FUCK THIS WEEK MANNNNNN. Not only did I NOT un-undefeat the evil Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz, it also was just kinda a “meh” performance where we just generally did a little bit worse in all facets. Except for Doubles. A TRULY PATHETIC SIX DOUBLES.
In protest of the absolute bullshit that was Week 7’s results for my specific fantasy team, as well as in protest of ESPN’s epic-ally phoned-in performance this season….I am epic-ally phoning in this fucking review. And probably not even calling in for Week 8 or Week 9. EXPECT AN INTERESTING POWER RANKINGS beginning o’ June where I seek to combine 3 weeks of reviews into one June Power Rankings post in order to avoid yanno, reviewing this bullshit. Few quick news and notes prior to that:
Week 7 Very Basic Results:
LTBS (7-0, FUCK) over IBB (3-3-1),
LL (4-3, A NEW SEASON RECORD CONGRATS SHANE) over HEROY (4-3 and MERCIFULLY converted back to the OGTFC [never thought I would miss that name] after learning that fantasy baseball, as in life, is just random chaos your name means nothing)
‘Topes (2-5) over PBX (0-5-2)
ECK (4-3) over BBS (1-5-1)
RRF (4-3) over RCBD (3-3-1)
Week 7 MVP OF THE WEEK:
Eduardo Escobar, I shit you not it was between him and Rendon like I said FUCKED WEEK
8/27, 7 Rs, 1 2B, 2 3Bs, 3 HRs, 10 RBIs, .321 OBP
Week 7 LVP OF THE WEEK:
DANIEL MURPHY, by popular request…..
0/11, 1 RBI, .083 OBP
Week 7 JROLLs:
Only ONE as these are a dying art, and that one came from:
WEEK SIX has come and gone. And I am FOCUSED AS LASER! Not on this review, I have no fucking desire to write this and I am actually planning on really just quarter-assing my way through it. But going to claim this is because this is DOCH WEEK, laser focused on Doch Week….but maybe it’s just cuz I don’t feel like writing this shit? But also CUZ THIS IS DOCH WEEK. Focused as laser!
If I defeat the dreaded BackdoorSliderz in the WEEK SEVEN BACKYARD BATTLE OF THE WEEK I promise I’ll write 5,000 words on it…..
River City Bad Dudes Roll Past Island Beach Bears, Who Were Obviously Just Looking Ahead To DOCH WEEK – 11-2-1
MVP: Kyle Gibson – Kyle Gibson above is me looking at my streaming luck of late. Look man absolutely NO ONE had an impressive week here, except for Andujar and the Bears starting staff and that was the “impressively bad” sort of impressive. So Bogaertswas okay (7 Rs, .379 OBP) but more importantly for the Dudes Kyle Gibson and whomever the fuck else they threw out there pitched pretty nicely. NOT THAT MUCH WAS REQUIRED OF THEM.6 IP, 1 ER, 11 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.50 ERA
LVP:Miguel Andujar – NAWT the finest of debuts for Miggy Andujar, I will say that much. Given the amount of ABs and the sheer nothingness done with them this may be your LVP of the YEAR. 1/27, .037 OBP ***LVP OF THE WEEK/PROBABLY YEAR***
PITCHING STUFF. This one was never as close as some of the #s may have implied it was (on the hitting side of thingz), and that is because the Bears pitching was ONCE AGAIN terrible (a MARK OF THE BEAST ERA, which leads to losses in other KEYCATS as one can probably infer). Credit to the Dudes for pitching pretty well, but yea nobody pitched worse than these assholes last week. I shall cut them all. I should also add the only thing sadder than the Bears starting pitching this season/this week was the way Lobman kept checking the fucking box score even though the matchup was in the bag PROBABLY since like Thursday but definitely before we even got to Citi Field. Just be PRESENT IN THE MOMENT, Mike. Especially if in that moment you are dancing on top of a ledge in a gay bar….
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: I should also add the only thing sadder than the Bears starting pitching this season/this week was the way Lobman kept checking the fucking box score even though the matchup was in the bag PROBABLY since like Thursday but definitely before we even got to Citi Field… Just be PRESENT IN THE MOMENT, Mike… Especially if in that moment you are dancing on top of a ledge in a gay bar… what else WHAT, ELSE… Uhh only two hitters per team with multi-HR weeks and by multi-HR I mean 2 HR (Alonso & Reyes for the Dudes, Encarnacion & Tim Anderson for the Bears)…
What’s Next (Week 7): RCBD v. RRF (3-2-1 v. 3-2-1)
IBB @ LTBS (3-2-1 @ 6-0, BBOTW)
Astoria Isotopes FINALLY Grab A Fucking Win, Unfortunately At The Expense Of The East Coast Kings Rather Than At The Expense Of Some Piece Of Shit’s Team (Like Lacey) – 8-6-0
MVP: Charlie Blackmon – If I wanted to just get this review done quickly (and I do) I would cop out here by saying Blackmon did his best Yelichimpression (half his hits for the week left the yard) and Yelich did his best Blackmon impression and that’s that. ‘Nado was also good but yea, gooder job by Charlie I guess. 8/20, 9 Rs, 1 2B, 4 HRs, 5 RBIs, .520 OBP
LVP:Miguel Cabrera – Nobody was particularly BAD for the Kings, and there was certainly worse Miggys during this particular week, but Miggy was just kinda MEH in a nice opportunity to avenge his own POORLY HANDLED release (no respect). 26/22, 1 R, 2 RBIs, .333 OBP
QS. It tends to be tricky to OUTCLASS the Kings in certain pitching cats, particularly on a week when they pitch to a 2.72 ERA, but the ‘Topes were able to do just that in escaping with a 7-6 QS victory. The Isotopes were no slouched with their hurlers (3.40 ERA, 95 Ks) but still only went 3-4 on the pitching cats, so yea. FLIP THIS ONE and you have a disgusting tie
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: This was the first time all season that the Kings lost with an ERA under 5, interestingly enough… This was also the first time all season that the Isotopes won, in case that wasn’t covered… The Kings had the lowest RBI output but highest SB output in Week 9, somewhat of a classic X-Rayz formula…
What’s Next (Week 7): ‘Topes @ PBX (1-5 @ 0-4-2)
ECK v. BBS (3-3 v. 1-4-1)
Heroy’s Weird Ode To My Brother Of A Team Wins Beats The Barnegat Banana Slugs, Somebody Cue Up A Losing Streak For This Idiot So He Adopts An Actual Team Name – 7-5-2
MVP: Kris Bryant – KRIS BRYANT. Still out here, let’s give him his first MVP of the week since like 2017 (probably) never mind forgot bout Springer. 8/25, 9 Rs, 1 3B, 4 HRs, 7 RBIs, .485 OBP
LVP:Christian Walker– “2019 Luke Voit” (I’m sure someone has said it) kinda followed Luke towards RELATIVE mediocrity in Week 6 (he did make his one XBH count I will give him that), which is a shame cuz the rest of the Slugs O was pretty toight. 3/22, 1 R, 1 3B, .269 OBP
OBP. This one likely stings a bit for the Slugs because on both sides of the ball they BASICALLY performed as well as they have all season. Yet they were matched up with an opponent that was performing just a bit better in enough categories. And that’s basically how you win or lose a week. ANYHOW this was exemplified best in OBP, where the Slugs would usually feel pretty good about their performance but were no match for a firing-on-all-cylinders uhh Heroy outfit (HEROY won .402-.351).
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: These were your top two Run totals in Week 6… Team Heroy was one of 4 teams in Week 6 to cross the 100K threshold (Bad Dudes, X-Rayz, BackdoorSliderz are your other 3)… Eugenio Suarezscored 10 Rs for the Slugs, which is NOTABLE I GUESS I dunno… phonin’ this one in remember…
What’s Next (Week 7): HEROY v. LL (4-2 v. 3-3)
BBS @ ECK (1-4-1 @ 3-3)
Pacific Beach X-Rayz Harness The Power Of Sharon Johnson To Tie The Pride Of Sharon Johnson’s Team, Rojo’s Renegade Force – 7-7-0
MVP: MOTHERS EVERYWHERE but specifically Sharon Johnson – ALLEGEDLY Mothers Day festivities are to blame for the Renegade Force being unable to get two extra starters (both of whom threw what would be matchup-winning QS) into their lineup. No word on what Sharon ordered or how that explains the other two starts the RRF failed to put forth (8/12 starts is only kewl if you win, kids). I respect both Mr. and Mrs. J too much to do something with the “stats” section here, as we all know I could…
LVP:Rojo– So tired of having to give this good friend and okay realtor LVP, and yet here it is happening for like the GOD KNOWS HOW MANY-eth time. Amateur effort. If it was against an opponent I actually enjoy seeing lose this would have been a longer paragraph. 1 Absent-minded Brunch (I’ll bet he didn’t pay)
QS. I’m honed in on the Mothers Day EXCUSE here but really the RRF only started EIGHT this week and starting any one of those extra 4 and having any one of them pitch a QS gets them a W (including the 2 QS thrown on Sunday by Ryuand Tanaka). What kinda MONSTER doesn’t set those 2 into his Sunday lineup like the day before or whatfuckingever?! Someone call Kevin Johnson (or Rachel <3) and see if he wants to take this outfit over. Anywhom the X-Rayz won QS 7-6 despite going a very pretty 0-2 in QS attempts on Sunday (Snell 5.2, 2 ER, 12 Ks Corbin Martin 5.1, 1 ER, 9 Ks), tie preserved.
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: Rojo your indifference here was both an inspiration (particularly when juxtaposed with some other owners) and a slap in the face of the very INSTITUTION of the Backyard and this carefully-crafted blog and it will be stamped out so help me god (jk I’m just speeding through this and didn’t know what else to write… ps George Springer (14/27, 10 Rs, 2 2Bs, 5 HRs, 10 RBIs, .563 OBP) was the actual ***MVP OF THE WEEK*** (maybe shared with Sharon)…
What’s Next (Week 7): PBX v. ‘Topes (0-4-2 v. 1-5)
RRF @ RCBD (3-2-1 @ 3-2-1)
2019 WEEK SIX BACKYARD BATTLE OF THE WEEK, SPONSORED BY THIS CLEVELAND ZOO BABY SLOTH BEAR NAMING CONTEST (that I feel is going somewhat poorly)
Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz Easily Beat Lakewood Leviathans But Were Also No Doubt Looking Ahead To HUGE Matchup With Island Beach Bears In Week 7 – 11-2-1
MVP: Justin Turner – YEA, for all their sexy youthful talent and all their bluster fucking Justin Turner. 9/21, 7 Rs, 1 2B, 4 HRs, 8 RBIs, .455 OBP
LVP:Carlos Santana – Carlos is usually an OBP STALWART so he let the fam down herecan’t be the same Robinson Cano the ‘Topes keep dangling in trade talks CAN IT?!?! 4/26, 1 R, 1 2B, 1 RBI, .214 OBP
BackdoorSliderz Hitter Of Note: You know you’re rolling the fuck along when fucking Justin Turner and Gregory Polancoare the ones pacing your offense in an easy victory of a week (9/20, 6 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 8 RBIs, .500 OBP).
BackdoorSliderz Pitcher Of Note: To further illustrate that point, behold Lacey Twp’s SECOND streamed Zach Eflin CG (9 IP, 0 ER, 7 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1 CG, 0.00 ERA).
Leviathans Hitter Of Note: The Leviathans may be backsliding a bit, perhaps falling into their old ways, but HEY at least Alex Gordon isn’t falling into his old ways (he tends to suck) he’s been a pretty solid hitter thus far (7/20, 3 Rs, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs, .381 OBP).
Isotopes Pitcher Of Note: This is just so I can make a mental note to myself to try and trade for Matt Boydhe’s been swell (6 IP, 1 ER, 6 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.50 ERA).
BBOTW BREAKDOWN
Who give a fuck what happened this week, WEEK SEVEN IS ALL THAT MATTERS.
In Week 7 the undefeated Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz will take on THE MAN THEY THREATENED TO PUNCH IN THE FACE, and his Island Beach Bears. In what will surely be (possibly be) the most chat participation you get out of me all season. As I must defend my honor and my right, as a ‘Murrican, to be “pretentious” and “passive-aggressive.” This was where I should have had a photoshopped image of Doch as Odor and me as Bautista but we can add that in w/ post edits once Brian gets around to it. The blog is big on post edits now.
