WEEK 9 in the books which puts us prettttty officially at the halfway point of the season, and OH MY would you look at that the MooniniteZ stand alone at the top. Let’s see how we got here gentlemen, QUICKLY because I have a music festival to catch and I don’t want to stay at work all day and so expect the witty banter to be kept to a minimum …….just gonna come right out now and say there were no JROLLS in Week 9 and that makes me sad……okay on to the review…….
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Point Loma X-Rayz Continue The Long Painful Humbling of Q-Tip City Morning Wood With Convincing Victory – 10-2-2
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MVP: Elvis Andrus – I dunno how in the fuck Elvis accumulated 10 RBIs last week but TURNS OUT HE DID, and he has 32 RBIs on the season and is now a cleanup hitter or something. 13/25, 7 Rs, 4 2Bs, 1 HR, 10 RBIs, 4 SBs, .571 OBP
LVP: Frankie Montas – Frankie Montas brought nothing to the table and took several things off of it. 4 IP, 7 ER, 2 Ks, 15.75 ERA
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X-Rayz Hitter Of Note: Yonder Alonso is likely the newest success story in the “fly ball revolution” but READ ABOUT IT YOURSELVES (10/24, 8 Rs, 2 2Bs, 3 HRs, 4 RBIs, 1 SB, .500 OBP).
X-Rayz Pitcher Of Note: Andddd Robbie Ray is on FIYA folks, trying to become more than the NL version of Michael Pineda which used to be a bit of an insult but now is less so (9 IP, 0 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1 CG, 0.00 ERA).
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Morning Wood Hitter Of Note: Hey at least new-ish acquisition JD Martinez looks nice and healthy (7/25, 6 Rs, 3 2Bs, 1 3B, 3 HRs, 8 RBIs, .308 OBP).
Morning Wood Pitcher Of Note: And other new-ish acquisition Julio Teheran gave up 10 runs in 2 starts and still came out of it with 2 Ws which is kinda impressive (11.1 IP, 10 ER, 9 Ks, 1 QS, 2 Ws, 7.94 ERA).
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THIS ONE WAS NEVER IN DOUBT FOLKS. Keeping that from last week’s review because this one prrrrrrrobably was never in doubt. Q-Tip City is just having trouble putting together a full week, though they can take solace in the fact that they didn’t score the fewest runs in Week 9 (that distinction goes to the Bad Dudes lolz). What they should NOT take solace in is the fact that they put up a team OBP of .2650 which isssss quite bad. Possibly the worst all season but whom has time to check those sorts of things. As for something that was the BEST all season, the X-Rayz notched 18 SBs in Week 9 to beat their previous 2017 record of 17. They were still only 66% of the way to their all time record of 27 SBs howeva, and in an era of dying speed that one may be tough to touch ever again for THEM and pretty much impossible to touch for anyone else. BUT YEA…..not much in doubt here, QTC pitched to an ERA over 6 and uhhh the X-Rayz didn’t and the X-Rayz notched 2 CGs when zero CGs would have got the job done. They’ll try and win their third in a row in Week 10, the Quarter Chubs will try to avoid losing their 8th in a row.
Next Week aka This Week: X-Rayz v. Renegade Force, Morning Wood v. OGTFC
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MVP: George Springer – The Renegades offense went off this week folks, no way to sugarcoat it, and George Springer was a very big part of that. #analysis. 15/30, 11 Rs, 1 2B, 5 HRs, 9 RBIs, .531 OBP ***MVP OF THE WEEK***
LVP: Salvador Perez – Catching is a difficult job and it takes a toll on a body and we don’t give a shit about that at all for fantasy baseball purposes. 3/21, 3 Rs, 1 2B, 2 RBIs, .182 OBP
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RRF Hitter Of Note: Aaron Hicks has been super good for the Yankees and for fantasy owners alike and DOES IT SHOW THAT I AM MAILING THIS ONE IN (12/27, 4 Rs, 6 2Bs, 10 RBIs, .448 OBP)?
RRF Pitcher Of Note: Ariel Miranda COMPLETE GAME, whatta week for CGs and I still can’t get even one but not complaining just like pointing it out yanno (9 IP, 1 ER, 9 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1 CG, 1.00 ERA).
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Banana Slugs Hitter Of Note: On the positive side for the B Slugs J Don got a full week of ABs in for the first time in a long time and looked like a man making up for lost time (7/24, 5 Rs, 1 2B, 4 HRs, 6 RBIs, .346 OBP).
Was Trevor Story Better Than Aledmys Diaz This Week?: SADLY, yes.
Current Tally: Trevor Story 5, Aledmys Diaz 4.
