nola is pitching a gem from the bench on

Yasiel Puig recorded a Jericho on his way to earning the MVP of the matchup.  His 2 steals proved to be the most important of his stats recorded this week.  Steals were the only offensive category that the Slugs narrowly won this week.  It was all they needed though, because the Bears pitching is just not very good.  Strong pitching performances this week from Lance Lynn (15 Ks in 2 starts), Max Scherzer (10 Ks), and Patrick Corbin (8 Ks) for the slugs.  Shout out to Adam Ottavino and his 3 holds for the Slugs who won the holds category 3-2. 

JERICHOs

Puig – BBS

NEXT WEEK

BBS (4-7-1) v RCBD (3-6-3)

IBB (4-7-1) v LAKE (5-7)

Isotopes stay hot by beating off the Bad Dudes 7-6-1

MVP

DJ LeMahieu 10 Runs, 1 3B, 3 HRs, 10 RBIs, 1 SB, .519 OBP

Another closely contested Backyard matchup.  There’s a new DJ taking over the infield in the Bronx.  LaMahieu had himself a damn good week with 10 runs and 10 RBI and OBP over .500.  He also had himself the only triple of the matchup.  He was only a double short of the prestigious Jericho, that every hitter so desires to get every week.  This was the 7th straight victory for the Isotopes who now sit in second place after starting the season 0-5.  Ian Kennedy had 2 saves with SP eligibility. Kennedy is over 30 and a former Yankee, this is the only reason why T knows his name.

The Bad Dudes offense is pretty good.  51 runs and 54 RBIs for the week.  Peter Alonso continues to rake .548 OBP, 7 runs, 8 RBIs, 4 HRs, 3 2Bs. Chapman, Mazara, and Machado all had big weeks on their own.  This offense is just getting Stanton back too, who will find his groove and start crushing home runs soon enough.  Maybe they should think of trading a bat for a pitcher, I know I’d be willing to take Alonso off his hands.  6.25 team ERA for the Bad Dudes this week.  Their best pitcher on the season has been Brandon Woodruff (114 Ks in 94.1 IP, 7 QS, 9 Ws, 4.01 ERA).  Pretty solid year for Woodruff I will admit, but they need some more weapons out there.  Shout out to Alex Reyes sitting at 53 IP in his career.  Alex just left a AAA start with pectoral discomfort this week (cue the San Andreas “ah shit, here we go again” meme).  He has been struggling in the minors this year anyway, but it would sure be nice for that guy to stay healthy.

NEXT WEEK

RCBD (3-6-3) v BBS (4-7-1)

TOPES (7-5) v LTBD (12-0) ***Matchup of the Week***

Ocean Gate Fishing Club dominate the East Coast Kings 10-2-2

***MVP OF THE WEEK***

Mike Trout 7 Runs, 2 2Bs, 3 HRs, 10 RBIs, 1 SB, .559 OBP

It appears Greg doesn’t love R Mac anymore after this week (or whatever Greg’s name was for a couple of those weeks).  This one wasn’t even close.  The Fishing Club’s staff was excellent with 9 QS, 2.42 ERA, 6 Saves, 4 Holds.  Cole Hamels, Gerrit Cole, and Shane Bieber strong weeks, while Castillo racked up 13 Ks in an otherwise mediocre 2 start week.  Trout was just a monster as he shows us why he is the best baseball player on the planet.  Heroy got good performances from other spots on the offense as well.  Alvarez had 3 HR and 8 RBI, while Betts was a 2B away from a Jericho.  Amed Rosario was motivated by my words last week and showed he has a pulse (.458 OBP, 4 runs, 3 2Bs, 2 RBI, 3 SB).  Get your trade offers in while you have a chance folks!

Berrios was impressive in a 2-start week for the Kings 15 IP, 13 Ks, 2 QS.  Christian Yelich is keeping up with his usual insanity and hit another 3 dingers this week bringing his season total 29.  Yeah, he’s pretty good too and in contention for this whole best baseball player on the planet thing (63 Runs, 29 HRs, 63 RBIs, 17 SB, .435 OBP).  The Kings are looking to bounce back this week against the Renegades.

