APRIL.  EVERYONE HAS A CHANCE TO WIN BUT NOT REALLY.  Let’s look at a quick version of power rankings (these things will be monthly going forward) and get a few quick PRESEASON PREDICTIONS. Other blog contributors FEEL FREE to add your own rankings and predictions to this post throughout the week. After Week 1 predictions are considered cheating. Let’s bang these out right quick, THEY WILL BE BRIEF refer to the team previews for my true feelings on your soon to be mismanaged rosters.

s

1-  OceanGate Trout Fishing Club (0-0)

The champ returns with a championship roster, made some tweaks but the core here can absolutely repeat and nobody denies this. FORTUNATELY repeating is really difficult. So we have that to hang our hopes on. That and the marriage curse. ALL HAIL THE MARRIAGE CURSE.

s

2-  River City Bad Dudes (0-0)

The Bad Dudes limped into the playoffs last year and then righted the ship and damn near went back to back, so they deserve the second ranking here. They also on the sly upgraded their pitching rotation, which historically has given them cause for concern around the trade deadline and forced them into SHADY dealings. Perhaps shady dealings won’t be needed this year (he will do them anyways).

s

3-  Toms River Titans (0-0)

LAST YEAR the Now Toms River Titans found themselves with a 1 seed in BSmith’s GOT-themed power rankings, and once can argue their team is even stronger this year (rotation certainly is), but I AM NOT FALLING FOR IT this time. Pitching is too fragile to rest thy laurels on excellent pitching, that being said this team has excellent pitching. Full health from the staff and they might not need much from the offense, and the offense has the pieces to deliver. SLEEPER CHAMP PICK here. But jk I plan on winning.

s

4- Manchester MooniniteZ (0-0)

I plan on winning. GIMME A FEW MONTHS though to get to the top of the Power Rankings, for now I think we slot in about here.

s

5- Point Loma X-Rayz (0-0)

And my former partner in crime slots in about here. Again NOT GONNA MAKE BRIAN’S MISTAKE and place them 10th based on some underwhelming aspects of the roster, because the roster should look vastly different by the end of the year and Odom shall manage to optimum performance.

s

6-  Barnegat Banana Slugs (0-0)

The Banana Slugs are just full of potential regression. Just. Full of it. HENCE SIXTH. But also they have enough know-how and enough Josh Donaldson and I ADMIT IT enough Trevor Story to get back to the big dance that is the Backyard League playoffs.

s

7-  Astoria Isotopes (0-0)

It PAINS ME to say this but I think I like the Isotopes offseason maneuvers as much as just about any team in the league that isn’t Ryan’s team. Not sure why everyone feels the need to always trade Freddie Freeman but at least the ‘Topes got a non-horrifying return, in their return. And I like most of their other offseason moves. STILL RANKED SEVENTH.

s

8- Forked River Three-Eyed Fish (0-0)

It also pains me to not rank the 3EF 10th, because they CLEARLY picked up Francisco Liriano as a personal attack towards me and I will not allow Mikey T to tell me differently. This is a call to arms for all of the 3EFs opponents to drop them to 0-4 so I can drop them to 10th on the May Power Rankings.

s

9- Rojo’s Renegade Force (0-0) 

ROJO’S RENEGADE FORCE.  I am a fan of the name change, he recognized he had one year to make a Resurgence happen and it didn’t happen and now we move on. It appears the Renegade Force has a very tight knit group, that is the only possible explanation for the QUIET offseason over there in Rojo land. April Power Rankings will forever be unkind to the quiet offseason.

s

10-  Q-Tip City Morning Wood (0-0) 

Shane embarks on his maiden voyage following a MAJOR overhaul to the roster, and only Brian (and possibly Lobman) can speak to his weekly management style so TIME SHALL TELL. I think he is a nice fella and I wish him the best but I also disapproved with just about every one of his trades, SUCH IS LIFE.

s

s

PRESEASON PREDICTIONS

s

AMERICAN DIVISION CHAMP:  Toms River Titans

s

NATIONAL DIVISION CHAMP:  OceanGate Trout Fishing Club

s

CHAMP CHAMP:  ME MOTHERFUCKERS

s

BACKYARD MVP:  Nolan Arenado 😉

s

BACKYARD CY YOUNG:  Clayton Kershaw boringly enough

s

BACKYARD ROY:  Andrew Benintendi

s

BACKYARD BIGGEST BUST:  YULI GURRIEL FUCK YOU MIKE

s

BACKYARD BIGGEST SLEEPER:  Kevin Kiermaier

s

s

Best of luck to all and thank fucking god baseball is back…….