2019’s 10 teams in 10 days: #2 Astoria Isotopes


2018 RECORD:  13-4-1

PROJECTED 2019 RECORD:  9-8-1, 3rd place.  These guys are still gonna ding a lot of dongs, but the pitching is sus and there’s certainly plenty o’ fellas here on the wrong side of the aging curve overall.



BEAR MINIMUM BLOVIATION:  FINALLY, for I believe the first time since I’ve joined this league, the Astoria Isotopes made some noise in the postseason (BACKYARD BRACKET UNTIL IT STICKS). And they were plenty noisy in securing the all-important-for-future-trash-talk-purposes victory over Lobman and the Bad Dudes, and then they flat out ran out of gas in the BCS against the BDSliderz (more on them tomorrow). Blame an Aaron Judge injury or blame the Bears for loading up Lacey w/ talent if you want but the fact of the matter is the Khris Davis’ and Nolan Arenados just plain sucked on the big stage. The Isotopes will be looking for more out of those guys this year + a healthy Judge + I guess the bare minimum required pitching? The blog expects this team to both hit their fair share and give up their fair share of dongs…… time shall tell where that shakes out when the BYB settles, but I guess we see them at least joining the beautiful dance.



PROJECTED BACKYARD SURPRISE STUD HITTER:  1B Miguel Cabrera – This league has a wholeee lotta fun telling the ‘Topes they should drop Miggy but on the real I think he can still put up a top 10 1B season in an OBP league such as this. So I say he maybe does that one last time, or maybe he just seems on pace for that or something similar and then they can trade him to Shane. Everybody wins.  

PROJECTED BACKYARD SURPRISE DUD HITTER:  1B Matt Olson – This one’s a cheapy but we are taking it, with the ole’ hammate bone removal surgery you’ve sidelined Matty O for quite a bit. Worse yet when he returns the power is likely to not return with him, not right away, so now you’ve got Matt Olson Without Power which was the only thing Matt Olson was ever good for anyway. GOT DUD WRITTEN ALL OVER HIM.




PROJECTED BACKYARD SURPRISE STUD PITCHER:  SP Dallas Keuchel – I mean my assumption here is that @ some point Keuchel will sign with some sorta contender on a one year deal or some shit and then WHO KNOWS, maybe he racks up a few nice starts or a whole-ass nice season. I think I get to declare ANY positive stats a surprise since he’s currently sitting at home without a team. Nice loophole there.  

PROJECTED BACKYARD SURPRISE DUD PITCHER:  SP German Marquez – This format was a terrible terrible mistake and I can’t wait until I’m done with these fucking previews but yea ONCE AGAIN disclaimer, I don’t think Marquez will be unusable or something. I DO think people were going a bit nuts over him based entirely off like 90 something 2nd half innings (1st half FIP 4.44) and I DO also note that this guy pitches in Coors and very much succumbs to its effects (4.74 home ERA). So yea it’s all fun and games owning a Rox pitcher until he’s on a homestand in a two start week during the BYB. Or something. This guy’s a bit of an enigma even without the Coors shit, but best of luck to the ‘Topes and by that I mean worst of luck fuck them. Honorable Mention: Kyle Freelandwho just plain sucks.

2019’s 10 teams in 10 days: #2 Astoria Isotopes

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