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Firstly let me just say that the more annoying trades are made the more I absolutely haaaaaaaate trade review, so it may get paired down to like a monthly roundup with a little less talky talky in the future. Frankly it hurts my brain to think about some of these trades that get fired out of a cannon and into the chat and I have spent long sleepless nights pondering what sorts of hideous negotiations might lead to them. The Trade Deadline will likely get hot and heavy and become a good time to bust out some new format but FOR NOW, let us use the old format one last time and yell at Q-Tip City in an effort to get them to stop trading for AT LEAST a few weeks. For the love of god. Brian step in here……

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THE FIRST TRADE (6/16):

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JF16 traded A.J. Pollock*, Ari CF to RCBD
JF16 traded Franklin Barreto, Oak SS to RCBD
RCBD traded Michael Brantley*, Cle LF to JF16
RCBD traded Amed Rosario, NYM SS to JF16

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THE TROUT FISHING CLUB RETURN:

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RF Michael Brantley – 30 year old Indians LF whom wrecked his shoulder which derailed his 2016 and now he is on the comeback trail a wee bit but still injury prone. That’s who THIS guy is. .360 OBP, 13 2Bs, 5 HRs, 24 Rs, 28 RBIs, 7 SBs in 206 ABs thus far this season. All in all PRETTY SUCCESSFUL COMEBACK after injuries limited him to a mere 11 games in 2016. At one time was a dynamic 20-20 threat, that maybe has knocked down to 15-15 (and indeed he went 15-15 in 2015 LOTTA 15s) if he can stay healthy but the IF is always a bit of a big IF. Shades of Grady Sizemore there. (well at the time that I got around to writing this part or whatever). Same number of HRs in about 30 more ABs last season and that was the most ABs he ever had so it is just a matter of WHERE THINGS GO FROM HERE. Compounding the ABs problem is a somewhat crowded Brewers OF once Ryan Braun returns from injury. But hey Domingo has slightly improved his BB% and his K% and that is more than SOME OTHER BREWERS OFs can say so who knows where he goes from here. Whom. Knows.

So yea he is currently on the DL with a fucking sprained ankle (been there my mannn) but I don’t think that will linger too long but also you never know with this guy…

Low Minors SS Amed Rosario – 21.6 year old BIG TIME PROSPECT but you never really know how much the NY media or the Mets fans in the groupchat inflate that fact now do you. Seemingly pretty good though and definitely the Mets top prospect (#8 overall BA, #3 MLB.com, #8 BP). Bat looks legit which is a concern I have previously voiced over SS prospect types, but yes take a look:  .368 OBP, 15 2Bs, 4 3Bs, 7 HRs, 42 Rs, 48 RBIs, 12 SBs in 286 AAA ABs this season, his first taste of AAA. DEFINITELY the guy that someone might most regret parting with in this particular deal. Should have already been up for the Mets but is not up and who knows when they may or may not do it, probably waiting for the exact moment when their fans are most sick of their shit to do it as a desperation move. Could be really really good, CURIOUS PACKAGE to part with him for.  Major League Comparison: Carlos Correa yeaaaaa I said it…..

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THE BAD DUDES RETURN:

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I like JUST discussed this AJ Pollock fucker so let’s just copy and paste that shit:

“CF AJ Pollock – 29.5 year old CF for the DBacks, has been both overrated and underrated a hundred different times by now.  .337 OBP, 12 2Bs, 3 3Bs, 2 HRs, 26 Rs, 11 RBIs, 11 SBs in 154 ABs thus far this season. He was never going to be the 20 HR threat that a lot of FOOLS thought he would be after he popped 20 in 2015, that was an outlier season and his cap is probably the mid teens on a good year. Hits way too many grounders to have power numbers, at about 50% this year. BUT a very good base stealer and can score a lot of runs and can probably end up with enough extra base hits in that home stadium to be a realllll fantasy asset, so long as he can stay healthy. That has been tricky throughout his career.”

So yea he is currently on the DL with some combo of groin issues or quad tightness and yea this always happens with him….

Low Minors SS Franklin Barreto  –  21.25 year old SS prospect for the Athletics andddd I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT BARRETTO AGAIN. Let’s see what I wrote before:

Franklin Barreto.  Barreto is the A’s best prospect according to BA (#40 overall, #52 MLB.com) and is also according to what IIIIIII have heard, more of a future CF than a future middle infielder.  Which changes things in fantasy now does it.  Barreto hit 10 dingers and swiped 30 bags across 462 AA ABs last season, numbers that would play at CF if that is where his eventual future lies.  The speed is for real but, as with most prospects, how the hitting progresses through the higher levels remains to be seen (he did go 6 for 18 with a triple and a homer in 4 AAA games last year so credit for that I guess).

