2017 Week 4 Review: APRIL IS OVER FEEL FREE TO PANIC

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2017 WEEK FOUR HAPPENED, and now it is May and you are all free to freak the fuck out. First let us summarize….

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River City Bad Dudes Welcome The Other New Guy To The League With An L And A Side Of Humble Pie, Top Q-Tip City  –  10-2-2

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MVP:  Bryce Harper  –  Unfortunately this is becoming a bit of a theme, as Bryce is currently R-O-L-L-I-N-G. ROLL. ING. ROLLING. So fuck him he gets his fat 12 year old picture left up there. 10/27, 10 Rs, 2 2Bs, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs, .469 OBP     

LVP:  Hunter Renfroe    Renfroe came into this week with a chance at revenge against a former owner that turned his back upon him, and promptly sucked a whole lot. Renfroe is also now over the minors ABs limit and I dunno if the Morning Wood are in full compliance but am also too lazy so check but SOMEONE SHOULD LOOK INTO IT. 2/21, 2 Rs, 1 2B, .095 OBP     ***LVP OF THE WEEK***

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Bad Dudes Hitter Of Note:  Jose Abreu must follow the Morning Wood on the Twitter because he promptly went out there and had his best week of the season after having his effectiveness called into question, again this was on the Twitter (10/18, 5 Rs, 2 2Bs, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 5 RBIs, .619 OBP).

Bad Dudes Pitcher Of Note:  All Jesse Hahn did was go out there and throw TWO GEMS and then get dropped for his troubles (14 IP, 2 ER, 12 Ks, 2 QS, 1.29 ERA).

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Morning Wood Hitter Of Note:  You could craft an argument that Justin Upton was maybe the ONLY MW hitter of note and that is never a good thing for your fantasy week, to have one hitter of note (7/22, 3 Rs, 1 2B, 2 HRs, 7 RBIs, 1 SB, .400 OBP).

Morning Wood Pitcher Of Note:  ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF IT ALL Zack Greinke has mostly set aside his non-ideal velocity and is off to a pretty damn good start to the 2017 season (12 IP, 4 ER, 20 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 3.00 ERA)?

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Don’t look now gents but the Bad Dudes have rattled off 3 Ws in a row since dropping their opener, with all of them falling into the “not particularly close” category. IN FACT speaking of categories, a quick review here tells me that the Bad Dudes have been the only team in 2017 with double digit victories (aka 10+ categories won) and they have achieved that feat in 3 straight weeks. SO I dunno I guess that sounds pretty good for them. Don’t want to dish out much praise to Mike. In Week 4 it was an impressive 96 Ks and an impressive 8 Saves in addition to solid stats across the rest of the board, up against completely not solid stats all the way through for the Morning Wood. The Bad Dudes are no doubt benefiting from Bud Norris SP-eligible closer extraordinaire, who racked up 4 Saves and 8 Ks without allowing a run. Sometimes baseball makes no sense I tell you. SHANE CONTINUES TO BE HUMBLED.

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Next Week aka This Week:  Bad Dudes v. OGTF (#KeepOGTFCWinless), Morning Wood v. BackdoorSliderz (#BattleOfNewGuys).

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MLB: Atlanta Braves at Washington Nationals
Barnegat Banana Slugs Display Their East Coast Bias, Beat The Point Loma X-Rayz  –  9-3-2

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MVP:  Ryan Zimmerman  –  Fuckin Ryan Zimmerman man, gettin all into the uppercut swing craze so it seems and it is sure as shit working out for him thus far. A lot of Nationals had crazy weeks with their trip to Coors and their massacre of the Mets and he was certainly one of ’em.  13/26, 11 Rs, 2 2Bs, 5 HRs, 13 RBIs, .500 OBP.     ***MVP OF THE WEEK***

LVP:  Jose Peraza    REAL TIGHT RACE here between Peraza and LoCain but Peraza gets the nod for failing to score a run and stealing but one base. That is bad Peraza-ing.  5/19, 1 RBI, 1 SB .263 OBP

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Banana Slugs Hitter Of Note:  Ender Inciarte gave the Slugs about the beset Inciarte a team can get, showing the potential value of a guy I deemed unworthy of keeping after having him thrown into a trade and a guy that might be extra valuable to the Slugs in the wake of Adam Eaton‘s injury (7/23, 8 Rs, 3 2Bs, 4 RBIs, 5 SBs, .360 OBP).

