Power Rankings – Consolidated for Time Edition

Connor is the King of the Mountain – BUT FOR HOW LONG?

– Well, I’m sorry people. It seems that in the wake of my incredibly busy life (laziness), I neglected to post a Power Rankings, as is my every-other week duty. This was a very regrettable thing, because I was really hoping to praise Connor and his Drakepuns for a very admirable few weeks ahead of our match-up, which I will not now because its fucking Thursday and we’re in a battle. So I digress, and will make a quick little Power Rankings for those of you who are just DESPERATE for rankings. I know I am:

The Contenders

  1. Connor’s Drakepuns (3-1)
  2. Rojo’s Resurgence (3-1)
  3. Point Loma X-Rays (2-1-1)

What a weird and fascinating world we live in. It feels like only last year (it was) that these two were both on the bottom of the league, floundering along dreaming of success in 2016. Well, that dream has come true through the first month, as both teams put together very successful 3-1 records. Connor has a team name (which I will not speak of), and it’s based off maybe the best player that everyone’s tried to trade for like 100 times, Mr. Jose Juan Carlos Sergio Altuve. (Note: those middle names are made up). Rojo certainly has a resurgence going so far in 2016, and he’s done it with incredible balance. Seriously, look it up, because I’m not really going to expound on it much more than that. LOOK AT THOSE HOLDS, too. On the back end of this one is Mike Odom and his Lovely named Point Loma X-Rays. I love names that I could speak on and not get aggravated as hell. The X-Rays (See, its great) took a HUGE hit this week with Dee Gordon’s obvious steroid suspension, so we’ll see how losing your most important player will hamper his speed demon production. Also, I think ¾ of his team is hurt. Moving on…

The Middlers

  1. Barnegat Banana Slugs (2-2)
  2. Pine Lake People’s Champs (2-2)
  3. Ocean Gate Fisherman Club (2-2)
  4. Main Street Mooninitez (2-2)
  5. River City Cuban Missiles (1-1-2)

There are really too many teams here for me to write about, and I promise in the future I will be more invested in the process but GEE GOLLY these are a lot of .500 teams. This league has gotten so confusing that you have no idea who’s gonna win one week to the next! Maybe you all think you do, but you don’t, so there. Quick highlights for each team over the course of the month? Slugs – Story of course. People’s Champs – He got some pitching. Fishing Club – Rizzo 😦 . Mooninitez – Velazquez is a nice story. Missiles – Harper always. GOOD SUMMARY.

The Losers

  1. Springfield Isotopes (1-2-1)
  2. Whitestone Bulldogs (0-4)

It gives me no pleasure to put these to nice guys in the bottom rung of the league, but lets face it, someone has to be there, right? There’s not a whole lot of nice things to say right now about the Isotopes, but things may be looking up after a very positive victory over the Slugs last week, and I think they’re winning this week so far so hey maybe he’s righted the ship. But currently The Topes are the 9th best team in the league. Cliff’s Bulldogs are maybe the most confusing team to figure out this year, as they’re incredibly balanced and frustrating to face, yet are 0-4. If I cared enough, I would investigate further. I’ll just note that he’s made 18 roster moves, which is maybe not enough to compete in this league.

ONTO WEEK 5, Already in progress…..


Power Rankings – Consolidated for Time Edition

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