Banana Slugs Pitcher Of Note: Max Scherzer with one of the prettier CGs of the year in Week 9 (9 IP, 1 ER, 11 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1 CG, 1.00 ERA).
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Good LAWD did the RRF offense come out swinging in Week 9, perhaps miffed by the team’s placement as #9 in the June Power Rankings. With an offense that is looking more and more dangerous as the months go by they have a solid argument that they are actually uhhh, I dunno 7th or something. This one was a slobberknocker all around with the teams battling to the top two weekly totals in Doubles (Slugs won 25-24) and RBIs (RRF won 70-57). Just two offenses really clicking and one of those weeks where the Slugs are probably a bit saddened to have drawn the hottest O in the league, as a lesser opponent might have yielded a Barnegat victory. But a lesser opponent is NOT what was in the cards and an Ariel Miranda Sunday CG kinda closed off a lot of routes to potential different results here, both teams pitched fairly well here but I wanted to talk about the offenses and also I don’t want to talk that much at all for I am busy. Rojo’s Renegade Force will look to stay hot and win their 3rd in a row in Week 10, Barnegat will look to avoid losing their 3rd in a row. DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS.
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Next Week aka This Week: RRF v. X-Rayz, Banana Slugs v. Titans
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MVP: Andrew McCutchen – This was the first week all season where I didn’t kinda hate Andrew McCutchen a little bit and it only took us 9 weeks to get there. 8/20, 8 Rs, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 5 RBIs, .519 OBP
LVP: Jose Abreu – TOUGH WEEK for Jose, I could have given this to Bryce Harper for being suspended for most of it but nahhh Jose earned this one. 2/23, 2 RBIs, .192 OBP
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MooniniteZ Hitter Of Note: Justin Smoak had a nice week that would have looked even nicer had I not benched him for a 3 run HR on Friday (6/23, 4 Rs, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs, .346 OBP).
MooniniteZ Pitcher Of Note: Jimmy Nelson went toe to toe with Clayton Kershaw on Friday night and nobody can take that from him even though his bullpen took away his W and so short story long I will give him another start for Manchester (8 IP, 0 ER, 11 Ks, 1 QS, 0.00 ERA).
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Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note: Domingo Santana did his best to fill in admirably in Bryce’s absence and I would say he did a pretty solid job is what I would say (7/26, 6 Rs, 1 2B, 3 HRs, 4 RBIs, .321 OBP).
Bad Dudes Pitcher Of Note: Alex Cobb on the other hand, you did poorly and that is something you had in common with several other Bad Dudes pitchers last week (5 IP, 9 ER, 3 Ks, 16.20 ERA).
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The Bad Dudes could have used their bad boy Bryce Harper, as the offense here looked LIFELESS for most of the week and by the time they started turning thangs around it was a bit tooooo late. The MooniniteZ jumped out to large leads in Runs (I think the Bad Dudes were in single digits til like Friday), HRs, and RBIs on O and locked up QS and ERA super early on the pitching side. Not long after it was pretty clear Strikeouts and Ws would go to Manchester as well, cuz yanno River City was pitching like shit. POINT IS there was about 7 cats locked up for Manchester by cocktail hour on Saturday and allll the late gains made by River City were not enough to turn around said 7 cats and that was your ball game. I am SURE that was probably your lowest Runs total this season for the Bad Dudes (37) and possibly your lowest RBIs total as well (34), they just didn’t have it in Week 9 on either side of the ball and now they’ve been swept by the MooniniteZ in 2017 and nothing that happens from here on out will be able to change that (I guess a meeting in the playoffs could maybe change it). River City heads to Astoria in Week 10 looking to avoid a third straight loss, while the MooniniteZ host Lacey seeking a 4th straight win (WHICH WOULD BE A 2017 LEAGUE HIGH I AM GUESSING).
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Next Week aka This Week: MooniniteZ v. BDSliderz, Bad Dudes v. Isotopes
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MVP: Carlos Correa – The Astros O must have been humming last week because Correa is basically a coin flip here with Springer for MVP of the week, a coin flip that I decided he lost. 11/28, 8 Rs, 1 2B, 4 HRs, 12 RBIs, .469 OBP
LVP: Jose Quintana – I mean SWEET JESUS JOSE I defended you in spring training and now you’ve made us all look like fools, FOOLS I TELL YOU. Giving you LVP of the week just cuz. 2.2 IP, 7 ER, 4 Ks, 23.63 ERA ***LVP OF THE WEEK***
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Titans Hitter Of Note: Miguel Sano stays killin it (8/21, 4 Rs, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs, .435 OBP).
Titans Pitcher Of Note: Andddd the Titans streamed a Ty Blach CG Shutout which is interesting enough, I guess (9 IP, 0 ER, 4 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1 CG, 0.00 ERA).