CURRENTLY he sports this line across 64 AAA games:  .311 OBP, 10 2Bs, 4 3Bs, 8 HRs, 35 Rs, 32 RBIs, 3 SBs in 270 ABs. Decent pop outta Franklin but is also striking out 30% of the time in AAA which isn’t ideal. CERTAINLY not a prospect on the level of Amed Rosario, that is certainly not the case. Major League Comparison:  Rafael Furcal is the alleged throwback comparison I have seen, so for modern day players he getttts Elvis Andrus.  

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As you can probably tell from my tone I feel Amed Rosario was given up a bit tooooo easily in this particular deal. Brantley and Pollock have basically been the same person at different times and are both oft-injured and Brantley arguably plays the more scarce position, so yea I am going to have to side with THE OCEANGATE TROUT FISHING CLUB on this one in terms of whom I think got the better end of the deal. Rosario might be a stud in the very very near future and fucking Lobman just up and gives him to the team stocked with studs….THANKS

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THE SECOND TRADE (6/20):

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WOOD traded Kyle Seager, Sea 3B to rmac
rmac traded Carson Fulmer, CWS SP to WOOD

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AND ALSO SOME DUMB DRAFT PICKS. I couldn’t care less about those draft picks so I won’t even look ’em up.

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THE TITANS RETURN:

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3B Kyle Seager  –  29.6 year old 3B for the Mariners, a BELOVED FRANCHISE for the Titans some say. And Seager is a pretty good player to boot:  .330 OBP, 16 2Bs, 1 3B, 7 HRs, 27 Rs, 41 RBIs, 1 SB in 262 ABs thus far this season. Nothing reallllly to sneeze at there, he is not quite at his HR pace from last season (30 HRs in 2016) but that kinda seems to be a function of some bad luck more than anything. All of the numbers seem in line and he is currently 8th among 3B types in RBIs with lots o’ room for HR improvement in the second half. A NICE LITTLE PLAYER. Not the kind you want to necessarily just up and trade for a shitty High Minors starter, is I guess the bush I am beating around.

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THE MORNING WOOD RETURN:

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THIS FUCKING GUY BELOW THAT I HAVE ALREADY WRITTEN ABOUT:

“[High Minors] SP Carson Fulmer – 23 year old RHP prospect for the Chicago White Sox, the 8th overall pick in the 2015 Amateur Draft.  Got rocked over the course of 11.2 major league relief innings last season (8.49 ERA, 5.98 FIP) but did okay in 4 AAA starts (3.17 FIP) but did less okay in 17 AA starts (4.17 FIP).  Control issues have some believing he will never throw enough strikes to start/will end up in a high-leverage bullpen role.  Since this is my first prospect of the new streamlined trade analysis I am excited to compare him to a major leaguer, and that major leaguer isssssss:  Tony Cingrani .  I see a future reliever. ”

TONY CINGRANI AT BEST. Current AAA numbers for Fulmer are as follows:  6-3, 4.41 ERA (5.62 FIP), 46 Ks in 67.1 IP (6.15 K/9). He also walks 4 batters per 9 which ain’t great. He also, again, is a high minors guy. So you are holding this man in a high minors spot…..

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LOOK QTC YOU ARE STARTING TO PUSH YOUR FUCKING LUCK HERE. So yes I side with the TOMS RIVER TITANS here. If you wanna trade folks fine, but we are starting to seriously strain the veto system here when you are just giving away guys that were being drafted as a top 5 3B before the season for Carson fucking Fulmer. Sure Kyle Seager isn’t on the same pace he was on last season but he has not regressed to the level where he is an acceptable 1 for 1 swap for Carson fucking Fulmer, and again no I don’t care about those draft picks. These drafts are prettttty new additions to the league so perhaps we haven’t quite established a value for what the picks are worth but I don’t think they are worth whatever they would need to be for this one not to look pretttttty bad for Q-Tip City. Again FULMER IS A HIGH MINORS GUY AND HE IS NOT GOOD. And this now makes a couple suspect deals in a row and let’s just clean this shit up, I would rather see guys outright dropped then sent to teams for trash at leasttttt in the FA pool there is a waiver system to help avoid shady practices. Let’s be better than this going forward, Bonerz.