2017 WEEK 7 REVIEW: SADLY THE OGTFC FINALLY WON A GAME EDITION

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WEEK 7 IS IN THE BOOKS. BEFORE WE BEGIN LET ME JUST ADD THAT THERE WAS A TRADE LAST WEEK (EDITOR’S NOTE: AND NOW TWO TRADES! THE SECOND ONE I WILL PROBABLY REVIEW THOUGH) BUT IT WAS POINTLESS AND UNNECESSARY AND I WILL NOT DEMEAN MYSELF OR THIS BLOG BY ACKNOWLEDGING IT ANY MORE THAN I ALREADY HAVE DONE IN THIS VERY SENTENCE. NOW LET US REVIEW SOMETHING THAT IS ACTUALLY WORTHY OF REVIEW…….WEEK 7

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Banged Up Barnegat Banana Slugs Pitch Past Plummeting Q-Tip City Morning Wood  –  9-3-2

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MVP:  Jake Lamb  –  Jake Lambbbbbchop really paced the Slugs sluggers in Week 7, as the only guy out there THAT I KNOW OF that put up double digit RBIs last week.  Nice work Lambchop, now do the right thing and get strep throat this week.  7/17, 7 Rs, 1 2B, 4 HRs, 10 RBIs, .565 OBP     ***MVP OF THE WEEK***     

LVP:  Odubel Herrera    I feel like the Morning Wood keep losing by the largest deficit and also keep having the LVP of the Week and I dunno maybe these things are somewhat related?  3/24, .125 OBP and thatttt be it.     ***LVP OF THE WEEK***

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Banana Slugs Hitter Of Note:  Jose Bautista to his credit also did a fine job in Week 7 as the only other Slugs regular with a +.500 OBP (12/26, 7 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 5 RBIs, .548 OBP).

Was Trevor Story Better Than Aledmys Diaz This Week?:  NO, via injury. 

Current Tally: Trevor Story 3, Aledmys Diaz 4.

Banana Slugs Pitcher Of Note:  Fucking Clayton Richard threw a CG at a point when this matchup was probably wrapped up anyways but still CLAYTON RICHARD CG PEOPLE (9 IP, 1 ER, 6 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1 CG, 1.00 ERA).

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Morning Wood Hitter Of Note:  At least Eugenio Suarez put his LVP week behind him, gives hope for Odubel in Week 8 (8/22, 4 Rs, 3 2Bs, 2 HRs, 5 RBIs, .423 OBP).

Morning Wood Pitcher Of Note:  BACK TO REALITY for AJ Griffin (3.1 IP, 9 ER, 24.30 ERA).

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Another week in the Backyard League, another week where the Morning Wood lose the hardest. At this point it may be time to rechristen them the Morning Flaccid Penises. This one was actually closer than it would appear to be with the 2 tied cats ending up HRs and RBIs, typically categories where a victor is crowned. But it isn’t like these two teams dominated to a draw here, the 10 HRs 37 RBIs each were the second lowest totals in both categories. ONE COULD ARGUE the Slugs offense has been pretty sub-par this season but I wouldn’t want to dive too deep into that, as it would be just asking for them to go off in their Week 8 MooniniteZ matchup. So instead let’s look at the area where the Slugs have excelled in their victories, the pitching game. The BBS put together a nice and balanced overall week on that side in Week 7 with 68 Ks, 1 CG, 6 Ws (despite only 4 QS), 5 Saves, 2 Holds, 3.600 ERA. Across the board solid numbers that will keep you competitive in your fair share of matchups, and against the struggling AM Engorged Genitals these numbers were enough to take every one of those damned categories. So you couple 6 Ws on the pitching side with an OBP of about .360 and a pair of triples, and all of a sudden you’re up to 8 cats in Barnegat’s flavor. Then throw in the fact that the Bonerz only stole a single solitary base and Barnegat tripled that production, and you have your entire margin of victory.  NEITHER SQUAD WAS ALL THAT IMPRESSIVE. The Banana Slugs will look to be more impressive and win their second in a row in Week 8; the Morning Wood will look to avoid a (Cliff-like) 6th straight loss.

Next Week aka This Week:  Banana Slugs v. MooniniteZ (INSERT SOMETHING NEGATIVE ABOUT BRIAN AND/OR AND/OR TREVOR STORY HERE), Morning Wood v. Titans (Just a couple of guys in last place looking to win a matchup, is all this is).