NEXT WEEK

OGFC (6-5-1) v RAYS (2-7-3)

ECK (6-6) v RRF (6-5-1)

Lakehurst Leviathans beat Rojo’s Renegade Force 9-3-2

MVP

Carlos Santana 7 Runs, 3 HRs, 5 RBIs, 1 SB .500 OBP

The Leviathans pull out their 5th victory on the season, which is the total they had in their first 2 seasons combined.  Nice little turn around going on here for Shane as they currently sit in the 6th and final playoff spot.  The groin injury to Mondesi hurts this squad a bit, but it doesn’t appear to be too serious, hopefully he is back out there recording Jericho’s soon.  Carlos Santana is a stud while wearing an Indians uniform.  One of the more underrated players around the league had himself quite a week with 7 Runs, 3 HRs, 5 RBIs, 1 SB .500 OBP.  He is having a great season so far for a Cleveland team that is suddenly hot in June (Santana has 53 Runs, 14 2Bs, 1 3B, 17 HRs, 47 RBIs, 3 SB, .417 OBP).  Sticking with the Indians theme, Oscar Mercado had a nice little Jericho as well for Lakehurst this week.

Overall this matchup was a little underwhelming when comparing to the other scores around the league.  Rojo and his Gades are sitting in the 4th playoff spot currently.  Elvis Andrus chipped in a Jericho.  Rojo will look to bounce back next week in a tough matchup against the East Coast Kings.

JERICHOs

LAKE – Oscar Mercado

RRF – Elvis Andrus

NEXT WEEK

LAKE (5-7) v IBB (4-7-1)

RRF (6-5-1) v ECK (6-6)

***MATCHUP OF THE WEEK REVIEW***

Backdoor Sliderz hold off X-Rays 7-6-1 to stay undefeated

MVP

Walker Buehler CG, 2 ER, 16 Ks, 1 W

The matchup of the week lived up to its hype as it came down to the wire Sunday night.  Dochney fell 1 RBI short of the elusive 60/60 club for the second straight week.  With the X-Rays needing a steal Sunday night, Yadier Molina took second base for a defensive indifference in the 9th while Cards were trailing.  If that had been ruled a steal this matchup would have ended in a tie.  There were plenty of storylines going on in this close matchup.  These were the only 2 teams to reach the 100 K mark this week.  Odom’s squad finished first or second around the league in the categories of runs, 2Bs, steals, Ks, wins, and saves.  X-Rays probably would have won against any other team this week. 

With steals up for grabs going into Sunday, that underdog team in Lacey streamed the long time X-Rays cornerstone and former Backyard champion Billy Hamilton.  Billy would go on to have 2 SBs Sunday, helping to keep the category tied at 10 which was critical for the win for those underdog champion good guys residing in Forked River.  Domingo Santana and Freddie Freeman had themselves a big week, each with 10 RBIs and OBP north of .440.  Buehler was absolutely dominant in his 16 K complete game, which avoided extra innings with a Matt Beaty walk off.  Nobody wants to be on the receiving end of their pitcher tossing a 9-inning gem without getting a CG…. Nobody!  Verlander and DeGrom brought it in their 2 start weeks with Verlander having 17 Ks and DeGrom 19.  Big time Jericho for Childish Bambino (4 Runs, 2 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 1 HR, 7 RBIs, 2 SBs, .500 OBP).

X-Rays put up one hell of a fight.  As stated before, he probably would have won any other matchup. #NoLightDays was in full effect, attacking you with bulk pitchers seemingly every day.  Felix Pena was especially effective in this role having 10 Ks for the week without eating up a start for the X-Rays.  X-Rays also got a good performance out of Zach Plesac in a 2-start week (2 QS, 8 Ks, 2 Wins, 1.29 ERA).  Jose Ramirez showing signs a life, picking up a Jericho this week.  It feels like the Indians have been all over this recap, right?  Mallex Smith continues to hit since his call up, 8 Runs and 3 SBs this week.

JERICHOs

Juan Soto – LTBS

Jose Ramirez – RAYS

NEXT WEEK

LTBS (12-0) v TOPES (7-5) ***MATCHUP OF THE WEEK***

RAYS (2-7-3) v OGFC (6-5-1)

A LOOK AHEAD

The first and second place teams square off in week 13.  A rematch from last years championship.  Topes are riding a 7-game winning streak while the Backdoor Sliderz are 12 and 0 to start the year and have won 17 straight going back to last season.  T will be looking to get his vengeance by handing Dochney his first loss on the season.  Oh, and Dochney secures the first-place seed with a win this week.  I am going to make up this stat and say this would be the earliest the 1 seed has ever been clinched in the Backyard.  I have no evidence to back this claim up but let’s roll with it anyway.