Also Shane is playing someone I’m sure, that’s how this league works we all keep playing people until it’s over….
What’s Next (Week 7): LTBS v. IBB (6-0 v. 3-2-1, BBOTW)
LL@ HEROY (3-3 @ 4-2)
Week Six Review, HALF-ASSED by me so I can focus on defeating FRAUDNEY. Works enough for me.
Alrightttttt in the flow here now that I’ve shed another few layers from these fucking things, so let’s crank out another half-hearted review. That way I can eventually crank out Week 6 review. That way I can brainstorm a way to combine weeks 7-9. But lets not get ahead of ourselves. First this “review”….
Also the Astoria Isotopes will not be featured in the Week 6 BBOTW, rest my sweet prince…..
Rojo’s Renegade Force Steamroll A Hibernating Bears Squad – 8-3-3
MVP: Michael Chavis – I barely know who this dipshit is (jk I do), but fuck him. That’s the only intro he’s getting outta me.11/27, 8 Rs, 1 2B, 3 HRs, 8 RBIs, 1 SB, .500 OBP
LVP:Brandon Nimmo – Hoooooooooly shit I didn’t even realize how bad Nimmo was last week, or else I wouldn’t have had to debate him vs. Kepler this afternoon. Fuck Nimmo too, then. 0/18, 1 RBI, .182 OBP ***LVP OF THE WEEK***
ERA. The Bears pitched like a bag of dicks in managing a mere 2 QS for the 2nd time in the past 3 weeks (both of our uhh non-wins) but that is probably most succinctly expressed in the ERA matchup (RRF win 3.30 to 4.56). There’s some other blame I can throw around (mostly towards Dave Roberts), and I should probably be discussing the winner of the matchup more than the loser, but yea the loser in this case only had 2 QS and 69 Ks (nice).
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: This was the only matchup in Week 5 not to feature a Triple… The Bears had the week’s lowest K total, RRF were 2nd lowest…
What’s Next (Week 6): RRF v. PBX (3-2 v. 0-4-1)
IBBv. RCBD (3-1-1 @ 2-2-1)
Lakewood Leviathans Harness The Power Of Montezuma’s Mondesi’s Revenge, Defeat River City Bad Dudes – 8-5-1
MVP: Adalberto Mondesi – I was one of the many folks who called into question the underlying skillset of a one Adalberto Mondesi relative to his preseason ADP, and I DO still believe there is quite a floor here, but the view right about now is looking prettttty nice. He appears to be a better asset than the corpse of Carlos Martinez, I can declare that with some confidence. He’s also our early JROLL LEADA. 8/28, 6 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 1 HR, 8 RBIs, 3 SBs, .355 OBP, 1 JROLL ***MVP OF THE WEEK***
LVP:Rougned Odor – As impressive as Adalberto was in Week 5, Rougned was equally unimpressive. I don’t GIVE A DAMN SIR about your 3 run dong and your cute lil SB, you’re pretty much unrosterable in an OBP league and I shall continue to shout it from the heavens. 2/21, 2 Rs, 1 HR, 3 RBIs, 1 SB, .136 OBP
JROLLs: Adalberto Mondesi (2, LL)
QS. The Bad Dudes actually outclassed the Leviathans on the hitters side (won HRs 19-12, etc. etc.) but it was the solid pitching of Lakehurst that helped deliver them this dub. Take for example QS (LL takes it 7–3). Now ya got that kinda lead and you’re thinkin’ you’re also gonna get the ERA win, okay? And with that you’re hoping for Ws and Ks, okay? And so yea that’s what happened. …..they also won Holds. But QUALITY STARTS is the focus here.
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: The Bad Dudes were one of 3 teams in the Backyard to post a sub-.300 OBP in Week 5… Archie Bradley gave up 4 ER without recording an out for the Leviathans… to settle the score a bit, a Brad Peacockstart backfired horrendously for River City (3.2 IP, 7 ER, 2 Ks)… Marcus Stromanfailed to go 5 for the Jays/Bad Dudes for the 2nd time this season (3.1 IP, 4 ER, 3 Ks), he’s been otherwise rather sensational (2.20 ERA)…
What’s Next (Week 6): LL v. LTBS (3-2 v. 5-0, BBOTW)
RCBD @ IBB (2-2-1 @ 3-1-1)
East Coast Kings Klobber (Kinda But Not Really) The Pacific Beach X-Rayz – 8-5-1
MVP: Noah Syndergaard – It’s debatable whether or not Noah was the MOST crucial component to this King’s victory (as if I do these things super scientifically) but what ISN’T debatable is this: Throwing a CG shutout that you win 1-0, when the 1 is a dong you hit, is fucking badass and deserves to be recognized in these hallowed Matchup MVP chronicles. 9 IP, 0 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1 CG, 1 W, 0.00 ERA
LVP:Dee Gordon– “Speed don’t slump” but sometimes some of these speedy guys on the X-Rayz just sorta suck at hitting, yanno? Dee managed a steal but also sucked quite a bit. 4/20, 1 RBI, 1 SB, .200 OBP
JROLLs: Kelvin Gutierrez (1, PBX) (…..PS- WHO THE FUCK?!)
CG. Complete games are ALWAYS a key stat. ALWAYS I tell you. Cuz I mean you take this Syndergaard CG shutout away and replace it with ohhh I dunno Brad Peacock‘s Week 5 line and BOOM Odom wins or something. That’s a lot of jiggering around with stats but whatever, I said what I said.
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: I always find it FASCINATING when teams tie in traditionally non-tied cats and here our two combatants ended up knotted up @ 40 RBIs apiece, how bout them apples… Christian Yelichonly got 5 ABs this week due to a back injury so he was only able to hit 1 HR, thusly opening the door for a non-Yelich MVP in a Kings victory… DISASTROUS start for Blake Snellvs. KC (3 IP, 7 ER)… Forreal though whom in the fuck is Kelvin Guttierez?
What’s Next (Week 6): ECK @ ‘Topes (3-2 @ 0-5)
PBX @ RRF (0-4-1 @ 3-2)
Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz ABSOLUTELY STEAL A Victory From The Jaws Of Defeat, Break The Hearts Of The Barnegat Banana Slugs – 7-6-1
MVP: Alex Bregman – Bregman came within a few of matching the Slugs total HRs for the week, that sorta says more about the Slugs than it does about Alex but Alex is also rather sensational. Loved his work in the great Bauer v. Astros Twitter battle of 2018. 7/25, 6 Rs, 5 HRs, 10 RBIs, .357 OBP
LVP:Eddie Rosario– This, this was not Eddie’s best work. Which is a shame cuz I’m a fan. But he let us all down in Week 5. 2/23, 1 R, 1 RBI, .125 OBP
JROLLs:Whit Merrifield (2, BBS)
Strikeouts. OOF, this fucking tomfoolery here. The Slugs had Bauerand uhhh PaddackI think (?!) pushed back to Monday as I recall, but still entered Sunday in good shape to get a W and by the end of the day games they just needed 6 Ks between Quintana (Ks in previous 4: 2, 7, 7, 11)and Wainwright (Ks in previous 4: 5, 3, 3, 4). WELP they both had a “pitch to contact” fest and recorded 2 Ks apiece, LTBS ESCAPES with a K cat victory 80-79 and further escapes with an undefeated season still intact.
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: These were your two lowest team OBPs of the entire season, the team with the lowest OBP and also the lowest Runs total ends up getting the W… The Banana Slugs are first in the Backyard in Ks but got out-K’s 14-11on Sunday (2 Ks a piece from Quintanaand Wainwright) to absolutely choke it all away… In a week won by ONE K and ONE QS and also ONE W I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the solid totals from the two old fucks in the BackdoorSliderz rotation that had 2 starts apiece (Verlander 14 Ks 1 QS 1 W, Greinke 11 Ks 2 QS 1 W)… Vlad Watch: 2/18, 1 RBI, .238 OBP in Week 5…
Heroy’s Dumb Goddamned Team Sends The Astoria Isotopes Straight To Hell And Also To 0-5 – 9-5-0
MVP: Anthony Rizzo – Retroactively adding the proper stats in here TURNS OUT I PHONED THIS IN AS WELL. 7/18, 3 Rs, 1 2B, 3 HRs, 9 RBIs, 1 SB, .519 OBP
LVP:Robinson Cano – This can’t be the same Robinson Cano the ‘Topes keep dangling in trade talks CAN IT?!?! 2/18, 1 R, 1 2B, .158 OBP
Heroy’s Hitter Of Note: Michael Brantleycuz why not (10/22, 5 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs, .478 OBP).
Heroy’s Pitcher Of Note: Gerrit Cole cuz whoooo cares and also cuz he is v. good (7 IP, 0 ER, 11 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 0.00 ERA).
Isotopes Hitter Of Note: In a season of VERY FEW silver linings, at least Nolan Arenado has been starting to get the power stroke back after a slow start but yea still this isn’t really much of a silver lining *WORKS TWICE* (12/30, 7 Rs, 3 2Bs, 3 HRs, 7 RBIs, .419 OBP).
Isotopes Pitcher Of Note: In a season of VERY FEW silver linings, at least Chris Salehad a bit better of a week but yea still this isn’t really much of a silver lining *WORKS TWICE* (6 IP, 0 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 0.00 ERA).
BBOTW BREAKDOWN
ET TU, GREGGERS?! When the dust settles on the 2019 regular season and the Astoria Isotopes are (probably) watching the Backyard Bracket from home, we must all remember it was Team Heroy that sent them to a seemingly daunting 0-5. And I don’t FEEL LIKE it was particularly close, I didn’t pay a tremendous amount of attention to the chat this weekend but I don’t FEEL LIKE anyone was talking about the ‘Topes avoiding 0-5. Everyone was probably just talking about how the ‘Topes were about to be 0-5. And their PISS POOR PITCHING was to blame (there’s some sort of symbolism to Dallas Keucheljust hanging out there all useless). Cuz on the hitting side the ‘Topes had some pretty stats I gotta say (53 Rs, 25 2Bs, .376 OBP), all three of those were good enough to win their respective #cats and they also took HRs 13-12. So an overall 4-3advantage on hitting alone. But Team Greggers threw up a pretty pretty pitching line: 100 Ks, 8 QS, 1 CG, 7 Ws, 6 Saves, 2.45 ERA. Won every damn one of those cats, didn’t get any Holds but DIDN’T NEED THEM. Kyle Hendricksprovided an efficient CG, Gerrit Cole & Shane Bieber & Tyler Glasnow each had dominant starts, and hey all of a sudden the Fightin’ Greggers look like they have a great pitching staff. Team ‘Topes, on the other hand, has Keuchel sitting there collecting dust. And they ended up with a 4.85 team ERA. And they had to watch Cole Hamelshave a nice 5 IP 7 K start for their opponent. Insult to injury I tell you.
Week 6 has Heroy and his frustrating team name taking on the STABLEST team name in all of the Backyard (and perhaps the least stable chatter), Brian & his Barnegat Banana Slugs. That one could get interesting in the chat folks, TUNE IN (I won’t). As for last year’s runner-up, they are running-out of fuckin’ time here. 0-5 and hosting a TOUGH East Coast Kings squad in what feels like a must win just in the sense that you wanna win eventually (not sure there is must wins in May). Good fuckin’ luck to them, but I’m tired of covering their ineptitude in the BBOTW so we are switching up to covering Doch’s quest for perfection. See ya there.
Four point nine weeks in the books, and this new format is still more time consuming that I can justify SO. I’m tweaking it YET AGAIN (and then probably again again), and to save time I’m not gonna wax poetic too much about Week 4. Two of our three winless teams kept losing, two of our three undefeated lossless teams kept winning not losing, and that was that. If you need more information FINE READ BELOW….
Also it’s gettin kinda sad on the keep making the ‘Topes the BBOTW biz so I might only do that yanno, like one more time.
East Coast Kings Check Mate All Up On Rojo’s Renegade Force I Dunno That’s A Chess Reference I Didn’t Want To Think Too Hard About It – 10-2-2
MVP: Elvis Andrus – One of those guys in the above GIF doesn’t suck. HINT: It’s Elvis. Elvis had been kinda filling in for some MI injuries for the Kings and to his credit has done so admirably, and last week was a nice lil week for him. Congrats to Elvis.9/24, 6 Rs, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 5 RBIs, 1 SB, .483 OBP
LVP:Chris Taylor – Chris Taylor was QUITE GOOD for the Renegade Force last year but had been quite poor for them this year, resulting in a drop from the squad I think mid week here or some such fuckery. 1/9, 2 RBIs, .111 OBP
Key Category: STRIKEOUTS. The Kings won this cat 95-65 and when THAT happens it is probably a safe bet that uhhh, the pitching matchup is gonna be a bit one-sided. And it ’twas, the Kings won it 5-1-1. They also won the hitting cats 5-1-1 but that’s neither here nor there.
