Logo 2

A bit of league business:

Ok, so, I don’t know how many of you I’ve spoken to about all this, but MLB.TV is good. I don’t even know how many of you even use it to watch random Twins games on a Thursday in July, but I do, along with Iron Pigs games on random Wednesday afternoons in June. Or whatever you get my point.

Well the point is I want to see if the league had any willingness to pool together and buy MLB.TV memberships and/or MiLB.TV memberships, in light of our current league structure. is 112.99 for the year, while prices are not yet available. I am buying both for myself, and would like to subsidize the cost by sharing with everyone. If you’re interested (or already buy it), lets work this out.

@ ME on the chat or text or whatever and we’ll build a list and work out costs.

Love always,



2017 Season Rollout

League Logo.png

The time is almost upon us, friends. SOURCES SAY the league may open up today (2/15), and we will then begin to prep for our 10th season in a way we haven’t in previous years. There are well documented new policies (thank you current commissioner) that are being enacted for the 2017 season, so we have had to have some discussion on just how the rollout for 2017 will begin. This is predicated on the RUMOR that the league will open up today, but here’s the gist:

  • League will open up on 2/15 with current roster lock still in effect.
  • All DL situations must be cleaned up prior to any trades completed or draft (due to roster space issues)
  • Once the league page is opened up and DL issues are cleared for all teams, a 3 DAY trading period will begin.
    • Trading period will be processed by commissioner
  • Once trading period (2/15 to 2/17) ends, rosters will be cleaned up and the order for the Draft will be distributed.
  • Draft Rules:
    • Draft will be conducted in a SPECIAL GROUPME CHAT, just so we don’t muddy up the draft with conversation. Conversation on that particular chat will be limited to “on the clock” and then “Draft selection”
    • Draft will be fixed 1-10 in nature (NOT SNAKED)
    • Initial draft order will be in reverse regular season standing order (10th place picks first, and so on)
    • Draft picks can be traded during the draft (assuming you’re not next), under the rule of the commissioner and the parameters clearly spelled out on the League chat.
    • You have the right to PASS on your draft picks, and just pick when the draft completes.
    • You have roughly 1 HOUR to make your draft pick, and you shall be prompted to make said pick.
    • If you do not make the pick in that time, you will be PASSED on your remaining picks.
    • You do NOT necessarily have to pick a minor leaguer, or bring your roster up to compliance at the time of the draft completion.

I mean, basically that’s it. Once the draft is completed, all of the players will be put on waivers for a period of 2 days, and the league will open for business after the waiver period. You will be mandated to bring your roster to the effective minor league compliance by the night before baseball starts (3/31). This is inflexible, and there will be a penalty article posted on the blog once drafted up by our dear commissioner.


2017 Season Rollout


Image result for 2 troll dolls
FILE PHOTO: Sean and Odom

(Reviewing the Odom/Sean Split)

– Jon Bevilaque was too beautiful for this world. Well, this fantasy baseball world, I guess. As he left us and his floundering dumpster fire of a team (thank you for D. Wright’s productive years), a duo took his place. This duo would take the league by storm and revolutionize the way we work our teams for years to come. Established in 2011 as a team with MANY names, but settling in as the JVDG’s (Jimbo’s Vulcan Death Grip, with quite a story attached), They did the improbable and took their 9-11 inaugural roster to a championship run, defeating the 17-3 Mashers and defending champ Takeover. I mean, this was a pretty good feat right there, they did it 2 more times to become the ONLY 3 time champions in the league’s short history.

Naturally, all good things must come to an end, so when Lenny (or Mitchell or whoever) left our league, it was time to split the golden partnership to create two knowledgable and trustworthy owners. The results? We’ll just say the jury is still out. Lets just see how these two have done in their handling of individual teams:


Lets talk about the Mooninitez’ 2015 (Editor’s Note:  THEY WERE THE “MANTIS SHRIMP” FOR MOST OF THAT SEASON FUCKING GET YOUR FACTS IN ORDER). You look at the roster and say “hey that’s a pretty good team” after their dispersement draft. Then Sean goes and trades Anthony Rizzo for Johnny Cueto because “He didn’t like Rizzo’s face”. Well, Rizzo goes to the eventual champions, and Cueto did not, in fact, finish the season on the Mooninitez roster. Couple that with trading Jose Bautista for Carlos Gonzalez (and a ride), then dropping CarGo before he exploded again, ITS REALLY HARD TO PHATHOM why he ended up in 10th place. Oh, and his pitching. It SUCKED. Cool, guy, way to have good relievers when your best starter was the incomparable Collin Fucking McHugh.

Image result for Johnny cueto
Traded for Anthony Rizzo? NICE

So yea, he moves on to 2016, where he enjoyed a great deal of success. We’re talking #2 seed and a bye success. Helped by a good draft and the pickup of MANY MANY nice young players, the Mooninitez ripped off a crazy 8 week streak of W’s on route to a bye and a semi-final round matchup against Heroy and the OGTFC. If any of you are familiar with Sean and certain outcomes in his life, you’re JUST SHOCKED to find out that he actually blew it and lost. All that talent, and he BLOWS IT. You suck, Sean.

To sum it up, you’re looking at 1 season of downright awful roster management and results, then a fairly successful year only to completely blow it when it matters most. If that’s not classic Sean McLaughlin, then I just wasted 15 years of my life getting to know this dude. What I’m saying is he’s been a waste of talent and brains, but HEY things are looking up for 2017!

Image result for Mooninite Costume
Mooninites are stupid and so are you.

Overall Grade: C- (At least you traded Lo-Cain for Joey Votto)


Image result for dee gordon
RIP to Odom’s successful season

Audible laughter was heard during the draft in 2015, as the playful stoner buddy we all know and love was piecing together his roster. I just remember how critical Slugs owner Brian Smith was of the X-Rays roster construction. I mean, he was BERATING that draft. Almost insulting things were said. But anyways, it was universally recognized that the X-Rays were the presumptive favorites for “The Figs ©”, which is given to the biggest loser in the league much like that nickname is given to the biggest loser in real life. WELL wouldn’t you know it, the X-Rays (then Dee-generation X) worked some incredible magic to become the improbable #3 seed in the playoffs in their 1st year of existence, which is approximately 7 spots higher than what Sean’s inaugural season resulted. Fair to say that despite the BEATDOWN that the Slugs gave Odom’s X-Rays in the first round the playoffs, Things were really looking up for 2016.