Oh yea, there are 4 other matchups that I’m sure have some implications too.  The playoff picture may begin to take shape this week.  Rays looking to remain alive in a must win against Heroy’s Fishing Club.  Shane, the current 6th seed, facing off against Sean’s Bears who sit in 7th.  Bad Dudes vs Slugs will be interesting as they both are looking at the playoffs from the outside for the first time in the AD era of the Backyard.  And the battle of the chat mutes with R Mac and Rojo squaring off.  Who will break the silence first!? 

WEEK 12 REVIEW

2019 ASB Draft Order

  1. Shane
  2. Odom
  3. Heroy
  4. Rojo from Sean via Odom (Castellanos, Spring Draft)
  5. Shane from Lobman (Mondesi)
  6. Odom from Rojo (Spring)
  7. Brian
  8. Ryan
  9. Lobman from T via Odom (Reynolds, Leblanc)
  10. Dochney
  11. T from Shane via Odom (Kikuchi, Plesac)
  12. Rojo from Odom (Spring)
  13. Heroy
  14. Shane from Sean via Odom (Tim Anderson, Kikuchi)
  15. Lobman
  16. Rojo
  17. Brian
  18. Sean from Ryan (Hoskins)
  19. Mikey T
  20. Lobman from Dochney (Cespedes)
  21. Odom from Shane via Lobman (Mondesi, Leblanc)
  22. Sean from Odom (Castellanos)
  23. Heroy
  24. Sean
  25. Odom from Lobman (Lester)
  26. Rojo
  27. Brian
  28. Ryan
  29. Mikey T
  30. Dochney
2019 ASB Draft Order

2019 Week One Review: “Ughhh These Fucking Things Again” Edition

 

 

 

 

TWENTY-NINETEEEEEEEEN. On the positive side of things we are perhaps a mere twenty-something weeks from @Doch no longer being champion. That’s positive. On the unfortunate side of things I will need to crank out yanno AT LEAST one of these before tossing in the towel, and WordPress has this really annoying new format that I don’t feel like figuring out right now, and so on and so forth. LET’S SEE IF WE CAN’T STREAMLINE A BIT MORE HUH (I do not give a shit about your key pitching performances)?

 

 

 

 

Island Beach Bears (YOU HEARD ME) Reluctantly Beat Pacific Beach X-Rayz Because They Respect Them Too Much Not To Try To Do Just That  –  10-2-2

 

MVP:  Rhys Hoskins  –  Bears Ownership (me) was on hand for two separate Phillies games in the extended Week 1, and Rhys dinged dongs in both, but ownership didn’t actually catch either dong with their own eyeballs. Who can pay attention at these goddamned things.  9/26, 8 Rs, 2 2Bs, 3 HRs, 13 RBIs, .514 OBP     

 

LVP:  Kole Calhoun  The whole streaming bats thing may challenge THIS BLOG all year as I’m unsure how many ABs one must log in a week (in an extended week in this case) in order to be called out for sucking. Surely it will cause this many problems or more for the franchises attempting it. But yea fuck it I’ll give it to Calhoun dong be damned.  2/19, 1 R, 1 HR, 2 RBI, .150 OBP

 

JROLLs:  Jonathan Villar (1, IBB) ; Kolten Wong (1, PLX)

 

 

Key Performer, For LOSER, to inspire HOPE 🙂 —  We are going to try and UPLIFT in 2019, not all doom and gloom when you lose a matchup (for example, none of this [or anything] really matters). So with that in mind let’s start that off by noting not all doom and gloom for the X-Rayz either. Chris Archer looked pretty solid across two starts for the ‘Rayz (not sure that works), which would be a welcome sight for PB after an up and down 2018 that culminated in a 4.31 ERA (6.61 Mar/April, 2.33 May, 6.45 Aug., 2.70 Sept./Oct.) (11 IP, 3 ER, 13 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 2.45 ERA).

 

Key Fuckup, For VICTOR, to inspire modesty :/ —  Garret Hampson came out and just plain suckedddddd, pre-season hype (written by me BUT ALSO BY OTHERS) be damned (0/14, .000 OBP).

 

Key To Matchup:  LATE MATCHUP DONGS/SOLID PITCHING. The Bears offense started out slowly but 12 HRs over the last 3 days, aided by 3 in one game from Gary Sanchez (6 total), helped them run away with things in the Rs and HRs (and I guess OBP) cats (puns about Runs and how the X-Rayz run a lot very much intended). Also the Bears won the pitching cats 6-0-1.

