WEEK 16 SAW THE NL KINDA GET BACK ON ITS GAME, WITH THE ONLY NL TEAM TO LOSE BEING THE MORNING WOOD BECAUSE DUH. IT ALSO SAW THE MATCHUPS BREAKING IN A WAY THAT MIGHT MAKE FOR MAXIMUM CARNAGE IN WEEK 18. SO MUCH SO THAT I AM NOT SURE I WILL BE ABLE TO FOLLOW IT WHEN I SUMMARIZE THE MATCHUPS BELOW, BUT I WILL TRY I GUESS. AND THEN WE WILL HAVE TO GET PAST WEEK 17 FIRST. BIG MATCHUPS ALL AROUND FROM HERE ON OUT, FIRST LET US DISCUSS 16……
Carlos Santana – After disappointing with the HR numbers pretty much all season and being publicly put on the trade block by Lacey Twp at least a couple of times, Santana responds with a 4 HR week in an important late season matchup. KOOKY GAME, this fantasy baseball. Marcel Ozuna – No wait this is Ozuna once again, THE SANTANA PICTURE STAYS THOUGH. 8/27, 6 Rs, 5 2Bs, 1 3B, 1 HR, 10 RBIs, .387 OBP
LVP: Wil Myers – Myers with a very poor performance (presumably) RIGHT around the time that the Isotopes were furiously shopping him at the deadline. I have no idea if they actually were but I feel like they could have been, things I’ve seen in the chat etc. etc. Anyways Myers didn’t do good here. 2/17, 1 R, 1 2B, 2 RBIs, .200 OBP
BDSliderz Hitter Of Note: Carlos Santana (9/26, 9 Rs, 4 HRs, 5 RBIs, .469 OBP).
BDSliderz Pitcher Of Note: Jacob DeGrom continues to delight his fantasy owner, as his fantasy owner is also a sad saddddd Mets fan (14 IP, 4 ER, 18 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 2.57 ERA).
Isotopes Hitter Of Note: VERY DOWN WEEK for the ‘Topes but at least Mike Moustakas is still hitting the ball very well (5/21, 4 Rs, 2 HRs, 7 RBIs, .250 OBP).
Isotopes Pitcher Of Note: Also German Marquez continues to pitch very well on all these different times that the ‘Topes have added and then dropped him (7 IP, 2 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 2.57 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: I mean sure I listed the score in a serious manner up above but make no mistake LACEY REALLY DID A FUCKING NUMBER ON THE ‘TOPES, who picked an inopportune time to forget that chicks dig the long ball. This was the first time the ‘Topes didn’t have double digit HRs SINCE WEEK ONE folks, which is somewhat impressive. Equally impressive is the across the board offensive domination seen from the BackdoorSliderz in this one: 53 Rs, 23 2Bs, 3 3Bs, 17 HRs, 49 RBIs, 7 SBs, .3517 OBP. Very strong numbers across the board there, and the proof of that lies in the fact that the ‘Topes weren’t able to top any of ’em. The bats went quiet in Astoria that night. And by “that night” I mean for 7 consecutive days and nights. Fewest Runs in the league for Astoria in Week 16 (30) also worst OBP (.3013), also shitty RBIs (35) total . OH WELL. Going forward, Lacey Twp. lands in uhhh Rojoville for a YUGE matchup with the Renegade Force. A loss to RRF and Rojo gains the pivotal season series sweep so A GAME TO WATCH. Oh and the Isotopes are hosting the OGTFC and looking to put the nail in their 2016 coffin. BEST MAN SCHMEST SCHMAN.
Next Week aka This Week: BDSliderz @ RRF (#5 v. #7), Isotopes vs. OGTFC (#6 v. #8)
MVP: Andrew McCutchen – Cutch was on his way to a solid but unspectacular week until Sunday rolled around, and on Sunday he PUT THE RRF TO BED with a 3 HR performance. 6/21, 7 Rs, 5 HRs, 9 RBIs, .400 OBP ***MVP OF THE WEEK***
LVP: Joey Gallo – Not muchhh outta Gallo in Week 16, as he continues to straddle that .200 or so batting average line all goddamned season. 3/14, 2 RBIs, .313 OBP
MooniniteZ Hitter Of Note: Steven Souza finally putting together a season that can make the Rays feel a wee bit better about that terrible deal he came over in (7/25, 5 Rs, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 4 RBIs, 3 SBs, .400 OBP).