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OceanGate Trout Fishing Club Fucking Finally Get A Win (Sadly), Defeat Point Loma X-Rayz  –  8-4-2

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MVP:  Mike Trout  –  Weekly reminder that Mike Trout is very good.  6/18, 6 Rs, 1 2B, 3 HRs, 8 RBIs, 2 SBs, .552 OBP

LVP:  Lorenzo Cain    LoCain had a LoOBP this week but he still chipped in two steals but that is all he chipped in so LVP!  4/22, 3 Rs, .217 OBP

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OGTFC Hitter Of Note:  Eduardo Nunez came into the week with zero HRs on the season and left the week with 2 HRs on the season (9/24, 5 Rs, 2 2Bs, 2 HRs, 7 RBIs, 2 SBs, .375 OBP).

OGTFC Pitcher Of Note:  Danny Duffy is a guy I still root for and everyone always watches his velocity, and it is indeed down, but he is still mostly getting the job done so take that velocity watchers (7 IP, 0 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 0.00 ERA).

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X-Rayz Hitter Of Note:  Chris Davis SIGHTING, fuckin’ guy came into last week with only 11 RBIs which is sort of ridiculous BILLY HAMILTON HAD MORE (6/20, 6 Rs, 2 2Bs, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs, .310 OBP).

X-Rayz Pitcher Of Note:  Up and down week for Chris Archer, rebounded from a 5 IP 6 ER start against Cleveland to post a QS and strike out 12 against the Yanks (11.1 IP, 9 ER, 18 Ks, 1 QS, 7.15 ERA).

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BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. The OGTFC were finally able to overcome their owner and get a W, and the entire league is worse for it because that W in fact puts Greg in the playoffs at this juncture. Nobody wants that, title defenses are much more fun when they die in the regular season (not sure that’s ever happened before, but it probably has). Unfortunately this one wasn’t even a cheapie, as the Trout Fishing Club amassed some eye-popping numbers on offense and even threw in 80 Ks for good measure. But yea on offense:  62 Rs, 21 HRs, 60 RBIs, 9 SBs, .3922 OBP. The X-Rayz of Point Loma were ill prepared to compete with that production, as one of the two teams that failed to produce an OBP north of .300 and the only team that failed to amass 30 RBIs. Things were so not going Point Loma’s way that it took a 4-1 Sunday rally just to win steals, THEY ALMOST EVEN LOST STEALS PEOPLE. Just think about that. And aside from that the offense let them down, they ended up tied in doubles (17-17) and lost Ks by one and pitched their way to an unfortunate 5.288 ERA (but pitching sucked baseball-wide last week it seems JUICED BASEBALLS). A few things breaking a few different ways and maybe we are celebrating yet another non-W for OceanGate, but their offense was due to carry them to a W all on their own for quite some time. And now they have that elusive first W and now we are left to root for them to miss the playoffs. STEP IT UP TEAMS DOWN THERE. THE WINNING SQUAD HERE WAS IMPRESSIVE. And now the Trout Fishing Club will be looking to win two in a row for the first time in aaaaaaages, while the X-Rayz will be looking to steer out of their skid (0-4-1 after starting the year 2-0) and remain in the playoff picture.

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Next Week aka This Week:   OGTFC v. Isotopes (Soon To Be Married [WHAT A MORON] Man v. Best Man), X-Rayz v. Bad Dudes (X-Rayz looking to make a statement, stop a bit of a stumble).

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MLB: Spring Training-Boston Red Sox at New York Mets
We FINALLY get Harper’s dumb mug off the weekly reviews and unfortunately I have to replace it with a dumb Red Sawk mug

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River City Bad Dudes Fucking Keep Winning (Sadly), Defeat Toms River Titans  –  8-4-2

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MVP:  Xander Bogaerts  –  Getting tired of writing this dude’s name in here so blah blah blah pretty hair blah blah, putting an emoji symbol on your bat is stupid. Also why hasn’t he stolen a base yet? NO GRIT that’s why.  10/24, 5 Rs, 2 2Bs, 3 HRs, 7 RBIs, .481 OBP 

LVP:  George Springer    Bit of a down week for Springer in Week 7 but he will have more uhhh up weeks than down, just gotta dust off the uniform and MOVE ALONG Georgey.  3/21, 2 Rs, 1 2B, 2 RBIs, .182 OBP

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Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note:  Jose Abreu continues to be a solid contributor ever since being called out on the Twitter, the team that called him out has not won since CURSE OF JOSE (10/32, 8 Rs, 1 2B, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs, .333 OBP).

Bad Dudes Pitcher Of Note:  And also Eduardo Rodriguez is improbably rattling off QS after QS after fucking QS these days, provided 2 for the the Bad Dudes in Week 7 (14 IP, 6 ER, 13 Ks, 2 QS, 2 Ws, 3.86 ERA).

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Titans Hitter Of Note:  Just about nobody on the roster was really “of note” in a positive way for the Titans, and that is usually a sign of trouble and so I present to you Javier Baez having an okay week (4/11, 3 Rs, 1 HR, 5 RBIs, .417 OBP).