Cut to 2016, where the X-Rays somehow IMPROVED on their inaugural season and finished #1 in the regular season standings. Well, as Hallowed Two-Time Champion and Established Most Successful Franchise in Backyard History Owner Mike Lobman will tell you, #1 seeds and Regular Season championship don’t mean shit unless you win something (Self-Burn). All of the good that 2016 saw in the regular season was undone by a quick but close loss to the defending champion Cuban Missiles, which was a tough way to end a very promising season.

With 2 consecutive seasons of promising regular seasons, followed by disappointing blown opportunity in the playoffs, one has to question the mental toughness or ability to make clear decisions when it matters most. Are the X-Rays constructed to win the regular season, followed by incredible flame outs in the playoffs? So far, YEP. Our now commissioner will take with him a large amount of expectation going into 2017, coupled with the actual and probably annoying task of managing the league. Safe to say anything less than a championship will be an IMMENSE DISAPPOINTMENT.

Image result for david price sucks
I don’t know why I signed with the Red Sox, either

Overall Grade: C (Big steps but David Price is CLEARLY REGRESSING)

 Does that mean they are effective owners of championship teams without each other? The answer of course is no. No they aren’t.

Image result for Two idiots
We’ll always remember the good times

Overall Grade: F (Fuck Both of these guys, in particular)



2017 Troll Series, Vol. 1: Power Rankings – Tying Up Political Loose Ends Edition

Well, my friends, its 2017. 2016 has left us, as has our dignity, sense of American pride, and inevitably certain inalienable rights that are SURE to be taken from us when our fascist neo-con piece of garbage PEOTUS comes to power in mere days. But fear not. 2017 is a better year for this group, as another season is upon us. I do need to exercise some of the demons that the last half of 2016 presented to me, which left me a sad and broken man on New Years Eve this year. These power rankings to begin 2017 will make us all think, and therefore possibly better. Or maybe even worse. Whatever, here are your rankings:

(Note: Just jokes guys…)

  1 . OceanGate Trout Fishing Club

The Candidate: Donald Trump

Yes, yes, we have to start with the champ. Greg Heroy’s horrendously named club withstood all comers to win his FIRST championship in the league, and I guess the league is better for it. The parallels are basically perfect with our newly elected president and current champ: Both horrendous racists, both completely winging it in policy, both likely to have important members of their teams killed during their reign (RIP JOSE). No matter what we think of these guys, they won 2016.

As for the FC, they had a pretty excellent season. Offensively, they were clearly the best offensive team in the league, while having JUST ENOUGH pitching to win close matchups. There’s no question that Heroy still boasts a very young and talented offensive core, but will no doubt need to shore up the pitching staff if he wants to repeat as champ in 2017.

  1. River City Cuban Missiles

The Candidate: Hillary Clinton

Both historically successful and wildly unlikable, there are again some pretty decent comparisons with the runners up in both the league and the election. The Missiles had an incredibly uneven campaign, marred by slight missteps and scandals, but still somehow continued to barrel through the competition to face the OGFC in our championship game. Hillary (although more of a favorite) had much of the same situation. The league and the country supported change, and that’s what they got.

The Missiles had what many would call a down year by any standards, so the sheer fact that they made the title game should be considered a huge success in hindsight. Still relying on power numbers and strikeouts, the Missiles made some trades to get younger in areas, which can certainly help them address some questions and become more well-rounded as we head into 2017.


Image result for Marco Rubio Funny Face

  1. Point Loma X-Rays

The Candidate: Marco Rubio

Despite the fact that he was a part of the 3 time championship run, I consider Odom’s X-Rays to be somewhat of an upstart in this league. In terms of ideas and strategy, they quickly established themselves as a key player during the stretch run, much like our boy Rubio. When it really mattered (the playoffs), both Odom and Rubio showed to be slightly out of their depth, as they were quietly silenced in short order. FRET NOT, Point Loma fans, this team is for real. As Rubio is establishing himself to be a strong Republican influencer and potential opposition to Trump in 2020, Odom will continue to wheel and deal his way into relevance in 2017.

  1. Main Street Mooninitez

The Candidate: Bernie Sanders

I mean, I gotta give a little love to Sean here for basically mirroring the man he supported this year. The Mooninitez certainly felt the BERN in the regular season, working their way to the 2 seed and becoming a very much feared opponent for any team competing for the title. The problem with both Bernie and Sean was while their messages were strong and they had a nice following, they both fell to much stronger opposition when it mattered most. Maybe they were both too stubborn and one-note in their strategies, or maybe what they were doing grew stale over the course of the season. Maybe they just choked. Either way, Bernie created a movement, something which the Mooninitez would love to carry on into 2017 for some playoff success.

  1. Barnegat Banana Slugs

The Candidate: Ted Cruz

Despite the fact that they do NOT share one consistent political ideology or belief, there’s probably no better match in 2016 than the Slugs and the human representation of slug, Ted Cruz. Both Smitty and Cruz could be considered by some to be pretty pompous or sometimes a bit smug, but there’s definite genius there. Up and comers from a few years ago, the Slugs have really become a team to be taken seriously, most recently reaching championship game status in 2015 and debunking the vaunted RUNNER UP Curse ©. Ted Cruz shares a similar path, going from freshman senator to legitimate presidential candidate in relatively short order. Both took the L pretty hard to end their respective seasons, but neither are going away anytime soon.

Image result for ben carson

  1. Rojo’s Resurgence

The Candidate: Ben Carson

Look, we can’t all be winners. The Resurgence had a few years of some really forgettable seasons, so the beginning of 2016 showed signs of a … resurgence … of sorts. Our favorite village idiot neurosurgeon/HUD secretary (?) also shared a very strong start to 2016. Both showed to be players in their respective races, but somehow in the middle of their competition, things sort of fell apart. For the Resurgence, it may have been the apprehension to make the big deal or take a risk. For Carson? I would say it was basically the words that came out of his mouth. Or the fact that he thought the pyramids were for grain storage. Or the idea that cavemen and dinosaurs were friends or whatever. Either way, neither the Resurgence or Benny Boy were much of a factor come crunch time. The hope is that Rojo will find a way to take his team to the next level in 2017, while Carson will begin his 2017 by doing something he’s woefully unqualified to do. I’m not going to say there’s a comparison there.

