2017 RECORD: 9-8-1
KNOW YOUR OWNER/KNOW YOUR TEAM!: STILL DISGRACED STILL FORMER COMMISSIONER MIKEY T! When Mikey T isn’t “with this broad” or Thirsty Thursdaying he enjoys pestering me about Gary Sanchez and likely pestering any other owner that has any Yankees of value. As for the ‘Topes, they unfortunately squandered two CAREER YEARS out of Charlie Blackmon and Aaron Judge (#1 and #3 on our league’s “player rater” respectively) and lost in Round 1 of last year’s playoffs. Which was a shame ‘cuz I may have even been rooting for them. On the bright side they’ve now acquired Nolan Arenado, #6 on our league’s player rater and he wasn’t having a career year so much as just being himself. Those three are basically all that need to be discussed for Mikey T’s ‘Topes but lets scroll down a bit and I will try and add in some other stuff. Oh and also BEST OF LUCK TO MIKEY T IN THE UPCOMING SEASON!
KEY ADDITIONS!: 3B NOLAN ARENADO (perhaps the best addition of all time), 1B Matt Olson, LF Corey Dickerson, C Buster Posey, SP Chris Salealso maybe some of the kids if they get a shot (Miguel Andujar, Dustin Fowler).
HERE’S THE THING, where do I draw the cutoff on a key addition people?! Is it like somebody who didn’t have an AB or throw an inning for the team last season but should this season? Somebody who played less than X amount of games the previous season? Figure I might as well choose the ‘Topes preview as the opportune time to complain about this conundrum. DISCUSS AMONGST YOURSELVES…
KEY SUBTRACTIONS!: 1B/LF Cody Bellinger, 1B Wil Myers, SP Jose Berrios, LF/1B Rhys Hoskins even though he never even suited up, RP Sean Doolittle, Gleyber Torres in time, Scott Kingery soon now verrrrrrry soon nowwww, YOU’LL ALL SEE.
THE BATTERS!: THE ISOTOPES PULL OFF THE BLOCKBUSTERIEST TRADE IN A LONG WHILE AND ADD TOP FIVER Nolan Arenado. That’s really your headline folks. They paid for it in sexy youth upside potential but then went out and added intriguing and possibly sexy youth upside potential in Matt Olson, so perhaps that all works out for them. If not for the ‘Nado headline the headline would be the potential encore performance out of Charlie Blackmon and Aaron Judge who both absolutely crushed it last season. Blackmon has been pretty good for a while so it fits, Judge they weren’t even sure would make the OD roster to begin 2017 so that was a bit of a surprise. PLAN FOR REGRESSION but they should both still be pretty excellent. The ‘Topes also return the fossilized Miggy Cabrera, fresh off a downnnnnnn year. Robby Cano also not getting any younger, but his 2017 was far more okayish than Miggy’s BUT JUST OKAY. Alright enough of this shit, ONTO THE HR #s:
Twelve Eleven projected for 20+ including six projected for 30 or more including two projected for 40+ (Judge and KHRUSH DAVIS, with Nado projected for 38). So yea actually TAKE THAT, vaunted Fishing Club offense. Perhaps I’ve overrated you. Perhaps ESPN has overrated most of the ‘Topes team. TIME SHALL TELL.
1- Nolan Arenado
2- Charlie Blackmon
3- Aaron Judge
4- Khris Davis
Wil Myers Jean Segura
THE PITCHERS!: The Isotopes pitching staff UPGRADED aces and went from a young gun in Berrios to a proven killer in Chris Sale, I dunno how a Yankees fan can stomach rostering the man but power to Astoria. The Isotopes pitching staff also feels older than it is, as Dallas Keuchel and Gio Gonzalez both feel like they’ve been around forfucking ever. But Dallas turned 30 on New Year’s Day and Gio is only like 32.5 so whatever maybe they aren’t that old. They’re both pretty good, Dallas the pretty gooder of the two of course. Cole Hamels really IS that old (as in 34) and he feels even older, lotta wear and tear on that arm. Let’s see if it stays attached to his body in 2018. Jose Quintana is a dependable QS maker in a world running out of QS’,
and Jose Berrios is an obvious threat to make THE LEAP and instantly become far and away this team’s best starter. I s’pose that title goes to like Keuchel right now or something? Whom knows. Oh yea and Lance Lynn is down there dickin’ around.
The bullpen farrrrr less dependable, as last year’s waiver wire darling Greg Holland remains without a job at press time and Chad Green is a weird long man type thing in a Yankees bullpen that has like 15 great relievers. Tough to predict the numbers there. The ‘Topes will also feature Drew Steckenrider for AT LEAST his remaining 15 High Minors innings or so, he’s a quietly solid arm but I say that about all High Minors potential holds guys I think.
Oh yea they also have one actually good bullpen piece in Sean Doolittle, he’s the current closer for a projected first place team so that is always nice. HEALTH NOT GUARANTEED however.
1- Chris Sale
2- Dallas Keuchel
Jose Berrios Jose Quintana
4- Gio Gonzalez
5- Cole Hamels
THE PREDICTION!: 8-9-1, 6th place. Look man let’s be real here, the ‘Topes got RIDICULOUS years out of Judge and Blackmon. Bellinger also hit the shit out of the ball all season. Now you’ve replaced Bellinger with Arenado which is a nice little upgrade (MAYBE) but you have to factor in some regression with Judge and Blackmon, PLUS Moose probably doesn’t hit 38 HRs again, but MAYBE Miggy gets his shit together but maybe he doesn’t. Add it all up and what I see here is a team that barely grabbed a 6 seed even with the top two run scorers in all of baseball rostered. So they’ll probably just grab the 6 seed again….. is what I am saying.
THE COMMISH’S PREDISH! (Odom’s Prediction): 10-8, 4th place.