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KNOW YOUR OWNER!:  SHANE! Is the owner of this particular team. And it is interesting that I am going with a “Know Your Owner” section because NOBODY REALLY FUCKING KNOWS HIM. Apparently Brian does. I don’t even know WHAT Shane enjoys, siring kids apparently maybe? And apparently “Uncle Keith” is his father-in-law I think? And for that we all owe him our condolences. Perhaps him and Lobman and Ryan can swap father-in-law war stories. ANYWHOM, Shane seems like a good dude to me and has already shown himself not afraid to mix it up in the trade markets and take whatever public judgment goes with that, in this particular league. How he goes about his business in-season remains to be seen but it is literally impossible to contribute less than Cliff did, probably. BEST OF LUCK TO THE FUCKIN’ NEW GUY IN THE UPCOMING SEASON!

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KEY ADDITIONS!:  Shane! ,  RF Carlos Gonzalez, LF Justin Upton, CF Odubel Herrera, 1B Brandon Belt, C Yasmani Grandal, SP Zack Greinke and SP Felix Hernandez maybe but probably not

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KEY SUBTRACTIONS!:  Cliff (realizing now that key subtractions should be substractions that may negatively affect the team, and Cliff.  Ain’t.  That.), 2B Daniel Murphy, SS Francisco Lindor, SP Jon Gray, SP Steven Matz, SP Noah Syndergaard, RP Cody Allen

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THE HITTERS!:  A quick glance at the offense shows an offense SELLIN’ OUT for power, perhaps at OBP’s expense. (Notoriously inflated) ESPN projections have all but 2 of the MW’s current starters hitting 20+ HRs, and all but two of the MW’s starters having an OBP above let’s sayyyy .345 (the two above being Kyle Seager and Brandon Belt). The OF boasts a trio of damn fine power bats (Justin Upton, Yoenis Cespedes, Carlos Gonzalez) and the infield has Brian Dozier and the OBP-league underrated Brandon Belt and REALLY GOOD CATCHER Yasmani Grandal. BUT….there are some holes or question marks or question mark shaped holes. Jay Bruce the Mets may not even want, Hunter Renfroe who knows what you get out of him (homers….probably a few homers), Addison Russell could and should take a big step forward and also could not, Troy Tulowitzki always injured only getting older, Mike Moustakas MEH. Certainly this isn’t a bad offense but it is an offense that has recently parted with some talent and when you take it in as a whole it feeeeeeels, slightly underwhelming (IMHO). MAYBE IF THEY TRADED THOR FOR A BETTER FIRST BASEMEN.

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THE ROTATION!:  NO THOR. They do not have Thor. What they do have is top 5 SP Madison Bumgarner, so where they used to have 2 in the top 5 they now have one. They also have Jon Lester whoooo I dunno, I guess he’s maybe top 10. I’ve never cared for the fella but he had a fine 2016 (2.44 ERA, 8.75 K/9, 26 QS, 2 CG). So yes he is good too. THE REST? Tough to say. Jeff Samardzija and Zack “not ideal velocity” Greinke were once both pretty good, whether they are now is up for debate. Jordan Zimmerman probably just isn’t that good, Robbie Ray misses a lot of bats but also gets hit fucking HARD, Jharel Cotton and Daniel Norris are both young and may both be on the verge of breakouts but YOUNG PITCHING AMIRITE. IAMRITE. This staff has more of those question mark shaped holes.

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THE BULLPEN!:  FINALLY something resembling a full bullpen…..although a shaky one at best, one that would have looked better had it not parted with Cody Allen. Ryan Madson came back in that deal and he’s old and shaky, could easily be replaced in Oakland or end up injured once again. Jeurys Familia lead alllll of baseball in saves last year but also was up there in domestic violence incidents, so he’s gonna miss some time to start the season. How much time he misses remains to be seen but he won’t be there on Opening Day which I am SURE the morning glorys are aware of. Nate Jones is actually a very solid holds guy that could very possibly EVEN turn into a saves guy if the White Sox wake the fuck up and trade D-Rob for whatever they can get. Alex Colome was once a great SP-eligible closer but now he will return to just being a pretty great closer, assuming the Rays don’t fuck around. They shouldn’t, he should be fine. 

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THE OUTLOOK!:  It was clear this offseason that Shane and the Morning Wood wanted to show themselves as open and willing to make deals, and that is commendable. The question now will be if there was one (or two or three) deals too many this particular offseason, as some of the returns looked questionable compared to the costs and several very talented fantasy baseball players left town. Tough to know what kind of day to day management Shane will have, but this is a league where missing an opportunity to stream a spot start can cost you a matchup and upon first glance the Morning Wood roster would appear to have little room for error. In season maneuvers can shift outlooks for any team but right now this team appears to be the one with the greatest number of question mark shaped holes.

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SEAN’S PREDICTION!:  7-11, 10th place.  It is a tough league to break into WHAT CAN I SAY.  There have, however, been several instances of first year owners making quite a splash in this league and that factor can’t be denied.  For now, with nothing to go off of but a casual glance at the AM Boners roster, I have to forecast them to finish last in Year 1 as they start the long journey of correcting Cliff’s Metsophilic roster.