 

What’s Next (Week 2):  Bears @ ‘Topes (1-0 @ 0-1),

                   
X*Rayz v. Bad Dudes (0-1 v. 1-0)

 

 

 

 

 

Image result for cody bellinger gif

Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz Begin A Quest For The Ever Elusive Back To Back Chips With Easy Defeat Of Whatever Dumb Fucking Name Heroy’s Team Chose To Go By  –  8-4-2

 

MVP:  Cody Bellinger  –  Jesus fuckin’ Christmas Cody Bellinger. Not a great start to the first full year of Life Without Cody, even though I never owned him a full year. But this isn’t about me. But yea FOR FUCKS SAKE MAN hot start/likely 2019’s most ridiculous JROLL, small nod to the extended week but impressive nonetheless.  20/44, 17 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 3B, 7 HRs, 18 RBIs, 1 RBI .514 OBP, 1 JROLL     ***MVP OF THE WEEK***

LVP:  Willy Adames  Not the hottest of starts for Willy, a player this team has NO DOUBT vastly overrated if anyone’s asked about him in trade talks. Not that I really suspect anyone’s asked about him in trade talks. I swear I am not implying I did I DIDN’T.  1/20, .050 OBP    ***LVP OF THE WEEK***

 

JROLLs:  Cody Bellinger (1, LTBS)

 

 

Key Performer, For LOSER, to inspire HOPE 🙂 —  Look I know this is supposed to be #uplifting the losers but I don’t want to sugarcoat this one, as this is something I’ve already expressed in person: GREG YOU AREN’T WITTY ENOUGH TO KEEP CHANGING TEAM NAMES BASED ON MATCHUPS. Lets just not, there, shall we. Also Butt Pirates offends me as a man that wishes he was gay. Also it offends Mikey T. ANYWAYZ Mike Trout remains really good so uh sigh of relief there I guess, perhaps go back to a Trout-based team name for the good of us all (11/28, 6 Rs, 2 2Bs, 5 HRs, 12 RBIs, 1 SB, .581 OBP).

 

Key Fuckup, For VICTOR, to inspire modesty :/ —  Uhh I dunno Walker Buehler looked fairly pedestrian across two starts, take THAT Doch (8 IP, 6 ER, 4 Ks, 1 W 6.75 ERA).

 

Key To Matchup: BATS. The BDSliderz O was reallllly humming (.387 team OBP) behind Belly and like Domingo Santana (4 HRs, 15 RBIs, 3 SBs) and shit, which ya just hate to see. Really no main contributor had a week I could have thrown in the Fuckup category up there. Heroy’s team/ownership on the other hand FULL of fuckups like Adames and Dozier (2/25) and Eloy Jimenez (0/18) and Heroy (fill this in however you’d like).

 

What’s Next (Week 2):  LTBS v. Kings (1-0 v. 0-1),

                   
HEROY @ RRF (0-1 @ 1-0)

 

 

 

 

Image result for joey gallo grab

Rojo’s Renegade Force SALT THE SLUGS FORREAL THEY USED CHARLIE MORTON AGAINST THE BARNEGAT BANANA SLUGS AND EMERGED VICTORIOUS  –  7-5-2

 

MVP:  Charlie Morton Joey Gallo –  Not only did Joey Gallo do his usual thing of drawing walks and hitting dongs and stuff, he also grabbed a teammate’s dong in an outright rejection of Heroy’s hateful team names (see above). And maybe Doch’s. Haven’t decided if I’m going to call Doch a homophobe this season or not (no I probably am). #LoveIsLove.  6/25, 8 Rs, 1 2B, 3 HRs, 9 RBIs, .441 OBP     

LVP:  Ramon Laureano   For those keeping in track that’s uhhh AT LEAST 0 for 2 on guys I highlighted in team previews that came out and S’d a D. Yanno not that there is anything wrong with that.  2/17, .118 OBP

 

JROLLs:  Ender Inciarte (1, BBS) ; Whit Merrifield (1, BBS)

 

 

Key Performer, For LOSER, to inspire HOPE 🙂 —  Not all doom and gloom for the Banana Slugs (definitely some doom and gloom) as Whit Merrifield continues to look EVERY BIT a guy that’s better than Starling Marte that didn’t need to have the best prospect in baseball tossed in with him in order to faciliate a trade for said Starling Marte (fuck you Shane) (11/34, 9 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 3B, 1 HR, 4 RBIs, 3 SBs, .361 OBP, 1 JROLL).

 

Key Fuckup, For VICTOR, to inspire modesty :/ —  Honestly this is a pretty productive 1/20 and Rojo will definitely not keep a catcher for any considerable length of time but he still gave Yadi 20 ABs and he only got a hit in one of em so YEA Yadier Molina (1/20, 1 R, 1 2B, 1 RBI, .174 OBP).