  1. Pine Lake Punchouts

The Candidate: Jeb Bush

If winning is in the blood, then the McLaughlins are this league’s answer to the Bush family. Sometimes you’re a GHW Bush (Ryan’s first title, followed by a big drop), sometimes your G dubs (Sean’s part in a 3 peat that we all know he had no part in). Sometimes you’re just JEB. Jeb was a candidate who at the beginning looked to be the frontrunner, with the pedigree and history to think that he’d be a lock for the nomination. Drawing parallels, the Punchouts had the league’s best collection of pitching coupled with strong offensive pieces. The issue with both was unclear, but both Jeb and the Punchouts went down without so much as a whimper in the end. Please Clap.

  1. Springfield Isotopes

The Candidate: Chris Christie

Basically the physical opposite of Chris Christie, Topes owner Mikey T talks a very hard game and tried all season to flex his muscle as commish. Both Christie and the Topes came off as hard-talking authoritarian types, only to end up failing large and looking small at the end. While Christie is used to losing before the playoffs (politically speaking), the Isotopes missed the playoffs for the first time in their league history, which means River City are now the ONLY team to never miss the playoffs. Just thought I’d throw that in there. ANYWHO, the futures for both are up in the air. Christie will most likely become Emperor Cheeto’s coffee maker, but what can we expect from Mikey T and his Isotopes in 2017?

  1. Club Going Up on Altuve

The Candidate: Rand Paul

Rand Paul is a totally irrelevant politician, which exactly how I view Connor’s team naming and roster construction. Other than that? I mean, neither were all that successful with anything in 2016. Moving on.

  1. Whitestone Bulldogs (NOW MORNING WOOD)

The Candidate: Carly Fiorina

In the spirit of the effort Cliff put into his 2016 season, I have put that much effort into picking Carly Fiorina as his candidate. None of it matters, because he’s gone now. But our new friend SHANE is here to get this team out of the doldrums. And hey, regardless of whether you liked his 2 trades shortly after taking over the team you gotta love the fact that he’s actually making moves. I’ll miss Cliff, but the time was right to let him go, as was the time that Ms. Fiorina left the presidential race. There.


2017 Troll Series, Vol. 1: Power Rankings – Tying Up Political Loose Ends Edition


Editor’s Note (APPARENTLY I FASHION MYSELF AN EDITOR NOW):  I, Sean McLaughlin, your front-runner for this year’s number one seed in the playoffs, did not write this article.  This article was CLEARLY written by Mike Lobman; you can tell because he really enjoys the word “postmortem” (dead bodies fetish?  who am I to decide).  But anyways somehow I can view any and all “drafts” that have been written for the site and have not yet been posted and I mean SHIT this looks pretty done to me, so fuck it get it up there.  Because I can never keep my opinions to myself I have added an “Editor’s Grade” below Mike’s grade.  And as with Odom’s uhhh THING that I threw up on here (literally vomited it onto here), all comments in italics are mine and everything else ain’t.  ON TO THE…..postmortem……..  

– Well, its been roughly an hour (Editor’s Note:  MANY HOURS HAVE PASSED SINCE) since our LEAST impressive and probably MOST damaging trade deadline of the league’s history happened, so it’s about godddddd damn time someone does a review of each team grade their trades for the deadline! Since I’m sitting around doing nothing in particular, that someone is ME. (Note: Key additions/losses are reflected in players currently on your team).


Whitestone Bulldogs

Trades: 4

Key Additions: Vince Velazquez, Dansby Swanson, Carson Fulmer, BENJAMIN ZOBRIST

Key Losses: JA Happ

Remarks: Cliff has the worst record in the league, but somehow a lot of parts that one would deem “movable”, which he surprisingly did in a small way. The main idea for a team who’s in last place is to find a way to get better (maybe younger) for the future, and Cliff took those steps by acquiring Carson Fulmer, Dansby Swanson, Dan Vogelbach, and Vince Velazquez. All of this while dealing a few usable parts like Happ, Jeffress, and Zimmermann, which all in all was a pretty nice job. The Reyes for Ellsbury was kind of a joke, but its negligible anyways because Ellsbury ended up on the FA list shortly thereafter. Maybe he could’ve done a little better to capitalize on some desperate team’s need for pitching? Yea, but this wasn’t too bad.

Grade: B-

Editor’s Grade:  B.  In terms of what Cliff needed to do I would say he accomplished it, trading away an older starter like J.A. Happ at peak value for a few nice young pieces (and also a 35 year old 2B but yanno HAD TO TAKE ON THE CONTRACT, or something).  I am sure the next owner of Cliff’s team will appreciate some of the younger trade chips available to him.  lolz suck it Cliff YOU ARE OUTTA HERE.

Springfield Isotopes

Trades: 6

Key Additions: Adam Duvall, Freddie Freeman, Charlie Blackmon, Steve Piscotty, Craig Kimbrel (so I guess we are working in some trades that happened BEFORE the deadline as well.  This article lacks focus, Michael.)

Key Losses: Mike Napoli, Jon Lester, Chris Davis, Alex Colome, Carlos Beltran

Remarks: Ok, so on the surface, the +/- of the moves he made isn’t necessarily as bad as you’d think. The issue is: For a team that has a bunch of holes and an aging roster, WHY are you buying buying equally older players while not selling some of the more movable bigger names on your roster. Couple that with the PUZZLING (possibly colluding) deal of Lester/Napoli for Duvall, basically The ‘Topes didn’t do a thing to appease a fan base who’s ACHING for a rebuild. Big ups to T for pilfering Freddie Freeman from the Missiles for a broken closer.

Grade: C

Editor’s Grade:  C- (C+ if we are counting the Freddie Freeman deal).  Like the Lobman assessment below, this valuation is greatly affected by whether or not we are including THAT ABSOLUTE PILLAGING of Freddie Freeman.  The pillaging makes the trade work of the ‘Topes look much better, but to his credit he still manages to come out looking not great.  Two main reasons:  the failure to trade David Phelps before he became mostly useless and the UTTER FAILURE that was that Napoli/Lester trade.  Don’t even want to get into that one.  But at least he brought Charlie Blackmon home.  And if we go farther back Freeman was a GREAT pickup and Piscotty was also a pretty nice get for an SP-eligible closer.  