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: MAYBE NEXT TIME…
What’s Next (Week 5): ECK v. PBX (2-2 v. 0-3-1)
RRF@ IBB (2-2 @ 3-0-1)
Island Beach Bears Island Beat Down Lakewood Leviathans, Whom’s Fans Now Must Worry About A 2-16 Season (OR MUST THEY) – 9-2-3
MVP: Rhys Hoskins – Just gonna say it is a real relief to the Bears that Rhys is legit and just gonna leave it…..at…..that. 7/24, 4 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 3B, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs, .433 OBP
LVP:CJ Cron – A productive 1-15 is still a 1-15, stop trying to make my job unpaid volunteer position difficult CJ. 1/15, 1 2B, 2 RBIs, .176 OBP
Key Category: RUNS. The Kings Bears won this cat 51-32 and when THAT happens it is probably a safe bet that uhhh, the pitching hitting matchup is gonna be a bit one-sided. And it ’twas, the Kings won it 5-1-1 6-1. They also won the hitting cats 5-1-1 but that’s neither here nor there.
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: MAYBE NEXT TIME…
What’s Next (Week 5): IBB v. RRF (3-0-1 v. 2-2)
LL@ RCBD (2-2 @ 2-1-1)
Heroy’s Dumb Goddamned Team Beat The Pacific Beach X-Rayz – 8-5-1
MVP: Tyler Glasnow – It was narrow cat victories in Ks and Ws for the Heroy-lead team, and Glasnow provided some of both and YEA you may have noticed I’m playing a little fast and loose on these awards but that’s because nobody has been very good. 6.2 IP, 2 ER, 9 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 2.79 ERA
LVP:Ryan Yarbrough– Yarbrough had been putting together some productive little lines for both the Rays and Rayz but then, AS ASTUTELY NOTED by Rayz ownership, the other Rays got too cute and used him one too many times against the same time over the course of like two weeks and it didn’t work out. 4.1 IP, 7 ER, 2 Ks, 14.54 ERA
TRIPLES. Always a shame when you lose the Triples cat despite notching more than one triple, but that’s what happened to the X-Rays as they lost triples 3-2. WORST OF ALL one triple just came from an Alex Verdugo 1-4 day.
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: CHANGE YOUR GODDAMNED TEAM NAME HEROY…
What’s Next (Week 5): HEROY v. ‘Topes (2-2 v. 0-4, BBOTW)
PBX @ ECK (0-3-1 @ 2-2)
Barnegat Banana Slugs Blitzkrieg The River City Bad Dudes GET IT CUZ BRIAN WAS IN GERMANY – 7-5-2
MVP: Trevor Story – Obviously Trevor and I have a COMPLICATED relationship, but also obviously he’s made some necessary changes after that tricky sophomore season. And he JROLL‘d and I don’t think anybody else did in Week 4 so regrettably here we are. 10/25, 8 Rs, 4 2Bs, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 5 RBIs, 1 SB, .464 OBP ***MVP OF THE WEEK***
LVP:AJ Pollock– AJ seemed JUST A WEE BIT off in Week 4 and it turns out his arm is all fucked up and infected or something so now he’s on the IL, and that’s just classssssic AJ Pollock. 3/19, 3 Rs, .200 OBP
JROLLs: Trevor Story (1, BBS)
XBH. This one ended up brutally close on the extra base hits front, as the Slugs would win 2Bs 18-17, 3Bs 3-2, HRs, and 18-17. So unfortunately yea Trevor Story really fucked up Lobman’s week here. Not to be confused with the time that Adalberto Mondesifucked up Lobman’s week which is in the FUTURE.
Assorted Musings Should I Feel Like Musin’: MAYBE NEXT TIME…
What’s Next (Week 5): BBS @ LTBS (1-2-1 @ 4-0)
RCBD v. LL (2-1-1 v. 2-2)
2019 WEEK 4 BACKYARD BATTLE OF THE WEEK, SPONSORED BY “Black bear caught in a hot tub in living its best life in Tennessee”
Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz vs. Astoria Isotopes Goes The Way I Expected It To Go – 8-5-1
MVP: Cody Bellinger – So APPARENTLY this asshole is White Barry Bonds. Apparently. WISH I KNEW, I would have considered asking for another player or four in that Altuve deal. 8/18, 4 Rs, 2 2Bs, 3 HRs, 8 RBIs, 1 SB, .500 OBP
LVP:Mike Tauchman – For some reason the ‘Topes gave 17 ABs to this asshole and damned if I don’t want it immortalized RIGHT UP TOP. 1/17, 1 R, 1 SB, .158 OBP ***LVP OF THE WEEK***
BackdoorSliderz Hitter Of Note: Yepppp Fernando Tatis Jr.had his first JROLL, PERHAPS the first of many for him in his career, WHO KNEW he was going to be up on Opening Day this year lolololololol….o….l Good lord these have been sloppy I highlighted that Tatis JROLL like three times ANYWHO Juan Soto was good this particular week, and clearly I need to start diversifying the team in the BBOTW (8/26, 5 Rs, 3 HRs, 8 RBIs, 2 SBs, .379 OBP).
BackdoorSliderz Pitcher Of Note: Woulda like to have taken these guys down a peg by noting a deGrominjury but he seems to have dodged a bullet so WHATEVER Justin Verlander had a nice start meh MISTAKES WERE MADE, hey look here’s a Zach Eflin streamed CG (9 IP, 1 ER, 3 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1 CG, 1.00 ERA).
Isotopes Hitter Of Note: In a season of VERY FEW silver linings, at least Nolan Arenado has been starting to get the power stroke back after a slow start but yea still this isn’t really much of a silver lining (8/23, 6 Rs, 4 HRs, 6 RBIs, .444 OBP).
Isotopes Pitcher Of Note: In a season of VERY FEW silver linings, at least Chris Salehad a bit better of a week but yea still this isn’t really much of a silver lining (12 IP, 4 ER, 18 Ks, 1 QS, 3.00 ERA).
BBOTW BREAKDOWN
I can likely just break this down by citing the OBP matchup up top, a la one of the reviews above with the totes adorbs cat keys (KEY CAT): The BackdoorSliderz won the OBP cat here .373-.322. And .322 isn’t even a BAD OBP number at all (despite a few terrible performances, shout out to Justin Smoak in his audition to replace the ‘Topes GOAT Miggy Cabrera [Justin went 3 for 21]), and despite the disparity this matchup opened Sunday up as a bit of a toss up. BUT Sunday saw 6 HRs and 11 RBIs from the Sliderz to keep those cats out of reach, they’d go on to take the hitting uhh SECTION 5-2.
Things were a bit more back and forth on the pitching side and that woulda REALLY been where the Isotopes might have been able to squeeze out an upset here. 109 Ks from the ‘Topes is mighty impressive, as is a 3.72 ERA, but the ButtSliderz weren’t far behind at 3.75 and managed to take two cats narrowly (Wins 7-6, Holds 2-1, CGs 1-0). The CG there was an absolute DAGGER, as Doch sold his soul to the Philadelphia Phillies and was rewarded with a SUNDAY Zach Eflin CG shutout. I mean that nearly single-handedly clinched it, when ya think about it, but not quite, but close enough so whatever fuck you.
Week 4 will see the 4-0 BackdoorSliderz taking on sometimes chat foe Brian and the Barnegat Banana Slugs. The Slugs are fresh off their first W of the 2019 season/a German vacation let’s see if they feel invigorated and can HALT THIS WIN STREAK (pretend I’m not writing this on Sunday). The Astoria Isotopes, on the other hand, will take on longtime friend Heroy and his fucking team. This is the BBOTWbecause it has been fun to track the 2018 BCS runner-ups disastrous beginning to 2019, but also we are probably going to stop tracking it after this cuz it is getting kinda sad.
AI is the greatest #3 of all time in any sport ever, that was Week 3. I say it works….
Three weeks in the books, another 15 to go before we bet to #TheBracket. Unfortunately LEAGUE VILLIAN used some Sunday night Braves magic to remain undefeated, the only 3-0 team in the land (Bears and Bad Dudes are at 2-0-1). There’s also only one 0-3 in the land and that is last year’s BCS LOSERS the Astoria Isotopes (X-Rayz and Slugs at 0-2-1). So I mean that’s basically most of the records and stuff, you can either stop reading now or you can read the rest why would I give a shit either way…. WEEK THREE RESULTS DOWN BELOW, Keep On Steppin’ folks….
OH YEA ALSO WHY did I forget that I am s’posed to select the BBOTW ahead of time. We shall get back on track with that one, starting now.
All of the Gallo GIFS are like this…
Rojo’s Renegade Force THROTTLE The Lakehurst Leviathans, Leviathan Fans Urged To Not Get Too Nervous – 11-2-1
MVP: Joey Gallo – Gallo is still (for the most part) striking out a ton but he DID manage a .480 OBP in Week 3 despite only notching one walk so that’s….wild.11/23, 8 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 3B, 4 HRs, 11 RBIs, .480 OBP
LVP:Jack Flaherty – Nobody was really standout shitty on O for the LL’s so we are just going to have to give this to the shittiest pitcher performance. This may be a theme this week, LVPs looked a bit *shrug* on my first pass through. Fret not we shall find a way. 2.2 IP, 5 ER, 4 Ks, 16.88 ERA
Key Performer, For LOSER, to inspire HOPE 🙂 — Here ya go, the only guy to register multiple HRs for the Leviathans was Jonathan Schoop so congrats to Jonathan and his family (7/24, 4 Rs, 2 2Bs, 2 HRs, 5 RBIs, .320 OBP).
Key Fuckup, For VICTOR, to inspire modesty — They may have hit 23 dingers but Chris Taylor hit none of those so SHAMEEEE to Chris and his entire bloodline (2/13, 1 R, .154 OBP).
Key To Matchup: DONGS. The Renegade Force hit a tied-for-the-week-and-season-leading 23 HRs in Week 3. The Leviathans only hit 9. Never wanna be in single digits in the dongs AMIRITE?! So yea the rest of the stat cats that correspond to HRs went about as you’d expect.
What’s Next (Week 4): RRF v. ECK (2-1 v. 1-2)
LLv. IBB (2-1 v. 2-0-1)
River City Bad Dudes Casually Beat Up Astoria Isotopes In A Matchup I Expected More Out Of Quite Frankly, At Least In The Group Chat – 9-4-1
MVP: Bryce Harper – Buncha MEH #s this week, forcing me to write a MEH review. I find a lot of these numbers uninspiring, desperately waiting to get to Christian Yelich or whatever. But Bryce Harper was FINE I guess and Go Phils?8/29, 6 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 HR, 5 RBIs, .382
LVP:Khris Davis – I consider myself a big Khrush guy so this hurts me a bit but C’MON KHRIS, I know you need to keep things in .247 range but don’t have zero HR weeks that’s not right the ‘Topes are DYING OUT HERE. 3/15, 1 RBI, .250 OBP
Key Performer, For LOSER, to inspire HOPE 🙂 — Charlie Blackmonput a little pep in his step for a fuckin’ change and boyyyyy will the ‘Topes need it if they wanna climb out of this lil hole (11/27, 3 Rs, 1 2B, 2 3Bs, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs, .467 OBP).
Key Fuckup, For VICTOR, to inspire modesty — I’m glad somebody rostered Touki Toussaintfor that start cuz I had to roster Matz for that other start, and I’m also glad that somebody was Mike (1.1 IP, 7 ER, 2 Ks, 47.25 ERA).
Key To Matchup: HELL IF I KNOW. This matchup seemed very boring to me. I am bored. It’s possible I just wasn’t really reading the chat as per usual but uhhh, WHERE’S THE PIZZAZZ HERE? Last week of Miguel Cabrera‘s legendary ‘Topes tenure and his line pretty much sums up this entire box score (6/21, 3 Rs, 2 2Bs, 3 RBIs, .304 OBP). THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES MIGGY (Shane you are required to add him).