MooniniteZ Pitcher Of Note: James Paxton seems to be back to business and this is good news considering how not back to business McCullers has been AND NOW HE IS ON THE DL OH KEWL (13 IP, 0 ER, 18 Ks, 2 QS, 2 Ws, 0.00 ERA).
RRF Hitter Of Note: A tough week for the RRF offense and Kyle Schwarber tried his hardest to help and ended up traded for his troubles (5/11, 2 Rs, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 5 RBIs, .538 OBP).
RRF Pitcher Of Note: Jesus I didn’t even know about this one til now, but HAVE YOURSEL A GAME Masahiro Tanaka (8 IP, 1 ER, 14 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.13 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: And with that, THE SOON TO BE RELOCATED (as long as Rojo stops disappointing me, you brought this loss upon yourself) MANCHESTER MOONINITEZ clinch a bye in this year’s playoffs. So it’s like winning twice, cuz fuck Manchester and fuck Rojo for dillydallying on getting me outta there. And also quite frankly it’s going to be really hard for the MooniniteZ to drop the #1 seed but let’s leave that intact for drama’s sake. This victory was achieved by AS USUAL playing RRF tough in the Holds cat and FOR A CHANGE AT LEAST LATELY pitching well (99 Ks, 8 Ws, 3.012 ERA after posting a 5.629 ERA in Week 15). And even with the 4-1-2 edge in the pitching cats this one came down to the weekend with many an offensive cat up for grabs. But from Friday through Sunday the Mooninitez did 22 Rs 9 HRs 21 RBIs, (thanks Cutch), and the Renegade Force did 17 Rs 3 HRs 19 RBIs and that’s how The Bye Was Bought folks. In Week 17 the MooniniteZ will look to halt a SEASON HIGH win streak in Barnegat while at the same time clinching the #1 seed, so the work is not done. Rojo’s Renegade Force will need to rebound in a must-win battle against the BackdoorSliderz, a win gets them the all important SSS. EVERY MATCHUP IS IMPORTANT WEEK 17 IS FUN.
Next Week aka This Week: MooniniteZ @ Banana Slugs (#1 v. #2), RRF vs. BDSliderz (#8 v. #5)
MVP: Ryan Zimmerman – The Zimm Mannnnn does it once again, as he continues the renaissance season that continues to help the Slugs continue to win. Continually. 7/20, 5 Rs, 1 2B, 4 HRs, 9 RBIs, .381 OBP
LVP: Logan Morrison – Logan Morrison I would say YA BLEW IT but yanno, I am not sure how invested anyone is in the Morning Wood season at this point. So carry on. 1/12, 1 RBI, .154 OBP
Banana Slugs Hitter Of Note: Johnny fucking Schoop keeps Schoopin along, a really damn fine season for this guy (6/22, 6 Rs, 1 2B, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs, .370 OBP).
Banana Slugs Pitcher Of Note: Jon Gray did pretttty good in Week 16 despite no wins to show for it, particularly in his visit to Washington to take on that tricky Nats offense (12 IP, 5 ER, 14 Ks, 1 QS, 3.75 ERA).
Morning Wood Hitter Of Note: In the brightest news maybe ever received in Q-Tip City HEY LOOK JD Martinez seemed to like his new digs last week (7/30, 7 Rs, 5 HRs, 12 RBIs, .281 OBP).