Pine Lake Punchouts

Trades: 2

Key Additions: Yasiel Puig

Key Losses: Odubel Herrera

Remarks: Not a whole lot to say here. R-Mac has been logjammed with an outfield crunch, and did a little to build for his future by dealing Herrera for Puig. Outside of that? Not a lot. One would’ve hoped that he could deal one of Upton/Braun/Ozuna for a little more roster flexibility, but that job wasn’t done at this deadline.

Grade: C-

Editor’s Grade:  D+.  I for one am NOT going to go quite as easy on this brother of mine.  I know this lack of action was probably due to him being barraged by AWFUL trade offers from every other member of the league, but I think with Benintendi on the horizon and the limitations imposed by the league’s roster construction made it sorta a NECESSITY to pick the OF he liked least and deal him for the package he liked best.  Perhaps frustrated by garbage offers, Ryan didn’t do that.  But he should have just accepted a garbage offer of mine.  I should have made one.

Bad Drake Puns

Trades: 0

Key Additions: None

Key Losses: None

Remarks: Maybe the Puns are currently in the mix for that last playoff spot, but to not make a move at all (adding or subtracting) shows a lack of care and attention to what his team needs in a either a playoff race or a selling for the future. It’s an uninteresting deadline from an uninteresting team.

Grade: F

Editor’s Grade:  F.  Yea who the hell knows with this guy.  Theoretically it is difficult to trade if you have to wait to have your tweeted questions about said trade answered by the CBS sports guys first, but Connor certainly could have made a move or two to put himself in better position to sneak into the playoffs.  Fuck ’em though.

River City Cuban Missiles

Trades: 10

Key Additions: Willson Contreras, David Dahl, Sonny Gray, Jameson Taillon, Roberto Osuna, Wade Davis

Key Losses: Kenta Maeda, Freddie Freeman, Zack Grienke, Edwin Diaz, Yasiel Puig

Remarks: The defending champs have had a very uneven season so far, yet find themselves on the cusp of a playoff berth, which really made the trade deadline especially difficult. One could argue that they got hammered by the INEXPLICABLE deal to send Freddie Freeman to the hated Isotopes for Trevor Rosenthal, who subsequently lost his job and was dropped shortly thereafter. The trades made were part building for the future, part building for a playoff run. It’s a risky strategy, but the Missiles have bought their fans at least a season of acceptance after a championship run last year.

Grade: C+

Editor’s Grade:  C+ (D- if we are counting the Freddie Freeman deal).  Lobman’s self-assessment really only works if we leave out the Freddie Freeman DEBACLE, which happened back in June.  That was possibly the worst trade this league will ever see.  But ANYWHO aside from that the Missiles had a pretty productive deadline, scoring potential young studs in Dahl, Contreras, and Taillon and scoring two real solid closers (although Wade Davis is so overdue for TJ surgery).  Sonny Gray is so fucking MEH at best that his name should be Sonny Meh.  But overall (NOT COUNTING FREEMAN DEAL) Mike had a nice deadline.  Docked him a bit for trading away the heart and soul of his team and decreasing his Cubans count.

Ocean Gate Trout Fishing Club

Trades: 3

Key Additions: Aaron Sanchez, Kenta Maeda, Jeremy Jeffress

Key Losses: Roberto Osuna, Willson Contreras, Dansby Swanson

Remarks: For a team that is STILL searching for their first championship in the league, you would’ve thought that they might of sold out a little bit for some top end pitching help. I mean, they more than had the prospects to do so, which lends a lot of credence to the idea that Trouts owner Greg Heroy just loves his prospects a little too much. Either way, The FC acquired Maeda and Sanchez from the Missiles in 2 separate trades, which will definitely help down the stretch (assuming they don’t die like every other pitcher he has).

Grade: B-

Editor’s Grade:  B-.  Sometimes it’s the moves you don’t make.  Heroy did good on adding Sanchez and Maeda, and Jeffress has been productive even after being traded to the Rangers and converted from a closer to a holds guy, but the best move Heroy made may have been picking up Dylan Bundy off the waiver wire the week of the trade deadline and then managing to not trade him that week.  Because Dylan Bundy has arrived folks, and good on Heroy for grabbing him for free and resisting the urge to flip him.  How a person feels about the Dansby Swanson for Jeffress swap earlier in the season is basically a litmust test for how a person feels about prospects that are several seasons away.  I say who needs ’em.

Rojo’s Resurgence

Trades: 0

Key Additions:

Key Losses:

Remarks: Another team that’s still searching for championship #1, you’d think he would’ve used some of his top prospects to get anything to upgrade his team. Unfortunately for the Resurgence fans, he stands pat with the squad he has. The problem is the current roster is 1-4-1 since Week 11, and currently getting trounced by the Banana Slugs this week. This is not a positive recipe for success. SAD!

Grade: F

Editor’s Grade:  F.  Harsh but fair.  The Resurgence have been in a BIT of a freefall in the 2nd half of the season, one that threatens THEIR VERY TEAM NAME, and it’s hard not to make the case that they could stand to use an upgrade at a position or two.  Flipping Kyle Schwarber at the deadline may have been one way to accomplish that, but even if Rojo was dead set on keeping that fat and overrated bastard he still should have explored a move or two.  The fans needed to see action and they got ZILCH. 

Point Loma X-Rays

Trades: Many

Key Additions: Many  (very low energy of you, Mike:  uhhhh Chris Davis, Odubel Herrera, Mike Napoli, Jon Lester, Brad Hand, Adam Duvall at or around the deadline.)

Key Losses: Many  (uhhhh Charlie Blackmon, Craig Kimbrel, Anthony Desclafani, Wade Davis at or around the deadline.)

Remarks: Fashioning himself as the league’s preeminent wheeler-dealer, X-Rays owner Mike Odom did some major work this deadline to re-shape his roster to a more balanced offensive team. The Rays made a lot of moves, and its hard to know exactly what the shell game will end up looking like down the stretch, but we could all agree that they added a ton of power, and STOLE Lester/Napoli from the Isotopes with a classic deadline steal.  One way or another, The X-Rays did NOT stand pat, and made moves which might give them a better chance against the powerhouses in the playoffs.

Grade: B

Editor’s Grade:  B+.  Mitch Odom has been called a lot of things, but he has never been called “unadaptable”.  At least I don’t think so.  I mean it isn’t even a word.  Ever the active trade deadliner, Odom saw a roster built for speed and speed alone and took a few opportunities to diversify a bit and add some extra pop.  As Mike notes above the Lester/Napoli deal was absolute robbery, but the Chris Davis and stuff for Charlie Blackmon and stuff deal was quite balanced.  In the end Odom added a slew of power bats to a lineup that could stand to work a few in, and a more well-rounded approach just might serve him well come playoff time.  Also Brad Hand is a nice little SP-eligible reliever, can’t argue against that.