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Isotopes Hitter Of Note: Aaron Judge ALSO stays killin it for what it is worth (9/26, 7 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 7 RBIs, 1 SB, .469 OBP).
Isotopes Pitcher Of Note: Andddd the ‘Topes streamed a Edinson Volquez CG Shutout which is EQUALLY interesting enough, I guess (9 IP, 0 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1 CG, 0.00 ERA).
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The Titans continue to climb out of the cellar following a victory in one of our closest matchups (in certain areas) and yet another matchup with dueling CGs and yet another loss for Astoria. That sentence barely worked but I am barely trying. THIS ONE upon first glance came down to a bit of strategy by the Titans to sit Javier Baez for the night game, strategy that was then reinforced by the Cubs doing the same thing. The ‘Topes were looking to steal back OBP with some late-day heroics from Mark Reynolds but he went 1/5 which wasn’t good enough for that at all. Not. At. All. Outside of the narrow OBP battle the Titans were able to escape with hard-fought W in HRs (18 to 16), and outside of the offensive side altogether both teams kinda just battled to see who could have the less shitty ERA (Titans won 4.877 to 5.684). They have some nerve pairing those ERAs with dueling CGs, THERE ARE STARVING CHILDREN IN AFRICA THAT WOULD KILL THEIR OWN MOTHERS FOR A CG. The Toms River Titans travel to Barnegat seeking a 3rd straight victory in Week 10, while the ‘Topes host the Bad Dudes and hope to avoid a 4th straight loss.
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Next Week aka This Week: Titans v. Banana Slugs, Isotopes v. Bad Dudes
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2017 WEEK 9 MATCHUP OF THE WEEK, SPONSORED BY MICROSOFT OFFICE’S WORD ART FEATURE
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MVP: Trea Turner – Without Trea’s triple and his many many steals this week the OGTFC probably lose and that is just the FACTS. 10/30, 5 Rs, 1 3B, 3 RBIs, 5 SBs, .355 OBP
LVP: Kyle Hendricks – Way to fail to deliver TWICE Kyle. TWICE. 9 IP, 9 ER, 8 Ks, 9.00 ERA
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OGTFC Hitter Of Note: Mookie Betts was okay I guess but JUST okay (7/30, 6 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 3 RBIs, 1 SB, .281 OBP).
OGTFC Pitcher Of Note: Since nobody on the staff had multiple QS or Ws lets instead highlight the always really good Andrew Miller whom struck out every batter he faced in Week 9 (2.1 IP, 0 ER, 7 Ks, 2 Holds, 0.00 ERA).
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BDSliderz Hitter Of Note: Jose Altuve presented as FURTHER PROOF that the Astros offense is v good (13/27, 8 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 HR, 4 RBIs, 1 SB .563 OBP).
BDSliderz Pitcher Of Note: Marco Estrada pitched poorly finally and as someone that’s bitter about losing him on a waiver claim I feel I should point it out (3.2 IP, 7 ER, 4 Ks, 15.75 ERA).
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SUNDAY DEVOID OF MAGIC ALERT. This one ended up as the only matchup with potential Sunday night implications, and those all rested on the shoulders of Kyle Hendricks. A quality start and a victory from Kyle coupled with some 0 fers or at least 0 run fers from the OGTFC Sunday night participants and the BDSliderz might have walked outta there with a victory. but NOT TO BE as Hendricks failed to even make it 5 innings, aka he wouldn’t qualify for either, and the OGTFC Sunday night bats grabbed 4 Runs or so to take back that cat as well (46 to 45) and there you have it an 8-5-1 victory for OceanGate in a week marred only by their owner getting married. We here at the blog would like to wish the new Heroys many years of happiness (if such a thing is even possible in marriage) and hope they enjoy their honeymoon and are using their wedding as an excuse to just ramble on a bit here and not have to actually say anything more about the Week 9 matchup because I don’t feel like it. THE OGTFC WON OKAY, and now they’ve won 3 in a row and all you bastards have just let them off the hook. The OGTFC seek their 4th in a row (AGAIN probably would be the high mark for 2017) in Week 10, the Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz will be looking to prevent a different team’s 4th in a row and halt their very first losing streak at 2.
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Next Week aka This Week: OGTFC v. Morning Wood, BDSliderz v. MooniniteZ
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HALFWAY POINT O’ THE SEASON BEHIND US, BEST OF LUCK TO ALL YOU SUCKERS IN THE SECOND HALF AND SEE YOU ALL ON THE OTHER SIDE (OF WEEK 10, WHICH I WILL LARGELY BE IGNORING)….
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