2018 Troll Series: Volume 1…..well maybe the only volume

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The 2017 Troll Series happened and it was a beautiful thing and posts were written about just about every team in the league BUT, now it is 2018 and I don’t want that many troll posts.  So the challenge became, how does one devise a troll post that covers every gotdamned team in the league all it once. And the answer was simple:  TROLL WITH TRUTH. These days the harshest league-wide judgment is reserved for declaring a winner of each and every fucking trade that goes through the league office, no matter how insignificant it may be. So in keeping with that theme, I now present to you TOP TEN WORST TRADES OF 2017. Albeit with some rules so each team gets properly roasted.

The Rules:

  • I will be picking each team’s worst individual trade and then ranking those trades from least terrible to most terrible. Ergo every team shall have their worst trade in my humble and correct opinion broadcasted here (as well as some of their dishonorable mentions). Otherwise this might just be 10 morning boner trades and who wants to look at that.
  • For the most part I am trying to avoid hindsight. Hindsight may be 20/20 but so is my foresight.
  • For the most part (FOR THE MOST PART) I will try and avoid prospect trades, unless it is something truly egregious. Because prospects don’t do shit until they actually do shit. Sometimes you can disagree with a team’s valuation of their own prospect (i.e. what they gave the guy up for) but STILL that guy could end up going for a drive in the DR or something and never producing for his new club. Although to cite that sort of thing I would be violating the avoiding hindsight rule above. Alright let’s just get to the thing…

 

BUT BEFORE I DO…… a few potential 2018 Troll Posts that probably never see the light of day cuz I am too lazy to write them:

  • “Why Trevor Story Is Probably Still Overrated”
  • “Preaching How Unbiased You Are Because You Won’t Call An Insane Presidency Insane Doesn’t Make You Advanced, Also Maitan Is A Bust”
  • “Adam Duvall And Jay Bruce Are Basically The Same Person, Both Are Shittier Than Scott Schebler”
  • “It Is Truly Impressive To Roster 2017 Charlie Blackmon and 2017 Aaron Judge And Only Manage A 6 Seed (Barely)”
  • “Shane Shouldn’t Be Allowed To Trade Without League Approval”
  • “Why The 1990-1993 Buffalo Bills Are A Better Team Than The Bad Dudes”

etc. etc. etc.  Okay now onto the “bad trades” “list”:

 

 

NUMBER 10

The Trade:  

T traded Cody Bellinger, LAD 1B to MOON
T traded Scott Kingery, Phi 2B to MOON
T traded Rhys Hoskins, Phi 1B to MOON
MOON traded Nolan Arenado, Col 3B to T

What Went Wrong:  CODY BELLINGER IS LIKE A TOP 10 DYNASTY PLAYER RIGHT NOW AND HOSKINS IS PROBABLY TOP 50 AND RISING AND KINGERY IS GONNA BE A GREAT POWER/SPEED 2B YOU JUST WATCH AND FUCK YOUUUUU ‘TOPES. I didn’t say this was all gonna be super logical. I am sure Nolan will do fine.

Isotopes Dishonorable Mention:  Trading Kimbrel for Gleyber, that felt like a prospect overpay (my prospect rule doesn’t necessarily extend to Dishonorable Mention, also I am sure I am going to break it any moment now). 

 

NUMBER 9

The Trade: 

RRF traded J.T. Realmuto, Mia C to rmac
rmac traded Jackie Bradley Jr., Bos CF to RRF

What Went Wrong:   Rojo gave up the GREAT J.T. Realmuto (our league’s top catcher in 2017 according to ESPN Player Rater) for suckass Jackie Bradley Jr. (24th best CF according to ESPN Player Rater) is WHAT WENT WRONG. I dunno getting the RRF to trade is like fucking pulling teeth it seems.

RRF Dishonorable Mention:  I dunno they traded away Ozzie Albies once, ALBIES IS GREAT NOBODY SHOULD HAVE TRADED HIM.