Morning Wood Pitcher Of Note: And also Zack Greinke did SO GOOD that the Morning Wood must be convinced these good times shall last forever and he was not traded and I guess now he is the (baby) face of this franchise (15 IP, 3 ER, 15 Ks, 2 QS, 2 Ws, 1.80 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: I mean I really just don’t know how many times I can write about the Pre-Noon Erections losing another week, but let’s give it a go. THE BARNEGAT BANANA SLUGS ARE ON FIRE FOLKS, seemingly playing their best baseball right around the best time in the year to do so. This one makes it 5 straight and while I am sure there was times it maybe seemed in doubt, to me it was probably never really in doubt. The Slugs pitched a gem with 8 QS 8 Ws (tied for league high) and a 2.641 ERA (league high). The Bonerz had a 5.090 ERA. The Slugs failed to reach the 40 RBI plateau that I declared a thing but so did a bunch of other teams in Week 16, the Bonerz actually were pretty good in that department with 49 RBIs. All in all just too uneven a performance from Q-Tip City to grab that elusive third win, especially from a team as locked in as Barnegat. The Banana Slugs will look to set a 2016 league high with a sixth straight win in Week 17, one that could set them up for the possibility of the #1 seed and would certainly go a long way towards securing at least one of the two byes for their team. AS I STATED ABOVE I always figured Barnegat would get their 5th straight win and am prepared for the challenge thusly. As for the last-place Morning Wood, they take on the second-to-last place Titans in Week 17. OKAY SO NOT EVERY MATCHUP IS IMPORTANT, THIS IS THE ONLY ONE THOUGH.
Next Week aka This Week: Banana Slugs vs. MooniniteZ ( #2 v. #1), Morning Wood @ Titans (#10 v. #9)
MVP: Yoenis Cespedes – Yo did a littttttle bit of everything in Week 16, everything THAT IS except steal a base. A week without JROLLS is a sad week indeed. NO JROLL HERE. 9/27, 5 Rs, 2 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 1 HR, 5 RBIs, .379 OBP
LVP: Cam Bedrosian – Cam Bedrosian BAD BULLPEN WORK. VERY BAD BULLPEN WORK. 1.1 IP, 6 ER, 1 Ks, 40.50 ERA
Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note: Rougned Odor out here trying to pull up his shit-tastic OBP one week at a time (8/24, 5 Rs, 1 2B, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs, .385 OBP).
Bad Dudes Pitcher Of Note: Craig Kimbrel recorded 7 of his 8 outs in Week 16 via the strikeout LETS MAKE A NOTE OF IT (2.2 IP, 0 ER, 7 Ks, 1 Save, 0.00 ERA).
Titans Hitter Of Note: Christian Yelich had a reallllll good week in a losing effor (10/29, 9 Rs, 5 2Bs, 3 HRs, 8 RBIs, 1 SB, .406 OBP).
Titans Pitcher Of Note: Yu Darvish, on the other hand, got himself massacred by the Marlins (3.2 IP, 10 ER, 5 Ks, 24.55 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: What could have been, if the Titans weren’t so banged up and didn’t hand other teams free wins earlier in the season which makes their current games all but meaningless. What could have. been. The Titans limped into Week 16 with aces hitting the DL left and right, and in the end I am going to credit that for the Bad Dudes razor-thin 4.537 to 4.539 ERA victory. BUT THE BAD DUDES ALSO WON OTHER CATEGORIES, let us not sell them short. They won Saves 7-3, Saves being a strong point for this team all season and continuing despite their Osuna for Herrera swap (Herrera had 4 Saves last week for the Royals are HOT). And the Bad Dudes put up a real solid offensive line, just reallll solid: 49 Runs (tied for 3rd best of the week), 21 2Bs (best in week), 2 3Bs, 17 HRs (tied for best in week), 51 RBIs (2nd best in week), .3582 OBP. The steals still lagged behind, with only 2, but the Bad Dudes were able to go 6-1 on the offensive side and with the Titans pitching staff a-hurtin that was more than good enough. STEAL MORE BASES THOUGH DUDES. With this win behind them the Bad Dudes move on to a SOMEWHAT BIG Week 17 matchup with Point Loma, a mere half game separating the two teams. With this loss behind them the Titans are basically in the same spot they were in already, they now take on the 10th place team and maybe give that team a glimmering hope of a 3rd win before the year is done. MAYBE. I mean like only if they don’t really pay attention due to it not mattering for anyone if they pay attention.