Barnegat Banana Slugs

Trades: 3

Key Additions: Rick Porcello, Edwin Diaz, Zack Grienke, Rich Hill

Key Losses: Adam Duvall, Sonny Gray, David Dahl, Jameson Taillon, Adrian Gonzalez

Remarks: After losing in the championship last season and acquiring the Runner-Up Curse ™, The Slugs had no real interest in staying in neutral this deadline. In 3 separate trades, Smitty got himself 3 very good starters and maybe one of the most coveted pieces in the league going right now in Edwin Diaz. He paid a large price for these pitchers, but you always need to deal value to get value.  Will it be enough to make up for the loss of Trevor Store due to injury? That’s the million dollar question.

Grade: B+

Editor’s Grade:  B+.  I hate when I agree with Lobman’s grade but YEA.  Brian’s Banana Slugs did nice work round the deadline, scoring Diaz aka the highly sought after SP-eligible reliever whom you just knew would turn into the Mariners closer at a moment’s notice.  And turn into the Mariner’s closer he did.  SAWKS pitcher Rick Porcello was a nice pickup as he is in the midst of a very strong season, and the other hurlers added could prove valuable come playoff time even though Greinke is in the midst of a somewhat BLAH season and Hill is in the midst of dealing with the blister of his fucking life.  The Slugs felt the need to shake up their pitching core they shook it, though not without parting with some young talent in Dahl and Taillon.  Ya gotta give a little to get a little folks. 

Main St MooninitezZ

Trades: 5

Key Additions: Justin Verlander, JA Happ, Ryan Schimpf, Matt Bush (CUT!), BRANDON FUCKING MOSS

Key Losses: Alex Colome, Vince Velazquez, Ben Zobrist, AJ Ramos

Remarks: The Mooninitez knew they needed to tighten up that pitching staff a bit with an eye toward the playoff push, and he sure as shit did so by picking up solid pitchers Verlander and Happ.  The idea of losing Velazquez is made palatable by picking these two up, and the Addition of Matt Bush as a rookie eligibile setup guy was a nice move.

Grade: B+

Editor’s Grade:  A-.  I am just a fan of this guy’s work, personally.  The Velasquez move, like a tough-to-swallow in hindsight drop of Michael Fulmer earlier in the season, are the clearest indications that THIS GUY is trying to win THIS YEAR and not trying to deal with pitchers getting shut down mid-playoffs run.  Justin Verlander and J.A. Happ fit the bill for that purpose, and at least one of them became somewhat necessary after the loss of Lance McCullers.  This guy just gets it.


The Future of the Backyard – Starting a Conversation……..

Mmmmm, Baseball

– As I sit in my own personal prison in Piscataway, mourning the loss of my dear friend Yasiel (SAD!), I’m looking to give some relief to my idle hands and start the dialog of what can, will, and should happen for the future in the coming months for The Backyard. As Odom and Sean (poorly) began the conversation yesterday, I will begin to ask the questions that will be ultimately answered to continue to shape the league in this new Dynasty setting.

New Frontiers?

The first question we got to ask ourselves is: WHAT in the hell is this league going to look like moving forward? I mean, we’re basically in uncharted territory as we head into the playoffs. The trading scenario is incredibly uncertain, as nobody really knows how to handle the currency of prospects along with the lack of draft picks to trade. How high do we rate prospects or even young pitching to shape the teams of 2017 and beyond? It feels like we’re going to have a multitude of approaches moving forward, with some teams capitalizing on uncertainty and some teams… well, not doing so.

My feeling is fairly clear in the sense that there is no REAL (we’ll get to this later) draft next year, so a successful team can’t just sit idly by and not look to reshape their team to the future. The playoff teams will have to balance the art of competing and preparing for the playoffs along, along with the look towards the next few seasons. This is much like what teams deal with in ACTUAL baseball. The remaining few teams who are clearly out of this playoff race will have to take a look at their roster and ask themselves who’s going to be a viable part of my 2017 season? That choice is entirely up to them.

Pictured: Guys that aren’t really well liked. Much like some owners in the league.

New Owners?

Another very important question to this whole vision for next season: Which teams in this league will be a part of 2017 and beyond? I will not mix words, this league is about 100x more intensive than your average fantasy league (if you like to win). It takes infinitely more research and roster checking, both to see if you’re using a compliant roster and to shape your team in a way where your team is as usable and well-rounded as possible. Its not easy, and with the inevitable addition of more minor leaguers (more on this later), it may just be too much for some teams to control with real life in the way.

That question will have to be answered in the off-season, but if ANY team feels like this league is becoming too much, please think about what you’d like to do moving forward so we can line up adequate replacements.

Do you even watch baseball?

New Technology

One idea that’s been floated around is the idea of a yearly league dues. Now, we’re not talking about prize money. Anyone who thinks prize money is a good idea for this group is not looking at the league in the correct way. That trophy (which currently sits in my office) is all the happiness I need when it comes to Fantasy Baseball. The dues (maybe $20/team) would be used to purchase the nameplate for the champion each season to go on said trophy, as well as an INCREDIBLY good idea by current (more on this later) commissioner Mike Turtora. We use some of these dues to pay for both and for the league, so everyone could watch all of the games for both minors and big leagues. I have both, and I typically don’t mind giving the logins up to those who want them, but this would be a nice thing for the league (and save me some cash).


Pictured: A guy that one owner will sell both of his kids to acquire

New Blood?

Something that’s evolved in a big way over the last few years will continue to evolve, as we will be expanding the minor league system over the offseason for the 2017 season. This system will be expanded from 5 Minor league spots (which are usable up to 50 IP or 130 AB with no restrictions), to *To be finalized* 8 Minor league spots, with 4 being strict 0 IP / 0 AB slots for players in the low minor leagues. This is essential to our future as a league in accordance with the whole dynasty system.

In order to accommodate the system, we will need some sort of a draft every January/Feb (Once the league re-ups each season) to accept some of the new guys added each winter in as fair of a way as possible. My thoughts would be a quick 5 round draft (maybe even less) to shake out some of the new additions, with the draft order and particulars to be figured out over the break. Something to think about…

Is this man *TIRED* of leading this league?