 

Titans Pitcher Of Note:  Pitching has still been reliable for the Titans and yet PITCHING ISN’T ALWAYS ENOUGH, and so I present to you Stephen Strasburg (13.2 IP, 5 ER, 14 Ks, 2 QS, 2 Ws, 3.29 ERA).

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The Bad Dudes continued their winning ways in Week 7, having last lost in their season opener and at this point looking extremely hungry to return to the BCS (Backyard Championship Series, still trying to make it a thing) for the 3rd straight season. This time the Bad Dudes relied on a balanced attack, combining 91 Ks and 8 Ws with impressive offensive numbers to best a Titans squad that produced a mere SIXTEEN extra base hits…..easily the lowest in the league. It would have taken a lot more than that to make a run at the batting cats, with the Bad Dudes tying the season record with 23 2Bs and adding 4 3Bs (SAVE SOME FOR WHEN YOU NEED THEM) and 11 HRs to boot. The Titans simply couldn’t keep up with the bats, their calling card of a high QS total (10) and low ERA (3.080, best ERA in a week of mostly terrible ERAs) doing little to keep pace in the matchup. The Titans simply had a punchless offense, despite winning OBP, and that lack of punch put them at a severe disadvantage and cost them a chance at a third straight victory. They will look to return to their winning ways in Week 8, as they currently sit amongst a 3 way tie in last place. The Bad Dudes will look to continue NOT LOSING, I for one hope they don’t continue that. I hope they lose. Their owner is a bad dude (pun unintended).

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Next Week aka This Week:  Bad Dudes v. X-Rayz (Always a fun matchup, expect these two chatting by themselves at 11 PM next Sunday night), Titans v. Morning Wood (A “must win” I have seen it termed despite the fact that the three teams tied for “last place” are only 0.5 games out of the 6th seed).

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Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz Win A-Goddamned-Gain, This Time At The Expense Of The Astoria Isotopes  –  7-5-2

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MVP:  Corey Dickerson  –  I don’t know if the Carlos Correa talk that I caught a glimpse of in the chat was in response to him having a good week or what but CARLOS CORREA IS GOOD. Let us all agree that he is good. No need for debate on that.  8/18, 7 Rs, 5 HRs, 9 RBIs, .500 OBP   

LVP:  Manuel Margot    Feels kinda dirty giving an LVP to a guy that notched an all-important 3 bagger but that was literally the only thing he did across 27 ABs.  4/27, 1 3B, .179 OBP 

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BDSliderz Hitter Of Note:  A LITERAL tough break for the BDSliderz here as Freddie Freeman shall be out for a good bit of time with a broken wrist, POSSIBLE TRADE DEADLINE CANDIDATE ALERT (3/10, 5 Rs, 2 HRs, 5 RBIs, .462 OBP).

BDSliderz  Pitcher Of Note:  Fucking Marco Estrada mannnn, I knew Dochney was legit when he beat me to a waiver claim on Marco Estrada because that was a waiver claim I didn’t expect anyone in the league to put in (13.2 IP, 6 ER, 17 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 3.95 ERA).

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‘Topes Hitter Of Note:  Just need to point out that Aaron Judge had a week where the power wasn’t really there and so he decided to steal 2 bases, now has 4 SBs on the year (8/23, 5 Rs, 1 2B, 1 HR, 1 RBI, 2 SBs, .423 OBP).

‘Topes Pitcher Of Note:  Jose Berrios with his best start PROBABLY EVER, might finally be becoming a guy (7.2 IP, 0 ER, 11 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 0.00 ERA).

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TEAM THAT MIGHT BE FOR REAL ALERT. These BackdoorSliderz might be for real, don’t let the name fool you. Dochney took over this team in the middle of a week against a legit Bad Dudes squad and was unable to pull out a victory, but he hasn’t failed to pull out a victory since then and now has Lacey Township sitting pretty as the 2nd seek with the Backyard nearing the regular season’s halfway point. The BDSliderz had to earn this one against a tough ‘Topes team, and they earned it on the hitters side of things by comfortable taking 6 of the 7 cats (and losing SBs 3-2). From there it was simply a matter of edging the Isotopes 76-74 in Ks in order to squeak by with the victory, a victory it would seem they owe to Marco Estrada and his 12 K Sunday performance (the BDSliderz would win the Sunday Ks battle 13-8). Estrada’s gem allowed the BDSliderz to escape with the only cat they would need on the pitching side, sidestepping a league-worst 5.927 ERA and 3 QS in the process. MORE THAN ONE WAY TO WIN A WEEK FOLKS, and now the BackdoorSliderz head into Week 8 having won 4 straight and seeking a 5th. The Isotopes will look to get back to their winning ways and avoid dropping down to .500, #KeepGregMostlyWinless2017.