What’s Next (Week 4): RCBD @ BBS (2-0-1 @ 0-2-1)
‘Topesv. LTBS (0-3 v. 3-0, BBOTW)
East Coast Kings Ride Christian Yelich Past Heroy’s Stupid Team Name And Yea Yelich Hit More HRs Than That Entire Stupid Team So Take That, Stupid Team – 7-6-1
MVP: Christian Yelich – Christian Yelich is a player on the East Coast Kings and NOT a player that is on Heroy’s team. Pay attention as this may come into play later. And it also comes into play right now because I am going to point out that Yelich outhomered the entire squad de la Heroy. He good. 10/24, 9 Rs, 8 HRs, 16 RBIs, .533 OBP ***MVP OF THE WEEK***
LVP:Willy Adames – Thanks for nothing ONCE AGAIN WILLY. 2/12, 1 R, .167 OBP
Key Performer, For LOSER, to inspire HOPE 🙂 — Byron Buxton had six hits in Week 3 but they were all doubles and given Buxton’s entire goddamned CAREER to this point (not counting the 2nd half of ’17) that’s gotta be considering inspiring I s’pose (6/26, 3 Rs, 6 2Bs, 4 RBIs, 1 SB, .286 OBP).
Key Fuckup, For VICTOR, to inspire modesty — Uhhhh I mean I guess Noah Syndergaard was a bit shaky in Week 3, though it’s always good when a pitcher can have two shaky starts and still deliver 14 Ks for the squad (10 IP, 9 ER, 14 Ks, 8.10 ERA).
Key To Matchup: HEROY’S TEAM NOT ACQUIRING CHRISTIAN YELICH. RUMOR HAS IT once upon a time Yelich was offered to Team Heroy as part of a package of players for some other fuckin’ guy, and that package was declined. And so Yelich went out in Week 4 and out-homered Team Heroy in its entirety. Seems like a Key To Matchup if I’ve ever written a Key To Matchup AND I HAVE, like 10 or 11 times in fact.
What’s Next (Week 4): ECK @ RRF(1-2 @ 2-1)
HEROY@ PBX (1-2 @ 0-2-1)
Island Beach Bears And Barnegat Banana Slugs Tie Each Other, I TRULY FEEL IT WAS THE BEST WE COULD DO OKAY The Pitching Was Historically Awful – 6-6-2
(workshoppin’ here)
Whom Prevented Outright Losses: Slugs Starters / Bears Speedsters – THOSE WHO TIE GET NO NAME RECOGNITION. But uh the reason the Slugs avoided a loss would be their SPs (11 QS with only one mixed-eye-colored fuck preventing a record tying week, THE record) and the reason the Bears avoided a loss would be their speedy fellas (key 3B on Saturday, 4 SBs on Sunday).
Whom Prevented Outright Wins:Bears Starters / Jesus Aguilar – Okay we’ll get one name in, and that name comes from the Slugs. For the Bears a REAL PROBLEM was their starting pitching, only 3 SPs made it through the 5th inning one asshole gave up 6 ER without getting a single goddamned out. For the Slugs, Jesus Aguilaris to blame. I declare him back to shitty and it’s only a lil bit cuz of trolling. 2/21, 1 R, .136 OBP ***LVP OF THE WEEK***
What Should The Bears Have Done Differently To Prevent This Disgrace 🙂 — Uhhhhh picked spot starters that weren’t so shitty? Rostered more SPs that weren’t shitty so they would then need less spot starters that could end up being shitty? I dunno man…
What Could The Slugs Have Done Differently To Avoid This Total Embarrassment 🙂 — Uhhh dropped Aguilar? Coached up Ender Inciarte so he would have gotten more involved in the Braves Sunday Night Hit Parade? I dunno man…
(I dunno why I am acting so disgusted with ties but (at least for this week) I AM SO DISGUSTED WITH TIES, no Keys To Matchup those are for winners)
What’s Next (Week 4): IBB @ LL (2-0-1 @ 2-1)
BBSv. RCBD (0-2-1 v. 2-0-1)
2019 WEEK 3 BACKYARD BATTLE OF THE WEEK, SPONSORED BY A POLAR BEAR THAT GOT A CT SCAN AND A HANDJOB SEMEN EXTRACTION VIA NON-HANDJOBBY PROCEDURE.…
Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz Snatch Victory From The Jaws Of Defeat Via Sunday Night Braves Bats, Stun The Pacific Beach X-Rayz – 6-5-3
MVP: Freddie Freeman – Freddie had a fine week and remains far better than Trevor Rosenthaland whatnot but really this one’s about the 2 Rs, 2 RBIs, and .800 OBP that he put together on Easter’s FATEFUL (for this meaningless Week 3 matchup, all other matchups and everything else in the universe also meaningless) night game. 6/24, 5 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 HR, 5 RBIs, .357 OBP
LVP:DJ LeMahieu – A lot had to fall apart for the X-Rays to lose this lead, mostly relating to the Indians serving up BATTING PRACTICE for the Braves on Sunday Night Baseball, but when it was all said and done the X-Rays lost OBP .354 to .353 and DJ went 0-8 so fuck you DJ. 0-8, .000 OBP
JROLLs: Fernando Tatis Jr. (1, LTBS)
BackdoorSliderz Hitter Of Note: Yepppp Fernando Tatis Jr. had his first JROLL, PERHAPS the first of many for him in his career, WHO KNEW he was going to be up on Opening Day this year lolololololol….o….l (8/23, 3 Rs, 1 2B, 1 3B, 1 HR, 2 RBIs, 3 SBs, .400 OBP).
BackdoorSliderz Pitcher Of Note: Woulda like to have taken these guys down a peg by noting a deGrominjury but he seems to have dodged a bullet so WHATEVER Justin Verlander had a nice start meh (7 IP, 1 ER, 8 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.29 ERA).
X-Rays Hitter Of Note: The X-Rayz continue to PLAY THE WIRE with a lot of the bats and they played the right card with Joc Pederson in Week 3 but yanno, he can’t hit lefties and he isn’t on their roster anymore and whatnot (8/23, 6 Rs, 4 HRs, 6 RBIs, .444 OBP).
X-Rays Pitcher Of Note: Andddd they also pushed the right button on a Mike Minor streamed CG shutout SOMEHOW(9 IP, 0 ER, 7 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1 CG, 0.00 ERA).
BBOTW BREAKDOWN
OOF, Sunday Night Heartbreak strikes again in the Backyard and this time it’s the PB X-Rays left wondering just what…..went….wrong. What went wrong was Shane Bieber and the rest of the Indians were throwing bags of dicks across the plate on Sunday night but he isn’t on either roster so let’s discuss some guys who are.
The Rays were mostly cruising throughout the week but OH there were warning signs. Namely one: a bullshit rain-shortened game CG by Jameson Tailon(5 IP, 1 ER, 3 Ks, 1 W, 1 CG) on Saturday that erased the Minor CG referenced above. That put the Douchney (his words, can’t believe I never thought of it) and the defending champeens within striking distance heading into Easter Sunday, and the Rays were able to maintain that distance (shout to Joc and his 3 Rs 2 HRs) alllll the way up until Sunday Night Baseball. And that’s when it fell apart: the BackdoorSliderz’ 3 Braves (Freeman, Albies, Acuna) delivered 4 Rs 4 RBIs and justttt enough OBP, the X-Rayz typical MVP (J-Ram) continued his atypically USELESS season, and when the smoke settled the champs had escaped via a +2 win in Runs, +1 win in RBIs, and +.001 win in OBP. Keeps Lacey undefeated keeps Pacific Beach winless. RATHER UNFORTUNATE IF YOU ASK THIS “BLOGGER”…
Week 4 will see the 3-0 defending champs in a BCS rematch with the 0-3 Astoria Isotopes, perhaps seeking to put a proverbial nail in Mikey T’s alarmingly light proverbial coffin. This is our first OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCED BBOTWof 2019, not because I think it will be competitive more because it’s the BCS rematch and the ‘Topes are staring an 0-4 start dead in the face. Elsewhere the Pacific Beach X-Rayz will try and shake off the heartbreaker when they take on whatever dumb fucking name Heroy goes with.
WEEK TWOOOOOO. In the books. On the negative side of things I’m already reminded how much I hate April. Everyone discussing players performances both good and bad when I just wanna wait for like 100 goddamned at bats or 50 goddamned innings before we all start going nuts (even then it will be unfortunate). But HEY I’m handing out MVPs and LVPs based on weekly samples so I am no hero. And on the positive side of things look how gotdamned adorable that little sign language girl is above? She’s lovely. And the bullshit she’s referring to are April #s. LETS DIG INTO SOME APRIL NUMBERS…
HEROY And His Dumb Goddamned Team Names Absolutely Mollywhop Cliff’s Rojo’s Renegade Force – 10-1-3
MVP: Austin Meadows – I absolutely KNEW Meadows was gonna pwn for the Rays this year so I should have tried to acquire him in the offseason because Heroy probably didn’t know like I knew. So yea, I am declaring his hot start for real and quality data worth pointing out, but his and only his. 12/22, 6 Rs, 2 2Bs, 4 HRs, 12 RBIs, .630 OBP (THAT FEELS REALLY HIGH) ***MVP OF THE WEEK***
LVP:Rojo – Nine starts in a win and I confuse you with Ryan. Nine starts in a loss and I confuse you with Cliff. DO BETTER. JUST DO BETTER OKAY
Key Performer, For LOSER, to inspire HOPE 🙂 — I R L Marcell Ozuna made an absolute ass of himself going for that off the wall spring back catch thing but I F W (In Fantasy World) he had 4 dongs and that’s nice for him and for RRF (7/19, 5 Rs, 2 2Bs, 4 HRs, 8 RBIs, 1 SB, .400 OBP).
Key Fuckup, For VICTOR, to inspire modesty — I dunno the entire team with its dumb fucking name had a real fine week so maybe it’s rude of me to harp on Rojo’s FAILURES but this part is about a Heroy guy’s failures so uhhh, Luris Uriasisn’t the next Altuve I lied (1/11, 1 2B, .091 OBP).
Key To Matchup: TAKE YOUR PICK. The Heroy squad took 5 cats on both sides of the ball, I guess they more THOROUGHLY outpitched the RRF (with 10 starts to the Force’s 9) but they also managed like 15 more RBIs despite equal HRs so yanno. Sometimes that’s how the ball bounces and you think the ball is going over the fence so you try and jump off the wall but then it is falling short of the fence so you try to spring off the wall to catch it and in the end you’re just lucky you didn’t break your face.
What’s Next (Week 3): HEROY @ ECK (1-1 @ 0-2)
RRF@ LL (1-1 @ 2-0)
Lakehurst Leviathans TWO AND ZERO ONCE AGAIN, Barnegat Banana Slugs ZERO AND TWO Which Is Also Fun I Guess – 6-3-5 (weird score ya weirdos)
MVP: Mitch Haniger – FIRSTLY DO NOT LOOK AT THE GIF SCROLL PAST THE GIF. Particularly if you are Rojo, worried I’m gonna kill Rojo. Secondly HEY nice work Mitch, your Leviathans lapped the Slugs in Runs by like 21 and you contributed 9 of those so take a bow ya fuck (HOW BOUT THAT Ms O).9/27, 9 Rs, 3 2Bs, 1 3B, 3 HRs, 7 RBIs, .345 OBP
LVP:Ender Inciarte– ENDER, BUT I HARDLY EVEN KNOW HER?! sorry. 2/17, 1 SB, .167 OBP
Key Performer, For LOSER, to inspire HOPE 🙂 — Hey I mean Eddie Rosario did just fine (7/16, 4 Rs, 2 2Bs, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs, .471 OBP).
Key Fuckup, For VICTOR, to inspire modesty — Shane’s inaugural season should inspire the modesty here but SHOULD THAT FAIL uhhh I dunno Michael Wachagot lit up I guess and he’s a Leviathan regular and also his ERA can remind Shane of his last two seasons so yea (3.2 IP, 7 ER, 3 Ks, 17.18 ERA).
Key To Matchup: BATS. The Leviathans won 5 hitting categories and tied the two they couldn’t win (3Bs and HRs) and that was 5 of your 6 cat wins right there. I dunno I think it’s a nice ADVANTAGE when you have a catcher that can hit like Yasmani Grandal (.600 OBP, 5 Rs, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs) can, he’s currently the #1 rated catcher in our league I think I traded him to Shane for Dan VogelbachWHOM IS ALSO GOOD NOW. But yea Leviathans nice offensive week, Slugs O was a wee flat for the 2nd week in a row (33 Rs, fewest in league once again). COST EM.