New Commissioner?

Our commissar Mikey T has been a great servant to the league for now going into it’s, what, 9th year? We’ve shaped this league into something much more than a fantasy league, which is highly commendable due to the difficulty and control that it needed. That being said, US Presidents only get 8 years, and they have to be contested in between. I think it’s well established in the chat that T will have some competition for the future of the commissionership in the coming off-season. Whether he even wants to be commissioner in 2017 is another question all together.

So the way it could shake out is a multi-candidate election for the commissioner’s job, filled with (some kind of) a platform for what you think the league needs to do moving forward, and a plan to accomplish the objectives. Anyone’s welcome to run in this thing, so that’s another question you’ll have to ask yourself. You’ll be given the league manager powers, along with the duty of coordinating all deadlines and time-frames, as well as being the final say in any disputes for the entirety of the league. Good luck if you’re into that.

SO YEA, in summation, we got a lot to chew on here. I hope everyone reads this and really takes into account the points made that affect them. We got a lot to do to continue to shape the league, so if you have any ideas, lets hear em!


The Future of the Backyard – Starting a Conversation……..


This guy is (marginally) better at predicting things than Sean….

– MY OH MY what a Week 6 we had. As Sean has more than adequately related to you all in the week in review (I’m sure, because I did not read yet), this week was filled with some spirited battles as well as some major league beat downs. Crying MJ’s were given to the losers, and temporary glory to the winners. It is essential that while we do these power rankings, we also address the GLOWING the issue of LAST WEEK’S power rankings, authored by one SEAN E. MCLAUGHLIN. In his always funny, sometimes insulting type of way, he made some prognostications, and let’s just say they didn’t exactly work out the way he had predicted. I will address EACH AND EVERY PREDICTION along with the rankings so everyone can get a good laugh at this dumb bastard. With no further ado, Rankings:

1. River City Cuban Missiles (3-1-2)

Oh hey, first place. Nice to see you again. After a tumultuous first few weeks where pitching stats fluctuated and some key trade pieces remained unproductive, The Missiles (bats) woke up with a key week 6 performance. Whether you want to credit Adam Jones’s 4 bombs, Hanleys +.500 OBP, or Tulo’s re-awakening, The Cubans outlasted a very strong but HORRENDOUSLY managed Mooninitez squad. I will use this time to place myself in first until the inevitable collapse in this week’s championship matchup.

That Prediction?: “the River City Cuban Missiles shall be sent to at truly ridiculous looking 2-2-2 record and the gods shall smile down upon us all.”  WELL NOW, that really didn’t happen. (0 for 1)

2. Ocean Gate Trout Fishing Club (3-3)

Yea, I skipped over the two 4-2 squads. Sure, they’re doing just fine after playing each other, but this is not about them. This is about another really strong week by the Trouts, which we must highlight because this week he’ll probably fall back to earth like the bipolar mess his team is nowadays. He gets the #2 spot because his offense was great and his team was the only under 3.00 ERA this week. Good Job Greg. You’ll most likely blow it in the future, but good job..

That Prediction?: “The FC’s staff is looking less problematic after a solid acquisition of Aaron Sanchez, and with him and Jose Fernandez set to pitch again this weekend I see Heroy winning a tight battle and improving to 3-3.  Sad!”  FIRST OF ALL, Don’t fucking trade analyze in the Power Rankings, Sean. Also, bad Aaron Sanchez showed up and made a mess of Sunday’s game. BUT HEY nice job in accurately predicting a OG victory! (1 for 2)

 3. Rojo’s Resurgence (4-2)

After a week that saw him as the #1 spot on the rankings, the Resurgence ?de-surged? and lost badly to the other upstart team in the league, Drakepuns. ROJO, DON’T LOSE TO BAD DRAKEPUNS CMON. I suppose it was closer than that 9-2 score looks, but you go down to 3rd for that bad loss. On the bright side, you tied for most doubles, so that’s like something I guess.

That Prediction?:Rojo goes to 5-1, Rojo’s Resurgence continues to be the 2nd hottest ticket in town (after that Hamilton rap thingie).”  SPOILER ALERT: Hamilton dies. And eventually people will lose interest in Rap Opera plays maybe. Also Sean was WRONG. (1 for 3).

 4. Bad Drakepuns (4-2)

The league’s collective least favorite team (we’ve polled the audience) takes down everyone’s favorite plucky underdog (my guess), yet still gets a spot below Rojo because GUESS WHAT I like Rojo much more. That being said, the ‘Puns put it together this week, and that should be commended. Also, I couldn’t put a 4-2 team less than the 4th spot. So yea.

That Prediction?: ”That piece of shit and his piece of shit team go to 3-3.” Well that’s obviously not what happened. I do agree with the first 2 parts of this BUT I give no half points for correctness. (1 for 4)

Main Street Mooninitez  5. Springfield Isotopes (3-2-1)

Guys, did you know that The Topes get a lot of saves? Well if you follow the chat like SO MANY of us do, you would know that The Tops get a lot of saves. Also, Miguel Cabrera hit a wall scraping homer the other night. Also, The Topes withstood 2 unbelievable pitching performances from the Sale/Kershaw duo to pull off a rather impressive victory. It will be very interesting to see if this team could carry this momentum going forward to complete an improbable run to the playoffs, but for now this was a very strong win.

That Prediction?: “and then NEXT WEEK he’s gonna wake up on Monday morning and wonder where it all went wrong.  Ryan’s team storms back, T’s ‘Topes go to 2-3-1.” Well, Sean, it looks as tho Sassy T woke up a winner. Good for him and bad for Sean (1 for 5, SAD!)

Main Street Mooninitez    6. Pine Lake People’s Champs (3-3)

Well, in a season where everyone’s basically .500, there’s a pretty good chance that one (BAD) loss will take you from #2 all the way to #6. Especially when two different people do the rankings. Listen, I love Ryan. He’s like one of my favorite people, but you CAN’T lose to The Topes! I think even he would understand this tumble down in the rankings. That being said, GOD DAMN those 2 pitchers Kershaw and Sale are just really good. Also, Yelich is quite a little player. That’s all I got for positivity this week.