 

Key To Matchup:  BANANA SLUG BAT INEPTITUDE. Not even gonna break this bad boy down to the individual level but the facts in this case remain and those facts are:  58 Runs, 14 2Bs, 10 HRs, 49 RBIs, .302 OBPThose were the team numbers for the Slugz batz and all were worst in the Backyard in Week One (Runs they tied with Ocean Gate). And yea, the Renegade Force was better than that and stuff so they won and stuff.

 

What’s Next (Week 2):  RRF v. HEROY (1-0 v. 0-1),

                   
BBS v. LL (0-1 v. 1-0)

 

 

 

 

 

Image result for pete alonso gif

River City Bad Dudes Outlast East Coast Kings Because Their Pitching Was Bad, Dude (i am so sorry)  –  7-5-2

 

MVP:  Pete Alonso –  Nice lil debut for this guy, and no I’m not putting him up here because Lobman told me to boost his trade value or something. He just hit a lot of doubles and the Bad Dudes won doubles, is all.  13/34, 6 Rs, 6 2Bs, 3 HRs, 11 RBIs, .432 OBP     

LVP:  Eduardo Rodriguez   I’ll shit on a Red Sawk any chance I get and that’s one thing people might not know about me (no they know), so fuck Eduardo Rodriguez and fuck Ben Affleck and fuck the Patriots and fuck “by CHLOE. Fenway” and fuck Bill Simmons and fuck Barstool and fuck you (I’ve left out Matt Damon here and that is deliberate, the Bourne franchise [not counting the Jeremy Renner one {and probably the last one}] is a treasure).  8 IP, 11 ER, 7 Ks, 12.38 ERA

 

 

Key Performer, For LOSER, to inspire HOPE 🙂 —  Welp Christian Yelich is off to a pretty good start if he’s aiming to do the whole “Improve Upon MVP Season” thing (13/36, 11 Rs, 4 2Bs, 5 HRs, 13 RBIs, 1 SB, .489 OBP).

 

Key Fuckup, For VICTOR, to inspire modesty :/ —  Welp Giancarlo Stanton is back to being a (sometimes freak) injury-prone piece of GARBAGE, expect setbacks Dudes fan(s) (2/8, 1 R, .600 OBP).

 

Key To Matchup:  DISAPPOINTING ACES.  I could talk about the Dudes but they talk about themselves enough. The KINGS however, let’s discuss them. Offense actually looked pretty good in the extended week buttttt piss poor starts from alotta #1s or former #1s. Watching Kershaw fade here is like watching someone pass from bone cancer so HE WAS OUT, Paxton was meh Carrasco sub-meh Syndergaard MEH. All three racked up a lot of Ks but to the credit of the Bad Dudes they needed to do more than that and they failed to.  Berrios looked great though (20.2 IP, 5 ER, 21 Ks, 3 QS, 1 W, 2.18 ERA).

 

What’s Next (Week 2):  Bad Dudes @ X-Rayz (1-0 @ 0-1),

                   
ECK @ LTBS (0-1 @ 1-0)

 

 

 

 

2019 WEEK 1 BACKYARD BATTLE OF THE WEEK, SPONSORED BY THE BLACK BEAR THAT KILLED SOME “FAMILY HORSE” IN MASSACHUSETTS.…

Image result for black bear horse

https://www.boston.com/news/local-news/2019/04/09/bear-suspected-in-death-of-400-pound-horse-in-massachusetts

(this would work better if the Bears were in the BBOTW and if some other team that I defeated had some sort of horse-based team name but ALAS that ain’t life)

 

 

 

Image result for adalberto mondesi gif

Lakehurst Leviathans Reach Twenty Percent Of Their Previous All Time Win Total With Victory Over Last Year’s First Loser, The Astoria Isotopes  –  7-6-1

 

MVP:  Adalberto Mondesi  –  OH ADALBERTO, polarizing figure in the fantasy world. The guy barely got on base in Week One but JROLL‘d anyway and if that’s what he can do with a sub-.300 OBP he should serve the Leviathans just fine. Finer than Carlos Martinez would AMIRITE?!  9/34, 5 Rs, 2 2Bs, 3 3Bs, 1 HR, 5 RBIs, 1 SB, .265 OBP, 1 JROLL     

LVP:  Chris Sale    Fuck it let’s hammer a Sawks pitcher once again. Chris Sale the ‘Topes expected MORE from you, and it really wouldn’t have taken much more (they lost ERA 4.85 to 4.75) so shame on you and fuck you I hope you suck all year 🙂 .  9 IP, 8 ER, 5 Ks, 1 QS, 8.00 ERA 

 

JROLLs:  Adalberto Mondesi (1, LL)

 

Leviathans Hitter Of Note:  OH YEA JD Martinez is still here, can’t forget about that guy he can hit a baseball a bit MOST UNFORTUNATELY (14/42, 5 Rs, 3 HRs, 8 RBIs, .404 OBP).