What’s Next (Week 3): LL v. RRF (2-0 v. 1-1)
BBS@ IBB (0-2 @ 2-0)
Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz T….. (wait I’m not supposed to discuss this matchup and I’m going to take the opportunity not to because lazy) – 7-5-2
JROLLs:Ronald Acuna Jr. (1, LTBS) ; Elvis Andrus (1, ECK) (JROLLs ENDURE)
Island Beach Bears Squeak Past Astoria Isotopes Via Slightly Less Shitty ERA – 7-6-1
MVP: Jose Altuve – I think it’s RATHER FUCKING RUDE how Altuve was clearly dealing with injuries all year last year (he had a lil HBP on the top of the foot that seemed to cause some issues even before the knee) and yet folks this offseason acted like he was totally finished. I AM SURE he remains plenty good. Will have to see where the SBs end up at end of year and I have other concerns BUT it’s April and therefore I will both ignore those and not ignore the HRs and say he’s still the best 2B in fantasy folks. 10/25, 8 Rs, 6 HRs, 10 RBIs, .407 OBP
LVP:Kyle Freeland – Really wanted to give this to Sale but Freeland gave up a run an inning over TWO starts and provided no QS or Ws and I DUNNO this is an inexact science. The Bears won by giving up 48 ER in 75 innings and the ‘Topes lost by giving up 49 in 75.2 so TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY FOR THAT KYLE. 10 IP, 10 ER, 8 Ks, 9.00 ERA ***LVP OF THE WEEK***
Key Performer, For LOSER, to inspire HOPE 🙂 — My main man Khris Davis aka Khrush Davis did his best (9/27, 6 Rs, 1 2B, 5 HRs, 10 RBIs, .333 OBP).
Key Fuckup, For VICTOR, to inspire modesty — Eat a dick Adrian SampsonI DIDN’T WANT YOU (4 IP, 7 ER, 4 Ks, 15.75 ERA).
Key To Matchup: SUNDAY. I mean I did in fact have the most dongs/RBIs in Week 2 and we DID have a pretty solid lead going prior to the weekend but that allll started evaporating, and it was a coin flip on Sunday. And had I lost I would be blaming the Angels rainout that forced the Bears to stream Adrian Fucking Sampson but I WON and that’s because despite Sampson’s Stinker and German Marquez‘ Sunday CG gem we were able to hold onto a slim and hideous ERA victory (5.76 over 5.83).
What’s Next (Week 3): IBB v. BBS (2-0 v. 0-2)
‘Topes@ Bad Dudes (0-2 @ 1-0-1)
2019 WEEK 2 BACKYARD BATTLE OF THE WEEK, SPONSORED BY THIS VERY TASTEFUL VERY SENSUAL VERY SEXY BEARS ALTERNATE LOGO.…
River City Bad Dudes & Pacific Beach X-Rayz Kiss Their Sisters And I Know I’ve Kissed One Of Them And I Assume Like Rojo Or Someone Has Kissed The Other – 6-6-2
(It’s occurring to me this format somewhat withers (and always has) under a tie scenario so SINCE this is a BBOTW tie let’s do it this way, but I may figure out a way to address ties next time or hell I may not who gives a shit…)
MVP: Julio Teheran – I mean PLENTY of things happened in this matchup I’m sure, as does all matchups, but a thing on Sunday that grabbed the Bad Dudes a tie was suck-ass Teheran throwing a QS so CONGRATS TO YOU JULIO! 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.50 ERA
LVP:Jose Ramirez – The X-Rayz did perfectly fine on the batting cats (won 4 outta 7) but still need to point out Jose Ramirez what the fuck are you DOING this season? You’ve been terrible, Jose. 2/26 IP, 1 R, 1 2B, .111 OBP
Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note: Jose Abreuboth kinda sucked and also stole two bases and kinda didn’t, GO FIGURE (2/22, 2 Rs, 1 2B, 1 RBI, 2 SBs, .160 OBP).
Bad Dudes Pitcher Of Note: Carlos Rodon was shit in one start and good in another and even in the shit start he struck out 9 and the Bad Dudes won Ks by 2 so this was important he is of note (10.2 IP, 6 ER, 14 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 5.06 ERA).
X-Rayz Hitter Of Note: 50 total RBIs is a damned fine RBI total and Dansby Swansonsomehow contributed NINE of them on FOUR hits, I cannot figure out the math there (4/20, 2 Rs, 1 3B, 1 HR, 9 RBIs, 1 SB, .261 OBP).
X-Rayz Pitcher Of Note: Blake Snell is the reason the Dudes needed every one of those Rodon Ks, Blake Snell is good(12 IP, 1 ER, 20 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 0.75 ERA).
BBOTW BREAKDOWN
THIS ONE WAS REALLY CLOSE. Which is what I can always get away with saying in a tie I guess, so I am saying it here. X-Rayz took the hitting cats 4-3 (+1 Rs, +4 RBIs) while the Dudes took the pitching cats 3-2-2 (+2 Ks, +1 Save, +2 Ws) but justtttt failed to get there in ERA (X-Rayz take it 3.83 to 3.89). Both teams QS’d in precisely half their starts, the X-Rayz utilized their “very few bats worth keeping” strategy to grab like 47 more ABs than their opponent, and WHEN THE DUST SETTLED we have a tie. What more can I say here really? Uhhh Josh Jamesdid the Dudes a real disservice by giving up 4 ER without getting an out. I will say…..that.
Week 3 will see the Bad Dudes hosting the Astoria ‘Topes in that ALWAYS ENTERTAINING matchup, expect some light banter this weekend folks. As for the X-Rayz they are taking on the defending champs and they haven’t lost yet this season and WHO CAN BE SURE if I can say more right now or if I will say more next week (I probably will I was just being lazy this particular time).
What’s Next (Week 3): Dudes v. ‘Topes (1-0-1 v. 0-2)
X-Rayz@ LTBS (0-1-1 @ 2-0)
This concludes Week Two Review. Thank you for tuning in for Week Two Review, be sure to privately message me my fuckups OR allude to them in the chat with some really dogshit attempt at “humor” (HEROY) OR ignore them and move on with your lives and I will notice them some other time and quietly update this post. Lotta options. Week 3 of 18 (and then the BYB), GOD FANTASY BASEBALL TAKES FOREVS……
TWENTY-NINETEEEEEEEEN. On the positive side of things we are perhaps a mere twenty-something weeks from @Doch no longer being champion. That’s positive. On the unfortunate side of things I will need to crank out yanno AT LEAST one of these before tossing in the towel, and WordPress has this really annoying new format that I don’t feel like figuring out right now, and so on and so forth. LET’S SEE IF WE CAN’T STREAMLINE A BIT MORE HUH (I do not give a shit about your key pitching performances)?
Island Beach Bears (YOU HEARD ME) Reluctantly Beat Pacific Beach X-Rayz Because They Respect Them Too Much Not To Try To Do Just That – 10-2-2
MVP: Rhys Hoskins – Bears Ownership (me) was on hand for two separate Phillies games in the extended Week 1, and Rhys dinged dongs in both, but ownership didn’t actually catch either dong with their own eyeballs. Who can pay attention at these goddamned things.9/26, 8 Rs, 2 2Bs, 3 HRs, 13 RBIs, .514 OBP
LVP:Kole Calhoun– The whole streaming bats thing may challenge THIS BLOG all year as I’m unsure how many ABs one must log in a week (in an extended week in this case) in order to be called out for sucking. Surely it will cause this many problems or more for the franchises attempting it. But yea fuck it I’ll give it to Calhoun dong be damned. 2/19, 1 R, 1 HR, 2 RBI, .150 OBP
JROLLs:Jonathan Villar (1, IBB) ; Kolten Wong (1, PLX)
Key Performer, For LOSER, to inspire HOPE 🙂 — We are going to try and UPLIFT in 2019, not all doom and gloom when you lose a matchup (for example, none of this [or anything] really matters). So with that in mind let’s start that off by noting not all doom and gloom for the X-Rayz either. Chris Archerlooked pretty solid across two starts for the ‘Rayz (not sure that works), which would be a welcome sight for PB after an up and down 2018 that culminated in a 4.31 ERA (6.61 Mar/April, 2.33 May, 6.45 Aug., 2.70 Sept./Oct.) (11 IP, 3 ER, 13 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 2.45 ERA).
Key Fuckup, For VICTOR, to inspire modesty — Garret Hampson came out and just plain suckedddddd, pre-season hype (written by me BUT ALSO BY OTHERS) be damned (0/14, .000 OBP).
Key To Matchup: LATE MATCHUP DONGS/SOLID PITCHING. The Bears offense started out slowly but 12 HRs over the last 3 days, aided by 3 in one game from Gary Sanchez (6 total), helped them run away with things in the Rs and HRs (and I guess OBP) cats (puns about Runs and how the X-Rayz run a lot very much intended). Also the Bears won the pitching cats 6-0-1.
What’s Next (Week 2): Bears @ ‘Topes (1-0 @ 0-1),
X*Rayz v. Bad Dudes (0-1 v. 1-0)
Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz Begin A Quest For The Ever Elusive Back To Back Chips With Easy Defeat Of Whatever Dumb Fucking Name Heroy’s Team Chose To Go By – 8-4-2
MVP: Cody Bellinger – Jesus fuckin’ Christmas Cody Bellinger. Not a great start to the first full year of Life Without Cody, even though I never owned him a full year. But this isn’t about me. But yea FOR FUCKS SAKE MAN hot start/likely 2019’s most ridiculous JROLL, small nod to the extended week but impressive nonetheless.20/44, 17 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 3B, 7 HRs, 18 RBIs, 1 RBI .514 OBP, 1 JROLL ***MVP OF THE WEEK***
LVP:Willy Adames– Not the hottest of starts for Willy, a player this team has NO DOUBT vastly overrated if anyone’s asked about him in trade talks. Not that I really suspect anyone’s asked about him in trade talks. I swear I am not implying I did I DIDN’T. 1/20, .050 OBP ***LVP OF THE WEEK***
JROLLs:Cody Bellinger (1, LTBS)
Key Performer, For LOSER, to inspire HOPE 🙂 — Look I know this is supposed to be #uplifting the losers but I don’t want to sugarcoat this one, as this is something I’ve already expressed in person: GREG YOU AREN’T WITTY ENOUGH TO KEEP CHANGING TEAM NAMES BASED ON MATCHUPS. Lets just not, there, shall we. Also Butt Pirates offends me as a man that wishes he was gay. Also it offends Mikey T. ANYWAYZ Mike Troutremains really good so uh sigh of relief there I guess, perhaps go back to a Trout-based team name for the good of us all (11/28, 6 Rs, 2 2Bs, 5 HRs, 12 RBIs, 1 SB, .581 OBP).
Key Fuckup, For VICTOR, to inspire modesty — Uhh I dunno Walker Buehlerlooked fairly pedestrian across two starts, take THAT Doch (8 IP, 6 ER, 4 Ks, 1 W 6.75 ERA).
Key To Matchup: BATS. The BDSliderz O was reallllly humming (.387 team OBP) behind Belly and like Domingo Santana (4 HRs, 15 RBIs, 3 SBs) and shit, which ya just hate to see. Really no main contributor had a week I could have thrown in the Fuckup category up there. Heroy’s team/ownership on the other hand FULL of fuckups like Adames and Dozier (2/25) and Eloy Jimenez (0/18) and Heroy (fill this in however you’d like).
What’s Next (Week 2): LTBS v. Kings (1-0 v. 0-1),
HEROY @ RRF (0-1 @ 1-0)
Rojo’s Renegade Force SALT THE SLUGS FORREAL THEY USED CHARLIE MORTON AGAINST THE BARNEGAT BANANA SLUGS AND EMERGED VICTORIOUS – 7-5-2
MVP: Charlie Morton Joey Gallo – Not only did Joey Gallo do his usual thing of drawing walks and hitting dongs and stuff, he also grabbed a teammate’s dong in an outright rejection of Heroy’s hateful team names (see above). And maybe Doch’s. Haven’t decided if I’m going to call Doch a homophobe this season or not (no I probably am). #LoveIsLove. 6/25, 8 Rs, 1 2B, 3 HRs, 9 RBIs, .441 OBP
LVP:Ramon Laureano – For those keeping in track that’s uhhh AT LEAST 0 for 2 on guys I highlighted in team previews that came out and S’d a D. Yanno not that there is anything wrong with that. 2/17, .118 OBP
Key Performer, For LOSER, to inspire HOPE 🙂 — Not all doom and gloom for the Banana Slugs (definitely some doom and gloom) as Whit Merrifieldcontinues to look EVERY BIT a guy that’s better than Starling Marte that didn’t need to have the best prospect in baseball tossed in with him in order to faciliate a trade for said Starling Marte (fuck you Shane) (11/34, 9 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 3B, 1 HR, 4 RBIs, 3 SBs, .361 OBP, 1 JROLL).
