WEEKEND TRADES REVIEW: REVIEWS NOW WITH THE BREVITY THEY DESERVE

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“BREVITY IS THE BROTHER OF BRILLIANCE” — George Steinbrenner, probably incorrectly quoting Shakespeare

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TRADE #1:

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The Point Loma X-Rayz trade SP Jon Lester and SP Robbie Ray to the Q-Tip City Morning Wood for 2B Daniel Murphy.

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THE X-RAYZ RETURN:

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2B Daniel Murphy – 2B and 1B eligible homophobe fresh off his best professional season, his first with the Nationals. Second or third best 2B to own in fantasy depending upon your thoughts on Brian Dozier (Update:  I forgot Trea Turner existed so maybe slide this down to “third or fourth” THIS YEAR ONLY).390 OBP, 47 doubles, 5 triples, 25 HRs, 88 Rs, 104 RBIs, 5 SBs in 2016. So yea, monster fucking season. Turns 32 on Opening Day eve. FUN FACT STOLEN FROM FANGRAPHS: Dating back to August 1st, 2015, Murphy’s .950 OPS is 6th-best in baseball, ahead of Kris Bryant (.946), Miguel Cabrera (.938), Freddie Freeman (.936), and Nolan Arenado (.932) to name a few.

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THE MORNING WOOD RETURN:

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SP Jon Lester – 33 year old Cubs LHP and Opening Day starter that can’t throw to first base. Pretty good at aspects of pitching that do not involve throwing to first base.  19-5, 2.44 ERA, 197 Ks in 202.2 IP (8.75 K/9), 26 QS, 2 CGs in 2016.  Very probably a top 10 fantasy SP heading into 2017 but also FOREVER A RED SAWK to me so fuck him.

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SP Robbie Ray – 25 year old NL version of Michael Pineda.  Pitches in a HR friendly home park (1.20 HR/9 @ Home, 1.27 HR/9 @ Away) which might offset some of the advantages of getting to pitch to pitchers a bunch of times. 8-15, 4.90 ERA, 218 Ks in 174.1 IP (A SUPER SEXY 11.25 K/9), 10 QS in 2016.  Needs to get more than two fucking pitches and cut down on the HRs, but if he does so watch out because the Ks are elite.

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RETURN SEAN LIKES MORE:

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THE X-RAYZ.  Only because I prefer the homophobe to the poster boy for that shitty 2007 Red Sox team that got to play the Rockies in the World Series.  Fuck Jon Lester.  It’s entirely possible that in most fantasy drafts ’round the world Lester goes a few picks ahead of Daniel Murphy, BUT ONLY A FEW.  And Robbie Ray is a nice piece to tack on, taking the gamble that he can rise above his issues and lower that ERA and work later into games and such.  But Murphy is top 2 or 3 at his position and gives the X-Rayz the possibility of playing him at either 1B or 2B, which will surely keep the hot fucking stove hot for them.  I prefer the Murphy side and I don’t need to explain my Red Sox bias to ANYONE.

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TRADE #2:

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The Barnegat Banana Slugs trade CF Odubel Herrera and RP Ryan Madson to the Q-Tip City Morning Wood for CF Ender Inciarte and RP Cody Allen.

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THE SLUGS RETURN:

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CF Ender Inciarte – 26 year old Braves CF coming off an ever so slightly injury shortened season that might have hid his sleeper potential a wee bit. .351 OBP, 24 doubles, 7 triples, 3 HRs, 85 Rs, 29 RBIs, 16 SBs in 2016. Should bat leadoff in ATL and AS I ALREADY NOTED LAST TIME HE WAS TRADED, could be a good source of runs (as all leadoff guys can be I s’pose) if the Braves offense gets its proverbial shit together.  Let’s let Fangraphs contribute another thing:

  • A strained hamstring cost Ender Inciarte the first month of the season and likely had some impact on his awful May (.216 AVG, .539 OPS), but he was even better than the strong 2015 version from June on with a .308/.363/.411 line in his final 470 PA (.303/.338/.408 in ’15). Could be a sneaky runs asset if the Braves are anywhere near their second half prowess all season.

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RP Cody Allen –  28 year old closer for the Indians, and their second best relief pitcher. 3-5, 2.51 ERA, 32 Saves (3 BS), 87 Ks in 68 IP (11.51 K/9) in 2016. I suppose there’s a small chance Francona decides enough of this shit and puts Andrew Miller in the closer’s role in Cleveland, he certainly would get the call if Allen blows a bunch o’ saves, but it seems the Indians like using Miller in their own wacky way so Allen should be safe barring performance issues. A top 15 or so closer without question and one can certainly entertain top 10 arguments (I probably put him in my top 10, LEAVE YOURS IN THE COMMENTS SECTION BELOW!).

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THE MORNING WOOD RETURN:

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CF Odubel Herrera – 25 year old Phillies CF (OoOoOo younger guy) coming off an impressive breakout-ish (at least offensively) season for the Phightins. .361 OBP, 21 doubles, 6 triples, 15 HRs, 87 Rs, 49 RBIs, 25 SBs in 2016. A legit 20/20 threat if things break right on the HR side of things.

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RP Ryan Madson – 36.5 year old closer for the Oakland Athletics (OLD GUY). 6-7, 2.51 ERA, 30 Saves (7 BS), 3 Holds, 49 Ks in 64.2 IP (a GROSS 6.82 K/9) in 2016. Madson fits the mold of a closer that could EASILY be supplanted should he struggle or should the Athletics decide Sean Doolittle is the better option or should literally just about anyone else step up in that pen.  2016 numbers were pretty MEH but he was much better for the Royals in 2015. Decidedly not a top 15 closer but mayyyyybe top 20ish, right on the border of top 20ish, maybe?  Maybe not?  But maybe?  Probably not though.

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RETURN SEAN LIKES MORE:

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THE BANANA SLUGS.  Firstly let me just say that I enjoyed this trade, because as I noted in our chat it was basically one side trading the better OF and the other side trading the better RP and how you feel about it maybe just comes down to which side got the greater gap with their “better” return.  And in my opinion Cody Allen is much better than Madson, whereas Odubel is maybe a bit less better than Ender Inciarte.  CERTAINLY BETTER though, but if you’re looking at those 2016 numbers you have to factor in about 60 extra ABs for Odubel and possible lingering issues with Inciarte’s hammy and yada fucking yada.  Odubel has more pop than Inciarte will ever have though, can’t nobody take that from him.  But Cody Allen to me is a top 10 closer and really shores up the Slugs RPs, I believe he actually almost has too many at this juncture (HOT FUCKIN STOVE), so I like his side more for those and other reasons (I might want to trade with him more than I currently want to trade with the other side).

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RIP to The Boss
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WEEKEND TRADES REVIEW: REVIEWS NOW WITH THE BREVITY THEY DESERVE

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