Was Trevor Story Better Than Aledmys Diaz This Week?:  PROBABLY, I barely recall Aledmys being on my team this past week.

Current Tally: Trevor Story 3, Aledmys Diaz 1.

But Was Trevor Story Better Than Chris Owings This Week?:  NOPE

Banana Slugs Pitcher Of Note:  Ivan Nova delivered A REAL NICE MOMENT for Brian and his Slugs with his Saturday night CG shutout, the finale of which was streamed in a Brooklyn shuffleboard bar SHOUT TO BOB (9 IP, 0 ER, 7 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 1 CG, 0.00 ERA).

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X-Rayz Hitter Of Note:  Eric Thames continues to hit the baseball really hard and really far and really doesn’t make outs terribly often and so really at this point one has to wonder how often the X-Rayz consider selling high and how often they then decide they should probably just keep him forever (6/20, 7 Rs, 3 HRs, 5 RBIs, .481 OBP).

X-Rayz Pitcher Of Note:  Taijuan Walker had an encouraging start in his tricky home park YEA IT WAS THE PADRES, still encouraging (8 IP, 2 ER, 11 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 2.25 ERA).

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The sad part is I want to give the Banana Slugs a bunch of credit here for overcoming injuries time and again this season, but that has been slightly overshadowed by what was by all accounts an embarrassing display in the chat on Friday evening following the news of an Adam Eaton injury. Every team deals with injuries and the # of DL spots has been JUST FINE for many seasons now and until I see evidence of 10 day DL abuse (which could only be seen after a full season and not just after a fucking April) I don’t believe there should be any talk of additional DL spots. Punishment for whining is that I only talk about the whining and not about the matchup. CONGRATS ON THE VICTORY THOUGH.

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Next Week aka This Week:   Slugs v. Renegade Force (Brian attempts to take it to a team name he likely doesn’t approve of/attempts to make it through the week without whining in the chat like that of a female 2nd grader), X-Rayz v. MooniniteZ (bittersweet battle between besties that once co-owned the greatest team this league has ever seen).

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Astoria Isotopes Defeat (Rojo’s) Renegade Force(s) Stationed At Their Border In A Display Of Might Similar To The Might Displayed By Drunkenly Hoisting Your Author Over Their Drunken Shoulders Even Though That Is Like 50 lbs Above Their Body Weight They (He) Are (Is) Like (An) Ant(s)!  –  7-5-2

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MVP:  Aaron Judge  –  COURT IS NOW IN SESSION. And yanno, like 600 other bad Judge puns. But like .600 was like Judge’s OBP last week so he had himself a fucking week.  6/17, 9 Rs, 4 HRs, 7 RBIs, 1 SB, .609 OBP

LVP:  Hunter Pence    I think the whole Giants offense has been pretty bad thus far and Hunter Pence is PROBABLY contributing to that issue. At least last week he was. Also he’s kinda getting old.  4/26, 1 R, 2 RBIs, .214 OBP

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Isotopes Hitter Of Note:  Will Myers had a good week with a .206 OBP and I don’t know how I should feel about this (7/34, 6 Rs, 2 2Bs, 3 HRs, 9 RBIs, 1 SB, .206 OBP).

Isotopes Pitcher Of Note:  Wellllll it seems Dallas Keuchel is good again, so at least T has that going for him in addition to a newfound appreciation of the modern strip club (16.2 IP, 3 ER, 14 Ks, 2 QS, 2 W, 1 CG, 1.62 ERA). ACTUALLY HE IS PROBABLY MVP BUT TOO LATE NOW

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Renegade Force Hitter Of Note:  NELSON CRUZ, I like to congratulate Nelson on a fine week whenever possible because I miss him (9/19, 5 Rs, 1 2B, 4 HRs, 9 RBIs, .500 OBP).

Renegade Force Pitcher Of Note:  And HEY Yu Darvish looks pretty good and Rojo made sure to bring that to the attention of everyone as if that makes up for drafting a guy out with TJ in the 3rd round of a draft (6 IP, 2 ER, 10 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 3.00 ERA).