Key Fuckup, For VICTOR, to inspire modesty — Honestly this is a pretty productive 1/20 and Rojo will definitely not keep a catcher for any considerable length of time but he still gave Yadi 20 ABs and he only got a hit in one of em so YEA Yadier Molina(1/20, 1 R, 1 2B, 1 RBI, .174 OBP).
Key To Matchup: BANANA SLUG BAT INEPTITUDE. Not even gonna break this bad boy down to the individual level but the facts in this case remain and those facts are: 58 Runs, 14 2Bs, 10 HRs, 49 RBIs, .302 OBP. Those were the team numbers for the Slugz batz and all were worst in the Backyard in Week One (Runs they tied with Ocean Gate). And yea, the Renegade Force was better than that and stuff so they won and stuff.
What’s Next (Week 2): RRF v. HEROY (1-0 v. 0-1),
BBS v. LL (0-1 v. 1-0)
River City Bad Dudes Outlast East Coast Kings Because Their Pitching Was Bad, Dude (i am so sorry) – 7-5-2
MVP: Pete Alonso – Nice lil debut for this guy, and no I’m not putting him up here because Lobman told me to boost his trade value or something. He just hit a lot of doubles and the Bad Dudes won doubles, is all.13/34, 6 Rs, 6 2Bs, 3 HRs, 11 RBIs, .432 OBP
LVP:Eduardo Rodriguez – I’ll shit on a Red Sawk any chance I get and that’s one thing people might not know about me (no they know), so fuck Eduardo Rodriguez and fuck Ben Affleck and fuck the Patriots and fuck “by CHLOE. Fenway” and fuck Bill Simmons and fuck Barstool and fuck you (I’ve left out Matt Damon here and that is deliberate, the Bourne franchise [not counting the Jeremy Renner one {and probably the last one}] is a treasure). 8 IP, 11 ER, 7 Ks, 12.38 ERA
Key Performer, For LOSER, to inspire HOPE 🙂 — Welp Christian Yelichis off to a pretty good start if he’s aiming to do the whole “Improve Upon MVP Season” thing (13/36, 11 Rs, 4 2Bs, 5 HRs, 13 RBIs, 1 SB, .489 OBP).
Key Fuckup, For VICTOR, to inspire modesty — Welp Giancarlo Stantonis back to being a (sometimes freak) injury-prone piece of GARBAGE, expect setbacks Dudes fan(s) (2/8, 1 R, .600 OBP).
Key To Matchup: DISAPPOINTING ACES. I could talk about the Dudes but they talk about themselves enough. The KINGS however, let’s discuss them. Offense actually looked pretty good in the extended week buttttt piss poor starts from alotta #1s or former #1s. Watching Kershaw fade here is like watching someone pass from bone cancer so HE WAS OUT, Paxtonwas meh Carrasco sub-meh Syndergaard MEH. All three racked up a lot of Ks but to the credit of the Bad Dudes they needed to do more than that and they failed to. Berrios looked great though (20.2 IP, 5 ER, 21 Ks, 3 QS, 1 W, 2.18 ERA).
What’s Next (Week 2): Bad Dudes @ X-Rayz (1-0 @ 0-1),
ECK @ LTBS (0-1 @ 1-0)
2019 WEEK 1 BACKYARD BATTLE OF THE WEEK, SPONSORED BY THE BLACK BEAR THAT KILLED SOME “FAMILY HORSE” IN MASSACHUSETTS.…
(this would work better if the Bears were in the BBOTW and if some other team that I defeated had some sort of horse-based team name but ALAS that ain’t life)
Lakehurst Leviathans Reach Twenty Percent Of Their Previous All Time Win Total With Victory Over Last Year’s First Loser, The Astoria Isotopes – 7-6-1
MVP: Adalberto Mondesi – OH ADALBERTO, polarizing figure in the fantasy world. The guy barely got on base in Week One but JROLL‘d anyway and if that’s what he can do with a sub-.300 OBP he should serve the Leviathans just fine. Finer than Carlos Martinez would AMIRITE?! 9/34, 5 Rs, 2 2Bs, 3 3Bs, 1 HR, 5 RBIs, 1 SB, .265 OBP, 1 JROLL
LVP:Chris Sale – Fuck it let’s hammer a Sawks pitcher once again. Chris Sale the ‘Topes expected MORE from you, and it really wouldn’t have taken much more (they lost ERA 4.85 to 4.75) so shame on you and fuck you I hope you suck all year 🙂 . 9 IP, 8 ER, 5 Ks, 1 QS, 8.00 ERA
JROLLs: Adalberto Mondesi (1, LL)
Leviathans Hitter Of Note: OH YEA JD Martinez is still here, can’t forget about that guy he can hit a baseball a bit MOST UNFORTUNATELY (14/42, 5 Rs, 3 HRs, 8 RBIs, .404 OBP).
Leviathans Pitcher Of Note: GOOD LORD Matthew Boyd what a start sir, I was going to call him “young man” but don’t care enough to look up how old he is ANYONE’S GUESS (6.1 IP, 1 ER, 13 Ks, 1 QS, 1.42 ERA).
Isotopes Hitter Of Note: Can basically repeat whatever I said for JD up there for my main man Khris Davis, the battle for the best K(C)hris Davis is SO over (10/46, 6 Rs, 5 HRs, 10 RBIs, .300 OBP).
Isotopes Pitcher Of Note: Both ‘Topes Rox SP looked good but let’s shout out to German Marquez for earnin’ that $ FOR NOW(13 IP, 1 ER, 14 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 0.69 ERA).
BBOTW BREAKDOWN
What can I sayyyyy really, this was a tight battle that came down to Sunday night which we really love here at THA BLAWG cuz yanno that makes for an easy BBOTW pick. I’m sure a buncha shit happened before Sunday Night Baseball but BY THEN the ‘Topes were seeking runs from Nolan Arenado and Charlie Blackmon and they got one from each but that wasn’t enough NOW WAS IT. A triple would also have done. I dunno I’m sure other stuff happened, Ks and QS and ERA were all fairly close on the other side of the ball but IN THE END the team that never wins many games won a matchup against the team that was in the BCS last season. HOW BOUT THEM APPLES. I’ve learned better since the previously named outfit started out 2-0 that one time only to not. win. another. matchup. that. entire. season. So yea NOTHING TO SEE HERE ON TO WEEK TWO….
Week 2 will see this thus far unremarkable Lakehurst franchise taking on the Barnegat franchise, FAMILY FOES. Meanwhile the Isotopes will find themselves looking to avoid 0-2 against yours truly, spoiler alert I intend to send them to 0-2. THE BACKYARD FOLKS.
What’s Next (Week 2): LL @ BBS (1-0 @ 0-1),
‘Topes v. Bears (0-1 v. 1-0)
This concludes Week One Review. Thank you for tuning to Week One Review, be sure to hit subscribe and follow my “insta” and this review was a nightmare so I reserve the right to adjust this ENTIRELY next time. Once I’m done sending angry emails to WordPress people or whatevs. Whatever. Suck it nerdz.
Since I’m “not allowed” to use the Doch pic (nor do I have any intention of ever looking at it again) this will have to do. Pretty similar tbh
Oh dear God what have I done. ME specifically, whom is probably most responsible for the Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz ending up our 2018 champeens. Far more responsible than their owner, that’s pretty much a definite. I spent all offseason and some of the season arming this franchise with talent for the foreseeable future and now they won the championship and now Doch will likely be insufferable. That is the bad news. The GOOD NEWS is I waited a long time to write this review and it won’t be nearly as detailed as last year’s review and I hope that eats at Doch the same way Doch eats at everything. Saddens Doch the same way he is saddened by Caffrey’s burning down (just one more Lacey burnout really).
Look I think it is no secret that I often just do reviews as a template off of preview reviews. To the point that some reviews probably have stats from previous reviews tucked in em, LIL EASTER EGGS if you will. I can assure you this will not be a template of last year’s BCS review, however, because I did not pay any attention to this year’s BCS and paid all the attention to last year’s because it was Odom vs. Lobman.In conclusion this intro had really nothing to do with the Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz. Congrats to them. But also fuck them. And fuck Caffrey’s.
Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz Complete A Complete Postseason Performance, Defeat The Top-Seeded (First Time That Has Ever Happened In The BCS Way To Go You Failures) Astoria Isotopes – 10-3-1
MVP: Alex Bregman – YEA YEA YEA Acuna Jr. was the best player of the entire postseason run or yada yada but Alex Bregman was the best hitter in the BCS and that is what we do here. We award the best player in the particular series. 12/27, 6 Rs, 3 2Bs, 13 HRs, 9 RBIs, .500 OBP
LVP:Nolan Arenado– SAD. Sad for me to do this to Nolan. But even his late attempts to salvage some respectability can’t erase the fact that he started out 0-18 in this series. NO CLUTCH. Nolan Gorman will be the better Nolan within three years. 3/25, 2 Rs, 1 2B, 2 RBIs, .148 OBP
BackdoorSliderZ Hitter Of Note:Juan Soto was the second best hitter in this series and this doesn’t at all mean that Acuna Jr. wasn’t excellent as well and all of this should annoy all of us what happened here (11/23, 3 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 HR, 6 RBIs, .538 OBP).
BackdoorSliderZ Pitcher Of Note: Death, taxes, and Jacob deGrom having an excellent start for the ButtSliderZ with the Mets failing to get him a W (8 IP, 1 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1.13 ERA).
Isotopes Hitter Of Note: Almost nobody on the Isotopes seemed all that interested in winning this particular championship but I want to shout out Miguel Andujar he seemed like he was trying, EVEN DREW SOME WALKS (7/26, 7 Rs, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs, .345 OBP).
Isotopes Pitcher Of Note: I guess I have to point out German Marquezbecause even though this was against the suck-ass Padres it was impressive and now the ‘Topes will probably keep him into next season but also start him at Coors (5.50 ERA) because they lack a discerning fantasy eye (8 IP, 2 ER, 13 Ks, 1 QS, 2.25 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: FIRSTLY before I even get into an attempt to break this one down let me just say, fine fucking work by both participants/the commish in their media days. For the first time maybe ever I was kinda sad I don’t have instagram because I too would have liked to shit talk the father of Mikey T. But yea great job everyone involved, way to really STEER US into the social media revolution Odom. Maybe I will start Tindering.
ON TO THE MATCHUP………….. This felt less in doubt then it actually was, a bit of a wire to wire performance by the BackdoorSliderz but CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF as Sunday opened it was still there for the taking for the ‘Topes. Unfortunately the big bats of the Isotopes all kinda shrunk simultaneously and the pitching didn’t do enough and I am still not talking about the BackdoorSliderz much THEY WERE FINE. 6-1 cat advantage on the hitting side with mostly ho-hum numbers (.3705 OBP and 19 2Bs play just about anywhere I will concede that) and a 4-2-1 advantage on the pitching side en route to a tidy 10-3-1 championship victory. A CARAYYYYZAY SIX bullpen victories for the Lacey folk to really demoralize an Isotopes squad that pitched okay at times (7 QS) but just okay (4.008 ERA). German Marquezwas masterful in his start for the ‘Topes I will have to concede that. But Walker Buehlerwas masterful pretty much all postseason for Lacey, he is yet another really good really young player they have TROUBLING SIGN.
In the end, it is a good thing that it is ridiculously hard to win back to back titles in this league. Nigh impossible now. So there’s solace in that.
WHAT IS NEXT FOR THE LEAGUE
iiiiii don’t fucking know. Probably more social media hullaballoo. At least I’m probably done changing team names, Brian will be pleased.