 

NUMBER 8

The Trade:  

RRF traded Matt Kemp, LAD RF to rmac
RRF traded Yu Darvish, FA SP to rmac
rmac traded George Springer, Hou RF to RRF
rmac traded Yasiel Puig, LAD RF to RRF
rmac traded Rafael Devers, Bos 3B to RRF

What Went Wrong:  This is a tough one because the then-Punchouts-now-Warriors DID get top talent back in Yu Darvish, but they may have finally pushed their Pitching First agenda too far on this one. Springer is a stud Puig remains a useful piece and Devers, despite being a filthy Red Sawk, projects to be a well above average fantasy asset as soon as this season. For a team that had plenty of pitching even without Yu, Yu gotta think this was giving up too much.   

Now-named Warriors Dishonorable Mention:  I dunno man their 2017 ledger is pretty clean otherwise.  

 

NUMBER 7

The Trade: 

BBS traded Josh Hader, Mil SP to LTBS
LTBS traded Daniel Vogelbach, Sea 1B to BBS

What Went Wrong:   Anddd here it is, PROSPECT TRADE. The rule is meaningless. LORD this one looks bad, kinda makes me want to put it ahead of the next one but the next one was part of that ill-received championship offense teardown so let’s leave that there.  But EW.  We all know how Lobman’s Shark saga went.  He had to sit there and watch him be terrible for most of the goddamned year before finally (mercifully) giving up on him prior to the playoffs, which lead to unethical PTBNL deals and un-saavy deals for Tyson Ross and hey what do yanno I am basically summarizing this whole goddamned list.  Chris Archer went on to be really really good for Odom (cuz Ryan traded him for Strasburg, FAR MORE DEFENSIBLE) in 2015, before being more like just okay last year, but this year he will probably be good again next year.  Carlos Rodon will maybe be really really good any day now or maybe he will just be like Francisco Liriano, but in any case those two good to great pitchers for that one awful Shark year that did not work out one bit.

Slugs Dishonorable Mention:  Trading Antonio Senzatela for Dominic Smith was a bad trade because I was forced to mention it on this website. 

 

NUMBER 6

The Trade: 

LTBS traded A.J. Pollock, Ari CF to SAD!
SAD! traded Eduardo Nunez, FA SS to LTBS
SAD! traded Kevin Maitan, Atl SS to LTBS

What Went Wrong:   Poor AJ Pollock always getting tossed around this league, but yea TOO MUCH PROSPECT HUMPING for Doch in his first year of business. Maitan has already lost his luster and Nunez is Nunez, I don’t blame team SAD! for making this one 100 times out of 100.  FUN FACT:  SAD! also traded Ronald Acuna to acquire Nunez. SAD!

(Edit:  Apparently Doch got a draft pick in this trade and thinks I give a shit. While I WILL enjoy the player he acquired with said draft pick, I don’t give a shit about draft picks and everybody knows that. For all I know he could have used it on Mike fucking Zunino or something.)

BackdoorSliderz Dishonorable Mention:  The haul given up to get Acuna is probably a weeee bit of an overpay, especially because ONCE AGAIN Fernando Tatis Jr.  is going to the be the top prospect next year. Gimme the SS over the OF any day, “generational talent” OF be damned.  

 

NUMBER 5

The Trade:  

T traded Matt Moore, Tex SP to XYZ
T traded Tyler Naquin, Cle CF to XYZ
XYZ traded Khris Davis, Oak LF to T

What Went Wrong:   The X*Rayz are always fast and furious traders and with that you are gonna have a few missteps, I certainly believe they “win” more than they “lose” with these things. HOWEVER Moore kinda sucks and Naquin kinda sucks and Khris Davis kinda just socks dongs year afer year after year.

X*Rayz Dishonorable Mention:  Didn’t love them trading Ozzie Albies (who is great) for fuggin Hernan Perez and Steven Wright (neither are great), didn’t love giving up a stock as high as it will ever be Matt Olson for Jorge Mateo (though I now love Mateo)

 

NUMBER 4

The Trade: 

MOON traded Andrew McCutchen, SF CF to rmac
MOON traded James Paxton, Sea SP to rmac
rmac traded Kyle Seager, Sea 3B to MOON
rmac traded Tim Beckham, Bal SS to MOON
rmac traded Michael Wacha, StL RP to MOON

What Went Wrong:   YEESH what was I doing here. I know I was trying to purge everyone that failed me in my playoff matchup so I believe at one point I wanted just to straight up McCutchen for Kyle Seager, and yet somehow I end up accepting a proposal where I just THROW IN James Paxton for fucking Michael Wacha and Tim Beckham. That is a tough one to make sense of.

