MVP: Jose Altuve – Jose Altuve has actually taken a bit of flack from Lacey ownership in the early goings (could the picture above be an indication as to why?! YOU DECIDE..) but he is still pretty damn good don’t kid yourselves, and was probably at his best all season in Week 8. 50% of his season steals total and 25% of his season HR total and a JROLL. 12/28, 7 Rs, 3 2Bs, 1 3B, 1 HR, 8 RBIs, 3 SBs, .448 OBP ***MVP OF THE WEEK***
LVP: Eric Hosmer – Flip sideeee of the coin we have Eric Hosmer, who has had a surprisingly effective season but who the hell really knows how effective he really shall be. Certainly the Padres don’t given the contract they threw at him. But yea Hosmer wasn’t really any good in Week 8. 4/23, 1 R, .240 OBP
BackdoorSliderz Hitter Of Note: Here’s another good Astro in the BDSliderz possession, Alex Bregman (7/25, 5 Rs, 4 2Bs, 1 HR, 6 RBIs, 2 SBs, .438 OBP).
BackdoorSliderz Pitcher Of Note: And THE YOUNG Walker Buehler lookin’ pretttyyyy good in the early going (14 IP, 2 ER, 14 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 1.29 ERA).
RRF Hitter Of Note: Scooter Gennett I still do not get what the FUCK there (12/24, 6 Rs, 2 2Bs, 3 HRs, 10 RBIs, .519 OBP).
RRF Pitcher Of Note: And the RRF got a Daniel Mengden CGshutout, ALL FOR NAUGHT but impressive nonetheless (9 IP, 0 ER, 5 Ks, 1 QS, 1 CG, 1 W, 0.00 ERA).
Week 9: Sliderz @ Warriors (3-5 @ 5-3)
RRF v. X*Rayz (4-4 v. 4-4)
MVP: Eugenio Suarez – Eugenio is currently THIRD in baseball in RBIs despite having like at least 50 less ABs than most other guys on that list. Which on one hand kinda points to how arbitrary RBIs can sometimes be (the Reds aren’t exactly offensive juggernauts) but on the other hand makes me kinda sad as a one time owner let’s move on. 6/22, 2 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 8 RBIs, .346 OBP
LVP: Matt Chapman – Matt Chapman’s line makes me sad for different reasons, as that guy just LOVES putting up weeks like this. Loves it. 2/21, 1 R, 1 RBI, .136 OBP ***LVP OF THE WEEK***
Banana Slugs Hitter Of Note: Howz about Salvador Perez with a MATCHUP HIGH 3 dongs (7/31, 3 Rs, 3 HRs, 8 RBIs, .250 OBP).
Banana Slugs Pitcher Of Note: Nick Pivetta gave up 6 runs in an inning of work back on the 4th o’ May but since then he’s been v. good again GOOD FOR NICK (12 IP, 2 ER, 14 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.50 ERA).
Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note: But yea Bryce Harper also hit three (7/25, 3 Rs, 2 2Bs, 3 HRs, 7 RBIs, .321 OBP).
Bad Dudes Pitcher Of Note: Sonny Gray sucks there I said it, KEEP YOUR Ks (3.2 IP, 5 ER, 7 Ks, 12.27 ERA).
Week 9: Slugs v. Isotopes (7-1 v. 6-2, BBOTW)
Bad Dudes @ Babadooks (3-5 @ 4-4)
MVP: Brandon Nimmo – Look the stats were ugly in this one, kinda across the board. But somebody had to win (or tie) and somebody did and we will NOT apologize for that. But we will have a kinda hard time picking an MVP, so just gonna use this space to point out BRANDON NIMMO (of last year’s BCS infamy) has been the Mets best hitter and I demand they start him most of the time the rest of the way. 5/14, 4 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 3B, 1 HR, 1 RBI, .438 OBP
LVP: JD Martinez – JD Martinez with the (relative) power shortage last week and good fuck him. 2/19, 2 Rs, 1 HR, 1 RBI, .190 OBP
Babadooks Hitter Of Note: Ronald Guzman was the ONLY MAN in this matchup to hit multiple dongs, like I said it was ugly (3/6, 2 Rs, 2 HRs, 2 RBIs, .625 OBP).
Babadooks Pitcher Of Note: Kenta Maeda went out there and dominated the Rockies last week and now this week he gets pulled with injury 5 outs in and now is dropped and that is life in the league (6.2 IP, 0 ER, 12 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 0.00 ERA).
Morning Wood Hitter Of Note: Lorenzo Cain I will say did his relative best in this one, but they could have used a 3B Lorenzo (11/24, 8 Rs, 1 2B, 1 HR, 2 RBIs, 1 SB .536 OBP).