MUCH like this monkey, I am mostly depleted with these motherfucking reviews. FORTUNATELY the commish has done a fantastic job with the BCS Media Guide and Media Day and such so I don’t feel too strong of a need to get all crazy with the BCS Previews and such. I shouldn’t feel too strong a need to do any of this shit, but that is between me and the therapist I don’t have but perhaps need. FOR NOW let us review the failures of two teams contrasted with the non-failures (for now) of the other two teams…..
Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz STAY HOT At Precisely The Time You Want To Be Hot, Take Down Second Seeded Garden State Warriors (AKA ….. …….) – 10-2-2
MVP: Gregory Polanco – Just a real balanced effort from the BackdoorSliderz in Round 2, and when that happens you end up in a weird limbo and before you know it Gregory Polanco is your MVP due to a ROUND TWO JROLL. Which I respect. Props to G-Po. 9/23, 5 Rs, 2 2B, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 5 RBIs, 1 SB, .483 OBP
LVP:JT Realmuto– In this round we highlight the failures of the losers (and in the LVP section we always do that so seems redundant to even point it out), and despite your two steals from the C position you were a bit of a failure JT. Just a bit. 1/18, 1 R, 1 RBI, 2 SBs, .217 OBP
BackdoorSliderz Hitter Of Note: Probably need to highlight Ronald Acuna Jr. who CONTINUES to hit the ball very very well, although he fell off Rhys‘ historic pace from last season’s X*Rayz title run by which all other rookie playoff performances shall still be measured SEE BELOW after the stats(8/28, 2 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 2 RBIs, 1 SB, .394 OBP):
Acuna Jr. Rounds 1-2: .475ish OBP, 18 Rs, 3 2Bs, 6 HRs, 11 RBIs, 4 SBs
BackdoorSliderz Pitcher Of Note: Anddd now back to the present day, where Jameson Tailon displayed a ball of steel in his fine Round 2 performance in a tricky road matchup with the Brew Crew (6 IP, 1 ER, 8 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.50 ERA).
Warriors (……..) Hitter Of Note: ELSEWHERE in disappointing hitter news, the Warriors would have needed a far stronger week outta Francisco Lindor if they wanted to cool down the Sliderz (6/32, 4 Rs, 1 2B, 2 RBIs, .217 OBP).
Warriors (……….) Pitcher Of Note: ELSEWHERE in disappointing Indians players performances, Carlos Carrasco boned things up (on the road @ Fenway in his defense) when he was needed most (3.2 IP, 5 ER, 6 Ks, 12.27 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: WHAT CAN YA SAY, the Backyard Playoffs are all about getting hot at the right time and the BackdoorSliderz be h-o-t. Acuna Jr. didn’t QUITE maintain his insane pace from Round 1 but he has remained uhhh productive as one might say, and the BackdoorSliderz followed a Round 1 SHUTOUT with a Round 2 balanced performance that saw them pitching to a sub 2 ERA and 99 Ks and all that good stuff. The Warriors, on the other hand, founded on their pitching but dealing with injuries all season long, pitched to an ERA ’round 4. Throw in a few uninspired hitting performances on the Warriors side and you have a 5-1-1 advantage on each side of the coin for Lacey, leading to their overall 10-2-2 victory. GREAT overall numbers on the pitching side for the BackdoorSliderz (99 Ks, 8 QS, 7 Ws, 7 Saves) and a solid .3666 OBP, MEDIOCRE numbers across the goddamn board for the Warriors (I guess you can argue 2 3Bs and 6 SBs are okay). WHAT CAN YA SAY.
Astoria Isotopes FINALLY Win A Playoff Matchup In The Live Ball Era, Deny River City Bad Dudes A Fourth Straight BCS Appearance – 6-5-3
MVP: Charlie Blackmon – FINALLY some signs of life from a one Charlie Blackmon, who contributed an R2 JROLL of his own. So yanno thematically it kinda made the most sense to give him MVP here as well, particularly with triples ending up as important as they ended up (Naztee having the only one in the matchup). 8/22, 5 Rs, 1 2B, 1 3B, 1 HR, 3 RBIs, 2 SBs, .391 OBP **MVP OF ROUND TWO**
LVP:Miguel Sano – The man who MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE tried to force himself upon a photographer in a mall (#BelieveWomen #MeToo) sucked in Round 2, which MAY OR MAY NOT be karmic comeuppance for his misdeeds. Although in all likelihood neither are related in any way, small sample size/life is meaningless chaos/Sano has sucked in plenty of weeks. Way to hit a dinger though ya dingus. 2/22, 1 R, 1 HR, 2 RBIs, .125 OBP
Isotopes Hitter Of Note:Khris DavisUNDERRATED MLB SLUGGER that he is with a quiet 3 HRs because everything he does is quieted by a racist MLB that’s the narrative I am going with here (6/29, 3 Rs, 3 HRs, 5 RBIs, .281 OBP).
Isotopes Pitcher Of Note: Howz about Zach Wheeler dominating the Bad Dudes and their casual Mets fan ownership, there’s some sorta storyline to run with there I just know it but instead lets look at Cole Hamels and a critical CG (9 IP, 1 ER, 7 Ks, 1 QS, 1 CG, 1 W, 1.00 ERA).
Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note: Not AJ Pollock‘s best work imho (3/19, 2 Rs, 1 2B, 4 RBIs, .182 OBP).
Bad Dudes Pitcher Of Note: Samesies for a Nathan Eovaldithat was given TWO STARTS for the Bad Dudes, and failed in both (9.1 IP, 9 ER, 7 Ks, 8.68 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: SO CLOSE YET SO FAR, for the Bad Dudes in their quest for a fourth straight BCS appearance (and yanno to maybe win one again for a change). FINALLY, for the Astoria Isotopes franchise that seemingly hadn’t won a playoff game since Rent hit theaters which is also Isotopes ownership’s favorite movie FUN FACT there. And it all came down to those goddamned quirky “specialty” categories of ours so to speak, the ones that often work behind the scenes to swing a matchup. Here they were front and center: A single triple and a somewhat improbable Cole HamelsCG ultimately gave the ‘Topes the 6-5-3 victory, the Bad Dudes getting the same (or more probably getting two triples) would have flipped the matchup in the other direction. The Isotopes barely make due on the hitting cats going 2-4-1 but make up for it with superior pitching (4-1-2) due to superior looking #s (100 Ks, 9 QS). The Bad Dudes eek out 8 Wins on a mere 4 QS and probably would have felt pretty good about their bullpen numbers typically (5 Saves 4 Holds) but NOT TO BE as the ‘Topes matched them pen for pen, peen for peen. Clearly I don’t have much to say here, tough break for the Bad Dudes and lets pretend I ended it on “peen for peen.” Here I’ll end it on peen for peen.riples Bad Dudes +1, HRs MooniniteZ +1, RBIs TIED, Strikeouts Bad Dudes +1, QS Bad Dudes +1, Wins Bad Dudes +1, Holds Bad Dudes +1.
BACKYARD CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES PREVIEW
AND SO IT IS FINALLY UPON US, after months of annoying trade offers and transactions and complaining about trade offers and transactions and number of DL spots and whether or not people need to adhere to agreed upon start limits in the long weeks and so on and so forth man I am already burnt out on the fantasy front BUT FIRST…..we have a Backyard Championship Series to play out y’all. ALL OF THAT STUFF WAS FROM LAST YEAR BUT STILL APPLIES. This year’s BCS features a first ever #1 v. #5 matchup, a 1 seed has never lost in the BCS yada yada for more of this type info please refer to Odom’s excellent Media Guide somewhere below here. For now I’ll do my quick preview thing and get the fuck outta here.
#1 ASTORIA ISOTOPES VS. #5 LACEY TOWNSHIP BACKDOORSLIDERZ
Let’s do it corer by corner once again, IN THE HIGHER SEEDED CORNER we have the Astoria Isotopes. Riding high after finally performing at a level worthy of all the bullshit braggery about “regular season win totals” (a note for the millionth time, championships are all that matter), Isotopes ownership looks to take home their second championship overall and first since fucking forever. This team drafted behind other top teams for much of the season before winning their final two regular season matchups AGAINST THOSE SAME OTHER TOP TEAMS, and with that impressive feat they scored an impressive top seed. They’ve since followed that up with an impressive win over a Bad Dudes team that has been REALLY GOOD at making the BCS, but they didn’t this year so here the ‘Topes are. They’re lead by Nolan Arenado and KHRIS DAVIS on the hitting side and trying to accomplish all of this with Aaron Judgeall set to miss the entire BCS postseason like the LOW ENERGY superstar that he is. On the pitching side the Isotopes are piecing things the fuck together, lead by an absolutely rejuvenated Cole Hamels and Zack Wheeler duet. Both would make for a better story if anyone actually wanted to root for the Astoria franchise, I s’pose.
In the other corner we have the #5 Seeded Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz, looking to cap off their FIRST FULL SEASON (second overall) with a BCS title. Which would be positively Sean/Odom-esque if not for the fact that we won it in our “taking over for shitty previous ownership” inaugural debut so never mind nothing like that at all. Lacey Township probably needed a convergence of all sorts of factors to even MAKE the Backyard Bracket (because both of the back 2 seeds kinda did this season) but once they’ve gotten here they’ve made the most of it, absolutely wiping the floor with Rojo’s Renegade Force en route to a Round 1 shutout and following that up with an impressive win over a very-good (if also very injury prone) 2 seed. Now Lacey finds themselves in their first ever BCS, lead by YOUTH on the hitting side (Acuna Jr., Soto, Bellinger, Albis, Bregman) and also lead by a slightly older man named Matt Carpenter whom is their best player (Freddie Freeman is also good). On the pitching side it’s a really solid stable featuring more youth (Buehler, Tailon, Kopech all a fuckin’ sudden) and really really good/really really established aces (Verlander, deGrom, Greinke). As the asshole tasked with doing a lot of the reviews and the Power Rankings and all that shit I will say that the BackdoorSliderz were sort of the most across-the-board dangerous franchise in 2018, did everything pretty well on both sides of the (base)ball. They also made some super smart trades to pick off Verlander and Greinke in separate deals, and to pick off all of my team’s youthful talent both at the beginning of the season and at the deadline. I will also say that all-season consistency MEANS LITTLE in a 7-day sample. The BackdoorSliderz are playing well currently but the fact of the matter is they are going to need to continue to do so to take down the top seed.
These two teams met twice in the regular season, as all teams are wont to do, and LO AND BEHOLD the BackdoorSliderz took down the top seed twice. First with an 8-5-1 victory in Week 1 and then an even more emphatic 11-1-2 throttling in Week 10, Lacey is the only team to have swept Astoria in 2018 and that should provide a certain level of confidence heading into this BCS Battle. That being said, beating a team as good as the ‘Topes three times in a season is hard, I would imagine. And that being said that is what will need to happen here if His Dochness is to grab himself his first champeenship. And that being said I have no idea whom people should root for here, I am particularly torn as I have CRAFTED both of these franchises in somewhat significant ways.
WHAT TO WATCH FOR: ROY CANDIDATE PRODUCTION. For the BackdoorSliderz they will likely go as far as their two phenomenal NL ROY candidates can take them (Ronald Acuna Jr. / Juan Soto) but do not sleep on the Isotopes AL ROY candidate, Miguel Andujar. A big week outta him just might propel the Isotopes O to grab a few necessary hitting cats in a tough matchup with a tough 5 seed. History is on the side of the 1 seed, history is also bullshit. SO TUNE IN.
Editor’s Note: A REAL TREAT FOR BLOG FANS, as you do not have to read yours truly for this round. It only feels right that Doch would be rewarded for his HISTORIC 14-0 annihilation of a Round 1 opponent that shall remain nameless for at least another couple of lines, so I am giving him the highest honor I can bestow: the opportunity to write up a review that properly encapsulates the ass whoopin. Take it away Mr. Dochtober…..
Round 1 in Review: #Dochtake Edition
Bad Dudes Salt the Slugs 7-6-1 to eliminate the greatest team that has ever lost in the first round in Backyard history (#Slugfacts)
MVP
Tough call because of solid performances all around for the Bad Dudes on an offense that saw big numbers this week, including them tying the doubles record in a single week with 31. This is the very first week I have the honor to choose an MVP, the pressure is on, do I give it to Stanton (.452 OBP, 4 2Bs, 2 HRs, 6 Runs, 4 RBIs, 1 SB)? Do I give it to Abreu (.444 OBP, 2 2Bs, 2 HRs, 4 Runs, 9 RBIs)? Or will I give it to Bryce Harper (.379 OBP, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 4 Runs, 8 RBIs)? All well deserving individuals for the honor, hell, even Odor (9 RBIs), Chapman (5 2Bs, 5 Runs) and Treinen (3 IP, 7 Ks, 1 W, 2 Saves) deserve some recognition.