Next Week aka This Week: Bad Dudes @ X-Rayz (#3 v. #4), Titans vs. Morning Wood (#9 v. #10)
2017 WEEK 16 MATCHUP OF THE WEEK, SPONSORED BY THIS KEWL GAME OF THE WEEK THING THAT I JUST STOLE OFF GOOGLE IMAGES….MAYBE I NEED TO CHANGE THIS TO GAME OF THE WEEK. 2017 WEEK 16 GAME OF THE WEEK
MVP: Corey Seager – ‘Twas a bottom o’ the 11th double from Seager that tied this matchup up and gave the OGTFC YET ANOTHER TIE and so he is your MVP here. Curse you, Corey Seager. Curse you. 11/25, 5 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 3 RBIs, .481 OBP
LVP: Mark Trumbo – Mark Trumbo was abominable. No its ands or buts about it. And then yesterday he got put on the DL. BET THE X-RAYZ WISH IT WAS LAST MONDAY AMIRITE?! 1/21, .091 OBP ***LVP OF THE WEEK***
OGTFC Hitter Of Note: Anthony Rizzo nearrrrrly pulled off the JROLL BUT HE DIDN’T, and he also skipped Sunday’s game with a sore back (7/19, 4 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 HR, 5 RBIs, 1 SB, .571 OBP).
OGTFC Pitcher Of Note: And Gerrit Cole had another one of those lovely two start weeks that he’s been mixing in this season, I certainly recall one against my squad (13 IP, 3 ER, 12 Ks, 2 QS, 2 Ws, 2.08 ERA).
X-Rayz Wood Hitter Of Note: Lorenzo Cain so closeeeee to the JROLL but he was too high and mighty to steal a base last week, there were no JROLLS is what I have been trying to tell you people (11/28, 8 Rs, 1 2B, 1 3B, 1 HR, 3 RBIs, .414 OBP).
X-Rayz Pitcher Of Note: And also Luis Castillo has been pretty fucking lights out thus far, I kinda wish I acquired him as we all should at the moment (13 IP, 4 ER, 8 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 2.77 ERA).
ASSORTED MUSINGS/ANALYSIS: I didn’t break character above to describe the tie with more colorful language but MAN I probably should have, this one was a fucking tough one for X-Rayz fans as the OGTFC once again escape with a tie they have no business escaping with. To do it the needed ELEVEN INNINGS outta the Sunday night game, with Yasiel Puig delivering a crushing RBI (both for Giants and X-Rayz fans) in the 9th to bring this matchup to 6-5-3 and then Corey Seager delivering the DAGGER DOUBLE in the bottom of the goddamned 11th to bring this matchup to 5-5-4 and bring OceanGate another god forsaken tie in their god forsaken season. And LET US ADDRESS THE ASIAN IN THE ROOM, the X-Rayz did indeed choose to sit Ryu in this game in order to protect a slim ERA lead (the X-Rayz won 3.746-3.780) and this did indeed cost them the W when Ryu went out and threw 7 shutout with 7 Ks (the X-Rayz lost Ks 77-74) but I mean c’mon…..Hyun-Jin Ryu we are talking about here. He could have just as easily given up like 5 ER in 4 IP with 2 Ks and I don’t think anybody would have been tooooo shocked, the X-Rayz still won this thing without the extra innings. AND they both were lucky it was even this close, as these were the two lowest RBI totals for the week (the OGTFC won 34-33) and they were also in like a 4 way tie for 2nd fewest HRs (11). So yea, sad that the OGTFC still have a pulse here but thems the breaks. The OGTFC will take their faint pulse to Astoria this week and they reallllly can’t afford a loss, probably can’t even afford one of those ties THEY LOVE SO FUCKING MUCH. The Point Loma X-Rayz will host the River City Bad Dudes in a pivotal game for playoff positioning; the X-Rayz haven’t quite locked up a playoff berth just yet and would be well served to try and win this one to steer them towards winning out (they get the 10th place Morning Wood in Week 18), something that could put them in that 2nd Bye if things break right. DRAMA EVERYWHERE.
Next Week aka This Week: OGTFC @ Isotopes (#8 v. #6), X-Rayz vs. Bad Dudes (#4 v. #3)
TWOOOO WEEKS TO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. THE #1 SEED CURRENTLY NOT QUITE ON THE LINE BUT VAGUELY ON THE LINE AND ALSO CAPABLE OF BEING CLINCHED THIS WEEK. A BUNCH OF OTHER THINGS THAT MAY HAPPEN WITH THE STANDINGS. STAY GLUED TO YOUR SEATS AND YOUR ROSTER LOCK TIMES EVERYBODY.