Babadooks Dishonorable Mention:  Trading Victor Robles (and Roman Quinn) for Keon Broxton doesn’t look very good right about now, one could also say I’ve given up a few prospects a bit freely but SO WHAT.

 

NUMBER 3

The Trade: 

MOON traded Eduardo Nunez, FA SS to SAD!
SAD! traded Ronald Acuna, Atl CF to MOON

What Went Wrong:   HINDSIGHT TRADE. Because rules are meant to be broken. Obviously this one looks more horrible now than it did then but I DID MY RESEARCH and knew what I was getting, the Trout Fishing Club shoulda done theirs.

Fishing Club Dishonorable Mention:  While we are doing hindsight trades they also traded Albies for AJ Reed, also traded Rhys Hoskins as part of a PACKAGE for Joe Jimenez. Also trading Buster Posey for Josh Bell and Clint Frazier doesn’t look great now that the Fishing Club literally don’t have a fucking catcher.

 

NUMBER 2

The Trade: 

T traded Trevor Rosenthal, STL RP to RCBD
RCBD traded Freddie Freeman, Atl 1B to LTBS

What Went Wrong:   OH WAS THIS FROM 2016? I DO NOT CARE BECAUSE I AM STILL NOT OVER IT. Because it is from 2016 (and because the Morning Wood are more prolific in their missteps) I will leave this one at #2, but it remains so colossally fucking awful that I want it on a 2017 worst trades list even if it wasn’t actually from 2017. Shame on everyone that stood by and watched it happen.

Bad Dudes Dishonorable Mention:  AS FOR 2017 TRADES, Carlos Martinez Mitch HanigerVlad Guerrero Jr. for Yoenis Cespedes Jharel Cotton feels like it hasn’t aged great. Also he traded Dylan Bundy for Francisco Rodriguez last February and K-Rod is so olddddd and Bundy is (still) full of promise (maybe).

 

NUMBER 1

The Trade: 

WOOD traded Noah Syndergaard, NYM SP to rmac
WOOD traded Carson Fulmer, CWS SP to rmac
rmac traded Brandon Belt, SF 1B to WOOD
rmac traded Felix Hernandez, Sea SP to WOOD

What Went Wrong:   AND A FULL PIVOT BACK TO THE “NO HINDSIGHT” RULE. Just to make this “column” if you will as frustrating of a read as possible. Obviously Syndergaard got injured last year and gave rmac little to nothing but AT THE TIME of trade he was coming off a prettttty brilliant 2016 and the Morning wood still parted with him for fucking Brandon Belt and a washed up King Felix. Also 24 hours earlier I offered Joey Votto for Syndergaard and it was declined about 15 minutes before this trade was processed. So yea. But really this isn’t about picking any one QTCMW trade, pick your own personal favorite and put it in here. If it wasn’t for me handing this guy catchers for free and good prospects I don’t know where he would be (in the same spot I guess).

Morning Wood Dishonorable Mention:  God IS THERE A CHARACTER LIMIT FOR DISHONORABLE MENTION? Packing Sano and Lindor (and Harvey but whatever) in a trade was bad, acquiring Robbie Ray from Odom and then trading him BACK to Odom 1.5 months later for Christian Arroyo Jorge Bonifacio Chris Tillman was bad (MY GOD WHAT WAS THIS), trading Whit Merrifield for Starling Marte but inexplicably throwing in Vlad Jr. was bad, Kyle Seager for Carson Fulmer was bad (had already traded away Fulmer above, you see), Gleyber Torres for K-Rod and Frankie Montas I wouldn’t term good, ditto for Brent Honeywell for Ender Inciarte, and at this point maybe I am just being too hard on the ole’ erections but still yea just do a bit better going forward please.

 

 

So there you have it folks, no real surprise about the particular TEAM in the top spot but really I want to commend the league. For this troll post was harder to write than I thought it was gonna be, most teams make mostly sound decisions in the trade game (hiccups can happen). LOOKING FORWARD TO TRADING WITH YOU ALL THIS SEASON, if I feel like it, which I may at some point but also may not. You can always trade with Odom at least.

 

 

babadook-06

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2018 Troll Series: Volume 1…..well maybe the only volume

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