After putting a lot of thought into this, we are going to give MVP honors to the New York Mets this week. They played spoiler a few times for the Slugs during the week, including the Sunday night showdown against Pivetta and Phillies. They also beat the Yankees on Monday, knocking Slug ace Luis Severino out after 4 innings in which he gave up 4 earned. Just 1 victory against the lowly Mets would have been enough to get the Slugs into the second round. But the Mets burned the Slugs GM for turning his back on them as a fan.
LVP
Slugs GM Brian Smith
Did Brian overmanage his team in the playoffs? It is going to be a question he will have to live with years from now. What could have been? It was proclaimed early in the year that this was his year, his team was the best, and overall, he is smarter and a better person than everyone else in league (he may not have said that last piece but he probably thinks it). He did leave Gomber, a guy he traded for at the deadline, on his bench out of fear. What did Gomber do from the bench you ask? Oh well he just went out there and pitched great against the Nationals (6 IP, 0 earned, 6 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W). If you recall from the above paragraph, Brian needed just 1 more win to get himself into the second round. That one win was sitting on his bench the entire time right in front of him. It was like that nerdy girl in high school that you did not realize was actually very beautiful once she takes off her glasses and lets her hair down. That girl went on to blossom into a beautiful strong young woman. She was right there in front of you the entire time and you never noticed Brian.
In all reality, it probably would have been Roark or Bucholz not getting a stream start if Gomber was in the lineup Wednesday for the slugs. They each picked up quality starts and W’s as well. But that is not as dramatic for the sake of the blog. So, Brian, you blew it, LVP of the week. You sir, are your own worst enemy. Cue the guitar rift from My Own Worst Enemy by the classic 90s one hit wonder band, Lit. (for the record I owned 2 Lit CDs in my youth, I was 10)
RCBD Hitter of Note
Jose Abreu (.444 OBP, 2 2Bs, 2 HRs, 4 R, 9 RBI)
A lot of guys had good weeks for the Bad Dudes offense, special shout out to my boy Jed Lowrie who had 6 RBIs on 13 at bats. Abreu just seemed like the right pick here. Most RBIs on the Bad Dudes, who put up 66 RBIs this week.
RCBD Pitcher of Note
Dakota Hudson (2 IP, 0.00 ERA 2 Ks, 1 W, 2 H)
Nobody really stood out on the Bad Dudes staff. Sure, Jake Arrieta had a good game, and Lobman’s boy Treinen had a few saves and a win. But when it came down to it, the Slugs could not manage a hold, and fell 1-win shy of winning the matchup this week. SP eligible high minors reliever going out there and making a difference in what became 2 important categories this week. Hudson’s 2 holds were the only 2 of the matchup and the 1 win was absolutely a difference maker.
I was uninspired by the Slugs hitters this week, so we will give this honor to Whit Merrifield because whatever why not. This could have easily gone to Trevor Story (.423 OBP, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 6 R, 3 RBIs, 2 SB), but I was uninspired by his 3 RBIs. Good job Whit, see you back in a backyard lineup next season.
BBS Pitcher of Note
Max Scherzer (6 IP, 7 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W)
Usual Max Scherzer line there. 1 start week for Max, and he did his job. The same cannot be said for Luis Severino and Nick Pivetta. They each had a 2-start week and all they had to do was beat that small market team in New York just once between the both of them. But the Mets’ offense decided to show up this week and ruin what was supposed to be Brian’s year.
Matchup Notes
Lobman is turning into the Buffalo Bills of the Backyard. He wiggled his way into the Backyard playoffs with the 6th seed and we may all pay for it. Lobman’s offense is starting to click at the absolute best time for the Bad Dudes. The Bad Dudes outslugged the Slugs and won the offensive categories 5-1-1. Perhaps having a better offense is more important when it comes to playoff time in the Backyard. The aces on the Slugs only had 1 night in some cases to influence the matchup and it proved to not be enough.
On the other hand, I thought Brian had the best team ever, what happened? This is at least what we were all lead to believe by the Slugs leader himself for most of the regular season. There must be some sort of conspiracy to why the best team ever lost in the first round of the Backyard Playoffs. How can a team that is so good possibly lose in the first round? Was it because of aliens? Is the Illuminati to blame? Is the entire world out to get Brian? Is this all a dream and Brian really won, but I am writing a fake blog post from a dream coma? Brian removed himself from the chat so we perhaps may never know! With Alex Jones out of work, one might think the Backyard should consider employing him to get to the bottom of this conspiracy. We must find out why the government turned the frogs gay! And perhaps they did the same to the slugs, it just went unnoticed until now. Were the frogs being gay just a false flag to bring down the Barnegat Banana Slugs!? Maybe the Curse of Charlie Morton was real after all! One must now think; will the curse carry over to 2019 for the Slugs?
The once fearless Slugs leader, who was not afraid to announce this as his banner season as early as week 6, turned into a shell of himself. One could smell the fear the Slugs started to have towards the Bad Dudes by mid-week when Muncy and Schoop were both waived in a desperate attempt to beat the Bad Dudes. I would like to point out that Muncy was part of the same trade that brought Gomber over, who Brian benched. Was it mentioned yet that the Gomber win on the bench would’ve been a difference maker in this matchup?
Lobman will go on to face the number 1 seeded Isotopes in the battle of the Mikes.
Brian will hopefully end his radio silence on Backyard Live to take his lumps for the cockiness he had in the beginning of the season, or at least give us a rant on why he was screwed over, or why we should have more DL spots, or we shouldn’t police our minors so no one risks losing anyone. But hey at least he still has Vlad Jr….. unless the Curse of Charlie Morton gets to him next.
Lacey Township Backdoor Sliderz just barely squeeze past the Renegades 14-0-0
MVP
Ronald Acuna Jr. (.559 OBP, 2 2Bs, 4 HRs, 11 R, 9 RBIs, 3 SB)
Acuna Matada Mother Fuckers! This 20-year-old prodigy broke out in a big way over the last few weeks. He really started the week off hot Monday and Tuesday, contributing to Rojo getting buried early on according to some in Backyard Live (looking at Odom). Whether you believed he was buried that early on or not, Rojo had an uphill battle this week after only the first 2 days of the playoffs. Acuna had 4 HRs and 7 R, and all 9 of his RBIs by the end of Tuesday night alone. What kind of week could this kid have had if Jose Urena didn’t act like a coward and throw at Acuna’s elbow, knocking the young man out of the game Wednesday and cooling him off slightly in the process. Fuck Jose Urena!
LVP
Rojo
Rojo mismanaged his team early on in the week if you ask me. For a team that is built on flexibility and the “line changes” he does daily, there is no reason that he should be with empty spots in his lineup. On quite a few occasions this week he was starting a guy in his lineup that was not in his real-life team’s lineup for that day. I am not talking about just on light days when there aren’t a lot of games, but on days where every team is playing, he would have guys in his lineup that were riding pine. I actually counted up the amount of times he started a guy that was not starting in his team’s actual lineup, Rojo did this 16 times throughout the week. He did this 3 days in a row with Joc Pederson alone. This is not a good job on a team that is seemingly built on flexibility. Maybe he was too busy worrying about what relievers to stream instead of making sure he had a complete lineup for the day, and this is a bad job my friend. I believe there is some sort of playoff winless streak going on here, so better luck next year.
This ginger proved you don’t need a soul to hit. Good job brother, keep up the good work.
LTBS Pitcher of Note
Jacob deGrom (15.2 IP, 2 ER, 1.15 ERA, 21 Ks, 2 QS, 2 W, 1 CG)
This guy is awesome. Degrominant in the 2-start week. He finally received some run support in those 2 starts and that equals 2 victories for deGrom, including a CG. One of the best pitchers in baseball right here, and deserves some serious recognition for the Cy Young Award.
Goldy is pretty good by the way, in case someone wasn’t aware out there. He was constantly on base this week, but ultimately it did not matter for a Renegades team that failed to win a single category.
Klubot is good, I’m sure other Sean has written extensively about him in the past so you’re going to have to keep scrolling to see more info on Kluber.
Matchup Notes
Well for one I was very fortunate during double headers this week. Was also very fortunate that Rojo was not attentive enough to his lineup, which was the storyline to this matchup. 16 TIMES THIS WEEK HE HAD A PLAYER IN HIS LINEUP THAT WAS NOT IN HIS REAL-LIFE LINEUP! It is going to be difficult to win no matter who you are when that is happening. You’re missing out on potentially 50 at bats just by not checking lineups. The Backdoor Sliderz had 44 more at bats than the Renegades this week, and the Sliderz did not roster a catcher for a single day during the week. Rojo, who has made 450 moves this season, needed to make more moves to just ensure he is running a full lineup nightly. Joc Pederson was benched 3 days in a row but Rojo ran him out his lineup for all 3 of those days. I also question if Hosmer is rosterable as well. But I digress and will manage my own team, which is moving on to round 2 for the first time in franchise history.
The BabySliderz jumped out to a real hot start this week and never looked back. They will now look ahead to the number 2 seed Garden State Warriors led by R Mac. Also of note, this is the 4th week in a row that Dochney will be facing a Ryan.
Round 2 Preview
Astoria Isotopes (1 Seed) Vs. River City Bad Dudes (6 Seed)
The Topes took over the number 1 seed by beating the Slugs in the final week of the season. The Topes are led by some star power, but 2 of their biggest stars are currently on the DL. Being without Judge and Sale are both a big blow for the Topes.
The Bad Dudes on the other hand have been red hot over the last month, and they have some big names on the offensive side of the ball themselves. They looked like an absolute offensive monster in round 1 of the playoffs. The Topes may have some big names, but are they enough to hold off the scorching Bad Dudes without the Pride of the Topes (Judge)?
The season series was split between these 2. The Bad Dudes won in Week 16 (6-5-3), while the Topes won in Week 7 (7-6-1)
PreDOCHtion: Bad Dudes take down the Topes to advance to yet another BCS Finals.
Garden State Warriors (2 Seed) host the Lacey Township Backdoor Sliderz (5Seed)
Week 18 rematch for our other Backyard Round 2 playoff matchup. R Mac could have secured the 1 seed and eliminated the Baby Sliderz from the playoffs with a Week 18 win, but was unable to do so and now Dochney will be looking to make the Warriors pay for letting him in the playoffs.
The Warriors perhaps have the best team in the league. Dominate pitching staff when healthy and have very exciting young talent in Lindor, Correa, Gleyber, Baez, and Benintendi. But this team is not the healthiest at this point in the season. Darvish, Strasburg, Paxton, and Doolittle all sit on the DL for the Warriors, while the Sliderz are looking relatively healthy (KNOCK ON WOOD). Strasburg may be back Wednesday for a start, but it is very likely R Mac will not have the other 3 for the remainder of the playoffs.
The Sliderz will lean on their youth to get them into the Backyard finals. Hoping Acuna and Carpenter are not feeling any effects from being hit by pitches in scary spots last week. There is also a highly anticipated Backyard debut for Michael Kopech, who will have a 2-start week to get his feet wet in the Backyard.
Season Series was split between these 2. Warriors won the Week 9 matchup (9-4-1). Sliderz won Week 18 (8-5-1).
PreDOCHtion: Backdoor Sliderz win because I am being biased. No hard evidence to support the predochtion, screw you all!
IT ALL COMES DOWN TO THE FIELD OF FOUR AND FOLLOWING THAT WE WILL BE AT A FIELD OF TWO AND WHOEVER WINS THAT ONE WILL BE OUR 20178 CHAMPION AND AT LEAST IT ISN’T THE TROUT FISHING CLUB BARNEGAT BANANA SLUGS AMIRITE? NOW IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME I HAVE A MATCHUP TO TURN AROUND OR POSSIBLY NOT TURN AROUND LIFE TO LIVE… HOPING TO SEE SOME MORE PEP IN THE TEAM’S STEP GOING FORWARD IN 2019 THOUGH GOTTA BE HONEST. BYBR2 TUNE IN……………….
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— They may have hit 23 dingers but Chris Taylor hit none of those so SHAMEEEE to Chris and his entire bloodline (2/13, 1 R, .154 OBP).
May A True Champion Bear Inspire You Both…..
Backyard Views 