CONGRATULATIONS TO THE 2016 BACKYARD CHAMPIONS, THE OCEANGATE TROUT FISHING CLUB
Ugh that kinda stung just typing that out. So now let’s figure out how in the fuck we got here.
BCS BCR REVIEW
MVP: Trea Turner – Before I get to Trea Turner’s numbers from the “BCR” I figure I will just list his numbers from his last 30 days, which should serve as a better writeup for Greg’s title run than anything I will write below. LAST 30: 47/120, 22Rs, 5 doubles, 1 triple, 8HRs, 17RBIs, 14SBs, .416OBP. And now for the “BCR” numbers. 12/26, 8Rs, 1 double, 1 triple, 3HRs, 4RBIs, 4SBs, .481OBP
LVP: Bryce Harper – The man most responsible for the Cuban Missiles 2015 title (think Chris Johnson the year I won the football league) becomes the man most responsible for the Cuban Missiles 2016 title game defeat. POETIC. 1/17, 4Rs, 2RBIs, 1SB, .333OBP
WELL IT IS ABOUT…..TIME. Gregory Heroy and his mighty “OceanGate” Trout Fishing Club are finally champeens, perhaps slightly atoning for all of those other times where they weren’t champeens when logic dictated they maybe should have been. And with their victory, dreams of a back-to-back for the River City Cuban Missiles fade away. The Cuban Missiles deserve a ton of credit for dragging their team, seemingly mired in a post-championship haze for the entire season (and seemingly undone at several turns by their own weird trades), all the way back to the BCS as the 6th seed. Alas they ran out of gas there, and now Heroy has his first championship AND THERE REMAINS BUT ONE INSTANCE OF A BACK TO BACK [TO BACK] IN THE BACKYARD. Perhaps the most impressive part about le Heroy finally getting over le Hump is just how AWFUL his team looked a few days into this matchup. Many a league member bemoaned and bitched and moaned that the matchup may already be over two days in, when the OGTFC ran a team OBP in the mid to low .200s and a team ERA in the mid 20s. The OGTFC’s first three starts in particular deserve to be highlighted here: 2IP 5ER 3Ks from Gerrit Cole, 2IP 7ER 0Ks from Andrew Cashner, and 3.2IP 7ER 2Ks from Matt Boyd. A 5 start Wednesday from the Fishing Club didn’t fare much better (5.83 team ERA on the day), although it would be hard to consistently be as bad as those first 3 starts, and just like that Heroy had already basically conceded losses in ERA, Ks, and QS (1QS in their first 8 starts). With the offense also sputtering and an unkind championship history on their side it was easy to see why people were down on Greg and the gang, but to their credit they battled back to life after that TRULY horrid start. All of the attention paid to the struggles of the OGTFC obscured some struggles of their own for the Cuban Missiles, who put up a .200OBP on Wednesday in what would be the first signs of a Fishing Club comeback. By the weekend the Fishing Club’s offense would be humming once again and the offense of the Missiles, while not terrible, would simply fail to keep up down the stretch. ALSO somehow the Missiles pitching staff failed to garner more Ws than the terrible OGTFC staff and couldn’t grab the relief cats, so that….. was that. Where the OBP category had once leaned heavily in the Missiles favor, it would wind up going to the OGTFC due to a .481 team OBP on Friday (to go along with 16 runs) and a .390 team OBP on Saturday (10 runs). Despite the Missiles posting solid OBPs of their own during this stretch (.411 on Friday, .340 on Saturday) they saw their offensive leads mostly vanish, as they were outscored by 11 over the course of those two crucial days and out-tripled and out-SB’d pretty much all week once the OGTFC got it going. By Sunday night, it was clear that even a gargantuan effort by the Missiles Sawks contingent (Hanley tried his best) wouldn’t be enough to get Lobman his second championship in as many years (and third overall). So for one last time in the 2016 season, who cares fuck Mike #WCFM.
And Greg Heroy is our 2016 champion. Special shout out to everyone protesting the entire affair by not showing up to Heroy’s house at all on Sunday (except that CONSUMMATE GENTLEMAN ROJO). Props on that.
OGTFC hitter of note: For old time’s sake Andrew McCutchen had himself a week in the BCS, a beautiful performance for (one of ?) the (possibly?) longest-tenured player(s?) on Greg’s roster (11/33, 7Rs, 2 doubles, 3HRs, 10RBIs, .410OBP).
OGTFC pitcher of note: Ervin Santana hasn’t pitched this well since like 2008 and who knows what the fuck to make of it in terms of what it means for 2017, although I say he’s still bad (7IP, 0ER, 9Ks, 1QS, 0.00ERA).
Missiles hitter of note: To his credit that LAZY AND LOW ENERGY Hanley Ramirez did his damnedest to try and bring this one home for the Cuban Missiles (12/26, 5Rs, 1 double, 5HRs, 12RBIs, .517OBP).
Missiles pitcher of note: Ivan Nova is perhaps the most interesting pitcher on Lobman’s roster, he shockingly shined throughout the playoffs and now it’s a matter of whether or not he remains with the Pirates and whether or not he needs to in order to keep up this “Ivan Nova is all of a sudden pretty good” voodoo that he do (6IP, 1ER, 11Ks, 1QS, 1.50ERA).
Next Week aka OFFSEASON: Heroy and his Fishing Club begin a year-long campaign of attempting to be our most annoying champion ever, NO SMALL FEAT as I do believe Odom and I got pretty bad there at certain points. Lobman attempts to find joy in fatherhood or some shit. The league as a whole attempts to find reasons to talk to one another now that the season is over, and this will probably involve entirely too much politics and I hate it already.
Another season is in the books and so now we must IMMEDIATELY look forward in order to leave Greg no time to celebrate. Firstly and foremostly what is the future of this blog? WHOM knows #FuckYouMikeyTIWillUseWhomWheneverIPlease. Naturally content will dry up a bit with no hot Backyard League action to discuss, however there may be periodic updates as league business gets dealt with. Speaking of said league business, this offseason should be a somewhat busy one as we transition to our first “dynasty” offseason and head towards an election of sorts (?!) for a new commissioner. Mikey T’s reign of terror may very well be over, folks. In addition to the new commissioner I will be personally advocating for the need for a replacement owner for a one Clifford Bajor. IT’S BEEN FUN CLIFF AND IT HAS ALSO BEEN LONG OVERDUE CLIFF. It is probably time for him to turn in his Mets-based roster and ride off into the sunset and I will yell at anyone that tries to argue otherwise, maybe even on the internet. And as a last order of business, although this list isn’t necessarily meant to be exhaustive and I am probably leaving out other things, will be hammering out the updated minors system/rules/potential draft for next season’s new additions to the player pool. Expect all of that to be discussed likely into the Winter Meetings and finalized before or around the beginning of the 2017 season.
Lastly but for real this time, I don’t know what the current plan is for a league roster lock date (if there even should be such a thing) but I do know that the ESPN fantasy page will go dark at some point. And so I encourage each and every one of you to take a long hard look at your rosters right this instant and see if there’s any pickups that you can make to try and ensure we never have to witness a Lobman-Heroy BCS battle ever again. THIS IS DYNASTY MODE PEOPLE. Plenty of interesting names out there in the FA pool and PROBABLY plenty of trash still on rosters that maybe shouldn’t be held going into 2017. Not gonna name names.