That Prediction?: “The People’s Champs shall start their comeback on this very day and by Sunday’s end they shall be 4-2.” Guys, I know this is gonna sound repetitive, but WRONG AGAIN, SEAN. That People’s Champs comeback will have to wait until Week 7, where he will possibly be 4-3 (Maybe). (1 for 6)

Main Street Mooninitez  7.  Barnegat Banana Slugs (3-3)

Maybe probably, The Slugs should be slightly higher on this list. The problem is they played the hapless Bulldogs, who are now staring down the barrel of a winless season. But this isn’t about the Bulldogs, let’s talk about the Slugs and the Runner Up Curse ™. Its still there, no matter what happens this week coming up against the Missiles. The Curse will not be broken (or maybe it will I don’t know). Either way, the Runner Up Curse ™ keeps the Banana Slugs all sorts of yellow and sad and out of the top 6 of the Power Rankings.

That Prediction?: “So while I fully acknowledge that losing to the winless Bulldogs meshes well with the Runner Up CURSE ™, I feel the curse is going to be a bit less obvious about things and so for now Brian wins again.  Banana Slugs find themselves at .500” Praise Baby JESUS, as Sean gets another one right! Basically everything that was said is SPOT. ON. Correct, as the Runner Up Curse ™ works in really hilarious ways. BE AWARE of the setup Brian. The Curse ™ takes no prisoners. (2 for 7)

Main Street Mooninitez  8. Point Loma X-Rays (2-3-1)

Well, I guess in all actuality they didn’t have a bad week all total, as the X-Rays ran into a strong Fishing Club. I could make a joke that the Fishing Club caught and killed a Ray, but I’m not gonna do that here, so I’ll just say that despite losing, the only West Coast squad is still only 1.5 games out of first even in 9th place. Which is something. Lets just hope for better days for one of the Mikes, maybe even this week against The Drakepuns.

That Prediction?: “THIS WEEK I can’t shake the feeling that the X-Rayz shall be deterred by the Fishing Club.  Something about the X-Rayz pitching woes of late and the Fishing Club’s pitching matchups has me seeing a future where the X-Rayz find themselves at (2-3-1).  Not that this is much of a hole in our current season.  This year everyone is pretty much .500, pretty much all of the time.” This one was so overly wordy, I had to include the whole thing. It wasn’t a good write-up anyways, as it really gave you no useful information. But yeaaaaa he got that prediction right there, so good job Sean (3 for 8)

Main Street Mooninitez  9. Whitestone Bulldogs (0-6)

OH, so this is where you thought you’d see the Mooninitez after all the teasing? NAH, I got the balls to put that BITCH dead fucking last. There really is nothing good to say about the Bulldogs, who have a lovely human being as an owner. Oooh I found something nice to say. Anyways, Things don’t look all that promising for him this week against the People’s Champs, but I GUESS he will win at some point soon.

That Prediction?: “Until Cliff shows that he can do the opposite of losing I will have to predict losing.  Bulldogs end up at 0-6.” Basically, This. (4 for 9)

10. Main Street Mooninitez (3-3)

Yea, you wanna put the Missiles at #9? Well, when you lose after that lowlife white trash move, you get the 10 spot. I care NOT for the little fact that Sean’s Moon men are actually pretty good, and the fact that he MAY be in the top 4 if he weren’t such a pompous dickhead. In fact, no, his team and his choice in lifestyle are total garbage. And his predictions. I’m not sure I’ve made this clear enough yet, but he did a bad job with his predictions. His team is fine, outside of some bad pitching, but pretty much every team had some shit pitching. The real issue here is Sean’s mouth. Don’t make checks that Kevin Gausman’s wildly inconsistent right arm couldn’t cash!

That Prediction?: “But when it’s all said and done, fuck Lobman and these are my power rankings and fuck Lobman a second time.  Right in his slimmed down face.  MooniniteZ win, MooniniteZ go to 4-2, there shall be peace in Israel.” With predictions like that, there will NEVER be peace in Israel. (4 for 10, YOU LOST)

So, to sum it all up, Sean’s bad at predicting things. SEE YOU ALL WEEK 7!





– Quick note – FUCK Y’ALL (REVISED)


This guy is smug as shit, as he helps take down the Bulldogs

Main Street Mooninitez EUTHANIZE Whitestone Bulldogs – 9-4-1

MVP: Ben Zobrist – Shit I mean someone test this guy for some Eastern European steroid cocktail or something. 4 Homers, 15 RBI (Yes, 15) with a .455 OBP led the way. That’s pretty good.

LVP: Cliff’s Luck – This guy must of run over a black cat or killed a gypsy or some shit, because he’s 0-5 and really not bad at all. I just don’t get it. Can’t have anything to do with his roster activity no no no no no no no…..

Well, it took some crazy shit hot offense and solid relief pitching, but the Mooninitez continued to pile on the misery for the Bulldogs in a match-up where either team might have beaten lots of teams with the showings they had. Unfortunately for Cliff, he was playing on of the few that he, like, was worse than. This poor guy just can’t catch a break, as he had near 100k performances from his pitchers (JON GRAY hello) with 10 QS along with some pretty nifty offensive numbers. Sean’s Moonmen have shaken off some of the “you killed Oscar Taveras” bad mojo from last season, and are really starting to reap the benefits.

Next Week: Mooninitez head over to take on the Cuban Missiles, while The Bulldogs are gonna continue their search for win 1 against the Runner Up Curse ™ holder Barnegat Banana Slugs.


Robbie Cano CLEARLY is doing some things.

Springfield Isotopes defeats Point Loma X-Rays – 8-3-3

MVP: Robbie Cano – With 4 homers and 9 RBI, Cano is back, dontcha know?

LVP: David Price – He PROBABLY wasn’t the worst player this week, but I will say this dude needs to get it going ASAP if Odom wants to contend. Here’s what his last 2 starts against the Yankees (THE FUCKING YANKEES) looked like: L L

The Topes have continued to pull their way back to respectability for the 2nd consecutive week with a win over a playoff team in the X-Rays. Neither team really lit the world on fire, but the real difference here was the Isotopes pitching staff, posting a near record 11 saves and approaching the 100k mark. Offensively outside of Cano, there was really not much to speak of, so I really won’t at this point. It has to be asked if the suspensions and crazy shell game offense of the X-Rays are really taking a toll on the production that this team has week to week.

Next Week: The Isotopes take on The People’s Champs, while The X-Rays work to right the ship against the Trout Fishing Club (get it?)


America’s favorite underachieving pitcher treats us to quite a week.