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The Isotopes and RRF were one of a few matchups that went down to Sunday, as matchups sometimes go, and the RRF just came out FLAT. In need of some clutch Sunday pitching in order to stave off the ‘Topes and they came out and delivered 0 QS and 0 Ws from their 2 starters, while the ‘Topes responded with 2 QS and 2 Ws from their 4 starters. The 2 point shifts in those categories allowed the ‘Topes to win each cat by 1 and BOOM that’s how you get the result you got here. T’s ‘Topes also got an explosion of power that should be noted here, with 21 HRs and 60 RBIs in Week 4 (both league highs for this season, check the records at the top of the page for additional info or don’t I couldn’t give a shit).

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Next Week aka This Week:  Isotopes v.  Titans (In which law of averages states ya gotta think the Titans need to win AT SOME POINT so maybe this point?), Renegade Force v. Slugs (Gotta root for Slugs injuries first and foremost, THE EMBARRASSING WHINING IS ENTERTAINING TO ME).

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The Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz Slide On By The Reeling Toms Reeler Titans (and now I have learned about this sad phenomenon, MUTANT MICE)  –  6-5-3

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MVP:  AJ Pollock  –  AJ had a 7 SB week last week, I mean APPARENTLY he only needed 2 to defeat the Titans in that particular category but I find it impressive nonetheless.  10/27 7 Rs, 3 2Bs, 1 RBI, 7 SBs, .433 OBP

LVP:  Yasiel Puig    THIS IS TWICE NOW Yasiel, at least in Week 4 he hit a dinger but so the fuck what.  3/19, 1 R, 1 HR, 2 RBIs, .200 OBP   

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BDSliderz Hitter Of Note:  Freddie Freeman was good as usual (8/21, 6 Rs, 2 2Bs, 2 HRs, 5 RBIs, 2 SBs .458 OBP).

BDSliderz Pitcher Of Note:  Kyle Hendricks was also good which is somewhat new this season but yanno SSS (12 IP, 2 ER, 9 Ks, 2 QS, 1 W, 1.50 ERA).

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Titans Hitter Of Note:  Anthony Rendon had possibly theeee most ridiculous line I have ever seen on Sunday, going 6-6 with 5 Rs 3 HRs 10 RBIs (11/25, 8 Rs, 1 2B, 3 HRs, 11 RBIs, .500 OBP).

Titans Pitcher Of Note:  Noah Syndergaard of note for allllllllll the wrong reasons as he basically pitched with a torn lat muscle and sucked while doing it and is now out for god knows how many months (1.1 IP, 5 ER, 2 Ks, 33.75 ERA).

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ANOTHER TOUGH BREAK OF THEIR OWN DOING for the Titans, as they again start 12 and again lose Ks by a teensy tiny number that they likely would have lapped with an additional 2 starters. Shame on them I don’t want to give them too much print either (the theme this week is I don’t want to give anyone too much print). But for the LACEY BACKDOORSLIDERZ this is win #1 in their first full week in control of their roster, which gave them the freedom to do things like not start Jordan Zimmerman if they don’t want to. I for one think it will be the first win of many for this club as they start to mold the roster more to their liking, and the fact is they inherited a 1-0-1 team so they have every opportunity to succeed here. SO SUCCEED I GUESS. If I was being a Negative Nancy I would point out that Lacey was one of only 2 squads with single digit HRs and had the fewest RBIs and likely would have had the fewest Ks if the Titans had started 12 and really just have to feel like they got some beginner’s luck on this one but I am not being a Negative Nancy. CONGRATS ON THE FIRST OFFICIAL VICTORY, BACKDOORSLIDERZ!