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Next Week aka This Week:  BDSliderz v. Renegade Force (As the Sliderz seek their fucking 5th W in a row, IMPRESSIVE), Isotopes v. OGTFC (Best Man v. Soon To Be Married [WHAT AN IDIOT] Man).

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2017 WEEK 7 MATCHUP OF THE WEEK, SPONSORED BY THE 1987 RICHARD MARX SONG “HOLD ON TO THE NIGHT”

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Manchester MooniniteZ Outhold And Outclass And Outlast Rojo’s Renegade Force, Win  –  7-6-1

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MVP:  ROYALS RELIEVERS  –  It might be a bit disingenuous to act like I was able to stream my way to a holds victory (even though that’s pretty much what I will do below) as Matt Strahm has been on the team for quite some time and Joakim Soria was added relatively early into the week (Tuesday) BUT the fact is not having to worry about saves allowed us to take our shots downfield, from a holds standpoint. If you pick up what I am putting down. Whatever we won holds. A combined:  3.2 IP, 1 ER, 3 Ks, 4 Holds, 2.81 ERA

LVP:  Julio Urias    ERA was suuuuper ugly on both sides, but was actually a relatively close category until Urias came in late Saturday night and blew it all to hell for the RRF.  2.1 IP, 6 ER, 23.14 ERA   

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MooniniteZ Hitter Of Note:  Joey Votto having a far better first half than what he put together last season, and I am hoping he has the exact same second half (7/27, 6 Rs, 2 2Bs, 2 HRs, 5 RBIs, .375 OBP).

MooniniteZ Pitcher Of Note:  For some reason Derek Holland keeps putting together good starts, and he is now available on a waiver wire near you folks (8 IP,  1 ER, 6 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1.13 ERA).

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Renegade Force Hitter Of Note:  Avisail Garica is out there killing it right now, I bet Figs is super pumped (11/25, 5 Rs, 4 2Bs, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 9 RBIs, .462 OBP).

Renegade Force Pitcher Of Note:  Yu Darvish both dazzled and disappointed, a fine week overall but his failure to garner a QS Sunday evening cost the Renegade Force a tie (12 IP, 3 ER, 16 Ks, 1 QS, 2 Ws, 2.25 ERA).

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I can honestly say that it was most important to me that I won Holds this week, more important than winning the week itself. Because now I can write 300 words blasting the Renegade Force’s SLOPPY strategy, a strategy that I will argue cost them a W on a week in which their offense was on fucking fire. First let’s credit the offense:  62 Rs, 20 2Bs, 2 3Bs, 18 HRs, 61 RBIs, 3 SBs, .3918 OBP. The RRF slapped together a team-cumulative JROLL for the ages on Monday with 16 Rs, 7 2Bs, 1 3B, 3 HRs, 14 RBIs, 1 SB, .556 OBP and really that start alone should have put them in good position to take the week here. BUT both pitching staffs sucked with theirs sucking more AND the MooniniteZ were able to turn all of their bullpen attention towards Holds after grabbing 2 Saves (ONE WOULD DO) AND the Royals actually won a few games last week. These factors combined to cost the RRF the matchup, in possibly the greatest offensive performance that group of misfits could ever hope to muster. And I hope to see some closers finding a home in Rojo’s outfit in the near future is all I can really say. It’s allll fun and games until your group of BAD holds guys only garner you 2 Holds, ya schmuck. <3. The MooniniteZ will look to make it two in a row this week while the Renegade Force will look to avoid a second straight loss in a TOUGH matchup. I think we can all agree that matchup is a tough matchup these days.

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Next Week aka This Week:  MooniniteZ v. Banana Slugs (8 combined Ws here, tops for all matchups), Renegade Force v. BackdoorSliderz (7 combined Ws here and a tough test for the RRF, GRAB SOME CLOSERS OR SOMETHING)

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A BRIEF PROGRAMMING PLUG BEFORE WE GET ON TO WEEK 8, REALLLLLLY CLOSE TO THE OFFICIAL MIDPOINT OF THE SEASON. WHICH MEANS REALLLLLY CLOSE TO A MIDSEASON AWARDS POST, BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND THAT I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE INVENTED IN MY HEAD. IF ANYONE HAS ANY INTERESTING SUGGESTIONS FOR CATEGORIES FEEL FREE TO VOICE THEM IN WHATEVER FORMAT YOU ARE MOST COMFORTABLE VOICING THEM IN. OKAY ON TO WEEK 8….
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2017 WEEK 7 REVIEW: SADLY THE OGTFC FINALLY WON A GAME EDITION

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