River City Cuban Missiles CRUSH Bad Drakepuns – 8-2-4

MVP: Jeff Samardzija – You wouldn’t know it, but this dude had a nice little 18k 2 QS performance. Nice.

LVP:  Connor – Just because.

Defending Champ Cuban Missiles do the rest of the league a solid and take down the somehow top spot Altuves, in really what was a very balanced performance from both teams. Despite all of the bluster about how the Missiles conducted their business in the offseason, they currently lead the league in power numbers, and are doing so in a very balanced way. The Puns got yet another strong week from Jose Quintana and some of his other pitchers, but really it wasn’t enough because Lobman’s guys were just a bit better. And really, that’s good for everyone. If you think about it.

Next week: Cuban Missiles welcome the Mooninitez back to Earth, while the Altuves will do their best to deal with the RESURGENCE.


Brandon Belt, pictured with his brother Brian Belt, help take down the Slugs in week 5.

Pine Lake Peoples Champs Salted the Barnegat Banana Slugs 6-5-3

MVP: Brandon Belt – Great week from an underrated player – Basically what you get when you play Cincy and Colorado in a 7 day week. Good times.

LVP: Sonny Gray – 7 Earned giving up 11 hits to the Mariners is GENERALLY a bad thing. I’m sure R-Mac doubly enjoyed that one.

Picture this: heading into the Sunday Night game (Yankees vs Sawxxx), you have a 6-5-3 disadvantage, so you really have a shot. ALL YOU NEED is a triple or a steal. One of those stats could keep you in the above .500 club. You have 2 guys going and your opponent has none. Ok, so I just need a triple or a steal from………… Brian McCann or David Ortiz? SHIT. Runner Up CURSE ™ Runner Up CURSE ™ Runner Up CURSE ™ Runner Up CURSE ™ Runner Up CURSE ™ Runner Up CURSE ™ Runner Up CURSE ™ Runner Up CURSE ™

Next Week: Will the Runner Up CURSE ™ lead the Slugs to be the first team to lose to the Bulldogs? MAYBE. Also, The Peoples Champs get a fun little matchup with the T’s Topes.





Steven Wright pitches the Resurgence into a Week 5 Victory. Wait.

Rojo’s Resurgence (re)Surged past the Ocean Gate Trout whatevers – 7-5-2

MVP: Steven MOTHERFUCKIN Wright – How about a clinching CG win when your team needed it most? Wright did some major damage to Heroy and his trout club by tossing 9 innings of 7k ball in a win.

LVP: Todd Frazier – Look, I got Toms River pride and all (Note: I don’t), but Frazier couldn’t buy a base this week. .185 OBP is weak despite the homer. There may have been worse players, but I dislike Frazier so there.

Basically, all that needs to be said was the OG’s were leading going into the Sunday Night Game (geez that game was important), and all they needed was for Steven Wright to not have a great game. Well, Wright threw a CG 7k win (as noted) and really crushed all of Heroy’s hopes as we watched him anguish on the chat. A fun time was had by most, Heroy being the main exception.

Next Week: The Resurgence will hope to continue this Cinderella run against the Bad Drakepuns, and The Fishing Club of Sadness will match up against Odom’s X-Ray roster carousel.

– Lobman


Power Rankings – Consolidated for Time Edition

Connor is the King of the Mountain – BUT FOR HOW LONG?

– Well, I’m sorry people. It seems that in the wake of my incredibly busy life (laziness), I neglected to post a Power Rankings, as is my every-other week duty. This was a very regrettable thing, because I was really hoping to praise Connor and his Drakepuns for a very admirable few weeks ahead of our match-up, which I will not now because its fucking Thursday and we’re in a battle. So I digress, and will make a quick little Power Rankings for those of you who are just DESPERATE for rankings. I know I am:

The Contenders

  1. Connor’s Drakepuns (3-1)
  2. Rojo’s Resurgence (3-1)
  3. Point Loma X-Rays (2-1-1)

What a weird and fascinating world we live in. It feels like only last year (it was) that these two were both on the bottom of the league, floundering along dreaming of success in 2016. Well, that dream has come true through the first month, as both teams put together very successful 3-1 records. Connor has a team name (which I will not speak of), and it’s based off maybe the best player that everyone’s tried to trade for like 100 times, Mr. Jose Juan Carlos Sergio Altuve. (Note: those middle names are made up). Rojo certainly has a resurgence going so far in 2016, and he’s done it with incredible balance. Seriously, look it up, because I’m not really going to expound on it much more than that. LOOK AT THOSE HOLDS, too. On the back end of this one is Mike Odom and his Lovely named Point Loma X-Rays. I love names that I could speak on and not get aggravated as hell. The X-Rays (See, its great) took a HUGE hit this week with Dee Gordon’s obvious steroid suspension, so we’ll see how losing your most important player will hamper his speed demon production. Also, I think ¾ of his team is hurt. Moving on…

The Middlers

  1. Barnegat Banana Slugs (2-2)
  2. Pine Lake People’s Champs (2-2)
  3. Ocean Gate Fisherman Club (2-2)
  4. Main Street Mooninitez (2-2)
  5. River City Cuban Missiles (1-1-2)

There are really too many teams here for me to write about, and I promise in the future I will be more invested in the process but GEE GOLLY these are a lot of .500 teams. This league has gotten so confusing that you have no idea who’s gonna win one week to the next! Maybe you all think you do, but you don’t, so there. Quick highlights for each team over the course of the month? Slugs – Story of course. People’s Champs – He got some pitching. Fishing Club – Rizzo 😦 . Mooninitez – Velazquez is a nice story. Missiles – Harper always. GOOD SUMMARY.

The Losers

  1. Springfield Isotopes (1-2-1)
  2. Whitestone Bulldogs (0-4)

It gives me no pleasure to put these to nice guys in the bottom rung of the league, but lets face it, someone has to be there, right? There’s not a whole lot of nice things to say right now about the Isotopes, but things may be looking up after a very positive victory over the Slugs last week, and I think they’re winning this week so far so hey maybe he’s righted the ship. But currently The Topes are the 9th best team in the league. Cliff’s Bulldogs are maybe the most confusing team to figure out this year, as they’re incredibly balanced and frustrating to face, yet are 0-4. If I cared enough, I would investigate further. I’ll just note that he’s made 18 roster moves, which is maybe not enough to compete in this league.

ONTO WEEK 5, Already in progress…..


Power Rankings – Consolidated for Time Edition