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Next Week aka This Week:  BDSliderz v. Morning Wood (After seeing Shane wear a Pikachu backpack my sense is that his team will not win another game but WHOM KNOWS what the future holds), Titans v. Isotopes (Ryan needs to get one here….he just….needs to, partly cuz who wants T at 4-1)

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2017 WEEK 4 MATCHUP OF THE WEEK, SPONSORED BY THE 1998 FLORIDA MARLINS AKA THE OTHER WORST DEFENDING CHAMP IN BASEBALL HISTORY

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Manchester MooniniteZ Give The OceanGate Trout Fishing Club The Winless April They Very Much Wanted To Give Them As An Early Wedding Present, PREVAIL  –  6-5-3

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MVP:  Chris Owings  –  I have now awarded Chris Owings two more matchup MVP awards than I expected to award him this season, and this one he very much deserved. ONLY 25 YEARS OLD FOLKS, don’t let Heroy act like he is 31. HEROY IS 31. Or 30 or something.  8/25, 5 Rs, 1 3B, 3 HRs, 10 RBIs, 3 SBs, .370 OBP

LVP:  Jason Kipnis    WELCOME BACK JASON KIPNIS, and thank you for sucking. The MooniniteZ were displeased to see a relative return to health for the OGTFC but Mr. Kipnis put those concerns at ease with his performance. JK Mookie Betts maybe sucked harder and fuck Boston.  4/18, 1 R, 2 2Bs, .263 OBP 

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MooniniteZ Hitter Of Note:  Matt Wieters came through with a clutch performance that was GOOD ENOUGH TO PUT Gary Sanchez ON THE BLOCK but also probably not really (8/18, 4 Rs, 3 HRs, 6 RBIs, 1 SB, .545 OBP).

MooniniteZ Pitcher Of Note:  My wish would be to pitch James Paxton, but I settled for just the one last week and will certainly take the two this week (7 IP, 0 ER, 9 Ks, 1 QS, 1 W, 0.00 ERA).

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OGTFC Hitter Of Note:  I mean YES Trea Turner is very good but I think that has already been established and don’t see why I need to write a bunch of words about it; also he was one of TWO players to pull off the JROLL (Mike Trout) for the OGTFC and they still lost so nana nana boo boo (14/35 FUCKING FOURTEEN, FUCKING 13 Rs, 5 2Bs, 1 3B, 2 HRs, 11 RBIs, 1 SB, .432 OBP).  (Editor’s note: I should point out that really this would probably be the “MVP OF THE WEEK” line but here in the Backyard we don’t give MVP awards to losing teams, not now not ever)

OGTFC Pitcher Of Note:  ALL OF THE ONES THAT GOT INJURED, I think the OGTFC had four starts cut short due to injury (Dickey, Manaea, Sanchez, Kuhl) and I appreciate all of them equally (a combined 12 IP, 7 ER, 9 Ks, 1 W, 5.25 ERA).

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It is with great pleasure that I present to you my victory over the defending champs, not only because they eliminated us from the playoffs last season but more importantly because this seals a win-less April for the OGTFC that will MOST ASSUREDLY be mentioned at some point during the May Power Rankings. SO MUCH FOR YOUR PRESEASON #1 SEED GREG, you have made a fool of us all here. This was one of those come down to Sunday matchups so again let us just hone in on that:  10 RBIs 3 SBs for the MooniniteZ, 3 RBIs 1 SB for the OGTFC and HEY LOOK AT THAT the MooniniteZ win RBIs +7 and SBs +2. Gotta admit I was mostly focused on just a general sleep deprivation issue on Sunday and didn’t notice this much, but surely OGTFC ownership did and was looking for some SBs or a 3B out of the late-night trio of Mookie Betts, Anthony Rizzo, and Kris Bryant. That trio only provided a useless HR and the not good enough RBI that went with it, and VOILA zero wins for the defending champ in our season’s first month. I am going to go out on a limb and say that hasn’t happened before and going to not go very far out on a limb at all and say it is FITTING that it happens to this team, one that I have petitioned in year’s past to change their name to the LessWithMores. The LessWithMores will look for their first win as the calendar turns to May.

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Next Week aka This Week:  MooniniteZ v. X-Rayz (THE GREATEST TEAM…..THIS LEAGUE…..HAS EVER SEEN), OGTFC v. Bad Dudes (WILL GREG….EVER…..WIN?).

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KEEP IT LOCKED FOR WEEK 5 AND LOOK OUT FOR THE MAY EDITION OF THE POWER RANKINGS, COMING SOON TO A NEEDLESSLY CONTROVERSIAL AND NEEDLESS BLOG NEAR YOU
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2017 Week 4 Review: APRIL IS OVER FEEL FREE TO PANIC

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