HERE ARE YOUR POWER RANKINGS FOR MAY. Rankings will focus on observations as well as a perusing of the season stats up to this point, even if I don’t necessarily discuss them for every team because SMALL SAMPLE SIZE. W-L is obviously a factor, H2H is a factor, but none of these are the SOLE FACTOR and if anyone disagrees with that then fucking make your own rankings what do I care. TO THE RANKINGS….

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1-  River City Bad Dudes (3-1)

I hate this because I beat this team but maybe this is just an excuse to point out that I beat this team? 4-D CHESS. The fact is that River City hasn’t lost since Week 1 and none of the matchups since then ended up very close. Couple that with their 2 straight BCS (Backyard Championship Series for you newbies) appearances and you have a deserving # 1 as we head into May. BUT FOR HOW LONG?????   And this is actually where I am going to cut out and Let LOBMAN HIMSELF cut in with his own versions of the rankings, cuz see it REALLY IS that easy to just write your own. (Scroll to the bottom for my 1-10)

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2-  Astoria Isotopes (WHAT) (3-1)

HEY GUYS, Lobman now manning the mic here. SO anyways, the Topes are good now, I guess. After losing the opening week, T’s boys took down 2 playoff teams (Brian & Odom), then edged out the RESURGENT resurgency resurger force in a close one. Really the only thing worth mentioning is the idea that Aaron Judge is A GUY, and Dallas Keuchel is quite a pitcher again. However far this team may go, these are the two guys who will cut the path. ALL IN ALL, a very solid start from a team who’s now added some youth along with the age and experience.

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3-  Manchester Mooninitez (3-1)

As the only team (so far) to beat the #BADDUDES, the Mooninitez really piss me off. That being said, they narrowly beat the defending champ OGFTC to keep him on pace with the top 2 in the 3-1 record crew. The Mooninitez boast potentially the best balance in the league, production wise, so its really no surprise that they’re in the running for best record at this point. Its still early, and its LIKELY that Sean makes a boneheaded mistake to ruin this balance I was speaking on. Anyways, good start!

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4- Barnegat Banana Slugs (2-1-1)

I just wanted to be different from Sean’s power rankings (below), but MAN this guy deserves some plaudits for keeping the ship afloat while amassing some of the more devastating injuries this season. ALTHOUGH its clear that some of his DL guys could be dropped rather easily, the loss of Donaldson, Eaton, and I guess Jon Gray could potentially send many teams to the bottom of the standings. Big ups to Brian for making the moves to stay toward the top of the leaderboard.

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5- Lacey Twp Backdoor Sliders (2-1-1)

New guy Sean, who took over from an alleged pedophile (I just report the facts), has invigorated life into the formerly named 3 eyed fish or whatever. A quickfire trade to land Adam Jones and Jameson Taillon to start his career could bode well for his team’s roster construction, and a narrow victory over the TR Titans keeps the new guy in the middle of the standings for the time being. Things will get tougher in time, but early results have been overwhelmingly positive.

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6-  Point Loma X-Rays (2-2)

The X-Rays decided this year that they were going to add more power to compliment their major speed. So far? Last in homers/RBI, first in 2B/SB. While their .500 record wasn’t the intended target for our commish, adding more balance to your team is never a bad thing, assuming you’re still the best at the thing that made you great. You could only assume that as the season wears on, the X-Rays will continue to shape their team in an effort to get up to the top spot come playoff time.

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7-  Q-Tip City Morning Wood (2-2)

Our second new guy, Shane, started off very well with a beatdown of both the Topes and Fishing club to start the year. If we did a WAY TOO EARLY power rankings, he may of topped the whole DAMN thing. The problem: We don’t. Also, he played two of the tougher teams in consecutive weeks, after playing two equally tough teams the first two weeks. One WHOM does these sorts of things could argue that the Wood’ has had the toughest first 4 weeks in the league to date. I also did no research to back that up, so.. Anyways, the QTC are coming off getting beat up by the ‘Dudes, and will hope to right the ship and now fall behind the pack here as we start the summer months.

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8- Ocean Gate Trout Fishing Club (0-0)

I could’ve given the Renegade Force this spot here, but the truth is its only a matter of time before Heroy’s defending champions wake up and begin their ascent to the top of the standings. You know it, I know it, we all fuckin know it. May even begin this week in a “Re-Match” (Greg’s word), but whenever it is, the OGTFC hope it happens soon. We all know how things start to get crazy toward late July, when even the best of teams could miss out on a playoff birth, depending on how they start the season.

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9- Rojo’s Renegade Force (1-3) 

The former Resurgence will hope to actually be resurgent in the near future, especially in the pitching area. Their arsenal of “aces” are comprised of 4 ERA’s and higher, along with their innovative strategy of dominating holds landing them 3rd most holds this year. That is not quite the return you want if you’re punting a category to dominate another. I’m just saying. ANYWHO, Rojo’s pitching will improve probably, and his bats have not been bad. Better times are coming the Renegade Force.

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10-  Toms River Titans (0-4) 😦  

Ohhhh 2 time champion TR Titans, why do you run into such horrendous luck? Outside of the week 2 loss to the X-Rays, the remainder of the Titans’ losses have been narrow and painful. Injuries and ineffectiveness on the pitching end, followed by the insistence to roster Byron Buxton (who is awful) have led to a really painful start for a team that would rather not have another painful start. You can still make the argument that they’re one of the more talented teams in the league tho, so a comeback is not out of the question.

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MOONINITEZ MANAGEMENT’S MAY 1-10

1- River City Bad Dudes

2- Astoria Isotopes

3- US, Manchester MooniniteZ

4- Lacey Township BackdoorSliderz

5- Barnegat Banana Slugs

6- Point Loma X-Rayz

7- Q-Tip City Morning Wood

8- OceanGate Trout Fishing Club

9- Rojo’s Renegade Force

10- Toms River Titans