Morning Wood Pitcher Of Note: Also could have used Zack Greinke escaping with a W in one of his two starts either one really (12 IP, 6 ER, 14 Ks, 1 QS, 4.50 ERA).
Week 9: Babadooks v. Bad Dudes (4-4 v. 3-5)
MW @ OGTFC (1-7 @ 3-5)
MVP: Gleyber Torres – You already knew. 7/18, 5 Rs, 5 HRs, 9 RBIs, .450 OBP
LVP: Yolmer Sanchez – This is mostly to point out the the poor Isotopes (jk fuck ’em) got FIVE triples and it still wasn’t good enough to win the triples cat. For the Warriors also notched 5. Yolmer notched one Yolmer is a prolific three bagger bagger. 4/19, 1 3B, 1 RBI, 1 SB, .211 OBP
Warriors Hitter Of Note: Austin Meadows JROLL, it only took the Pirates like a hundred years to finally promote him no biggie (10/22, 6 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs, 2 SBs, .435 OBP).
Warriors Pitcher Of Note: Anddd Jose Berrios also gave the ‘Topes a bit of the business, for fantasy poetic justice is the best poetic justice (15.1 IP, 4 ER, 17 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 2.35 ERA).
Isotopes Hitter Of Note: Silver linings would be that Aaron Judge is still mostly v good (7/20, 6 Rs, 1 2B, 3 HRs, 4 RBIs, 1 SB, .500 OBP).
Isotopes Pitcher Of Note: Anddd Chris Sale got lit up on Sunday, for fantasy poetic justice is the best poetic justice (12 IP, 7 ER, 17 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 5.25 ERA).
Week 9: Warriors v. Sliderz (5-3 v. 3-5)
Isotopes @ Slugs (6-2 @ 7-1, BBOTW)
2018 WEEK 8 BACKYARD BATTLE OF THE WEEK, SPONSORED BY NAME-CALLING
MVP: Miles Mikolas – Mission Valley got this one done with pitching folks, leaving me NO CHOICE but to give this to a guy that once ate a live lizard on video and also once threw a CG (last week). I’m not thrilled with it either but here we are. Nature is brutal. Man even brutal-er. 15 IP, 4 ER, 14 Ks, 1 QS, 1 CG, 1 W, 2.40 ERA
LVP: Josh Bell – Josh Bell, inversely, remains relatively disappointing this season. 4/20, 1 2B, 1 RBI, .261 OBP
X*Rayz Hitter Of Note: Jose Ramirez remains a treasure, what more can I say here (6/22, 5 Rs, 2 2Bs, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs, 1 SB, .429 OBP).
X*Rayz Pitcher Of Note: JA Happ very strong last week as well, no word yet on whether or not he’s eaten a lizard before (13.2 IP, 4 ER, 13 Ks, 2 QS, 2 Ws, 2.63 ERA).
OGTFC Hitter Of Note: Mike Trout back to being rather good, I am sure he has put that whole hitless streak behind him (8/20, 7 Rs, 3 2Bs, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs, 2 SBs, .556 OBP).
OGTFC Pitcher Of Note: And Gerrit Cole blah blah something something (13 IP, 5 ER, 16 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 3.46 ERA).
This one wasn’t NEARLY as competitive as the bitchfest in the chat that one day over misinterpreted comments LEAKED from private conversation roughly 5 months ago (or whenever). But yea, TECHNICALLY was still kinda in play on Sunday but the X*Rayz never seemed to sweat this one out all that much in part due to uncharacteristically EXCELLENT pitching numbers: 97 Ks, 10 QS, 1 CG, 5 Ws, 8 Saves, 1.730 ERA. That gave Mission Valley a 6-1 advantage in pitching cats, from there it’s as simple as not fucking up too hard in hitting cats. And not fuck up too hard they did, going 3-4 in those guys for their final 9-5 advantage. Credit the X*Rayz pitching staff for really getting it done in Week 8, credit the OGTFC staff for not exactly making it close on that side o’ the ball (5.143 ERA). And that dear readers is how the BLOOD FEUD shook out.
In Week 9 Mission Valley will head to the Land Of The Hold to take on Rojo’s Renegade Force, they just set the all-time holds record the X*Rayz have the fewest holds in the league I have a good guesstimate on how that cat will shake out. The OGTFC, meanwhile, will be looking to lick their wounds at the expense of our lovable 10th place team out there in “Q-Tip City.” SHOULD BE A GOOD ONE, or something.
Week 9: X*Rayz @ RRF (4-4 @ 4-4)
OGTFC v. MW (3-5 v. 1-7)