Leviathans Pitcher Of Note:  GOOD LORD Matthew Boyd what a start sir, I was going to call him “young man” but don’t care enough to look up how old he is ANYONE’S GUESS (6.1 IP, 1 ER, 13 Ks, 1 QS, 1.42 ERA).

 

Isotopes Hitter Of Note:  Can basically repeat whatever I said for JD up there for my main man Khris Davis, the battle for the best K(C)hris Davis is SO over (10/46, 6 Rs, 5 HRs, 10 RBIs, .300 OBP).

Isotopes Pitcher Of Note:  Both ‘Topes Rox SP looked good but let’s shout out to German Marquez for earnin’ that $ FOR NOW (13 IP, 1 ER, 14 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 0.69 ERA).

 

BBOTW BREAKDOWN

 

What can I sayyyyy really, this was a tight battle that came down to Sunday night which we really love here at THA BLAWG cuz yanno that makes for an easy BBOTW pick. I’m sure a buncha shit happened before Sunday Night Baseball but BY THEN the ‘Topes were seeking runs from Nolan Arenado and Charlie Blackmon and they got one from each but that wasn’t enough NOW WAS IT. A triple would also have done. I dunno I’m sure other stuff happened, Ks and QS and ERA were all fairly close on the other side of the ball but IN THE END the team that never wins many games won a matchup against the team that was in the BCS last season. HOW BOUT THEM APPLES. I’ve learned better since the previously named outfit started out 2-0 that one time only to not. win. another. matchup. that. entire. season. So yea NOTHING TO SEE HERE ON TO WEEK TWO…. 

Week 2 will see this thus far unremarkable Lakehurst franchise taking on the Barnegat franchise, FAMILY FOES. Meanwhile the Isotopes will find themselves looking to avoid 0-2 against yours truly, spoiler alert I intend to send them to 0-2. THE BACKYARD FOLKS.

 

What’s Next (Week 2):  LL @ BBS (1-0 @ 0-1),

                   
‘Topes v. Bears (0-1 v. 1-0)

 

 

 

 

 

This concludes Week One Review. Thank you for tuning to Week One Review, be sure to hit subscribe and follow my “insta” and this review was a nightmare so I reserve the right to adjust this ENTIRELY next time. Once I’m done sending angry emails to WordPress people or whatevs. Whatever. Suck it nerdz.

2019 Week One Review: “Ughhh These Fucking Things Again” Edition

2019 Announcements and Referendum Results

Per the results of the Spring Referendum, the following regulations/proposals shall go into effect beginning immediately.

Opening Week Start Limit: 16

All Star Break Start Limit: 18

Trade Deadline: 7/24/19 at 12 PM eastern*

*subject to ESPN tomfoolery

Draft Lottery: Shall begin with 2020 Spring Draft order

Minor League Policy Proposal: Lobman’s approved

Announcements from the league office regarding the 2019 season and on

Head to Head playoff tiebreakers:

  1. Head to Head
  2. Wins
  3. Division Record
  4. Total Season Stats
  5. Record Last 9 Games
  6. Longest Win Streak
  7. Most 10+ category win weeks
  8. Coin flip

More than 2 team tiebreakers:

  1. Head to Head (requires a complete sweep by one team)
  2. Wins
  3. Division Record
  4. Record Last 9 Games
  5. Longest Win Streak
  6. Most 10+ Category Win Weeks
  7. Coin Flip

New Awards and All-Star Team

  • Coming in 2019, we will vote on a Backyard oriented All Star team. This comes in response to the backlash from the ESPNPR ASB All Star teams that have been released so far. Participation is voluntary.
  • The 2019 Awards will introduce 3 new awards. Comeback Player, Breakout Player, and Streamer of the Year will all debut on the 2019 award ballots.

Minor League Commissioner

Effective January 15th, 2019, Mike Lobman is officially named Minor League Commissioner and will handle all violations and punishment legislation going forward.

2019 Announcements and Referendum Results